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* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1214 posts • joined 27 Apr 2010

English Defence League website 'defaced, pwned' by hacktivists

Lamont Cranston
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Re: So what are the lefties among you going to do when the diversity takes over Britain?

Hahahahaha! Good one.

Is this a masterful troll, or just too much fail for the internet to handle?

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Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

Re: Get what they deserve.

Glad to see someone has downvoted you, here. People like you, who would seek to protect a frightened child from a racist mob, make me sick.

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Star Wars VII: The Disney Movie signs Toy Story III script genius

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Don't enjoy watching Ewoks beating on Stormtroopers?

Congratulations, you are now too old to enjoy RotJ, and can move on to something more age appropriate. Deal with it, internet.

The prequels turned out shit because Lucas was trying to flog a kids film to adults (kids don't want to watch senate debates, adults don't want to watch Jar Jar, no one, adult or child, wanted to hear about midichlorians). I'd expect Disney to be smarter than that (I don't hear anyone complaining about watching the latest Pixar/Marvel film with their kids), so my hopes are cautiously high.

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Amazon Kindle Fire HD 7in Android tablet review

Lamont Cranston
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Wanting to read a book, one handed,

makes someone a wanker? What if they just want to enjoy a cup of tea and/or biscuit, with their read?

An e-reader shouldn't be less convenient than an actual book, should it?

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Bond's Walther PPK goes digital: A civilized gun updated

Lamont Cranston
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Pint

@jack

I'd give it up, if I were you: the US and the UK really are separated by a lot more than just our common language (and a lot of fish).

Here in the UK, the only people supposed to have guns are the police, the armed services, and gamekeepers (maybe sports shooters, also). Anyone else who has a gun has probably got it because they want to (or are about to) go and shoot something or someone up (gang violence, "going postal", etc.).

Over in the USA, you have plenty of people who are not in the law, armed service, or gamekeeping professions, who also own guns. Therefore, extrapolating from experience, you must all be a load of trigger happy loonies, just itching for some meth addict to break down your door and "make your day". What's the alternative - do you all *really* enjoy shooting at paper targets?

Enjoy your hobby - I added the beer icon to show no hard feelings, but beer's another thing that we probably won't agree on!

P.S. guns as tools? Unless the job at hand is killing/wounding, you've probably picked the wrong tool for the job.

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Windows 8: An awful lot of change for a single release

Lamont Cranston
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@GrahamsTenPenneth

It's been a couple of years since I last had Mint running on my desktop machine (wanted to see if it was worth ditching the pre-installed Vista). Has Linux (any distro) got to the point that plugging in, say, a camera or MP3 player, will prompt the system to find its own drivers and then let you browse around whatever you've just plugged in? It took me quite an effort to get even the most basic functionality from my Zen when plugged in to Mint (it was about the same when plugged into my Win2k laptop), which put me off recommending Linux to anyone else (I'd like to put my dad on it, as it's just too easy for him to riddle his Vista desktop with endless malware), but I just can't do it (endless phonecalls would ensue).

I've currently got Puppy running on an old laptop, and something as simple as disabling the lid close/sleep button eludes me still. If an enthusiastic amateur like myself can't get off Windows, what hope the general population?

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Four in ten Brits have had to change all their passwords to foil crooks

Lamont Cranston
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Perception.

Perceived risks of driving without prior instruction:

- backing the car into a wall (expensive)

- running someone over (litigious)

- dying in a fiery wreck (fatal)

Perceived risks of surfing the internet without prior instruction:

- accidental discovery of boobs (arousing)

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Education Secretary Gove: Tim Berners-Lee 'created the INTERNET'

Lamont Cranston
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So near, yet so far.

Gove's still a bellend, but I do have to give him some (grudging) credit for recognising that ICT teaching in this country leaves a lot to be desired.

Still, asking facebook to get involved? Will my kids homework come back with a "Like" on it?

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Climate sceptic? You're probably a 'Birther', don't vaccinate your kids

Lamont Cranston
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@ bill 36

Still probably more reliable than wind power!

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UK.gov's web filth block plan: Last chance to speak your brains

Lamont Cranston
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Well, I'm winning no friends here!

