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* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1248 posts • joined 27 Apr 2010

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Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Who is the target audience?

You're spot on, here - Doctor Who is a kids' show, always has been, always will be. It's going wrong because it's trying, and failing, to appeal to adults, rendering it incomprehensible to children (quoth my youngest: "THIS IS BORING!").

I think it might also be suffering becuase the stories are crushed into 35/40 minutes, and thus have a hurried resolution - I don't necessarily want a return to the 4 cliffhangers + 1 resolution, of my childhood, but the decent stories of the past 2 episodes have had very rushed conclusions ("it's a flag, he's a soldier, I'll salute him and he'll fall apart" / "I'll leap out of my tardis, brandish my magic wand*, and they'll fall apart"), so maybe it ought to be split over 2 nights (Fri/Sat or Sat/Sun)? It's in the wrong timeslot, anyway - it should come before Strictly!

*about time the Sonic Screwdriver went, too - occassionally well used, mostly just a crutch for lazy writing

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Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Really?

Much as this case seems to scream "I'm an idiot, please give me money", I'm always slightly surprised that Lynx haven't been done for false advertising - it's ludicrous to claim that smelling like a teenage boy will make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

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Is living with Dolby Atmos worth the faff?

Lamont Cranston
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So,

what noise does a football make as it flies through the air?

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HBO shocks US pay TV world: We're down with OTT. Netflix says, 'Gee'

Lamont Cranston
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@Ledswinger

It's about time we implemented The Great British Bake Off, the way Norman Tebbit wanted a Cricket Test - if you're shown the Bake Off and don't enjoy it, you're promptly deported to somewhere far less British.

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Same old iPad? NO. The new 'soft SIMs' are BIG NEWS

Lamont Cranston
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I read the article, and thought "what a good idea!"

Then I read the comments, and realised that it is a terrible idea.

Still, would be nice to do away with SIMs, entirely.

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Watersports-friendly e-reader: Kobo's Aura H2O is literary when wet

Lamont Cranston
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If the touchscreen packs up in the wet,

does it have physical buttons, for page turning purposes?

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Will.i.am gets CUFFED as he announces his new wristjob, the PULS

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Bling bling

About time Flava Flav got into the wearable tech market. I can see it now...

The flavWatch redifines the concept of the watch, as it is suspended from the users neck. It also emphaises its form, by being much larger than competitors' devices. Rather than incorporating WiFi, 4G, or fitness monitoring, it is a single function device - it tells you the time, upside-down.

Yeah, boieee!

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Aboard the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP, there's a Mobe and a Slab and a TELLYBOX

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Philip K. Dick

I ordered my Nexus 6 from John Lewis. Good thing they have such a good returns policy, as I was shocked to find that it wasn't a Replicant.

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Forget passwords, let's use SELFIES, says Obama's cyber tsar

Lamont Cranston
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FAIL

"Your face has expired, and must be changed"

What if I need to authenticate in the dark?

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Radiohead(ache): BBC wants dead duck tech in sexy new mobes

Lamont Cranston
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Re: The state is the failure

IP is not the solution to replace FM. Anyone can have FM for a one off, minimum cost, and it'll work pretty much anywhere. Not so IP.

DAB isn't the solution, either, mind.

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I didn't invent Bitcoin! Send Bitcoin to help me fight this slur – Dorian Nakamoto

Lamont Cranston
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Joke

I didn't invent the Pound Sterling.

Granted, no one is saying that I did, but they might, so please send me as much Pound Sterling as you can afford, so that I can keep a legal team on retainer.

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Lights off, nappies on! It's Alien: Isolation and The Evil Within

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Best Alien game I've ever played

Although Doom/Aliens becomes a lot less scary when you can pop in a cheat code and shotgun/chainsaw/punch everything to a messy death!

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Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express

Lamont Cranston
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These reviews are just about spot-on (unless we want to quibble details).

This week's Who was the best of the current series, to date. Plenty of "hiding behind the sofa", from my brood, and, whilst the story didn't make a huge heap of sense, it was quite fun (the 66 second countdowns were a good source of tension).

The whole "I teleported everyone to the Tardis, then took them home while you were sleeping" device was a bit cheap, but I can forgive that, as Doctor Who is supposed to be cheap! What really let the whole thing down was Clara not leaving. She has a ready made happy ending (Rose and Amy both got tragic send-offs, we don't have to have another one), and everyone is sick of her - she was Matt Smith's Doctor's companion, and that story is done, so just let her go and have the new Doctor pick an appropriate companion. Even Mel wasn't this grating.

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WOMEN, your 'SUPERPOWER' is ... NOT asking for a RAISE: Satya Nadella

Lamont Cranston
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Re: re: Not as easy-peasy as it may seem at first.

@Pierre

Unless employers aren't sure what they're hiring people for, recognition and performance measuring shouldn't be all that difficult - appraisals can be a pain in the arse, but they're not really as arduous as we all think. I don't think experience isn't relevant to remuneration, rather it's taken into account during the recuitment phase.

Maybe I'm just lucky to be working in the public sector, where we have clearly defined (and published) pay scales, and tend to progress up them in an orderly fashion?

