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* Posts by perlcat

483 posts • joined 13 Mar 2010

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Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row

perlcat
Coat

You guys got it all wrong.

I want Barbie to do my laptop servicing.

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BOFH: An UNHOLY MATCH forged amid the sweet smell of bullsh*t

perlcat

Re: Swoons

You are not the only one. She slams my doors, too.

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What kind of generation doesn't stick it to the Man, but to Taylor Swift instead?

perlcat

Re: If you want to make a million from playing music...

Excellent advice. People have to understand that if a record company made an artist a millionaire, it's because they made themselves billionaires.

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perlcat

Wrong.

That's how "crony capitalism" works. Crony capitalism works by taking money and power from the people in order to award it to the politically connected. If you understand that pattern, you may find that your politics may be challenged.

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BOFH: SOOO... You want to sell us some antivirus software?

perlcat

@Peter2

I love your sweeping generalisation that all exe's are bad. I work as a sysadmin, and trolls like you are why I have to first zip exe's using weird compression, rename them to .tiff, open with a hex editor and insert 1029 bytes of tiff file information at the top, just so I can transfer a file, remove the 1029 bytes, rename to whatever zip format and uncompress them and do my job. Pray to whatever gods you believe in that I never discover what kind of car you drive, where you eat, or where you sleep. Revenge is a dish best served totally unbeknownst to the target.

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Feeling safe in your executive hotel suite, Mr CEO? Well, DON'T

perlcat

Re: Consider the target

For most of the executroids I know of, the definition of a "zero day exploit" is any and all zero day exploits ranging back to Jan 1, 1970. Power hath its privileges, but is certainly unaffected by the learning curve.

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Dating website for damaged-stiffy sufferers suffers stiff damage: £10m bill for leak

perlcat

Re: "These profiles were shared with up to 1,000 individual websites"

I can't believe you actually put these words in a sentence: "politicians are left with no choice but to do the right thing."

The only way politicians will do that is if you hold a gun to their head.

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HUGE SHARK as big as a WWII SUBMARINE died out, allowing whales to exist

perlcat

Their "simulation" is simply not science.

In other news, similar logic has determined the length of the Chinese emperor's nose. http://imaginatorium.org/stuff/nose.htm

*REAL* scientists measure stuff. This is just another entry for the dictionary in the "bullshitology" section.

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Short movie explaining what it's like to SysAdmin

perlcat

Short movie explaining what it's like to SysAdmin

http://vimeo.com/105788896

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Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

perlcat

That's not "Hedley"

ObBlazingSaddlesJoke.

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perlcat

@ Marina

You and I look at the same thing and see two different things. Yes, I have no doubt that your contributions are ignored, and even that they claim it is because you're female. There's a lot that goes into that sort of workplace idiocy, and drawing the conclusion that it's really, truly because of your feminine genitalia is self-defeating. It actually hands the tools to defeat your spirit to the people most likely to use them to take advantage of you.

The same jerks that ignore your contributions are ignoring the Pakistani guy because of his skin color, the Indian guy because of his accent, and the self-educated person from a poor family because "he's not one of us", as Eleanor Roosevelt put it so well. I'd say that a business that actually respects its IT talent is a one-in-a-million thing.

What you're really saying when you express frustration with the way things are, is that you want to live in a world without assholes. No kidding. Me, too! Some days, it's schadenfreude that gets me to go to work, other days, it's my morbid curiosity, and frequently, it's a combination of both.

There's no reason to leave IT because you've struck asshole -- if you went elsewhere, I can assure you that you will find assholes there as well. Just study the situation, learn from it, and remember, that until you are in charge, you have to abide by the idiosyncrasies of the people that are. Also remember, that being "in charge" doesn't mean "management" -- team members are often even stupider.

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perlcat

Re: Gender parity == hogwash. @ThomH

Well, nobody said life was fair. At least the newly un-hobbled man has a chance that didn't exist before.

The problem is how or whether to "fix" unfairness. Using governmental intervention to fix unfairness isn't a slippery slope; it's a precipice. Sure, things like affirmative action opened doors in many places for many people -- but the problem is that once outside forces start to dictate winners and losers, the system gets perverted and abused.

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perlcat

Gender parity == hogwash.