@thegrouch

No, I think the point is that they will not filter your content if you ask them not to (the "fap" comment was a flippant remark, but well done for focusing on that).

@AC

I don't know, will they use this on CRBs, etc.? I would assume not, as a desire to look at the internet without filters =/= a criminal conviction for purchasing child porn.

@Thorne

The slippery slope? Certainly bears consideration but, given that we already have Step 2 (Cleanfeed), maybe this is all stable doors and bolting horses?

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: @Sir Runcible @AC:@Lamont (this is getting horribly nested, isn't it?)

Bit late to worry about "them" having your name, address, etc. Internet access is a paid for service, not an inalienable human right.

I really don't think this counts as censorship, as 1) they tell you that they're doing it and 2) they stop doing it if you ask them to. Opt-in or opt-out, it remains optional.

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Lamont Cranston
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ISP (on behalf of the state): Would you like us to impose our morals on your lifestyle?

Internet User: No, thank you very much.

ISP (...): OK, we'll turn off the porn filter for your internet feed.

Internet User: *fap, fap, fap*

Damn you, nanny state!

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Lamont Cranston
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@Sir Runcible

Really? Is it so terribly arduous to have to tick a box to indicate your preference for web-filtering, when applying for a contract with your chosen ISP?

Manually deleting all of the "adult" channels from my Freeview EPG, everytime the box gets re-tuned, is a pain in the arse, so I'd rather they had to be added in by those who want them, but is this really worth my while getting upset about? No, not really.

If they're going to have a filter, it'll have to be either opt-in or opt-out. Doesn't bother me either way, but I'd take a wild guess that many of those who want it, don't really know what it is, while those who don't want it are probably very aware of what it is, so having those who don't want it ask to have it turned off, is probably the method that most reliably produces the desired results (assuming that the desired result is a false sense of security among those who want the filter on, I suppose).

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Acer Iconia Tab A700 32GB HD Android tablet review

Lamont Cranston
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@N13L5

I know this is a tech site, but I still think that referencing a popular game as a benchmark for 3D graphic capabilities, is more meaningful than rattling off the technical specifications of the GPU. Knowing that web-pages scroll smoothly, and HD films can be played back is all well and good, but a thorough test of a device should (in my mind, at least) throw something graphically demanding at the device - afterall, whether or not you want to play games, some of the intended market will.

Google Play says that my Desire S will run Dead Trigger but, in practice, it's jerky, and has terrible controls. A real-world test gives you something beyond the raw specs, which is imformative, even if you've no interest in the task used for the test.

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Viewsonic 22in Android 'tablet' hands-on review

Lamont Cranston
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Opera is the best browser!

Oh, sorry, wrong generic comment.

iPhone users are all sheep!

No, that's not right either...

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Lamont Cranston
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@ThomH

Aye, slap a TV tuner (Freeview HD+, please) in there, and I might want one. Actually, if I has HDMI, I suppose I could just plug in any old PVR, but that's not as tidy.

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Worker dumps council staff's private data in supermarket skip

Lamont Cranston
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Thumb Up

@Phil O'Sophical

Oh, so very much this.

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Fanboi beats 'e-trespassing' rap after using GPS to find stolen iPad

Lamont Cranston
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"Violent crimes, then you get publicly flogged"

Other than that last bit, this AC is spot on.

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Build a bonkers home cinema

Lamont Cranston
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Joke

It's all very nice but,

unless it can rise up from a small box at the end of the bed, I don't care. Cribs FTW!

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Ten movies inspired by video games

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Only a passing mention

Mortal Kombat is a cult classic, surely? Very quotable, and great fun. The sequel belongs on a list of crap films, though.

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The problem with wireless: all those effin' wires

Lamont Cranston
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Pint

Excellent.

Another article that really doesn't have anything to say ("I own a lot of gadgets, and they all need electricity to run"). I really don't know how you do it, but I do know that this is exactly the sort of journalism that the Grauniad fills its G2 supplement with, so at least you can advance your career out of this niche.

On the other hand, I did enjoy the picture from Snake On A Plane, so there's that, at least.

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Apple patents shopping lists

Lamont Cranston
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Want to save money on your weekly shop?

