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* Posts by Locky

116 posts • joined 7 Apr 2010

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Detroit losing MILLIONS because it buys CHEAP BATTERIES – report

Locky

Why do they need parking meters anyway?

Just deploy some ED209's with traffic warden hats. Parking problem goes away in around 20 seconds

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Trying to sell your house? It'd better have KILLER mobile coverage

Locky

Re: femotocells

My point exactly.

Never overestimate the stupidity of the general public

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VMware fuels cloudy drive, plonks second bit barn in UK

Locky

Chesington DC

It's a world of adventures

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VMware to offer converged compute and storage hardware

Locky

Marvin

Brain the size of a planet and they ask me to virtualise servers

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Microsoft Surface 3 Pro: Flip me over, fondle me up

Locky

Re: "Nobody invented the screwdriver hammer"

"You're forgetting the 3 Rules of Engineering"

Close;

1. Always use the correct tool for the job.

2. If it moves and it shouldn't, Hammer

3. It it doesn't move and it should, WD40

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BOFH: Is WHAT 'running slow'!? GOD

Locky

Re: so familiar...

Only to be beaten by the ones who send group emails to proclaim that email is down. Gee, thanks.for.that

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New Terminator-style 'bots can self-assemble, leap, climb and SWARM

Locky

Re: A witch! A witch!

To be fair, what is science if not witchcraft with clipboards?

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Locky
Terminator

Nothing to worry about here

It's not like other scientist are developing velociraptor like robots that could combine with this to create the perfect killing machine;

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/01/05/dino_tail_robot/

Well lucky for us there's no Skynet-like AI which will allow it to realise that humans are the threat;

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/05/21/ibm_watson_talking_computer_customer_service/

Oh

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VMware to customers: STOP INSTALLING OUR SOFTWARE! NOW!

Locky

You'd hope not, and don't call me Shirley

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The Solar System's second-largest volcano found hiding on Earth

Locky
Mushroom

Named by Sasha Barron-Cohen?

Clearly a nod toward his Staines Massif

I believe the correct response is "BOOM"

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Qualcomm reveals 'Toq' smartwatch

Locky
Mushroom

Re: But what happens...

You'll break the Internet, it's like goggling Goggle

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Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Blacklist... Spy HARDER

Locky

Big boss level

You sit in an airport for 2 months, and say nice things about Putin, Equador and Iceland

You only continue when one of them grants you safe passage. This is run in real time

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Windows NT: Remember Microsoft's almost perfect 20-year-old?

Locky
Headmaster

Re: "they got rid of that login method later on"

Kids of today eh, what do they teach you?

<Ctrl><Alt><Del> was used because that was the hard stop command, the idea being it would cause a virus / keylogger to stop before a user loged in.

Obviously it didn't work, but it was a nice idea

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Attention, addicts: LEGO meth lab pays homage to Breaking Bad

Locky

Forget Breaking Bad

We need Ghostbusters - http://lego.cuusoo.com/ideas/view/8058

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Rate-my-boink app scores frisky fanbois, fangurlz' SCREAMS, VIBRATIONS

Locky

Monitors data from user’s movement through the accelerometer?

You're defiantly holding that wrong

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Big blue Avatar movie spawns THREE SEQUELS

Locky

A2 has already been released in the UK

https://plus.google.com/u/0/114593821180864049910/posts

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Premier League boots footie-streaming site off Blighty's interwebs

Locky

I give it a day

Before FirstRow2.eu is registered...

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Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent

Locky
Terminator

Cheap supermarket copies will be called

Replent, and advertised by CGIed Rutger Hauer and Daryl Hannah

That's my brainstorming done for the day, beer o'clock ahoy

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Your Flying Car? Delayed again, but you WILL get it, says Terrafugia

Locky
Joke

Yes yes yes, but

Where is my hover-board?

Come on, chop chop

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BSkyB seeks 100s of Geordies to deal with broadband customer growth

Locky
Childcatcher

Re: Only if....

Black and white woodland animal, friend of Toad and Rattie

That's right, it's at barger

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Weary quid-a-day nosh hack fears colonal mass ejection

Locky
Unhappy

Re: Out of curiosity ...

Somewhat strangely, the IRS insists that my time is valueless ;-)

Mrs Locky says the same thing about mine too when I'm doing "important things" like mess with the house pi and the like

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Fried-egg sarnies kick off Reg man's quid-a-day nosh challenge

Locky

Re: Do they not have street markets over in Spain?

As I recall, most of our supermercat meat is also of unknown origin

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Can't find your motor? Apple patents solve car park conundrums

Locky
Coat

Doesn't have quite the same ring to it

Dude, Where's My App That Will Make This A Much Shorter Film

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Boffins build ant-sized battery, claim it's tough enough to start a car

Locky
Coat

A day?

You must be using it wrong. If I get less than 2 weeks out of mine I'm disappointed.

Yeah, mine's the one with the Nokia 6310 in the pocket

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Dinosaur embryos FOUND: Resurrection 'out of the question'* - boffin

Locky

Re: Nature finds a way

As long as they write all the controls in Unix, a 12 year old girl will be able to reactivate all the security systems, so it'll be fine

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Hold on! Degrees for all doesn't mean great jobs for all, say profs

Locky
Childcatcher

Re: It's whether the degree is *hard* or *soft*

Be afraid categorising all courses, a quick quote from the the BBC's April Fools Day: 10 stories that look like pranks but aren't - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21993582

Universities are offering courses in Harry Potter and "ethical hacking".

