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* Posts by Anomalous Cowturd

827 posts • joined 2 Apr 2010

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FBI boss: We don't want a backdoor, we want the front door to phones

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Call this bloke a Waaaambulance!

Sheesh.

Just get a warrant you arsehole.

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LOHAN crash lands on CNN

Anomalous Cowturd
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Coat

It would be handy if we knew what your plans were...

Kick-Ass Rocket Derived Automated Spacecraft, Highly Integrated Autonomous Navigation.

Phew!

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Radiohead(ache): BBC wants dead duck tech in sexy new mobes

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Re: TMS in a car without DAB?

198 kHz Long wave...

HTH

:o)

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Blighty: Welcome your new, faceless MI6 chief – Alex Younger

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: obviously wasn't a 'Field Agent'

Depends on whether or not the field in question is full of well dressed pumpkins.

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So long Lotus 1-2-3: IBM ceases support after over 30 years of code

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Re: DataEase

Yep, still got a boxed copy of DataEase 4 in the garage. Without checking, I believe it came on a single HD 3.5 inch floppy.

I set up a small business stock control / ordering / invoicing system in two days. From scratch. The data entry took longer than the setup.

I too feel a VM coming on...

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Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

Anomalous Cowturd
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Unhappy

Re: Winsome

Lose some?

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Windows

WinDoesn't?

See Title.

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Stunned by Shellshock Bash bug? Patch all you can – or be punished

Anomalous Cowturd
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Alert

CVE-2014-7169 patched today on Ubuntu.

Was flagged as a partial fix.

CVE-2014-6271 was patched a couple of days ago.

Patch hasn't made its way upstream to Debian yet. :o(

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'Kim Kardashian snaps naked selfies with a BLACKBERRY'. *Twitterati gasps*

Anomalous Cowturd
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WTF?

Re: ok, but seriously...

My Grand-Dad, rest his soul, always used to say "red hat, no drawers", which was slang for a woman of negotiable virtue.

WTF, because there's no tombstone anymore.

R.I.P. Bill.

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: Reptilian sex is not very exciting though.

John Watts, formerly of cult 70s - 80s band Fischer-Z.

I'm a reptile - From the album Thirteen stories high.

Very talented guy. I'm surprised one of my fellow commentards didn't get it.

I'll just splash out on a virtual beer for myself.

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

Re: Reptilian sex is not very exciting though.

I'm a reptile.

I don't do nothin' 'til I'm warm!

+1 internet for the first to name the singer.

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Euro chiefs: Hi Google. Here's how to REALLY protect everyone's privacy. Hello? Hello?

Anomalous Cowturd
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WTF?

Why can't they just be up front about what they want?

Plain English.

What data, why, when, where, and passed on to who, when, why, what for?

I use numerous Google services, including a Moto G Android phone and their (very good) email service, but only via IMAP clients, and never see an ad on either. Their spam trap catches pretty much everything, and false flags are very rare.

Do no evil?

Almost certainly not.

Provide excellent hardware, software, and online products?

Most definitely.

Except WHERE'S THE FUCKING LINUX G-DRIVE CLIENT FFS!

Grrrrr........

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Sun of a beach! Java biz founder loses battle to keep his shore private

Anomalous Cowturd
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WTF?

Re: GET OFF MY LAWN!

<viz>

"Git orf moi LAAAANDD!" #BLAM#

</viz>

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FBI boss: Apple's iPhone, iPad encryption puts people 'ABOVE THE LAW'

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

And all completely irrelevant to us right-pondians...

Due to RIPA 2000.

Give us your password or go straight to jail.

Do not pass go.

Do not collect £200

Despite hundreds of years of not being able to force you to supply incriminating evidence against yourself, they abolished torture, then decided, in the pre-dawn of the new millenium, and at the stroke of a pen, that it was OK to deprive you of your liberty until you give them what they want.

Who should we fear the most?

Those who can do us the most harm. Directly.

Our government...

Your government...

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Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pint

Re: The guy's a nightmare.

You may laugh, but in a previous life, I worked in a Coca Cola factory, and at shift change one day there was a can of Pepsi in the "Team room" fridge.

There was an internal inquiry as to how it got there, but they never found out who did it... ;o)

IMHO the only good pop is a heavily diluted tonic water. (Diluted with copious amounts of Vera Lynn, obviously!)

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New UK.gov DATA SLURPING diplomat to push US telcos to share more subscriber info

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Re: Why don't they let the judicial system just use the intel they've got?

I've got a better idea...

Why don't they just take their evidence to a Judge, and ask for a warrant?

