Feeds

* Posts by Anomalous Cowturd

790 posts • joined 2 Apr 2010

Page:

LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge

Re: BRASTRAP and...

Near Instantaneous Patent Pending Limb Evasion System...

2
0
Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Boffin

BRASTRAP and...

Penzlien's Automated Nearby Tree Intelligent Evasion System.

4
0

Hacker crew nicks '1.2 billion passwords' – but WHERE did they all come from?

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Recent Spamstorm

Not just me then?

Apparently, penis enlargement pills and slimming aids are what I need.

Strange, as the only fat part of me is my cock!

13
0

Jurassic squawk: Dinos were Earth's early FEATHERED friends

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Could be . . .

Except all the "bare skinned" creatures you quote have at least some hair, somewhere on their bodies.

Although mine is not as luxuriant as it used to be...

I blame the medication ;o)

1
0

Did HP just tip its hand on Autonomy? Spoiler: It was a busted flush

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Holmes

This only works two ways...

1) Lack of "due diligence" on HP's part.

2) Dodgy accountants / accounts.

3) Both of the above.

Ok, three ways.

5
0

iWatch 'due November'... Y'all know what time it is? Now you do

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Coat

Re: It's likely to be Apple's first big flop in a long time.

I'll just leave this here...

iPhone 5c

0
0

Read the proposed US ASTEROIDS Act to green-light mining IN SPAAAACE

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Once braked into a stable orbit...

So what are they going to use to slow it down?

A parachute?

1
1

Alabama quadchopper hits THREE THOUSAND FEET next to AIRPORT

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Pah, I have a screensaver that looks like that!

GL Skyrocket.

The video is actually pretty good...

0
0

You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Windows

Turn off the computer, then turn it on again...

> I've done that, it still looks exactly the same. (They powered off the monitor...)

Ok, look for a large beige box under your desk. Press the big button marked POWER. Now press it again.

> Oh! It's starting up now. Thanks. Bye. <Click>

Support call received at stupid O'clock one night.

Shoot them all.

7
0

Face up to a double life with hybrid Office 365

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Holmes

Time to call "Time ladies and gentlemen" on the cloud...

I'm afraid I really have had enough of this "cloud" shite. Unless your company has at least a Gigabit bandwidth to the net, and multiple hundreds of distributed workers or sites, just what is the bloody point of internet hosted data? And what about when your internet is "off"?

Locally hosted VM snapshots with local NAS and off site backup I can grok.

VPN (ideally with TPA) in to LAN for off-site workers, all locally hosted.

Reliance on ANY outside provider is just passing the buck...

But hey! Just move to a new job. :o(

7
0

Cryptome pulled OFFLINE due to malware infection: Founder cries foul

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: It's back... No it isn't... Site update.

25 June 2015. Update:

Via Twitter @cryptomeorg:

NetSol rushed to reactivate Cryptome. No deal. Henceforth only SM will be used to exchange information. To hell with arrogant dirty ISPs.

Cryptome has been dispersed. Files will appear expectedly and unexpectedly at diverse locations online and off.

Besides pastes, drops, torrent, implants, hides, Cryptome has over a dozen sites for dispersed distribution, more coming. Got means-methods?

By sites and outlets is not meant only online, current leader of dirty work posing as clean.

:o(

0
0
Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: It's back...

Yep.

Welcome back John.

1
0

Coulson GUILTY of conspiring to hack phones between 2000 and 2006

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Holmes

Sacrificial lamb?

Nothing will change, except Coulson may soon be suffering from a sore botty.

It is good to see though, that all the other paragons of virtue have been acquitted.

</sarc>

7
2

Apple, Cisco line up to protect offshore data

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Holmes

You have to admit, they have a "valid" point...

But any company or individual placing their data in the hands of a U.S. based company is basically handing over their data for rape. For whatever perceived purpose...

9
2

First iOS, now Android to get fondleslab Office ahead of Windows

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Trollface

But they said it was easy...

to port software between Windows 8.1, Windows phone 8, and Windows RT.

Would they really have lied?

Obviously!

7
2

Amazing never-seen-before photo of colourful hot young stars (Thanks Hubble)

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Boffin

What's even more amazing...

is that if you could hold a half millimetre dot at arm's length, you could hide ALL of them behind it.

Wish I could afford a lens like that. :o)

0
0

New development in 'stadium-sized' FLYING SAUCER orb invasion

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Pirate

Re: flight cancelled

Just out of interest, have the told the playmonaut (Colin?) about his brother's untimely watery demise.

Perhaps it's better if he doesn't know...

0
0

SCIENCE explains why you LOVE the smell of BACON

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: Mmmm...

Dear Mr. Not Spartacus.

