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* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1191 posts • joined 27 Apr 2010

Snappers binned, mobe-armed hacks drafted at Chicago paper

Lamont Cranston
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I think you're doing L!ve TV a disservice.

They also had News Bunny, Britiain's Bounciest Weather (with Rusty Goffe), and, umm, Lunchbox Volleyball (a staple of my late night viewing, as a student). Better than BBCThree, anyway.

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WW II U-boat attacks prompt new US response

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "Time to invoke Godwin's law"

"As a Register Forum discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Eadon approaches 1."

He's the BOOGEYMAN of our age.

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Soylent Corporation prepares to DEFEAT FOOD

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Between this

and the meat-slurry enriched ice-cream reported earlier, it's clearly not a good week for food.

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Is the next-gen console war already One?

Lamont Cranston
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"watch Game of Thrones on Sky"

with a load of pointless waffle plastered all over the screen, utterly obscuring what it was that you were trying to watch in the first place. We all love an enhanced experience, don't we?

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Startup hires 'cyborg' Mann for Google Glass–killer project

Lamont Cranston
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@Trustme

I'm not going to argue the case for omnipresent CCTV and such, but I have a feeling that it goes beyond hoping that those being filmed will fall over, so that the video can be uploaded to YouTube or posted to You've Been Framed.

People might be willing to accept the CCTV cameras, but why are you - yes, you with the smartphone - what are YOU looking at?

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EU boffins in plan for 'more nutritious' horsemeat ice cream

Lamont Cranston
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Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

is a truly laudable aim (and the reason we have black puddings and haggis - and who would want to go without them?). That said, and as much as I love offal, this really does sound disgusting.

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Nvidia opens pre-orders for handheld Shield console three days early

Lamont Cranston
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I always thought that the Xperia Play

was an interesting idea, and this looks to be an extension of that (but primarily, or solely, a games machine, rather than a phone).

The thing that holds back Android games (in my view, at least) if the terrible controls - touch screen only is rubbish for anything beyond puzzlers like Angry Birds - so this is the obvious solution. Whether people want an Android machine for gaming, when the DS is already so dominant in the handheld sector, remains to be seen (my gut says that they don't, and this will go the way of the Lynx).

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'Untidy' Shoreditch just CONFUSES American techies - Olympic hub team

Lamont Cranston
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Re: I can feel the holistic synergy

Yes, but have you harnessed that synergy?

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IT bloke publishes comprehensive maps of CALL CENTRE menu HELL

Lamont Cranston
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Re: This will be useful...

I forget who it was, but I had cause to phone a company who's hold music would be occassionally interrupted to let me know that I was "[n]th in the queue". All well and good, but I soon found out that the longest wait was when I was "next in the queue", suggesting that the whole thing was just an artificial countdown.

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Lamont Cranston
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Thumbs up for my energy provider, on this issue (Ovo Energy),

as they prominently display both an 0800 and a regualr (geographic) number, on all their materials (and the welcome message on the 0800 reminds you of this, again). I do wish more companies would do this.

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Lamont Cranston
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*click* ... *dial tone* ... *scream*

I see you've been calling BT.

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Half of youngsters would swap PRIVACY for... cheaper insurance

Lamont Cranston
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"privacy is only a problem for the last generation"

Or perhaps it's just the fact that car insurance for those in the 18-24 bracket is so ludicrously expensive, that they'd agree to anything that might bring it down a bit?

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BlackBerry Messenger unleashed: Look out Twitter and Facebook

Lamont Cranston
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Headmaster

Based on that final screenshot,

a world without punctuation is not a world in which I wish to live, so I'll pass on BBM. Thanks for the offer, though.

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Yahoo! May! Buy! Tumblr! For! One! BEELLION! Bucks!

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "tumblr"? What's that?

If only Yahoo! had a search engine, then you could use that to look up "tumblr". Oh well...

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Microsoft conceals job ad in Bing homepage

Lamont Cranston
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I had a "shipping experience"

whilst reading some slash-fiction. Not an experience that I'm keen to repeat.

