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* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1019 posts • joined 27 Apr 2010

Hooters, shooters and looters: Eidos’s Tomb Raider

Lamont Cranston
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Re: From the people who bought you Rick Dangerous

I'm with you, Mr Hill - Tomb Raider was crap. It being one of the first things I played on Playstation, it quickly became clear that platform games don't work in 3d (Spyro soon corroborated this; see also that awkward moment in Half Life where you need to jump onto packing crates over the obligatory bottomless pit). Add to that, wandering alone around enormous caverns, whilst technically impressive, is dull as ditch.

Most fun I got out of it was drowning Lara in her own pool.

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The latest stupid yoof craze: Taking selfies - while DRIVING

Lamont Cranston
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Re: This is a very bad idea, however

Oh, I don't know. 20 pints down? Unfit state to drive. Eyes glued to your phone? Unfit state to drive.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my LSD flashback is just starting to kick in, so I need to find a multistorey to fly off of.

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Lamont Cranston
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@ Kubla

The photo metadata can give away the device used, can it not?

Still, little chance of the law stepping in, so let's just cross our fingers that the stupid buggers manage to crash somewhere remote.

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Undercover BBC man exposes Amazon worker drone's daily 11-mile trek

Lamont Cranston
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^ This.

I expect Amazon are working on that, and then there'll be howls of outrage as all these rubbish jobs are given over to the machines

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Could be a lot worse

Yes, it could be worse, so shut up and enjoy what you've got, proles.

That's a fine attitude, that is.

Edit: I sort of regret typing this, as walking 11m/day really doesn't sound that bad. Oh well. Up the workers!

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Vladimir PUTIN officially HARDER than CHUCK NORRIS

Lamont Cranston
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Re: which will do more damage to either society?

Only one of them is running a country, unless I've missed a recent update to the Chuck Norris Facts?

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Gold meddler: Doctor Who is 50 years old TODAY

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Tonights Episode...

I enjoyed it, but the whole rewriting of the recent continuity for the sake of a happy ending left a bad taste (not to mention the way the Zygons storyline was forgotten about). Still, no point moaning about poor continuity in Doctor Who, as it's one of the hallmarks!

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Ditch your boring iPhone for a hot Android piece, says Google's TOTALLY UNBIASED Eric Schmidt

Lamont Cranston
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You can't hold a balanced opinion here -

this is the INTERNET!

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London: Hey Amazon, wanna slip your speedy packages down our tubes?

Lamont Cranston
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Ah, yes, a crowded tube station

with half the punters carrying large boxes down the escalators - what could possibly go wrong?

Having an open ticket office would have made things easier for me over the weekend, as then there would have been a human being on hand to explain that my travelling companions were not children, they were unpersons, and my making that mistake was why the ticket machine wouldn't sell to me at the expected price. What's better: reading all the fine print on a VDU, with a huffy queue building up behind you, or having a member of staff who knows exactly the ticket you need to buy? I've met my share of numpties through TfL, but I'd still rather argue with a numpty than ticket machine.

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Doctor Who: From Edwardian grump to Malcolm Tucker and back again

Lamont Cranston
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Re: It is not an unknown incarnation

Beyond the fact that he's The War Doctor, he's still an unknown - unless you've travelled to Saturday to watched the new episode, and have popped back to be smug about it?

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Who’s Who: a Reg quest to find the BEST DOCTOR

Lamont Cranston
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I agree that it depends when you first encountered the show.

Being the age I am, Davidson, Baker (Colin), and McCoy are my Doctors - I have a particular fondness for McCoy, but that might have more to do with Ace and my hormone levels at the time. Regardless, I always enjoyed watching repeats of earlier series and it was always The Doctor, no matter which actor was playing him - I don't think they've ever miscast.

It's a crying shame that McGann never got to do any TV episodes, as he's a fantastic actor, and an excellent Doctor Who (judging by his audio work, and the recent mini episode). Thanks to the extend hiatus, the new Doctors just aren't my Doctors - my kids are just getting into it, now, so I'm hoping that will change.

Is there an icon for terminal fence sitting?

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Doctor Who writers Neil Gaiman and Terrance Dicks talk to The Reg

Lamont Cranston
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Am I the only one

who didn't think much of The Doctor's Wife? The TARDIS being alive and having a mind of its own is a given, but I didn't need to see it turn into a person and have it and The Doctor express their love for each other. It's bad enough having all his companions fall in love with him, we don't need it from the bloody police box, too!

Here's hoping that Capaldi's Doctor can be more grandfatherly, and less teenage heart-throb.

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From Dept of REALLY? Sueball lobbed at Apple over crap iOS Maps app

Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

@Tromos

Lucky for me that there's an icon for this.