You sick bastard.

May you burn in eternal hell, for your heretical deeds.

Bacon is the only true way to Heaven.

End it now...

2
0
Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
WTF?

@Farmer Fred. Re: (or fat)

Go on. You know you want to say it.

Say it LOUD!

Say LARD!

Yeah.

4
0
Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Coat

@stucs201 Re: bacon cuts

I believe that what you describe as middle cut consists of a complete slice from loin right through the belly.

My best ever came from Shrewsbury market, dry cured, fatty belly, rind on, and smoked. 3 slices, pan fried, belly out, in a savagely hot pan for about a minute a side. served in a brace of freshly carved slices of still warm bread.

Oh, and Hammond's Chop sauce, or, at a push, HP...

Nurse, the screens!

Ooh, and some tissues.

Sorry about that.

And now, back to your usual programmes...

1
0

Microsoft’s 'FIRST NOKIA' arrives at £89

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: exclusive rights to every colour in the visible spectrum.

I believe they belong to Messrs. Pantone Inc.

YMMV, but I don't fancy your chances much...

0
0

$3.2bn Apple deal would make hip-hop mogul Dr Dre a BEEELLLIONAIRE

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Boffin

@ Michael Wojcik

Oi, I cut my teeth on an ICL 2904 with 64kB of core store the size of a fridge, and 10MB Winchester packs the size of a small planet, and it sounded like lots of fans running in the background...

Hummmmmm......

0
0
Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Stop

Re: Overpriced, over-rated and over-valued...

Don't worry Don, my opinions will always be free at the point of use.

The other two, I leave to your discretion.

;o)

0
0
Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Trollface

Overpriced, over-rated and over-valued...

They sound like a perfect match!

31
2

Latest Snowden leak claims NSA bugged ALL mobile calls in the Bahamas

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Unhappy

@NoneSuch

That hits the nail squarely on the head.

They have a "legal warrant" to listen to every call? So they have evidence against every caller? Smells like bullshit to me.

If you're not for us, you're against us.

Unfortunately for us, they have a total disrespect for the law if they think can get away with it, and the money to change the law if they can't, on their side.

1
1

Giant pop can FOUND ON MOON

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Stop

@Mage

Wasn't the Chinese Rabbit captured by the soup dragon, and fed to the Clangers?

4
0

Feature-phones aren't dead, Moto – oldsters still need them

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Coat

@DougS

I'd be chuffed to fuck if I woke up aged 30 years tomorrow morning.

I'm 53...

2
0

Moto E pops up with £89 price tag – alongside new LTE Moto G cuz

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Meh

Loving my G...

Except for the shite camera, it does everything I need, speedily.

Nice pared down Android install. Ability to disable (but not remove) pre-installed apps.

4G wouldn't matter round here, as 3G frequently struggles. SD card would be nice.

So, a worthy upgrade to the G.

The Economy model is obviously aiming at the last of the smartphone holdouts. Spend the extra tenner and get a G from Tesco for £99.

4
0

'A proper British BOFFIN': Famous Martian prof Pillinger dies aged 70

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: may I suggest to the Vulture SPB

Sideburns on the Playmonaut?

Wouldn't add much weight...

R.I.P. Colin.

2
0

A first-world problem solved: Panoramic selfies, thanks to Huawei's Ascend P7

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Stop

Re: If only...

You should have gone for the elReg Gold Subscription option. We see pictures, and get the news before it happens.

;o)

7
0

'Bladdered' Utah couple cuffed in church lawn sex outrage

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Please amend article with a NSFA note

A pair of "treble baggers" if ever I saw one...

Not sure brain bleach is strong enough. Brain sodium hydroxide anybody?

8
0

PEAK APPLE: Mystery upstart to hurl iLord from its throne 'by 2020'

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Apple don't have anything in the cloud? Don't think about data?

> It's trash compared to Google Music though, which has better selection of music, cheaper, better streaming options, free storage and scan and match.

And the worst UI ever. I disabled it immediately and installed Poweramp.

2
0

Bill Gates: Sell off Bing? Nah. Xbox? Maybe...

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: I didn't understand what Bing was

And, until a couple of years ago, a brand of fizzy pop manufactured locally.

Sadly missed.

Burp.

1
0

Vulture 2 rocket motor heater a non-sizzling success

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Boffin

How about...

Sticky backed copper tape patches,(garden centre slug repellent type,) mounted on the fuselage, with springy copper feeds from your battery resting thereon? Virtually zero friction or resistance to sliding, and should easily handle the low current draw.

I can do you a drawing, but I hope you don't need one.

Crack on chaps.

