* Posts by Morten Ranulf Clausen

79 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Oct 2006

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World of Google zombies mistake news story for Facebook

Morten Ranulf Clausen
FAIL

What?

exit

quit

bye

q

^C

^Z

^D

AAAAAARRRR *slam*

Ubuntu's Karmic Koala bares fangs at Windows 7

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

As for working out of the box...

...I have just had an experience. Old box threw a wobbler and killed a disk dead, dead, dead. Sad, sad, sad. Doing it while backing up said disk and thereby scrunching the backup set too is just icing on the cake - plenty of backup survived and I could rebuild the machine in a day or so, I figured. New box arrived, destined for Windows-XP-hood. But guess what - XP Pro didn't recognize the NIC on the motherboard. No amount of badgering made it understand that yes, there's a NIC down there and it's perfectly capable of contacting the router for an IP address. Ubuntu did it right the first time. And everything else in the machine too. XP never quite got the hang of the old box either, with several pieces of hardware sporting yellow question marks in the device manager and no relief to be found anywhere. Not that I was missing anything (I'm not into gadgets so I'll survive not having a card reader, teevee card etc.), it was just a bit weird.

Now I know I've taken a few shots at Linux in the past for being not quite good enough, but even I have to admit that Ubuntu's nearly there. A few issues (mainly with off-mainstream software like VMWare Server (which sux - now using Sun VirtualBox instead, great little tool)) notwithstanding, it's doing a marvellous job. Now if just IBM could manage to get out Domino Designer and Admin clients for Linux I'd be happy never to see a Windows box again.

Ubuntu One is pants though. Overpriced and underperforming. Where's the ability to link in backup software, for example? And it's not as if the incentive isn't there, 2 Gb is going to disappear in a flash once backups start rolling in and people will then probably be happy to dump a load of money on the service. Try again. Please. It's a good idea, just do it right next time around.

North Carolina targets WTF licence plates

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

IMHO...

...they should STFU.

Alright already, I'll BO...

US hackette ponders jub-powered iPod

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Stop

Oh dear...

Now my brain has Jabberwocky stuck in a loop. Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch! Ow...

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

Warp? We don't need no steenking warp

"Yeah, it's wrong, but you people are warping my brain."

No need to thank us, we're just happy to help out in any way possible. Selfless is our middle name. Along with a lot of unpleasant ones but we won't go into that now.

@Law: so one well-endowed Bulgarian would be generating around 2 Jigga-wats. How do we scale this? Distance travelled does drop off rather sharply with size while shape is also a factor. I can feel a research grant coming up... Or at least... Gotta go.

Al-Qaeda targets net-connected coffee machine

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

Perhaps...

...filters would be appropriate then.

OK, alright, I'm going.

Roomba robot maker to build DARPA squidge-droids

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Black Helicopters

Rats

It's a ratbot. Be prepared to be spied upon in the bog...

I for one welcome our new ratbot overlords. *gulp*

AVG scanner blasts internet with fake traffic

Morten Ranulf Clausen
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Out of control

I've dropped AVG because of version 8. It's out of control. It doesn't even let me have a say in what gets installed. It's a goner. Malware in my book.

Bletchley Park rattles tin for urgent repairs

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Joke

Blimey

40% more people have been visiting Milton Keynes over the last two years. Who'd have thunk it possible...

Deadly Oz snake bites tourist's todger

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

A missed opportunity for a

Great Australian Bite...

Mine's the one with the codpiece.

French FNARRista speed-cam bomber scores own goal

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

Oh dear

Having one off the wrist *is* dangerous after all. Who'd have thunk...

Mine's the black one with the tissue box in the pocket...

UK to outlaw cartoons of child sexual abuse

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Down

Those who ignore history...

...are bound to repeat it. Germany has just held memorials for the 75th anniversary of the Nazi book burnings, and here we go again. Just 75 years... *sigh* What have we done to have such idiots at the helm...?

As for the press: forget it. They no longer watch the watchmen. They're watching their stockholders wallets. Perhaps we have to have another period of repression to make people understand how important freedom is...

Mozilla pilots second release candidate for Firefox 3.0

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

RC1 fine so far

In fact, at least as stable and a *lot* faster than FF2 esp. when opening multiple tabs. I'll stick it out. Just waiting for TrackMeNot to come out for FF3. :-(

NZ bank robber stashes loot where the sun don't shine

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Happy

Lucky bastard

Imagine the pain if the take had been higher.

Or coins only. Being put in the clink for clinking. Oh the humanity.

OK, off to the pub lads, my trousers are full so the next one's on me...