First off; the concept "there aren't enough women in computing, so we must do something about it" has its foundation in the (erroneous) concept that women are somehow inferior in their ability to seek and obtain IT work, and therefore need "help" getting into it. I have tried for years to get my daughters into IT -- despite the attractions of it, they don't want to. Never mind that they are currently working for peanuts -- they just aren't attracted to the field. This in spite of the fact that I have connections that can get them into a well-compensated part of the biz.

It isn't a lack of a desire for joining the anorak set -- the multiple "just so" explanations that a programmer has to be some pimply-faced basement-dweller seem ludicrous in this situation. They just don't want to.

Word to the "feminists" out there -- the moment you state that legislation/external encouragement is needed in order to bring "parity" to the number of women in IT is the moment that you have stated that women as a whole* are not able to fairly compete in an equal marketplace, and are insulting the brilliant women who have proven their skills before you. An equal opportunity hire, IMO, is an Orwellian term for "incompetent, but we hired her because it looks nice", dilutes the amount of salary available for men and women with actual skills, and demeans the women in IT who are actually talented.

* note: I would never make that statement. Some are, some aren't. It all depends upon the individual.

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Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE

perlcat

...so *that's* what's under the kilts.

It's even worse than I'd imagined.

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Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz

perlcat

Re: How do I "horde" something?

Every time I read where someone wants me to "horde" something, I print it, and save it with my stash of such things. I'm preserving a large collection of them. A "hoard", if you will.

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Dairy Queen cuts the waffle, says bank cards creamed in 395 eateries

perlcat

@tnovelli

Exactly. The entire identity theft industry is predicated on the stunning negligence in using someone else's numbering system as a financial identity. (It began as stunning ignorance, but morphed into stunning negligence as people became aware of all the places it is being misused.) In a sane world, the only thing a social security number thief should be able to do is collect your benefit and pay your taxes.

Not sure how you could avoid using a credit card number for financial purpose, though.

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Ice probe peers at hidden BOTTOMS of oceans from SPAAACE

perlcat
Coat

...and if you're lucky...

the rest of Bikini Bottom.

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OMG!! With nothing but MACHINE TOOLS, STEEL and PARTS you can make a GUN!!

perlcat

Meh. Can't win here.

Any discussion of guns draws out the nutters on both sides.

Nice article, Lewis, thanks for trying to keep the discussion reasonable.

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George Clooney, WikiLeaks' lawyer wife hand out burner phones to wedding guests

perlcat

Re: "burner weddings"?

With a duration measured in 'kardashians', no doubt.

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Poverty? Pah. That doesn't REALLY exist any more

perlcat

Re: Anybody here heard of the OECD?

You're spot on. It's poor choices that engender hunger in the US. I've seen the shopping carts of the "hungry" EBT-wielders in the US. If I ate trash like that, I'd weigh 500 lbs, too, and couldn't afford 21 meals a week at that rate, either. The problem is that when you take the social obligation away from charity, then it gets viewed as an entitlement, rather than something to help a person to make it to self-sufficiency. Entitlements get spent in the same way lottery winnings do.

I don't think there is any way to turn social spending of this nature into something that accomplishes its actual stated purpose -- much like prisons that create criminals out of those unfortunate enough to find themselves on the wrong side of the law, it's a "feel-good" non-remedy that gets politicians elected.

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perlcat

The cause of activism

Activism is a profession in and of itself. The best activists embrace causes that will not go away, and often contribute to prolonging them, either intentionally, or through the profound ignorance that seems to be job requirement number one for activists. Activism makes an excellent, lucrative profession, with great benefits and public notoriety.

"Poverty" and "Inequality" are the hot ones these days. Poverty has been redefined in the western world to equal the bottom 10% of the local economy, much like inequality has been redefined as being the 99%. Neither will ever go away -- it takes an absolute moron to believe that through some action, they can change 10% into some other number, and an even greater moron to believe that they should make the attempt in spite of the body of evidence proving that with very few, and limited exceptions, *all* past efforts at doing this have failed. By definition, the bottom 10% will always be the bottom 10%. There will always be morons who can't figure that out. The good news for the activists is that by trying to "fix" poverty and inequality, whole new groups of disadvantaged will be created.

