* Posts by BongoJoe

575 posts • joined 3 Apr 2010

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30,000 people buy a box of BOVINE EXCREMENT

BongoJoe
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Re: "...and maybe some beach-front property in Switzerland."

And the other misconception is that the Swiss don't have a navy.

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Microsoft opens smiley-kids jangly guitar doc-maker to all

BongoJoe
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Re: Well, let's see ...

Don't forget the Certification

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Microsoft whips out real-time translator for Skype calls

BongoJoe
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4 Candles

I can't wait to put this sketch's script through it.

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Deprivation Britain: 1930s all over again? Codswallop!

BongoJoe
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This beggers belief. The first is inexcusable on a number of levels: they, firstly, may have staff there who are 'fit to work' only in wheelchairs and, secondly, expecting disabled people to turn up all without wheelchairs is inexplicable.

I take your point about my wife's comments. Her real mistake was to initially think that it was going to be fair and proper. If we'd have known then we'd have said what you suggest.

Best of luck with interview number three.

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BongoJoe
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Re: A shiny unicorn on top of the flowery lawn

It shirely has to be a 70s prog rock album...

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BongoJoe
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Re: The reality

"he spare room subsidy (your use of the term Bedroom Tax shows your political leanings) can be alleviated by asking the council for a new home"

There are problems here. The first is that in a lot of areas there are no smaller houses available. Secondly, if a spare house does become available and you're on benefits just how are they, who have no transport of their own, going to afford to actually move house?

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BongoJoe
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I wish your wife well for the up and coming interview.

However, please be prepared for her to be passed 'fit for work'. When we went some time ago I had to help my wife into the room as she wasn't able to walk unaided that day and she had her arm in a sling due to an operation that she just had.

The retired GP didn't examine her once, she didn't even look at the paperwork from her consultants that she offered him. In fact it would be correct to say that my wife, who was a nurse until her disease struck, was ignored by the ex-GP except when he wanted one word answers.

"Can you walk unaided?"

"Sometimes. But as you can see not today."

"Can you lift both arms above your head?"

"No"

"Can you lift one arm above your head?"

"Just, with great difficulty and a lot of pain"

Passed as fit to work. It seems that my wife is able to work holding a small empty cardboard box. Some days and for only a few minutes an hour. That is, without any trace of irony or exaggeration, what they are looking for. If your wife is able to sit or stand and move an empty box from a surface to her lap or to another surface then she's fit for work.

We got the score back saying how she's fit for work. We looked over the tick box list and we found that it was impossible for my wife to have entered that room and be certified as unfit for work. Well, there was one possibility and that my wife would have had to be double incontinent on the spot to fail the tests and that is assuming that the ex-GP would have reported it.

I am not lying about that previous statement. We've gone over her results and that was the only possible way for her to have got the required points. In short, these tests are designed to determine that everyone who enters that room passes fit.

I wrote a letter outlining the process and my wife's circumstances to the DWP complaining about the inhumanity of it all and how the results were flawed. Months later I received a very poorly photocopied reply from their 'Communications Team' no less saying that they refuse to accept any communications on this matter.

That was perhaps the largest insult of them all. I understand that there is now something starting up in the broadsheets about this whole business and I really hope that more people would learn what is going on.

My earlier post has received a number of downvotes. I have no idea why; whether that they are just trolling, employees of the DWP, have a political axe to grind or refuse to accept what is going on. Hopefully, soon everyone will learn that what happened to us could happen to anyone: before the disease my wife was a hard working senior nurse and was certainly not a dole-scrounger as portrayed by the press and the politcal parties. During the course of her career she looked after thousands of people, helped the dying, looked after the sick, had been attacked a number of times including being stabbed by a patient and when it came to her turn to ask for help no-one was there to help.

What happened to my wife could happen to anyone's. Four years ago she was healthy, fit and able to walk anywhere. Now she can't walk twenty yards and lives each day in pain.

Best of luck with the appointment. As I say, be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.

Regards.

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BongoJoe
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What about the Mark Wood case? That made national news.

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BongoJoe
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Link 1 http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mark-wood-death-government-admits-3298472

Link 2 http://samedifference1.com/2014/10/24/ian-mulholland-sanctioned-starved-jailed

Link 3 http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/05/28/linda-wootton-dies-after-being-judged-fit-for-work_n_3346582.html

Link 4 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2513284/Half-blind-woman-crippled-pain-killed-benefits-bosses-stopped-disability-payments--following-TWO-MINUTE-assessment.html

...plus countless of other suicides caused by benefits being withdrawn.

