Feeds

* Posts by Helena Handcart

81 posts • joined 10 Mar 2010

Page:

Vintage WINE laid down in SIXTEEN HUNDRED BC was 'psychotropic'

Helena Handcart
Pint

Re: Decant

But if, as you say, they brewed their wine in significantly sized batches, then it doesn't take a big leap to assume they had a strict recipe and quality control to ensure they could turn a good profit to afford large-scale wine production.

3
0
Helena Handcart
Coat

Re: Bring in Dogfish Head!

Molecular archaeologists? They must have very small trowels.

9
0

Thanks, NSA: Amazon sales of Orwell's 1984 rise 9,500%

Helena Handcart
Thumb Up

Re: The Computer is Your Friend

Stay alert. Trust no one. Keep your laser handy.

2
0

Feds use Instagram pic of delicious steak dinner to nab ID thieves

Helena Handcart

Re: In the words of Morrisssey...

... and murder tastes pretty damn good.

4
0

DARPA looks for a guided bullet with DEAD reckoning navigation

Helena Handcart

Re: "Jackal" eat your heart out.

"and that means there's not a politician in the world will be safe"

I don't see a problem here.

4
1

Bogus gov online test tells people on dole they're just SO employable

Helena Handcart
Big Brother

Aside from its sinister Orwellian questioning, question 13 doesn't make sense:

I have taken frequent stands in the face of strong opposition.

What is a frequent stand? Some compulsion to leap out of my seat perhaps. Difficult to do when you're being waterboarded I'd imagine.

6
0

Apple branded porno-peddling perverts by Chinese Pravda

Helena Handcart

Re: Dear 'The Register'

But a rather tired one.

9
10

'You can keep it' - Brit's nicked laptop turns up on Iranians' sofa

Helena Handcart

Re: err..

If, as someone else posted, Apple products cannot be sold in Iran, then they must have known it was illegal - either stolen or black market. Also, having someone else's stuff on it would be a bit of a giveaway it wasn't remotely legit.

12
3

Inuit all along: Pirate Bay flees Sweden for Greenland

Helena Handcart
Coat

With all this moving around from country to country, does anyone else hear the Benny Hill music...?

6
0

Spooky action at a distance is faster than light

Helena Handcart
Thumb Up

Reading all these wonderful posts nicely proves the aphorism "if you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don't understand quantum mechanics."

7
0

Perfect sex minx calculated from 'deep' probe of X-rated flicks

Helena Handcart
Mushroom

Re: ::yawns::

Hold on. You say that wasting an institution's bandwidth is a firing offence, well that's as maybe but what has that got to do with the article? Do you think the researcher used university bandwidth without permission?

Also, you think that no one is interested in the physical details of people they fantasize about? Try telling that to the foot fetishists, BBW lovers, artificial/natural/big/small breast afficionados, the researchers and funders of this study, or indeed yours truly. Smutty jokes aside, this is quite reasonable research into what people (or at least Americans) find sexually attractive especially as a fantasy. It would be fascinating to see what differences there are between grumble-flick girls and "real world" girls that people find attractive, or to see how tastes change over time vs fashions, or across cultures.

And seriously, who calls themselves a dude? (With the exception of The Dude of course).

28
0

Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

Helena Handcart
Trollface

Re: Stupid little boy

He's a bit like Hitler really.

0
6

New cunning linguist computer has got ancient tongues licked

Helena Handcart
Coat

Re: I just like to offer....

Sausage!?

2
0

Curiosity raises mighty robotic fist, punches hole in Mars

Helena Handcart
Facepalm

"I'd still be much happier if we were just sending a thousand tiny robots there, and just driving them all away from a central spot. We'd get a lot more area covered, a lot more pretty pictures, find a lot more odd things that deserve closer attention and a failure won't mean failure of the mission."

So once your Martian microbot army has wandered all over the place taking pictures, how exactly are they meant to pay attention to all the odd things they find? They'd need to take samples. Oh wait, your microbots aren't equipped with sampling devices. Fit them with sampling devices you say? What form would they take, I wonder? Drills and chemical analysis units, of course! Wait, hold on a sec...

