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* Posts by breakfast

793 posts • joined 24 May 2007

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Cave scrawls show that Neanderthals were AT LEAST as talented as modern artists

breakfast
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Holmes

Re: Crude scrawl?

"What is it Ug?"

"Ug have vision. Ug see great camp of many caves. This picture is map of camp."

"Who has camp?"

"Ug not know. But it bigger than all the camps in the world. It guarded by great bison made of stone."

"Do you think was future, Ug?"

"Ug says it was a true seeing."

...

"Perhaps we choose extinction instead, Ug."

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Google flushes out users of old browsers by serving up CLUNKY, AGED version of search

breakfast
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Re: Yay, usable maps again

Also the new maps doesn't work at all on Chrome for Linux for quite a lot of users. Or at least it just shows a completely black screen, so I guess maybe it's just forecasting our imminent vanishing into a cunningly hidden singularity or something. But it's quite annoying if you want to look at a map.

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

breakfast
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But is reality really real?

Questioning whether reality is real is one of those things that, although appealing to a stoned undergrad, doesn't really make much sense. It's reality, what else is it going to be?

What it is made of is undeniably an interesting question, but whatever the form of the structure is ( a holographic sheen on the surface of an n-dimensional super--bubble perhaps ) it won't change how real it is.

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Echopraxia scores 'diamond cutter' on the sci-fi hardness scale

breakfast
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I thought it was good but... not quite as good as I wanted it to be and I can't put my finger on why.

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Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

breakfast
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Following other laws of physics

If we are considering ninjas, surely the Law Of Conservation Of Ninjutsu suggests that there should only be one ninja.

I would link TVTropes on the subject, but it's not the end of the work day yet and I don't want to entirely destroy everyone's productivity.

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ISIS terror fanatics invade Diaspora after Twitter blockade

breakfast
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So really...

Diaspora*? More like Hegira* AMIRITE????

*looking forward to being amply and vigorously corrected over the difference between the terms...

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Look, no client! Not quite: the long road to a webbified Vim

breakfast
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Meh

Just because you can do anything in JavaScript doesn't mean you should.

One of the things you can do in JavaScript is make it behave a little like a well-thought-through and usable language, but the effort is non-trivial. This is one reason I find Node so baffling- why are we taking the one of the most irritating languages around and putting it on the server rather than dedicating some effort to picking one of the many excellent languages that exist already and making it run in the browser?

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Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?

breakfast
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Re: Open council web sites. Secret bin collections

One does not simply walk into Basingstoke and find when the bins are going to be collected.

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Oculus sucked by Zuck? 'I'm over it' – Minecraft supremo Notch

breakfast
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Is it not a surname? How do Scandinavian names work?

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You'll find Yoda at the back of every IT conference

breakfast
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Spectating is easy

Long years ago when I was a student we collectively played the Occarina Of Time on the house N64. Wow, that looks like a euphemism now I see it in writing. Hmmm.

Anyway, one thing we noticed was that whoever had the controller immediately became a total idiot- everyone else could easily accomplish whatever strategy we had just come up with but they kept crashing into walls, falling into lava or getting arbitrarily killed by bats. It was infuriating. The only thing more frustrating was when you got hold of the controller and suddenly it turned out you were the chump.

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Intel teams up with rap chap 50 Cent on heartbeat headphones

breakfast
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Troublesome recollections

I'm sure there was another rapper who was involved in the headphones business, but I can't for the life of me recall who.

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NASA's rock'n'roll shock: ROLLING STONE FOUND ON MARS

breakfast
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Coat

How does it feel?

It is clearly out on it's own, but that trail does provide a direction home and thanks to articles like this it is now relatively well known. From this we can conclude it is in fact unlike a rolling stone.

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Who needs hackers? 'Password1' opens a third of all biz doors

breakfast
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Re: Two factor ...

I have soul but I'm not a soldier.

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breakfast
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Re: @ J.G.Harston Resets?

Twiiter was the same when I first signed up...

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Stanford boffin is first woman to bag 'math Nobel Prize'

breakfast
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Re: Professor??

I'm sure Marcus was thinking that she comes from the region that pretty much invented mathematics, astronomy and laid the foundations for much of the knowledge of the classical world. Also the numerals we use, the decimal point, algebra and algorithm all originate with the same Persian scholar ( Abū ʿAbdallāh Muḥammad ibn Mūsā al-Khwārizmī - he didn't invent the digits, but they were introduced through his work ) among many other important developments through history. So there is a massive and deep history and culture of mathematical brilliance there and it makes sense that a woman from Iran would do well in that field.

Yup, almost certain that is what he was getting at.

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breakfast
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Good job, Mitochondrial Eve!

It's an impressive achievement not only to have every living human descended from you, but then to still be around and doing good work in complex geometry.

I notice we haven't heard much from the first man lately.

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The internet just BROKE under its own weight – we explain how

breakfast
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Re: Good work, everyone!

I prefer the term "Bronze Badge"...

