* Posts by BorkedAgain

686 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Mar 2010

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LibreOffice plans ports to iOS, Android, cloud

BorkedAgain
Thumb Up

Excellent.

This story seems to be all positive. Isn't that nice?

Where are the patent lawyers? Shouldn't they be involved somewhere?

iPad baby baffled by paper magazine

BorkedAgain

Please tell me you're joking.

Belkin Conserve

BorkedAgain
Thumb Up

Yup.

And, to make things even easier, get one of those switched adapters for the switching-off-at-night stuff, so you don't have to fumble around behind the telly to do it.

I know this goes against the gadget grain, but some solutions really do have to work hard to find their problems...

Which actor should play Steve in upcoming biopic?

BorkedAgain
Meh

Pixar.

Animate the thing. In 3D. Tom Hanks to do the voice.

BorkedAgain
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...use his poloneck as a weapon...

There, fixed that for you.

Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

BorkedAgain
Coffee/keyboard

Toilet paper?

I really, really hope you were reading the article on your iPhone when you decided to put it to that use...

Is that coffee on your keyboard?

Gay-bashing cult plans picket of Steve Jobs funeral

BorkedAgain
Pint

"Gay-bashing cult..."

I'm pretty sure there's a typo in there, but I just can't quite see it...

The $35 android tablet, a snip at $50

BorkedAgain
Joke

@HMB

Watch yourself there, matey. With analogies like that you'll find yourself in trouble.

Will nobody think of the metaphorical children?

Ten... Androids to outshine the iPhone 4S

BorkedAgain
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One difference being:

I still have my Joshua Tree LP, and it's as good as it ever was.

Thanks, by the way; you inspired me to put it on again... ;)

Innovatio targets Wi-Fi users with patent suits

BorkedAgain
Happy

@Robert C

That's as maybe, but it's a jolly good line anyway.

(Context indeed. Pah.)

BorkedAgain
WTF?

Dear Patent Troll,

Our WIFI equipment is manufactured by XCorp. Their headquarters are at {XCorp Address}. If their equipment violates any of your intellectual property, might I respectfully recommend that you take it up with them?

Cheerio,

{Me}

'Boss from hell' knuckle-rapped for 'firing contests'

BorkedAgain
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What Charles said.

Been there, done that, considered throttling the CEO with the corporate t-shirt.

You're not unusual; it can take years to realise just how toxic a situation has become. Having realised it, you did exactly the right thing. Nice thing about our industry: there's always another (better) option...

Life-size Lego assault rifle really works

BorkedAgain

Does anyone remember...

...Fischer Technik?

Now that was proper stuff...

Best skiing in space is on Saturnian ice moon Enceladus

BorkedAgain
Facepalm

I'm pretty sure...

...the low gravity would make it a bit rubbish for skiing as well. Like trying to ski in Holland; not enough downhillishness.

'Scuse technical terms; you know what I'm saying.

(Surprised nobody's mentioned the lack of atmosphere at the après-ski, come to that...)

Boffins prove Queen ballad 'world's most catchy song'

BorkedAgain
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Wow.

I thought the Badger song could never be topped. I've never felt quite so ambivalent about being wrong...

Carphone Warehouse whipped for cheap Jesus mobe ads

BorkedAgain

Lowest Price

Well, I slightly disagree; if an ad claimed "lowest price" I'd assume it was lower *or* the same as other tariffs, because if it's the same as others then they're all offering the same, lowest price. But then, I'm not a member of the general public, I guess.

On the other hand, when I read any advert from any mobile phone supplier, ISP, politician etc I do always have a little voice at the back of my head endlessly repeating the phrase "You're being lied to; they're trying to mislead you in some way..."

Sad, but true. For a given value of true.

Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu-ray disc set

BorkedAgain
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+1

That is all.

BorkedAgain
Coffee/keyboard

@Studley

You ver' funny man... :)

Google+ chases MySpace for second place

BorkedAgain
Meh

I've seen your works...

...meh.

