Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
156 posts • joined 7 Apr 2010
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
It could make BBC reporting a little more grounded
Or perhaps too many people have seen Mercury Rising, and the probability of Bruce Willis popping round to protect you is slim at best
What it does mean though is that Apple will now start their tax "negotioations" with, "Well Google paid £130m, and they're bigger than us...."
I distinctly remember the morning when I found out that there was a Microsoft feature in early powershell where if a variable returned nul, and you then reference that variable, it selects all rather than nothing.
I had impressivley scripted to set the entire company's Out of Office message to "I have now left the company"
Oh how we laughed....
"However, the operator gained 100,000 more customers during the period"
Who on earth was changing their ISP and thought, "TalkTalk, I've heard of them on the news, they are the supplier I want to be with for the next 2 years?"
The El Reg "Cattle Prod"
/cue flashing lights and Eye of the Tiger theme music...
it's beer o'clock time....
The other two thirds will fail in years six to ten....
Let's hope the Trident submarine commanders still surface to hear The Today Programme rather than just pinging the site, else 2016 could be much shorter than anticipated...
I'm pretty sure I read that a NASA space project has circa 600,000 components, and they class a success as 99.9% of those working, so you expect around 600 things to fail
So if I was Tim, I'd have smashed 599 egg cups on the way to the launch pad.
A massive government IT project, a huge budget, and lots of room for scope-creep.
History will show us that these projects are guaranteed successes and will be delivered on time and on budget
You start by getting a tray...
This guy would destroy the fleet
We've all seen them, the key is not to be involved
Have all my eggs to place in your expertly managed basket.
Who would have thought that this could possibly happen?
Back in the last millennia, I worked for a company who had a server at a customer's site in a London train depot, I was based in Derby
It "stopped working", no power to it at all. Being the lowly trainee at the time I wasn't important to speak to the client myself, but was dispatched on a train to the bright lights to try to resolve the issue, armed with spare PSU and cables.
Arrived on site, lifted the floorbox, and turned the plug back on
Case closed, long lunch on expenses, beers on the train home
Not a chance
The Doctor? Nooooo, I'm just IT Support. He's the one hiding upstairs. Calls himself a timelord but he can't even get his NTP service working right
"DOS will be broken into three lots" should read "DOS will be broken"
My eyes are up here techies
My first job was looking after a twinax network which ran on Novell 3.12 and a OS/2 server with Notes 3. Most days were spent walking around the site working out who had kicked out their network cable.
Admins today, they don't know they're born
And how the US legal system killed off M$'s strategy for the next 5 years.
Coming to a El Reg article near you soon
Or make the batteries hot pluggable and a standard size. Then you pull up to a service station, take yours out, pay, pick up a fully chard module, plug in and drive out
No change to the mass infrastructure, and gives the manufacturers time to develop hydrogen posibilities
I presume coming soon is Hook, Block, and Cover Drive
Mines the one with a copy of Wisden in the pocket
there was some kind of easily accessible media that would explain the consequences of doing this
But that would be just crazy talk
It wah back on by tea, nee bother
When Howard was running things, the age old issues out outsourcing and offshoring...
Our entire payments were run off one of these.
The insides were laced with razor-sharp shards to teach the PFY's of the day to be careful where they put their hands....
A glass will be raised
We don't have ard wata up here. Be away with ya...
From all the ex-pats I know, one of the few things they miss is (legal) access to BBC content. So create a non-UK iPlayer, charge for a login per day / year / program. Boom, instant revenue, no infrastructure change required.
Thanks, I'll take my consultancy fee now
Ah, that's opex, beancounters only care about capex...
Ain't that the truth
I'm here all week, please tip your waitress
Good to see they've hired Paddington for their PR
It's not watching movies on your phone that makes you go blind. Well, some movies...
I look forward to having to take the battery out of the engine every couple of weeks when the OS freaks out
That is all...
This is the point when some clever BOFH's post "Why don't you just use xxxxx, it does everything, and it's free. It even orders your round in at the bar while you wait for the green ticks of completion"
/sits and waits....
Just deploy some ED209's with traffic warden hats. Parking problem goes away in around 20 seconds
My point exactly.
Never overestimate the stupidity of the general public
It's a world of adventures
Brain the size of a planet and they ask me to virtualise servers
"You're forgetting the 3 Rules of Engineering"
1. Always use the correct tool for the job.
2. If it moves and it shouldn't, Hammer
3. It it doesn't move and it should, WD40
Only to be beaten by the ones who send group emails to proclaim that email is down. Gee, thanks.for.that
To be fair, what is science if not witchcraft with clipboards?
It's not like other scientist are developing velociraptor like robots that could combine with this to create the perfect killing machine;
Well lucky for us there's no Skynet-like AI which will allow it to realise that humans are the threat;
You'd hope not, and don't call me Shirley
Clearly a nod toward his Staines Massif
I believe the correct response is "BOOM"