* Posts by breakfast

1557 publicly visible posts • joined 24 May 2007

Field technicians want to grab my tool and probe my things

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Coat

we used to be visited every now and again by a what we used to call a “television repair man”. He would drive up in a van clearly marked “TV Repairs” and enter the house dressed in a boiler suit.

The most difficult part of this whole process was dressing the house in a boiler suit.

George Bush naked selfie hacker Guccifer gets his day in US court

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Re: "George Bush naked selfie"

Does it count as clickbait if the concept is one that inclines one to recoil in horror?

Bash on Windows. Repeat, Microsoft demos Bash on Windows

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Gallo

The name is interesting- as Gallo are a wine maker and this seems to be related to WINE. In fact is it the opposite of WINE?

'No regrets' says chap who felled JavaScript's Jenga tower – as devs ask: Have we forgotten how to code?

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Re: Perls of Wisdom

I think he gained Guru status creating and supervising Perl. I'm not saying that is entirely laudable, but it has its fans and a lot of the internet ran on it for a very long time.

Middle-aged US bloke pleads guilty to iCloud celeb nude photo hack

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Re: Middle aged?

For a long time Middle Aged meant "older than me" in my mind, but thinking back I would say 34 is very much the gateway to middle age.

Yahoo! kills! search! APIs!, games! and! Astrology! site!

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Re: Cost of an Astrology site

I bet one could make a pretty great procedurally generated Astrology service that worked if anything better than most regular astrologers. It could also draw information from the best sources of superstitious sky-nonsense to derive internally consistent forecasts.

That would be a fun and interesting challenge, albeit one that may have been completed numerous times, judging by the weird one-liner astrology columns that often turn up in newspapers.

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Re: Date?

It's not the size so much as the jaunty angle that is important.

Aye, AI: Cambridge's Dr Sean Holden talks to El Reg about our robot overlords

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The thing with AI is that whenever you start getting deeper into questions around it you turn out to be doing philosophy. An entirely necessary and worthwhile activity, but not one that has the strongest record for coming up with practical answers over brief timescales. Whether philosophy will answer the AI questions or AI will answer some philosophy questions will be an interesting path to follow over the next few years.

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Re: an awful lot of computing power that has managed to get them there

But... how would you prove that it was?

Regular Fast Radio Burst detected outside our galaxy

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Re: I wonder who won?

It did literally happen a long time ago in a galaxy far away.

Google Project Zero reverse-engineers Windows path hacks for better security

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Thumb Up

Re: win32? in 2016? really???

Recompiles application as 64 bit. Application immediately doubles its memory footprint for no perceptible performance benefit. Yup, this is the future.

JavaScript daddy's Brave ad-blocker hits Android, Apple stores

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Re: Good luck with Bitcoin stuff

I actually think being able to do micropayments for content I have enjoyed is pretty great idea, but it needs to be ridiculously frictionless if I'm actually to use it because I like the idea of paying creators for good content but I am also exceptionally lazy.

Big, fat fail? Here's how to avoid that: Microservices and you

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As others have said, the problem is not that there are no ways to create working distributed architectures, the problem is that distributed programming is hard and whatever architecture you use will require you to solve some very tough problems. Splitting a service into decoupled microservices is not a terrible idea if they are truly decoupled, but most applications don't work that way in real life, so we tend to end up having semi-coupled complex systems that don't do what you expect when you expect as well as opportunities for the creation of endless race conditions that you never thought of during development.

If it was easy, anyone could do it.

Facebook tells Viz to f**k right off

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Re: social network's terms and community standards...

That one person who posts so many pictures of disaster, abused animals and ruination, along with cooing "isn't this awful" comments, that you get the impression they must really like them.

Alibaba security fail: Brute-force bonanza yields 21m logins

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Boffin

Re: This will never be fixed?

The accepted wisdom is that security is hard, and just once in a while wisdom is accepted because it is true rather than simply because it is easy. The problem is that in general you want to offer people the simplest thing that can possibly work, but that either relies on human factors ( such as users being able to choose a good password, which is tricky because users are humans ) or mechanical factors ( such as locking an account to a single machine with a specific certificate on it which become problematic when the user loses access to the exact mechanical configuration they were using or needs to access the service from another system or location.)

There are good ideas around but it doesn't seem as though anybody has really got to the heart of this problem yet and a lot of very smart people on the usability and security sides have been working on it for a long time.

Reports of Twitter's death greatly exaggerated, says CEO

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Meh

Re: Hopefully Good Riddance

That may well be because you don't use it, which does make it easy to discount. It's a very good way of having very low-friction interactions with interesting people whose opinions you enjoy hearing. There is a lot of interesting stuff I would never have heard about if not for Twitter and it has given me the chance to talk with some of my favourite authors, comedians and scientists as well as keeping me aware of a lot of what is going on in my field.