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Prankster 'Superhero' takes on robot traffic warden AND WINS

Lamont Cranston
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Go

I got fined by one of these companies, using ANPR in place of

actual tickets, or human interaction, claiming that I'd failed to pay their parking charge. Pretty stupid process as, unless you remember to get a ticket from the machine, you can't prove that you paid.

Got it overturned, in the end, but I fully endorse any prankster who wants to give these idiots the run around.

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Movie review: Star Trek Into Darkness

Lamont Cranston
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"he's the bad guy...because he's British"

To pick just two examples, Die Hard and The Avengers would both have been considerably less interesting if the bad guys were re-cast. To pick another two: Superman 2 and Beverly Hills Cop.

The British get the bad guy roles in Hollywood films because a) the British are the traditional enemy of the Americans (the War of Independence* was a pretty big deal) and b) British actors are better, whether they be giving a finely nuanced performance, heavy with pathos, or just chewing up the scenery at every available opportunity.

As much as I enjoyed the last Star Trek film, it's Cumberpatch that I'm most looking forward to watching, in this one.

*Not sure why they hate the French so much, though.

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German govt DUMPS 170 NEW PCs riddled with Conficker

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Shall we chalk that one up to another Windows security FAIL?

I may have downvoted you for missing the point, but I do admire your dedication.

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Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

@ Vlad

I'd like to read your post as a satire, but experience tells me that it's far nearer the truth than any of us would like to admit.

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'Ultimate nerd chick’ prompts C64 clone cancellation

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Hmm

So, some pre-loaded memory cards, and a C64-shaped case into which to slip the Pi - if there was sufficient interest in his original idea, wouldn't that transfer over to this?

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Fighting Fantasy and fantastic fights in tights

Lamont Cranston
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OK, I'm already to consider the "indie origins and price"

of The Cat Lady. What are they?

Whilst I'm asking stupid questions, does anyone still play point'n'click adventures? Have they moved on past "go everywhere, say everything to everybody and try giving them everything in your inventory"?

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Not cool, Adobe: Give the Ninite guys a job, not the middle finger

Lamont Cranston
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Thumb Up

Hail he, who has come from the skies

to deliver us from the terrors of the deadites!

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Pirates scoff at games dev sim's in-game piracy lesson

Lamont Cranston
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@LilCricket

Nice try, but you DIDN'T USE ENOUGH CAPITALS. Also, I don't agree with you.

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Vietnamese madam cuffed after advertising girls on Facebook

Lamont Cranston
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At least someone

is making money from facebook.

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Another blow for Flash as Unity gaming engine kills support

Lamont Cranston
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@mutatedwombat

I don't think that "dynamic lighting, shadows, real time physics" are much of a concern to the casual gaming crowd.

I play on Kongregate, and tend to find that the games that use Unity are not the games that interest me.

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Virgin Media: SO SORRY we fined your dead dad £10 for unpaid bill

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Way over the top

Tsk. You'll never get your 15 minutes of fame if you insist on behaving like a grown up.

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Lamont Cranston
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I don't think much of the company that bills me for my water consumption.

What should I do - take my custom elsewhere?

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Review: Disgo 8400G 7.9in Android tablet

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

Maybe all reviews should be like this?

"What's it like? No idea, but judging by the box, I award a score of 47%"

Think of the time saved! With all these resources freed up from this "journalism" nonsense, LOHAN could be on the moon, by now.

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iPhone too heavy? Volkswagen brings out motorised ride-on dock

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Good grief.

I don't normally get car sick, but now have a great urge to throw up.

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Shut the CANUCK up! Sony offers $1m to hacked gamers

Lamont Cranston
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So, as compensation for an outage of their online game service,

users are invited to buy 3 more games on their online game service?

I will miss physical media, when it goes.

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Sonic the Hedgehog

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Super Sonic (@Jared Hunt)

Damn, my childhood feels uttely wasted, now.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Super Sonic

No analogue sticks on the Megadrive, so he either ran of the edge, or he didn't.

What was the point of a invincible, super-speedy character, who could pretty much have just plowed through any of the early levels (just look at him, he should be the most awesome videogame character of all time!), if he only turns up once the precision jumps/disappearing platforms turn up?

All those years, and I'm still bitter...

