* Posts by Uplink

96 posts • joined 7 Apr 2010

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'I thought my daughter clicked on ransomware – it was the damn Windows 10 installer'

Uplink

Windows Update 1-5 days

"Checking for Windows 7 updates now can take anywhere from one to five days before the list of updates appears."

Oh, is that it? I thought it got stuck in an infinite loop.

I _wanted_ to update from W7 and W8 to W10 on two machines and bleeping WU would just go around in circles. I went through all the troubleshooting steps MS had to throw at me to no effect, so I ended up installing W10 manually after searching Google to see how it's done. Once on W10 WU worked as expected. Both machines were fresh install of W7 and fresh activation of W8, things I did only as a step towards W10 anyway - which I then deleted to install Linux instead. I just wanted to make sure I get the licence for the machines in case I ever need to upgrade my phone software using an .exe from the manufacturer or other similar stuff I can't do on Linux or OS X.

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China's Great Firewall inventor forced to use VPN live on stage to dodge his own creation

Uplink

Re: please unplug your modem...

"you only felt safe posting anonymous"

It's quasi-anonymous. El Reg still knows who you are (Anonymous Coward had to log in) and can tell on you to any interested parties. This isn't Slashdot.

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Blighty starts pumping out 12-sided quids

Uplink

Re: Parking and Vending Machines

I think it can work. I used substitution: "It doesn't exist everywhere enough" and it seems to work. It's a measure of density per unit of everywhere.

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Data protection: Don't be an emotional knee jerk. When it comes to the law, RTFM

Uplink

Data Protection as an excuse to be lazy

One day I was unable to go through the Overground gates using my contactless card. After a few attempts which resulted in "seek assistance", I went online to see what the Internet has to say about this. The TfL website said that the staff at the station should be able to tell me what's going on, so I went and asked. The response? "Talk to your bank. I can't tell you what's wrong because of Data Protection." even after pointing out what the website said. They didn't even try to look up any error data that could have said "it's your bank's fault". Later on I called the bank and they said there's nothing wrong with my card - it wasn't blocked, wasn't subject to fraud, nothing. And it worked fine since then too. But I'll never know what happened.

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Austrian mayor spunks €40k on virgin-eating dragon

Uplink

Either stupidity or corruption

This is a great example that could have been run as a popular contest with a 100 Euro prize. Maybe make it 1000 and give out prizes to runner ups too (say 100 and 500 Euros). But then the brother's nephew's sister-in-law's artsy company wouldn't be getting the biz, would it?

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Californian tycoons stole my sharing economy, says Lily Cole

Uplink

For starters, I can't get what impossible.com does from their front pages. It has that neo-dotcom look where it screams "it's great! believe us!" but without actually saying how it works. I'm a software developer. Put an algorithm in front of me or Hulk Smash(tm). What I did get, is that it's something about sharing skills, time, objects (this is buried in the "About Us" page), but as soon as I land all I see is "shop". I can't reconcile being paid in Thanks with shopping in Pounds Sterling, and I've already spent enough time on their site, so I'll stop trying.

On a tangent:

Given a very recent past experience where a friend maxed her "underutilised" brand new credit card in two months and then came asking for help, I'm starting to move away from the idea of sharing. I'd gladly help her grow, but she failed so many times (I played the role of creditors to Greece in this play) that I have no idea what else to do. She's willing to cut on food and keep pay tv... and she even got upset when I suggested she does it the other way around...

If you want to do good in the world, help people grow. But as soon as you realise that they not only don't grow, but abuse the help to fuck their lives up, walk away - find somebody else. This should also be a prime directive when it comes to state benefits: Grow so you stop needing the benefits or fuck off.

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Google Project Zero reverse-engineers Windows path hacks for better security

Uplink

Re: : in a path name ?

If they start allowing colon in filenames, then Windows will get dotted with files called C:\npddf32Log\debuglog.txt like my Linux box is. It appears it's Firefox/XULRunner that does leaves these files all over the place - although, right now, 'locate' can't find any for some reason; maybe they fixed it.

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Putin's internet guru says 'nyet' to Windows, 'da' to desktop Linux

Uplink

Re: Next....

In my circle of friends it's been the year of Linux on the desktop (laptop rather) for years now. I don't really care about the rest of the world :)

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Next year's Windows 10 auto-upgrade is MSFT's worst idea since Vista

Uplink

Grandma is half savvy?

I've already had a call from an elderly relative asking about this and she's not keen, as she's only just learned how to use Windows 8 in the last few years and doesn't fancy redoing all that.

Fair point...