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breakfast
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Good work, everyone!

Nothing to add except that I have learned some new things from both the article and the comments here. Exactly the kind of thing that makes The Register invaluable.

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Govt control? Hah! It's IMPOSSIBLE to have a successful command economy

breakfast
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One of the weird beliefs that has political currency, which will seem as curious and antiquated to future generations as the imperial beliefs or radium healthcare of our predecessors are to us, is that markets make everything better, or that every political problem is a type of problem that can be solved by a market.

It is, of course, idiocy. But it is idiocy of the kind that is very fashionable around the world's politicians right now - and also commentards, I anticipate a flurry of downvotes here - so I suppose there will need to be some terrible disasters before anybody with any authority has the wit to question it.

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Beware of Greeks bearing spammy small omicrons, says Google

breakfast
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Trollface

Re: stab at classically-based joke

I work with a Greek guy and he speaks English, so I don't know where you got that idea from.

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WinPhone's Halo hottie Cortana to hit desktop in next Windows – report

breakfast
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Boffin

Re: Prior Art

In sane countries it is the method for making things work that gets patented. From what I can tell in the US you do just patent an idea, a thought or something you dreamed about and then you can go sue-crazy on anyone who actually implements something remotely like it even though the patent contains no detailed design information at all.

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LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

breakfast
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Nominative determinism

Would PARIS have even had that name if it wasn't for a strong relationship with wood? Perhaps some things are so utterly inevitable there is no point fighting them.

Failing that:

Collision Rerouting Autopilot System Heuristic

Ballocket Undercarriage Safety Harness

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HUMAN RACE PERIL: Not nukes, it'll be AI that kills us off, warns Musk

breakfast
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Nukes may not be the problem

As long as we don't create a Sentient Hyper-Optimized Data Access Network, I'm sure we'll be fine.

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What's that? A PHP SPECIFICATION? Surely you're joking, Facebook

breakfast
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Re: In my experience...

The article "PHP: A fractal of bad design" that I linked above is the ideal guide to this issue. The opening metaphor is very accurate indeed and tells you most of what you need to know.

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breakfast
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Re: PHP is like democracy

It is a fair point, but once you have used a real OO language like Ruby or Python ( or Java, C#, Smalltalk or whatever else attracts your whimsy ) the shortcomings of PHP's implementation start to become somewhat glaring - it may be no more tacked on than Perl's, but it also doesn't do a lot of things that an optimist might hope for.

That said, it's a few years since I have endeavoured to wrangle PHP's object system into something that resembled a thing a person might be able to use, so it has probably got a lot better than it used to be.

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breakfast
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Re: PHP is like democracy

"relatively sane" and "OO" - I do not think those words mean what you think they mean.

For me, this is the definitive summary of PHP: http://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

By combining PHP and JavaScript you end up creating a perfect storm of badly designed but carefully implemented languages. Someone who had worked with both exclusively ( as many web developers have ) would probably think that being insane was a basic feature of a programming language.

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SOULLESS machine-intelligence ROBOT cars to hit Blighty in 2015

breakfast
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Re: I want a driverless car!

I'm not ready to give up my horse now, but she's not tremendously practical as a way of getting from A to B and for some reason the office don't have any stabling or grazing arrangements.

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UK.gov's Open Source switch WON'T get rid of Microsoft, y'know

breakfast
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Corner ahead

Sounds like linux on the desktop is just around the corner...

Actually there may be several corners as the Linux office suite that packs with the latest Ubuntu is chaotically unreliable and gaspingly slow even on a new and powerful desktop. It's not a big part of my job, so it's fine for me, but I would hate to be having to work with it.

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iOS services intended solely for diagnostics: 'I don’t buy it for a minute'

breakfast
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Holmes

Enlightened

I suddenly understood the name "iPlayer" yesterday and awarded the BBC several points for coming up with a name that totally went past me for years.

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Vote now for LOHAN's stirring mission patch motto

breakfast
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Awesomesauce

I am super excited to have made the shortlist. Went on my lunchbreak with a false moustache and suglasses which must have worked as I didn't get papped.

Also, all this latin reminds me a of the execution scene in Top Secret, still one of the greatest movies ever made.

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That stirring LOHAN motto: Anyone know a native Latin speaker?

breakfast
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I am surprised to discover the romans had no word for ballockets.

Raises serious questions regarding what they have ever done for us.

Which provides another possible motto: Quid pro nobis Romanos?

( Google translated because I know nothing about latin beyond a bit of etymology. )

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breakfast
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Actually the classic placeholder text would make a funny motto.

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Space geeks' resurrected NASA Sun probe ISEE-3 now on collision course with THE MOON

breakfast
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Re: Working 'out of'

They're certainly not uncromulent.

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July 14, 2015. Tuesday. No more support for Windows Server 2003. Good luck

breakfast
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It's enough to make me wonder whether the place I was contracting at a couple of years ago still runs Windows 2000. Discovering that was a bit of a shock to the system.