That I am able to show one link is one link too many.

Now how many more downvotes will this attract? It's a sad indictment that even one person downvotes these messages. I have no idea why unless its an unwillingness to accept what is actually happening to those deemed 'fit to work' by the Government's agents.

Yes, I have a personal interest in this because if something happens to me then my wife, for whom I care for 24 hours a day, who has a crippling and incurable disease and who spends most of each day in agony and is most unable to function is 'fit to work'. We both know that if something happens to me then she will be left to starve as she has no family other than myself.

I do wish that I were wrong and I would prefer that I was lying through my back teeth about all of this but, sadly, I am not. I feel ashamed at what this country has become and I am saddened to see that people see fit to downvote comments such as this.

Not AC because I am standing up for those like my wife who may be left to starve if things go wrong.

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BongoJoe
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Childcatcher

What about those people who have actually starved to death because they were disabled and were found "fit to work"?

Or are we saying that now that they've been culled they're no longer poor?

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HORRIFIED Amazon retailers fear GOING BUST after 1p pricing cockup

BongoJoe
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Re: Shurely

Don't worry ResellerExpress have Clause 2.4 to protect themselves.

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Are you a Geek Dad/Uncle/Mum/Aunt? Ten Techy Gifts for kids this Xmas

BongoJoe
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Re: Olloclip?

Buy one now before Cameron makes it illegal...

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FCC says taxpayer-bankrolled bumpkin broadband must be at least 10Mbps

BongoJoe
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"How does that fly?"

Slowly. It seems.

Alas, I dream of 3 Mb/s...

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

BongoJoe
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This gets even better*

(*sarcasm alert ahoy!)

Not only do you fill the soddng screen up with a picture at the top of the story but, no doublt for those who weren't able to view the photo filling the screen you display the same sodding image again after two lines of text...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/10/16/eu_battle_with_facebook_linkedin_google_etal_moves_to_new_premises/

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BongoJoe
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WTF?

Screen Width

I would like to know what is the advantage of me only using 40% of my screen width for information?

What advantage that I am clearly unaware of is the 60% of snow-white blankness giving me?

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BongoJoe
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Since You're LIstening To Your Users...

What I would like is to go into My Posted Message page and click on a link that you are about to develop that will take me direct to my message so that I can find out if the cockWomble who downvoted my message left a reason why.

If we're going to have a hopeless graphical design at least counter it some way by having an improvement in functionality.

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BongoJoe
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Headmaster

Re: How's this for irony:

Shirely: r/are/were

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BongoJoe
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Metrosexual crap

Stop trying to be so bloody hip and trendy. This is something like the Grauniad would have come up with in the 90s if it had the internet.

Too much space lost on a pointless picture at the top. I want information not wasted bandwidth. If I wanted something presenting low information to bandwidth then I'd go to a marketing consultant site.

You could only make it worse if you changed your tagline to "Providing a Solution to biting the hand that feeds IT"

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Searching to destroy ... Bing? Facebook JILTS Microsoft

BongoJoe
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Does this article...

...really need a picture of an interrupted bonking duo sized about A5 on the screen?

Yes, we all do understand the pithy wit of El Reg but do these pictures which have little to do with the article have to be so bloody big?

For kerrist's sake, find the plot once again will you?

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Put me through to Buffy's room, please. Sony hackers leak stars' numbers, travel aliases

BongoJoe
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Alex Lifeson

Surely in room 2112...

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No more free Windows... and now it’s all about the services

BongoJoe
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Coat

Paid For Services

If any of these Paid For Services include Service Packs, Updates, Security Plugs and the like then looking at the very recent history of these I think I will be far, far better off by not subscribing to these.

At the moment I would prefer to pay not to receive any improvements from Microsoft.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Windows in kit form?

Are you describing an operating system or a Pay To Win MMO game?

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Microsoft pulls a patch and offers PHANTOM FIX for the mess

BongoJoe
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Childcatcher

Re: Anyone else having trouble with the latest batch of Office updates?

It looks like that this KB2553154 messed it up.

It's mangled any Active-X control on the workbook so that they aren't visible by code. It's a real show-stopper.

Nice one, Redmond.

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Microsoft says January Windows 10 build will excite sysadmins

BongoJoe
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Excitement

This raeminds me of my father describing war to me: "99 percent boredom and 1 percent excitement".

Of course he meant sheer hell and terror but I always admired his ironic use of words such as "the best thing about being in bomb disposal was there there was never an officer breathing down your neck as you got on with your work."