When I explained the situation to her the response was as you'd expect – she's turning automatic updates off to block the download. She says she'll do the job manually, [...]

Wait, she found the part of the OS where settings live? And she figured out how to turn updates off and run them manually all by herself? And she knows how to review updates when she pulls them in manually?

But she can't be arsed to "learn" Windows 10. What's there to learn anyway? Maybe the start menu and where the settings for updates have been moved. That "search for the thing I want to run" thing in the taskbar too complicated? And there's always "tablet mode" she can try.

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There's no Wayback in Russia: Putin blocks Archive.org

Uplink

Re: Putin is a putz.

The age old impression that the replacements just have to be better, kinder, smarter, less psychopathic than the current people. Who do you think will replace these guys? Hmm?

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URRGH! Evil app WATCHES YOU WATCHING PORN, snaps your grimace

Uplink

Draw over other apps

When I see this permission, I think twice. Anyway, adb remove crap.app, after you find out its ID, should rid you of the ransom request. Or just long-press the power button and choose to obliterate your phone :)

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Uplink

Re: Unchecking?

Cheap Chinese Spyware Phones come with that enabled by default for some reason.

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Attack of the IT monuments men: Museum wants your kit

Uplink

50 tickets

How many readers do your analytics tell you you really have?

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Spaniard sues eBay over right to sell the Sun

Uplink

I have a bridge to sell. Will eBay block me too? I can produce one of those notary documents about this bridge too.

Also, property rights are only as good as their enforcement. Thus, I hereby declare Adverse Possession of the Sun. I'd like to see her evict me and sue me for trespassing.

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Goog says patch⁵⁰ your Chrome

Uplink

Re: Are there any browser that just browse?

Lynx? NetSurf?

Lynx is text-only. NetSurf is graphical, but has no Javascript. What level of "just browsing" do you need?

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BT at last coughs to 'major outage' after broadband went titsup across UK on Sat

Uplink

Re: Funny

When the router can't be persuaded to give out Google DNS, I go the extra mile and tell my computer to not use DNS information from DHCP and just use Google. Actually, encountering BT DNS (or any other ISP DNS really) on a new computer promptly makes me take a detour to the settings and switch to Google. BT and other ISPs seem to think they're doing you a service when they break DNS hierarchies and ignore that DNSSEC exists.

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Microsoft gives away Windows Phone 8 licences in India – report

Uplink

Re: Almost free

Which country is that? How can anybody get away with "it's almost like Android" without being sent to misleading advertising hell?

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I KNOW how to SAVE Microsoft. Give Windows 8 away for FREE – analyst

Uplink

Not free... They're a business.

They're a business, so unless they can make up the shortfall from other sources, free giveaways isn't an option - even though that's what got MS Windows popular to begin with (albeit a bit without official permission).

But, say, a price of 20-29 pounds (above 29, even if it's 29.01 or 29.99, and you lose me), and I'll buy it when I need it. And I'm not using Windows except in a virtual machine, when I have to run some Windows software to configure some hardware, and I have no Linux option. I have a Mac as well, so I don't boot my XP VM very often at all, as most Windows software houses also publish for Mac. I paid 22 quid for my XP (retail French edition, regeditted to accept the English SP3, so now it's a mix of languages, mostly English, but still with some French in it). And then MS didn't get a single penny out of my 22 quid because they're not selling anything in that price range. I'm OCD enough to avoid pirate software unless there really isn't any other way to get the job done for that throwaway case I can't use Linux for (which means paying lots of cash for software does not make business sense). I haven't pirated anything in many years by the way - the one case that may have required a pirate copy came with a trial version of their software - and I ended up not using it anyway, because it didn't suite my needs (was beaten by vim if you can believe it).

I paid 13 quid for a OS X update after I got my used Mac without batting an eyelid, because friggin' Xcode wouldn't run on 10.6, and I needed Xcode. To me Mavericks really is free :) When I do need to be reminded of the stupid OS that is W8, I boot an image from modern.ie in a VM - none have survived more than 4 hours so far. And I'm an avid Ubuntu Unity user (in 2D, with XfWM instead of copiz or metacity - those are slow as hell), which as far as I can tell receives a lot of hate...

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We'll build Elon Musk's Hyperloop ... if you lob us ONE-MEELLION dollars

Uplink

My first thought was AMD's HyperTransport Technology. It sure almost sounds the same...

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US court: Dell can't hound debtor with robocalls to her mobile

Uplink

Re: PAY UP!!!

"As far as I'm aware, the only bank in the UK that lets you do international transfers online is HSBC."

