* Posts by breakfast

908 posts • joined 24 May 2007

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'Hi, I'm from Microsoft and I am GOING TO KILL YOU'

breakfast
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Trollface

Re: I've also had a few of these.

When people ring me up to ask whether I am responsible for the telephone line at my house, I deny having a phone. That either confuses them so much they spend a lot of time trying to convince me that I must do or - in the most satisfying cases - they just apologise and hang up.

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$250K: That's what Lenovo earned to RAT YOU OUT with Superfish

breakfast
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Facepalm

Another no-show

Just in the market for a new laptop now and Lenovo have definitely put themselves out of the running for me. That said, I'm not sure whether this isn't the ideal time to buy- normally after a company has been caught doing something intensely unethical, they are well behaved for a few months until their marketing departments decide that everyone has forgotten about it.

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W3C recommends Pointer Events standard – but it's a touchy subject. Right, Apple?

breakfast
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Meh

Google becoming the new Microsoft

As was observed in that neat TechCrunch piece a week or two back, Google are very much becoming the new Microsoft and when you look at where the majority of their new hires come from it is absolutely self-evident why that is to be expected.

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The Extreme Centre, Rise of the Super Furry Animals and The Kind Worth Killing

breakfast
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Paris Hilton

" You have to hand it to Ali; he’s been kicking against the pricks for so long, he knows his subject like the back of his hand and goes straight for the jugular.

I don't even want to think about how going for the jugular constitutes a kick against the prick.

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HOLY SEA SNAILS! Their TEETH are strong enough to build a plane

breakfast
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Mushroom

Big news for the arms trade

Coming up next: Limpet mines made from actual limpet.

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BLOOD STAR of the NEANDERTHALS passed close to our Sun

breakfast
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Alien

Timely...

Around that time the human population bottlenecked to a few thousand individuals. Coincidence, or set-up for a future sci-fi epic?

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£100 MILLION poured down drain on failed UK.gov IT projects - in just ONE YEAR

breakfast
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Re: Better than expected

Absolutely! There is a pernicious myth that the private sector is somehow "more efficient" by its nature. Practically this seems more likely to be related to a matter of scale- huge private sector organisations are quite as clumsy and bureaucratic as public sector ones.

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EE 'best' of the UK mobile network bunch, but how good is that?

breakfast
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Re: I can say...

I have been a BT customer in the past surely EE can't be that bad... oh wait, what's this? BT have bought EE?

Between the customer service and the "Everything Everywhere except for phone signal in your phone" thing, definitely time for a change.

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Red-spattered Android figures sinkhole Sony's healthy financials

breakfast
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Interesting

A lot of love for Sony phone here. I had a low-mid range one a couple of years ago and it was great. Having had a Samsung lately, I would certainly go back to Sony as the best of the Android Smartphone bunch, assuming they survive long enough.

I'd like to believe that if they keep making good stuff, users will come to it, but its a big world, who knows?

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Accused Silk Road boss's lawyer insists he was just a fall guy

breakfast
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Re: Sir

Why are you worrying about a trial in America when there is a minotaur in there with you? You need to get to safety!

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Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database

breakfast
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Trollface

Also the interface on TV is always incredibly slow, showing each face in turn as it flicks through them. That always seems like weirdly stupid design to me- what are we going to do with the glimpses of all those faces? - but then I do watch films and worry more about the realism of the user interfaces they are using than the implausible stunts so it is more than possible that I am a total idiot.

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Bill Gates – I WISH I was like Zuck and spoke Chinese. Yep, I drink poo

breakfast
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Re: Death by Super Intelligences: it'll be the personal assistants

The end of the world began with a single world, spoken by a sinister 3D-printed paperclip:

"It looks like you're planning to take over the world and wipe out the puny fleshlings..."

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Thailand: 'The nail that sticks up gets hammered down'

breakfast
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Re: It is

Probably it started through one, then got passed around China at a whisper and came back as the second.