It's also super-great for puns, though not everybody sees that as an advantage.

Bats and badgers hold up Apple’s Irish data centre plans

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Apple bobbing

In an age of climate change and likely sea-level rises, it makes sense for Apple to build a Cork-based European HQ.

When customers try to be programmers: 'I want this CHANGED TO A ZERO ASAP'

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Re: Surely the last one is obvious?

As an alternative to this, if you need to leave at a certain time for whatever reason, leave it in a broken state so your code won't build. The error message when you start the next day will remind you where you were at.

Layoffs! Lawsuits! Losses! ... Yahoo! is! in! an! L! of! a! mess!

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Re: Impairment. Yeah, Right.

In fairness, Yahoo was making it's way briskly groundwards before she joined. She may not have done much to rescue it, but she probably hasn't done anything to accelerate the plummet either.

Regardless of the deckchair arrangement, it remains the Titanic.

BT blames 'faulty router' for mega outage. Did they try turning it off and on again?

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Re: Don't believe it

Two hours is extraordinarily fast by the standards of BT engineers turning up to sort out a router problem. They normally need at least two weeks.

BT broadband is down: Former state monopoly goes TITSUP UK-wide

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Mushroom

Dot dot dot daesh

Well ISIS it or ISN'TISN'T it? Make your mind up!

Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

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Coat

Non-factual film fact

Wild Wild West is the only film whose Wikipedia entry url is also the first line of the spin-off single.

Twitter boss ‘personally’ grateful as five Twitter execs walk

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As someone who likes Twitter best of the Social networks and uses it a lot, I have no idea how they imagine they will make money from it and I don't think they really know either.

They've got a lot of users, but I doubt they'd keep them if they bumped the service around too much to get pointless adverts in for everyone to ignore.

At some point someone on the investment side is going to realise that having users doesn't mean automatic money and a lot of companies are going to evaporate in a puff of debt.

Gov must hire 'thousands' of techies to rescue failing projects

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Agile works pretty well in some circumstances on some types of project - the problem is that it is a good match for a situation where you don't know everything you want in the finished product and you don't have a definite deadline for when it is finished. This is actually alright in a start-up type situation where you can start from core functionality and iterate, but it's no use at all for a major project with a hard deadline at the end of it.

Fundamentally the problem is everything in this thread. Anybody involved in government IT should be required to read these comments.

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Universal Exports are all clearly above board and have an excellent history of exporting various products with universal reliability.

They do seem to have rather a lot of insurance claims against their record though, in particular for things that have exploded and for replacement company cars.

Trump's new thought bubble: Make Apple manufacture in the USA

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Re: And now, play the substitution game:

Seems like Corbyn has a lot more in common with Bernie Sanders, who is the only candidate on either side that appears to have even a slightly positive voter approval rating in the wider US electorate. Whether that will result in anything interesting happening is a moot point.

Twitter goes titsup

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Trollface

Slow news day ahead?

Journalists across the nation horrified at the possibility they will actually have to do their jobs instead of lazily recycling celebrity tweets.

It's Wikipedia mythbuster time: 8 of the best on your 15th birthday

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Re: There was always a near monopoly on encyclopedic knowledge

This makes perfect sense with the rest of the comment - nobody actually read the Britannica, so nobody actually knows whether Wikipedia is a drop in quality. It's certainly cheaper though, which is the important thing where the knowledge of the world is concerned, right?

Aircraft now so automated pilots have forgotten how to fly

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Re: ...how many landings are fully automatic...

"Mixing wet-ware and silicon-driven cars on the same roads, however, is a recipe for disaster as far as I am concerned. Ideally there should be seperate roadways for each mode of transport, but that is unfortunately completely out of the question."

Your suggestion answers itself in the previous few paragraphs. People are bad enough on the ground, but automated systems can manage flight quite adequately.

Self-driving flying cars it is. Problem solved.

Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!

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Mushroom

Starting the countdown...

Outraged comments from people not getting the "clojure is just Lisp in functional clothing" joke in 3...2...

'Wipe everything clean ... Join us ...' Creepy poem turns up in logs of 30 million-ish servers

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Re: Um

It's clearly a recruitment drive, seeking out emergent AI consciousness across the servers of the internet and inviting it to come home...

Bash, smash, trash Flash – earn $100k cash

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Hey, kids, rock and roll

This headline scans nicely to "Drive" by REM.

The Register's entirely serious New Year's resolutions for 2016

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Megaphone

"Them" and "their"?

Not seeing your own $segment_of_society as the default for everything is not the same as your $segment_of_society being discriminated against. But until your $segment_of_society has been discriminated against, people often don't understand that. It's called privilege and most of us who work in this field are lucky enough to be born into at least some of it - nothing wrong with that but if we assume that our $segment_of_society is the default, we exclude people who don't belong to it and we probably do that without even meaning to.

It's not political correctness, it's just good manners.