So I'm very interested in hearing what you think you might find by just photographing the planet (which has already been done from orbit of course). The presence of water increases the probability that life has or may exist, which will open up all sorts of philosophical and theological debates, yet alone our understanding of how life works. It also will tell us lots about the early solar system, which in turn will help predict what to find in other solar systems.

Have you ever seen Robot Wars (or similar)? You know the robots that have spikey-hammer-arms? Yes, they're always shit aren't they, barely scratching some ali plate while throwing the attacking robot around and about thanks to Newton. This is (one reason) why they're using drills and not hammers on Curiosity. Merely cracking it open will give you what appears to be homogenous material for the most part, so you could learn very little from it. The drilling isn't used to see what's on the other side, it's to get right down and taste the composition of the rock which will tell you a shit-load about that rock all all it's nearby friends.

Essentially Lee, you need to get your head out of your arse and discover what _is_ being found, not what you think ought to be.

5
1

El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa

Helena Handcart

Re: Assam only

Assam indeed! My future ex partner got me on to Assam when we first met, and I realised why I was rarely satisfied with my tea up until then. Now my tea recipe is 1 tea bag in the cup, pour on boiling water, agitate the water without mashing the bag, leave for 5 minutes or so, carefully remove bag squeezing it once to reduce drippage, add a reasonable splash of full fat.

A friend once went to her grandparents' house and offerered to make a cuppa for her grandad. "How do you like your tea grampy?" she asked. "I don't know, ask your gran" was his reply.

0
0

Kickstarter project says open source can blast Death Star costs

Helena Handcart

I can see the history books of the future: "The first commercial open-source space station was developed by accident, but has gone on to be forked many times, each base claiming it is truer to the original spec than the rest. They are almost impervious to rebel attacks due to a lack of up-to-date documentation."

22
0

YouTube's hilarious cat videos could soon cost you $5 a month

Helena Handcart

Re: Greedy bastards

It amuses me that the advertisers haven't caught on to the "skip this ad in 5 seconds" button - on the rare occasion I watch an advertising-sponsored video, the ad hasn't told me what it's selling before I skip, so I don't know (or care) what it is they're touting.

3
0

Alien space rocks EXPLODE in fireball over Japan

Helena Handcart
Boffin

Re: *dons pendant hat*

Nope. An astronomical magnitude of 0 is (well, was) based on the star Vega, anything fainter than that is positive, anything brighter is negative on a logarithmic scale.

5
0

5,000 UK pubs get free Wi-Fi... and they're not even all in London

Helena Handcart
Pint

Re: Miss Congeniality ?

Beer.

12
1

'SHUT THE F**K UP!' The moment Linus Torvalds ruined a dev's year

Helena Handcart
Coat

'Christ this is horribly ugly code, how could you ever accept this?'

Should have written it in C++ then.

1
2

'Metadatagate' fails to bring down Oz pollie

Helena Handcart
Big Brother

Re: Time Legacy.

The problem is, you wouldn't then need the wall of clocks showing the time in different cities, which would leave my underground lair bereft. I'd still have the huge map of the world I suppose, but the wall would look naked.

7
0

Hmm, I think I'll order an iPad Mini on Amazon ... Oh no I won't

Helena Handcart
IT Angle

Re: Both products are a big fail.

I think they should perhaps throw away their devices and do something together rather than watching TV separately.

1
0

State of Minnesota bans free online education

Helena Handcart

And by demagoguery you mean...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHQ2756cyD8

0
0

Analogue TV snuffs it tonight on UK mainland

Helena Handcart
Pint

Genius. That is all.

0
0

Ten external battery packs

Helena Handcart

Re: amprere hours

Ah, but that is likely to produce lower numbers, so how will manufacturers be able to say it's better than the competition? cf hard-drive manufacturers, digital camera manufacturers.

0
1

Fans rap Apple's 'crap' Map app

Helena Handcart

Re: Shit-for-brains Archeaologist

Charming: definitely not, but as an archaeologist I'm not going to vote shagbag down because he's sort of right. Certainly in temperate climes, commercial aerial photography is often ill-suited to archaeological sites because there is often a fairly small window of time to get a good snap of crop or soil marks. Low raking light, a light dusting of snow just on the melt, rainfall that happened a few hours or days before, just the right time after planting of certain cereal crops, are all good times to pick out the very subtle variations in soil and crop colour and drainage, but these conditions are generally not flown by commercial units when their brief is to capture a district or county - at least not deliberately.