Display defect may crimp iPhone 5 shipments

BorkedAgain
Gimp

Hoo boy.

By-the-numbers Apple launch marketing process is *go*.

Press release about cancelled staff holidays - Check.

Press release about supply shortages - Check.

What's next; twitter trends showing correlation of iFan enthusiasm and searches for sleeping bags and thermos flasks for the queueing experience?

Such fun. I half-expect to see the staff tinkling a little bell every time another phone is sold; Pavlov and Skinner would be so proud...

Apple staff in UK told to cancel holiday in early October

BorkedAgain
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Nice idea, Hardcastle...

Patented it yet? ;)

BorkedAgain
Coat

Hear hear.

Quite so, fuzzy. An odd bunch, but not the oddest by far. They could be doing worse things with their money, and at least this keeps them out of trouble, bless them.

It is rather exciting, though. It'll be good to see what all the other phones in the world are going to look like in six months' time. Eh? Geddit?

Ah, I'm pulling yer leg.

Microsoft cloud evaporated by one busted file

BorkedAgain
Facepalm

D'oh.

Logic 101.

I meant contradiction, not tautology. I feel such a fool...

BorkedAgain
Windows

Most cloud professionals* would add the proviso: "...but probably best not *that* cloud..."

There are a few companies out there that seem to know their stuff; enviable uptime and reliability. That's never really been Microsoft's strong point, has it?

*Cue luddite hordes with their "cloud professional? Tautology, that!" cleverness...

Google now a serious rival to Microsoft in cloud email

BorkedAgain

Hah! Ridiculous!

Next you'll be saying you'd rather keep your money in a bank instead of in a sock under your mattress...

How gizmo maker's hack outflanked copyright trolls

BorkedAgain
Thumb Up

If the developer's smart...

...and I think it's fairly clear that he is, then he'll have the unit set up with a simple API allowing any old feed to be processed by the device. That would cover the supermarket use case, the home monitoring use case and any number of others...

LOHAN to suck mighty thruster as it goes off, in a shed

BorkedAgain
Coffee/keyboard

C'mon, man.

Making me guffaw at work is uncool...

TouchPad sales doubled after it was discontinued

BorkedAgain
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Spooky...

I've been doing that a lot since my fondleslab took up residence on the coffee table...

Fujitsu Stylistic Q550 Windows 7 tablet

BorkedAgain
Meh

I think...

...it's probably possible to sell pretty much anything with a screen on eBay for about $115-155. Not sure what that says about selling a fatter, heavier, uglier iPad which doesn't run Angry Birds and has no fart apps or GarageBand or any of the other must-have doodads for $800, though...

BorkedAgain
Meh

Thanks...

...but no thanks.

Apollo 17 Moon landing: Shock revelations

BorkedAgain

Uh, Bill?

You forgot Verity. How could you?

9/11: The day we lost our privacy and power

BorkedAgain

Excellent point.

I look forward to reading about your candidacy at the next election. If you're in my constituency, I may even vote for you (assuming you make sense)

That said, I think it's generally unlikely that independent candidates will ever be elected in sufficient quantities to make any kind of difference. It's career politicians all the way, and part of being a career politician is learning early on how to be utterly conformist and only controversial within certain very narrow parameters. And the latest techniques for fiddling shitloads of cash out of the system without a word to the tax people, natch.

The bland leading the blind, in other words. I do like that phrase...

BorkedAgain

Ah yes, the good old days...

...when terrorists would phone in a coded warning, and there were collection boxes "for the boys" on New York bars. A packet of polos cost 7p, you could call home for 2p and this was all fields...

In all seriousness, Northern Ireland during the troubles wasn't much fun and, while I agree that the general attitude of not letting the terrorists win was far better than watching your infant son struggling out of his shoes to get through airport security (Seriously!) even the most liberal and broad-minded of us caught ourselves thinking unworthy thoughts from time to time. Like not picking up hitch-hikers in certain areas, for example... ;)

Google brings out new programming language

BorkedAgain

If they already have "Go" for server-side...

