* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1293 posts • joined 27 Apr 2010

Barnes & Noble to sling their Nook - report

Lamont Cranston
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Re: What???!

It's more like letting outside companies in to run the rides, but continuing to maintain the amusement park and selling hot-dogs (etc.) to the punters, which they can then take on the rides vomit down their fronts. Yeah, this analogy fell apart pretty fast.

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Dell takes aim at iPad, uncloaks enterprise-level Win8 tablet

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Wise words?

Red rag to a bull, was my first thought.

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Time to rid ourselves of the tech channel zombies

Lamont Cranston
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I've upvoted for the comments about local independents,

but couldn't disagree more about browsing on Amazon: with a decent sized, real bookshop, I used to love to wander in, either with or without an idea of what I wanted, mooch about, look over a few books, and either come out with something familiar, or a complete surprise. Online just doesn't work this way, as you need to know what you want before you start, and is thus a much less enjoyable experience (even if it is more efficient!).

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Lamont Cranston
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re: TIGHT!

Divorced, probably.

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Rogue Squadron: Unit of X-wings Kickstarts in response to Death Star

Lamont Cranston
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Re: on a serious point...

Or, this just proves that people will throw money at anything, if it says Star Wars on it. George Lucas has known this for a long time.

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Tennessee bloke quits job over satanic wage slip

Lamont Cranston
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"The company ought to find a way to cut him some slack."

The company have clearly found a way to make him go away. Good for them.

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Playmobil punts bank-heist set to wide-eyed kiddies

Lamont Cranston
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My friends and I were forever playing "Cops & Robbers" when we were young,

and it never did us any harm.

That said, all my money is tied up in the Cayman Islands, and I've been on the run for the last 15 years...

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FUD flies as Raytheon reveals social media analysis tool

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "99.999999% of the internet couldn't give a dead dingo's kidney"

Big Data must care, or why else would they be harvesting all this data?

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'Why can't we say we're happy to be RIMmed on a daily basis?'

Lamont Cranston
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Should I be worried about my "pancreas levels"?

I wasn't before, but maybe I've been neglecting them?

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Sick software nasty uses child abuse pics to extort infected victims

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Thought experiment

No.

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Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Re: Paedoware

Can I upvote all of your post, but make an exception for the part where you advocate hanging people?

Hmm, I was going for "against capital punishment," but have managed "paedo-sympathiser," instead.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: What about UK? (@aliceklaar)

That's a very disturbing quote, as it seems to require the accused to prove a negative (that the file in question was sent "without any prior request"), which is impossible.

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We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

Lamont Cranston
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That drawing

looks just any mobile phone shop, yet I've never been in one and wondered where the Genius Bar(tm) was.

What a load of wank.

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Customer service rep fired for writing game that mocks callers

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "You do the math."

I want to upvote you more than once.

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Symantec: Don't blame us for New York Times hack

Lamont Cranston
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I do hope Symantec will be updating all their marketing blurb

to include something like "this product will not protect your PC from malicious code". Most AV vendors claim the opposite, so it'd be refreshingly honest of them, at least.

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Axed staffers hijack HMV Twitter account: 'We're tweeting LIVE from HR'

Lamont Cranston
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Teenagers on the minimum wage?

Yeah, how dare they be less than enthused?

I always found HMV shop staff to be helpful and enthusiastic, if a little odd looking (when I worked in retail, turning up with a bad dye-job got me sent home!).

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Lamont Cranston
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"the company you dearly love"

I had a little chuckle at that, too.

I feel for anyone who is losing their job, but HMV was crap*, and should have gone/changed a long time ago.

*I doubt any of this is the fault of those being fired.

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Reg Hardware Awards 2012: The Winners...

Lamont Cranston
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Trollface

If I were a more cynical man,

I'd think that Apple getting the Rusty Dodo was pure flamebait for the Forums.

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Wii-U boat torpedoes Nintendo's '¥20bn profit' into ¥20bn loss

Lamont Cranston
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Re: I own one!

I want one, now! Why aren't Nintendo selling the console like this? Backward compatibility is a plus (despite what Sony seem to think), and helping the little one to play Mario is a brilliant idea.

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Lamont Cranston
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@AC, Posted Wed 30th Jan, 16:49

I've had to downvote this, but only because you described the Wiimote as a "decent pointing device" - it really isn't: any game that involves pointing the Wiimote at the screen is about as rewarding as playing pin the tail on the donkey.

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Lamont Cranston
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Probably a bit early to write off the Wii-U, just yet,

but I don't really see a compelling reason to replace my existing Wii, so I'd expect the Wii-U sales to be rather sluggish (not seen much marketing, either).

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Netbooks were a GOOD thing and we threw them under a bus

Lamont Cranston
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Couldn't you just charge your phones overnight, too?

Other than that, I agree wholeheartedly - netbooks were a good thing, and I don't really want to see them go.

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Oh, those crazy Frenchies: Facebook faces family photo tax in France

Lamont Cranston
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"You tax apple growers when they sell their apples, not when they take them from the tree."

Pretty sure that the apple growers wouldn't be able to move all their apples to Switzerland (or wherever it is that facebook chooses to do business from) before selling them.

Besides which, wages (and Income Tax) would constitute collecting revenue on picking the apples.

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Holy classic car auction, Batman! They sold THE Batmobile!

Lamont Cranston
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I always wondered what was missing from the Reg forums.

Turns out it was sweaty handed bankers. Who knew?

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BT's shock new wheeze: Make phone calls from smartphones

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Gosh, what a lot of fuss this has caused!

I get my landline and broadband from BT, so this ought to be quite a useful service when combined with the free WiFi that I get bundled in with the other services. If not (and I've yet to even setup the WiFi access), well, I've not lost anything, have I?