Irish data protection chief in leaked report 'hack'

Morten Ranulf Clausen
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Is one too

Sure that's a hack. A real one, at that, not the silly stuff that's illegal and whatnot. It's simple, it's elegant and it does something that it wasn't supposed to do without harming anyone. Hack. Dixit.

MS UK kills mystery 'Live to Code' site

Morten Ranulf Clausen

@pedantry

"Real IT pros (programmers, sys admins, etc.) know that small details are important, and can have an asymmetrical effect."

Besides, nitpicking can be very interesting for the bystanders. I didn't know you could do this so I just learned something. What's wrong with that?

US boffins puff off 'living nose on a chip' tech

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

@Christoph

(Sorry, can't resist)

How does it smell then?

Server makers snub whalesong for serious windmill abuse

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

Is it just me...

...or is the squirrel soliciting to that train? Filthy, filthy stuff. Nasty, nasty Reg. Shame on you.

Mine's the one with the codpiece on the back.

Whitehats tackle The Great Botnet Dilemma

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

You're right but...

...taking the Windows machines out of the equation gets the most bang for the buck. I'm not a Linux fanboi, in fact the only OS I'm comfortable with right now is Windows in several flavors but let's face it - Windows machines make up 90% or more of the botnets. And no, not all computers need to be put away, just those making trouble for the rest of us. Kinda like in the real world, really... :-)

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Dead Vulture

@All this hand wringing...

Exactly. It's too hard for end users to figure out. It's even harder to get rid of the infection. Solution: kill Windows, make it unbootable. A dead Windows is fixable, all it takes is a bit of hard work with a lot of CDs and it's back again, hopefully sans malware. If not, repeat until malware is detectable by AV. Delete c:\windows\ or whatever it takes to make the problem obvious and the solution likewise. Don't touch data, just shoot the bleeding horse already...

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Gates Horns

Let them object

IMO a botted PC is like a runaway horse - it can be shot at will if it looks even slightly dangerous to people or property and the owner has some explaining to do. No Windows Update, no firewall, no antivirus? Pay up, bud. Don't know what they are? Take a course. Even OAPs take courses in PC-driving. Can't understand it? Sad. Learn to crochet. Or take the dog for walk.

Bill 'cause letting all those suckers get their paws on a full-featured PC was a baaad idea...

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Paris Hilton

Doesn't matter

This window of opportunity has probably closed already due to publicity. If the nitwits had started out just disabling the machines (by, say, killing the OS so a reinstall is needed) the botmasters wouldn't have had a clue to what the problem was and the operation could've continued. This open discussion is probably the single worst way of handling it. Gawd what idiocy... And no, it's not a crime to shut down a misbehaving machine by killing it. Dixit. It's not like it causes any kind of permanent damage.

Paris, because she would've done the same...

Chernobyl coverage blows up in Radio Free Europe's face

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

LOL

Anyone dumb enough to download and run DDOS tools for "hacktivism" deserve what they get (rootkits, trojans, adware, etc....). This is a problem that's going to solve itself with time.

Homeland Security takes pity on terror list Ted Kennedys

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

Indeed

"PS: You may want to find out the maximum number of chars in the government's data base for first names before going about naming your child though."

And then make sure to name your child with buffer overflow code. Or maybe just 'sploit the DB - XKCD has explored this theme in http://xkcd.com/327/ - a devilish hack. :-)

Pirate Bay-probing cop on Warner Brothers payroll

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

I buy tons of music and movies

And I find €10 a very sensible price to pay. Any more than that and I don't bother. If that was the going price for new stuff I'd buy that too. But apparently the customer is no longer right...

As for "distributors have to live too" - nope, they don't, not on my money anyway. In this day and age they're about as necessary as blacksmiths. Welcome to Amazon/eBay + decent postal service. Now if the distributor actually added value I'd have no qualms about paying up but RIAA/MPAA do nothing but invest conservatively in all kinds of non-artistic crap - I think the world has had all the boy bands it needs. Real art and real entertainment happen despite the dinosaurs these days.

The biggest problem for the corporations in RIAA/MPAA is that the market has finally started to work with the advent of cheap, worldwide communication. eBay is a bigger danger to them than anything TPB or other small fry present - a low-cost well-functioning used goods market will put pressure on any market for physical goods. Boohoo-bleeding-hoo. Time to study Chapter 11, boys and girls...

UK.gov will force paedophiles to register email addresses

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

Hooray

2 words: joe job. Now what is the email address for Wacky Jacqui again... :-D It only takes one registered offender with an axe to grind for the entire parliament to be fingered as paedos. Bloody brilliant of her.

Vatican updates list of mortal sins

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Happy

Ahem...

