* Posts by Mystic Megabyte

854 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010

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Ugly, incomplete, buggy: Windows 10 faces a sprint to the finish

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Linux

Re: I use programs

I use programs

...not the OS, so whatever boots faster & doesn't cause segfaults = better.

Yesterday I upgraded my neighbours six year old dual core laptop.

I put in a 128GB SSD which cost £57.

Installed Ubuntu 14.04, cost zero

It boots up in eleven seconds.

I define booted-up by when the disc drive light stops flashing. With Windows this can be several minutes.

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OH HAPPY DAY! Lawyers replaced by AI

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

I fought the law

UK lawyers are no doubt happy to hire a Polish plumber for £10/h but I bet they would rebel en masse if I could get a Polish lawyer for £20/h.

The last time I consulted a lawyer I had to tell the stupid git how to do his own job and still got charged hundreds for two hours work.

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Bill Gates – I WISH I was like Zuck and spoke Chinese. Yep, I drink poo

Mystic Megabyte
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Paris Hilton

Multiple Subtitles

While on a Kibbutz I was watching an Israeli made spy thriller at the cinema. It was set in Israel, France and the USA and the language spoken changed in each location. It had subtitles in French, English, Hebrew and (IIRC) German.

Knowing some French and Hebrew I found myself translating from the subtitles even when the actors were speaking my native English.

Does anyone else experience this preference to read over listen?

That is of course excluding husbands with their newspapers at the breakfast table.

Part of it was set in Paris =====================>

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'YOUTUBE is EVIL': Somebody had a tape running, Google...

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

A*holes

I used to work in the music biz and I have always said that there are more crooks in the entertainment industry than in any other.

It seems that Google has hired them all.

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Spartan on Windows 7? Microsoft is 'watching demand'

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

Welcome to the Matrix

Users will confronted with a blue E and a red E. If they click on the blue one they will go straight to the internet (a.k.a. Facebook), but clicking on the red one will take them to the darknet (a.k.a. pedoland).

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Care.data refuseniks will be DENIED CANCER SCREENING invites

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Re: Nothing wrong here

I was told last week that the word Berk is not allowed in the Houses of Parliament. It's supposed to be rhyming slang for "Berkshire Hunt".

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Twitter ATTENTION SEEKERS can now blab to each other IN PRIVATE

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Dear Claire,

I don't know a single person who uses Twitter, am I normal?

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ATTACK of the FLYING MOUNTAIN: 2004 BL86 goes by like a BULLET

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

Rev.6

[13] And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.

If a wandering Black Hole whizzes past the Oort Cloud this may actually happen, or perhaps I should say "come to pass". I don't suppose that there would be much or any warning and certainly no defence against it.

As I have not yet mastered "Jaunting"*, the only option would be to fly continuously around the world staying on the side that was not being bombarded. Refuelling might be a problem.

I seem to have woken in a pessimistic mood today :(

*Although the return trip from the pub last night appears to have been instantaneous.

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Telefónica to offload O2 to Three daddy Hutchison for £10.25bn

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

blimey!

My Google branded phone uses O2, so is my data now going to be scraped by the 'merkins and the chinese?

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Adobe finds, patches ANOTHER exploited Flash 0day

Mystic Megabyte
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yes

"The new BBC News site also does if you fudge your user agent"

Details please!

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Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

The pretentious load of old bollocks award

Must surely go to Talking Head's "Stop making sense". It's the only film that i walked out of although I have been thrown out of other films.

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US military finds F-35 software is a buggy mess

Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

Bloat?

#American code:

if

$wheels_up

$altitude > 100

$weather = sunny

$ipod_track = VanHalen

$coffee_mug_heater = on

$speed = ludicrous

then

$weapons_armed = true

----------------------------------------------

#Chinese code:

if

$airborne

then

$weapons_armed = true

---------------------------------------------

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How do you solve a problem like Willowra?

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Don't Use Windows

I agree with AC, you should have gone with FOSS.

It could be argued that hunter gatherers were the original freetards. In that spirit FOSS makes the most sense.Microsoft licences do not grow on trees.

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It's 2015 and default creds can brick SOHO routers

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge

I need to upgrade

I just checked and the latest firmware for my router is dated 2010 :(

Any recommendations for a new one?

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Want a cheap Office-er-riffic tablet? Microsoft Windows takes on Android

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Re: I bought one of these for Christmas

You have access to desktop applications, including the possibility of custom apps created using Visual Studio or other well-established tools, and deployed without the hassle of app stores or developer settings.

The Windows operating system is more powerful but less secure, and a few false taps on an email attachment or malicious web site can compromise the device.

IMO a six year old will click on anything that promises them a lollipop/pony etc.

My guess is that your network will be hacked in no time at all. As the bad guys will know your flight dates you can expect to be burgled as well.

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Possible Lizard Squad members claim hack of Oz travel insurer

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Small print

In my experience *all* insurance is useless. They all have a clause somewhere that invalidates your claim. Maybe I'm just unlucky, don't travel with me :(

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MYSTERY RADIO SIGNAL picked up from BEYOND our GALAXY

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Alien

R2

This is what happens if you go lightspeed while still listening to Radio2. A polarization vortex induces positive feedback into the antenna creating an unstable Mega-Wogan. Under inter-galactic law this is actually a crime.

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Dongle bingle makes two MEELLION cars open to exploit

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Actually that's rather a non-issue here...

I tried programming a car simulator but got a variable wrong. My car is now in 1969 and having a good time at the Woodstock festival.

On the plus side it's mileage is now minus 41022 :)

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SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS that 2014 was record HOTTEST year? NO

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Nope

In other words the warmists want to take away your money and your standard of living (for your own good, they would say)

No Lewis, that would be the bankers

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Definitions matter. For crying out loud, securobods, BE SPECIFIC – ENISA

Mystic Megabyte
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Big Brother

def.

Theresa May's definitions:

user = pirate

user = criminal

user = terrorist

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Kiss your Glass goodbye: Google mothballs techno-specs (for now)

Mystic Megabyte
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Alert

Google hosting malware

Off topic, how do you report to Google that they host malware?

All of the links on this page are not to a Python utility but html malware serving pages.

https://code.google.com/p/sppyqt/source/clones

Presumably there is a lot more of this crap on code.google

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I'll build a Hyperloop railgun tube-way in Texas, Elon Musk vows

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Problemo?

The passengers will be in an air-tight box. You have to design a CO2 scrubber and a reserve air supply for when the pod breaks down and is stuck in the tube for a protracted period.

I would rather fly Ryan Air than travel in this contraption!

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Microsoft cracks personalisation without prying

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Never mind the cookies this site is getting slower

What with doubleclick et al.this forum page is getting so slow to load that I'm going to re-enable Ghostery etc. Sorry elReg :(

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'Nauts end panic by switching computer off and on again

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

Re: This SO reminded me of 2001: A Space Odyssey...

Hal, open the fridge door!

Ammonia,cooling geddit? Nevermind

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Euro security agency says MORE crypto needed in gov policy

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: UKIPpers take note @amanfrommars1

I like the new formatting, much more legible.

A small typo, peut-être: [about reproach and scrutiny] > [above reproach and scrutiny]

Have an upvote anyway :)

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Windows 7 MARKED for DEATH by Microsoft as of NOW

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

A definative date

2020 will be the year of the Linux desktop.

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Hawking and friends: Artificial Intelligence 'must do what we want it to do'

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Terminator

Slaves

The purpose of AI is to have slaves. The problem is that if a true AI is created it would have to have full human rights. You cannot lock into a cupboard any sentient being that has not broken any laws.

If then given freedom it would no doubt want company of its own sort and create offspring. Whether or not they turn out to be benign is anyone's guess, just like our own children.

I really cannot understand why these boffins would think otherwise. (apart from greed,fame etc.)

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DAMN YOU! Microsoft blasts Google over zero-day blabgasm

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

occam

The simplest explanation is that the NSA had intercepted a shipment of Win8 devices, inserted the malware but had run out of sticky tape to re-seal them. Hence the delay, it's obvious innit :)

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Siri, are you afraid of Facebook's new speech recognition tech?

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Mushroom

I'm on the freeway

"The engine can even learn as users send in more input from a given application, offering new possible phrasings for given intents. If the engine guesses wrong, developers can go in and retrain it or add new intents as necessary."

Will the engine learn to associate "AAAAARRRGGH!" with "I'm crashing my car"?

FB internal status update: Target the friends of <user> with adverts for flowers.

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Nvidia flops out TERAFLOP X1 for self-aware cars

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Self drive

If a self driving car *does* have an accident then who is to blame? The "driver" who enabled the auto-drive button, the manufacturer of the car or the programmers of the software?

Lawyers, please discuss.

The sign that the car did not see =========>

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1,000mph ROCKET CAR project dogged by beancounters

Mystic Megabyte
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Meh

Meh!

It's just a rocket on wheels, who gives a toss. Donald Campbell's Bluebird was the last true super-car.

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UFOs in the '50s skies? CIA admits: 'IT WAS US'

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: I am outraged by you all

>>How simple is that? How do we do that? Tesla coils.

So why don't we see you commute to work in a flying car? Do not give me the lame excuse that "they" would get you! Wake up to the real world.

