* Posts by Mystic Megabyte

1279 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010

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Make Christmas Great Again: $149 24-karat gold* Trump tree ornament

Mystic Megabyte
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Pirate

Hostile takeover of the USA by Trump Org.

I just saw this, it seems that Putin's plan has worked.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-latest-oath-president-us-norman-eisen-ethics-law-white-house-ivanka-a7436586.html

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'Data saturation' helped to crash the Schiaparelli Mars probe

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Sci-Fi Story

Not "Ding Ding!" but "DingDong!" :)

http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/2478323/amazon-echo-and-google-home-get-take-on-from-bejing-ling-long-ding-dong

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Microsoft's nerd goggles will run on a toaster

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Toasters

That reminds me of one of my best hacks. I converted an American 110V toaster to 220V by re-wiring the four heater panels from all being parallel to series-parallel. Muffin?

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Obama awards honours to Grace Hopper, Margaret Hamilton for computing contributions

Mystic Megabyte
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Headmaster

Typo

"during here NASA work"

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Who's in Peter's file? Moneybags Thiel hits up Silicon Valley brains to join his Trump think tank

Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

muppet?

I heard that Thiel had a personality transplant, unfortunately the personality rejected him.

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Donald Trump confirms TPP to be dumped, visa program probed

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: YES!

Trump is full of bullshit and will only enrich his family at your expense. This photo says it all:

https://www.indy100.com/article/donald-trump-family-cbs-interview-gold-thrones-elite-all-americans-man-of-the-people-7416171?utm_source=indy&utm_medium=top5&utm_campaign=i100

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Facebook Fake News won it for Trump? That's a Zombie theory

Mystic Megabyte
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Lies

Which is why we should prosecute those people who lie when campaigning. Boris, Nigel, I'm looking at you.

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Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: Does democracy work if people based their vote on lies^Wpost-facts?@JohnHWoods

I very nearly posted the same as you but then realised that in my local pub *all* the leavers have racist opinions. Sad but true, I am at a loss to feel happy about any part of this meltdown of society :(

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

@Slef

"With his nose stuffed up Trumps arse"

Almost correct but as Trump is a complete arsehole then I think you'll find Farage's entire head up there. urgh!

Go here and click back three cartoons to the pussy grab, classic! (can't find a way to have a direct link)

http://www.independent.co.uk/#gallery

Need a "I'm going to spew icon" :(

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Virgin Galactic and Boom unveil Concorde 2.0 tester to restart supersonic travel

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

whoop!

I will always fly Boom, my next car is a Crash and I'd like an Exploding toaster.

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Security bods find Android phoning home. Home being China

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: I don't see espionage

"or slightly more disturbingly "show me pictures of Percy" and see pictures of my black moggy."

I searched for photos of Percy and got *very* different result! :)

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Angry user demands three site visits to fix email address typos

Mystic Megabyte
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Facepalm

Re: Nightmare!

A primary school teacher asked me if electricity went uphill.

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A cardboard desk? I won’t stand for it (actually I will)

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

@allthecool

Like when I got some gadget and being a smug git just powered it up. Afterwards, when reading the f***ing manual I noticed that it said "DO NOT SWITCH ON BEFORE DOING THIS..." Ooops!

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Trump's plan: Tariffs on electronics, ban on skilled tech migrants, turn off the internet

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Arrgh!

The biggest problem that I have is that I will have to listen to his bullshit and gaze upon his ugly face for years to come. Did I mention that I really dislike the f*g b*d?

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Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Arsehole magnet

Yesterday I see that Farage wants a job in the Arsehole's administration.

https://www.rt.com/uk/365827-farage-job-trump-president/

To celebrate Arsehole's win I have ordered a 112lb gold plated anvil from Acme, that well know Usian manufacturer. I have specified that it must be delivered to Mr. Arsehole by drone. They are doing a special deal if any one else wants to buy one :)

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Ireland to fight against billing Apple for back-taxes

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: unlikely bluster now possible.

Yes and he also said that he would reduce the tax to 10%. I wonder if we will soon see a Putin powered Trump tower in Moscow, them being chums an'all.

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Toblerone's Brexit trim should be applied to bloatware

Mystic Megabyte
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Major Bloat

Problem: To move contacts from old Nokia 3310 to a Nokia 6210

Install Nokia Smart Suite on XP, installation size ~5GB.

The utility fails to work.

Solution: Install gammu on Ubuntu, installation size 569kB.

It's a one line command to backup and restore contacts.

Bonus Solution: I've stopped using Windows for anything!

