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* Posts by BongoJoe

547 posts • joined 3 Apr 2010

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Patch NOW! Microsoft slings emergency bug fix at Windows admins

BongoJoe
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Re: Slack

"Cobblers old chap. Buggy software and programming has been around since the Difference Engine and even further back to the abacus."

The henges near here haven't had the Y2K patches applied yet. And I have these bits of bluestone ready to go but will someone come to collect and install them?

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Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review

BongoJoe
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The marketing division of Ryan Air may be sending you a Christmas hamper for that suggestion.

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Internet Society slams online 'UN Security Council' plan, snubs permanent seat offer

BongoJoe
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Re: Nothing to worry about here...

Just a thought. If it's an internet committee why can't they just teleconference in from home?

Or would the fact that this would offer limit opportunites for junkets, posh hotels and hookers on expense accounts make this a non-starter?

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UK digi exclusion: Poor families without internet access could 'miss out' on child tax credit

BongoJoe
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Re: no friends with any computer literacy ?

I see your point but it's not simply a case of having access. It's also understanding that they need access and what they can do with it.

Imagine a seventy year old widow living alone up the top of one of the Yorkshire Dales, or even someone on the rimward edge of the Llyn Peninsula who can't speak English. The first thing they have to comprehend is that they have to go 'online'.

Most of these people that I meet simply don't understand the concept of 'online' at all. I have elderly relatives who are a little fortunate in that they can speak some English but to them and their friends this 'online' is something to do with the television, isn't it?

They're used to writing letters in longhand, or even typing it them out on a portable typewriter with carbon paper for copies, when they are dealing with official bodies and their communication, either via phone (which won't be a tone dialling handset either but will, confusingly have buttons) or it's by letter.

These are the sort of people which won't understand what an internet is, why they should be on it and when they get to a neighbour's house who may have a PlayStation know what to do next.

As usual, this is an ill-thought out policy made my people in offices who make all the wrong assumptions. And they do this time and time again.

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UK PM Cameron says Internet must not 'be an ungoverned space'

BongoJoe
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Re: Most "bad stuff" is hosted overseas

Yes, and liberate their oil too.

Just for safe keeping until they ask for it back at the end of school term

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BongoJoe
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Re: ISPs?

Why the ISPs? They're not hosting the stuff.

It's like asking newsagents to spot dodgy newspapers when it should be the publishers, if anyone at all. If I get something I don't like in the post it's not the postman's job or responsiblity it's the sender/host.

And with web pages I find that, as a rule, if I go to a web page then I usually wish to go there in the first place. So I am hardly likely to report it, am I?

If these web pages are freely available to be stumbled upon via the likes of Google (or even Bing! on a good day) then there is more than an even's chance that GCHQ has been there already. So there would be no need for a Jihad Button.

If the web page is on the dark net and I am wanting to go there then the Cameron Jihad Ahoy button won't be pressed at all.

None of what he says makes any sense whatsoever. Then again, he is a politician.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Free and Open

"And no, I don't mean Russell "lets revolt, parklife" Brand"

Someone recebtly told me that he's a comedian. Honest.

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BongoJoe
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Re: @ moiety

"And who decides what is extremist? That sounds like an idea that will go badly wrong."

We've got over 200 hundred countries using the internet in one way or another. Each will have their own view of extremist activity.

When one filters the internet through 200 sets of filters not even a picture of a cat will get through.

The day will come when there will be lots of different internets one for each of the two hundred filters. I dread to think what we would get if we left this to Cameron's chums; one of which is Ms Brookes.

Time to emigrate again...

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BBC clamps down on ILLICIT iPlayer watchers

BongoJoe
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Re: This will only drive people into piracy

I would argue that isn't piracy.

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Would you recognise the Vans shoes logo? Neither would Euro trademark bods

BongoJoe
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Does anyone serious use their own shoes to go skating? Oh, I did in the early 70s when mine clagged onto my old school shoes (no-one had trainers in those days) but today's skates seem to have a shoe built onto the skatte.

And, yes, I am less fashionable conscious than the 'least fashionable conscious' chap above. Something, perhaps, to do with my genitals being external.

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UK smart meters arrive in 2020. Hackers have ALREADY found a flaw

BongoJoe
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Re: The questions of communications

If they try to connect it to my router then it will be blocked at the firewall.

And as for mobile phone communication. Well, not here by a long chalk.

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MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer

BongoJoe
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Even though it would give one a lower chance of prostate cancer but in a small community like ours it would also vastly increase the chances of mortality by shotgun wounds...

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‘For the love of Pete, America, learn about decent chocolate’

BongoJoe
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Remember cliché-uttering yanks, beer that is not cold is a GOOD thing. If you need to chill it to make it drinkable then there is something wrong with the taste. Or yours.

Halleluyah!

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Google Glassholes are UNDATEABLE – HP exec

BongoJoe
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"no woman in her right mind would let a Glasshole anywhere near her data centre"

Now I've heard it called everything.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The classic being the serial i/o port.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Downvotes

I would have thought that they still would have had one hand free?

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Adobe spies on readers: EVERY DRM page turn leaked to base over SSL

BongoJoe
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Terminator

Re: How does Adobe stay in business?

Dreamweaver.

You are right, there is no alternative if one wishes an over bloated application on one's desktop making overbloated web pages which are full of JaveScript just to publish "Hello, World"

Perhaps there is no similar product to NightmareTangler because no-one else wishes to make something like that.

The only things that I can't find an alternative of theirs is Lightroom and Elements. I have nothing else of theirs on my machine.

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French 'terror law' declares WAR on the INTERNET itself, say digi-rights folks

BongoJoe
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Re: Participating in terrorist activities

Or as my father discovered in the heady days of the early to mid forties, that outside of Communist France they were being blown up to stop the advance of the allied forces.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Who defines terrorist ?

Anyone deliberately and on purpose attacking a civilian non-combatant target by definition is a terrorist.

Goodness, if civilian non-combatants include South American electricians and newspaper vendors then there's plenty of these terrorists afoot.

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Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)

BongoJoe
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There's a nought missing

A box of Booje Booje lasts five minutes around the missus. So one box a day can't be seen as unlikely if it were on offer.

That works out at well over two grand a year.

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Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody

BongoJoe
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Thanks

I get a number of book recommendations here, the last being the excellent THE MARTIAN, and equally there's books to be avoided.

This appears to be one of them for which I may be eternally grateful.

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Banksy puts down spray can, goes corporate in banksy.com cybersquat brouhaha

BongoJoe
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Re: Sad state...

Street graffiti goes corporate. So when is the IPO set for? I have a mental image of a street artist surrounded by guys in suits... the lawyer, the PR guy, some staff... he's painting and they're having a meeting.

And in that meeting they're discussing Banky being laid off and the graffiti operations outsourced to India.

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Auntie hires API firm to manage new online BBC Store

BongoJoe
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Re: Canada calling. Where can I send in my License Fee?

And don't forget all the pointless talent shows that you could ever wish for, cookery programmes galore and lots of cheap programmes encouraging you to sell your heirlooms at knock down prices to some conman in a funny hat and bow tie.

And next to no sport neither.

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Bono apologises for iTunes album dump

BongoJoe
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Re: Vote

If you're going that route I would hope a certain T Blair plays some sort of instrument too so I can include him. Air guitar, I think - can't see this man touch anything with real substance..

He has let a few pictures of himself with a Stratocaster be released. No doubt to show that he's cool and one of the people.

No dobut he'll soon claim that he played along with Jimi Hendrix in much the same way he used to watch Milburn play.

Oh, I have thought of another name: Lars Ulrich.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Vote

Good point.

That's the second mistake I have made this morning. I suspect that the wife has put something soft and organic in the coffee machine this morning as my brain synapses aren't firing right.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Vote

You're making me waste most of this glofious morning trying to figure who these other nine could be.

Well, after hearing Bryan Adams interviewed on Radio 2 the other week that's perhaps one slot filled and perhaps another with that bloke from the Manics who turned up stoned to the station.

And now it's getting difficult.

So come on, suggestions. I think we have a new game...

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Lights off, nappies on! It's Alien: Isolation and The Evil Within

BongoJoe
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I saw the preview and I am afraid that I am going to have to give this a miss. Not because of how it looks but the fact that I am still a gibbering wreck from playing the first Bioshock and there's no way that I am going to cope with this.

Yours hiding behind the sofa watching old Dr Who reruns...

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Don't wait for that big iPad, order a NEXUS 9 instead, industry little bird says

BongoJoe
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I've jumped the gun and got the Hudl 2 and am right impressed with it.

Yes, Tesco ads on one 'screen' but I can live with that as the screen is far superior to the Nexus 7s here (both MkI and II).

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Right, suits off: Windows 10 preview Internet Explorer is here

BongoJoe
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Re: biiig problem...

I'm curious. Why the downvote?

Have I said something erroneous or does the fact that some of my clients aren't using this latest week's Shiny offending someone?

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BongoJoe
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Re: biiig problem...

This then could be the sole reason for me not to upgrade. I do a lot of work with Visual Studio 6 because the Real World still uses it. And ths means that my Firefox downloader can't be later than IE9.

What a mess.

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You can ring my #bellogate. EMAIL STORM hits 29,000 hapless UCL students

BongoJoe
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Headmaster

Re: I work for a large company...

HR - those that practice it are barely smart enough to spell it

Shouldn't it be practise ?

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Adobe spies on readers: 'EVERY page you turn, EVERY book you own' leaked back to base

BongoJoe
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Re: 192.150.16.235

Thanks for that; that's gone into the every enlarging HOSTS file.

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BongoJoe
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192.150.16.235

One for the firewall, methinks.

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TalkTalk and Three want to make it easier to switch mobe networks

BongoJoe
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Re: PAYG wins

One of the reasons why I went PAYG. And if one is really cheesed off then just change the SIM and number and tell your chums your new one and off you go.

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Coming to a theater near you: the TETRIS MOVIE

BongoJoe
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Re: So Battleship 2, is it then?

...so, it's not the only way to be sure!