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LIFELESS BEAGLE on MARS: A British TRIUMPH!

breakfast
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The UK can and will go back to Mars

The UK going back to Mars is presumably Farage's ultimate plan to prevent immigration once and for all.

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FERTILISER DOOM warning! PESKY humans set to WIPE selves out AGAIN

breakfast
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Anything touched by the hand of DEFRA is guaranteed to go badly.

The day after I was elected, one of my first moves would be to lock the doors of the ministry and send in the angry badgers to wreak long-sought revenge.

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Microsoft Azure was most FAIL-FILLED cloud of 2014

breakfast
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Facepalm

Another point of view...

Alternatively, if you went by the "Current Status" message for the Azure service it ran perfectly the whole time.

Really annoying during a massive outage with services unavailable and customers on the phone to go to the status page and see "Everything is running just fine" staring back at you like a big, massive, lie..

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Node.js fork io.js hits version 1.0 – but don't call it production-ready

breakfast
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Trollface

Re: Code sharing?

*Throws a dart angrily*

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breakfast
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Stop

JavaScript is not the best designed or most beautiful language to work with by any means. Compared with other scripting languages it is weird, counter-intuitive and hard to write solid, reusable code with.

But I prefer working with it to Java any day. Last time I did any work with Java ( a couple of months ago ) it just seemed so slow and clunky to get anything up and running. It felt like a real legacy language, like Cobol or something. Every part of configuration was awkward and time consuming and then the code itself is exceptionally verbose. Working with it felt like directing a glacier.

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Insert 'Skeleton Key', unlock Microsoft Active Directory. Simples – hackers

breakfast
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Where can I get one?

This sounds brilliant- Microsoft's version of Single Sign On appears to be based on the concept of constantly logging in to everything you ever use the whole time. Something that let me log on once and then do my freaking job would be amazing. I'll take two!

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2015 will be the Year of Linux on the, no wait, of the dot-word domain EXPLOSION

breakfast
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Email me at... oh, wait.

One thing that the people selling these don't mention is that if you have an email address that's along the lines of me@myawesome.newtld it is going to be rejected by every single email sign-up form you ever encounter. I had enough trouble when I had a .info address and that has been around for ten years now.

Almost all email validation regular expressions expect a standard TLD.

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Comet Lovejoy's greenish glow visible with naked eye this weekend

breakfast
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Re: Ear worm...

I was noticing the absence of Comet Tink and Comet Eric.

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Erik Meijer: AGILE must be destroyed, once and for all

breakfast
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Moving fast and breaking things is all well and good if you're whipping up a pocket-size app at a code jam, but if you are working on something large scale and serious then all you're doing is charging around making a big noise and leaving everyone else on the team to tidy up your mess.

The problem in most development projects is not too much communication between the different stakeholders.

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breakfast
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Re: Smoke and Mirrors

That is not all that it is, but it certainly is massively misunderstood by a lot of its proponents. One of the points of Agile is that you implement features on an interative basis. There is no "done" in an Agile project, just an ongoing process of improvement and feature addition. This is not actually what most business customers want, but it's just the kind of term that marketing chumps love, so they start making up their own amorphous definitions for their own purposes and of course it's the developers who suffer when we can't do the impossible.

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breakfast
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Re: A few good pints

Even just working with the success paths, if you're building the foundations of a larger application having plenty of unit tests is by far the best way to ensure that it at least works to some degree. You won't catch all the problems that the system will encounter in the real world, but if you don't have the test suite in place, loads more problems will be encountered further down the line. I have no strong opinion whether you write the tests or code first, as long as they are written in close proximity to one another, but unless you have unit tests for most of your logic, you're lining yourself up for unnecessary pain.

Also putting an automated test in to catch bugs once they're identified is a great way of ensuring you don't inadvertently put them back in later. In an ideal world nobody would do that, but it turns out that some things about the world are less than ideal.

