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* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1191 posts • joined 27 Apr 2010

Schmidt 'very proud' of Google's tiny tax bill: 'It's called capitalism'

Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

Re: Good ol' Google

"Google doesn't drive [etc.]" I hope they don't employ anybody. Fuck society, eh?

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Lamont Cranston
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@ Cynical Observer

As a salaried employee (of the state), I am allowed to claim expenses. However, when I spend that money (e.g. on petrol, car maintenance, train tickets), I am paying tax (VAT, fuel duty). At the end of the year, HMRC look at how much I've claimed, then reduce my personal allowance, ensuring that I pay tax on my expenses again. I'm certainly not making a profit out of this.

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Lamont Cranston
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I like this arguement.

Complaint: "Duck Duck Go is shit. I used it to search for something, and it didn't find it."

Response: "No, Duck Duck Go is fine. You should have gone to the relevant website and found it for yourself. Why would you need a search engine?"

Bravo!

I'm still using Google, simply because Google is the best there is at what it does (even if what it does ain't very nice).

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Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Re: It is *all* the politicians' fault.

Well said, Ken. Sadly, who are the politicians more likely to listen to - the wealthy, with their party donations and media influence, or the voting public?

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Max Headroom style fake celebrity avatar plan seeks Kickfunding

Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

Max Headroom was just Matt Frewer in latex?

Oh, man, I feel such a fool...

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Ten badass brainy computers from science fiction

Lamont Cranston
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WOPR was hardly a badass, though!

With regards to Deep Thought, I don't know where that picture came from, as there's never been a film adaptation of that.

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Japan Airlines to serve KFC on Christmas flights

Lamont Cranston
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Re: It just looks so pathetic

5 servings of KFC? No thanks. 1 is already 1 too many.

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Nintendo Wii U Review

Lamont Cranston
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Does this have any "media centre" functionality?

Given that it's not going for the same market as the PS3/Xbox360, it'd be quite nice to be able to use it to stream media off the network, or play DVDs. I've recently persuaded an old Wii to do this, and I cannot for the life of me see why Nintendo didn't enable this "out of the box" - didn't Sony do quite well out trumpeting the PS2/3's DVD/Blu-ray playback abilities?

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Belgian finds missus was born a MAN after 19 YEARS of marriage

Lamont Cranston
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IT Angle

Re: Why we're uppity.

Indeed. Stories of domestic violence don't really belong in the "And finally..." section of The Reg that is Bootnotes. There's nothing funny about this story (and there's no IT angle!).

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Lamont Cranston
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@ Robert Grant: Here:

"I pushed her against the wall and said: Now I know the truth. Are you a man? She then announced that she was born as a boy and that she had been operated on. She was now a woman, and so she did not need to tell me about her past as a man. My world collapsed. That evening came to blows. The police came."

Granted, "came to blows" doesn't specify who was beating up who, but "I pushed her against the wall" suggests that the husband started it.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Keeping Secrets

Quite. Still, smacking your wife about is a line that should never be crossed, so any sympathy he might have garnered for being "deceived" for 19 years, goes right out the window.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: @Michelle Knight @11:45Z

I would like to second this. Bravo.

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Lamont Cranston
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Thanks, Mako.

What was once a whimsical recounting of one man's sexual misadventures, will now be forever heard as the disturbing story of a would-be-rapist, stalking around bars in search of his next victim. Thanks a lot.

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YouView: 'Public service catch-up telly should belong to us alone'

Lamont Cranston
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YouView probably would have worked really well

as branding, with a defined set of standards, as FreeView does. Bringing it to market years after world+dog has numerous ways of accessing catch-up TV, then demanding to be the exclusive carrier of the service is not just a slap in the face for the viewing public (already got an STB, net-connected Blu-ray, and SmartTV? Tough, now you need a new box), but also an admission of their utter failure to do anything remotely useful in anything resembling a timely fashion. Wankers.

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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

Lamont Cranston
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I prefer to relax and enjoy someone else's.

(sorry)

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Lamont Cranston
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Totally flat?

Like Christopher Lloyd at the end of Roger Rabbit? You sicko.

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Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Everyone needs

a hobby.

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Iran's Photoshop FAIL: 'New drone' actually Japanese university bird

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Those pesky Japanese STEALING from Iran AGAIN!

I'm just glad THAT Charles 9 is here, as SOMEONE needs to take this STORY seriously (and WANTONLY abuse the SHIFT-key).

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Sony surges past 70 million PlayStation 3 sales

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Shame...

Why let it gather dust when you can just hand it down? My in-laws bought a Wii - once they'd got bored with Bowling, they gave it to us for the kids to use. Free console (result) and small children really aren't that bothered about cutting edge technology (so long as I tune out their pleas for me to buy them and X-box with Kinect!).

Nintendo Wii: shit for grown-ups (Wii-motes? Ugh!), but great for kids, so it's no wonder it sold so well.

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Boss wrong to demote man over anti-gay-marriage Facebook post

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Interesting this one...

Plenty of (straight) non-believers get married in church. I don't believe in god, but I find that to be grotesquely disrespectful, but the ministers involved seem to be satisfied by the couples involved simply attending a couple of sunday services.

