* Posts by Mystic Megabyte

1104 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010

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LinkedIn sinkin': $10bn gone in one day as shares plummet 40%

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

LinkedOut

In my world all Linkedin invites go straight to the spam folder.

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Reminder: iPhones commit suicide if you repair them on the cheap

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Advantages of a cheap phone

My Moto G cost £99

O2 wanted £5 p/m to insure it, so by not insuring it 20 months later I have saved £100

If I get mugged I will gladly hand it over, I'm not going to put up a fight for that. I can remotely delete all my data.

Last week at work an iPhone owner told me it would cost £150 to mend his phone, if my screen breaks I can just bin it and buy a new phone for that amount. I'm already £100 better off :)

It has a standard micro USB connector, I can plug it in to anything.

It does stuff* and makes phone calls quite nicely.

*diagnose my car with Torque

avoid ships with Marine Traffic

Sat Nav

photos

video

etc.

I genuinely feel sorry for iPhone users, even the bumpers have a hole to display the rather lame Apple logo. Just stop thinking that they're somehow cool, it's an illusion.

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Roll up, roll up to the Malware Museum! Run classic DOS viruses in your web browser

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Music virus

In all my computing years the only data loss* I've had was from the "Music virus". I got it from a dodgy copy of "The Prince of Persia" which was running on a 286. Sure enough it played a tune while deleting the FAT :(

I've gone all Linux now so apart from Flash I should be safe. When the BBC finally stop using Flash it will be removed immediately.

*AFAIR nothing important was lost

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Google Search head: I'm off. Yes, I told you yesterday. On Google+

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Stop hanging around

I disabled Hangouts on my phone but it keeps trying to work. Now I repeatedly get "Unfortunately Hangouts has stopped" messages while I'm in the middle of trying to make a call.

I have no idea what it's supposed to be used for, maybe I should Google it :)

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Sure, encrypt your email – while your shiny IoT toothbrush spies on you

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: The problem is that cloud services are allowed for such things

Unless your fridge is setting it's clock from the internet.

http://arstechnica.co.uk/security/2016/02/using-ipv6-with-linux-youve-likely-been-visited-by-shodan-and-other-scanners/

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Come on kids, let's go play in the abandoned nuclear power station

Mystic Megabyte
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Pussy

I knew some folk near Sellafield who had a cat called Fallout. It amused them to call it from the window and freak out the neighbours :)

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BOFH: I want no memory of this pointless conversation. Alcohol please

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

Damn!

Due to interruptions, misinformation and other reasons I only just started updating the workstations on a boat. (The charts) I've never done this before and did not realise how slow it would be,. 6 x 20 minutes and it won't finish until 5pm. Whoever wrote this software was mad, it says "updating xxx of yyy" but yyy keeps increasing :(

Need beer!

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The planets really will be in alignment for the next month

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: But...

It's a shame that a mass breakout of peace does not seem to be happening

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Spoilsport scientists unstick Spider-Man

Mystic Megabyte
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pah!

I have completely stopped elephants from climbing onto my roof by rubbing the walls with lard.

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Tell us what's wrong with the DMCA, says US Copyright office

Mystic Megabyte
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Flame

Irdeto USA

Like these arseholes who think that they own Ubuntu

http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=2307331&page=2&p=13411486#post13411486

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Lovelace at 200: Celebrating the High Priestess to Babbage's machines

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

A toast to Ada

More women with pipes needed! SFW

https://drinkingviv.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/mutine.jpg

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ISPs: UK.gov should pay full costs of Snooper's Charter hardware

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

A big red button

You may think that this is far-fetched but bear with me.

1. Get everybody's data

2. The U.K. either gets invaded or capitulates to a superior force or a mad General stages a coup.

3. Stage 2 might have already happened. (search for "Blair Poodle")

4. Imagine if the Stasi or Gestapo had that sort of power.

5. Everybody's fucked.

So where is the big red button that will delete all of this data in an emergency?

(think: big nuke under GCHQ)

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HPE's London boozer dubbed the 'Hewlett You Inn?'

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Sign vers.001

The central motif of the pub's sign could be a foot wedged in a door, flanked by rampant crocodiles.

