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* Posts by Anomalous Cowturd

811 posts • joined 2 Apr 2010

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A spin of roulette in the sporty Ford Fiesta Black

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re:all wheel bearings loose, the transmission howling, the second round of engine oil seals leaking,

Ever heard of a thing called a "service"?

And as for "I wouldn't worry about a turbo", is that because it's not the turbo that usually fails, it's the turbo bearings or oil seals?

Generally taking something expensive with them. (Like the rest of the turbo... Or the whole engine if you're really lucky. (Thanks Peugeot))

Give me a nice belt driven blower any day.

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Alien condoms. Stuck to the wall. That's entirely normal, y'know

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: Gloo...

And short-arses!

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Bono: Apple will sort out monetising music where the labels failed

Anomalous Cowturd
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Stop

Re: an audiovisual interactive format for music that can't be pirated

But Paul, music has to be converted to analogue to be reproduced by loudspeakers, ergo, it CAN then be copied...

DRM doesn't work, and only pisses off legitimate owners.

See icon.

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Scotland wins WORLD RECORD as voters head to referendum polls

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: "carrot cake is not a real dessert"

But it does count as one of your 5-a-day.

Two if it has an icing carrot on top.

Yummy.

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SHIP OF FAIL: How do we right capsized institutions we thought would NEVER go under?

Anomalous Cowturd
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Thumb Up

@Bill re: VOTE!

The BIG problem is not the voters, it's the choices.

Would you like to bend over? Me on top? Or would you prefer nice comfy spoons?

Any way, YOU'RE FUCKED!

Hmmm......

P.S. Sorry for shouting. :o)

And NO, I don't mean vote UKIP. Splitters!

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IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

SCSI port...

Was one of my ex's nickname for her down-belows.

It was the only Out Of Hours support that I actually enjoyed doing...

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Vote NOW for LOHAN's arboreal avoidance algorithm acronym

Anomalous Cowturd
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Unhappy

Re: I'm Sad

I'm disappointed that my PANTIES were dropped before the race began...

:o(

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Video: Dyson unveils ROBOTIC TANK that hoovers while you're out

Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

@ Tanuki... Re: shiny-stainless-steel-machine-porn-fantasy

May I refer the honourable commentard to a response given earlier?

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/2289372

:o)

I'm still singing it...

Syyyyyy Borg. Gimme that, gimme that. Syyyyyyyy Borg........

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re: Still missing critical feature

In my experience with Dysons, the motors burn out rather quickly.

£20 on Amazon, and half an hour with YouTube and a long shank #15 Torx and you're sorted.

Certainly better than a £250+ replacement.

HTH.

;o)

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

Re: Sy Borg

You'll love it!

With leather?

I'm happy to say it's my teenage daughter's favourite Zappa track, and I'm now going to be singing it to myself for the rest of the day. Happy times.

Brilliant album. Joe's Garage Act II if you're interested.

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iCloud fiasco: 100 FAMOUS WOMEN exposed NUDE online

Anomalous Cowturd
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FAIL

Re: I can get excellent pics of ladies' anatomies for a few bucks...

You pay for fap fodder?

Amateur!

:o)

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'Stop dissing Google or quit': OK, I quit, says Code Club co-founder

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: Now she can start her own coder academy...

She did, Ross.

Or did you not read the bit about her being a founder member of Code Club?

P.S. Another director apparently resigned earlier this year for the same reason, according to a comment on her blog...

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Not really very live at all from London - It's the Vulture News videocast

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pint

@ Elmer re: poached.

Knowing their reputation, I'd think pickled would be more likely...

:o)

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SpaceX prototype rocket EXPLODES over Texas. 'Tricky' biz, says Elon Musk

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re: On YouTube

Don't bother.

It's wobbly hand-held mobile phone footage from miles away.

A puff of smoke, and some white dots falling.

It is rocket science.

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LOHAN Kickstarter bid IS GO: Back our Vulture 2 spaceplane launch

Anomalous Cowturd
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Meh

Re: Target too high?

So how much is Dicky B charging you to let your balloon take off from his bit of Murrica?

And what's wrong with just driving to an empty bit, and letting it go from there? They have quite a lot of it over there you know.

Or just smuggle the fucker into Spain, and lie about the motor if customs pull you.

God, I'm a tight bastard.

:oD

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Anomalous Cowturd
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WTF?

Target too high?

Thirty grand?!

That's five grand a head for a team of six.

Are you going for a month?