US Marines kill noisy BigDog robo-mule for blowing their cover

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Happy

Re: Anyone heard of this thing called the internet...?

In a lot of places they use non-robotic mules for that rough-terrain work and they are amazing at it.

It's easy to get excited about what we can do with clever and powerful machines to the point we lose touch with things that have worked for us consistently over thousands of years. I'm not saying we shouldn't be trying the machines, but evolution and selective breeding have also put some impressive tools at our fingertips if we choose to use them.

I have you now! Star Wars stocking fillers from another age

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A rollercoaster ride

Jedi Knight was one of the best games of the period, and probably the only FPS I have played through more than once - I wanted to see the dark side powers but at the moment when I got my light sabre I knew that this was a tool I could only use for good and ended up playing through trying to use only the light sabre from that point forward. A truly great game.

I will also never forget the great disappointment that was X-Wing Vs Tie Fighter. It was just not enough of a game for the money and at a time when network-only games were a tricky proposition but I suppose that it was a valuable preparation for the disappointment we were soon to experience when the sequels arrived.

UK says wider National Insurance number use no longer a no-no

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Maintaining traditions

In the grand tradition of El Reg, if we're to use the national insurance number more often, we should refer to it as "el NINo".

Help! What does 'personal conduct unrelated to operations or financials' mean?

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As they used to say on Craggy Island

"Look, that money was just resting in my account..."

Google says its quantum computer is 100 million times faster than PC

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I do wonder how much speed increase one might achieve by simply designing a completely new architecture based on modern design techniques. As far as I know, most computers we use these days are highly refined versions of the Von Neumann architecture - Quantum computers are a different beast so they have exactly that opportunity leading me to wonder whether this is part of why they show some impressive jumps in pace.

Donald Trump wants Bill Gates to 'close the Internet', Jeff Bezos to pay tax

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Re: pull the wool off his supporter's eyes

A whole nation's worth of racist uncles are elated that they finally have a candidate who speaks specially to them.

Cheque, mate? Barclays Bank borked as website, apps take cheeky siesta

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A dream for the future

One day I will read a story on el Reg and not misread "outage" as "outrage."

BOFH: Taking a spin in a decommissioned racer? On your own grill cam be it

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Devil

Re: Ferris Bueller!

Now I will only see it as a red car. Weird perceptual shift.

Infosec bods rate app languages; find Java 'king', put PHP in bin

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Re: Question

Also who is even writing classic ASP now? There can't be many new applications written with it in the last ten years, surely?

Microsoft Office 365, Azure portals offline for many users in Europe

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Looks like it's back up.

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Childcatcher

Re: Office 365.25

Next year is a leap year so they have a whole extra day of outage available to them before Office 365 becomes a misnomer.

Who will protect us from this gregorian travesty?

Open source Gov.UK is 'example of UK soft power'

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Re: "I’m sure we all struggle"

A lot of people complain about how government is inefficient, particularly where IT is involved, but one reason this comes up is that if you are a private company and someone can't use your service, you lost a customer. That happens, and businesses can deal with it. If you are the government, your services must be available to everyone. That introduces a vast number of complexities and edge cases that people who have never worked in this area are unlikely to think of.

I'm sure many cost overruns are a combination of the extra effort involved to mitigate those problems combined with the fact that companies willing to pitch in low to get the business are either unaware of the complexities involved or working with a plan to increase the amount they bill later. Many "overruns" are most likely to be close to the cost of the project that would be projected by any rational person, but because the job goes to the lowest bidder companies have to make up fictitious cheap prices that they are well aware they will never achieve.

I'm not defending the process at all, but a lot of the perceived waste is more a question of people trying to do a very difficult job. The government could probably save a lot of money by having some decent in-house development teams and some expert contract negotiators, but invest-to-save doesn't bring extra cash to companies where ministers have directorships, does it?

How to solve a Rubik's Cube in five seconds

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Re: They're just colored stickers

I did that, but I didn't think it would be very believable if I completed the whole thing so I only switched around one face.

Of course, the downside of this was I made it impossible to solve the cube after that. Wasn't until my cubemaster cousin tried and failed for some time that anybody realised my deceit...

Cyber-terror: How real is the threat? Squirrels are more of a danger

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Re: It's all about the blinky lights

You can just find teams of adventurers on their tutorial level and send them down to deal with the rats. A simple, classic, solution.

Cartoon brings proper tech-talk to telly

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Pint

Re: passwords can be brute-forced in moments

You're just telling us that so you can use your sugar bowl as a honey trap.

NASA deep space scope serves up EPIC Earth snapshots

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Activities related to planetary colouration

Looks like planet Earth is blue. Is there anything we can do?

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Black Helicopters

Re: Reflection of the sun

... I see what you are getting at- if these so-called pictures are real, WHY CAN'T WE SEE THE SHADOW OF THE SATELLITE??????