* Posts by JimmyPage

2157 posts • joined 5 Mar 2010

Blighty's telly, radio watchdog Ofcom does a swear

JimmyPage
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Headmaster

To reference our Greatest Living Englishman (again)

Stephen Fry on offence.

“It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."

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User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

JimmyPage
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Facepalm

Remind me in 1988

I was asked by a fellow student doing "Computer Science" to show them how to use Wordstar to *create* a letter accepting the £13,000 a year job at Nat West as a programmer.

It is experiences like that which make me the cynic I am today.

Just for reference, £13,000 for a graduate in 1988 was in the top 5% of jobs.

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Oracle loses (again) in battle to get Google Java case retried (again)

JimmyPage
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Stop

Re: The UK has it better on this point

If I understand correctly (and I may not), the UK has a better way of handling suits than the US because the UK makes the loser pay the winner's legal bills

Common fallacy - but don't feel too bad. Most UK citizens haven't a clue either.

In England and Wales (there is no "UK" legal system) the awarding of costs is determined by the "court" and is discretionary. That is there is no "law" or "rule" to follow.

Generally, there is an accepted *principle* that the loser pays - which is a form of natural justice.

However, there are numerous cases (the trope being pigheaded neighbour disputes) where the court (i.e.the judge) decides each side should pay their own costs.

There was a case in the last year or so which dragged on for years with neither side even trying to negotiate. When it was (eventually) settled, the judge did not award costs and each side had to pay their own. The "winner" had to sell the property to pay his lawyers. (I think they then tried to sue their lawyers :) )

Seems to me the biggest difference in US/UK legal systems is how they view themselves. In the UK it is a given that going to court is an absolute last resort and the parties involved are saying they cannot settle between themselves. Generally, judges take a very dim view of parties that try to use courts as a private playground. As many sue-happy plaintiffs have found - literally - to their cost(s).

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Rosetta spacecraft set for smash landing

JimmyPage
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Just seen the signal die

anyone else feel rather teary-eyed ?

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Complaints against cops down 93% thanks to bodycams – study

JimmyPage
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Next step - capturing sales speil ?

I've started thinking it would be an idea to wear a bodycam when discussing mobile phone contracts, or building work.

"No, you DID say you would include rubbish disposal in your quote"

"No, you did say you would clean the gutters inclusive"

See you in court.

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Where's the "Forums" link

JimmyPage
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WTF?

Where's the "Forums" link

Missing between 16:00 and 18:00 today ?

<---- (WTF? - See what I did there ?)

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BBC to demand logins for iPlayer in early 2017

JimmyPage
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Boffin

Re: Smart TV's too?

I would have thought that to earn the title "Smart" - at a very minimum - the TV firmware is capable of being updated over the air ?

My (3 year old) LG still occasionally gets updates, and the iPlayer app recently changed to insist I press "Yes I have a TV licence" before running.

However, there is a question of how the BBC implement this - although I'd be surprised (but not shocked) if they did it in such a way that a million TVs become obsolete overnight.

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JimmyPage
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Big Brother

Presumably, logins will be address based

not personal ? Thereby following the logic of the TV licence.

Or will we have to trust the BBC with the details - and viewing habits - of every person in a household.

Even the minors ?

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Sysadmin gets 5 years for slurping contractor payments to employer

JimmyPage
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Flame

British justice

The best money can buy.

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JimmyPage
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FAIL

One again JPs axiom proves true ...

criminals start from a position of being thick as shit.

(The other axiom is that the police are only marginally less thick, which is why society is generally fairly safe. In support of my assertion, I give you yesterdays announcement from Sir B-H-H)

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Narcissist Heidi Powell wants her dot-com and she wants it now, now, NOW!

JimmyPage
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Whatever happened to Mike Rowe ?

(yes, I am *that* old !)

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Video service Binge On 'broke the internet' but 99pc of users love it

JimmyPage
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Headmaster

"toll free"

why does this grate with me? First world problem, I know.

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I want to remotely disable Londoners' cars, says Met's top cop

JimmyPage
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WTF?

There really are some moronic cretins around, aren't there ?