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Lamont Cranston
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@ A Twig

No, if the effort, challenges and responsibilities are going to be very different, I'd set this out in the job descriptions, and set the two positions at different points on the pay scale. They may start at the same company, at the same time, working the same number of hours, and both do a "good job," but they would not be working the same job. It might be as simple as paying a higher hourly rate for the unsociable hours of the evening shift.

I'm going to regret this when someone pulls out the relevant piece of legislation that shows my solution to be somehow illegal, but it's surely a fine principle?

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Lamont Cranston
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Boffin

re: Not as easy-peasy as it may seem at first.

It's a lot easier than your making it sound. Established pay-scales, and regular reviews to ensure that employees have the opportunity to progress up their pay-scales. 2 people, doing the same job, will be on the same pay-scale, at points determined by their respective experience/performance.

(Icon is sarcastic - this really isn't rocket science)

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Get NAS-ty: Reg puts claws to eight four-bay data dumpsters

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Or alternatively...

Using Openmediavault on a collection of reclaimed hardware (old tower PC, various hard-drives approaching end of life), here. Genuinely curious if there's much advantage to splashing out on a dedicated box, or saving the money to spend on better drives?

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Shift up, gran! Microsoft turns living room into AR game 'space'

Lamont Cranston
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I remember total immersion gaming, from my childhood.

We'd run around outside.

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UPGRADE your CHILDREN with KANO: All you need in one box

Lamont Cranston
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Thanks, ThomH - that's more like it!

And thanks to malfeasance, too, for the detail on the software..

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Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

I thought this was going to come with

the keyboard as a large case that the Pi was then fixed into, giving something resembling a BBC Micro, with the ports accessible round the back (remember when computers looked like computers?).

I'd promised my eldest one of these but the self-assembly element is gone, and he's already started learning Scratch at school, so I can't see the point, now. Shame. £100 seems a bit steep for a Pi+keyboard, too. Will they be offering the software seperately and, more importantly, is it any good?

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How much is Microsoft earning from its Android taxes again?

Lamont Cranston
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Ah, so I'm poor.

Ho hum.

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Lamont Cranston
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Xperia Z3 Compact

currently sells for the better part of £400 - did you mean to reference the Xperia E3 as Sony's budget model, or am I just poor?

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Revenge smut bullies who send 'grossly offensive' messages WILL be prosecuted

Lamont Cranston
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@silent_count

Children can't give consent to having explicit photos taken (because they're children, and are protected against this sort of thing by existing laws); adults can give that consent (because they're adults), but that does not equate to consenting to have those same photos splurged over the internet.

Nothing sexist in that.

Focus is being placed on women, I expect, because they're more likely to be victims of this sort of thing, but it wouldn't necessarily follow that this would be women-only legislation.

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Our Vultures peck at new Doctor Who: Exterminate or, er ... carrion?

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Michelle Gomez

I didn't think much of Green Wing, but The Book Group was great. Revealing her to be The Rani would be rather wonderful (if a tad predictable, I suppose).

If we're lucky, they'll have something special in store; if not, well, at least I'll be able to impress the kids by knowing more about the character than they do!

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Lamont Cranston
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I'd like to moan about how bad the current Doctor Who scripts are,

but they've probably always been that way. I've only noticed it post-relaunch, as I've been watching them as a grown-up, not a (easily pleased) child.

That said, they really ought to decide who the market is, as they seem to be slightly too difficult to follow for children (and now in too late a timeslot, for some reason), and slightly too crap for adults. Shame, really, as Capaldi and co. are doing their best with what they've been given.

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SHOW ME the MONEY: Payment code spied in Facebook Messenger

Lamont Cranston
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Re: It's things like this

It's always important to comment on articles like this, so that you can register your disinterest.

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Lamont Cranston
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Flame

Re: How to use the Facebook Messenger app

Excessive permissions seem to be the standard, but there's usually a good reason for having call access (making calls from the app, as has been mentioned above). I got more cross with the default behaviour of facebook messenger, where it splurts "chat heads" all over the screen, obscuring anything and everything. Shitty, shitty app that did not need to be a standalone entity.

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Take THAT, hated food! It's OVER, tedious chewing! Soylent strikes back with version 1.1

Lamont Cranston
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Facepalm

Re: Mixed up humans?

Gasp! What a faux-pas!

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Lamont Cranston
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Re: What Marketing Needs To Do Is...

Nigella would probably shove it up her nose.

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That PERSONAL DATA you give away for free to Facebook 'n' pals? It's worth at least £140

Lamont Cranston
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WTF?

I'm confused.

Are these prices that the social networks/ad agencies have put on personal data, or values that consumers have put on their own data?

The first set would have some meaning, the second set would be hot air.

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US Attorney Gen latest to roast Apple, Google mobe encryption

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Theresa May was playing the same card during yesterday's conference speach.

It's very important that we all give up any thoughts of privacy, so that she can protect us from the paedos and jihadis.

The politics of fear is alive and well.