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Suits vs ponytailed hipsters: What's next for enterprise IT

breakfast
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Indeed, it seems to me that they typically display their follicular excesses on the other side of their heads.

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You like that E Ink book, huh? How about an E Ink HOUSE

breakfast
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Trollface

This has amazing prank opportunities- figures visible out of the corner of your eye that disappear when you look right at them, drawing the classic artist's "cock and balls" motif over entire office buildings.

Possibly many of the games I have been played have been set in these environments, which explains why half the doors in the walls were totally unopenable- it didn't make sense at the time, but now I realise I was in an e-ink environment and the doors were actually just drawn on the walls...

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BILL GATES DRINKS 'boiled and treated' POO. Ah, 'delicious'

breakfast
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Happy

The story that has it all...

The classic combination of affluence and effluent.

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UKIP website TAKES A KIP, but for why?

breakfast
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Re: They arent a serious party..

The thing is that UKIP only have to sound like homophones to be them.

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THREE MILLION Moonpig accounts exposed by flaw

breakfast
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Facepalm

Safe in the sense that it was nowhere near deep water or being set on fire. Not safe in the sense that anyone on the internet was being stopped from accessing it.

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Want to have your server pwned? Easy: Run PHP

breakfast
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Facepalm

Re: And the alternative is ?

It's not the best option on offer, having worked with a lot of web programming platforms I can promise you it is as close to the worst as you can get without being old ASP with VBScript, but it is passably quick, easy to get started with and offers cheap ubiquitous hosting.

A little like JavaScript in the browser, PHP is an awful language that you can run on servers everywhere. It's actually a bit more awful than JavaScript, which at least has a programming language at its core, but the price is right so it gets used very widely.

One of the major downsides, which this article alludes to, is the way that PHP updates tend to break the existing behaviour of the platform, so migrating an application to a new version is a non-trivial activity as you need to go through a very in-depth QA cycle to be confident that there are no changes that will wreak havoc in your codebase.

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NORKS? Pffft. Infosec bods BLAME disgruntled insiders for savage Sony hack

breakfast
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Re: No shit, Sherlock.

It would be quite an accolade to be the first major corporation brought down entirely by bad system security. Certainly a useful precedent for security companies...

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We can change a bit from 0 to 1 WITHOUT CURRENT, say boffins

breakfast
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Coat

Why do you want to put it on the dude out of Hellraiser?

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Space Commanders lock missiles on Elite's Frontier Devs

breakfast
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Re: Trickier than docking with a space station without a docking computer?

An entertaining part of learning to land in E:D:

"Why am I not landing? This doesn't work!"

"Have you put your landing gear down?"

"$#!#!?!%$"

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breakfast
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I think you have a point about nostalgia here. Seems to me a lot of people would only be happy if they could load ED off a 5 1/4" disk on their BBC.

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breakfast
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Re: Flawed masterpiece?

I had first play last night with a couple of friends. It was a whole lot of fun but although we had created a private group game and made sure we were all at the same place, we only managed to be able to see each other by constantly logging out and in again. Then we got to fly together for a few minutes until we went into hyperspace and everyone had vanished again. Or sometimes one of us could see the others but were invisible to them.

So apparently what they have managed to do is create a game where you can't play offline, but you also can't play online, at least not with the people you want to play with.

To be honest the online play isn't that important to me - this absolutely *is* Elite and I know I'm going to have a whole lot of fun with it. If people are complaining about it on a forum, they're clearly able to go online and it's a little hard to see what they are so angry about. Mild annoyance I can understand, but full-on toys out of the pram tantrums seem a tiny bit excessive.

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Nunslinger, Yosemite For Dummies and Life Inside The Fall

breakfast
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Re: How about something "Not for Dummies"?

I found a copy of "C For Dummies" in an old box of books. I really wanted it just to contain one page that said "C is not for dummies. If you consider yourself to be in any way a dummy, you really shouldn't involve yourself with C."