This is almost as good as "whacky" Jacqui Smiths "we will get all paedophiles to register their email address"

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Windows 10 backlash: Which? demands compo for forced upgrades

JimmyPage
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FAIL

It it just me

or is this 15 months too late ?

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MI6 to hire another 1,000 bods 'cos of private surveillance tech

JimmyPage
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WTF?

And - clearly demonstrating their 19th century antecedents

these jobs involve GOING to an OFFICE ?

Hi tech my arse.

I lost all interest in civil service work when I was told I would be paid £2000 a year less for being 20, not 21.

"Does ability not count ?" I asked.

"Good lord no." they replied. "That would never do.". To this day, no one believes that's what they said at the CCTA. But they did.

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Swedish appeals court upholds arrest warrant for Julian Assange

JimmyPage
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Stop

Ah, yes, the famous "afraid of the US" bogeyman.

The only thing (well, one of the only things) which has remained constant -at least as far as I can see - in this entire sorry saga, is the lack of any concrete steps by the US to show even the slightest bit or interest in Assange (c).

Yes, there has been a lot of blustering from politicians.

But is there a *US* warrant for his arrest ?

Has the US even begun extradition proceedings ?

Are people aware that in the event Assange (c) is extradited to Sweden, he could not thence be extradited to the US without explicit (and unlikely) UK permission ?

I know there's a lot of paranoia about the US, but they are not going to risk the cosy UK-US extradition agreement (which would be in tatters if they snatched Assange (c) from Sweden) for the likes of Assange (c) who - willingly if not arbitrarily - is slipping into the back pages of the 2000s, and only has himself to blame.

He's starting to remind me of those Japanese soldiers that disappeared into Pacific islands in 1945, only to emerge in the 1970s and discover the world has moved on.

It's been a while since we've had a poll for new El Reg icons. Can I suggest "Oh Do Fuck Off" for the next round ?

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Teenage noughties protocol BitTorrent reinvents itself again

JimmyPage
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Plus ca change ...

if I were an investor - or a seasoned dev - then I would have a rummage through older "failed" ideas and see *why* they failed. Because some ideas are sound, but just lack the technology grunt to get off the ground.

Psion to iPhone is a good example.

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EU ends anonymity and rules open Wi-Fi hotspots need passwords

JimmyPage
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Pirate

Re: They have made their ruling, now let them enforce it

I passed about 40 open hotspots

are you *sure* they are "open" ?

Default setup in UK is to have hotspot as open, but then to request some sort of identification before proceeding. Usually in the form of an email address (so it's pretty obvious it's not security, but user-monetisation driving the scheme).

Also, I would strongly advise people to be *very* wary of "open" hotspots. I suspect more than a few have been setup with the express intention of sniffing all traffic.

I can't prove it, but I have encountered quite a few alleged "BT Openzone" and "BT FON" hotspots which allow me to connect, but were never able to actually get to the internet.

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JimmyPage
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Mushroom

Re: Meh

Hmmmm

As I recall, the UK courts have already tried a few times to use unsecured WiFi as a "must like paedoes or be a paedo, " smear.

The EU was probably taking it's lead from the UK.

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Did you know iOS 10, macOS Sierra has a problem with crappy VPNs? You do now

JimmyPage
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FAIL

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

Microsoft gave everybody *years* of advance warning that XP was going to go end-of-life when it did.

Result ?

Loads of cheapskate big organisations just laid back thinking "we've got plenty of time" and fuck all gets done. Until they wake up and find they out of support.

Dr. Johnsons comnent about focusing the mind seems approrpiate.

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You should install smart meters even if they're dumb, says flack

JimmyPage
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Boffin

The other alternative

would be to build more power stations ?

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JimmyPage
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Mushroom

Downvoted

for even suggesting that solar power UK-style would have any effect other than siphoning money into peoples pockets.

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Sony wins case over pre-installed Windows software

JimmyPage
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Is there some point missing ?

As a few commentards have noticed, taking a machine with it's pre-installed OS actually does have 2 advantages:

1) It means you have a tool with which to test and (if necessary) demonstrate any faults on the vendors OWN TERMS.

