57 posts • joined 19 Feb 2010
the bragging rights ...
aren't bad, especially if she has the right sense of humour about it, although perhaps she would do better to avoid the topic of "what happened to my ex" while looking for a replacement.
Am I really the first to use a tombstone icon? (not used in the disgusted with el Reg sense)
Microsoft is becoming irrelevant on the web.
Fixed that for you..
Belive their own marketing hype
This is what happens to a company which starts believing in its own marketing and hype. Nokia, according to the analysts, was selling more smartphones than anyone else, so why change anything? A smartphone is a smartphone, right?
Except the source of the 'smartphone' definition is suspect. A smartphone is not a smartphone unless your marketing guys tell the analysts that it is, and it has a reasonable spec. If your marketing is good enough, the analysts will put underqualified phones (and that's what we're talking about, IMHO) in the most desired category, thus artificially inflating your 'market share' and pleasing the stock-holders.
But if you forget about this artificial inflation, there is great temptation to use it as an excuse to slack off on R&D, because (according to the analysts) you already own the market. Why innovate, it's expensive. And you get caught with your pants down, unable to innovate and compete effectively. Hmm, what does that remind me of??
Sorry Nokia, but I've switched loyalties to Android and no way will I ever stick a Windows anything in my pocket.
Why don't they call it the State Murder Weapon instead?? That way they could also introduce an official State Sniper Rifle, a State Concealed Handgun, or a State Hand Grenade. It would be easy for people to know and use the appropriate weapon for a particular situation.
I think what Sarah is trying to say is that el Reg publishes this type of story because of the quality and variety of the comments it can evoke from the commentards.
In other words, el Reg is trolling...
What kind of phone was it, and was it still functioning after going into the fountain? My bet is it was an iPhone...
The two stroke is also "suck squeeze bang blow", but usually suck and sqeeze are performed at the same time, and the blow is performed during the end of the bang. Also, the two stroke required more lubrication than the four stroke. Sometimes the blow, suck, and squeeze are combined in a single stroke (not quite sure how Paris manages this, there's probably a video on the subject somewhere on the internet)
I think I need to lie down for a bit...
Prehistoric Automobile Raced Indomitably Southward
do the Chewbacca and R2D2 tracks come with subtitles??
Beautiful and useless
Hmmm... 1000 nodes, 23 days, final (useless) answer is 0.
Shades of the classic Deep Thought supercomputer, 7,500,000 years, final (useless) answer is 42.
And the answers ARE useless.. I mean, how does one now go about specifying pi? After the first 2.7 trillion digits, does one write 1.9973 quadrillion 'x's and then a (binary) 0? Or what??
Better way to Czech for cops...
Here in the Czech Republic, some nice guys have set up a site called radary.cz It's stated purpose is to provide a public forum for drivers to let other drivers know of traffic jams, accidents, roadwork, and other driving hazards. Forums are by motorway number or by region for non-motorway roads. There is a wap interface, so almost anyone can check in, and updates can be made by SMS.
Almost all of the forum updates are of the form "D1 towards Prague marker 122km, bastards with radar in a green Octavia behind a tree". Saved me a few fines.
Big brother icon for obvious reasons...
Articles like this just beg for one of those stupid "I, for one, welcome our new giant hair-spitting Chilean tarantula overlords". I'm just glad I got to read the comments section before some idiot posted one...
finger hover data..
There is also some useful information obtainable by determining which finger is used to point at a certain advertisement or search result. Index finger = casual/normal use. Pinkie = for more detailed work, smaller ads. Ring finger = dimwit user. Middle finger = Microsoft or political ad.
I, and I think I speak for most Reg readers on this, would like to see a lot more high-res, detailed pictures of Paris's bare skin, shot from all angles and (preferably) in good light, although the light is a secondary consideration. If you could possibly get together a video covering the entire area of skin, that would be even better.
pinch of salt
Hit once - believeable.
Hit twice - possible, has to happen to someone.
Three times is pushing it, but perhaps telling the story to the neighbors over a beer or three in the pub (he's not buying) is worth the effort in making another hole in the roof.