Halifax does it too. Slower than HSBC (HSBC UK to ING RO - half an hour; Halifax takes 3-5 days), but also cheaper (HSBC £17, Halifax £9.99).

And I'm yet to see one bank in the UK that does not do International transfers online (but I didn't look too hard). So far, they _make_ you do it online by charging you more to do it in branch or by phone.

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Romania chucks €21m at IBM for Bucharest IT project

Uplink
Headmaster

Oh, so close

You got all the Romanian letters right, but then misspelled this one: Ziarul Financier :P There's no "e" in there :D

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Texas teen jailed for four months over sarcastic Facebook comment

Uplink
Facepalm

Re: Divided "threatening a bloodbath" @Lord Elpuss

"Without getting into the really nasty details, he’s had concussions, black eyes, moved four times from base for his own protection,” [...] “He’s been put in solitary confinement, nude, for days on end because he’s depressed"

Well... if what he wrote was a joke initially, I think he'll think twice now and plan it outright and do it. But not to a school. More like to a certain sheriff's office. You know... he already did the time, he may as well do the deed too. I really hope he goes the "I want to be a millionaire" law suit route and wins.

Excuse me for a second, some people are knocking at/down my door...

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Uplink

Re: be afraid

"Oh, IANAL etc but AFAIK, the US consitution need not apply to Aliens (what they call us johhny foreigners)"

IANAL either, but technically there are these international treaties that apply to people when they visit a foreign country, and they usually say that 1. you're supposed to obey the host country's law; 2. the host country should treat you like one of their own citizens in terms of law, observing whatever restrictions you may have extra imposed on you for being not from around there. It's this "international law" that we keep hearing about but have no direct.gov.world place to go to and read it, and it's because of these why you don't get your own special set of laws - EULA - to sign at the border when you enter another country.

Your home country will have a stern talking to the host country if they mistreat you. The organisations that supervise the treaties, and the other organisations your country is part of, may have a stern talk to the host country as well. And it turns out the USA isn't that special either when it comes to pulling trade agreements from under their feet - it's just that they're not used to being at the other end of the stick.

Tl;dr; If you go to the USA and they throw you in jail without charge, and you're from the UK, the UK.gov will probably take offence at that, and call the US ambasador in for a cup of tea, to tell them that only the UK gets to do that to you, so the US should just back off :)

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At last: EU slashes mobile roaming fees

Uplink

"Of course IP-based communications could be made as reliable as the PSTN, but then it would cost 10x as much."

I'm missing the terms that "10x as much" operates on. What will cost 10x as much compared to what? I assume the first operand is "IP-based communications" will cost 10x as much. But is it 10x as much as they currently cost? Or 10x as much as POTS currently costs?

I mean, I'm confused because mobile data charges are crazy enough as it is. Can't costs be 10x that, can they?

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Notebook sales to surge, says notebook seller

Uplink

Re: Competing in the wrong direction

If you're into external device integration (things that go on networks and serial ports to be controlled by computer), many times you get a stupid CD with the manual - a manual that isn't on the manufacturer's website. I barely use my optical drive, but it's there when I need it.

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Want to know if that hottie has HIV? Put their blood in the DVD player

Uplink

Re: Clever

For scratches, get a cat, or dog, that has claws. Cat claws appear to be a lot more effective than dog claws, because they don't need a lot of force to cause damage, and when they cause the damage, it's not flesh deep :) Then, under the ruse of helping your target clean the wounds, collect your sample.

For the more geeky inclined, a "babe, I got this modified DVD player that can check for HIV and other cool biological things" remark will most certainly elicit a "awesome! can I try it? we'll eat later" response.

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Samsung: Smart TV security hole is so minor we'll fix it immediately

Uplink
Joke

Samsung modus operandi

They seem to be in the business of cutting corners.

(My Galaxy S phone with Cyanogenmod 9 experiences exactly the same apparently kernel memory leaks as the stock Gingerbread firmware. The gaping hole in the S2, S3, Note where RAM is opened to everyone without restriction. The above article. Just to mention a few non-hardware corners they've cut).

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Just bought an Apple product? Need support NOW? Drop an F-BOMB

Uplink
Devil

Re: What's the magic word?

> I even go as far as actively researching which engines airlines buy and if I have a choice, I'll fly on a Rolls Royce engine instead of a GE one

You mean like this one: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/nov/05/qantas-a380-engine-failure ?

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UK.gov squatting on £1bn IPv4 motherlode

Uplink

Re: How do you flog addresses?