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Plusnet customers SWAMPED by spam but BT-owned ISP dismisses data breach claims

BongoJoe
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If you are with PlusNet and never noticed anything untoward with your connection or service then why consider changing?

Clearly you must have been no less happy when it was Broadband Run From tMills.

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UK.gov mulls three-point turn on three-point turn thanks to satnav. Weeeeeeee. THUD

BongoJoe
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Re: How About Three Point Turn in a narrow lane/muddy field, etc.?

I have lost count of the number of cars which come to my cottage courtesy of a sat nav. The best recently being a massive truck towing an electricity company's 'comfort station' which had a kitchen, a rest area and a toilet.

The driver was less than pleased with me that the real life topography of me, my cottage at the end of a long steep and narrow lane didn't match his satnav's false sense of reality.

Mind you, not as much fun as my mate in the petrol station had recently. He watched the vice police commissioner being driven up a footpath up the local hill because the pratnav gave the wrong directions to the Mountain Rescue depot. Apparantly cue much crashing about in the woods on the hillside in the mud with a large drop on one side for ages until the car emerged looking somewhat worse for wear before then going up the correct track.

I hope we don't need to rely on Plod to arrive in an emergency.

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Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows

BongoJoe
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Re: Missing 2 things...

+1 from me for TeraCopy.

Not only is it a million times faster (give or take) copying large amounts of files especially over a network but one can skip copying files that already exist.

When I am setting up a new machine and am copying folders by the ton from another machine it's the first thing that I install to make my life that much easier.

Then there's one application which is great at doing folder back ups to NAS files. Again, this is a free version of a paid product, but SyncBackFree is simply a super little back-up app for files and folders.

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Bladerunner sequel might actually be good. Harrison Ford is in it

BongoJoe
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Re Replicant

I saw one of the many directors cuts and in that one it was clear which were the replicants; they all had glowing eyes. Deckard's eyes were the same.

It sort of killed it for me and that version didn't have the majesty of the original release.

The bolt on bit -- that was from the operning sequence of The Shining, wasn't it?

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Patch NOW! Microsoft slings emergency bug fix at Windows admins

BongoJoe
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Re: Slack

"Cobblers old chap. Buggy software and programming has been around since the Difference Engine and even further back to the abacus."

The henges near here haven't had the Y2K patches applied yet. And I have these bits of bluestone ready to go but will someone come to collect and install them?

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Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review

BongoJoe
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The marketing division of Ryan Air may be sending you a Christmas hamper for that suggestion.

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Internet Society slams online 'UN Security Council' plan, snubs permanent seat offer

BongoJoe
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Re: Nothing to worry about here...

Just a thought. If it's an internet committee why can't they just teleconference in from home?

Or would the fact that this would offer limit opportunites for junkets, posh hotels and hookers on expense accounts make this a non-starter?

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UK digi exclusion: Poor families without internet access could 'miss out' on child tax credit

BongoJoe
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Re: no friends with any computer literacy ?

I see your point but it's not simply a case of having access. It's also understanding that they need access and what they can do with it.

Imagine a seventy year old widow living alone up the top of one of the Yorkshire Dales, or even someone on the rimward edge of the Llyn Peninsula who can't speak English. The first thing they have to comprehend is that they have to go 'online'.

Most of these people that I meet simply don't understand the concept of 'online' at all. I have elderly relatives who are a little fortunate in that they can speak some English but to them and their friends this 'online' is something to do with the television, isn't it?

They're used to writing letters in longhand, or even typing it them out on a portable typewriter with carbon paper for copies, when they are dealing with official bodies and their communication, either via phone (which won't be a tone dialling handset either but will, confusingly have buttons) or it's by letter.

These are the sort of people which won't understand what an internet is, why they should be on it and when they get to a neighbour's house who may have a PlayStation know what to do next.

As usual, this is an ill-thought out policy made my people in offices who make all the wrong assumptions. And they do this time and time again.

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UK PM Cameron says Internet must not 'be an ungoverned space'

BongoJoe
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Re: Most "bad stuff" is hosted overseas

Yes, and liberate their oil too.

Just for safe keeping until they ask for it back at the end of school term

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BongoJoe
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Re: ISPs?

Why the ISPs? They're not hosting the stuff.

It's like asking newsagents to spot dodgy newspapers when it should be the publishers, if anyone at all. If I get something I don't like in the post it's not the postman's job or responsiblity it's the sender/host.

And with web pages I find that, as a rule, if I go to a web page then I usually wish to go there in the first place. So I am hardly likely to report it, am I?

