* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1304 posts • joined 27 Apr 2010

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W*nkers of the world unite to SAVE THE PLANET one jerk-off at a time

Lamont Cranston
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Re: wankuh?

"Wankah", would be more appropriate. Watch something like Deep Rising, and see how Jason Flemyng is shouting it.

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Live a day in the life of Jennifer Lawrence: Tell Reddit to delete your stolen nude selfies

Lamont Cranston
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Re: To the editors...

I'm really not a fan of the big pictures that have started appearing above the headlines on The Register, but if all of them could be pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, I think I'd be quite happy.

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Euro broadcast industry still in a fug over that 4K-ing UHD telly

Lamont Cranston
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FAIL

If "Ultra HD" doesn't go the same way as 3D, I'll eat my hat.

HD has hardly been a massive hit, has it? DVD sales are probably in decline, thanks to streaming, but I'll bet they're more robust than Blu-Ray sales.

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FOCUS! 7680 x 4320 notebook and fondleslab screens are coming

Lamont Cranston
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Re: 8K screens are actually nice for low res content too

But not of 576.

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Drinking games: Tapper 1983, this Bud's for you...

Lamont Cranston
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"THIS BUDS FOR YOU"

I can't see any rose bushes.

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Hey kids! If you vote Facebook will give you EXTRA LIKES*

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Our son is 18

And if all the first time voters think that way, your voting never will make any difference. Thank him from me, won't you, when the incumbent gets returned, and we face another 5 years of the current shower?

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Brightstar deal means Post Office mobile network could be a thing

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Stamp it out

And what's the deal with airline food, eh?

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EE data network goes TITSUP* after mystery firewall problem

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Three - customer service outstanding

The customer retentions (or whatever they're called) operator at Three called me a liar when I called to cancel my contract. Didn't stack up well against the people employed by Orange, who have never been anything less than polite, whether I've been leaving or joining their network.

That said, their high street outlets seem to be staffed with duplicitous sharks, unlike the local O2 store, where the lad was more than happy to let me leave without buying anything.

Swings and roundabouts, I suppose.

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Saudi Arabia to flog man 1,000 times for insulting religion on Facebook

Lamont Cranston
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FAIL

Re: "feminazi" strikes such a tender nerve

"feminazi" doesn't so much "strike a tender nerve", more it serves as a handy marker that the speaker doesn't really have an opinion worth listening to.

Believing that men and women should occupy an equal position in society, does not make one a misandrist. Nor does the condemnation of sexual violence.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Luther. Basically the ISIS guy of back then.

Good thing Superman was always around to stop him, then.

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FREE EBOOKS: Apple falls into line with EU refund laws

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "a lot of people can finish an ebook in two weeks"

I thought that the point of this comment in the article was that it wasn't remarkable?

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Reviewed: LittleBigPlanet 3, Lara Croft's latest raid and more

Lamont Cranston
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It's probably a little too late in the franchise

to shift Ms. Croft into a more realistic figure.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Not a comics fan?

Totally Awsome-sauce!

Brave & The Bold does owe a lot to the West-era Batman, but watching Bats don a set of brass knuckless and then sock some goons in the jaw, does shift the tone away from the purely camp. Weird show.

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How much for a wrist job? A tenner normally, but for this one, over $30k

Lamont Cranston
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Re: With clear heels

I hope they've got goldfish in them.

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Hack hijacks electric skateboards, dumps hipsters in the gutter

Lamont Cranston
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Is anyone going to pass judgement on an adult

whose main mode of transport is a skateboard?

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NY premiere of The Interview cancelled after hackers' terrorist threats

Lamont Cranston
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Down with this sort of thing.

^ correct way to protest

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Sonic BOOM: 10 blast-tastic soundbars

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Uninformed comments

Since getting rid of the previous 5.1 setup, I realised that my TV sounds sufficient, as it is.

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The Great Unwatched: BBC hails glorious digital future for Three

Lamont Cranston
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Re: F1

Three hours of cars driving round in circles, serving as background noise for your dad to fall asleep to after Sunday dinner. Thrilling stuff.

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Blu-ray region locks popped by hardware hacker

Lamont Cranston
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Good for him.

Appropriate choice of film, too (even if it is rubbish).

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Sick of the 'criminal' lies about pie? Lobby the government HERE

Lamont Cranston
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"Exemptions will apply for shepherds, cottage and fish pies."

So, a pie must have a pastry top and a pastry base, except when it doesn't? Quality legislation, that'll make.

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Holy sh*t! Amsterdam man in pop-up public toilet shock horror

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Daft design

As stated above, they'll rise up at a predetermined hour, and sink below once the need has passed, rather than appearing and disappearing on demand. There's a simialr scheme operating in some British towns, except that, rather than rising from the floor, they're dropped off from the back of a truck, and collected up at the end of the night.

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Yotaphone 2: The two-faced pocket-stroker with '100 hours' batt life

Lamont Cranston
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I really like this idea.

Here's hoping they come up with a case that can protect against the usual bumps, but leave the rear screen readable.

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#Gamergate folk load flamethrower, roast own feet over GTA V 'ban'

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Sigh.

This is the last time I steal a joke from Charlie Brooker.

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: Sigh.

You forget to mention that playing PacMan doesn't make you run around darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music.

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Legendary Brit physicist Stephen Hawking gets full Intel comms refresh

Lamont Cranston
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Joke

Re: He's remarkable in other ways.

I blame those NHS death panels, that leave disabled people on mountainsides, to be devoured by wolves.

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Another lick of Lollipop: Google updates latest Android to 5.0.1

Lamont Cranston
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Re: 2012 Nexus models to stay at KitKat perrmanently?