Isn't that what plod has to do if they want to poke around my "real" stuff? You know, specific allegations regarding real offences. Not just suspicions of being "in possession of an offensive wife"!

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A spin of roulette in the sporty Ford Fiesta Black

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re:all wheel bearings loose, the transmission howling, the second round of engine oil seals leaking,

Ever heard of a thing called a "service"?

And as for "I wouldn't worry about a turbo", is that because it's not the turbo that usually fails, it's the turbo bearings or oil seals?

Generally taking something expensive with them. (Like the rest of the turbo... Or the whole engine if you're really lucky. (Thanks Peugeot))

Give me a nice belt driven blower any day.

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Alien condoms. Stuck to the wall. That's entirely normal, y'know

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: Gloo...

And short-arses!

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Bono: Apple will sort out monetising music where the labels failed

Anomalous Cowturd
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Stop

Re: an audiovisual interactive format for music that can't be pirated

But Paul, music has to be converted to analogue to be reproduced by loudspeakers, ergo, it CAN then be copied...

DRM doesn't work, and only pisses off legitimate owners.

See icon.

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Scotland wins WORLD RECORD as voters head to referendum polls

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: "carrot cake is not a real dessert"

But it does count as one of your 5-a-day.

Two if it has an icing carrot on top.

Yummy.

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SHIP OF FAIL: How do we right capsized institutions we thought would NEVER go under?

Anomalous Cowturd
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Thumb Up

@Bill re: VOTE!

The BIG problem is not the voters, it's the choices.

Would you like to bend over? Me on top? Or would you prefer nice comfy spoons?

Any way, YOU'RE FUCKED!

Hmmm......

P.S. Sorry for shouting. :o)

And NO, I don't mean vote UKIP. Splitters!

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IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

SCSI port...

Was one of my ex's nickname for her down-belows.

It was the only Out Of Hours support that I actually enjoyed doing...

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Vote NOW for LOHAN's arboreal avoidance algorithm acronym

Anomalous Cowturd
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Unhappy

Re: I'm Sad

I'm disappointed that my PANTIES were dropped before the race began...

:o(

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Video: Dyson unveils ROBOTIC TANK that hoovers while you're out

Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

@ Tanuki... Re: shiny-stainless-steel-machine-porn-fantasy

May I refer the honourable commentard to a response given earlier?

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/2289372

:o)

I'm still singing it...

Syyyyyy Borg. Gimme that, gimme that. Syyyyyyyy Borg........

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re: Still missing critical feature

In my experience with Dysons, the motors burn out rather quickly.

£20 on Amazon, and half an hour with YouTube and a long shank #15 Torx and you're sorted.

Certainly better than a £250+ replacement.

HTH.

;o)

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

Re: Sy Borg

You'll love it!

With leather?

I'm happy to say it's my teenage daughter's favourite Zappa track, and I'm now going to be singing it to myself for the rest of the day. Happy times.

Brilliant album. Joe's Garage Act II if you're interested.

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iCloud fiasco: 100 FAMOUS WOMEN exposed NUDE online

Anomalous Cowturd
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FAIL

Re: I can get excellent pics of ladies' anatomies for a few bucks...

You pay for fap fodder?

Amateur!

:o)

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'Stop dissing Google or quit': OK, I quit, says Code Club co-founder

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: Now she can start her own coder academy...

She did, Ross.

Or did you not read the bit about her being a founder member of Code Club?

P.S. Another director apparently resigned earlier this year for the same reason, according to a comment on her blog...

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Not really very live at all from London - It's the Vulture News videocast

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pint

@ Elmer re: poached.

Knowing their reputation, I'd think pickled would be more likely...

:o)

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SpaceX prototype rocket EXPLODES over Texas. 'Tricky' biz, says Elon Musk

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re: On YouTube

Don't bother.

It's wobbly hand-held mobile phone footage from miles away.

A puff of smoke, and some white dots falling.

It is rocket science.

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LOHAN Kickstarter bid IS GO: Back our Vulture 2 spaceplane launch

Anomalous Cowturd
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Meh

Re: Target too high?

So how much is Dicky B charging you to let your balloon take off from his bit of Murrica?

And what's wrong with just driving to an empty bit, and letting it go from there? They have quite a lot of it over there you know.

Or just smuggle the fucker into Spain, and lie about the motor if customs pull you.

God, I'm a tight bastard.

:oD

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Anomalous Cowturd
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WTF?

Target too high?

Thirty grand?!

That's five grand a head for a team of six.

Are you going for a month?

Or flying business class and staying at five star hotels?

Or just planning on running up a mahoosive bar bill?

