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* Posts by Chris Hance

34 posts • joined 19 Mar 2010

LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

Chris Hance

Ex horreum, fugam.

(From the shed [/barn], flight.)

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Dreaded redback spider's NEMESIS: Forgotten Captain Cook wasps

Chris Hance

Re: Is that a fingerprint on the lens...

To be fair, it's hard not to get shallow depth of field in macro shots like that. On a 100 mm lens, f/8 at a 30 centimeters from the sensor gives you less than 0.2 cm DOF. Drop it to f/22 and you get a whopping 0.52 cm in focus.

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@UnSteveDorkland Twitter satirist faces 4 charges in US court

Chris Hance

Re: That's odd

@AC 16:12

Was that irony? Sorry, I'm American, so I couldn't tell.

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Chess algorithm written by Alan Turing goes up against Kasparov

Chris Hance

@UncleSiggy

Impossible. One is readable, and the other doesn't generally exist until after the project is done. And then only as "not this".

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SpaceX launch put off for a week

Chris Hance
Terminator

Right, it's the "don't exterminate the meatbags" code that needs work.

Any self-respecting capsule control program isn't going to take kindly to being grappled and flung about the cosmos. Convincing it not to retaliate is obviously taking longer than anticipated.

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Microsoft tech turns any object into a touchscreen

Chris Hance
Facepalm

<-- The reboot "gesture" for the EM tech in the linked article.

With this, we'd have to settle for "Bash head here to reboot." Depression in the wall indeed.

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Mars, Europe losers in Obama's 2013 NASA budget

Chris Hance
Mushroom

Self-sufficient?

And "mother Earth" will be demanding tribute, right? Consider the moon's low escape velocity, and what Earth's gravity will do to any object lobbed in our direction.

"I got your taxes right here!" Cue many double-decker buses worth of moon rock going bloody fast.

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NASA: Solar system may have alien origin

Chris Hance

@Wombling_Free: Well, yes.

His is the one with the oxygen in it.

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T-Mobile hails first 'truly unlimited' smartphone tariff

Chris Hance
Trollface

Waiting for the left-pondian rollout.

If this is priced anything like software, 35USD / month for unlimited everything might be worth switching.

What's that, you say? Exchange rates? I don't think electronics companies have heard of them.

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Apple and Google ramp up proxy war

Chris Hance

See, it's just like the Cold War.

By your spelling, this legal battle is obviously taking place in a "hard-to-pronounce country".

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Kiwis collar Megaupload kingpin, Anonymous exacts revenge

Chris Hance
Windows

"one of their laws (that no one outside the USA voted for or had a say in)"

You'll find that precious few of us, the irrelevant masses (formerly, "We, the people"), inside the USA voted for or had a say in them either.

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Hubble probes star death blast clue to universe riddle

Chris Hance

It's our sitcoms and reality shows!

Obviously "the mysterious dark energy that they posit is propelling matter outwards as a repulsive force". It's not that the universe is expanding. It's just that everything everywhere is trying to get away from us.

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The moment a computer crash nearly caused my car crash

Chris Hance
Terminator

But if they save him now, they can continue to prepare for the coming biocide without the meatbags suspecting anything. Sounds plausible to me.

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'Puzzling structures on surface' of YU55 spaceball

Chris Hance

Well, you could intercept.

I'd suggest calling the probe "Plecia nearctica" for all the members of that species that I have to scrape off my car's windshield every spring. Granted, it might not be in terribly useful condition after the impact.

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New flash RAM tech promises 99% energy drop

Chris Hance

That's ok, because they did reverse the polarity; it "switches polarity when an electric field is applied to it." We'll have to wait and see if they change the intermix ratio, and where tachyon emissions fit into it.

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Elon Musk's SpaceX to build 'Grasshopper' hover-rocket

Chris Hance

It's not the weight.

It's the luggage. We need an entire SUV to carry our kit for a weekend trip to the beach, nevermind into space.

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Google Chrome beta turns on native code machine

Chris Hance

Chrome frame

If the user is conditioned to accept all plug-in installation requests (or anything witha Yes/No dialog), the computer probably already has Chrome frame installed. So the penetration may be close to IE levels.

Of course, nobody ever targeted ActiveX when it meant their stuff only runs on IE. Right?