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

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Tech is the biggest problem facing archiving

Locky

Re: Won't somebody think of the history?

Historians in the 23rd C will know our time as the period when people took photos of everything with very poor cameras. Which is odd, as 10 years before all the analogue pictures were pin sharp

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Microsoft releases Exchange 2013 update

Locky

Reason's for 2013?

I'm still looking for a good reason to move from 2010 to 2013. There's no real compelling feature that I can see, other than the slightly less reliance on Powershell, but if you've been admining it since 07 you've had to learn it all anyway

Roll on 2016, maybe they'll fix the backend database away from needing the etsutil tools from Ex5. Maybe...

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Living in the middle of a big city? Your broadband may still be crap

Locky

Re: Four Yorkshiremen

I used to dream of having two cups...

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Locky

Re: Four Yorkshiremen

Don't talk to me about sophistication, I've bin to Leeds

... where I max out at 1.9Mb, normally 1.3

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Wealthy London NIMBYs grit teeth, welcome 'ugly' fibre cabinets

Locky
Angel

Re: The answer is simple...

Or paint them white, put a picture of some fruit on there and change people the privilege to live near one

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Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

Locky

Re: Gordon Deitrich

That's rather unfair, in Blackadder Goes Forth, he played a caricature of Field Marshal Haig, who just happens to be identical to all his other characters

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New nuke could POWER WORLD UNTIL 2083

Locky

Now we've got this problem licked

Who's going to start looking into a flux capacitor?

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Watch out, office bods: A backdoor daemon lurks in HP LaserJets

Locky

Well you could hack it for passwords

Or you could just change the "ready" message to "Out of Paper" like everyone else does

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'Wireless charging' in Galaxy S4 will betray Samsung's best pal

Locky

Re: May the best technology win

Errr, remind me, which was the best out of those?

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Locky

Re: Potentially useful but needs a proper standard

Hang on, I just need to practise my surprised face when this happens...

There we go. Carry on

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Ten serious sci-fi films for the sentient fan

Locky
Joke

Oscar winners

If you want an oscar winner, how about Argo. I hear the remake is better than the original

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Locky
Terminator

Missing a few...

Terminator

Back to the Future

1984

The Matrix

The Fly

Inception

Tron

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Bacon sarnies can kill: Official

Locky
Joke

Re: Re:cavemen?

There is no way I fought my way to the top of the food chain to become vegetarian....

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Reg readers brew up the ultimate cuppa

Locky

To confuse things, masala chai

1 inch of ginger, chopped fine

1/3rd cinnamon stick

2 cardamon pods

4 cloves

6 black pepper corns

Crush them all up in a pestle & mortar

Add mixture to 1/2 mug water, 1 mug of semi skimmed milk, 2 sugars and 1/2 teaspoon of loose indian tea

Heat until the milky tea starts to boil over, then lower the heat to a simmer. Repeat 4 times

Strain

Drink, and wait for an English batting collapse

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Indian atomic boffins draw up plans for 50,000 TONNE magnet

Locky

Re: Good to know all that aid money is not being wasted, eh?

By "the previous guy", you mean us, not the Raj

The Bugle put it best - We gave you cricket and the railways. For everything else, we're really, really sorry

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Locky

Re: Good to know all that aid money is not being wasted, eh?

This is a really poor argument, and I'd suggest you have no idea of the scale of India and it's problems

The amount of aid that is given per person per year equated to roughly £10. The fact that they are also investing in international projects which will bring in, hopefully, large capital investment does not mean that the vast majority of the population don't need help.

Your statement is this same as saying, "Those bankers in London, they get paid a fortune. There must be no one poor in Europe"

No icon given, it's not a flippant matter

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BT to slap overalls on 1,000 new bods in fibre broadband boost

Locky

Re: Execellent

Being added means nothing. Mine was supposed to be completed last September

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Twenty classic arcade games

Locky
Childcatcher

And no one's mentioned...

Super Sprint

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Burger King's tweets fried after hijackers pimp Big Macs

Locky
Childcatcher

Hack?

Guessing an insecure password is a hacking now? Really?

Script kids these days don't know they're born etc

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Microsoft flings out emergency patch for Iatest gaping IE hole

Locky

Re: Unfortunately,

Upgrade to IE7? I can name a number of utility companies which still rely on MS DOS and dial up modems...

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What did Capita ITS staff get for Xmas? Elf 'n' safety training

Locky

Compulsary Box Ticking Training

They should be glad they aren't regulated by the FSA.....

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Search engines we have known ... before Google crushed them

Locky

Re: Ah the good old days gone by...

2Gb? I remember being told by my lecturers that there was no way I would ever fill my 170mb drive

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New York invites designers to invent Future of Phone Booths

Locky

Forget Superman

How will Bill and Ted get about now?

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Their One Year Mission: To boldly find the effects of null G on humans

Locky

Subliminal

With the image from the "Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME" story directly above, I read this as a "pair of norks" to be selected

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