* Posts by phuzz

1478 posts • joined 23 Feb 2010

Move over, Google. Here’s Wikipedia's search engine – full of on-demand smut

phuzz
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Facepalm

It's the biggest eBook store in the world, so yeah, it's still a thing.

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Firemen free chap's todger from four-ring chokehold

phuzz
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Re: Shudder

Indeed, sod thinking about Theresa May, surely just thinking about his predicament should have caused shrinkage?

(Except I assume said rings were stopping blood from exiting his gentleman's sausage)

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Is tech monitoring software still worth talking about?

phuzz
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So nobodys going to recommend what they're using? I'll go first then.

Back when I was working at a Windows only company I found Spiceworks to be really good. It could autoadd basically everything, and even had a ticketing system built in.

Since then I've used Cacti, which is ok, but is purely SNMP based, and we've now moved on to Zabbix which works fine with SNMP, but also has it's own monitoring client for computers and servers, and a proxy system, so you don't need all of the boxes on your secure network having access to your main monitoring server.

Zabbix is a bit of a faff to set up until you get used to it's terminology, but as far as I can tell, so are all monitoring systems. they're just about to release version 3 which I've not tried yet.

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NASA charges up 18-prop electric X-plane

phuzz
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Boffin

Re: It will be interesting to see the results...

I'm guessing that the drag due to a propeller is related to it's surface area? As all the propellers are very small I'm guessing there could be even less drag than a single large prop.

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Getting a grip on Puppet: A guide for beginners

phuzz
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Re: Know what one is doing

If you RTFA you'll notice that the author is in fact using the command line for everything.

Unless you're saying that everyone should use the command line exclusively instead of puppet, which is a pretty limited viewpoint. Should I not use scripts either?

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Don't you see these simple facts? Destroy Facebook and restore human Liberty

phuzz
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Re: Facebook?

People have always been self-obsessed, go look at some cave art and what do you see? Stick figures of people.

It might be a bit more visible now, but it's not a new thing.

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Private clouds kinda suck, you know?

phuzz
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WTF?

Re: Also Confused

>> Perhaps a definition of "Cloud" might be useful?

> Cloud = someone else's computer

So what's a private cloud then? Someone else's computer that you own?

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Norks uses ballistic missile to launch silent 'satellite'

phuzz
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Re: Uh, oh. Enemy du jour detected, closing fast!

Sputnik was arguably a test of the R7 ICBM launcher, but the Soviets had already successfully tested it with a dummy warhead two months before, Sputnik was a test to see if they could use it to launch a satellite. For starters Sputnik weighed less than a nuke and had no re-entry options.

As it turns out, the R7 was a pretty terrible ICBM (big, slow to prepare, un-storable propellants etc), but it's a great space launcher (over 1600 successful launches and still going strong).

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Official UN panel findings on embassy-squatter released. Assange: I'm 'vindicated'

phuzz
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IT Angle

I'm still not sure how the UK and Sweden are improperly detaining him when technically he's in Ecuador...

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Who would code a self-destruct feature into their own web browser? Oh, hello, Apple

phuzz
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Boffin

Memtest

Just a thought, have you tried doing a memtest? It's pretty unlikely that both your machines would start suffering memory errors at the same time, but you never know.

Perhaps one of your neighbours has started up a particle accelerator next door?

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What's it like to work for a genius and Olympic archer who's mates with Richard Branson?

phuzz
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Facepalm

I also worked at a company (~£10M turnover) where the head of finance had a 2GB Access (plus numerous copies for roll-back) 'database' that pulled in data from SQL so he could then run his own reports (via Excel of course).

Eventually for equally stupid reasons they moved to using SAP, which in the circumstances was as overpowered as the Access system was underpowered, but it did at least include a budget for VMWare and a SAN which I enjoyed spending.

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Row over GCHQ-built voice algo MIKEY SAKKE rumbles on

phuzz
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Thumb Up

If you look to the left of the Comment button, you'll see a link to the "Tips and corrections" email address, which is a much better place to send typos than just leaving a comment.

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Microsoft's malware mitigator refreshed, but even Redmond says it's no longer needed

phuzz
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"The day I replace Win7 on my computer, it won't be with a Microsoft OS."

Loads of people said that about XP, I wonder how many of them stuck with that promise and how much on an impact it made on Microsoft's bottom line.