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Not enough Tails love

He's indestructable, and he can fly (with or without his plane) - so why is only the sidekick?

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Super Sonic

Ugh, Super Sonic was a massive pain in the arse! All the gems, and then 100 rings transforms you, as I remember it, meaning that he was wont to show up in the later levels, usually when trying to navigate up the side of Robotniks plane (rocket, airship? I forget). His general inability to stop (he didn't touch the floor when he moved!), saw him regularly plunging off the side to his doom.

Stupid yellow prick.

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Anons torn over naming 'n' shaming of 17yo's gang-rape suspects

Lamont Cranston
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@moiety

Having the police investigate all crimes to an acceptable standard, is indeed a laudable aim, but who put Anonymous in charge of determining the acceptable standard?

Protests outside the station, or online, strike me as an entirely appropriate response to a perceived insufficient investigation, but releasing the identities of the suspects would be uttetly irresponsible.

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Malwarebytes declares Windows 'malicious', nukes 1,000s of PCs

Lamont Cranston
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Testing updates prior to release

really does seem to have fallen out of fashion, in the software industry. Anyone know why, or is there just a general view that it's better to be seen to be busy, rather than actually being busy behind the scenes?

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Researcher hacks aircraft controls with Android smartphone

Lamont Cranston
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It's called SIMON,

and it can reset a plane's navigation coordinates? That's Die Hard 2 and 3 covered, then. Does it "schieß dem Fenster", for the hat-trick?

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Another 170,000 Freeview homes to be freed from reality TV - possibly

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

^ hung by my own typo.

The shame.

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Lamont Cranston
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@David Cantrell

Won't listen to a peace of furniture, but will take advice from Annihilator, it seems.

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Oklahoma woman cuffed with loaded .22 in pork holster

Lamont Cranston
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Coat

A Loaded magazine?

Didn't realise that was still in print.

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Microsoft preps UPDATE EVERYTHING patch batch

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "Linux avoids the need for AV" @Lamont Cranston

@Eadon

I'm thinking that open source makes it easier than ever to find the security holes - am I wrong (I'm not a programmer, hacker, nor a security researcher, so I honestly don't know)?

TBH, I was thinking more of the potential rewards that motivate virus writing - if you're after credit card details, surely you'll have more luck putting keyloggers on Win/OSX machines, due to their higher user numbers (and those users being on average less tech savvy)?

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: "Linux avoids the need for AV"

Isn't "security through obscurity" eventually going to run out?

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News Corp challenges iPad with $299 education tablet

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Re: $99 contract?

Schools seem to love signing up to bullshit IT contracts. There are some signs that they might finally be waking up, but it'll be a long while before no-one thinks that forking out taxpayer money for old rope is a good idea.

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Bacon sarnies can kill: Official

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Right.

I'd rather die happy with a younger woman in my arms. Each to their own.

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Reg readers brew up the ultimate cuppa

Lamont Cranston
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Re: proper tea

How many jiggawatts does his kettle need?

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: @JDX (whisky & sex)

Are you some kind of lightweight?

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Inside Lord Sugar's 'you're fired' YouView bust-up with TV baron

Lamont Cranston
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Ha!

Probably because Sky own all the rights to all of the Sport and Films, and then charge you for the privilege of letting them beam adverts into your home (ie. stuff you want, but don't want to pay for), whilst Desmond's 5 owns the rights to, umm, CSI and, er, Robson Greene's fishing rod, and doesn't charge you to watch (ie. stuff you don't want, but watch because you don't have to pay). All this makes Desmond seem positively benevolent, when compared with Murdoch.

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Strategic SIEGE ROBOTS defeated by 'heavily intoxicated' man, 62

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Rimfire?

Sounds pretty unpleasant, to me.

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Barnes & Noble to sling their Nook - report

Lamont Cranston
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Re: What???!

It's more like letting outside companies in to run the rides, but continuing to maintain the amusement park and selling hot-dogs (etc.) to the punters, which they can then take on the rides vomit down their fronts. Yeah, this analogy fell apart pretty fast.

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Dell takes aim at iPad, uncloaks enterprise-level Win8 tablet

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Wise words?

Red rag to a bull, was my first thought.

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