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Google erects master API for linking web apps

Chris Hance

XML facilitates blame.

When you're trying to exchange data in the corporate world, where data = money, and your data exchange doesn't work, XML saves the day.

With JSON or binary data, you better have a solid, unambiguous document describing what elements and data types go where, capitalization and all. I've spent hours hunting down issues, even when I wrote both the sender and the recipient. Multi-language debugathons are a great way to spend an afternoon.

With XML, if the data validates against the agreed-upon schema, it's the recipient's fault. If it doesn't, it's the sender's fault.

And knowing [who to blame] is half the battle.

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Google waggles free* Android phones at Americans

Chris Hance
Facepalm

Once again, Google sets off scammer sense

First the "your computer appears to be infected" message, now "get something free, really, trust us."

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Chinese lecturer demands his students acquire iPads

Chris Hance

Given their respective track records?

Did the developer have anything to do with Vista? Yes? Ok, give me a minute, I'm still trying to decide.

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Blow to the head makes people feel good about religion

Chris Hance
Pint

Summary: Thinking is unpleasant.

People who don't accept what abook or a preacher say, on the sole authority of said book or preacher, have to think for themselves. And spend most of their time dealing with people who don't think. Kind of like working on a help desk. Not good for one's sense of inner peace.

Speaking of which...

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Boffins pull plug on SETI alien-seeking antenna array

Chris Hance

Apparently 2 bankers read El Reg

And I'm just as shocked as you are.

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Google pours millions into wind power

Chris Hance
Headmaster

10L/1km, perhaps?

I think you shifted a zero in the wrong direction, particularly if going for hyperbole. I seriously doubt any US(-marketed) car gets upwards of 200 mpg, which is what your math implies.

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Amazon jumps the gun on free clouds

Chris Hance

Clueless or clever?

I'm trying to figure out whether you missed the irony, or are just playing along. I believe you'll find Amazon's service uses "American". But being an American, I doubt any of the English speakers here will be able to read this post.

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Fire-quenching electric forcefield backpack invented

Chris Hance

In that case, definitely don't cross the streams.

Somehow a high-volume water discharge meeting a high-voltage electric field doesn't strike me as the safest plan for all involved.

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Obama to overhaul heinous US patent system

Chris Hance
Joke

Prevent the patenting of what?

Surely there's no prior art for common sense. But I think it's already impossible to patent. It'll never be a business method.

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Storage sale SHOCK: WD to buy Hitachi GST

Chris Hance

except that RAID-5 writes in parallel

If you're striping, you really want all the drives to be as close to identical as possible, so you're distribuitng the writes evenly. If one has a faster sustained write, but another has a faster seek time, but a third has the highest data density... I think my RAID controller just preemptively let out the magic smoke.

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Surrey nudists tossed out into the cold after lease expires

Chris Hance

Hence

the blue... oh, it said bells. Nevermind.

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Bond 23 back on track for 2012

Chris Hance
Coat

Agreed.

You'd think with the budget, they could've made it a little less obvious that Avatar was all CGI.

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Zeal Optics Transcend GPS goggles

Chris Hance
Pint

I'm shocked!

I thought no El Reg staff objected to getting plastered, particularly when getting paid for it. I guess the beer might get too cold on the slopes, but I don't see what trees have to do with it.

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Microsoft shields Russia's refuseniks from police harassment

Chris Hance

But his statement is entirely truthful.

Improper personal gain is a problem. Improper corporate gain is SOP.

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Yes, software can be patented, US Supremes say

Chris Hance

Not sure about that last part...

Forget legal battles. If a copyright's still in private ownership, "death for individuals" could be an incentive to... accelerate things.

"You see this knife? Look closely and you'll see the words 'public domain' etched in the blade. You should've entered your works into public domain, now public domain is going to enter you."

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Small and mobile ISPs may avoid new filesharing laws

Chris Hance

This cannot pass.

It actually encourages competition, instead of forcing everyone into the clutches of our corporate masters. Somebody obviously forgot to bri... er, explain the issue to the right politician.

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Dell bars Win 7 refunds from Linux lovers

Chris Hance
Coat

Does not compute

"Lawyer" "telling the truth"?

Huh?

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