Unlike the dingbat in the story, I wouldn't draw the conclusion that gay = non-believer, so it really shouldn't be that hard to understand why a same-sex couple might want their union blessed in their place of worship.

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Deloitte in the saddle at Comet, seeking stability - and a buyer

Lamont Cranston
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@Ed 11

From the correct angle, all administrators look alike. Any angle, in fact.

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Disney plans three Lucasfilm flicks EVERY YEAR

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "Textbooks that feature Yoda..."

Such things already exist, and have done for some time! My son's teacher liked to incorporate Star Wars into his lessons, when practical, but was asked by the Head to stop, as the school decided that it was inappropriate to promote "War" to 6-year olds.

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Amazon Kindle Paperwhite review

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Re: Shameless Amazon advert?

I wondered what the privatisation of libraries would look like. £49 per year for membership, and e-books only? Yeah, that sounds great...

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How can UK TV product placement do better, asks report

Lamont Cranston
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Re: cartoons as toy adverts etc

Quite. I suppose it depends on your definition of "modern" if the author wishes to consider this a new phenomenon (or maybe they just grew up without a TV - oh, the horror, the horror!).

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Lawyer sues Microsoft rather than slot an SD card into his Surface

Lamont Cranston
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Re: He may be stupid, doesn't mean he doesn't have a point.

Very well put, sir.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: My god

Any decent pub will top the beer off for you, on request. I doubt Microsoft are going to be popping round to pour him a few more GB.

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Word wonks insist GIFs are really JIFs

Lamont Cranston
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Timely.

I hear geocities is the webhost of choice, too.

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English Defence League website 'defaced, pwned' by hacktivists

Lamont Cranston
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Re: So what are the lefties among you going to do when the diversity takes over Britain?

Hahahahaha! Good one.

Is this a masterful troll, or just too much fail for the internet to handle?

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Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

Re: Get what they deserve.

Glad to see someone has downvoted you, here. People like you, who would seek to protect a frightened child from a racist mob, make me sick.

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Star Wars VII: The Disney Movie signs Toy Story III script genius

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Don't enjoy watching Ewoks beating on Stormtroopers?

Congratulations, you are now too old to enjoy RotJ, and can move on to something more age appropriate. Deal with it, internet.

The prequels turned out shit because Lucas was trying to flog a kids film to adults (kids don't want to watch senate debates, adults don't want to watch Jar Jar, no one, adult or child, wanted to hear about midichlorians). I'd expect Disney to be smarter than that (I don't hear anyone complaining about watching the latest Pixar/Marvel film with their kids), so my hopes are cautiously high.

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Amazon Kindle Fire HD 7in Android tablet review

Lamont Cranston
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Wanting to read a book, one handed,

makes someone a wanker? What if they just want to enjoy a cup of tea and/or biscuit, with their read?

An e-reader shouldn't be less convenient than an actual book, should it?

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Bond's Walther PPK goes digital: A civilized gun updated

Lamont Cranston
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Pint

@jack

I'd give it up, if I were you: the US and the UK really are separated by a lot more than just our common language (and a lot of fish).

Here in the UK, the only people supposed to have guns are the police, the armed services, and gamekeepers (maybe sports shooters, also). Anyone else who has a gun has probably got it because they want to (or are about to) go and shoot something or someone up (gang violence, "going postal", etc.).

Over in the USA, you have plenty of people who are not in the law, armed service, or gamekeeping professions, who also own guns. Therefore, extrapolating from experience, you must all be a load of trigger happy loonies, just itching for some meth addict to break down your door and "make your day". What's the alternative - do you all *really* enjoy shooting at paper targets?

Enjoy your hobby - I added the beer icon to show no hard feelings, but beer's another thing that we probably won't agree on!

P.S. guns as tools? Unless the job at hand is killing/wounding, you've probably picked the wrong tool for the job.

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Windows 8: An awful lot of change for a single release

Lamont Cranston
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@GrahamsTenPenneth

It's been a couple of years since I last had Mint running on my desktop machine (wanted to see if it was worth ditching the pre-installed Vista). Has Linux (any distro) got to the point that plugging in, say, a camera or MP3 player, will prompt the system to find its own drivers and then let you browse around whatever you've just plugged in? It took me quite an effort to get even the most basic functionality from my Zen when plugged in to Mint (it was about the same when plugged into my Win2k laptop), which put me off recommending Linux to anyone else (I'd like to put my dad on it, as it's just too easy for him to riddle his Vista desktop with endless malware), but I just can't do it (endless phonecalls would ensue).

I've currently got Puppy running on an old laptop, and something as simple as disabling the lid close/sleep button eludes me still. If an enthusiastic amateur like myself can't get off Windows, what hope the general population?

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Four in ten Brits have had to change all their passwords to foil crooks

Lamont Cranston
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Perception.

Perceived risks of driving without prior instruction:

- backing the car into a wall (expensive)

- running someone over (litigious)

- dying in a fiery wreck (fatal)

Perceived risks of surfing the internet without prior instruction:

- accidental discovery of boobs (arousing)

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Education Secretary Gove: Tim Berners-Lee 'created the INTERNET'

Lamont Cranston
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So near, yet so far.