Nowhere in the non-first world, are the "poor" graced with computers, cellphones, and cars. They are instead graced with actual hunger. Not the first-world hunger, either, where a morbidly obese person, eating enough overpriced pre-prepared trash at one meal for seven humans, complains that they have to skip one meal a week -- in my unlearned opinion, that just means they need to skip 5 more before they get back to the right weekly caloric intake. Regardless, that seems to be the latest activist rallying cry: "We have to do something about the "hungry" in the US and the UK! It's somehow your fault if you work and pay taxes! Do this right away, before you can think it over!!" It'll be a cold day in hell that I'll feel sorry for a morbidly obese person going hungry. It isn't poor finances that makes them that way, but poor choices, and given that while intelligence is a finite quantity, stupidity has been proven infinite, I don't see a way to eliminate poor choices other than by paying a bounty to idiots to get sterilized.

Our media is clear full of bullshit "documentaries" trying to get you to buy their stupid arguments -- anybody with an IQ over room temperature should be able to figure out that they are the modern day descendant's of Phineas T. Barnum's freak show, out there titillating the masses for pay and notoriety.

If you want to improve society, my best advice is that whenever you see an "activist", punch them in the teeth. (figuratively speaking)

I took a friend who came from actual poverty ($200/month income in 2001) to a US McDonald's, where we watched a woman scarf down three supersized adult meals, fries, ice cream and all. The best part? She had a Diet Coke with it. Apparently, a Diet Coke is a kind of talisman, that you can wave at a 9,000 calorie meal, and have it turn into nothing. Just so you know, like most talismans, it didn't work. I bet she was over 450 lbs. That's not counting her large family (avoirdupoisally, rather than numerically speaking). Needless to say, my companions were amazed by it.

(The only talisman I know of that actually works is my Aluminum Baseball Bat of Pain, which brings on pain.)

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THE DEATH OF ECONOMICS: Aircraft design vs flat-lining financial models

perlcat

What a lovely nutty article.

While the conclusion that economics is not being treated as a science raises a good point, this loosely edited collection of paranoia and non sequiturs "sense makes none it does, with alacrity and much alarm."

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You are here => Earth is in 'the suburbs' of an IMMENSE HEAVEN

perlcat

Dyslexia strikes again

Read that as "Lana Ikea". Was briefly amused at the thought of all humanity wandering about in the bowels of a cosmically huge assemble-it-your-sorry-arsed-self furniture store. Briefly, mind you.

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4th Century GOBLET could REVIVE CORPSE of holographic storage

perlcat

Re: Romans: people who knew what's what

Do you suppose they'd have cat pictures as well? ...and what would Latin LOLCatSpeak be like? Enquiring minds would like to know.

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perlcat

Re: How...

My guess is they used either some solvent or other chemical action to break the gold and silver up, and later precipitate them out...

Just wondering -- when gold is in solution in mercury, and the mercury is boiled off, what size the gold particles are. That technology's been around a long, long, long time.

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BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

perlcat

I don't call a spade a spade. I call it a BLT -- Beancounter Liberation Tool.

Id, of course, doesn't liberate the beancounters -- it liberates me from them.

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Physicist proposes 1,000-foot state-sized walls to stop tornadoes

perlcat
Go

Re: Being American..

Why, thank you, Don Jefe. Your post was deliciously insane, and like all true masters of the craft, I cannot tell whether you are serious or not.

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Snowden never blew a whistle, US spy boss claims

perlcat

Re: KerryTruth®. So nourishing you absolutely want to hear more of it!™

We call him "Lurch" for the uncanny resemblance.

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Those NSA 'reforms' in full: El Reg translates US Prez Obama's pledges

perlcat

Re: TL;DR

As an American, you're right. All's this was was getting smoke blown up the world's collective asses. It isn't even to keep businesses going -- The American Toom Tabard is only concerned with political goals, and hasn't paid any attention to businesses in the US -- arguably to the world's detriment -- in general, his stunning lack of competence, coupled with his incredible ego and his hyper-partisanship has meant anything he has tried to "accomplish" has turned to shite. He needs to go back to being a nobody community organizer.

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Amazon workers in Delaware reject trade union membership

perlcat

Re: Amazon is not Italy.

I remember the retail workers union in St. Louis -- we always marveled at them, as with their "bargaining skills", they wound up making minimum wage, while non-union workers in other towns made double that. The problem is they forgot that once you take that step into collective bargaining, you have to bargain for everything all the time. Non-union towns had to keep up with the market.

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Haitian snapper humbles photo giants AFP, Getty Images in $1.2m copyright victory

perlcat

Re: No jail time?