It is also very inefficient to scroll around aerial photography on the off-chance of finding an anomaly that hasn't already been recorded, with a view to excavating it. The closest process that is used is one of inference: watchtower A is here and watchtower C is here, they're not intervisible, so putative watchtower B is probably somewhere here. But assuming permission and funding have been obtained, using an iPad on site to look at commercial photography would get you laughed off site, or at least accused of not doing your research beforehand.

0
0

Hello Miracast vid-beaming: ANOTHER thing the iPhone 5 hasn't got

Helena Handcart
Happy

Re: Not knowing about AirPlay fail

Calm down dear.

3
2

Hate the Windows 8 touch UI? Try Kinect-like finger shaking instead

Helena Handcart
Boffin

That's your problem right there...

"If I'm working on PowerPoint I will go to my familiar PowerPoint.”

PowerPoint != work

5
1

Samsung Galaxy Beam Android projector phone review

Helena Handcart
Happy

Re: If you're going to put pictures like that into a phone review...

Perhaps you ought to get a job where your boss isn't a Puritan.

Take off your tie, wear a t-shirt, grow your hair; be the person that loves life rather than one of the people who are afraid of authority. Celebrate the female and male forms in all their naketude, especially those with dragon tattoos.

6
20

JELLYFISH bio-bot built with rat cells to mend broken hearts

Helena Handcart
Thumb Down

Silly cone

It looks like our favourite hack is confused between silicon and silicone. Let's hope the boffins know the difference.

3
0

Stonehenge WASN'T built by ALIENS - Boffins' shock claim

Helena Handcart

"Henge's would have been cattle corrals: those with standing stones would have been defensive: they would have been built by early seafaring incomers"

Stonehenge is a fair old trek from the sea.

2
0
Helena Handcart

Re: It's a matter of taste but...

No, a henge has its ditch inside its bank, whereas an enclosure has the ditch on the outside - just like Stonehenge. Even wikipedia agrees with me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonehenge#Etymology

1
0
Helena Handcart
Headmaster

Re: It's a matter of taste but...

Funnily enough, technically it's not a henge - the ditch and bank are the wrong way round.

2
0
Helena Handcart
Mushroom

Re: I call Bollocks

*sigh*

Yes, finding any amount of stone-age remains is hard, especially before the neolithic, and so yes technically there is quite a lot of extrapolation. But do you think that's because archaeologists can't be arsed finding sites? Or that they like to tell a good story, evidence be damned? That they just dick about in wet muddy holes all day for shits and giggles? No. A site is identified - Stonehenge is a fairly obvious one - and a shit-ton of work is done to gather as much data as possible, a tricky proposition when the site is protected to the hilt. And then years of expert opinion and experience is brought to bare, as well as diverse scientific processes and data analysis, and the data is sorted, sifted, and interpreted for the benefit of you Robert E A Harvey, who clearly has not an iota of an idea of what's involved, but still feel interested enough to pen some vacuous rubbish.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of flights of fancy (Alison Sheridan is guilty of this IMO), and (perhaps deliberately) you happen to choose one of the biggest culprits alive today - and he is certainly not level-headed nor practical. But the likes of Prof Parker Pearson are the leading examples in their field of study. So perhaps you ought to go and read some of his stuff, or any of the myriad sound authors (Scarre, Thomas, Richards are some that spring to mind), and then shut the fuck up.

15
2

'People should be free from Peeping Toms' snapping pics of them!

Helena Handcart
Headmaster

Re: What's [sic] with the sick sic?

But it's political rhetoric: start from the general and work to the specific in three steps. It introduces the reader or listener to the problem, then it's turned towards the individual to make them feel threatened by some non-threat.

That said, it sort of sounds like he's saying he wants privacy in your home. I didn't say it was _good_ rhetoric.

0
0
Helena Handcart
Pint

Re: What's [sic] with the sick sic?