2) You are taking the machine as intended, and so can't be accused of any warranty infringements.

As long as nothing prevents you from installing your OS of choice side-by-side, then - discretion being the better part of valour - there's some sense in accepting the Windows-loaded machine.

As I grow older, I find it's much easier to go with the flow than try and build Jerusalem.

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Ten-year-old Windows Media Player hack is the new black, again

JimmyPage
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Linux

Re: (c) they use Linux

All my downloading is done on a Linux Debian box.

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Star Trek's Enterprise turns 50 and still no sign of a warp drive. Sigh

JimmyPage
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Boffin

EM Drive is an impossible idea

The paper has met with criticism, however. The naysayers believe EM Drive is an impossible idea, as the lack of propellant violates Newton’s Third Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Is there a degree or doctorate in "naysaying" ? No. Then who gives a shiny shit what they say ?

Even in the quote above, there is no inconsistency. For a start, the EmDrive definitely uses *energy*. So a priori there is no reason why movement could not result.

What is really confusing the scientists is the non-Newtonian nature of any resultant thrust.

Now, as any fool who actually studies science beyond the Daily Mail headlines knows, there are instances where Newton falls down, and Einstein takes over. In the case of the EmDrive, this could be the place to start looking.

Now my grasp of relatively is only as far as A level, however from what I recall, the definition of gravity was "a force which distorts spacetime. Other objects move in accordance with the distortion."

Which means the hypothesis that the EmDrive is somehow causing a subtle distortion in spacetime (by the application of microwave energy) is not unreasonable. And if that distortion were to shift the centre of gravity of the containing structure ever so slightly, then the structure would be forced to move to accommodate the shift. Thrustless motion.

I have no idea if this *is* how the EmDrive works. But I also know noone has (yet) said it isn't.

All I know is I hear a lot of "that's impossible" without any depth of explanation - always a sign of prejudice and ignorance in equal measures.

Remember 20, 30 years ago. It was impossible that stomach ulcers in humans were caused by a virus ? Hello Heliobactor pylorii !

Knowing there are a lot of top boffins in El Regs readership, what's the thoughts about the above ? I am quite happy to be shown what a bunch of crap it is ...

Let's do science !

Incidentally, if you can put up with the lets-make-a-30-minute-programme-fit-into-60-minutes approach of BBC documentaries since the 1990s, there was a fascinating look at the EmDrive as an antigravity drive in a Horizon about Project Greenglow

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0752f85

(p.s. many years ago, Omni magazine devoted an entire issue to antigravity. One of the more intriguing suggestions was that in the same way electricity and magnetism were linked, gravity and mass were, if you could pump a *really* dense substance around a circuit fast enough, you could "generate" gravity. The problem was because gravity is so weak, the density of the substance was effectively a neutron star. So even if the theory is sound, the practical applications are somewhat restricted.)

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HSBC: How will we verify business banking customers? Selfies!

JimmyPage
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Headmaster

re: clueless bellend

is far too kind.

"Fucking moron" fits better.

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JimmyPage
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Stop

Is there a liveness check ?

Just a note that Androids "unlock with fizzog" feature had a "require live" check (which needed the eyes to blink) to avoid being fooled with a photo.

So if HSBC don't offer it (which wouldn't surprise me), it's a fair question what the fuck they have been paying themselves for over the years.

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Nul points: PM May's post-Brexit EU immigration options

JimmyPage
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Re:So poor people have less of a say in economic decisions?

Whilst that sounds iniquitous, it's worth bearing in mind this germ of wisdom, as it explains exactly the problem we are in ...

"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent system of government, but only until such time as the majority of the population realised they can vote themselves the largesse of the public purse".

Go figure.

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JimmyPage
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FAIL

I still have my great grandfathers axe

My grandfather changed the head, and my Dad changed the handle ...

seems an appropriate saying

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These are not just job cuts, these are M&S job cuts

JimmyPage
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Re:You should have asked for that in writing.

Why ?

Once I had decided I had no more use for M&S, why waste another second of my precious time ?

