Posts by Anomalous Cowturd

Re: "Vulture Sweat"... is that anything like "Pokari Sweat"

Let's hope not. That stuff tastes like crap!

I'll try most things twice, just in case, but not that shit.

Re: Insults

Once worked on a site that had a labourer dubbed "two sticks" short of a bundle.

Lovely bloke, but thick as pig-shit.

I can't even remember his real name, but his nickname always tickled me.

Re: Signs can be beneficial...

Yesterday, a braindead courier of the Yodel variety managed to not deliver a package to me, despite a detailed description of how to find me, and two phone numbers to call if they couldn't...

Luckily, the solicitor's office that received it could read, and rang me.

Yodel? Burn them with fire!

Re: I have a device in the bathroom...

So do I, but mine keeps complaining "one at a time please."

I think there's something wrong with it.

Re: The bloody flies (and other airborne thingies)

Gotta agree with that sentiment.

I copped a big fat Bumble bee in the face back in my motorcycling days. Nearly had me off my bike, and gave me a beautiful "shiner" for a week. Furry little bastard!

Perfect icon for the occasion...

Re: Main Photo-RORSCHACH Test!

Looks like a butterfly to me.

So do all the others, mind...

Donald has a bald spot? Where?

Oh, I see.

Between his ears...

Re: Whatever happened to UKIP?

They changed their name to Douglas Carswell M.P.

Re: The # key adjacent to the 1

I sit corrected Sir. Perhaps I should have said "Not on any phone I've ever owned."

Have a beer.

Re: They've staked a claim on my money...

This news just in...

Dear Customer,

Thank you for your recent interest, and subsequent order placed with vMall, for the much anticipated Honor 7.

Honor appreciates your custom and is committed to providing you with up to date product delivery information. To avoid you having to contact our customer service team, here is the latest update on your pre-order.

Due to unprecedented interest in the new highly anticipated Honor 7, all pre-ordered devices are expected to be fulfilled between 2-3 weeks. There is no action required from you, our team will keep you updated, and aim to despatch your Honor 7 as soon as stock becomes available.

Thank you for your patience. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact our customer service team by calling us on our customer service numbers found here.

Sincerely,

Your vMall Team.

support-uk@vmall.eu

But I want it NOW! (Sad face)

Thanks Andrew.

Never thought I'd type that in a post on here. ;o)

I've just put my name down for a "Mystery Grey" one. No mention of expected delivery dates, but with an option to cancel before despatch.

They're still showing a £40 discount until the end of the month, so £210 including delivery.

Re: There's a special place for people like that...

Dynamo hum?

;o)

Re: Pity there is no prostate exam icon...

I always use this one.

@ Fungus Bob

Uncanny!

Not just me then?

Re: Get a used HP LaserJet 4

Yep. I only upgraded my LJ5M last year, after 9 years of sturdy service. It was born in 1996, and had only printed 40k pages when I bought it for £50. 14MB RAM and a PostScript ROM.

It's still working at a friend's house. Brilliant network printer. 600 dpi, 12 ppm. Supposedly good for 30k pages per month. Compatible 9k page cartridges are less than £20.

I only got rid of it because I needed automatic duplex printing.

if only it would find my applications when I type , gggrrrrrrr

Do you 'have' any applications called gggrrrrrrr?

Re: Seen this kind of thing

Ooh, ICL. The first machine I inflicted my code on was a 2904.

God, I'm old.

Re: John Wayne is no longer avaible" (Gil Scott-Heron)

Unfortunately, neither is Gil Scott-Heron.

R.I.P.

Icon? There used to be a headstone...

Re: Why's this a story?

Speaking as an ex plumber and pc/network engineer, can I say that combination boilers are more efficient than HW storage systems, unless HW usage and demand is high.

For low usage households, modern condensing combi boilers are the most efficient option, more so if your heating system is correctly sized.

However, central heating is not always the best/cheapest/greenest option. Talk to an expert, not a salesman, and certainly don't ask British Gas for a quote. I have, in my plumbing past, quoted half the BG price, and still made a very handsome profit. Taking the piss is normal practice for those fuckers...

YMMWNV.

why does the radio want to adjust the volume?

So you can still hear it when you leave town and accelerate to out of town speeds, and conversely, so it doesn't blow your ears off when you get to the next slow spot.

My nearly twenty year old car does it, and it's very useful. One less reason to take your eyes off the road.

In the grand scheme of things, not a massive advance, but it's the little things like it that make me appreciate my car's design.

It's a Volvo by the way.

@Blowhard Re: NASA inefficiency:

Aquaducts?

Re: What might be a good idea...

Opera Mini?

Still available (I think) as a Java App for feature phones, and on Android and PC (Opera Turbo).

Re:Who's the subject in "idiot tax operation"? Government? Consumers? Companies?

Yes!

Re: Help! I can no longer tell the difference!

It's easy to tell the difference.

If it isn't incomprehensible tosh, it's AmfM.

HTH. HAND.

Re: Blimey

My old 'M' reg' Wolseley Six...

Re: Good

That was Not the nine o'clock news!

@LeeD

True, so true.

Still running Opera 12.16 here, and will be for the foreseeable future.

:o(

Re: Errr...

Except when you click on the link, the price has miraculously changed to £15.99 not £14.99, so 20% is right.

:o(

elReg fail.

@Vimes

Marketing speak is everywhere these days. Get used to it, and learn to read between the lines!

I just received the email from TalkTalk, but as I never speak to unsolicited callers unless I know them personally, it's not a problem for me, or anyone with half a clue about security.

Re: I had a company credit card too

My most blatant one was a receipt from Asda for a dozen Durex ribbed condoms, which I insisted were PPE.

Questions were asked, but they couldn't argue with my logic...

;o)

Re: How deep will it go?

It's turtles all the way down.

:o)

Re: Not Again

Hard to fix?

That will be why the updated libs were pushed out this afternoon to my Ubuntu, Debian and Centos boxes.

You're right, that wasn't hard at all.

@Camberwick Green

Meet our very own Mr. Frothy.

Try not to take him too seriously.

Icon? Frothy head!

Re: xkcd.com/435

I prefer the "alt" text.

Re: Time lords in Paris

Like dropping a pencil down a well.

Snigger.