Or flying business class and staying at five star hotels?

Or just planning on running up a mahoosive bar bill?

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Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

Anomalous Cowturd
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Stop

What would happen if Chuck Norris took up Morris Dancing?

We'd be safe from all other baddies.

Until next summer, when the hybrid Chuck Morris's arise from their mountain lair and bore club us all to death.

I'm moving to a safer planet.

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Microsoft refuses to nip 'Windows 9' unzip lip slip

Anomalous Cowturd
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+1 for Saddam Nutella!

I'm stealing that.

:o)

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: Underwhelmed

If your Nokia 6310i needs a new battery every year, you might want to try genuine Nokia batteries.

My 6310i backup phone still runs for a week on its original 2002 battery.

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Roll up for El Reg's 3G/4G MONOPOLY DATA PUB CRAWL

Anomalous Cowturd
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Trollface

Re: Suspicious behaviour

But they're brown.

They must be tourists terrorists!

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Munich considers dumping Linux for ... GULP ... Windows!

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Re: If local government fails, you get rubbish in the streets, roads becoming unusable, etc.

You're not from round here are you?

Welcome to GB 2014...

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LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: BRASTRAP and...

Near Instantaneous Patent Pending Limb Evasion System...

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

BRASTRAP and...

Penzlien's Automated Nearby Tree Intelligent Evasion System.

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Hacker crew nicks '1.2 billion passwords' – but WHERE did they all come from?

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: Recent Spamstorm

Not just me then?

Apparently, penis enlargement pills and slimming aids are what I need.

Strange, as the only fat part of me is my cock!

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Jurassic squawk: Dinos were Earth's early FEATHERED friends

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Re: Could be . . .

Except all the "bare skinned" creatures you quote have at least some hair, somewhere on their bodies.

Although mine is not as luxuriant as it used to be...

I blame the medication ;o)

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Did HP just tip its hand on Autonomy? Spoiler: It was a busted flush

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

This only works two ways...

1) Lack of "due diligence" on HP's part.

2) Dodgy accountants / accounts.

3) Both of the above.

Ok, three ways.

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iWatch 'due November'... Y'all know what time it is? Now you do

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: It's likely to be Apple's first big flop in a long time.

I'll just leave this here...

iPhone 5c

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Read the proposed US ASTEROIDS Act to green-light mining IN SPAAAACE

Anomalous Cowturd
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FAIL

Re: Once braked into a stable orbit...

So what are they going to use to slow it down?

A parachute?

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Alabama quadchopper hits THREE THOUSAND FEET next to AIRPORT

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pah, I have a screensaver that looks like that!

GL Skyrocket.

The video is actually pretty good...

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Anomalous Cowturd
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Windows

Turn off the computer, then turn it on again...

> I've done that, it still looks exactly the same. (They powered off the monitor...)

Ok, look for a large beige box under your desk. Press the big button marked POWER. Now press it again.

> Oh! It's starting up now. Thanks. Bye. <Click>

Support call received at stupid O'clock one night.

Shoot them all.

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Face up to a double life with hybrid Office 365

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Time to call "Time ladies and gentlemen" on the cloud...

I'm afraid I really have had enough of this "cloud" shite. Unless your company has at least a Gigabit bandwidth to the net, and multiple hundreds of distributed workers or sites, just what is the bloody point of internet hosted data? And what about when your internet is "off"?

Locally hosted VM snapshots with local NAS and off site backup I can grok.

VPN (ideally with TPA) in to LAN for off-site workers, all locally hosted.

Reliance on ANY outside provider is just passing the buck...

But hey! Just move to a new job. :o(

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Cryptome pulled OFFLINE due to malware infection: Founder cries foul

Anomalous Cowturd
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Black Helicopters

Re: It's back... No it isn't... Site update.

25 June 2015. Update:

Via Twitter @cryptomeorg:

NetSol rushed to reactivate Cryptome. No deal. Henceforth only SM will be used to exchange information. To hell with arrogant dirty ISPs.

Cryptome has been dispersed. Files will appear expectedly and unexpectedly at diverse locations online and off.

Besides pastes, drops, torrent, implants, hides, Cryptome has over a dozen sites for dispersed distribution, more coming. Got means-methods?

By sites and outlets is not meant only online, current leader of dirty work posing as clean.

:o(

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: It's back...

Yep.

Welcome back John.

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Coulson GUILTY of conspiring to hack phones between 2000 and 2006

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Sacrificial lamb?

