* Posts by Mystic Megabyte

925 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010

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Windows 10 Device Guard: Microsoft's effort to keep malware off PCs

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

Turtles all the way down

"Device Guard itself runs in its own pocket of memory with its own minimal instance of Windows"

And inside of that is another little Device Guard etc.etc.

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Spotty dwarf Ceres BARES ALL in NASA's SHINY CLOSEUPS

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Flying squid

It's very slack of elReg not to tell us how much a giant squid weighs on Ceres.

And what is a squid's escape velocity?

We need to know this sort of stuff.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/04/21/manhole_cover_octopus_inferno/

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What's 'appening with WhatsApp? '800 MEEELLION LOSERS* actively use us', says boss

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Re Zuck in an empty room @the islander

He dare not move from on top of that desk. 50% of those balloons contain poison gas and somewhere on the floor is a drawing pin.

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Sysadmins, patch now: HTTP 'pings of death' are spewing across web to kill Windows servers

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

@h4m0ny

No wait, I've already guessed the response - it's going to be some variation on "they shouldn't have bugs in the first place". Good luck with that! :/

Your guess is incorrect. The reason that people hate xx is because of their strategy of spreading FUD.

Not wishing to be sued I can only give a possible example.

Hang around the Ubuntu forum long enough and you will regularly find this sort of thing. A first-time poster will claim to have been using Ubuntu for several years. During this time the OP had nothing but trouble culminating in his data being lost etc. Now he is reverting to Windows.

From this one can deduce two possibilities.

!) The poster is an idiot who never asked for help on the forum before, but struggled on alone with his "defective" OS.

2) He is being paid to propagate FUD.

I personally do not want to do business with any company that has dishonesty at it's core.

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DTS announces DTS:X – sparks object-based audio war with Dolby

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: 2 @cosymart

Presuming that you're not trolling me then get a Quad mono system. Start with the preamp, get the amp and an electrostatic speaker later.

http://www.radiomuseum.org/r/acoustical_quad_control_unit_qc_ii.html

http://www.stereophile.com/content/quad-ii-classic-monoblock-power-amplifier-page-2

http://www.radiomuseum.org/r/acoustical_esl_electrostatic_loudsp.html

You'll need a large room because the speaker has to be 3ft from a wall to get any bass out of it. Great for classical music.

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What's Meg Whitman fussing over: The fate of HP ... or the font on a DISRUPTIVE new logo?

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Font

Isn't that the Ubuntu font?

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Revealed: The AMAZING technology behind Apple's $1299 Retina MacBooks – a lot of glue

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: What's stopping them...

They are saving the epoxy for the iwatch!

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Sticks and stones may break my DRONES – but I'm worth $10bn, laughs China's 'copter giant

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: What's so special about them?

A 4K camera, ultrasonic height detection and live streaming to Youtube

I might even be tempted to buy one. It probably won't be long before someone shoots a entire movie using drones.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-32224429

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MIT shows off machine-learning script to make CREEPY HEADS

Mystic Megabyte
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Terminator

Putin?

From the images shown I would surmise that Pres. Putin is just an avatar generated by Skynet.

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Lib Dems wheel out Digital Rights Bill pledge as election sweetener

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

SNP

Last week I emailed our local SNP candidate with regard to their position on the TTIP. So far I've had no reply so I don't think that I'll be voting for them.

http://www.globaljustice.org.uk/ttip-threat-democracy-standards-and-jobs

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Strange radio telescope signals came from microwave ovens

Mystic Megabyte
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Alien

Aliens, Microwaves?

I'm still wondering if the fridge light is off when the door is shut.

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Bulgarian Bill Gates blagger busted, banged up, again: report

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: I get that its a crime@TSRS

Kavrakov had seven credit cards, It said credit cards, not debit cards. RTFA!

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Daddy Dyson keeps it in the family and hoovers up son’s energy biz

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

I found a Dyson DC01 in the dump with the mains lead cut off. Next to it was a Flymo with a very long lead. I can now clean my whole house without changing sockets. I've been using it for about 10 years, lots of spares to be had for free or on eBay. It's great for slurping up dog hair, a borderline collie is the culprit :)

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The Internet of Stuff is a gigantic ultra-perv robbery network – study

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

That's another fine mess etc.

