* Posts by BongoJoe

749 posts • joined 3 Apr 2010

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What's Meg Whitman fussing over: The fate of HP ... or the font on a DISRUPTIVE new logo?

BongoJoe
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Re: thanks for that link

I understand that Mangement Types are no longer permitted to use the phrase 'brain storm' as it may cause offence to those with seizures or something.

And where, pray, is Low Hanging Fruit?

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BongoJoe
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Coat

"Freedom from external control or influence"

It clearly symbolises the above.

You know, as in 'Autonomy'.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Green Rectangle

That perhaps what exactly what it is.

Bearded hipster designer dude spent too long getting his flappy frappe coffee from bearded barista before sending over a screenshot of his design masterpiece and all HP received was this.

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Selfie sticks BANNED by Apple: No hipster tools' tools allowed at WWDC

BongoJoe
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Re: Can someone sum up the article for me...

I keep getting confused at the 'ecosystem' part; I then start to think of what's in my garden pond.

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Struggling through the Crystal Maze in our hunt for a spare CAT5

BongoJoe
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Bell

Years ago, before they knocked it down, I used to work in Bell Telephone in Antwerp and the first we'd know of a move would be when a Jobsworth (he would be the one with the small greasy moustache) and a Workman (the fellow with a brown overall) would turn up at your desk.

Jobsworth would look at his clipboard in an officious manner and whisper something to the Workman who would clag a sticker on your desk corner marked something like "18/F/12" and walk off.

You knew that you were about to be moved.

There was no point in asking the Workman where you were going as he didn't know and the Jobsworth wouldn't tell you. "It's not possible", he would say in his Flenglish and move on and put another sticker on someone else's desk.

We may still be working for the same department but we could end up anywhere. And usually did.

And did our department manager know of this move? No. It was all down to some mysterious department somewhere else which decided these things and when we landed in the new place we'd either carry on as before or see if the manager of those around us wanted a new body on his team.

Little wonder that they knocked the place down.

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Videogame publishers to fans: Oi, freetard! STOP RESURRECTING our dead titles online

BongoJoe
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If Cyan, or whomever, updated the Myst cycle so that they worked on modern machines and without QuickCrashTime then I'd be willing to pay good money for it.

Otherwise, I'm with the freetards.

Yours, etc, lost in a maze of twisty passages.

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Oh, hi there, SKYNET: US military wants self-enhancing software that will outlive its creators

BongoJoe
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ADA

Wasn't this the purpose of this strange Algol derived monstrosity?

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BongoJoe
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What happens when the military have new hardware to lob at people? New communications techniques and methods? Nothing is going to remain static for 50 years unless they write code which handles today's equivilent of teletypes and keep them supported whilst newer stuff comes along.

This sounds like a committee from hell being formed.

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El Reg offers you the chance to become a Master Investor – for free

BongoJoe
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Re: @ dogged

The fact that it's in London alienates me.

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Microsoft uses Windows Update to force Windows 10 ads onto older PCs

BongoJoe
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Re: Strange

I've just nuked the update service. That's more reliable in the long term.

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Ex-cop: Holborn fireball comms outage cover for £200m bling heist gang

BongoJoe
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Re: Hollywood Eat Your Heart Out

The strange thing is that I just watched the excellent Belgian series, Salamander, the night before this news broke...

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Streaming tears of laughter as Jay-Z (Tidal) waves goodbye to $56m

BongoJoe
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Re: Streaming? more like Steaming

I find it annoying when the original vinyl album's track order changed for CD and then it just sounded plain wrong

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Microsoft drops Do Not Track default from Internet Explorer

BongoJoe
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Pint

Re: No

I'd trust any server-side DNT as much as I would a Welshman at a sheepfarm

Says a Mr Jones. Care to share something with us?

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Dot-com intimidation forces Indiana to undo hated anti-gay law

BongoJoe
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Re: I wonder how they're going to know?

I am more concerned about pizza being served for the wedding breakfast.

Refusal in this case is in the interests of good taste.

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Project Spartan: We get our claws on Microsoft's browser for Windows 10

BongoJoe
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> Sebastian a

I just can't imagine that Microsoft will make their searching less than painfully slow. Back in the earlier days of Windows their search engine was dreadful and had an interesting concept of what indexing in the background means.

