* Posts by Anomalous Cowturd

905 posts • joined 2 Apr 2010

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The Honor's a defo gamechanger, but good luck buying one

Anomalous Cowturd
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Unhappy

Re: They've staked a claim on my money...

This news just in...

Dear Customer,

Thank you for your recent interest, and subsequent order placed with vMall, for the much anticipated Honor 7.

Honor appreciates your custom and is committed to providing you with up to date product delivery information. To avoid you having to contact our customer service team, here is the latest update on your pre-order.

Due to unprecedented interest in the new highly anticipated Honor 7, all pre-ordered devices are expected to be fulfilled between 2-3 weeks. There is no action required from you, our team will keep you updated, and aim to despatch your Honor 7 as soon as stock becomes available.

Thank you for your patience. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact our customer service team by calling us on our customer service numbers found here.

Sincerely,

Your vMall Team.

support-uk@vmall.eu

But I want it NOW! (Sad face)

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

They've staked a claim on my money...

I checked my "online payments" account and it shows a £210 discrepancy between the balance and cash available, although my account status on their website still shows as "not processed".

I'm hoping to hear from them tomorrow as to expected delivery date.

I'll report back here. If I haven't heard anything by the end of the week, I may go for a Wileyfox Storm instead.

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Honor 7 – heir apparent to the mid-range Android crown

Anomalous Cowturd
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Thanks Andrew.

Never thought I'd type that in a post on here. ;o)

I've just put my name down for a "Mystery Grey" one. No mention of expected delivery dates, but with an option to cancel before despatch.

They're still showing a £40 discount until the end of the month, so £210 including delivery.

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French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

Anomalous Cowturd
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Boffin

Re: There's a special place for people like that...

Dynamo hum?

;o)

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Vote now: Who can solve a problem like Ashley Madison?

Anomalous Cowturd
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WTF?

JMcA obviously!

Did you really need to ask?

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'Unexpected item in baggage area' assigned to rubbish area

Anomalous Cowturd
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Mushroom

Fucking self-scan tills!

My nearby Sainsburys has a habit of closing all the operator tills after about 9PM.

I refuse to use the self-scan ones and always ask for an assistant.

Keeps spotty teens off the streets, and doesn't give me a pocketful of shrapnel. Sainsburys tills do not dispense 50p pieces. I once got 4 x 20p plus 9 x 2p coins as change. That was the last time I used one.

It's the only way to be sure.

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Microsoft will explain only 'significant' Windows 10 updates

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: Pity there is no prostate exam icon...

I always use this one.

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Blighty a 'smartphone society' amid rise of 4G middle class

Anomalous Cowturd
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Facepalm

@ Fungus Bob

Uncanny!

Not just me then?

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Excellent!

I "save" nearly six hours a day of banal crap by neither watching TV, nor tossing it off on FarceTwitlr.

More time for real entertainment.

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Epson: Cheap printers, expensive ink? Let's turn that upside down

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: Get a used HP LaserJet 4

Yep. I only upgraded my LJ5M last year, after 9 years of sturdy service. It was born in 1996, and had only printed 40k pages when I bought it for £50. 14MB RAM and a PostScript ROM.

It's still working at a friend's house. Brilliant network printer. 600 dpi, 12 ppm. Supposedly good for 30k pages per month. Compatible 9k page cartridges are less than £20.

I only got rid of it because I needed automatic duplex printing.

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Windows 10 Start menu replacements shifting like hot cakes

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

if only it would find my applications when I type , gggrrrrrrr

Do you 'have' any applications called gggrrrrrrr?

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VIAGRA found in Chinese 'Kung Fu rice wine'

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pint

I'll have a large one please!

Oh, that was quick.

Thanks.

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Sun? In Blighty? Nah, just build that rooftop data centre, it’ll be fine

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pint

Re: Seen this kind of thing

Ooh, ICL. The first machine I inflicted my code on was a 2904.

God, I'm old.