Damn those interweb thieves! I've never locked my front door before and now I'll have to.

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Aluminum bendy battery is boffins' answer to EXPLODING Li-ion menace

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

It only works with green energy?

Someone should buy that boffin a set of red and black connectors before he has an accident.

I too am underwhelmed with "battery breakthrough" stories.

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Don't be stiffed by spies, stand up to Uncle Sam with your proud d**k pics – says Snowden

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: YouTube Error

It's not allowed in the UK also.

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Teen pleads guilty in Microsoft and Valve hacking case

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

Options

1) Give these guys a job, they're just teenagers looking for kicks/kudos.

2) Microsoft should start using an OS that is not so easily hacked :)

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Facebook 'violates Euro data law' say Belgian data cops' researchers

Mystic Megabyte
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Big Brother

Of course!

"and have offered to meet with them to explain why it is incorrect"

Facebook already knows where they live :(

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Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

@rvt

Step 1) Project your thoughts to distant star system.

Step 2) Thoughts being massless, you arrive instantly.

Step 3) Converse with the advanced beings who abide there.

Step 4) Be back in time for the pub.

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Smart meters are a ‘costly mistake’ that'll add BILLIONS to bills

Mystic Megabyte
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Flame

Thermostats

From my experience no-one knows how to use thermostats. People use them like a switch, either fully up or fully down. Maybe schools could teach children what thermostats are actually useful for and how to set them efficiently.

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Belgium to the rescue as UK consumers freeze after BST blunder

Mystic Megabyte
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@Mine's a Guiness

Re: BST you might like to listen to this for an explanation. Warning, contains Stephen Fry. May cause allergies.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05nk5qq

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BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

From a fully paid-up member of the BOFH guild.

A clients high speed line printer* had stopped working. Back at the office I discovered that someone had spilled coffee (or possibly Coke) into it and not told anyone. I took out the motherboard and rinsed it under the tap while getting the crap loose with a paintbrush. When it was dry I found that the sugar in the coffee had eaten through one leg of a little capacitor. One replacement £0.50 cap. later and it was working again. We told the client that it was knackered and would cost a fortune to fix. I did a deal with my boss, he got the high speed printer and I got a little Epson dot matrix that would actually fit in my house. Plus some cash of course!

*It might have been an Oki

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Vodafone: So what exactly is 'ludicrous' about the Frontier report?

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

BT, my least favourite supplier*.

Some years ago BT got umpteen million quid to install broadband in Scotland's rural areas. They fitted the stupidly named "Exchange Activate" equipment which supplied a 512k connection. I kept checking with SamKnows and eventually we got ADSL+. Not only did BT not tell it's customers but also failed to inform my ISP who rent from BT Wholesale. BT were earning more money from the 512k package than what they could charge for the faster connection!

Only after I had informed my ISP did I get a speed increase to 4meg. I also rang my neighbours who were oblivious to the available but hidden improvement.

*Did I mention Phorm?

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Amazon cloud threatens to SMASH the fundamental laws of PHYSICS

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Wonderful for AI trainiing

I store all my doge pictures here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doge

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Fanbois: We paid $2000 for full satisfaction but now we have SPREADING STAINS

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

D'uh!

You can imagine that you can't go wrong cleaning a $2800 computer," said Tálamo

He forgot to switch on the reality distortion field™.

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Facebook unveils P2P moola-to-mates payment feature

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Avoid

Now scammers will be moving to FB en masse. How many users will get the "I've been mugged in <random destination>, send me money" request.

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US military CANCELS US$1.6 BEEELLION VMware deal

Mystic Megabyte
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Megaphone

Re: @AMFM is the light

And hail to the Holy Mouse Click of Trinity. <repeat 3 times>

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Improved Apple Watches won't get more expensive? Hmmm

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
FAIL

Trickle down?

Margaret Thatcher promoted the trickle down theory. What we find today is that the wealth trickles down the top few layers of the pyramid then shoots off sideways to a Swiss bank account. The amount of wealth that reaches the bottom is equivalent to the amount of water that reaches the Dead Sea from the River Jordan

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Yay! Wearables! It's the future! Uh-oh! I'm going to be sick

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Boffin

Regarding lack of brains*

Biofeedback, if you've never tried it, is worth a shot. Many years ago I built an alpha meter and experimented with it for a while. You put two electrodes on your head and an "earth" clip on your ear lobe. The amplifier only outputs sound when your brain is generating alpha waves. So to start with you hear nothing. After relaxing you may start hearing something. Immediately you start to think "I can hear it!", your brain will go into a different mode and the sounds stop. You train yourself to prolong and intensify the periods of the alpha state. After this training it becomes possible to recognize and enter the alpha state without the use of an alpha meter. YMMV

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biofeedback

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroencephalography#Wave_patterns

*Remember this? No you won't, your brain has been sucked out

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079714/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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This ISN'T Net Neutrality. This is Net Google. This is Net Netflix – the FCC's new masters

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Stop

Re: You are absolute fools!

>>The most corrupt organization on the planet is government

Your wish might soon come true when you find yourself living in a corporate state. As for me, I have no desire to live on planet Coca-Cola.

>>Liberalism is a mental disorder.

I predict that the day you have no money is the day you discover that you have no real friends.

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Nest seeks audio talent to delight … someone

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Unhappy

I was robbed

Google will be able to tell when you're drunk and playing old sentimental music. Then they will bombard you with adverts in the hope that you'll impulse buy something.

For sale: Unused, The Carpenters greatest hits box set :)

<goes off to delete history in Google dashboard>

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Google gives spit n' polish to world's most expensive Chromebook

Mystic Megabyte
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Meh

Re: use the sd card for the os...

Go and see the Arstechnica review for photos of the keyboard. It's useless, no page up/down, no Function keys. Meh!

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iTunes snafu: DNS fail borked Apple's app & iTunes stores for 10 HOURS

Mystic Megabyte
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Holmes

Re: Won't cost them much...

Nice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsQYzpOHpik

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'Roly poly' soft, wobbly robot BANGS EXPLOSIVELY, leaps 0.5m in air

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Where

>>Gerry Anderson pulled all the videos from Youtube otherwise I would have linked to one.

I hope that I can still surf the net when I'm dead.

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Ad bidding network caught slinging ransomware

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Linux

Re: Sort your shit out advertisers

I switched Adbolock off for a while and kept seeing images of some woman with hideous surgically enhanced lips. Also all these "weird tips" click bait shit.

It's switched back on for good now. Sorry ElReg but I would not be buying a sever anyway.

My Firefox is locked down tighter than a very locked down thing :)

For sites that don't play well I'll use Chrome and then delete all history etc.

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Quantum computers have failed. So now for the science

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Pint

s'obvious in'it

For example, the Nobel prizewinning physicist Gerard 't Hooft argues that we may be in a virtual universe,

I'll go for that! If you were to write a program for a simulated universe you'd first create some arrays. An "intelligent" number in one position might be able to detect that he had a neighbour but would never be able to work out why. The array itself would exist in another plane of existence or dimension if you like.

Maybe this explains Dark Matter. I'm off to the pub, Monday is old farts night.

Send my Nobel Prize quickly, I need the cash :)

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'Why Digital?' Seriously? You plainly don't Get It enough. Or at all

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Upvotes/Downvotes

Legislation will force them all to be in binary format.

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UK spaceport, phase two: Now where do we PUT the bleeding thing?

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

And the winner is...

The WW2 RAF base at Twatt!

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/34279925

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Win! El Reg exceedingly fine mug collection

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Megaphone

FTW

Mc.Vities are a rip-off! Get their exact equivalent from Lidls for a third of the price. The Gingernuts are especially good.

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How many Androids does it take to change a light bulb?

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
FAIL

Clueless

I have been asked to supply a "lighting solution" for someone’s kitchen. I decided to get either wire suspended or track lighting but using LEDs. I have wasted hours on this project, it's as if the suppliers don't want to sell me anything. For example, I asked one supplier if a 240V track* would work using 12V and LEDs. The response was "it is possible to convert 240V to 12V". Well d'uh.

ElReg boffins to the rescue?