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Microsoft WINDOWS 10: Seven ATE Nine. Or Eight did really

Lamont Cranston
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If there's any justice in the world,

they'd roll this out as a free upgrade to anyone who got Windows 8 bundled with their PC, and have a handy checkbox to switch off all the Metro crap.

And who is it that's going through this forum and downvoting every single post?

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Spammer uses innocent hacked blogs to punt NAKED PICS of JLaw, McKayla Maroney

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Am I the only one here...

I was shocked to read past the sub-head, and discover that this wasn't about Jude Law.

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WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Depends on the context of the incitement, surely?

I'd hate for the ends to be used to justify the means, but if he's the sort of dingbat who thinks tweeting pictures of his wang to party groupies is a good idea, it's probably best for us all that he be removed from government office.

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Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights

Lamont Cranston
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I'm reasonably certain that ID cards have died off,

in the UK, at least.

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Lumia rebrand begins: Nokia's new UK web home is Microsoft.com

Lamont Cranston
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"Microsoft Lumia XXX with Windows."

Windows is a bit misleading - maybe they should drop the brand all together, and launch Windows 9 as Microsoft Tiles?

And then relaunch Windows 7 as Tiles For Desktops, just to maintain the air of confusion.

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EE buys 58 Phones 4u stores for £2.5m after picking over carcass

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Re: "something more useful"

In the case of my town, that'd be dummy shop fronts, in an effort to make the town look less deserted than it actually is.

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'Kim Kardashian snaps naked selfies with a BLACKBERRY'. *Twitterati gasps*

Lamont Cranston
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Re: She's already released a sex tape.

"sex file" just doesn't sound right. Unless it involved David Duchovny, I suppose.

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Top Gear Tigers and Bingo Boilers: Farewell then, Phones4U

Lamont Cranston
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WTF?

Re: Targeted marketing..

If no one ever clicked on those ads, they wouldn't be there (and Google wouldn't be making all that money). But, they are there (and Google are raking it in), therefore: someone must be clicking.

Who are these people?

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Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Re: bollocks

Surely an understanding of the way someone sees themself is invaluable if you are trying to sell them a modile handset, which would more than likely be something the customer would use to reinforce their self image?

I can't believe I just came out in favour of marketing.

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WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups

Lamont Cranston
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Re: What the hell was that

I think someone has invented an app that will lead horny men to other horny men, on the off chance that one of them might be a woman.

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Microsoft staff brace for next round of layoffs – expected Thursday

Lamont Cranston
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Stop

Re: So why is Microsoft firing so many people?

No, REALLY, writing your posts in OCCASSIONAL caps makes you look like a MENTAL.

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First Irish boy band U2. Now Apple pushes ANOTHER thing into iPhones, iPods, iPads

Lamont Cranston
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Happy

At the risk of a) feeding the troll, and b) sounding like a shill,

the nice thing about Android is that I can "fiddlarse about" if I so choose, but it's not a requirement (unless you have a shitty handset - but even then, it's just a case of finding out how to remove all the shit that Samsung have preloaded it with).

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Microsoft buys Minecraft for $2.5bn. Notch: I'm getting the block outta here

Lamont Cranston
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I've not played Minecraft, so don't know what made it so good,

but if the creator is off with his big pile of cash, I doubt it'll stay good for much longer.

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THREE QUARTERS of Android mobes open to web page spy bug

Lamont Cranston
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Re: Why the Telcos?

Telcos and manufacturers should be required to cooperate, to ensure that users always have access to the most up-to-date OS (that their hardware can support). Still pie in the sky, but at least all the bases are covered!

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Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water

Lamont Cranston
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Re: This is a positive thing.

Much like CarphoneWarehouse, they were OK if you knew what you wanted

Me: "Can I have [handset] on [contract]?"

Them: "No, but you could look on our website."

Never got any pressure off of the salespeople in either CarphoneWarehouse or Phones4U. Stark contrast to the greasy little shits in the network shops (with the exception of the nice boy in one of the O2 stores), who all seemed to want to a) get me to upgrade to 4G, or b) convince me that a crappy handset was a good reason to stay with their network.

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Bloat-free, unlocked Moto X to be dubbed 'Pure Edition', says report

Lamont Cranston
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Thumb Up

I hope this sells well,

and that other manufacturers will take note, and reduce the amount of crap that they shovel onto our handsets.

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Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer

Lamont Cranston
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Unhappy

Can't say I was a huge fan of Phones4U,

but I'm less a fan of reduced consumer choice.

It was always clear that the networks resented their existence - the man in the Three shop advised me not to go to Phones4U, as they "wouldn't have tested all of their handsets on our network". Granted, the chap at Phones4U couldn't get me a deal that suited, but he was a lot less pushy than any sales drone from the network-owned shops, and didn't try to blind me with bullshit.

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BONEHEAD FANBOIS encamp outside Apple Stores

Lamont Cranston
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How do you pitch a tent on a pavement, anyway?

Maybe a stiff breeze will sort this problem out?

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Dodgy Norton update borks UNDEAD XP systems

Lamont Cranston
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Are Norton giving out updates for free, then?

Last time I checked, you needed to pay an annual subscription.

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