If these web pages are freely available to be stumbled upon via the likes of Google (or even Bing! on a good day) then there is more than an even's chance that GCHQ has been there already. So there would be no need for a Jihad Button.

If the web page is on the dark net and I am wanting to go there then the Cameron Jihad Ahoy button won't be pressed at all.

None of what he says makes any sense whatsoever. Then again, he is a politician.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Free and Open

"And no, I don't mean Russell "lets revolt, parklife" Brand"

Someone recebtly told me that he's a comedian. Honest.

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BongoJoe
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Re: @ moiety

"And who decides what is extremist? That sounds like an idea that will go badly wrong."

We've got over 200 hundred countries using the internet in one way or another. Each will have their own view of extremist activity.

When one filters the internet through 200 sets of filters not even a picture of a cat will get through.

The day will come when there will be lots of different internets one for each of the two hundred filters. I dread to think what we would get if we left this to Cameron's chums; one of which is Ms Brookes.

Time to emigrate again...

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BBC clamps down on ILLICIT iPlayer watchers

BongoJoe
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Re: This will only drive people into piracy

I would argue that isn't piracy.

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Would you recognise the Vans shoes logo? Neither would Euro trademark bods

BongoJoe
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Does anyone serious use their own shoes to go skating? Oh, I did in the early 70s when mine clagged onto my old school shoes (no-one had trainers in those days) but today's skates seem to have a shoe built onto the skatte.

And, yes, I am less fashionable conscious than the 'least fashionable conscious' chap above. Something, perhaps, to do with my genitals being external.

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UK smart meters arrive in 2020. Hackers have ALREADY found a flaw

BongoJoe
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Re: The questions of communications

If they try to connect it to my router then it will be blocked at the firewall.

And as for mobile phone communication. Well, not here by a long chalk.

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MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer

BongoJoe
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Even though it would give one a lower chance of prostate cancer but in a small community like ours it would also vastly increase the chances of mortality by shotgun wounds...

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‘For the love of Pete, America, learn about decent chocolate’

BongoJoe
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Remember cliché-uttering yanks, beer that is not cold is a GOOD thing. If you need to chill it to make it drinkable then there is something wrong with the taste. Or yours.

Halleluyah!

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Google Glassholes are UNDATEABLE – HP exec

BongoJoe
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"no woman in her right mind would let a Glasshole anywhere near her data centre"

Now I've heard it called everything.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The classic being the serial i/o port.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Downvotes

I would have thought that they still would have had one hand free?

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Adobe spies on readers: EVERY DRM page turn leaked to base over SSL

BongoJoe
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Terminator

Re: How does Adobe stay in business?

Dreamweaver.

You are right, there is no alternative if one wishes an over bloated application on one's desktop making overbloated web pages which are full of JaveScript just to publish "Hello, World"

Perhaps there is no similar product to NightmareTangler because no-one else wishes to make something like that.

The only things that I can't find an alternative of theirs is Lightroom and Elements. I have nothing else of theirs on my machine.

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French 'terror law' declares WAR on the INTERNET itself, say digi-rights folks

BongoJoe
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Re: Participating in terrorist activities

Or as my father discovered in the heady days of the early to mid forties, that outside of Communist France they were being blown up to stop the advance of the allied forces.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Who defines terrorist ?

Anyone deliberately and on purpose attacking a civilian non-combatant target by definition is a terrorist.

Goodness, if civilian non-combatants include South American electricians and newspaper vendors then there's plenty of these terrorists afoot.

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Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)

BongoJoe
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There's a nought missing

A box of Booje Booje lasts five minutes around the missus. So one box a day can't be seen as unlikely if it were on offer.

That works out at well over two grand a year.

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Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody

BongoJoe
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Thanks

I get a number of book recommendations here, the last being the excellent THE MARTIAN, and equally there's books to be avoided.

This appears to be one of them for which I may be eternally grateful.

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Banksy puts down spray can, goes corporate in banksy.com cybersquat brouhaha

BongoJoe
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Re: Sad state...

Street graffiti goes corporate. So when is the IPO set for? I have a mental image of a street artist surrounded by guys in suits... the lawyer, the PR guy, some staff... he's painting and they're having a meeting.

And in that meeting they're discussing Banky being laid off and the graffiti operations outsourced to India.

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Auntie hires API firm to manage new online BBC Store

BongoJoe
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Re: Canada calling. Where can I send in my License Fee?

And don't forget all the pointless talent shows that you could ever wish for, cookery programmes galore and lots of cheap programmes encouraging you to sell your heirlooms at knock down prices to some conman in a funny hat and bow tie.

And next to no sport neither.

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