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Autodesk vapourises ten per cent of jobs to go completely cloudy

phuzz
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Headmaster

There's plenty of places that will rent out tools, although usually it's the expensive and specialised tools that most people wouldn't want to buy (eg a concrete mixer).

That said, you can indeed hire a (sledge) hammer. Weekly not monthly rental though.

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They're alive! Galileo sats 9 and 10 sending valid signals

phuzz
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Trollface

Re: GPS

"Yes, the french are insisting on having their own independent GPS system"

It will deliberately send you on a detour so it's got more time to finish shagging your other-half.

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Microsoft: Yes, we are going to kill off Enterprise Agreements

phuzz
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Facepalm

Re: Does this mean no Windows installations will be free from forced updates?

Isn't the whole point of entering into a Microsoft Enterprise Agreement that you get free upgrades to the newest version of wondows during the contract?

Otherwise you could just buy computers with an OEM installation and just use outdated versions of windows as long as you like.

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UK taxpayers should foot £2bn or more to adopt Snoopers' Charter, says Inquiry

phuzz
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Headmaster

Re: Really?????

Look, either you pay your share of the £2B from your taxes (the the government then gives to the ISPs), or your ISP will have to charge you more to make it's costs back.

What's that? You'd like a third option where you don't have to pay for the privilege of being spied upon? You and me both mate.

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What’s new in Hyper-V in Windows Server 2016?

phuzz
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Gimp

One of our customers is using HyperV (because it's basically free once you've bought Windows). Across two hosts they're running about three Windows VMs, and about four Linux VMs.

The only wrinkle I've found is that Ubuntu Server 14.04 VMs don't always shutdown correctly, one of the VM extensions seems to be hanging. Otherwise they work just as well as on VMWare or Virtualbox as far as I can tell.

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Reg readers battle to claim 'my silicon's older than yours' crown

phuzz
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Boffin

Re: I wonder / outside events

"what kind of radiation is emitted by a frustrated user?"

Users emit "bogons", which cause computers to fail, different people emit different different amounts. You may well have met a user who emits a high level of bogons, causing technology near to them to fail inexplicably.

Sysadmins absorb bogons, help the machines to work again. The absorbed bogons are re-emitted at a lower energy level as snark.

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Land Rover Defender dies: Production finally halted by EU rules

phuzz
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Re: Why are they ending it now?

There's another reason, something like 60% of all Defenders sold are still going. It's a bit difficult to sell a new one when the old one works just fine*.

* and by fine I mean there will always be something broken on it, but you could still drive it to the top of Snowden and back

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phuzz
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Re: also..

Until recently my brother's 110 required one litre of transmission fluid per 100 miles.

The volume of magic smoke required to refill the Lucas electrics however is literally incalculable (the interior lights flash when he indicates left).

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Home Office lost its workers' completed security vetting forms

phuzz
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Joke

Re: But...

Yes, next year they're going to make sure they release this info on a busy news day when it won't be noticed.

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The monitor didn't work but the problem was between the user's ears

phuzz
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Unhappy

Re: The thing is...

We've just moved offices and I currently have my computer plugged in with one of those four-gang power strips with individual switches by each socket. I'm getting paranoid that I'm going to stretch my foot out and accidentally flick the power off...

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Oracle to kill off Java browser plugins with JDK 9

phuzz
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Flame

Re: Say what?

But who do we blame for taking the good idea of Java and ruining it? Oracle? Or Sun?

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Microsoft: We think your Office files should see other people

phuzz
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Gimp

Re: Try doing that on Linux Mint!!

To be fair, the OP is correct, Microsoft OneDrive (either version) has no linux client. I'm pretty sure you could use the online version of Word to 'collaboratory edit' a document on Mint though.

(Annoyingly, as OneDrive would actually be useful for one of our customers).

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This gun says you ain’t leaving until my PC is fixed

phuzz
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At my old job the accounts department would always make sure I was included whenever someone brought cakes/chocolate/biscuits etc. in. Consequently they tended to be near the top of the fix priority list, just after the MD.

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Apparently we have to give customers the warm fuzzies ... How the heck do we do that?

phuzz
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Facepalm

Re: UX not CX

We might as well call out two companies right now; both Dell and HP have pretty terrible websites. Not only is the information that you want ("show me the latest drivers for this machine, with download links") buried as deeply as possible, but both websites (from manufacturers of servers that between them probably run half the world's websites) are dog slow.