There's always something you can do. Like assign the IP addresses to a distinct business unit, then flog that. Then whoever buys that unit reassignes the IP addresses to its own relevant department and dissolves the unit. All done nicely through company restructuring and flogging processes, not involving RIPE or equivalent except maybe to update their records.

Can't move the item as is? You find a vehicle that can move the item, then move the vehicle. Man with a van for IP addresses. If you're clever, you might even be able to claim it as a loss towards your profits when you dissolve the purchased unit (some ad company MS dumped recently gave me this idea).

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iPhone 5 has 'laser keyboard, holographic images'

Uplink

Re: Eyeliner3D

Still requires a projection surface though. Anyone who manages to project into thin air, without any invisible projection screen, will be undoubtedly very very rich as a result.

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Everything Everywhere to be Nothing Nowhere in rebrand

Uplink

Re: I know, I know....

A nice lucky number too :)

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Beck's open-source challenge to freetards: play it yourself!

Uplink

Re: eeeh

"If no such agreement is anywhere on the product, are we then free to assume that once bought, you are free to do with the product as you see fit - I.E make tons of money off of it, without paying anything to Beck?"

The way I understand copyright law, rights are withheld by default. That is if they aren't explicitly granted to you, you don't have them. Long story short: if there isn't any agreement on or in the box, you don't have any rights to what you bought (except to the physical support, which isn't under copyright, and you can use that any way you like, like, say, as a paperweight or a doorstop). It's not public domain unless the author says so.

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Assange granted asylum by Ecuador after US refused to rule out charges

Uplink

Way out

So tell me this: What prevents the Ecuadorians from putting Assange on a helicopter and drop him on a boat in international waters? All they have to do is file a flight plan, not say who's on board, right? If gov.uk finds out while the helicopter is still in the air, would they send jets to down it? What? They'd have no mandate to shoot to kill. All they could do is actually escort said helicopter to international waters, where he'd be put on a Learjet to Ecuador. Who says they didn't do this already? :)

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Natwest freezes debit cards, online banking in fresh cock-up

Uplink

Time magazine front page suggestion

I declare this the year of the bug. Or rather of the fuck up, since the headlines aren't limited to software.

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Nokia set to axe China R&D jobs

Uplink
Happy

Somebody give them a clue

People are using Windows on the desktop because it became a de facto standard through various means (like: nobody bothered to target Joe Consumer before). These days, everyone with the cash gets a Mac, not a Windows PC. They didn't have any proper foothold on the mobile market, and people won't give them one. Unless hell freezes over, they'll have to satisfy themselves competing with the likes of Brew, Bada, and whatnot.

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World celebrates System Administrator Appreciation Day

Uplink
Pint

Re: How about some nice ladies finally finding interest in all the work?

It's all this innuendo that scares chicks away methinks. All those guys that do get women seem to do everything BUT the innuendo. But don't ask me how they can be so normal. I'm still trying to find out myself.

I'll go get myself a beer. I administrate my own system. I'm a programmer. I'll try to get some beers out of my co-workers too though, because I double as a sysadmin from time to time. Especially for that guy who can't keep out of the Administrator account even though I put a huge warning in big letters telling him to log off there and then on the desktop and locked it via registry permissions. He's supposedly knowledgeable, but I have no idea why he need that account so often (at least, if that computer get a virus, he's the only one using that account, so if this happens, I can tell him off).

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Gabe Newell: Windows 8 is a 'catastrophe' for PC biz

Uplink
Go

Trying to create a joke since forever

I have these works in my head: Windows 8 my computer. But I can't make them into a proper joke. Can anyone help?

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Girls tricked by STEAMY message: Webcam spyware student jailed

Uplink

Re: Porn

Oh, and I have to mention: No, it doesn't make it OK to spy on people, even if human psychology can explain why people are drawn to doing it.

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Uplink

Re: Porn

If I were to guess, I'd say that seeing naked people you know is more gratifying than random porn on the Internet. Those naked people on the Internet are already naked. But getting those hot girls in your neighbourhood to strip for you... good luck with that. Yet that's what you really want: naked.hot.neighbour.jpg or even .mpg; It's really really hard to find porn that looks like the girl next door. If you could get people to do that IRL, you'd spend more time in clubs and then use your own webcam - one "modded" so it doesn't have a light :)

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Uplink

Re: pics or it didn't happen

Can't unplug a built-in webcam. You can however put the laptop lid down so all the pictures that someone might capture are black.

But why oh why would you have your computer powered up in the shower? Even if the steam would "clean your sensor", that wouldn't require the computer to be on, would it? Think electricity and water, if anything...