This is the problem a lot of soon-to-be-out-of-business retailers have completely missed or forgotten. Which is that when an alternative is available, pissed off customers will just go there, rather than engage with you. It's one reason why any customer services department worth its salt will be concerned if complaints drop below a certain level, as it would suggest customers are walking, rather than complaining.

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JimmyPage
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FAIL

Suggest the next in sequence ...

Woolies, Comet, BHS, M&S ?

it's only investor inertia which has kept a lot of old-school retailers alive when faced with the competition of the internet.

My wife and |I gave up years ago with "shopping". Even if we did find something we liked (which is more and more unlikely when ever store is selling the same tat as every other store) there's the added challenge of finding it in the right size, only to be told to "look on our website" ...

Last thing we bought from M&S was a lightweight coat. After 3 weeks a button cracked. I went to return it, and to my amazement the assistant made a big show of digging out the spare buttons, and wafting them under my nose. They then made a big point that buttons were not covered by the warranty, and that they would only replace the item because it was "less than a month".

Unusually for me, the sharp tongue stayed silent, but only because I knew I would never buy anything from M&S again. Which is a shame, as they were one of the few shops my Mum (who could sew and make clothes) trusted.

We are entering an age where you can *only* buy the same shit, no matter which retailer you choose. Unless you use the internet.

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Childcare app bods wipe users' data – then discover backups had been borked for a year

JimmyPage
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Facepalm

Sueballs at dawn ?

Given it's axiomatic the service was sold to "protect your precious data", how are Orbit going to manage to now claim it had "no value" when the courts get involved ?

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Got to dash out for some rubber johnnies? Amazon has a button for that

JimmyPage
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Boffin

Pizeo ?

The IoT light switches I have seen demoed by IBM were pizeo driven - no need for batteries.

Now *that* is a stonkingly good use of IoT. Imagine being able to fit a light switch irrespective of where the wires run.

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JimmyPage
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Stop

This isn't for our generation

it's for the next.

And for all the scoffing here, people will probably be grateful for innovations like this in 10, 20 years time.

It seems (some) tech firms have finally realised the truth about the army being perfectly equipped to fight the last war, and are looking to prepare themselves for the next one ....

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Height of stupidity: Heathrow airliner buzzed by drone at 7,000ft

JimmyPage
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Re: Cue loads of people saying...

I certainly wouldn't say that.

Having seen what happens to a Rolls Royce Trent when a goose is fed into the intake, I cannot begin to imagine what something as unsquidgy as a drone would do.

And as suggested previously, the worst case would be a fully laden 747/Airbus crashing into a densely populated suburb - even if it is just Hounslow.

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JimmyPage
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Stop

Easily solved ...

pass a law (aren't we lucky we live in a country where we are constantly (and lately) told how parliament is supreme) which makes the manufacturers and sales agents responsible for any loss of life thanks to their drones.

Not fair, nor proportionate, but you can bet your life all of a sudden these won't be available to Barry from accounts anymore.

I'm not a big fan of the hysterical "something must be done" school of action. But in this case, the idea of a "Lockerbie plus" incident fills me with dread. Especially as the incident is most likely going to happen on ascent/descent - in other words over a heavily populated area.

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JimmyPage
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Am I wrong in thinking that if ..

one of these bastards gets sucked into the engine then we are looking at a catastrophe ?

I despair of UK law sometimes - AFAIAC we start with 20 years in jail - I don't care if nobody was hurt, because the full phrase ends with "this time".

Perhaps, instead of spunking millions on police action to catch name calling on Twitter, we could have some real protection from the police.

Oh, and I will make a separate suggestion in another post which would instantly solve the issue.

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Stop lights, sunsets, junctions are tough work for Google's robo-cars

JimmyPage
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And now streetview makes more sense

I am sure that Google will use streetview to help automated navigation easier .... compare what you are seeing with what Google has previously analysed to be the edges and features to fix on, and the differences are where you need to apply processing power.

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JimmyPage
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Boffin

Re:how well they cope with cyclists

The easiest - and cheapest - solution to that is to not allow the two to mix in the first place.