Fourth time is still worth it for the insurance.
FIfth time - discovered how to milk this thing and now he's on nationwide TV. Also getting good at making the holes appear authentic, a little scorching around the edges does wonders.
Sixth time - In the international press at last. These people will believe anything, and now he can sell 'scientists' rocks as 'meteors' at high prices. WOnder if he's sold more than 6...
Can we get a money icon please??
Oh, come on El Reg,you're slipping...
We need more detail on this story. What kind of phone is it??
Can we have a boobs icon, please (or similar)? The Paris icon does not quite fit this story.
Sound recordings or it didn't happen*.
And may I with all due respect suggest that a Playmobile re-enactment would be in order at some point, complete with audio component...
Shouty icon to emphasize the recording level needed.
* Please, no pictures...
save 3 million??
The cost to the police of registering a handgun should be paid by the people who have handguns, as part of the registration fee. Creates a few jobs, keeps money flowing, and there is slight disincentive to own a gun.
Ms. Bee and the disease of the double-entendre
Perhaps Ms. Bee was thinking in non-angling terms for a few moments, and inadvertently (or even intentionally!!) thought of a double-entendre connected with a phrase in the article.
I guess we can only hope that readers of El Reg don't catch this awful habit from her. Even the staff could, if this type of thing goes unchecked, become habituated and eventually addicted.
re: Four Seats....
A paper airplane (Paris) doesn't need it's own seat, Lester can hold it on his lap*. I suggest the fourth seat goes to amanfrommars.
* Also, I don't think the paper plane would survive re-entry from orbit...
Use the right Icon
He should have used the joke icon. Then he'd be in the clear. What'd he use, the grenade? Silly fool...
Seriously, the punishment does not fit the crime in this case. He didn't send the threat to the airport, the police, an airline, or any other logical threat recipient. The threat was at most vague and (IMHO) stupidly humorous. He made no attempt to prepare to carry out any part of the threat, he didn't repeat the threat either. He's young and (I'm guessing here) socially active.
He should have been let off with a warning and a slap on the wrist.
I'd give this comment a thumbs up, but I agree with the comment that it is largely meaningless..
One would think she could and indeed should have noticed both the lack of a sidewalk and the speed of the cars. Given that she has a map in front of her, she could choose an alternate route if she was unhappy with the suitability of the road.
Regardless, I would hold the driver responsible for hitting a pedestrian. Last time I checked (admittedly, it has been a while), hitting pedestrians wasn't allowed, even if said pedestrian is intently following the directions on their phone...
I recognize it...
It's that one where they run around on the grass and try to kick the round thing. And when someone gets it into the rectangular frame with the net behind it, they go nuts. Why they don't just pick it up and run with it (or at least throw it), I have no idea...
clap and cheer...
"An Apple staffer was handing out bottles of water to iPad-less refugees. He said his hands were hurting from clapping and his voice hoarse from cheering - he'd been working since 6am."
So he is paid to clap and cheer? Uh huh. Hmmmm. To what purpose? Does the shop open earlier, or the queue move faster, or do people buy more iPads if there is a vocal and appreciative audience? Or do the fanbois/goils need some warming up on this special day? Do they not clap and cheer enough spontaneously to satisfy the media or Apples' collective ego?
It's sounding a bit like the Windows launch parties, a little too Potemkin village / Disneyland unreal for my liking...
Nothing against Jobs / Apple, just sick of hype manufacture. Let the products create the good feeling, not the marketers.
re: This cant be right.
Climate change was last year. I think this year it's the volcano in Iceland, and I think they're getting into plane crashes again (makes a change from oil spills).
The point is to keep the level of panic at a low simmer...
but swapping 375 pound batteries by hand on Earth (i.e. without the benefit of zero g) might be even slower...
Beam me up, Scotty
There's no intelligent life on this planet.
Uh, I think the Russians would have wanted to use the Russian word for President, and they probably got it right.
If you are still not convinced, say 'president' (in English) and pay attention to the sound corresponding to the 's' - it is a 'z' sound, not an 's'.
can't jump because...
that would be an interpreted command.