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Vibrator guru on pleasure tech: 'Of all the places you'd want a quality UI....'

Lamont Cranston
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FAIL

Ah, yes,

convince people that they need to buy your expensive gadget to acomplish what anyone with access to a couple of willing bodies can acomplish for free.

Would anyone be interested in this bottle of snake oil?

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White House rejects Death Star petition: '$850qn too pricey'

Lamont Cranston
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@dssf

Tell me you didn't just mix Trek and Wars?

You did? Oh man...

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Mozilla to Adobe: PDFs don't need no more steenking plugins

Lamont Cranston
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I've probably still got the floppy disks for Word 6,

I'll post them over, if you like!

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Lamont Cranston
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Quite.

I could never really come up with an answer to "Why don't they send it as a Word document? Everyone has Word!" Other than the fact the "everyone" had a pirate copy of Word.

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New tool jailbreaks Microsoft Surface slabs in 20 SECONDS

Lamont Cranston
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Coat

Ativ4zaggin

I hope it comes with Beats Audio.

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Forget 3D: 13,000 UK homes still watch TV in black and white

Lamont Cranston
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@ cornz 1

So, happy to watch BBC content, but resent paying for it? Did the reg commentards come up with the term "freetard" just for you?

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Lamont Cranston
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@ Simon Round

You forgot to blame Labour for the increase in living costs/wage stagnation.

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Is this possibly the worst broadband in the world?

Lamont Cranston
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Are the signs in/around Wormshill still subjected

to the witty vandalism that I so fondly remember from my youth?

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Time has already run out for smart watches

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Mens watches are jewelery

No they're not, they're a device for telling the time (and gradually falling out of favour, to be replaced by the ubiquitous mobile phone).

Would anyone who agrees with the statement that the watch "epitomizes prestige and is seen as an extension of the user’s personality and lifestyle/fashion sophistication" kindly step into the nearest meat grinder? Anyone who views their phone/car/TV/house/wife the same way, can form an orderly queue behind them.

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Raise a beer: Titans of tech fill out 'Worst CEOs' list

Lamont Cranston
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I like wearing suits, although the opportunity rarely presents itself.

But people who regularly wear a suit to the office? They're generally untrustworthy wankers, in my opinion, probably more concerned with outward appearance, rather than what is actually going on. A shirt and a tie should suffice.

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Review: HP ENVY x2 Windows 8 convertible

Lamont Cranston
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Batteries:

When the battery began running low, I simply re-attached it to the keyboard base - which contains its own battery - and continued working.

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Drop that can of sweet pop and grab a coffee - for your sanity's sake

Lamont Cranston
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Re: What else is there?

To be fair, Diet Coke is nicer tasting than regular Coke, owing to it being sweeter (I think this is the same reason that the Pepsi Challenge always resulted in the participants preferring Pepsi over Coke*).

I shan't be defending the OPs stance on tea/coffee, however.

*only true in small quantities, all types of cola taste pretty rough after you've had a cupful.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: But... Brawndo has got what your body craves...

If you find coffee to be too bitter, you should try a cup of Kopi Luwak, as it's not bitter in the slightest, yet still tastes like coffee.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: @Fibbles

I have a full time job and three children so, at the end of any day, I'll take whatever I can get - be it coffee, wine, or sex - and the quality is not always my top concern!

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Lamont Cranston
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Thanks, Ace.

Close enough, byt "even instant coffee is preferable to bad tea" was what I was going for.

A quick test for everyone: next time you're near a hot drinks machine, get a cup each of tea and coffee from it - both will be awful, naturally, but only one will taste like it's actively trying to ruin your day.

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Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Re: "more alike than we are different"

I'll drink to that, jake! I'm still not measuring the capacity of my mug, though.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Surely...

The choice between a limescalescale-encrusted kettle, and a boiler (which is only ever hot, not boiling) make a decent cup of tea an impossibility at the office. No tea is preferable to bad tea.

Instant coffee, however, is a little like sex or wine, in so much as that even though it is bad, it is usually good enough.

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Lamont Cranston
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"12oz cups"?

I drink out of a mug.

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5,000 UK pubs get free Wi-Fi... and they're not even all in London

Lamont Cranston
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Pint

Here's your pint,

but I can't use your idea, owing to the fact that I'm scrupulously honest.

BTW, it's not a real pint - sorry.

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Lamont Cranston
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Free as in "complimentary for paying customers"

or free as in "give us all your personal details, so that we might pass them on to all of our advertising partners"?

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Just what the world needs: Android in the rice cooker

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Re: Takes

I have a rice cooker at home and, whilst it's certainly no quicker than using the hob, the results are better - no more stodgy, overcooked rice, no pan boiling over, pre-marked lines so I don't need to measure the water, and no need for a timer.

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Potty-mouthed Watson supercomputer needed filth filter

Lamont Cranston
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Have you not learnt anything from sci-fi?

Don't give the machine a reason to hate us!

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Review: Dell XPS 12 Windows 8 tablet-cum-Ultrabook

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Re: I've no use for this,

Retro all the way! If I had my old Amiga lying around, I'd happily rip the innards out and hide my RPi inside - having a keyboard sitting under my telly is already making me smile, having an ugly, beige keyboard, with a large backside, could only make my smile wider.

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Dad hires online assassins to slay game-obsessed son

Lamont Cranston
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Re: I do it myself

What happens when he's able to kick your arse and tea-bag your (virtual) corpse? Does this end with him putting out his own eyes?

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Mega-res telly demand to boom, say ball-gazers

Lamont Cranston
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If you've got a TV big enough for this to make any difference,

then I look forward to seeing your house on "Cribs".

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