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Leaked paper suggests EM Drive tested by NASA actually works

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

@frank ly

"One theory is that protons fired around the nozzle are providing thrust, ..."

AFAIK it does not have a nozzle, only two metal plates of different sizes.

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Brexit judgment could be hit for six by those crazy Supreme Court judges, says barrister

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: No getting the dogshit of xenophobia off your shoes @smartypants

Thank you for eloquently saying exactly what I had thought about this total balls up.

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Juno probe has tech trouble, cancels orbital re-adjustment

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: "...so it could concentrate..."

>> it is standard practice in such a situation to shut down anything that is not essential

So much like a Volvo driver changing direction :(

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Forget malware, crooks are cracking ATMs the old-fashioned way – with explosives

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Bang!

My Czech friends told me a "funny" story. There was a party at an architects modern, mostly glass, house. The house plan was U shaped with the open part of the U facing a downhill slope. Some idiot had purloined a military thunderflash, unfortunately it was the type that simulates a shell exploding. The numpty armed it (I don't know how you actuate these things) and rolled it down the sloping lawn. BOOM! There was no more glass in any of the windows. Party over :(

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Like it or not, here are ALL your October Microsoft patches

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Re: Windows 7 Updates 12 hour window of opportunity.

>>What is the unsophisticated home user expected to do, in this "brave new world" of Microsoft?

The only sensible option is to install Linux Mint. Because of it's inbuilt insecurity, Microsoft is finished.

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Pocket C.H.I.P. makers go Pro with cloud-linked ARM-flexing module for IoT gizmo builders

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: Neat idea. Trade cost for convenience. Of course

The "Most Read" article directly across the page from your comment is; Internet of Things botnets: You ain't seen nothing yet.

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Robots blamed for wiping 10 per cent off the value of sterling

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

The UK is finished :(

Now that the Tory party has become UKIP it has confirmed my belief that Teresa May is a swivel eyed loon.

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The shoemaker, the array refresh and the VMworld smackdown

Mystic Megabyte
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Coat

The shoemaker, the array refresh

I read that as the shoe fetish. Mines the PVC mac.

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Police raid India call centre, detain 500 in fraud probe

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

bad

In the UK a couple of years back I got a call from an real Englishwoman who said that she was from the Inland Revenue. She wanted "for security reasons" my date of birth. I replied that I only responded to letters. She then said that she would have to note that I had refused to answer. I said that was OK by me and hung up.

These people should be severely punished.

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Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: Bah!

>>no effort to edicate

Neither have you!

P.S. have you seen the video where molten steel is pouring out of the corner of the tower?

http://www.ae911truth.org/

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My Nest smoke alarm was great … right up to the point it went nuts

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Why would anyone have thought IoT was a good thing?

>>I think the bleeding edge tends to be the biggest risk; think headlights that steer around corners.

Yes it's 1967 again!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citro%C3%ABn_DS#Series_3_-_Nose_redesign_in_1967_with_Directional_headlights

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Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Re: Call me old fashioned

I learned a new thing on a fire course. When approaching a blazing chip pan on the stove hold the fire blanket with your palms facing you, fingers up. The blanket should be draped forward protecting your hands from the heat. Hold the blanket up high enough to shield your head and navigate to the stove by looking down at your feet until you see the base of the stove. Then drop the blanket over the pan. All this sounds obvious when you think about it but I bet that most people would panic and get burned.

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When Pornhub meets the Internet of Fridges

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

True!

I actually had freezer instructions that told me how to avoid "Freezer bum".

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Should Computer Misuse Act offences committed in UK be prosecuted in UK?

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Take (NOT) back control

Well said, have an upvote.

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Ericsson’s patent pool is far from the new start the IoT needs

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Do you remember ....

My patented internet connected wheelbarrow will be launching soon on Kickstarter.

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Criticize Donald Trump, get your site smashed offline from Russia

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

What an shallow fool!

There must be some way to eliminate DT from the presidential race on the grounds that he is not mentally competent for the job. Putin must be laughing his head off, he'd love DT to be president. He could twist DT around his fingers by just using flattery and taking him to swanky places.

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User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

A whiter shade of pale?

Got called back to a small office system we had supplied. "We can't see anything!", they cried. Well selecting a theme of white text on a white background may be the reason. "We did not do that!", they cried as I exited.

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Termination fees for terminated people now against the law

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Greed

Well there you have it! In the first four posts, all you need to know about greedy USAian corporations.

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BT tops Ofcom's broadband whinge list

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: Ofcom = useless

>>The problem (and it is Ofcom's job to address it) is they are all reselling product from the BT Openreach monopoly.