:o)

0
0

Audio fans, prepare yourself for the Second Coming ... of Blu-ray

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: DVD-Audio ?? try VHS-HI FI...

I seem to remember my circa 1990 Aiwa (I think) VHS being able to take an RCA line level input, and record audio only at about 4 > 1 on a tape. eg. 8hrs music on a 2hr tape. Sounded fine into a Quad 33 into Yamaha PA + active speakers... 'Til a burglar took the VCR, TV, camera, cash, and my big rucksack :o(. But left the stereo...

If only he knew.

Arse.

1
0

As WinXP death looms, Microsoft releases its operating system SOURCE CODE for free

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: – DOS 6.22 + 4DOS command processor FTW!

It was DR-DOS 7.04 + Hyperdisk cache for me.

Beat the crap out of MS's lame efforts. Three disk swaps to copy a 1.44 floppy? Yeah right.

1
0
Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: What was 2.0 really known for? @AC

No, it was because filenames were limited to 8.3 character format...

1
0

Ancient telly, check. Sonos sound system, check. OMG WOAH

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Is it a joke??

@jzlondon. For me, sound quality IS the only criteria when evaluating AUDIO equipment.

Price also has a major influence, as, like Mr. Raith, I'm not made of money either. My current system, since my Quad 33 karked it, is a 30 year old NAD amp, driving a pair of 25 year old Linn speakers. Sounds bloody marvellous to my aging lugs, and the pair of them cost me less than a ton. Isn't fleabay great?

Of course, YMMV.

2
1

Nvidia unveils Titan Z: An 8TFLOPS off-the-shelf supercomputer disguised as a gfx card

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Pirate

@Numptyscrub. You were lucky...

I paid £120 quid each for four 4MB SIMMs for my 486.

Ouch.

I've got a VHS sized case full of the things in my bits box now. Know anybody who might want them?

Icon? I was robbed.

0
0

You TWITS! Facebook exec erects billboards shaming texting drivers

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Piloting a ton of metal...

Do you mean motorcycles, because I'm sure you have to look pretty hard to find a merkin car that only weighs a ton.

3
0

US saves self from Huawei spying by spying on Huawei spying

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: xenophobic turf protection

Would they be the US kit providers whose kit is mostly manufactured in Eastasia?

They're all at it...

It just seems that the septics keep getting caught out by their denials and distractions. Whereas us Brits "don't comment on matters of national security", then carry on regardless. Over-sight? Yeah, we've heard of that stuff. Doesn't apply here, old stick. What!

11
0

Blighty goes retro with 12-sided pound coin

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Brings back memories

"Show us yer thrupennies" was a popular saying when I were a lad.

How times change. It would probably get your name on a "Register" nowadays.

Coat please. The grubby one. Ta.

0
0

BT caught in data gaffe drama: Whistleblower squeals over alleged email fail

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
FAIL

ICO to BT: Hold your hand out.

SLAP!

Don't do it again, or else...

6
0

Florida bloke cuffed for pit bull shag outrage

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
WTF?

@Lester

Shall I just send smutty news tips direct to you from now on?

The news-desk have been sitting on this since Friday.

And not a word of thanks.

:o(

0
0

LOHAN chap hooks up with busty stratominx in cosmic pleasure cruise

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Pint

It does lower the tone somewhat...

Mr. Akerman, please give your full attention to getting that bloody plane launched, before we all die of age related degenerative disorders.

And have a beer to focus your mind.

;o)

9
0

Bugger the jetpack, where's my 21st-century Psion?

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@ Chris Miller

+1 for the Libretto range.

In a previous life, my colleagues and I installed dozens of those little babies in Out of Hours Doctor's cars all over the country. Came with a docking bay, to which we could attach Paknet Radio Pads for fully mobile data. A printer on the back seat too, if you wanted / needed hard copy.

This was in the late 90s...

1
0

Squidge-droids maker updates iRobot for SUCK, SCRUB action

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Can't afford a French Maid.

Have you thought of a furniture Polish Maid!

I'm here all week.

3
0

Bloke rattles tin for giant 3D two-headed beast

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: over eight different materials

I was going to upvote you, but you already had nine, and it seemed wrong to spoil it.

Have an iconic thumb up instead. ;o)

3
0

Voracious alien flatworm hits French in the escargots

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Pint

Re: The Zerg are here !

Never mind all that malarkey.

Just announce them as a new national dish, and they'll all be gone in days.

Brown tagliatelli anybody?

4
0

WHOA: Get a load of Asteroid DX110 JUST MISSING planet EARTH

Anomalous Cowturd
Silver badge
Coat

Re: a bit of a wallop

More of a squelch in Wales, Shirley?

Splashdown?

Now, where's my umbrella.

2
0

Page: