Posts by Secret Agent
19 posts • joined Sunday 7th March 2010 01:55 GMT
Your tax money at work.
title schmitle
I am definitely getting into the tinfoil hat business. This thread is hilarious.
Posted in Do the Webminimum
Argh!
"Nobody wants to help someone who could care less"
Blimey. That makes absolutely no sense. You should watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw
Re: Loser
People are losers at all sorts of things. What about the nutters who go to their local car dealership at 12:01am on new reg day to drive away their new car (and hopefully get a few seconds on the telly).
Or those losers who queued up for Harry Potter books. Or the losers who queue up over night to see a movie.
We're all losers at something or other. Unless of course you spend your days wondering around muttering "Bah humbug" and having a face like smacked arse.
Chill out and enjoy it...
Fair Enough
I can imagine what it is like though. Every time you post a story with Apple of Google in the text you must be modding for England ;-)
Hmmmmm
"Yeah, yeah, booooo. Put yourself in our position. And then imagine what some of the comments on a thread like this will be like. The internet doesn't need to see it."
Hold on a tick - don't you moderate the comments before they are posted? Every time I comment it says someone will have a look at it first. Why post it in the first place and then come along and mod it?
Weird set up.
Tsk
Dear Pakistan
Please fuck off and grow up.
No Regards
The West
pffftt
This can't be right. Reg readers have already told us how useless the iPad is and how it cannot possibly compete with netbooks.
What's the point of studying sales figures if it comes up with the wrong result? Amateurs!
Posted in Queuing for an iPad? Why?
True...
point taken but this has been going on since January when it was announced. How many times do we have to hear the same arguments? Same thing happens with the iPhone and that's been over three years and what have we learned during this time? Some people don't like things that other people do. Whoop Whoop.
We get that people don't like Apple or whatever company. No need to continually beat people over the head with that information.
Posted in Queuing for an iPad? Why?
this title intentionally left blank
Aren't people bored of this now?
"Company X is about to release product Y"
reg comments: "Oh yeah? I have no use for it therefore it is shit and anyone who buys one is a complete moron"
"Don't know why they bother, product Z from Company B is much better - I have one so I need to justify it by saying who incredibly great it is"
"I hate Company X and everything they make is shit. However, I will not take any time to reflect on the strange fact that I *hate* a company and if I wanted to I could just not bother reading anything about them or posting comments about them. Even though time is precious to me (an argument I use to demonstrate Product Y is completely shit) I have plenty available to tell people who are not interested how much I hate Company X"
This is getting really tiresome now. Accept the fact that there is value in it for some people and move on. Life really is too short guys.
Posted in Sam Mendes to helm new Jesus Phone ads
tum-te-tum
Of course nobody uses Video Calls. The question is why? Is it because the experience is a complete pain and is not handled well? In which case Apple may be able to improve it to the point it's not such a hassle.
On the other hand if it's because of carrier costs or that people just don't like the concept then there's not much that can be done. Doesn't mean it's not worth a shot though.
Apple have already shown they can take something that is a niche area and use a good (or at least better) user experience to take it more mainstream - such as the smartphone itself. How much bigger is that market since the iPhone was introduced? Be honest, smartphones were generally awful before then and definitely aimed at people who think being able to ssh into your solaris box while simultaneously background compiling while reading an ebook on the train is what normal people do. iPhone changed that - perhaps they will change video calls.
Time will tell.
Pah
Pics or it didn't happen.
Splendid
Come on boys in Kent - you can do better than this surely?
Obviously what we need here is some sort of massive database of the criminals (i.e. the public). When one wants to engage in a chat with someone else you fill in a form and the on duty KPD (Kent Police Drone) authorises the chat and then monitors it.
If you fall foul of the regulations (not published of course too easy that way) then your banged up and stuck on the nonce list. And given a thorough kicking for good measure.
This is what they want so why bother with all this tiresome in-between stuff? Just bring it in now along with the new laws for walking on the cracks in the pavement and thinking about the weekend while at work.
Twats.
Posted in Boobquake fails to destroy planet
Blimey
Do we really have to put up with these Bronze Age, mad, dangerous tossers? Can't we just wipe them out and save ourselves hundreds of years of religious cluster-fucks?
They'll be saying the Earth is flat next....... ;-)
Posted in iPhone and Mac boost Apple by 94%
Jobs is an idiot
Just listen to El Reg readers comments and he could quadruple those numbers. $13 billion? What a tool. Drop the prices and add in every single function you could ever want to do to every device and he'll have all the money in the world.
How stupid is he?
Wibble
Come on guys, you are clearly missing the point here. Haven't you worked out yet that this is a "Magic Button (TM)"??
It works completely different to any plain old button-on-website you have ever come across before. Pressing it instantaneously alerts everyone who needs to know (I've seen the code behind it - it's awesome!) and less than 60 seconds later the helicopters swoop out of the sky, pick up the miscreant and before you can say "Fuck off Jim you dangerous, lunatic prick!" they are hauled off for summary stringing up from lamposts (saves a bundle on lawyers fees you see).
I for one love CEOP and would gladly sell my house and all my possessions to fund it ;-)
Here We Go....
I wonder how this thread will turn out?
Pow! It doesn't have HD resolution?!
Thwack! It doesn't have a real keyboard
Zaap! It doesn't have quad cores and quad GPUs on board. I mean come on!!
Crunch! I can't use it for running my atomic bomb simulation code!
Perhaps future iPad stories should just limit themselves to something along the lines of "it might be useful to you, it might not. Base your buying decisions on that. Tiresome bleating about why it's no use for launching the space shuttle are just getting fucking annoying now"
Incidentally, I'm thinking of starting a thread about my Ford Focus being completely useless at winning the RAC rally? Those Ford bastards! Who's with me?
Pffffttt!
@Robert Ramsay - That was the funniest thing I've read all day. Thanks for cheering me up. :-)
Wonder what these guys would have done if it was the last train home on a Friday night from Waterloo.....
We don't need no stinking title
Wow - the amount of people missing the point is staggering. He's not suggesting you actually run all this stuff on a phone. He's suggesting you would use a phone or similar portable device to connect to the cloud where all your data and applications would be running in a thin client like way.
It's debatable whether anyone would go for this kind of set up of course. Although if people are stupid enough to think he means you'll be running Final Cut Pro on your phone they might be stupid enough to sign up for such a service.