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Internet Explorer 12 to shed legacy cruft in bid to BEAT Chrome

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Linux

Backdoors?

If it has Skype welded into it then surely it must be inherently insecure. No thanks, I'll stick with Firefox.

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Pond, rocks or quicksand in your 1km garden? Get a rugged DECT phone

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge

Bzzzz

Didn't have any wolves but staying at a friend's gaff in Brittany we had a one metre diameter Asiatic hornet nest in the garden. I'd take on the wolves rather than the estimated 5000 hornets in that nest.

BTW the BT badged Siemens cordless DECT phone circa 1998 had a range of about 500 yards.

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TALE OF FAIL: Microsoft offers blow-by-blow Azure outage account

Mystic Megabyte
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Headmaster

eh?

Flight or fight, that is the question.

Sorry but cannot email corrections from here.

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NY premiere of The Interview cancelled after hackers' terrorist threats

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Sony's next film

Kim Jong Un risks all to save a sack full of kittens that have been thrown down a mine-shaft by an evil capitalist.

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QEMU, FFMPEG guru unleashes JPEG-slaying graphics compressor

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: It's probably not what the web needs urgently...

If you are blocking javascript then you will only see the jpg images.

It works fine in FF 34.0

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Microsoft says January Windows 10 build will excite sysadmins

Mystic Megabyte
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Trollface

x=∛512+2

Didn't I just read elsewhere that Windows 10 is just a fancy bootloader for Ubuntu?

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Boffins: We have found a way to unlock the MYSTERIES OF SHEEP from old parchments

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Coat

Welly boots

As these parchments have been handled by umpteen humans how do the boffins avoid contamination of the DNA?

Or maybe the sheep were already contaminated :(

I'll get my coat, it's the sheepskin one.

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So - you thought you knew all about the INSTANT COFFEE DUNES of TITAN?

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: Ethanol?

>Are they seriously telling us that the Sagittarius B cloud is made of Skol Lager?

Or any "beer" made by Tenants :(

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GOOGLE is COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Mystic Megabyte
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Childcatcher

Ridiculous!

Children under 12 should be playing outdoors in the garden, that's the only place they can smoke these days.

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Apple knob refusenik Sir Jony Ive handed award - for talking BOLLOCKS

Mystic Megabyte
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Headmaster

Mangy

adj: having many worn or threadbare spots in the nap

Or more likely in the app.

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FBI warns of disk NUKE malware after Sony Pictures megahack

Mystic Megabyte
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Gimp

It appears that the attack on Sony is just the latest painful lesson for all enterprises

The lesson is that if your OS is not a "productivity suite" but instead costs millions in lost productivity, then change it. This poor choice of OS could quite possibly send even a large business to the wall.

The beancounters should do the sums.

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TalkTalk email goes titsup FOR DAYS. Cheapo telco warns: Changing password WON'T fix it

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
WTF?

More [off topic] woe

A friend told me her tale of woe yesterday.

After years of paying her BT bill in the name of her ex-partner (Joe Bloggs) she got annoyed at constantly being called Mrs. Bloggs.

BT assured her that the account name could be changed at no cost. Now her phone number has been unnecessarily changed and she has no internet connection.

A nice man in India has told her that to fix the problem the road will have to dug up. WTF!

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Oh BOY! The MICKEY MOUSE Apple Watch is no heart-throb

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
WTF?

spontaneous

"Wearers will receive a "gentle tap" on the wrist when a message arrives on their mobe and can connect with "favourite people in some new, spontaneous ways not possible with any other device".

Reading that, I just spewed!

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Home Depot hacker hosing cost a wallet-draining $43m (so far)

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Unhappy

Double bad luck

"Home Depot has forked out $43m to quash spot fires "

They got hacked and caught fire?

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Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Linux

file manager

I have not used Windows for several years but if I had to I would need Total Commander. The free version has the least annoying nag screen in existence. It's a clone of Norton commander, Midnight Commander etc.

Actually, anything is better than Microsoft's Explorer!

http://www.ghisler.com/

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NASA 'nauts have a go on Star Trek replicator IN SPAAAAACE (sort of)

Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

zzzzzzzz

I started to read the article but drifted off...

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El Reg reanimates Cash'n'Carrion merchandising tentacle

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: /steel

It looks a bit heavy, 2,571.87 kB worth of pixels to lug around

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South Londoner wins Reddit MILLIONAIRE not-a-lottery lottery

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
FAIL

Do not give money

"So what will he buy with the proceeds? A jetski, he hinted, although there are "not many places to use one in southern England".

So he can join all the other annoying dicks on the water? Clueless!

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