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Obama: What will solve America's gun problem? What could it be? *snaps fingers* Technology!

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

43 instances this year of somebody being shot by a toddler 3 or younger

A coded gun would prevent this. Unfortunately the paranoid NRA supporters will no doubt get their way.

I too have no intention to ever visit the USA, too many nutters with guns!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/people-being-shot-by-toddlers-on-a-weekly-basis-in-the-us-a6694386.html

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Researcher criticises 'weak' crypto in Internet of Things alarm system

Mystic Megabyte
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Pirate

@Captaindaft

> and Mr. Smooth Criminal loots your house at leisure.

Some years ago a friend returned to her London house just as a man in a suit was climbing down the drainpipe! Mr. Smooth Criminal was a professional cat-burglar who obviously only stole pocketable items. He also avoided the heavily locked front door by not using it. the. The suit was a neat way to blend in, the police are looking for hoodies carrying a TV.

Rather than risk getting attacked she let him walk away, I don't think that he was caught.

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BBC News website takes New Year's Eve break

Mystic Megabyte
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Terminator

Weather or not

Does this mean that there will be no weather today? From where I'm sitting it's just grey in every direction and an unusual lack of wind. Maybe this is the Matrix's default setting.

Happy New Year everyone :)

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An on-demand video subscription isn't just for Christmas... Oh. It is

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

Catchup TV

I need to catchup, the last time I rented a film* was on VHS from Blockbusters in London. Even they had a small foreign film section. I've looked at Netflix and Love Film but they seem to have a load of crappy stuff of no interest to me.

*FWIW it was "The Legend of the Holy Drinker", I would watch it again.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095513/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Recommended viewing for laughs, "Black Cat White Cat"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118843/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Happy Christmas everyone :)

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Philips backs down over firmware that adds DRM to light

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Hysterical note

Many years ago my sister worked as a secretary at Philips light bulb division in London. They received a letter from a woman* who was outraged that her neighbours had fitted a red light in their porch and demanded that Philips withdrew the sale of such bulbs.

*a Mrs Trellis perhaps

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Windows 10 market share growth rate flattens again

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Re: 2016!

In South Africa it already is the year of the Linux Desktop.

>All the local schools here use ubuntu

http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=2304824&highlight=oem

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Can't get a break: Pwned Linux ransomware pwned again, infects 3000

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Reader's digest

Over on Ars it seems that the Reader's Digest site is dishing out CryptoWall 3.0

http://arstechnica.co.uk/security/2015/12/hey-readers-digest-your-site-has-been-attacking-visitors-for-days/

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Team America, world police, take down 37,479 counterfeit sites

Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

Re: F off world police

>Great, where am I supposed to buy my "counterfeit" goods now?

Go to theregister.it where upvotes win meds!

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Outsourcer didn't press ON switch, so Reg reader flew 15 hours to do the job

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

Milan

I was sent from London to Milan for the day to cable and configure some modems. When I got back to Milan airport the Customs went on strike for a couple of hours. I sat in the bar being paid an hourly rate of £mucho and was very happy :)

P.S. When they resumed working, the custom guys queried the pin hammer and Stanley knife in my carry-on toolbox. I said that it was impossible to do any damage with those. Been proved wrong there.

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Who owns space? Looking at the US asteroid-mining act

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Yippee!

So it looks like the plot of land on the Moon that I bought will be worth $$$$$$$$$$!

</sarc>

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Sneaky Microsoft renamed its data slurper before sticking it back in Windows 10

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

I'm off to Change.org

It's time that everyone should be writing to their MPs and explaining in (very) simple terms how this behaviour is unacceptable. Microsoft should not be allowed to have a pre-paid installation on non-Microsoft branded computers. When booting up a new device give a choice of buying Windows for £100 or Linux for £0. It would not be so bad if you could actually get a refund of the Windows Tax. How the hell have they got away with this so long?

In the meantime I'm truly sorry for those of you who will have to support this odious OS.

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Nest defends web CCTV Cam amid unstoppable 24/7 surveillance fears

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Nest Eggs

This is one Cuckoo that you'll have to feed forever!