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EU VAT law could kill THOUSANDS of online businesses

breakfast
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Flame

Re: Sounds like time to shut down my online business

And if you have it sent by an automated email you are subject to the ruling, but if you email them manually you aren't. It's basically a maze of idiotically designed passages, all alike.

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breakfast
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Holmes

Re: Amazon is a seller of physical goods...

You are of course correct, but if Amazon were ever to start selling anything electronic, such as ebooks or music downloads, this law would probably catch them out.

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It's whiff, Jim, but not as we know it: Curiosity sniffs ORGANICS on Mars

breakfast
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Asking the wrong question

If only Bowie had thought to ask "are there guffs on Mars?" he would now have a clear answer.

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'Turn to nuclear power to save planetary ecology from renewable BLIGHT'

breakfast
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WTF?

Re: "Sellafield is going to cost way more than the current £70 Billion alloted "

I scrolled past that several times and did a double-take each time because my brain was determined to read "Sellafield" as "Seinfeld".

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BT to gobble EE for £12.5bn – BTEE phone home

breakfast
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Everything Everywhere except signal in my phone

Thanks, but after hearing about this I won't be staying an EE customer for long. I would hope that this will be enough to push everyone else on the network out of their phone inertia too- the only reason I can imagine that anybody stays. I have been a BT customer and I will not be one again.

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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies – Thin plot, great CGI effects

breakfast
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Coat

Re: So now the Hobbit is finished

Latin dog naming Rex things for everyone.

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breakfast
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I know that you mostly came here for MY opinion

I watched it on Friday and, as a somewhat uncritical fan of both Tolkien and Jackson's version of Middle Earth, I really enjoyed it.

Certainly more taut than it's two predecessors, with more storyline and less pointless running about, it pulled things together nicely and - in my view - retained a lot of the book while doing so.

A lot of people seem angry with these films for not being something that they could never possibly have been - the Hobbit is not the Lord Of The Rings and so the films are not going to be similar. They've done a fair job of taking that story into the more fully realised world of LOTR and made two enjoyable films - that probably shouldn't have been three - in the process.

The actors did a great job, the story was well told, the CGI battle scenes mostly made way for relevant character storytelling, from where the previous film started, this was pretty much an ideal ending.

Basically, if you found the previous films passable to enjoyable, you will probably like this one a little better. If you found them intolerable, then this really isn't for you.

So now that we have Tolkien out the way - and I really hope that we have - what are the odds of seeing some more recent fantasy get a cinematic treatment? Surely these films - and the GRR televisations - have shown that there is a market?

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breakfast
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Watching the behind-the-scenes documentaries for this, they actually went into the same kind of level of detail. They also did a lot of character background and some pretty cool live action stunt sequences, then inexplicably made it all look like CGI in post production. I have no idea why.

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breakfast
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Re: Coming Fall 2016

Michael Bay's The Silmarillion: Dawn of the First Age

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

breakfast
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If you've been looking into optical weapons for that long, either they're very ineffective or you're lucky to have kept your eyesight...

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

breakfast
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Boffin

Re: Hard on the eyes

I concur, not keen on the whole "not clear where the column of actual content begins and ends" thing- not only is there too much whitespace by a ridiculous amount, but it makes the content look ragged and untidy. The biggest thing I miss about the previous design is the colour outside of the content space. The old grey background worked well for me.

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Concerning Microsoft Azure Active Directory

breakfast
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Re: point out any big negatives

That is less than nine hours per year of downtime - come to think of it I think the big outage last month broke that - but the neat thing is that the agreements are set up so if they fail to meet that target you're going to be lucky to claw back fifty pence and a red button.

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Google kills CAPTCHAs: Are we human or are we spammer?

breakfast
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Re: Hmmmm...

...or do we?

http://parkorbird.flickr.com/

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breakfast
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Re: "Maybe what is needed is a combination of natural language processing and ethics"

You're right- this would kill PHBbb altogether...

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