Why do we even care? Truly a really all-powerful being would not need something as pathetic as the Catholic Church to bring out his message but would head straight for the core DNS servers. Ignore them, they're trolling. :-)

Software company seeks 'Senior BJ assistant'

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

My question is...

...is this an entry position or is hands-on experience required?

OK, alright, mine's the rubber one with the diving mask.

User-friendly black hats debut Crimeware as a Service (CAAS)

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Paris Hilton

Innovation...

...now coming from a black hat near you. Not surprising. Where there's money, there's people willing to pursue it.

Paris, because she's unsafe at any speed. Or sumtin...

Quake rocks Britain

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

Sure it is!

"How could atmospheric warming cause or even contribute to an earthquake?"

Well, things expand when they get hot and so must the Earth that's basic science right GET IT - SCIENCE and so of course it's our fault and of course we should stop doing bad things RIGHT NOW and and and save the whales and the baby seals oh that was last year anyhoo...

*cough* </sarcasm>

I'm going, I'm going, no worries mates...

US cruiser nails crippled spy-sat on first shot

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

The Truth Shall Make You Fret

"I could of course be completely barking"

Luther my man, you're dead on target... ;-)

Häagen-Dazs battles honeybee Colony Collapse Disorder

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

Oh dear

"use of unauthorised bee treatments"

Don't tell me they've started doing acupuncture with their stings - bad idea, li'l friends, very bad idea.

Mine's the striped one with the wings...

DVD Jon aims to smash digital Tower of Babel

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Joke

Poor guy...

...he'll be headed for Gitmo just as soon as RIAA can figure out a way to put "terrorism" somewhere in a policy statement. It's really too much, Jon. Quit while you're ahead.

</sarcasm>

US scientists puncture the ethanol biofuel bubble

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Stop

I don't get it...

The carbon footprint aside, there's something deeply disturbing about the worldwide discussion on biofuels. A couple of years ago is was evil to subsidize food production in the rich countries because it lowered the grain price which made poor folks everywhere give up farming and so caused starvation. Now it's evil to grow less grain in the rich countries because that will raise the world price on grain so the poor can't afford food and hence it'll cause starvation. I don't get it, I really don't. Are the poor of the world suddenly too dumb/lazy/whatever to take up farming or sumtin'? Could someone please give me the lowdown on this? Sounds a lot like racism to me... Or perhaps both points are just examples of the blinkered idiocy that makes do for science these days.

As for radiation from nuclear power plants being a Bad Thing - try using a Geiger counter near a coal-powered plant for a dare... Google radon for explanation.

"All energy on earth is ultimately derived from the Sun" - no. Think geothermal. Not a lot of that comes from the Sun. Not even originally.

/me dreaming about science entering the fray at some point...

Microhoo! or YahSoft!? The! people! must! decide!

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

Well...

One can only hope for "Microsoft!". I'd always wanted to see that company end with a bang...

Yes indeed sir, that looks exactly like my coat, thank y<thud>

Oil rig dream bomb taxpayer bill 'astronomical'

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Linux

Not quite in orbit

1 million £... A lot, but astronomical? Methinks not. Maybe even cheap for an exercise of this magnitude at that.

Penguin 'cause this is one of the few things penguins don't have to fear.

Scientology website shielded against DDoS attack

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Alien

The Church of...

...the Holy Tax Deduction is alive and well, I see. Sad. But evolution in action, as far as I'm concerned. They soak up capital from those too dumb to think for themselves which puts just a little bit more pressure on them, ensuring their genes have a harder time reproducing. If not CHTD, then someone else would do it. At least CHTD's obvious and easy to avoid for the rest of us.

Funnyman-loving Facebookers mock US prez race

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Happy

Why is it that...

...every time I see mention of FaceBook, MySpace etc. I think of AOL of old - the asylum where the tossers were kept so the rest of us could be serious with Usenet etc. *sigh* Those were the days... ;-) "social networking-crazed high school tosser" - indeed.

NASA extends olive branch to robots for moon mission

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

Better make that an all-male crew then

"When robots run into trouble, they don't ask for help or seek advice."

Including any females looks like a recipe for disaster. Icy silence all the way back... *shudder* It's a looong way home from the moon. Men would be much more understanding.

Dead dog floors 68 Namibian villagers

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Happy

@Slappy

Vile. Well done that man. Carry on.

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Up

Dare I say it...

Now, I find that eating dog meat is quite disgusting but so's the common or garden variety sausage, so no problem there. But *diseased* dogmeat? As far as I'm concerned this is a fine example of evolution in action. There just might be a Darwin Award in this for someone.

IBM patents making money from patents

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Happy

What I don't get...