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Blocking out the Sun won't fix climate change – but it could buy us time

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Sea rise

Here in the far North of Scotland I've been walking various dogs around the same bay for over 20 years. I did the same thing yesterday. Fence posts that were 2mtr. inland are now hanging in the air. This area of land is supposed to be rising do to post-glacial rebound so this erosion is not a good sign.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-glacial_rebound

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EU's Paris terror response includes 'virtual currencies' crimp

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

A sort of AirBnB for bad guys?

Join up the databases so that criminals can plan their vacation to another country. You only need a few bent cops with access to make this happen :(

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BT rebuked for attributing some EE acquisition costs to 'all UK lines of business'

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Sport

No doubt that the increased cost of phone calls is due to BT's sporting content of which I have no interest in. BT is not my ISP, whichever one I choose still has to pay BT Wholesale.

What a scam!

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US Congress grants leftpondians the right to own asteroid booty

Mystic Megabyte
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Pirate

"Has anybody *not* armed their spaceship?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR9N3NOutaQ

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Get an Apple Watch or die warns Tim Cook

Mystic Megabyte
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Facepalm

Re: We live, We die

Same here, no rings either.

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DC judge rips into the NSA over mass surveillance

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: and in other news...

I was wondering about that. If you take the oath and are asked directly "Does your system have a backdoor?", then who is the higher authority? Is it God or the government? If you are an earnest believer then maybe being "put to the sword" means being stabbed in the back by the judiciary.

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How Microsoft will cram Windows 10 even harder down your PC's throat early next year

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

@Cynic999

In Ubuntu go to Settings>Security & Privacy, click on the "Search" tab and switch ""Include online search results" to "Off". That's it!

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Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Re: NO! It doesn't start faster!!!

I upgraded my neighbours old dual core laptop with a SSD. Now it boots to the desktop (with no drive activity light showing) in 12 seconds. Of course it's running Ubuntu 14.04! I deleted Windows XP when the machine was new, it was too insecure for clueless users. My neighbours are just about capable of copy/paste but I've had hardly any support calls from them.

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We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

Mystic Megabyte
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Washing machine

Out of interest did anyone buy a Dyson washing machine? I remember seeing the adverts some years ago but I've never seen one in the wild.

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Trio nailed in US for smuggling $30m of microchips into Russia

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

On the plus side

Now in Russia if you jump a red light the radar guided laser beams will take you out.

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Court to Wikimedia: Your NSA spying evidence is inadmissable, so you can't prove NSA spying

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

M'lud,

Is it now the case that the documents released by Mr. Snowden are in fact false?

If so he must be innocent of any perceived crime.

</Rumpole voice>

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Google's YouTube Red deal: Sign, or we'll make you disappear

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Pay per view?

There is no way that I will pay a monthly fee but I do have a solution. If the artist is paid $0.0001 per view then I'm willing to pay $0.0003 to watch it. Maybe.

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'10-second' theoretical hack could jog Fitbits into malware-spreading mode

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Bah!

A better hack would be one that gives joggers a large electric shock or teleports them to the Gobi desert. Preferably both! (Annoyed at joggers running three abreast on narrow paths, making me get out of the way)

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So just what is the third Great Invention of all time?

Mystic Megabyte
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Sanitation

Was the answer given by doctors. You would all die of disease before inventing anything else if you don't get rid of the human waste that surrounds your village.

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Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

Mystic Megabyte
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My turn, top tip:

To start with I recommend reading "The poor mouth" by Flan O'Brien. It's very funny. Being written in the Gaelic you have to refer to the footnotes for various translations. In the book the children have to speak English but they only know how to say their name. When asked they all say, "James O'Donnell, Sor". What the teacher does not know is that Sor is "louse" in Gaelic. I have used this "mispronunciation" when dealing with obnoxious officials.

Also why can you be disgruntled but not overgruntled?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flan_O'Brien

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Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Insults

The best mental image that I heard was in Australia where they say, " He's got Kangaroos in his top paddock".