...wouldn't a better name have been "Ogle"?

Sweden rolls out invisible infrared tank

BorkedAgain
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That's a nasty cough you have there, Mr Inmate...

You taking anything for it?

BorkedAgain

April already?

Where'd the rest of the year go?

Judge may order Page and Ellison into mediation

BorkedAgain
Thumb Up

Cage fight?

Just saying.

Galaxy Tab 7.7 pulled from IFA after new Apple moves

BorkedAgain
Meh

@AC 11:39: And how would you feel...

...if Ronald McDonald stopped Beanfeast and Quorn from selling products that were a little bit like meat, despite being totally different?

Outbound space probe looks back at tiny Earth and Moon

BorkedAgain
Thumb Down

Yeah, but...

...whatever evolves to take our place will never have a chance to progress to the point of having their own industrial revolution, because we squandered all the fossil resources on Top Gear and eating strawberries in winter.

Still, happy days, right?

Samsung outs MacBook Pro lookalike laptop

BorkedAgain
Trollface

Let's you and him fight!

You're trying to pick a fight on Samsung's behalf, aint'cha? Naughty Reg...

Tablet wars set for Apple vs Amazon head-to-head

BorkedAgain
Thumb Up

Wow.

Thanks for the perspective check, Mikel. Sincerely.

(There doesn't seem to be a way of saying that without sounding sarcastic. What is the world coming to?)

BorkedAgain
Pint

Well quite.

As the good Knight says, that was rather my point.

Cheers! ;)

BorkedAgain

Well...

The Barnes & Noble Nook Colour looks pretty decent, for under $250. Its counterpart, suitably updated and equivalently priced on this side of the Atlantic, would probably sell pretty well.

I'd buy one, for a start.

All it'd take is another 2,999,999 likeminded sorts to prove Epps right. Wouldn't that be nice?

Sony e-book reader line to get multi-touch screen

BorkedAgain
Joke

'Scuse me while I kiss this guy...

"It works with fingers and with a stylus, but it's not clear whether the latter will come bundled with the reader...."

I misread that as "...whether the former..." and was going to say that I come bundled with eight fingers, as it happens...

Glad I spotted my mistake before I made a fool of myself. ;)

Seven lessons from the HP Touchpad fire sale

BorkedAgain
Gimp

Unlikely any time soon.

Let's face it, at the moment the most painful part of upgrading your iGadget is the cashectomy performed on your wallet / credit card / bank account. When the process involves someone opening up your head and fooling around in there, then even a 24-month upgrade cycle will seem awfully fast.

Would you allow those... uh... "geniuses" in the Apple shop the necessary access to perform the upgrade, let alone maintenance? It isn't rocket science, you know...

Steve Jobs resigns as Apple CEO

BorkedAgain

Good luck...

Like many others here, I'm not impressed with Apple's latest forays into the realm of the I.P. Troll, but you do have to respect what Jobs has achieved, and I do wish him luck.

Apple will be fine; the global supply of brushed aluminium and smoked glass hasn't dried up yet...

Ten... outdoor gadgets

BorkedAgain

geek kudos...

... for starting your list with number zero.

Also for the survival cleverness...

New Apple move against Galaxy Tab on Euro front

BorkedAgain

That's an interesting story...

...but other than mentioning Apple I'm afraid I'm at a loss to see where it's relevant to the article. You didn't like a Windows 7 phone and bought an iPhone 4 instead, which you like. That's great! I'm delighted for you.

What has it to do with Apple borging all rounded-cornered rectangles, though?

BorkedAgain
Big Brother

Well quite.

I'm delighted with my hacked Vega, but I'm extremely tempted by a fondleslab that's good enough to scare Mr Jobbie to this extent...

(Big brother for the irony.)

LOHAN team buried under ballockets

BorkedAgain

Tim Harris FTW

Yup. IANARS, but his design was the closest to what I had in mind; if anything his is better (that asymmetry is rather nifty...)

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