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Three punters' data use doubles

Uplink
Pint

Broadband only

Right now I'm not a broadband customer at all (not wired, not 3G). Well... not in this country. I don't need it. But when I will, I won't be getting any wired services unless they drop the line rental requirement. I'll just get on Three's One Plan. I'm already a Three 3Pay customer, and love them (the 150 MB free allowance does me for now). I don't need a landline either. If I were to go with a copper chain, I still wouldn't need a landline. I don't need TV either. I'm basically the worst customer in the books of BT and Sky. But I get punished for that, as I still need to pay line rental. Virgin, if you go on their fiber rather than the BT reselling side of the business, charge you extra for the "privilege" of taking just broadband from them (with a 13.9/month phone line, broadband is 14.5/month; don't want a phone? it's 22.5/month for you mister).

I declare myself a Three fanboi, and I don't see myself switching at the rate the competition is going.

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Uplink

I never thought about calling 3 straight up to ask them to unblock my porn... I just set up a squid proxy on my OVH RPS instead and encrypted my connection :) And I did that only when their porn blocker blocked a non-porn site (unless anything NSFW is porn... now is it?) It's phillyd.tv in case you're wondering.

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Skype so sorry for sending that saucy IM to mum instead of pash

Uplink

Linux

So let me guess: Linux users not affected, because the Linux client hasn't been updated for ages, so hey, no update required this time around either, because they never sat down to break it. Right?

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Indian software pirating suspect faces US extradition

Uplink

So many saints in India

Of all of India, they found ONE guy only? That must have taken a lot of FBI time... India is full of saints who never download American IP and print it on DVDs for resale, right?

(separate post because of separate point to make)

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Uplink

Visit the US

So this is how they go around H1-B limitations these days? Or do they just want to get more people to visit the US, even if the US taxpayer will have to foot the bill?

Either way, I'm massaging my goatee right now... Do you think they'll pay for the trip back as well? And is their detention centre anywhere near popular US attractions, like, say, Hollywood or the Statue of what was that thing again? Liberty? And do they give you an allowance for the duration?

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Dimming the lights on smart(arse) TV

Uplink
Holmes

Re: Are you kidding?

But then when will you have to do useful thankless work?

Oh...

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GSMA pledges end to data roaming bill shock

Uplink
Megaphone

Re: Er

But hey, now you have no excuse to say you didn't know, right? "I didn't read the text - I just deleted it" doesn't quite cut it. If they tell you a billion times and you just won't listen and rack up a bill anyway, then you have no recourse really. But then again, it's because of people who delete and don't read why you get the added restriction of... how much was it? 50 euros? roaming cost cap too.

Thank the many people who don't bother reading or doing any research and who, unlike some of us, aren't OCD at all - not even a little bit. I personally welcome such restrictions, because in the end it's these people who I hear complain when their bills skyrocket, and that's a ton more annoying than receiving a bunch of texts while roaming. Most of them would probably go crying to their OCD friends and relatives and ask them for help (of course they get offended when they get told off too).

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Tech fault at RBS and Natwest freezes millions of UK bank balances

Uplink

Paypal eBay coupon coincidence

I can't help but wonder if Paypal and RBS share code. I had a coupon last week that I used on eBay, and only half of it went through... and I got charged too. I'm still waiting for them to respond and hopefully give me back my other half of the coupon. And then RBS and Natwest go down together? Hmm...

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Skype launches in-call ads

Uplink

We interrupt this conversation...

We interrupt this conversation for a word from our sponsor. Why isn't Google Talk popular yet?

I'm on Linux. Will this be a client side "enhancement" or a server-side one? I thought Skype was P2P more or less (they were talking about nodes and supernodes as being how they keep costs down) so the client has to be involved somehow. Asking this because the Linux client has been in beta for ages now and no one updated it for anything.

If they do manage to shove ads into my Linux Skype, do they mean that if I give them a quid they'll go away and leave me alone forever? So MS will go like "If I had a pound for every time someone cursed an ad, I'd be rich. Oh, look, I do :)". But then they'll be a few million pounds richer, but then the revenue stream would abruptly dry up, because everyone would have paid their quid to forever rid themselves of ads. I'm sure they'll figure something out, like "top up every 6 months or you get ads again" though.

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India to greenlight state-sponsored cyber attacks

Uplink
Pint

I'd rather have this

I'd rather cyber warfare than bullet warfare any day. You can always get better shields in cyber warfare, and some point you won't need to get better shields because everything will be as fortified as it gets and everyone will just have to play nice (it's asymptotic: it will never be this way, but we'll get closer and closer). Not the case with bullet warfare.

And in case you wonder, yeah, I am a mouse.

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