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SCADA flaws put world leaders at risk of TERRIBLE TRAFFIC JAM

Lamont Cranston
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So, hacking the traffic lights is out.

How about taking control of the airport?

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Citizen Kano pitches easy-build Raspberry Pi for code-hungry kids

Lamont Cranston
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Hold on a minute!

"tweaked version of Debian Wheezy which guides the young user through assembling the machine"

Dad, how do I put this together? "Just boot it up and read the tutorials." How do I boot it up if I haven't put it together yet? "You need to read the tutorial." How do I get to the tutorial? "Boot it up and ... umm ... there was a little man ... in his hair ..."

I'm also looking forward to the text version of Snake.

: GO NORTH

You GO NORTH. You are in a room.

: EXAMINE ROOM

There is a NUMBER.

: EXAMINE NUMBER

It is a NUMBER 3.

: EAT NUMBER 3.

You EAT the NUMBER 3. You grow longer.

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Lamont Cranston
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Joke

Re: Ok

I'm glad your enjoying your Lego, books, and outdoor games. What are your kids up to?

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Lamont Cranston
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Go

Lovely.

Now I'm torn between this and my intended "father/son bonding project" that would have been helping the little'un to build his first PC.

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Oracle pens recipe for tweeting turkey in Raspberry Pi sauce

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Tweets from my Pi?

Isn't this just the sort of hardware hack that the Pi was designed for? Never mind the ends, just focus of the means!

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Bloke named 'human' demands 'COPSLIE' licence plate

Lamont Cranston
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Re: 'I disagree with what you are saying, but i defend to the death your right to say it'

I'd be all for the right to free speech, if people weren't so insistent on exercising that right. Maybe the "right to free speech" should be paired with the "responsibility to shut up"?

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Doctor Who nicked my plot and all I got was a mention in this lousy feature

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Who's Doc Who ?

I can only assume that you grew up during that dreadful period when Doctor Who only existed as repeats on UK Gold. Kindly direct your anger at your parents, not The Doctor.

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Deezer unveils tarted-up music-streaming service after $130m injection

Lamont Cranston
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I get it as part of my Orange/EE contract.

My experience so far is as follows:

- Having not used any similar services before, I think it's quite good, but I wouldn't spend money on it.

- Playlists are a fine idea, but cannot be reordered, and don't play back in the order they were compiled.

- Many tracks drop out during the first few seconds of playback, whether on 3G, WiFi, or cached copy.

- Choice is good, but not comprehensive, so it's easy to not find the track I'm after (or end up with a cover version).

What's "vinyl"?

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Whovians, your Doctor needs you: Take back the Day from One Direction

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Sorry not interested

I wanted to downvote this, but the truth is that Firefly was much better than Agents of SHIELD. Pretty sure AoS is only there to keep us attentive for the release of Avengers 2, but it's working on me and mine, anyway!

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Just a TV show (and a boy band)!

What do you mean "might be ruined"? Of course it will. I'll watch it anyway, but the BBC should really issue all parents with a cheat sheet, to answer the inevitable slew of questions from any children in the vicinity.

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Unbelievably RARE, two-horned 'UNICORN' SPOTTED in woods

Lamont Cranston
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Re: All references to unicorns are just for the hype

4 legs and horns on its head? Probably a more credible contender for "origin of the unicorn" than the narwhal, all things considered.

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Anonymous claims Parliament Wi-Fi hack during London protest

Lamont Cranston
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Spoil your ballot?

Useless.

If it really is the case that none of the candidates are fit to represent you, surely the onus is on you to become a candidate, and hoover up all those votes from the otherwise disenfranchised?

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NO! Radio broadcasters snub 'end of FM' DAB radio changeover

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Local listening

There are plenty of interesting local stations, but they either serve a tiny market, or operate without a license (so far as I could tell - I had some fantastic drum'n'bass station cut in to my DAB rebroadcast when my car went over the QEII bridge, and I'm assuming that the hyperactive loon, clearly broadcasting out of his shed, responsible didn't have a license).

Shunting the large commercial operators onto DAB would free up the FM space, and probably deal a death-blow to the identikit chart pop stations, which is win-win, in my book.

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Does 'Star Wars' casting call hint at DEATH of LUKE SKYWALKER?

Lamont Cranston
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I wouldn't blame the actors for what happened in Revenge of The Sith.

Plenty of good actors in that film, hampered by a shitty script, and a director with no ability to draw decent performances from any of them.

Ian McDiarmid seemed to be enjoying himself, mind (a bit like Raul Julia in Street Fighter!).

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Lamont Cranston
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Joke

AT&T?

Wasn't there enough product placement for those in Empire Strike Back?

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BT Sport scores own goal with £897m Champions League footie rights deal

Lamont Cranston
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I don't subscribe to BT Vision,

but would like to extend my thanks to all those that do, for helping to get football away from free-to-air telly. If you could now persuade BT that Eastenders would be a worthwhile purchase...

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Microsoft advertises Surface, Excel with maths mistake

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Excel

"Saying simply change the column type to text is all well and good but someone has to realise there is a problem first."

Isn't that a bit like blaming the hammer, if you decide to use a hammer to paint your walls?

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Star Wars VII set for Xmas release. Ho, ho, ho... not THIS Christmas

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Oh noes...

Drop the kiddi-ness? Who do you think the primary audience for these films are?

They'd do better to make it more kid friendly - take away all the tedious political bollocks, the prequel trilogy is probably halfway entertaining (maybe not).

Disney know what they're doing, so it'll probably wind up like the last Iron Man film: a 2hr toy advert, with plenty of spectacle. Unlikely to win any Oscars, but a fine accompaniment to a bucket of popcorn.

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Alleged Peeping Tom claims First Amendment right to upskirt

Lamont Cranston
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Re: I don't get why they bother to even wear those small bikinis

Nudity is not bad, per se, but naked people always look better with something on, in my experience.

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Lamont Cranston
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@MrXavia

You could at least ask permission (retrospective, perhaps) after taking your picture of the drenched woman, then delete it if she's not particularly happy about it.

You grubby little herbert.

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Lamont Cranston
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Joke

Re: if a women ripped your trousers off on the tube

Chance'd be a fine thing.

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Lamont Cranston
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@jedit

My wife got groped on the tube, a few years back. She was quick enough in turning round to catch him in the act, foisting upon him the look that she normally reserves for unruly pupils. Much more effective than thumping him one.

Doubt I'd find it so amusing if it'd been anything more serious, mind.

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Lamont Cranston
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Joke

Having had the misfortune of walking around my home town during the height of summer,

I've decided that burqas should be mandatory, for both sexes.

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SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and Man ARE from CLAY

Lamont Cranston
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Re: No, it isn't

The ceramics room at my school was always covered in a layer of orange dust. It must have been the clay, as I don't remember my teacher being an eczema-afflicted, TOWIE reject.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Only Catholicism has scientific foundation... Only in England...

Clay is just wet dust, though.

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Groupon splurges $260m on Korean deals firm as cash bleed continues

Lamont Cranston
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Thumb Up

Kudos to Google.

My email feed has been much cleaner since they started filtering out all the marketing crap for me.

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Anonymous hacktivists' Million Mask March protest hits London

Lamont Cranston
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Meh

"Hey, Johhny! What are you rebelling against?"

I think I'd like the Anons a little more if they were wearing Marlon Brando masks. It'd be a little more honest.

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Lamont Cranston
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@Chamone IT

Things are only worth what people are prepared to pay.

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McDonalds ponders in-store 3D printing for Happy Meal toys

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

This'd spell and end to Happy Meal toys with moving parts, then?

It's pretty difficult to occupy a child with a statue.

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'Last EVER REAL Nokia' phone heads for Verizon, leaky pic-spurt reveals

Lamont Cranston
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@JahBless

I would hope that the presence of Microsoft in the phone OS market would drive its competitors to greater innovation. It'd be nice to think that Microsoft/Nokia are also innovating, in order to increase their desirability among consumers (pointless sniping aside, I'd expect that they are).

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Google's Nexus 5: Best smartphone bang for your buck. There, we said it

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No, it's NOT Half-Life 3 – it's Valve's lean, mean STEAM MACHINE

Lamont Cranston
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"it's a gamepad of course useability will be total crap"

Cheer up, grandad - we're not all crippled by arthritis.

I agree with you about finding buttons by touch, though. I'm quite fond of dual thumbsticks, too.

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Aussie bloke hacks way to top of music charts with MIDI-based tunes

Lamont Cranston
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"fake tunes"

Pretty meaningless statement. Isn't it more noteworthy that he set up ghost accounts to listen to his tracks, and thus make them popular? The fact that the tunes were utter gash, is neither here nor there - most of the charts is utter gash, to me, but someone likes it (unless they're all ghosts too?).

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'It seems that the OSes and devices are based on the Devil'

Lamont Cranston
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Toss off the devil?

And there was I, trying to learn the fiddle - the manual dexterity won't go to waste, at least.

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Reboot the formula: F1 and FIFA tweaked for another year

Lamont Cranston
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"The computer's cheating!"

I regularly invoked this cry, way back when I was playing on the Intellivision (and then on the Spectrum/MegaDrive/etc.). Incidentally, football games peaked on the Intellivision, so EA/FIFA can take a hike.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Witch woman

"A wizard did it."

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Unsupervised Brit kids are meeting STRANGERS from the INTERNET

Lamont Cranston
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"Like fix the sink"

That's some special interest porn, right there.

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