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'Here are 400,000 smut sites. Block them' says Pakistani telco regulator

phuzz
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Trollface

Those poor Pakistani teenagers are going to have to go back to looking under railway bridges again.

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Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

phuzz
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500Gbps DDoS attack flattens world record

phuzz
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Re: Wowsa.

Well, the computer you're using now probably has a 1Gbps ethernet port, and unless you have a fast harddrive, you'll probably struggle to saturate that connection.

So, not only would you have to have enough aggregate bandwidth across your network switches, servers and other networking gear, you'd also need the processing capacity to deal with that much data so quickly (even if you're just dropping the traffic). So yes, that's a big amount of data to deal with.

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Docker for OS X devs: 'Easier' containers spun up for Apple Macs

phuzz
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Re: bash != shell

People like you are why I always use nano.

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Fretful Amazon wishes it could get more Android action

phuzz
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Facepalm

My brother bought himself a Fire tablet because it was cheap. He was pretty much ready to throw it away until I managed to get Google Play installed on it so he could actually do something useful with it.

So, Amazon are more interested in spamming their corporate name everywhere rather than making products that consumers want, what else is new?

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Come on kids, let's go play in the abandoned nuclear power station

phuzz
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Boffin

Re: Steel Fuel Tubes

I'm not sure what level a 'major' in physics is, but even by degree level in the UK we're not taught reactor designs presumably for two reasons; partly it's because reactor design is engineering, and mainly because nuclear reactors are only one very small part of the entire field of physics.

You'd be expected to understand the basics of nuclear fission but only as a jumping off point for discussions about binding energy and suchlike.

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phuzz
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Joke

Re: "cork used to prevent the ingress of radioactive material"

You share the cork with a friend or family member...

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Police Scotland will have direct access to disabled parking badge database

phuzz
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Pirate

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a disabled parking permit is a good guy with a disabled parking permit.

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Four Boys' Own style World War Two heroes to fire your imagination

phuzz
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Re: Some great ones in the recent le Carré biog

In order to get imprisoned in Colditz you had to be something of a badass already, it was the camp for high value prisons, and those who kept escaping from other PoW camps.

For example, there's Douglas Bader, who joined the RAF in the 30's, but crashed doing aerobatics and had to have both legs amputated. Now for most people, losing both legs would slow them down, but not Bader. As soon as he had tin legs attached he tried to get straight back in a cockpit, the RAF were having none of it, but when WWII started they allowed him back.

He flew a Spitfire in the Battle of France, and then the Battle of Britain, becoming a Squadron Leader, and later to Wing Commander in the process.

He was eventually shot down over France in 1941, however, one of his prosthetic legs got stuck as he tried to bail out, so he had to leave it behind. However, he was so well known, that the Germans actually arranged with the RAF to have a replacement leg parachuted in.

So, in a hospital in France, and now with both of his fake legs back, Bader manages to climb down a rope made of sheets (with no legs remember) and escape, but was recaptured quite quickly (due to an informant, not his legs). He was sent to Stalag Luft III and escaped from there, so he was moved to Stalag Luft VIIIB where he made another escape attempt, and eventually the Germans moved him to Colditz with the other "bad boys".

(In effect what they did was create a 'dream team' of all the most escape focused officers in Germany, which explains why there was so many escape attempts from what was supposed to be the most secure PoW camp in Germany).

In Colditz he made a habit of winding up and disrupting the guards, he even convinced the camp authorities that he needed regular walks in the countryside (this wasn't considered necessary for the inmates with legs), which he used to bribe the locals with Red Cross chocolate swapped for other foods, which he would smuggle back into the camp inside his fake legs.

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BOFH: I want no memory of this pointless conversation. Alcohol please

phuzz
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Pint

Re: One can only wonder

Strictly speaking the 11am opening is just tradition held over from before the Licensing Act 2003, before that act pubs were restricted to opening between 11:00-23:00.

Of course the real reason is that people who work in pubs were up until well past 11pm last night because you were still sat there well after last orders had been called you insensitive bastard you, so they need the lie-in until 10.

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Five technologies you shouldn't bother looking out for in 2016

phuzz
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Re: 4G

I can't be the only person who has their phone set to "prefer 2G" the majority of the time can I?

Most of the time I'm in or near a building with wifi, and my phone isn't slurping down battery, what's not to like?

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RSA asks for plaintext Twitter passwords on conference reg page

phuzz
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Re: SoshelMeeja...

The world is already a swarm of blithering idiots, social media just allows you to see them more easily.