The editorial team must have gone to the pub _really_ early. Either that or they're still out from the night before. What's worse is that I look at the "your home" bit and I'm starting to convince myself it's wrong even though I know it to be right.

[sic] comes from "thus was it written", implying not just typos and grammar errors, but meaning and content too.

3
0

UK.gov Open Data site fills up with spam

Helena Handcart

Re: giving it all away for nowt

I wish we could vote more than once for posts. Top stuff Thad.

5
0

Scots council: 9-yr-old lunch blogger was causing 'distress and harm'

Helena Handcart

Re: Bah!

I wonder if it's the catering company who are telling the council that it's all vegetarian lasagne, while trousering the difference. Corporate catering in schools? Yes please!

1
0

US secret spaceplane will come back to Earth sometime soon

Helena Handcart
Trollface

""The men and women of Team Vandenberg are ready to execute safe landing operations anytime and at a moment's notice," Colonel Nina Armagno, the 30th Space Wing commander said in a canned statement." Said Brid-Aine Parnell in a canned statement.

1
0

Cable to stimulate stiff growth in entrepreneurs' trousers

Helena Handcart
Stop

Re: Worst use of inuendo ever?

And of course, because it's a Brid-Aine article, there is the ubiquitous "canned statement". If Apple were somehow involved, there would be a "fruity firm" reference in there somewhere too. It makes me wonder if she has macros set up to avoid typing those canned phrases.

0
0

Glider pilot 'swallowed camera memory' say plunge tragedy cops

Helena Handcart

"...and is the owner-operator of Vancouver Hang Gliding." Not for much longer I suspect.

1
0

LOHAN ideas..

Helena Handcart

Re: Control electronics

I just came across this link for the FIREFLY "DIY exploration platform":

http://evadot.com/2012/05/03/firefly-your-diy-exploration-platform/

It might save a bit of time with the launch vehicle electronics.

0
0

Mega-star HD 10180 could have more planets than the Sun

Helena Handcart
Facepalm

Re: "in the crispy-fried zone for humanity or similar-bodied aliens"

*sigh* The clue's in the title, Tony.

1
0

Lawyers of Mordor menace Hobbit boozer

Helena Handcart
Thumb Up

Genius

That is all.

1
1

UK-French drone aircraft blueprints nicked at Paris station

Helena Handcart
Coat

Re: What an idiot

While you were writing that, I nicked your wallet.

8
0

LOHAN's flying truss: One orb or two?

Helena Handcart

Counterbalances

IANAE, but I suspect most suggested forms of counterbalance could form unwanted oscillations, especially active ones such as the mercury tilt switch idea. Also Hg's melting point is merely -38.87 degrees C (according to Google).

I like the cross-rigged dual balloons idea of @wiggers, but the wires would get in the way. However, it was suggested by several people a while back that some sort of pre-launch guide rod could be used to catapult the rocket clear of the platform while the motors are firing up, this could be angled in such a way as to clear any rigging and expanded balloons.

A possible problem with the cross rigging, or indeed any rigging of two balloons, is if one balloon is sufficiently quicker than the other, the rigging could jerk taut, straining the fixtures and jolting the whole platform.

Perhaps, during the initial inflation of the balloons, strain gauges could be placed on either end of the truss and launch can only go ahead when they both measure the same amount of lift.

0
0

Drink diet pop all the time? Look forward to VASCULAR DEATH

Helena Handcart

Mega-City One

Synthi-synthi-caf, anyone?

0
0

Shed Xmas flab and debug code with treadmill laptop contraption

Helena Handcart
Big Brother

Black Mirror

15 Million Merits.

That is all.

2
0

NASA confirms first Earth candidate in habitable zone

Helena Handcart
Coat

Woot! Let's go, I can't wait for the colonists to report back with blogs of humanity's first extra-solar colony. What, it'll take 600 years to upload to Wordpress? Meh, no wonder my Facebook friend request hasn't been picked up.

Actaully... anyone up for building the 'B' ark...?

0
0

LOHAN fondles substantial concrete buttocks

Helena Handcart

BAPS

Blast And Projectile Shielding

4
0

Page: