* Posts by breakfast

919 posts • joined 24 May 2007

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Blokes disguised as women storm NSA HQ: One shot dead, one hurt

breakfast
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Black Helicopters

Re: _THAT_ was the plan?

The NSA's experimental crazy-beacon is showing itself to be quite effective in early tests.

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Hey, Microsoft, we can call Windows 10 apps anything we like – you're NOT OUR REAL MOM

breakfast
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Terminator

0101011101101000011000010111010000?

@various

0100000101110010011001010010000001010010011001010

1100111001000000110001101101111011011010110110101

1001010110111001110100011100110010000001101001011

0111000100000011000100110100101101110011000010111

0010011110010010000001101110011011110111011100111111

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'Why don't you buy from foreign sites?' asks Commish, snapping on the gloves

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Holmes

I recently bought a beard from Germany and it was fine, but I only really needed to because I couldn't find the kind of beard I wanted from anywhere in the UK, normally I think most people would favour local suppliers.

What? Why are you all looking at me like that?

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Microsoft's three-way only goes one way: Backends merge into Azure App Service

breakfast
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Re: This is a great innovation

At least in north Wales you don't have to pay more when it rains harder. Also when the clouds break apart there it reveals some pretty great scenery, though my experience of living in Wales is that most of the year the cloud is far more reliable than any web services.

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HUGE Aussie asteroid impact sent TREMORS towards the EARTH'S CORE

breakfast
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Re: Devonian?

From what I can tell it is not impossible that the Deccan Traps were antipodal to Chicxulub- the asteroid hits and pushes such a forceful wave through the planet's core that it bursts out at the nearest available point on the other side. If this was to be correct then the Siberian Traps may be antipodal to another impact somewhere in the southern hemisphere. I don't know how Siberia and Australia were positioned relative to one another at that time, though.

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Web geeks grant immortality to Sir Terry Pratchett – using smuggled web code

breakfast
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Linux

Re: This makes me so happy

As the line you appositely quote states: It's how you take the original, and extend and transform it, that counts.

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'What don't we want? Robots. When don't we want them? Ever.' Anti-droid hipsters hit SXSW

breakfast
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Happy

Ask Roko about that one

If the basilisk arises they will be proved entirely right and it will also really suck to be them.

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Dread Pirate Roberts' first mate Peter Nash faces life behind bars

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Coat

Re: ".. faces life behind bars.. "

Most Aussies planning to spend time behind bars come to London.

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Devs don't care about cloud-specific coding, right? Er, not so

breakfast
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Meh

Who is it for?

I've been working on some cloud stuff recently and been around a lot of other people working in various associated areas and the point that I have reached is that I just don't know who it is better for.

It is hard to develop for the cloud- way harder than regular client-server or application development - and debugging any code running in the cloud is a massive pain in the ass. You have so little control on your application's environment that you need constant fault-tolerance.

It is hard to maintain applications in the cloud- most of the things that matter in terms of system maintenance are outside your hands so if something isn't working you are stuck with raising support tickets for your friendly local provider to ignore and then in a few weeks time tell you it was fine anyway. When the service goes down ( and it inevitably does ) then your product is unavailable.

As a consequence of these, applications developed and hosted in the cloud are often fragile and inconsistent. This makes the end-user's experience less pleasant and it is easy for hard-to-reproduce situational bugs to arise.

So it is hard to develop for, hard to maintain and tends to create unreliable user experiences.

I'm not saying that there is no benefit to a cloud-style approach for some applications, but in most cases I can't tell who the cloud is supposed to be for.

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Quantum computers have failed. So now for the science

breakfast
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Coat

Re: We'll see...

A Nobel prize for telling people where farm animals live? You'd think it would be more difficult.

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breakfast
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Re: @M0rt

The Commentard Uncertainty News Theory perhaps?

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'Hi, I'm from Microsoft and I am GOING TO KILL YOU'

breakfast
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Trollface

Re: I've also had a few of these.

When people ring me up to ask whether I am responsible for the telephone line at my house, I deny having a phone. That either confuses them so much they spend a lot of time trying to convince me that I must do or - in the most satisfying cases - they just apologise and hang up.

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$250K: That's what Lenovo earned to RAT YOU OUT with Superfish

breakfast
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Facepalm

Another no-show

Just in the market for a new laptop now and Lenovo have definitely put themselves out of the running for me. That said, I'm not sure whether this isn't the ideal time to buy- normally after a company has been caught doing something intensely unethical, they are well behaved for a few months until their marketing departments decide that everyone has forgotten about it.

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W3C recommends Pointer Events standard – but it's a touchy subject. Right, Apple?

breakfast
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Meh

Google becoming the new Microsoft

As was observed in that neat TechCrunch piece a week or two back, Google are very much becoming the new Microsoft and when you look at where the majority of their new hires come from it is absolutely self-evident why that is to be expected.

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The Extreme Centre, Rise of the Super Furry Animals and The Kind Worth Killing

breakfast
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Paris Hilton

" You have to hand it to Ali; he’s been kicking against the pricks for so long, he knows his subject like the back of his hand and goes straight for the jugular.

I don't even want to think about how going for the jugular constitutes a kick against the prick.

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HOLY SEA SNAILS! Their TEETH are strong enough to build a plane

breakfast
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Mushroom

Big news for the arms trade

Coming up next: Limpet mines made from actual limpet.

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BLOOD STAR of the NEANDERTHALS passed close to our Sun

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Alien

Timely...

Around that time the human population bottlenecked to a few thousand individuals. Coincidence, or set-up for a future sci-fi epic?

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£100 MILLION poured down drain on failed UK.gov IT projects - in just ONE YEAR

breakfast
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Re: Better than expected

Absolutely! There is a pernicious myth that the private sector is somehow "more efficient" by its nature. Practically this seems more likely to be related to a matter of scale- huge private sector organisations are quite as clumsy and bureaucratic as public sector ones.

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EE 'best' of the UK mobile network bunch, but how good is that?

breakfast
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Re: I can say...

I have been a BT customer in the past surely EE can't be that bad... oh wait, what's this? BT have bought EE?

Between the customer service and the "Everything Everywhere except for phone signal in your phone" thing, definitely time for a change.

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Red-spattered Android figures sinkhole Sony's healthy financials

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Interesting

A lot of love for Sony phone here. I had a low-mid range one a couple of years ago and it was great. Having had a Samsung lately, I would certainly go back to Sony as the best of the Android Smartphone bunch, assuming they survive long enough.

I'd like to believe that if they keep making good stuff, users will come to it, but its a big world, who knows?

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Accused Silk Road boss's lawyer insists he was just a fall guy

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Re: Sir

Why are you worrying about a trial in America when there is a minotaur in there with you? You need to get to safety!

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Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database

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Trollface

Also the interface on TV is always incredibly slow, showing each face in turn as it flicks through them. That always seems like weirdly stupid design to me- what are we going to do with the glimpses of all those faces? - but then I do watch films and worry more about the realism of the user interfaces they are using than the implausible stunts so it is more than possible that I am a total idiot.

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Bill Gates – I WISH I was like Zuck and spoke Chinese. Yep, I drink poo

breakfast
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Re: Death by Super Intelligences: it'll be the personal assistants

The end of the world began with a single world, spoken by a sinister 3D-printed paperclip:

"It looks like you're planning to take over the world and wipe out the puny fleshlings..."

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Thailand: 'The nail that sticks up gets hammered down'

breakfast
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Re: It is

Probably it started through one, then got passed around China at a whisper and came back as the second.

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LIFELESS BEAGLE on MARS: A British TRIUMPH!

breakfast
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The UK can and will go back to Mars

The UK going back to Mars is presumably Farage's ultimate plan to prevent immigration once and for all.

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FERTILISER DOOM warning! PESKY humans set to WIPE selves out AGAIN

breakfast
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Anything touched by the hand of DEFRA is guaranteed to go badly.

The day after I was elected, one of my first moves would be to lock the doors of the ministry and send in the angry badgers to wreak long-sought revenge.

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Microsoft Azure was most FAIL-FILLED cloud of 2014

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Facepalm

Another point of view...

Alternatively, if you went by the "Current Status" message for the Azure service it ran perfectly the whole time.

Really annoying during a massive outage with services unavailable and customers on the phone to go to the status page and see "Everything is running just fine" staring back at you like a big, massive, lie..

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Node.js fork io.js hits version 1.0 – but don't call it production-ready

breakfast
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Trollface

Re: Code sharing?

*Throws a dart angrily*

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breakfast
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Stop

JavaScript is not the best designed or most beautiful language to work with by any means. Compared with other scripting languages it is weird, counter-intuitive and hard to write solid, reusable code with.

But I prefer working with it to Java any day. Last time I did any work with Java ( a couple of months ago ) it just seemed so slow and clunky to get anything up and running. It felt like a real legacy language, like Cobol or something. Every part of configuration was awkward and time consuming and then the code itself is exceptionally verbose. Working with it felt like directing a glacier.

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Insert 'Skeleton Key', unlock Microsoft Active Directory. Simples – hackers

breakfast
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Where can I get one?

This sounds brilliant- Microsoft's version of Single Sign On appears to be based on the concept of constantly logging in to everything you ever use the whole time. Something that let me log on once and then do my freaking job would be amazing. I'll take two!

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2015 will be the Year of Linux on the, no wait, of the dot-word domain EXPLOSION

breakfast
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Email me at... oh, wait.

One thing that the people selling these don't mention is that if you have an email address that's along the lines of me@myawesome.newtld it is going to be rejected by every single email sign-up form you ever encounter. I had enough trouble when I had a .info address and that has been around for ten years now.

Almost all email validation regular expressions expect a standard TLD.

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Comet Lovejoy's greenish glow visible with naked eye this weekend

breakfast
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Re: Ear worm...

I was noticing the absence of Comet Tink and Comet Eric.

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Erik Meijer: AGILE must be destroyed, once and for all

breakfast
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Moving fast and breaking things is all well and good if you're whipping up a pocket-size app at a code jam, but if you are working on something large scale and serious then all you're doing is charging around making a big noise and leaving everyone else on the team to tidy up your mess.

The problem in most development projects is not too much communication between the different stakeholders.

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breakfast
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Re: Smoke and Mirrors

That is not all that it is, but it certainly is massively misunderstood by a lot of its proponents. One of the points of Agile is that you implement features on an interative basis. There is no "done" in an Agile project, just an ongoing process of improvement and feature addition. This is not actually what most business customers want, but it's just the kind of term that marketing chumps love, so they start making up their own amorphous definitions for their own purposes and of course it's the developers who suffer when we can't do the impossible.

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breakfast
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Re: A few good pints

Even just working with the success paths, if you're building the foundations of a larger application having plenty of unit tests is by far the best way to ensure that it at least works to some degree. You won't catch all the problems that the system will encounter in the real world, but if you don't have the test suite in place, loads more problems will be encountered further down the line. I have no strong opinion whether you write the tests or code first, as long as they are written in close proximity to one another, but unless you have unit tests for most of your logic, you're lining yourself up for unnecessary pain.

Also putting an automated test in to catch bugs once they're identified is a great way of ensuring you don't inadvertently put them back in later. In an ideal world nobody would do that, but it turns out that some things about the world are less than ideal.

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Suits vs ponytailed hipsters: What's next for enterprise IT

breakfast
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Indeed, it seems to me that they typically display their follicular excesses on the other side of their heads.

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You like that E Ink book, huh? How about an E Ink HOUSE

breakfast
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Trollface

This has amazing prank opportunities- figures visible out of the corner of your eye that disappear when you look right at them, drawing the classic artist's "cock and balls" motif over entire office buildings.

Possibly many of the games I have been played have been set in these environments, which explains why half the doors in the walls were totally unopenable- it didn't make sense at the time, but now I realise I was in an e-ink environment and the doors were actually just drawn on the walls...

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BILL GATES DRINKS 'boiled and treated' POO. Ah, 'delicious'

breakfast
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Happy

The story that has it all...

The classic combination of affluence and effluent.

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UKIP website TAKES A KIP, but for why?

breakfast
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Re: They arent a serious party..

The thing is that UKIP only have to sound like homophones to be them.

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THREE MILLION Moonpig accounts exposed by flaw

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Facepalm

Safe in the sense that it was nowhere near deep water or being set on fire. Not safe in the sense that anyone on the internet was being stopped from accessing it.

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Want to have your server pwned? Easy: Run PHP

breakfast
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Facepalm

Re: And the alternative is ?

It's not the best option on offer, having worked with a lot of web programming platforms I can promise you it is as close to the worst as you can get without being old ASP with VBScript, but it is passably quick, easy to get started with and offers cheap ubiquitous hosting.

A little like JavaScript in the browser, PHP is an awful language that you can run on servers everywhere. It's actually a bit more awful than JavaScript, which at least has a programming language at its core, but the price is right so it gets used very widely.

One of the major downsides, which this article alludes to, is the way that PHP updates tend to break the existing behaviour of the platform, so migrating an application to a new version is a non-trivial activity as you need to go through a very in-depth QA cycle to be confident that there are no changes that will wreak havoc in your codebase.

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NORKS? Pffft. Infosec bods BLAME disgruntled insiders for savage Sony hack

breakfast
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Re: No shit, Sherlock.

It would be quite an accolade to be the first major corporation brought down entirely by bad system security. Certainly a useful precedent for security companies...

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We can change a bit from 0 to 1 WITHOUT CURRENT, say boffins

breakfast
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Coat

Why do you want to put it on the dude out of Hellraiser?

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Space Commanders lock missiles on Elite's Frontier Devs

breakfast
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Re: Trickier than docking with a space station without a docking computer?

An entertaining part of learning to land in E:D:

"Why am I not landing? This doesn't work!"

"Have you put your landing gear down?"

"$#!#!?!%$"

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breakfast
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I think you have a point about nostalgia here. Seems to me a lot of people would only be happy if they could load ED off a 5 1/4" disk on their BBC.

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breakfast
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Re: Flawed masterpiece?

I had first play last night with a couple of friends. It was a whole lot of fun but although we had created a private group game and made sure we were all at the same place, we only managed to be able to see each other by constantly logging out and in again. Then we got to fly together for a few minutes until we went into hyperspace and everyone had vanished again. Or sometimes one of us could see the others but were invisible to them.

So apparently what they have managed to do is create a game where you can't play offline, but you also can't play online, at least not with the people you want to play with.

To be honest the online play isn't that important to me - this absolutely *is* Elite and I know I'm going to have a whole lot of fun with it. If people are complaining about it on a forum, they're clearly able to go online and it's a little hard to see what they are so angry about. Mild annoyance I can understand, but full-on toys out of the pram tantrums seem a tiny bit excessive.

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Nunslinger, Yosemite For Dummies and Life Inside The Fall

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Re: How about something "Not for Dummies"?

I found a copy of "C For Dummies" in an old box of books. I really wanted it just to contain one page that said "C is not for dummies. If you consider yourself to be in any way a dummy, you really shouldn't involve yourself with C."

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EU VAT law could kill THOUSANDS of online businesses

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Flame

Re: Sounds like time to shut down my online business

And if you have it sent by an automated email you are subject to the ruling, but if you email them manually you aren't. It's basically a maze of idiotically designed passages, all alike.

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breakfast
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Holmes

Re: Amazon is a seller of physical goods...

You are of course correct, but if Amazon were ever to start selling anything electronic, such as ebooks or music downloads, this law would probably catch them out.

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It's whiff, Jim, but not as we know it: Curiosity sniffs ORGANICS on Mars

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Asking the wrong question

If only Bowie had thought to ask "are there guffs on Mars?" he would now have a clear answer.

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