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

breakfast
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Cesarian suggestion

Veni vici ballocketi

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The final score: Gramophones 1 – Glassholes 0

breakfast
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May contain flashing lights and strong colours

I really hope there is some way to exploit Glass using a carefully contrived set of flashing lights pointed at the camera. It would open the door to all kinds of hilarious and disconcerting pranks.

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'Apple is TERRIFIED of women’s bodies and women’s pleasure' – fresh tech sex storm

breakfast
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Re: Misogyny?

Because people like you are still asking questions like that.

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LG unfurls flexible SEE-THROUGH 18-inch display

breakfast
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This will be convenient when we can have a useful size of screen rolled up in a pocket. I like to imagine that phones will be around the size of a pen and just roll out as needed.

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The Windows 8 dilemma: Win 8 or wait for 9?

breakfast
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FAIL

Excited for the update

I look forward to the next update to Windows 8 - when I got 8.1 it killed my wireless card in a way that has -as yet- to be fixed by either the maker or by Microsoft. It is certified as Windows Compatible, though, so I guess I must be imagining the constant network dropouts as must all the other users of the same card. Probably our own fault for having a computer that uses a part from an obscure manufacturer like Intel, I guess.

I can't wait to see what essential parts of my system stop working with the next "update" - maybe the screen? Or the keyboard? It's like a special lottery.

Fortunately I'm not doing much Windows development at the moment so I just run Mint on the machine most of the time. It seems to work fine...

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Lords try shoehorning law against REVENGE SMUT into justice bill

breakfast
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Big Brother

A counter-service?

I guess the ideal situation would be for prospective partners to be able to find out whether someone was the kind of person who posted revenge porn. That would work as a fairly clear deterrent to them and the expectation of never getting laid again would possibly stand to deter the poster too. If it didn't, stop them, it would perhaps serve to remove that particularly tiresome type of boor from the gene pool, which would be no bad thing for the species as a whole.

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breakfast
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Paris Hilton

What about when the subject was asleep half uncovered by the duvet and their creeper partner took their picture?

What if both people believed the pictures were kept private but somebody else stole them off a hard drive, phone etc?

There are some pretty clear cut cases here too. Do people not deserve protection in those kinds of case?

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Trick-cyclists defend Facebook emoto-furtling experiment

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Trollface

Cute, though

Bless them, the trick cyclists think they're doing science.

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Facebook: Yes, we made you SAD on PURPOSE... for your own good

breakfast
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Positive results

Apparently Facebook's experiments reveal that they definitely can provoke an emotional response. And not just in the users they experimented on.

Good work.

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Retiring Reg hack explains how bass playing = tech reporting

breakfast
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I got an old bass defretted once and through the cunning means of having the fret gaps filled a different colour to the frets, it wasn't too hard to adjust by ear when my eyes missed. Eventually my hands kind of learnt the positions and it wasn't too hard. I was never much of a fretless player though.

These days I have somewhat switched to g**tar and occasional mandolin, which do get noticed a whole lot more by the audience, though my standard in both is probably considerably lower. Good bass playing is, unfortunately, invisible to anyone who isn't also a bass player.

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BBC: Bumpkins, hobbits need fairer coverage

breakfast
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Bumpkin 4rr loyfe

As a borderline bumpkin myself I have noticed that there is a lot of reluctance to talk about rural issues and more specifically to talk about them with people who live in the affected area. At best you're going to get a representative from the NFU ( the one union for whom the government will bow down abjectly at their slightest whim ) rather than someone who knows the actual area that the story is about.

The last foot and mouth story broke just very near to where I live. Various journalists and reporters were consistently found waiting outside the farm where it happened for days. I did not see a single story on the topic that spelled the name of the farm correctly in spite of the fact it was right there. Not to mention reporters stomping around through fields where they risked spreading the pathogen further. That week I realised that I just wasn't cynical enough about the news media.

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breakfast
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Re: The BBC is biased

That isn't just the BBC, though, is it? It covers pretty much all the mainstream media. It often seems as though if you could turn the M25 into a 500 foot high wall, it would take weeks for anyone in the media ( or parliament, come to think of it ) to even notice.

Even after they did and the whole thing was the biggest story of the year, it would still be six months before the chumps at Defra realised.

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You want a medal for writing a script? Sure: here it is!

breakfast
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Re: anyone who writes Perl ...

I have used all three in various jobs and I can safely say that Ruby and Python are tidier by default and conceptually simpler. Ruby is the closest thing I have encountered to a beautiful programming language and I always enjoy using it.

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BOFH: You can take our lives, but you'll never take OUR MACROS

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Re: Access?

They're probably still having their naps.

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Re: Single user PC database might be OK

One of the great things about Access is that it is so massively internally broken at the design level that it has a "repair" button so you can fix all the horrible things that your database has done to itself.

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Black hole three-way: Supermassive trio are 'rippling' space

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Impressive work from the SKA

The problem with the SKA of course, is that the images it produces are all two-tone.

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