Gove's still a bellend, but I do have to give him some (grudging) credit for recognising that ICT teaching in this country leaves a lot to be desired.

Still, asking facebook to get involved? Will my kids homework come back with a "Like" on it?

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Climate sceptic? You're probably a 'Birther', don't vaccinate your kids

Lamont Cranston
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@ bill 36

Still probably more reliable than wind power!

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UK.gov's web filth block plan: Last chance to speak your brains

Lamont Cranston
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Well, I'm winning no friends here!

@thegrouch

No, I think the point is that they will not filter your content if you ask them not to (the "fap" comment was a flippant remark, but well done for focusing on that).

@AC

I don't know, will they use this on CRBs, etc.? I would assume not, as a desire to look at the internet without filters =/= a criminal conviction for purchasing child porn.

@Thorne

The slippery slope? Certainly bears consideration but, given that we already have Step 2 (Cleanfeed), maybe this is all stable doors and bolting horses?

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: @Sir Runcible @AC:@Lamont (this is getting horribly nested, isn't it?)

Bit late to worry about "them" having your name, address, etc. Internet access is a paid for service, not an inalienable human right.

I really don't think this counts as censorship, as 1) they tell you that they're doing it and 2) they stop doing it if you ask them to. Opt-in or opt-out, it remains optional.

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Lamont Cranston
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ISP (on behalf of the state): Would you like us to impose our morals on your lifestyle?

Internet User: No, thank you very much.

ISP (...): OK, we'll turn off the porn filter for your internet feed.

Internet User: *fap, fap, fap*

Damn you, nanny state!

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Lamont Cranston
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@Sir Runcible

Really? Is it so terribly arduous to have to tick a box to indicate your preference for web-filtering, when applying for a contract with your chosen ISP?

Manually deleting all of the "adult" channels from my Freeview EPG, everytime the box gets re-tuned, is a pain in the arse, so I'd rather they had to be added in by those who want them, but is this really worth my while getting upset about? No, not really.

If they're going to have a filter, it'll have to be either opt-in or opt-out. Doesn't bother me either way, but I'd take a wild guess that many of those who want it, don't really know what it is, while those who don't want it are probably very aware of what it is, so having those who don't want it ask to have it turned off, is probably the method that most reliably produces the desired results (assuming that the desired result is a false sense of security among those who want the filter on, I suppose).

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Acer Iconia Tab A700 32GB HD Android tablet review

Lamont Cranston
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@N13L5

I know this is a tech site, but I still think that referencing a popular game as a benchmark for 3D graphic capabilities, is more meaningful than rattling off the technical specifications of the GPU. Knowing that web-pages scroll smoothly, and HD films can be played back is all well and good, but a thorough test of a device should (in my mind, at least) throw something graphically demanding at the device - afterall, whether or not you want to play games, some of the intended market will.

Google Play says that my Desire S will run Dead Trigger but, in practice, it's jerky, and has terrible controls. A real-world test gives you something beyond the raw specs, which is imformative, even if you've no interest in the task used for the test.

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Viewsonic 22in Android 'tablet' hands-on review

Lamont Cranston
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Opera is the best browser!

Oh, sorry, wrong generic comment.

iPhone users are all sheep!

No, that's not right either...

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Lamont Cranston
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@ThomH

Aye, slap a TV tuner (Freeview HD+, please) in there, and I might want one. Actually, if I has HDMI, I suppose I could just plug in any old PVR, but that's not as tidy.

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Worker dumps council staff's private data in supermarket skip

Lamont Cranston
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Thumb Up

@Phil O'Sophical

Oh, so very much this.

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Fanboi beats 'e-trespassing' rap after using GPS to find stolen iPad

Lamont Cranston
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"Violent crimes, then you get publicly flogged"

Other than that last bit, this AC is spot on.

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Build a bonkers home cinema

Lamont Cranston
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Joke

It's all very nice but,

unless it can rise up from a small box at the end of the bed, I don't care. Cribs FTW!

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Ten movies inspired by video games

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Only a passing mention

Mortal Kombat is a cult classic, surely? Very quotable, and great fun. The sequel belongs on a list of crap films, though.

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The problem with wireless: all those effin' wires

Lamont Cranston
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Pint

Excellent.

Another article that really doesn't have anything to say ("I own a lot of gadgets, and they all need electricity to run"). I really don't know how you do it, but I do know that this is exactly the sort of journalism that the Grauniad fills its G2 supplement with, so at least you can advance your career out of this niche.

On the other hand, I did enjoy the picture from Snake On A Plane, so there's that, at least.

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Apple patents shopping lists

Lamont Cranston
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Want to save money on your weekly shop?

Either a) get an iphone, get this app, scan all your previous purchases and obtain a map to all the relevant shops, or b) save money right now by not spending £30pcm on a mobile contract.

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British boffin builds cool maser after argument with wife

Lamont Cranston
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I'm confused.

Did he use it to vapourise his wife? Or just storm down to his lab thinking "I'm sooooo pissed off right now, I don't care if this thing does destroy the earth"?

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