Linux jumps. Windows crashes...
Has to be said..
I, for one, welcome our new green overlord.
Yes, right, but...
you are right, bad things happen sometimes, police officers make mistakes in difficult situations, and someone has to bear the consequences.
That is not the problem. The problem here is that, statistically, police are sometimes at fault and need to be held responsible for their actions. There should be an investigation, and in case of police wrongdoing, an appropriate punishment meted out, perhaps a note in the officer's file or something.
1500 officers, 167 complaints over 3 years, and no actions is not a statistical anomaly, it means that either the investigation is not thorough or (more likely) the policeman is let off with a slap on the wrist and no record of the problem. In other words, there is no disincentive for the officer to not repeat his/her actions the next time. The complaints are, for all practical purposes, ignored... There is no real restraint on police action. For 95% of policemen, this is not a problem, they are honest and good people. But for the 5% who should not be policemen, they are not caught and remain on the force to the detriment of society.
But I'd make them do community service (cleaning up dog mess, unblocking sewers, etc...) for the total estimated hours of virus cleanup time they stole from other people. Say 1 hour per infected PC, that gives 22000 hours or about 10 years of 8 hours a day.
Jail time is a community expense, and won't teach them much of a lesson...
El Reg top ten
My vote goes to Ms. Bee...
"Il Silvestre has an green anarchist agenda, including opposition to all forms of micro-technology, nuclear technology and weapons."
IANA Italian green anarchist eco-terrorist, but IMHO a bomb is a weapon. Or am I missing something rather obvious here??? Perhaps it isn't a bomb if it's somehow on your side...
Hmmm.. Free beer in Business class, right? I bet they will search the aircraft business section very thoroughly after the flights....
I think you mean collecting tax...
You are testing it in Spain because of the Icelandic volcano ash?
Shouldn't this come under RoTM, given the potential for future abuse by the machines? Once this type of system becomes widespread, they can just tweak the results to maximize grogginess and minimize human alertness.
Shame on you for missing that. On a Friday too.. Have you been testing the software on yourself??
Think it through...
You want your wife to want it 10 times a day? every day? And how many of those are you willing and able to provide? Did you read the above comment on over-used bits?? Fancy some calluses in unlikely places
I'd prefer a kind of on/off switch...
Yahoo! - it's an expression of unbridled joy or elation. Notice the exclamation point, this emphasizes the feeling.
Or you could just look up what it means on Google...
"We think most of this mobile advertising really sucks" - I absolutely agree. Advertising sucks.
OT: Jailbroken iPhones handle multi-tasking just fine, it isn't a hardware problem but a limitation built-in to the GUI of the iPhone OS.
Paris. Ads. Suck. Nuf said.
Is the title still required?
I, for one, welcome our new comments system overlord.
got a bug in there
I'll just fix it for you:
} while (breathing)
The reviews look like they are copied (with probably deliberate errors) from marketing brochures. Taken a bite at a time (to avoid a vomit-on-the-keyboard accident)
"complimentary gift" - nobody uses this term excepting marketers.
"never been easier" - also a marketing term
"140 countries" - is reviewer suggesting he sends flowers to people in 140 countries??
"most comprehensive in the industry - marketing brochure
And their waffle in reply to your email - "We have no real control over what is written about us" - probably means that they have outsourced the review writing.
Couldn't get the Paris icon in, but the tombstone fits nicely...
Can we have a ZoTW, to go with the FoTW? Please??
This story is crying out for
pictures. Or at the very least a playmobil reconstruction...
I thought 'social penetration' meant something else entirely...
You are allowed to LIE on those websites?? Isn't that cheating??
- Updated Hidden network packet sniffer in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert
- Students hack Tesla Model S, make all its doors pop open IN MOTION
- RISE of the Jesus Phone MOUNTAIN: Apple orders 80 MILLION 'Air' iPhone 6s
- BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled
- PROOF the Apple iPhone 6 rumor mill hype-gasm has reached its logical conclusion