Jail time's only for the little guys.

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Google shows off scanned-in Gettysburg Address drafts

perlcat

Re: shock horror!

It is not that simple. There was a lot more to the Civil War than the false dichotomy of "free the slaves" vs "keep the slaves" people have reduced this to. Lincoln was a political hack in the extreme. Slavery didn't need a war to bring it to an end -- in many nations at the time, it ended, simply because it was no longer profitable. (not that slavery has totally ended as of this day -- there is a lot of slavery yet in this world.)

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BOFH: GOATSE? No, I said goat fetis... you know what, forget it

perlcat

Another use for goats.

You know, a good goat will do that.

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Secrets of Apple's mysterious Arizona sapphire factory: Our expert whispers all

perlcat

Re: +1

a +1 for your +1.

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Brit inventor Dyson challenges EU ruling on his hoover's energy efficiency ratings

perlcat
Coat

Re: A can of worms..

Looks like the Dyson Sphere of influence is shrinking.

[rimshot]

That's a joke, son, get it?

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BILLION-TONNE BELCH emitted from Sun to hit Earth this weekend

perlcat

Re: A reminder of how puny we are

Easy there, Ozymandius.

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perlcat
Coat

Re: Fireworks

Why "male(sic) a big deal about it"?

It's freudian! We have sunspots, and we now have sunspooge -- the stellar daytime equivalent of nocturnal emissions.

[I know. BAD DOG PERLCAT!! NO BISCUIT!]

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'Silent' staff stood by as £100m BBC IT project tanked – DG

perlcat

That's going to lave a mark -- not.

A news organization that makes it a practice to not hear opinions and facts that it does not like? Humorous.

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Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

perlcat

Re: @Ragarath - The Smell!

Bet it gave them no end of amusement to use that old saying: "Clean enough to eat off of."

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perlcat
Coat

./= "...and it burns burns burns us" ./=

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perlcat

Re: Right-angle poo

In the US, it's usually called a "mud pipe".

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Tech war latest: Today's leather tools 'invented by NEANDERTHALS'

perlcat

Uh OH.

The Beast of Cupertino will be out at the dig with their C&D's in 3..2..1...

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perlcat

Have fun searching for pictures of a modern lissoir.

Alternate search suggestion:

"Did you mean pissoir pictures?"

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US taxmen told to hush up shadowy drug squad unit laundering NSA intel

perlcat

Re: Just a heads up.

...actually, yes we can. We have to rise up, and push our states to use the 10th amendment tools we already have.

We can't rely upon ANY of the feds to rein in their lawlessness -- voting the bums out will just get us new bums in. There's a LOT of usurpation of State's Rights going on, from DOMA, to drug laws, to the whole metric shit-tone that has happened in the past 12 years.

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Confirmed: Bezos' salvaged Saturn rocket belonged to Apollo 11

perlcat
Mushroom

I'll just stand way off while you...

try to fire a rocket engine that has spent 40+ years on the seabed. It's been nice knowing you. I've included a lovely icon of what the last moment of your life will be like.

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Ex-prez Carter: 'America has no functioning democracy' with PRISM

perlcat

"Carter", "non-functioning" -- in the same sentence.

You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

I used to think he was a weathervane for crackpot ideas -- I'm not so sure anymore that there's even that much consistency to his babble.

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How the clammy claws of Novell NetWare were torn from today's networks

perlcat
Unhappy

Re: Nostaglia isn't what it used to be...

....and don't forget the Foul Beast's including an emulation of Netware 3.12 as network services. Novell left an opening at 4.x NDS, with small shops wanting to keep the bindery on their small networks, and M$ gave it away.

I saw that, and said "well, so much for me getting a 4.0 CNE."

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Feds BANNED from DEF CON by founder (who is Obama's cyber-expert)

perlcat

In other news...

Moss is *shocked* to discover that the feds are spying.

Hope he gets over his case of the vapours pretty soon.

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Sysadmins: Everything they told you about backup WAS A LIE

perlcat

Re: Strongly Agree: Backups don't really matter.

I can condense it down even further.

Nobody ever gets fired for backup failures. They get fired for failing to restore.

.

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Hubble spots ALIEN NAVY world – and it's pelted with GLASS RAIN

perlcat

Re: Alternatively, it might be home

Hooray for Hooloovoo.

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