...is why the rest of us continue to recognize US patents? There's obviously no checking involved so anything could be patented. I move that we test the idea and simply kill off any idiocy (patent on patents, war in Iraq etc.) that slithers across the pond. Then we'll have a nice empirical study of whether patents are still needed... :-)

Nasty PDF exploit runs wild

Morten Ranulf Clausen

Not quite...

"BTW these viruses only work because of failings in the poorly written software such as Windows and Acrobat and those are not Russian."

No. They work because of 2 facts: 1) to err is human and 2) there are scum willing to exploit their fellow human beings. It could be any software exploited by any nationality so saying that any given problem is the specific fault of anyone is kinda unfair. 419'ers have been quite scummy without having to resort to exploiting faulty software. It's a human condition, and if we can't handle that we deserve to fail.

Instead we could have a bit more productive discussion by acknowledning the facts and then try to figure out which infrastructure to handle it. Here in Denmark we have something cooking that's beyond idiotic and far into dangerous: Digital Signature. One key to rule them all, banking, public services, real estates, mortgages - everything in one encryption key. I'm not participating. My PC is not and never will be secure enough to hold anything remotely like this. I'll live with a fragmented life and enjoy the fact that even though my credit card may be abused I still have a house to live in.

Cops pull plugs on TV-links, claim 'facilitation of infringement'

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

"All our information..

...are belong to FACT". Sorry, couldn't resist.

On a side note, it's a bit appalling how Free Speech seemingly doesn't matter any more. I mean, I this bar where, if you really try, you can find all kinds of interesting stuff that fell off the back of a truck. But I should presumably just shut my gob or I could face jailtime. Neat. Problem solved. Or maybe not...

Fasthosts customer? Change your password now

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Happy

Truly vile...

A real stinker:

"Yeah, right. Any developer worth his salt wouldn't make such a hash of this."

Well done, sir/madam. Keep up the good work.

Restored Vulcan takes to the skies

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Coat

So before anyone can get on board...

...will they be x-rayed and patted down for fluids? I mean, flying with fluids leads to terrorism, well known fact.

Ubuntu goes 3-D

Morten Ranulf Clausen
Thumb Down

@Adrian: so right

I heartily concur. The day someone actually cares about the user interface is the day Linux will enter my life. Not a second before. I've had a go at a Linux distro every time my Windoze needed reinstallation, i.e. twice a year, and to date not one of them has been up to snuff. Not Red Hat, not Ubuntu, not SuSE. I end up plugging in the XP CD every time and doing yet another Windoze configuration, much as I dislike it. If the coders making the distros would forget about the bleeding eye candy (3D? come on...) and try to get their stuff together I'd be in there like a shot, but now? No. My time is too precious to spend it on something as basic as an OS. I sell my time for money and every hour wasted on trying to figure out how my new OS does something simple is costing me $$$.

@Alan: as for the "idiot" and "uneducated" and "wilfully ignorant lusers" - try keeping the expletives to a minimum. Your attitude is wildly unprofessional. And perhaps a good indication of why Linux will not for a foreseeable future have a decent chance on the desktop...

Google malware watchdogs bite mom-and-pop shops

Morten Ranulf Clausen

@Anthony: ad-killer

May I suggest searching for the Proxomitron. It's ancient, it's clunky, and it works. 3 out of 3 ain't that bad... :-) Seriously, I hardly ever see ads any more. I'm a parasite. So sue me. Obnoxious ads constitute a crime against humanity and should be punished accordingly. Dixit.

BitTorrent-busters busted by BitTorrent

Morten Ranulf Clausen

Fascinating, really

Like any other war started by Americans from 1812 onwards they don't really understand the battlefield enough to do anything but brute-force it. Sometimes it works, but mostly it doesn't. In this case they are up against a mongolian horde and brute-forcing doesn't really make much sense. Move the battlefield. Change the war. Or lose. But that means understanding the battlefield and they don't dare to...

BOFH: New toys

Morten Ranulf Clausen

Watercooling?

"That said you'll be pleased to know that old IBM 486s could withstand sweat dripping off my nose onto the board whilst running - water-cooling anyone?"

I once ripped open my thumb on a graphics card while doing stuff to a RAID controller in a machine of that ilk (the dip switches had a tendency to shift by themselves so I was trying to glue them down without turning the machine off - downtime was not appreciated). The blood poured freely (I kid you not - I didn't know I had a major artery in my thumb but I must have*) so for a while that computer was blood cooled. Now tell that to young people today and they won't believe you.

* OK, so maybe there wasn't much more than a few millilitres but it looked impressive. On the table and the floor and my T-shirt too. Still got the scar. Ah, the memories of battles past...

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