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Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

Anomalous Cowturd
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Stop

What would happen if Chuck Norris took up Morris Dancing?

We'd be safe from all other baddies.

Until next summer, when the hybrid Chuck Morris's arise from their mountain lair and bore club us all to death.

I'm moving to a safer planet.

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Microsoft refuses to nip 'Windows 9' unzip lip slip

Anomalous Cowturd
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+1 for Saddam Nutella!

I'm stealing that.

:o)

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: Underwhelmed

If your Nokia 6310i needs a new battery every year, you might want to try genuine Nokia batteries.

My 6310i backup phone still runs for a week on its original 2002 battery.

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Roll up for El Reg's 3G/4G MONOPOLY DATA PUB CRAWL

Anomalous Cowturd
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Trollface

Re: Suspicious behaviour

But they're brown.

They must be tourists terrorists!

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Munich considers dumping Linux for ... GULP ... Windows!

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Re: If local government fails, you get rubbish in the streets, roads becoming unusable, etc.

You're not from round here are you?

Welcome to GB 2014...

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LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: BRASTRAP and...

Near Instantaneous Patent Pending Limb Evasion System...

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

BRASTRAP and...

Penzlien's Automated Nearby Tree Intelligent Evasion System.

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Hacker crew nicks '1.2 billion passwords' – but WHERE did they all come from?

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: Recent Spamstorm

Not just me then?

Apparently, penis enlargement pills and slimming aids are what I need.

Strange, as the only fat part of me is my cock!

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Jurassic squawk: Dinos were Earth's early FEATHERED friends

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Re: Could be . . .

Except all the "bare skinned" creatures you quote have at least some hair, somewhere on their bodies.

Although mine is not as luxuriant as it used to be...

I blame the medication ;o)

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Did HP just tip its hand on Autonomy? Spoiler: It was a busted flush

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Holmes

This only works two ways...

1) Lack of "due diligence" on HP's part.

2) Dodgy accountants / accounts.

3) Both of the above.

Ok, three ways.

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iWatch 'due November'... Y'all know what time it is? Now you do

Anomalous Cowturd
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Coat

Re: It's likely to be Apple's first big flop in a long time.

I'll just leave this here...

iPhone 5c

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Read the proposed US ASTEROIDS Act to green-light mining IN SPAAAACE

Anomalous Cowturd
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FAIL

Re: Once braked into a stable orbit...

So what are they going to use to slow it down?

A parachute?

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Alabama quadchopper hits THREE THOUSAND FEET next to AIRPORT

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pah, I have a screensaver that looks like that!

GL Skyrocket.

The video is actually pretty good...

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Anomalous Cowturd
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Windows

Turn off the computer, then turn it on again...

> I've done that, it still looks exactly the same. (They powered off the monitor...)

Ok, look for a large beige box under your desk. Press the big button marked POWER. Now press it again.

> Oh! It's starting up now. Thanks. Bye. <Click>

Support call received at stupid O'clock one night.

Shoot them all.

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Face up to a double life with hybrid Office 365

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Time to call "Time ladies and gentlemen" on the cloud...

I'm afraid I really have had enough of this "cloud" shite. Unless your company has at least a Gigabit bandwidth to the net, and multiple hundreds of distributed workers or sites, just what is the bloody point of internet hosted data? And what about when your internet is "off"?

Locally hosted VM snapshots with local NAS and off site backup I can grok.

VPN (ideally with TPA) in to LAN for off-site workers, all locally hosted.

Reliance on ANY outside provider is just passing the buck...

But hey! Just move to a new job. :o(

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Cryptome pulled OFFLINE due to malware infection: Founder cries foul

Anomalous Cowturd
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Black Helicopters

Re: It's back... No it isn't... Site update.

25 June 2015. Update:

Via Twitter @cryptomeorg:

NetSol rushed to reactivate Cryptome. No deal. Henceforth only SM will be used to exchange information. To hell with arrogant dirty ISPs.

Cryptome has been dispersed. Files will appear expectedly and unexpectedly at diverse locations online and off.

Besides pastes, drops, torrent, implants, hides, Cryptome has over a dozen sites for dispersed distribution, more coming. Got means-methods?

By sites and outlets is not meant only online, current leader of dirty work posing as clean.

:o(

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: It's back...

Yep.

Welcome back John.

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Coulson GUILTY of conspiring to hack phones between 2000 and 2006

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Sacrificial lamb?

Nothing will change, except Coulson may soon be suffering from a sore botty.

It is good to see though, that all the other paragons of virtue have been acquitted.

</sarc>

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