If I want to search for a file name, or part of a name, then may I recommend the free utility called Everything?

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$250K: That's what Lenovo earned to RAT YOU OUT with Superfish

BongoJoe
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Re: Suckerfish

Nobody remembers anything any more. It won't hurt them for more than a week - if that.

Well, there is still the Ratners' Effect which sometimes plays its trump card.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Heads will roll?

I will never buy another Sony again after they threatened to sue me for buying a laptop in the US and then daring to to try to register it with a non-US address so that I could get technical support for it under their 'worldwide warranty'.

Over the years following the Sony television was replaced by another brand, the home cinema amp was replaced, the digital camera was replaced and so on...

The rootkit palaver happened after this time and that would have been the final straw for me if I were still using Sony gear as I consider this Superfish to be more misguided than Sony's rootkit which was, as far as I am concerned, intentional and downright evil.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Heads will roll?

Really? If Lenovo follows through on their statement about no longer pre-loading bloatware going forward, that would keep them on my shortlist.

Ditto here as I rather like the hardware. Then again I do blast the machine with a new operating system when it comes out of the box.

Of course the problems we face today are now in the BIOS...

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Flak for Slack chaps in yak app hack flap: User database whacked

BongoJoe
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"Slack policy and compliance strategy..."

Quite.

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BongoJoe
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By the owners' mums

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Europe could be drowned in 'worthless pop culture' thanks to EU copyright plans

BongoJoe
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Re: "Partially worthless"

That's even worse than totally unique !

Aren't MAC addresses, for example, supposed to be 'mostly unique'? After all, there have been instances of identical unique addresses found in the wild.

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BongoJoe
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Re: "People speak different languages, the group reminded Kommissar Ansip"

Cymraeg?

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Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face

BongoJoe
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Re: M&S

On the other hand I have never understood how people with feet sized smaller than 10 can stand up in strong winds.

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BongoJoe
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Headmaster

I have slight arthritis in my back. Does that make me a 'nobend' as well?

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NASA: We're gonna rip up an ASTEROID and make it ORBIT the MOON

BongoJoe
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Re: I've seen this movie...

Shirley wrong icon?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Nah! What we really need is...

I looked at that picture and thought "Fwoar! Angela Rippon" and then "oooh, look at all those PDPs"*

Clearly I am showing my age. Nurse, the Bromide!

*Whether they are or not.

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No, really, the $17,000 Apple Watch IS all about getting your leg over

BongoJoe
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I can see this being grounds for rape in a twisted universe not far enough away from here

"M'Lud he gave me the impression that his Rolex was solid gold so, thusly, he shagged me on false pretences because I wouldn't have consented"

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Document Foundation pledges Office 365 and Google Docs challenger

BongoJoe
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Re: Nice but...

Is that with, or without, GCHQ/NSA?

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Microsoft's three-way only goes one way: Backends merge into Azure App Service

BongoJoe
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Re: This is a great innovation

Living in North Wales my experiences of clouds is that they are there so that I can get regularly pissed on.

The Cloud seems to have been built with the same philosophy

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Hello? Police? Yes, I'm a car and my idiot driver's crashed me

BongoJoe
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Re: Does the EU include Wales?

My lane to the main road (also in Wales) has no mobile coverage due to mountains being nearby and, secondly, isn't on any maps.

So if I run into Tom Jones'* bloody sheep and cause my airbags to pop would the car think that I was driving in his field?

(* No, not that one. The other one)

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You – yes, YOU – can now 3D print your very own Paul McCartney

BongoJoe
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Re: Not working?

Comments like that will leave you without a leg to stand on.

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BongoJoe
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Re: What's with the dislike?

A lot of people disliked him for lots of reasons over the years.

I can think of a few.

1. Living on his reputation as a Beatle and dishing out second rate songs when he should have gone into silent retirement. The list of the offending works is too long to mention.

2. Being a man of the People and wanting to charge Liverpool an insane amount of money to play at one of their City of Culture gigs and then saying that he was proud to play for the city (which is an euphamism for a fat cheque).

3. Closing down all concession stalls at stadiums which had a right to be there on the ground they sold hamburgers and the like without offering compensation. Imposing his Veggie Fascist ideals onto others gets a downvote from me all the time. By all means be veggie but don't close down omnivoric outlets.