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Petrol cars are dead in the water, says Tesla CTO waving numbers on the back of an envelope

Anomalous Cowturd
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IT Angle

Re: John Wayne is no longer avaible" (Gil Scott-Heron)

Unfortunately, neither is Gil Scott-Heron.

R.I.P.

Icon? There used to be a headstone...

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Hurrah! Windfarms produce whopping ONE PER CENT of EU energy

Anomalous Cowturd
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Stop

Re: Why's this a story?

Speaking as an ex plumber and pc/network engineer, can I say that combination boilers are more efficient than HW storage systems, unless HW usage and demand is high.

For low usage households, modern condensing combi boilers are the most efficient option, more so if your heating system is correctly sized.

However, central heating is not always the best/cheapest/greenest option. Talk to an expert, not a salesman, and certainly don't ask British Gas for a quote. I have, in my plumbing past, quoted half the BG price, and still made a very handsome profit. Taking the piss is normal practice for those fuckers...

YMMWNV.

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Jeep drivers can be HACKED to DEATH: All you need is the car's IP address

Anomalous Cowturd
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Megaphone

why does the radio want to adjust the volume?

So you can still hear it when you leave town and accelerate to out of town speeds, and conversely, so it doesn't blow your ears off when you get to the next slow spot.

My nearly twenty year old car does it, and it's very useful. One less reason to take your eyes off the road.

In the grand scheme of things, not a massive advance, but it's the little things like it that make me appreciate my car's design.

It's a Volvo by the way.

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UK.gov makes total pig's ear of attempt to legalise home CD ripping

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Has anybody ever been convicted of format shifting?

Pointless law is pointless.

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Why SpaceX will sort out Sunday's snafu faster than NASA ever could

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

@Blowhard Re: NASA inefficiency:

Aquaducts?

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Zuck can EFF off: Internet.org is SO NOT the INTERNET

Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

Re: What might be a good idea...

Opera Mini?

Still available (I think) as a Java App for feature phones, and on Android and PC (Opera Turbo).

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With WWDC looming, Apple kicks out third iOS 8.4 beta

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re:Who's the subject in "idiot tax operation"? Government? Consumers? Companies?

Yes!

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TURKEY-SIZED 'platypus' T. REX found by kid BAFFLES boffins

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Suarez?

Hope it doesn't bite!

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Go for a spin on Record Store Day: Lifting the lid on vinyl, CD and tape

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

@Nigel Whitfield

What is the sound like compared to your LP12?

Shit, I expect...

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To defend offshore finance bods looting developing countries of their tax cash

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: Help! I can no longer tell the difference!

It's easy to tell the difference.

If it isn't incomprehensible tosh, it's AmfM.

HTH. HAND.

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Volvo V60 Polestar: Speak softly, carry a big stick, dress like a Smurf

Anomalous Cowturd
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Coat

Re: Blimey

My old 'M' reg' Wolseley Six...

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WIN a RockBLOCK Mk2 Iridium sat comms unit

Anomalous Cowturd
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Flame

FART-PANTS

Final Assessment of Radios and Telemetry Prior to Awesome Near Terrestrial Spaceflight.

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Woman caught on CCTV performing drunken BJ blew right to privacy

Anomalous Cowturd
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Stop

Re: Good

That was Not the nine o'clock news!

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Opera buys mobe friendly VPN app bods SurfEasy

Anomalous Cowturd
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FAIL

@LeeD

True, so true.

Still running Opera 12.16 here, and will be for the foreseeable future.

:o(

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We're not sure what it is, but we like it: Lexus NX300h hybrid SUV

Anomalous Cowturd
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Meh

Butt ugly from all sides!

You can buy a Landy Disco for that sort of money.

Volvo XC90 for five grand more.

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Price slashed on Reg-branded Swiss Army Knife

Anomalous Cowturd
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FAIL

Re: Errr...

Except when you click on the link, the price has miraculously changed to £15.99 not £14.99, so 20% is right.