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SPECIAL iPHONE TROUSERS will ease Apple into the fashion world

BongoJoe
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Re: Incompatability

What about the small of the back?

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A moment of brilliance? UPnP for Internet of Stuff lightbulbs

BongoJoe
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I can imagine going to replace a light bulb... And then find I need Administrator Rights.

It's not uncommon here after a power cut (thank you, Tom Jones -- no not that one) for my wifi to bork and various devices forget what they are connected to and even access points do something silly and it can take a while for me to get the network up and running right. Especially with words of encouragement from the wife who can't get onto Pinterest.

Imagine then all the thermostats, light bulbs, door catches, cat flaps, car engine starters, car engine stoppers and fridges all losing the House Cloud.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Making things simple

I can see this sort of utopian existance where we're all not living in ticky tack houses where we're all living the utopian dream in which technology knows so much about our lives that we don't need to program it and, yet, when we fall out of the routine for any reason then Plans B, C & D spring into action saving our lives.

It won't work like that. What will happen is that we'll be ruled more and more by technology, that we're all living in ticky tack estates and all forced into the same drone like nine to fives in our work hives rather than being liberated by technology.

I'm lucky, I guess. I work for myself at home working the hours that I want for the few customers that I wish to have. If I don't want to work one day then I don't. I find my life so much more liberated and more pleasant than those laden down with devices, wearable hipster beards and all of the other techno-crud purely because I do "get it" and I have chosen not to go with it.

The whole point, we are told time and time again, is that technology is there to make our lves better. Yes, I admit that we can watch better televsion these days and surf the internets without having dial-up but when it comes to being tethered to the technological wheel with phones needed to open the door or turn on the lights and all the other wonderful advances that we're promised I can guarantee one thing and that is we won't find our lives more liberated but things will be more proscribed and restrictive.

This is why I, and I dare say some others, are laughing at all this. And I bring to mind that Philip Dick novel in which Our Man couldn't leave the room because he couldn't pay the door. Or in this case because the House Cloud is down.

The House Cloud? We're going back in time aren't we to when the Romans had their House Gods. Be much the same thing.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Making things simple

When you leave in the morning your car has already warmed up, your heating turns down to frost mode and all the lights adn non essential electrics switch off.

You have a streaming cold. You are shivering, you can't focus and you can't think straight because the brain isn't functioning. Every joint in your body aches and you can barely shuffle around.

You wisely take the day off work and lie in bed listening to the radio with the bedside lamp on. The lamp goes off, the radio goes off the house becomes dark. It's getting colder and colder and you need to get warm.

And then, you hear the car start up...

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BongoJoe
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Re: Making things simple

Do you still get out of your chair to push buttons on your TV and DVD players or do you use a remote control?

When entering a darkened room do you reach for the light switch or a phone?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Making things simple

3) the ability to turn my heating on or off by remote control

Now I would buy into this for sure. You know on those dark, cold wintry days when you realise that the firewood is in the barn and needs chopping and there's none by the side of the fire.

If it could somehow chop the wood, bring it in, sort out the dry kindling and get a good blazing fire going in the stove then I would gladly allow the app on my phone.

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BongoJoe
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It's bad enough having to go to the next town to change the bulb in the kitchen of my ancestor when it pops. Having to deal with the in-house cloud is going to take things to a disfunctional level which only Philip K Dick could dream of.

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Cable guy, Games of Thrones chap team up to make Reg 'best sci-fi film never made' reject

BongoJoe
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Which is why the Gap books are so good. One really develops a feeling (mostly of distaste) for everyone.

Moreover it's a sign of a good book when, years later, one can still remember the main characters' names.

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BongoJoe
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Re: The Martian

Thank you for the suggestion you two and Amazon Prime for delivering it tomorrow.

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BongoJoe
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I would love someone to have the guts to make Donaldson's THE GAP SERIES for the small screen.

Assuming, that is, the DVD wouldn't be sold in a plain brown wrapper in the countries where it wouldn't be banned.

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One million people have bonked on London public transport

BongoJoe
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Now this explains the state of the seats...

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Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

BongoJoe
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Well, they could go further and shove in stuff like "-ENU" that they use on their server products to really confuse us all.

Whatever they call it, unless it does backward compatability in a backward and compatible manner then I won't touch it.

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Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

BongoJoe
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Re: Not unique

I also thought that the De Koninck brewery in Antwerpen also did this.

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Stunned by Shellshock Bash bug? Patch all you can – or be punished

BongoJoe
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Revenue

So, whilst being thorough in one's investigations and not download the first patch that one comes across could well lead to one being fined.

Sometimes I think that these bodies are all about revenue gathering rather than being there to provide advice and support to those who need it.

Not everyone who hosts a server, this could be anyone on the end of a fixed IP address (and in fact not necessarily that), has the knowledge to understand all this stuff but enough to host their own stuff and threatening them with fines isn't really the way forward.

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Hackers thrash Bash Shellshock bug: World races to cover hole

BongoJoe
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Re: It's getting worse

No doubt that the editorial team consultated Stephen Fry for technical guidance...

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