Tell me about it, my local exchange will always be in thrall to BT :(

When we were on 512kb/s BT did not inform either it's customers or my ISP that the exchange had been upgraded to ADSL+. The reason was that they charged more for the lower speed package! How can you have trust in a firm like that? (+Phorm!!)

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Ordinary punters will get squat from smart meters, reckons report

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Can you switcj on/off via the keypad?

In Scotland, modern (non-smart) LCD meters have a built-in switch. There is a little white screwdriver slot on the front panel. It's very handy for upgrading the CU.

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Elon Musk: I'm gonna turn Mars into a $10bn death-dealing interplanetary gas station

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

42?

"including a re-usable booster powered by 42 of its new Raptor engines."

I'm sure I recently saw an article that showed how the Russian multi-engined (30?) rockets were a failure.

There were too many points of failure and one engine exploding damages the adjacent ones.

Apparently that's why they never got men on the moon.

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Forgive me, father, for I have used an ad-blocker on news websites...

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Tide Times UK

I use EasyTide, bookmarked to show 2 days at my location.

http://www.ukho.gov.uk/easytide/EasyTide/index.aspx

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I want to remotely disable Londoners' cars, says Met's top cop

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

tanks for the memories

Wandering down a country lane in Switzerland you may notice some strange metal triangles in the road. Looking ahead you may well see a traditional style barn. The triangles are a tank trap, the barn is a concrete fake with a big cannon pointed directly at the tank trap. I think that they were expecting the Russians.

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Microsoft deletes Windows 10 nagware from Windows 7 and 8

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Win 8 rant

Try this simple test of usability...

Linux Mint: Press the Winkey and start typing "update", it will take you to the software update utility. The utility will tell you what each update will do.

Windows 8: Do whatever you like, you won't find the update utility! Resort to Google, then find that the update utility just says "1.2 GB to download", won't tell you any other information and then also fails to download anything.

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Will US border officials demand social network handles from visitors?

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Nope!

No intention of going to a place where the cops can take all your money with no way to get it back. They won't even reveal how much they have nabbed.

http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2016/09/nypd-cant-count-cash-theyve-seized-because-it-would-crash-computers/

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Trump website server config snafu left interns' CVs exposed

Mystic Megabyte
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Divide and conquer

We just had the same crap in the UK. The ones that wanted to leave the EU spread FUD, mostly about immigration. From speaking to people in the pub ISTM that just about all the "Leave" voters are racists.

Putin must be happy knowing that Europe is weakened.

Now your Mr. Trump is doing the same thing, spreading FUD and relying on peoples paranoia. I don't know much about H. Clinton but she does have political experience.

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Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

@Big John and Steve124

You are both clever guys but you seem to have been fooled by the bullshit that Trumps talks. The man is an obnoxious arsehole, I would not buy a second-hand car from him.

For an insight to right-pondian views please look at the 9th. Sept. (4 of 68) cartoon at the following link. The cowering critter is Trump's toupee :)

http://www.independent.co.uk/#gallery

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MoD confirms award of giant frikkin' laser cannon contract

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Sea spray!

What f***ing use is this system on a ship? Are you going to send a sailor down to wipe the glass clean? You might need more sailors and a big supply of chamois leathers.

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BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

Mystic Megabyte
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Gimp

ergh!

Had clients that who denied changing the theme to white text on a white background.

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Alleged hacker Lauri Love loses extradition case. Judge: Suicide safeguards in place

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

This has to stop!

If convicted here he would most likely get 6 years.

If convicted in the USA he would get 60 years.

It cannot make sense to destroy someone's life for a foolish endeavour where nobody got hurt.

This country has been in thrall to the USA for too long, unfortunately no-one has the balls to tell them to f-off.

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Ransomware scum infect Comic Relief server: Internal systems taken down

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: Nothing funny about comic relief.

Charities these days are a sham.

Ask the folk on the yacht we rescued in a storm 10. I'm just a volunteer who gives my time :(

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Songsmiths sue US antitrust over Google-friendly rules ruling

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Uh Oh!

If you think of the USA as being the last bastion of decency then we are all borked. The greedy bastards have grabbed everything :( They don't realise that it will all fall apart pretty soon. Bunker prices are going up!

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End all the 'up to' broadband speed bull. Release proper data – LGA

Mystic Megabyte
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Incentive

Why not use the speed as the rental cost. Say the ISP states "Up to 100 mbs" for £X p.m. then if I can only get 10 mbs I only have to pay £X/10 p.m. That might spur them to improve their services.

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