4. For just being generally crap and tiresome of late.

He was good as a Beatle but that was millions of years ago in another geological age. Now he's not.

Cue downvotes from mop-topped thumbs up gesticulants

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BongoJoe
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Mushroom

This is excellent and just what I really need...

...for target practise.

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Web geeks grant immortality to Sir Terry Pratchett – using smuggled web code

BongoJoe
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Re: Unexpected benefit

Indeed have an upvote from me.

I used 'Silent Clack' because using a clack is more or less like using a morse key and when a member of the RSGB (Radio Society of Great Britain) passed on their obituary was marked in the magazine column entitled "Silent Keys".

Yes, a little contrived, but there you have it.

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BongoJoe
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Unexpected benefit

When I am bashing out ASP pages I sometimes* forget if I am looking at a live page hosted elsewhere or whether I am looking at the page on my test IIS rig.

Now with this added to the IIS server I can see at a glance if I am looking at a live page or not. The live page will, of course, have a silent clack.

(* i.e. most of the time)

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Vince Cable opens hipster-friendly London tech creche

BongoJoe
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Re: "greater innovation and greater synthesis"

It does rather sound as if the taglinee developed an improved version of LSD in their basement laboratory.

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Watchdog slaps American Apparel's youthful naked arse

BongoJoe
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Re: AA scores again

Do you remember when Madonna, faced with underwhelming sales of her book, Sex, reported it to the Obscene Publications mob?

That also didn't work.

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Telly chef Jamie Oliver in embarrassing infection double shocker

BongoJoe
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Re: Safe Site

Okay, I will bite.

If a site only serves text and images produced by the site owner and doesn't have any third party plug ins, adverts, trackers, analytics or what have we -- how can it not be safe?

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Musk: 'Tesla's electric Model S cars will be less crap soon. I PROMISE'

BongoJoe
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Windows

Microsoft

Let's hope that they're not producting this patch.

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Universal Credit could take 10 YEARS to finish, says Labour MP

BongoJoe
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Re: Ah

Sarah, I am much in the same boat as yourself (I believe that I have replied to one of your posts on a similar topic in the past). However, the overall concept of Universal Credit is a good one.

Or rather, the concept as promised is good. The implementation is terrible as is a lot of the promises and various sleights of hand which is going on.

In a fair and decent United Kingdom this would be implemented properly.

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Gamers! Ransomware will scramble your save files unless you cough up $1,000

BongoJoe
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AV

although the malware backs off if it detects the presence of some antivirus packages,

It would be interesting to see which packages causes it to back off.

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$17,000 Apple Watch: Pointless bling, right? HA! You're WRONG

BongoJoe
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Re: The difference is …

Two years, max, and you will want to replace your Apple Watch with its replacement, which has more memory, runs faster,

Runs faster?

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BongoJoe
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Re: That mailing list

"One figure caught my eye 'paid for but never delivered' was 26%. She thought this was a disgrace, I saw it as a brilliant sector we should be working hard to get into!"

The NHS IT project would have been one.

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Kaspersky claims to have found NSA's 'space station malware'

BongoJoe
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So, Kaspersky

Can you remove this code and not replace it by anything written by anyone east of the Urals?

And, more to the point. Where does this stuff come from?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Late starts?

That's us then?

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Consumers beware! Ofcom's seen a scary new mobe nasty: APPS

BongoJoe
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Re: Sorry about this but...

already what?

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Diablo fingered in offensive ASCII art trial doc shock

BongoJoe
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I remember an old issue of White Dwarf in which the contents page was arranged to provide a message to the management by outgoing employees in a similar manner.

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Crap employers banned from enforcing backdoor crim records checks

BongoJoe
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And then what?

So you apply to get your own data. What then? You have done as the employer requests and who is to say that you have to hand over the same data or indeed that you have done.

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Whoops! AVG data centre KO'd by 'unplanned' outage

BongoJoe
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"unplanned maintenance outage"

What, pray, is one of these?

Is it weael words for Cock Up or are they really trying to suggest that some BOFH wandered into work one morning and decided there and then to apply SP3 to the whole lot?

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