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Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Spoon

A friend's three year old had picked up on, "Have you got your rucksack?". When it became time to go to the beach she said, "Let's ruck off!" :)

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Google, Facebook, Microsoft and buddies stick a bomb under hated CISA cyber-law

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Dear Google,

I'm UK based and use Gmail, Google docs etc. I also have a Moto G which is synced to all your services. Fairly soon I will be migrating away from you and your products. At the moment I don't have anything to hide but perhaps in the future I may want to support someone who the USA government is not happy with. For example, if Donald Trump* ever became president** that would be any organisation that is critical of him.

As we know, technology is not infallible and cases of mistaken identity have occurred. I do not want to be extradited and sentenced to life without parole which seems mandatory for anyone who rocks the boat.

Good luck and thanks for all the handy searches,

MM

* for the first time in my life I would like to say, "cockwomble". Ooh! I feel so much better now :)

** that would probably indicate that the end of the world is nigh.

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Kidnapped IT bod Peter Moore: My journey to Iraq began in Guyana

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Been back home recently?

"Apparently I needed to purchase airport departure tax, something that is actually very common in countries outside of Western civilisation."

You mean Norwich Airport? You have to pay £10 to leave!

http://www.norwichairport.co.uk/content.asp?pid=92

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Slacker vendors' one-fix-a-year effort leaves 88% of Androids vulnerable

Mystic Megabyte
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Moto G

My sim only 1st. gen Moto G got an update two days ago. The updater mentioned a fix for stagefright. It's now on Android 5.1. (It was vers. 5.0 before the update) According to the Motorola UK site it will remain on Lolipop. For £99 I do not even bother to insure this phone, next year something better at the same price will come along.

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Microsoft now awfully pushy with Windows 10 on Win 7, 8 PCs – Reg readers hit back

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

My upgrade path

MSDOS 2.x

MSDOS 3.x

Win 95

Win 98

Win 98 SE

XP <======== the best version of Windows!

Kubuntu <===== jumped ship before the abomination that was Vista

Ubuntu + any derivative that works for particular hardware, i.e. Xubuntu on my Toshiba NB100 netbook.

FYI, I just installed Linux Mint 17 on a Samsung NP-N130 netbook (Intel Atom, 1GB RAM) and everything worked immediately. OK it's a bit slow loading applications but it's usable. Most likely it's working at the same speed as XP did.

Bonus FYI :)

My elderly HP laptop's screen and keyboard were dying so I bought an identical model for £60 and just swapped the HDD over and carried on as normal. No activation keys in Linux land. Try doing that on your Windows box!

Did I mention that there are no activation keys? I'm not being overly smug, just relieved to not have that major hassle again.

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Top boffin Freeman Dyson on climate change, interstellar travel, fusion, and more

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Re: Bob Forward? Try Larry Niven

"The main point is to leave the energy source behind; don't carry it on the ship."

"And you could get up to half the speed of light"

How are you supposed to slow down? "Ooh look a habitable planet ahead!" In space nobody can hear you whoosh by!

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PHONE me if you feel DIRTY: Yanks and 'Nadians wave bye-bye to magstripe

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Doors

The hotel that I stayed at last week issued me with a mag. key card. I was told to swipe it with the arrow pointing upwards as they had all been misprinted. Easy to do when sober......

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A thousand mile Atom merci mission: Driving from Monaco to London in an open-topped motor

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

bollocks!

You are just a bunch of wimps! I've driven from London to Haifa in an open topped 2CV. The biggest bonus is that it's the only car that you can get the tyre off with a motorbike tyre lever. (Many patches on all tubes, time for each repair: about an hour) Try doing that in your fancy pussy wagon!

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HP creates laptop for SITH LORDS

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Re: KB3035583 yet again

@Aurelian2 You're a little late to the party but welcome anyway. Windows sold out their customers with Vista and it's DRM hobbling. When they catered to Hollywood and not the user/owner of the OS it was time to move on. My last Windows OS was XP and I have not needed to boot it in a VM for a couple of years now.

I'm currently on Ubuntu but I would have no problem switching to Mint, KDE or any of the other flavours if I fancied a change. I love Xubuntu on low powered netbooks, you can buy one second hand for peanuts. Slap in a SSD and it will fly and run almost silently.

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