:o(

elReg fail.

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TalkTalk 'fesses up to MEGA data breach

Anomalous Cowturd
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WTF?

@Vimes

Marketing speak is everywhere these days. Get used to it, and learn to read between the lines!

I just received the email from TalkTalk, but as I never speak to unsolicited callers unless I know them personally, it's not a problem for me, or anyone with half a clue about security.

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BOFH: The Great HellDesk geek leave seek

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: I had a company credit card too

My most blatant one was a receipt from Asda for a dozen Durex ribbed condoms, which I insisted were PPE.

Questions were asked, but they couldn't argue with my logic...

;o)

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Now Samsung's spying smart TVs insert ADS in YOUR OWN movies

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: How deep will it go?

It's turtles all the way down.

:o)

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The Interview? Kim Jong-Un, you really shouldn’t have bothered

Anomalous Cowturd
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Unhappy

Complete waste of bandwidth.

I downloaded it on the back of its reputation, but gave up watching after about 20 minutes.

Not a snigger passed my lips.

Utter shite!

Deleted...

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BOO! Grave remote-code exec flaw in GNU C Library TERRIFIES Linux

Anomalous Cowturd
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Linux

Re: Not Again

Hard to fix?

That will be why the updated libs were pushed out this afternoon to my Ubuntu, Debian and Centos boxes.

You're right, that wasn't hard at all.

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Feds dig up law from 1789 to demand Apple, Google decrypt smartphones, slabs

Anomalous Cowturd
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Pint

@Camberwick Green

Meet our very own Mr. Frothy.

Try not to take him too seriously.

Icon? Frothy head!

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Tax Systems: The good, the bad and the completely toot toot ding-dong loopy

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: xkcd.com/435

I prefer the "alt" text.

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No, the Linux leap second bug WON'T crash the web

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: Time lords in Paris

Like dropping a pencil down a well.

Snigger.

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This one shall pass! Not even a flesh wound from ‘Monty Python’ SPACE ROCK

Anomalous Cowturd
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Coat

Re: @Alistair

Elk, Shirley?

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ICANN's technical competence queried by Verisign report

Anomalous Cowturd
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Meh

So, should I complain to my MP?

Would he have a clue what I was talking about?

Who'm I gonna call?

BullshitNOMINET?

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GCHQ: We can't track crims any more thanks to Snowden

Anomalous Cowturd
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Re: They were only...

You Sir , are one of my favourite commentards.

Your few words are well chosen, and well targeted.

Have a thumb!

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Anomalous Cowturd
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@ Moiety

How I laughed!

Mr. Frothy it shall be. Now, and forever more.

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: The clueless will pay for their ignorance

Is that you Matt?

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Happy

Re: bear's and pope's @ Mephistro

I saw that one!

Escape to victory. What a classic. Should be on in the next few days. It's Christmas!

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Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

Re: Red Leb at $350 a kilo

Put my name down for three please.

How much for DHL next day delivery?

Icon? Not a chilham, but hey, red Leb!

Not seen that since the Israelis "visited".

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New Zealand Supreme Court says Kim Dotcom search warrants were legal

Anomalous Cowturd
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Joke

Re: Team America: World Police

FUCK YEAH!!!

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Anomalous Cowturd
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@Ole Juul

YOU get it.

I get it.

WE get it.

THEY don't get it.

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Careful - your helmet might get squashed by a VOLVO

Anomalous Cowturd
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Holmes

My 16 year old Volvo has an excellent collision prevention device.

Me.

This argument is all down to driver's and cyclist's attitude to each other. We are ALL road users.

Driving requires your full attention at all times.

If you can't give driving/riding your full attention, don't do it.

TL:DR Watch where you're going.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Anomalous Cowturd
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Meh

Re: El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Agreed, but it's still way too white.

</Toggles RedShift on early>

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Anomalous Cowturd
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FAIL

It's shite Roy.

Just put it back how it was on Wednesday.

Thanks.

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