Either a) get an iphone, get this app, scan all your previous purchases and obtain a map to all the relevant shops, or b) save money right now by not spending £30pcm on a mobile contract.

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British boffin builds cool maser after argument with wife

Lamont Cranston
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I'm confused.

Did he use it to vapourise his wife? Or just storm down to his lab thinking "I'm sooooo pissed off right now, I don't care if this thing does destroy the earth"?

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First, Google goggles - now the world gets self-censoring specs

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "everyone else as a nude Kelly Brook"

Your "morning afters" are going to suck.

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Designer punked fanbois with asymmetric screw

Lamont Cranston
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FAIL

As the rumour is distanced from its source,

so it becomes treated as fact? Is the concept of an urban legend totally unknown to these people?

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Brits obey mobile ads, says mobile ad biz

Lamont Cranston
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@El Presidente

Geocities. It was like an internet bootcamp, where we learn't to read yellow text on a purple background, whilst dozens of animated gifs all clamoured for our attention.

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Kidney-for-iPad fanboi sues after illness strikes

Lamont Cranston
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FAIL

@theodore

Why? Because then it would become legal to coerce the poor into parting with their organs, that's why. Didn't you read the story?

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Don't get sued or cuffed on Twitter: Read these top 10 pitfalls

Lamont Cranston
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Fortunately, Twitter isn't used by any 'reasonable person'

and thus anything should be permitted.

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Chinese man's six-ton balls save lives

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Actually, this isn't quite as mad as it seems

A floating, underwater science lab?

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Ouya Android games console to ship April 2013

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Most boxes connected to a TV are of a similar shape...

Given what's in the box, does this thing really need to be much bigger than phone? Mind you, there's no scale on the picture, so maybe it's really no bigger than a large d6.

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Doctor Who gets one-off special to mark Time Lord's 50th year on telly

Lamont Cranston
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It'll be Bill Nighy.

It always bloody is.

Come to think of it, this might work.

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Humax YouView DTR-T1000 IPTV Freeview PVR review

Lamont Cranston
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Re: I'm holding out for...

That'll be a small PC, with a couple of tuners, then. I gave up waiting, and decided to make do with whatever catch-up services I can get through my devices (TV, PVR, Blu-ray are all networked, and from different manufactures), and the joyless experience of DLNA.

I would be quite upset, but it's only telly.

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Bauernfrühstück v bacon sarnie

Lamont Cranston
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FAIL

Oh dear.

None of your test audience were hungover - you don't make the bacon sarnie whilst still drinking beer, you make it in the morning*, to replenish your lost nutrients.

With this in mind, cooking up a Bauernfrühstück whilst hungover looks like too much hard work, so the bacon sarnie wins with ease.

@disgruntled yank: I think you know it as Steak Sauce, for some reason.

*better still, someone else makes it and presents it to you, and that way you'll know she's a keeper.

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Girls tricked by STEAMY message: Webcam spyware student jailed

Lamont Cranston
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@ Aaron Em

If I took my car to the mechanic, and he advised that I could best fix it by, say, making sure I washed it when I was naked, I might not be too keen to take his advice.

None of these women deserved to have their privacy invaded by the pervert in question, but a little common sense (or paying attention at school) might have saved them a lot of trouble.

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Why British TV drama is crap – and why this matters to tech firms

Lamont Cranston
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Re: We make better comedy equivalents of dramas

I can't believe I upvoted this! New Tricks is like nails on a blackboard, to me, but I like how you contrast it with Waking The Dead.

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Lamont Cranston
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No, no, no!

"stretching the audience, knowing that they have DVD and TiVO to allow you to replay the important bits "

This is what books are for. Alan Moore described one of the advantages of books over films as the fact that you can skip back to a previous page and reread it knowing what happens later, allowing you to grasp the import of certain scenes. This is a good thing, but it's certainly not what I want from my TV. TV (like film) should be passive - if I have to skip back on various scenes to make sense of the diaglogue, or follow the plot, that means it hasn't be written properly. Good TV should be easy to follow, and still make sense if you miss an episode - if you can't manage that, write it as a film instead, to be watched in one go.

I gave up on The Wire after the first two episodes, as it was tedious, plodding shite. TV is supposed to entertain, not be a chore. Yeah, I've dissed The Wire, so I'm clearly a massive thicko - downvote me till I burn.

I do agree that most British telly is toss, though.

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Lego ponders Portal pack

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Is it really that hard to build a weighted companion cube out of lego?

Kids today, eh? Tsk.

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Reg hack bumps into Cockfighter

Lamont Cranston
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Re: We should be thankful ... (@ Lamont Cranston )

Context is everything, Mephistro. The BBFC tend to take that into account.

Of course, the film was put to the BBFC quite some time a go - who am I to say that they wouldn't pass it if it were resubmitted now?

By the same token, all my Steven Seagal DVDs (don't judge me) have been cut to ribbons - they'd more than likely pass uncut, now, but there's not much money to be made in resubmitting them, so it's not going to happen. Less "oppresive state censorship" than the whims of the market, I'm afraid.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: We should be thankful ... (@ AC 22:17)

If the comments about Roger Corman making additions to the film are correct, then surely the film is banned because it features actual cockfighting (regardless of the director's intent)? OK, the original ban may have come about because cockfighting=naughty (much like we couldn't watch Bruce Lee waving nunchucks about), but I would imagine that the ban has remained in force because what's on display is reality, not fantasy.

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Panasonic Eluga DL1 waterproof Android

Lamont Cranston
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Pint

If you'd used a pint,

you could have completely submerged the phone. Not a very thorough test.

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Rifle-waving Yank's premature detonation ruins city's big bang

Lamont Cranston
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Re: My BS detector's going off.

It's a well known fact that anything combustible will explode if it by a bullet. Likewise, any car that's driven over a cliff will burst into flames before it hits the ground.

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NHS trust spunks £67m on e-patient records, Twitter, Facebook

Lamont Cranston
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Social media?

I can't wait to use facebook to "check in" at the clap clinic.

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Google Chrome serves up only emptiness, for many users

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

This wouldn't happen

if people were using Opera. Marvellous browser, although it does cause one to become a pompous arse.

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War On Standby: Do the figures actually stack up?

Lamont Cranston
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Thumb Up

Excellent work.

I used to go to sleep with the radio on, which would drive my dad up the wall. When I got my own telly, I got a drubbing down for leaving it on standby - not only was this a massive waste of his electricity, but I should have been unplugging it from the wall, too, lest a "lightning strike" cause it to explode.

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Android Firefox: Screaming, awesome, you'll go blind etc

Lamont Cranston
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That's nice,

but I already have Opera on my phone (twice, for some reason), so I can't see that I'd want Firefox.

Not really a productive comment, but it's been mentioned that this is a browser article, and pro-Opera comments are required.

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Speedball 2 Brutal Deluxe

Lamont Cranston
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Re: sensi

Sensi was (is? I have it for PS2) good, but it's no Speedball 2. Few things beat the feeling of an extended powerslide, down the entire pitch, shoving all comers out of your way, and then flattening the goalie, before chucking the ball into the hole in the wall at point blank range. Or cocking it up at the last minute, and having the ball ping off the wall.

This, and the Chaos Engine are quite possibly the greatest games ever made.

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Ten... celeb headphones

Lamont Cranston
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Joke

Dr. Dre Beats Solo?

Is "putting my name to some high-priced headphones" the new "spanking the monkey"?

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Kensington Virtuoso Mini collapsible stylus

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "slightly longer than a bookie’s pencil"

An IKEA pencil?

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Google brings HD sneezing pandas to UK: But why?

Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

£200 to replicate the functionality of both my TV and my Blu-ray player

(and most likely my PVR, when I get round to replacing my now defunct BT box)? Ooh, yes please!

Sarcasm aside, if this had a decent interface (both my TV and Blu-ray player have fairly clunky interfaces, and sit firmly in the "watch a YouTube video once and never touch it again" camp) AND PVR capability, I might be interested. But it doesn't even have a tuner, so far as I can make out, so what's the bloody point?

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Huawei Ascend G300 budget Android

Lamont Cranston
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Shame this wasn't out

a couple of months ago - I'd have probably bought one. Then again, Vodaphone - blech!

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