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Watch: SpaceX Dragon capsule breathes fire during crucial hover test

phuzz
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Facepalm

Re: Parachutes = Good.

You better tell SpaceX that their wasting their time with retro rockets then. I'm sure they'll appreciate hearing from a real rocket scientist.

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GCHQ spies quashed this phone encryption because it was too good against snoopers

phuzz
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Big Brother

Re: So GCHQ wants to help the terrorists and Russians?

To be fair, I'm sure there's a few employees at CESG banging their heads on the wall because this got forced on them from above.

It must be annoying when your job is providing secure communications to have your bosses tell you to push a deliberately insecure option.

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For fsck's SAKKE: GCHQ-built phone voice encryption has massive backdoor – researcher

phuzz
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Re: One!...More!!..TIME!!!...

CESG is *supposed* to be a separate wing of GCHQ, which advises the rest of the government (and industry) on computer security. They're linked because being close to the people who break security for a living should give one insights into what the opposition are capable of.

Perhaps it's about time CESG were spun out a bit further away from GCHQ, especially as they are presumably encouraging government departments to use MIKEY-SAKKE, which is counter-productive to say the least.

It doesn't make much difference for the rest of us as most people won't use any encryption, and if you are, why the hell would you use and encryption scheme promoted by a government?

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NASA books space shuttle delivery truck

phuzz
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Re: Hmm

(From here)

"The CAIB made the final conclusion that the foam-shedding incident on Columbia's takeoff affected panel 8 of the RCC heat-shielding, which was located on the orbiter's leading edge. That foam strike punctured a hole in the RCC panel roughly 16 inches (41 centimeters) by 16 inches. Analysts estimated that a hole as small as 10 inches (25 cm) across could have caused the orbiter to be destroyed on re-entry through Earth's atmosphere."

[...]

"From a re-entry standpoint, Columbia broke up very late, at a low altitude, roughly 30 to 35 miles (50 to 55 kilometers) above Earth, where heating had almost ceased. The breakup was primarily mechanical, due to localized heating that occurred earlier in the re-entry process."

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phuzz
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Re: BOR-4

Convergent evolution, see the work NASA did on the M2-F2 and the HL-10 in the 1960's. It turns out there's only so many ways you can design a lifting body and NASA and the Soviets both came up with something similar.

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phuzz
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Re: Cool!, looks just like the one that Steve Austin flew in The Six Million Dollar Man...

If you want an in-depth answer then you should read "The Lifting Body Story" by Dale Reed, but the short(ish) version is this:

During the 60's and 70's NASA was experimenting with lifting body aircraft. One of the designs was known as the M2-F2, and the footage of a crash of that one ended up as the start to the $6M man.

Another design was the Northrup HL-10 (as seen in this cool picture). Later the design was refined to produce the HL-20 and X-23, and although the HL-20 never flew, it's design was used for both Farscape 1 (fictionally), and Dream Chaser (in reality).

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El Reg mulls entering Robot Wars arena

phuzz
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I suppose bundling your opponent up in a roll of old carpet would count as immobilising them?

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SpaceX: launch, check. Landing? Needs work

phuzz
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Depending on how much they'd have to move the platform to support different launches, as a compromise between a barge and an island SpaceX could use an old oil-rig.

Also, "oil-rig lair" is appropriately Bond villain for Musk ;)

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Microsoft herds biz users to Windows 10 by denying support for Win 7 and 8 on new CPUs

phuzz
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Think of the engineers

The is another side to this that everyone seems to be missing. Imagine how happy the software engineers were, when they were told they'd only have to write and support drivers for Win10 and not half a dozen older OS's as well.

After all, Apple's control of their hardware, and consequent reduction in the different hardware they have to support is part of the reason for the success of OSX.

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LastPass in 2FA lock down after 'fessing up to phishing attack

phuzz
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Stop

Re: F**k LogMeIn

This wasn't a problem caused by logmein (as much fun as it is blaming them for everything). This is a problem brought about by keeping the password manager as a browser plugin.

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Evil OpenSSH servers can steal your private login keys to other systems – patch now

phuzz
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Facepalm

Re: Workaroud breaks putty

Ulp, ignore that, if you add "UseRoaming no" to sshd.conf (rather than ssh.conf) then you break SSH, and that is of course what I've done. (thank fsck for puppet still working and being able to fix my cockup)

Not that anyone else is going to be daft enough to make that mistake, right?

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