I've yet to see a notification for it on my 2012 Nexus 7. Given what I've read about it, I'm not that bothered, tbh (quite tempted to get it back onto Jelly Bean, or find something whizzy on xda-developers, although it's been a little more stable, of late, so might just save the hassle and leave it as is).

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UK slaps 25 per cent 'Google Tax' on tech multinationals

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Apple and Amazon... intangible?

Apple Turnover? Only taxed if you buy it warm, I believe.

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Brit smut slingers shafted by UK censors' stiff new stance

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Just to throw in a subject for debate...

Yes, I rather suspect that it does, and we should probably be improving our sex education in schools, to help young people deal with these issues. What I don't agree with, is this crazy attempt to outlaw anything that isn't "vanilla" sex, on film.

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Lamont Cranston
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Re: "held on by BluTac"

A loose internal connection meant that my +3 (I know, and I'm sorry) was fixed by jamming a Rubik's Snake between the Multiface and (I think) the video cable.

After I sold it to my more technically-minded friend, he popped the case off and soldered the connection back together. I still think that folding the Snake to exactly the right shape was the more satisfying solution.

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Gangnam Style BREAKS YouTube

Lamont Cranston
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"did nothing else whilst viewing"

You call jumping around like a hyperactive idiot "nothing"?

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Trousers down for six of the best affordable Androids

Lamont Cranston
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Re: 8GB internal memory?

Quite. My other half got the Desire 500, and it was pretty much out of storage from the moment it was switched on. A nice phone, otherwise.

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I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations

Lamont Cranston
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Police boxes had a telephone in them.

Doctor Who seems to use his quite a lot, in the new series.

Double Fail.

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Mysterious BEAM outside London Googleplex ZAPPED

Lamont Cranston
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A system that delivers electrical shocks to anyone filming with their phone held in portrait?

We need more of these things.

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UK cops: Give us ONE journo's phone records. Vodafone: Take the WHOLE damn database!

Lamont Cranston
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Vodaphone are incompetent, the police are corrupt.

Business as usual, then?

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MI6 oversight report on Lee Rigby murder: US web giants offer 'safe haven for TERRORISM'

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Ban Father Ted

Careful now.

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Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Not far off

Knowing how to type the correct search terms into Google, can easily get you branded as some sort of "computer wizard".

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Download alert: Nearly ALL top 100 Android, iOS paid apps hacked

Lamont Cranston
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Paid apps?

How quaint.

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Bang! You're dead. Who gets your email, iTunes and Facebook?

Lamont Cranston
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Re: why bother

"Bad news: your uncle has died. But, cheer up, he's left you his laptop..."

Aw, that was sweet of him. *fires up laptop, opens browser, is mentally scarred for life*

I think that's why.

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Shoot to THRILL: Assassin's Creed: Unity and Halo: Master Chief Collection

Lamont Cranston
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I cannot read anything about HALO,

without wondering what Master Chef has got to do with it. Is Greg Wallace inside that green armour?

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FALL of the MACHINES: How to KILL the Google KARATE BOT, by our expert

Lamont Cranston
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He can probably

be plugged in to the cigarette lighter.

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UK PM Cameron says Internet must not 'be an ungoverned space'

Lamont Cranston
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the left think "Democracy is fine, as long as we're in charge".

The trouble with democracy, is that it lets politicians get into positions of power.

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Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Nintendo rule:

Said the actress to the bishop.

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Bloke, 26, accused of running drug souk Silk Road 2.0 cuffed by Feds

Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

Re: People often become addicted to substances to which they can not afford to be addicted.

Quite right. A good thing that we've long since outlawed sugar, alcohol, and nicotine.

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Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Who the hell is going to buy...

If you can get past all the negatives (of which there are many, so you really can't), who among us doesn't want to act like Picard, and be able to bark questions at the walls? Hook it up to a 3D printer, and you could at least ask it to form a cup to hold your tea, earl-grey, hot!

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One hard ghoulie: 1985's Ghosts 'n Goblins

Lamont Cranston
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My parents would never let me have more than a few coppers for the arcades,

so I'd look on whistfully as others played Ghost'n'Goblins, Operation Wulf, or Outrun, as I pushed my coppers into the 2p push machine.

Once I'd bought myself a PlayStation (must have been 20 years old *sigh*) a Capcom compilation was one of my first purchases. Ghosts'n'Goblins (and Ghouls'n'Ghosts)! But, wait - it's bastard hard and I can barely get past the first level. *crushing disappointment*

Nostalgia is best left in the past. I had a lot more fun playing Smash TV (with infinite continues), but that quickly got boring as it rendered it all too easy. Surely there is a middle ground?

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Million Mask March: Anonymous' London Guy Fawkes protest a damp squib

Lamont Cranston
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Shame.

It's about time we put a Catholic back on the throne, too.

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Rise of the machines: Silicon Valley hardware store to deploy ROBOTS for customer service

Lamont Cranston
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Unexpected item in bagging area.

How do they cope when I child attempts to hitch a ride on their back, or tip them over?

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Hey, YouTube lovers! How about you pay us, we start paying for STUFF? - Google

Lamont Cranston
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Re: On overpaid football players

I want to downvote this, on the grounds that footballers are overpaid, but what you've written is all true.

I think professional football is a load of rubbish, and thus throw precisely none of my disposable income at it, but plenty of people feel different, and jacking up the gate prices doesn't seem to put them off.

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MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer

Lamont Cranston
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WTF?

Re: Rubbish science

Why would you post this?

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KRAKKOOOM! Space Station supply mission in PODULE PRANG EXPLOSION CHAOS

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Won't anyone think of the scientists?!

Can't they get insurance cover for this sort of thing?

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