Nothing will change, except Coulson may soon be suffering from a sore botty.

It is good to see though, that all the other paragons of virtue have been acquitted.

</sarc>

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Apple, Cisco line up to protect offshore data

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

You have to admit, they have a "valid" point...

But any company or individual placing their data in the hands of a U.S. based company is basically handing over their data for rape. For whatever perceived purpose...

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First iOS, now Android to get fondleslab Office ahead of Windows

Anomalous Cowturd
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Trollface

But they said it was easy...

to port software between Windows 8.1, Windows phone 8, and Windows RT.

Would they really have lied?

Obviously!

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Amazing never-seen-before photo of colourful hot young stars (Thanks Hubble)

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

What's even more amazing...

is that if you could hold a half millimetre dot at arm's length, you could hide ALL of them behind it.

Wish I could afford a lens like that. :o)

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New development in 'stadium-sized' FLYING SAUCER orb invasion

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pirate

Re: flight cancelled

Just out of interest, have the told the playmonaut (Colin?) about his brother's untimely watery demise.

Perhaps it's better if he doesn't know...

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SCIENCE explains why you LOVE the smell of BACON

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: Mmmm...

Dear Mr. Not Spartacus.

You sick bastard.

May you burn in eternal hell, for your heretical deeds.

Bacon is the only true way to Heaven.

End it now...

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Anomalous Cowturd
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WTF?

@Farmer Fred. Re: (or fat)

Go on. You know you want to say it.

Say it LOUD!

Say LARD!

Yeah.

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Coat

@stucs201 Re: bacon cuts

I believe that what you describe as middle cut consists of a complete slice from loin right through the belly.

My best ever came from Shrewsbury market, dry cured, fatty belly, rind on, and smoked. 3 slices, pan fried, belly out, in a savagely hot pan for about a minute a side. served in a brace of freshly carved slices of still warm bread.

Oh, and Hammond's Chop sauce, or, at a push, HP...

Nurse, the screens!

Ooh, and some tissues.

Sorry about that.

And now, back to your usual programmes...

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Microsoft’s 'FIRST NOKIA' arrives at £89

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re: exclusive rights to every colour in the visible spectrum.

I believe they belong to Messrs. Pantone Inc.

YMMV, but I don't fancy your chances much...

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$3.2bn Apple deal would make hip-hop mogul Dr Dre a BEEELLLIONAIRE

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

@ Michael Wojcik

Oi, I cut my teeth on an ICL 2904 with 64kB of core store the size of a fridge, and 10MB Winchester packs the size of a small planet, and it sounded like lots of fans running in the background...

Hummmmmm......

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Stop

Re: Overpriced, over-rated and over-valued...

Don't worry Don, my opinions will always be free at the point of use.

The other two, I leave to your discretion.

;o)

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Trollface

Overpriced, over-rated and over-valued...

They sound like a perfect match!

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Latest Snowden leak claims NSA bugged ALL mobile calls in the Bahamas

Anomalous Cowturd
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Unhappy

@NoneSuch

That hits the nail squarely on the head.

They have a "legal warrant" to listen to every call? So they have evidence against every caller? Smells like bullshit to me.

If you're not for us, you're against us.

Unfortunately for us, they have a total disrespect for the law if they think can get away with it, and the money to change the law if they can't, on their side.

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Giant pop can FOUND ON MOON

Anomalous Cowturd
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Stop

@Mage

Wasn't the Chinese Rabbit captured by the soup dragon, and fed to the Clangers?

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Feature-phones aren't dead, Moto – oldsters still need them

Anomalous Cowturd
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@DougS

I'd be chuffed to fuck if I woke up aged 30 years tomorrow morning.

I'm 53...

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Moto E pops up with £89 price tag – alongside new LTE Moto G cuz

Anomalous Cowturd
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Meh

Loving my G...

Except for the shite camera, it does everything I need, speedily.

Nice pared down Android install. Ability to disable (but not remove) pre-installed apps.

4G wouldn't matter round here, as 3G frequently struggles. SD card would be nice.

So, a worthy upgrade to the G.

The Economy model is obviously aiming at the last of the smartphone holdouts. Spend the extra tenner and get a G from Tesco for £99.

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'A proper British BOFFIN': Famous Martian prof Pillinger dies aged 70

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re: may I suggest to the Vulture SPB

Sideburns on the Playmonaut?

Wouldn't add much weight...

R.I.P. Colin.

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