*FYI trying to buy a 12V track that is over a metre long is impossible. I need 2 x 3 metres and the cost of the joints exceeds the cost of the tracks.

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Broadband routers: SOHOpeless and vendors don't care

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Unhappy

Advice?

My ISP is a small concern who charge extra to supply a modem/router.

I bought myself a cheap Edimax* modem/router and created a very long password for it.I recently looked into buying something better but the only options are for routers running DD-WRT, Tomato etc. This does not solve the modem problem. If a hacker can change the DNS settings then I'm still screwed.

We are not all networking experts so c'mon ElReg, give us some advice!

*which stupidly comes with ftp and telnet ports open by default. Change the Firewall settings to SPI to close them.

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Lost WHITE CITY of the MONKEY GOD found after 500 years

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

I've been to the lair of the white worm

Scout's honour!

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Mummy, what's the point of Evgeny Morozov's tedious columns?

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Bad choice

The mistake you made was to read any of the Guardian's non-news articles. I used to subscribe to the paper edition but gave up after a two page spread with pictures* of "health clinic " enema therapy. WTF!

I was also peeved at constantly seeing 16yo girls modelling jeans that cost £400. How the hell is that relevant to my lifestyle? Don't get me started on the stupid columnists.

Now I just browse all the main news outlets and try to sort the wheat from the chaff.

*yes, a great big bowl of poo

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£280k Kickstarter camera trigger campaign crashes and burns

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Linux

Novacut Video Editor.

Maybe you could do a story on Novacut. I "donated" some cash on their Kickstarter appeal but they seem to have vanished. It's a shame because Linux needs an editor like this

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/novacut/novacut-pro-video-editor

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'Fry-OS 8' iPhone BLEW UP MY PANTS wails roasted Johnson

Mystic Megabyte
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Headmaster

Re: Shock news!

Not according to my dictionary!

defenestrate ~ verb

1. throw through or out of the window

The rebels stormed the palace and defenestrated the President

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3 spectastic Lumias for price of 1 rival flagship: Microsoft sells biz on cheapie experience

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Stop

A lack of morals around here?

There's been a lot of talk on here recently about Sony, Samsung and Lenovo being boycotted. My list* includes Microsoft for all their underhand behaviour over the years.I would rather gnaw off my arm than give MS my money!

I have a Moto G but I will dump as soon as I can get an Ubuntu phone or equivalent.

I'm sick of all these tax avoiding, patent-grabbing and sueball-slinging mega-corps.

*If anyone from BT is reading, you're on it too..

Edit: My landline just went dead, coincidence or what?

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Bradley Horowitz on ailing Google+: Islands in the stream, that is what we are ...

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
FAIL

Profit?

If they offered money then I'd join! Something like $10 a week would pay for a beer or two. Maybe they pitched it wrong but I cannot see the point of G+. Is it like Buzz?.

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Get yourself connected: GrovePi+ Starter Kit

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Happy

Re: When I were a Lad

That brings back memories!

My sister worked for Philips and received a staff discount, so *everything* electrical in our house was made by them.

I had both the Electronic and Mechanical Engineers kits*. I built a light actuated car, amplifiers and all sorts of stuff. I also had Philips first portable cassette recorder, rigged to play stereo.

Let's hope that a new generation of engineers will develop from kits like the GrovePi.

*I just had to Google these.Lo and behold, there's the car that I built! <rings nursing home>

http://www.girdersandgears.com/norelco.html

http://www.radiomuseum.org/r/philips_ee_20_ee20.html

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'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Windows

leaky?

Do Word docs still leak data? Last time I looked they contained the directory tree and other information about your PC. This was some years ago so MS might have tidied it up by now.

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Facebook security chap finds 10 Superfish sub-species

Mystic Megabyte
Silver badge
Gimp

Level the playing field

It should be made illegal for Windows to be pre-installed on any device not made by Microsoft.

By pre-installed I mean already licensed, AKA the Windows tax.

So when booting up your new device you would have the option to pay and use a bloatware free version of Windows or just delete the lot and install Linux.

Ideally, a menu would offer the following options, "Pay £100 and use Windows or pay £0 and use Linux".

Do we have any politicians that care for anything other than their own interests?

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