In the same way any sane person would never mix bikes and cars in the same space.

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JimmyPage
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Re: Under streets ?

Have you not seen the Chinese bus/tram which runs *over* streets

http://www.citylab.com/tech/2016/05/can-chinas-futuristic-straddling-bus-finally-become-a-reality/483953/

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JimmyPage
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Stop

So ? Humans can mis-see things too.

Even delivering a system which drives a car with the same performance as a regular human would result in some subpar decisions.

What %age are we going to accept. Clearly not 100. 110% ? 120% ?

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Top facial recognition algo joins the dots and sees pretend people

JimmyPage
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Stop

Like the self driving cars story yesterday - we need to be BETTER than humans

Humans also make mistakes in recognition - we are pre-programmed to seek out familiar shapes in randomness which is why people have car accidents when they "think" they saw a person, or animal where there was a shadow on the road.

Seems people are finally realising that it's not good enough to *replicate* human abilities.

We need to *exceed* them.

By quite a margin it would seem.

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Vidahost hikes domain name fees by a third, blames Brexit

JimmyPage
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Unhappy

Brexit, VAT, decimalisation, removal of pound note,

reasons to charge more ... 1,2,3

exchange rate too high,

exchange rate too low,

interest rates not changing,

interest rates changing,

barbecue summer,

wash out summer,

mild winter,

snowpocalypse,

terror attacks,

no terror attacks

is a pattern emerging ?

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Honor 8: Huawei targets millennials with high-spec cheapie. 3 words – Food pic mode

JimmyPage
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Flame

Re: Network SIM lock and EE/Orange

The crowning turd was trying to get a £5 Alcatel from "Orange" to work with an EE SIM. Even though they are the SAME NETWORK the twunts at EE wanted £35 to unlock the thing.

THAT is why it's never again for me. And if I ever have to recommend a corporate deal, EE are not getting a seat at the table. However, corporate deals are starting to look old hat as BYOD spreads. Over the past 3 years we have seen our corporate deal halve making it a vicious circle ... less usage means less attractive deal means less corporate deals.

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JimmyPage
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already 2 checks ahead of the competition ...

after a situation last year where despite having 12 phones which powered up, not one could be used because of network locks) I vowed to never have a network sold phone again.

Quite aside from the network locking is the SHITE they bundle with the phone you can't dump (I *still* don't want a Facebook app).

Hence I am happily rocking a Wileyfox Swift - brilliant device. Not locked. No shit.

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DVLA misses out on £400m in tax after scrapping paper discs

JimmyPage
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FAIL

Could never move the tax to fuel ...

If you remove the requirement for a car to be taxed, then the roads will fill up overnight with old bangers being kept for "spares". It's bad enough as it is now.

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JimmyPage
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Pokemon go..

true .... if the Great British public put 1/100th the effort they put into Pokemon Go ....

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JimmyPage
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Flame

This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

Untaxed vehicle drives past ANPR camera. Local enforcement wardens are notified. Car located. Towed and impounded. Only returned after tax and fine are paid (no cheques).

Car is sold at auction after 4 weeks otherwise.

Simples.

So *why* in the name of all that is holy is there so much hand-wringing.

In other news, police to "patrol" Facebook and Twitter with jail sentences for people who say nasty things.

(p.s. if you are caught using a smartphone driving ... see the first paragraph of this post).

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iPhone: Apple's Mac battle with Windows rebooted

JimmyPage
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Mushroom

Mac bollocks

Mac lost the war because IBM deliberately made the PC specs open, so other manufacturers could deliver cheaper versions. For those of us who lived through it, we went from the first true IBM PC in late '82 to a world awash with clones in 1986 - four years being lightning speed for the 80s.

IBM then realised they had lost lots of money, so the PS/2 (micro-channel architecture) was licensed. Mysteriously very few manufacturers paid for the privilege, and PS/2 (and OS/2, which was a shame) slowly died.

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Adblock Plus chalk talk takes stock: Facebook's gonna block our block of their block of our block? Let's rock

JimmyPage
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Stop

Facebook may stop being a site ...

And only be available via their app. Their app. Their rules ...

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