785 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010
That last person who said that to me got pulled to the floor and hammered. Blood was spilled. but it was not mine. Emma, go sue those sad bastards!
Is this going to be a fair and honest appraisal of a user's health or just flattery?
User: Siri, is my ass fat?
Siri: (does quick calculation....Height = 5ft, Width = 4 ft.) Oh no, you have the fairest ass in the land.
Mines the one with no candy in the pocket.
Re: I'd gladly pay for the BBC...
When they recently repeated the "I Claudius" series I missed quite a few of them, When I tried to buy a box set of DVDs from the BBC they were not available.
Do I have to search for a torrent?
> and no sensible replacement for Outlook
You must be joking! When I last had the misfortune to use Outlook I regularly clicked the "Archive" button but when I needed to restore some emails found that it had archived nothing. POS
Re: What's the point?
How to speak australians. A course for Indian citizens wishing to migrate. Very much NSFW!
Re: Robots hive mind for the win.
>IE alien robots
They won't last long if they're running Windows, even the aliens in Independence Day got a virus and they ran Zghortsnix 9000
If I set up a camera and a dove flew down, pressing the shutter at the exact moment that Tony Blair was struck by lightning, I would gladly forsake the copyright.
Now I can has solar powered jetpack.
Disaster in Essex, many dead.
The only person saved was the one wearing a woolly jumper, all the lycra and shell suited people were left to die.
How about a BT parody portal?
I might be able to get revenge for all these "A special BT offer just for you" letters that the bastards keep sending me.
BTW. Dear BT, I don't watch sport, I don't have a TV and I do remember Phorm.
My father taught me to never swerve for dogs because doing so you are likely to kill yourself or someone else in another vehicle.
A tourist here recently swerved for a rabbit and put his whole family in hospital.
P.S. The only dog that I've hit survived the impact.
Paris wouldn't swerve for a dog ----------->
So I can go to a foreign city, walk into a bar and find all the
characters, loonies folk from my local bar are already there.
Maybe I'm missing something :(
I've been forgotten
He should hire Max Mosely as his internet spokesman.
Oh wait! No one can find his email address* anymore.
*apart from the NSA obviously :)
Re: So GCHQ is breaking the law
>is one to assume that be condonation
It be the nation of condos
Co-op, I'm looking at you.
I wanted to open a co-op account for my elderly mother but she did not appear on any database as she had been a housewife since her marriage. All the utility bills had been in my father's name. They wanted all sorts of original documents before proceeding. Later I asked for the documents back and was told "We don't know where they are". Most likely they are in a landfill somewhere just waiting for an identity thief to find them.
Why is it that the big name brands put a "Sell by" date of ten years into the future?
I don't know the internal resistance of these batteries but that does seem a bit optimistic.
Any battery boffins out there?
A pal just bought a second hand iphone for £100, saying lamely "because they were £300 new". It was three years old.
The truth is that the phone is obsolete, a brand new £100 Android does more and has a bigger screen.
I don't care if my Moto G has no re-sale value because was not expensive to start with. I'll just go and spend another £100 in a couple of years time and give the old one away.
Stone me to my soul...
It's just like a jelly roll....
Or something like that!
Re: Don't do it like that @Tiny iota
It was more to do with the owner of the Iphone who is a bit of a knob-head. Plus that fact that he's on Vodaphone.
Don't do it like that
Both my local pubs have zero phone signal. I've been winding-up the Voda users by making calls over wifi with O2's TuGo app. I especially like it when someone’s expensive iThing is out-done by my cheapo Moto G.
The TuGo app is buggy but hopefully will improve.
P.S. Yes I know that I'm an ********
>It is Windows XP,
is it any version of Windows?
Just say no
This company upgraded.....to Ubuntu!
I like the last sentence:
As Sang-Hoon Kim, President and CEO of Bukwang Pharmaceutical, explained: “At first, we just wanted to save money. But we never expected the free publicity that would result, nor did we expect to launch a profitable new business. For all our success so far, however, it still feels like we are at the beginning of our open source journey.”
High speed insanity
If you were to eavesdrop in my local using the favourite snack (pork scratchings) you'd go mad.
I never did understand why any Windows program could write a whole load of crap into the registry.
Remember those AOL CDs that came in the post every week? If you were daft enough to install one a search of the registry revealed AOL in a zillion places, even after uninstalling it!
I got annoyed with the inevitable slow-down of my PC and moved to Linux after XP.
As mentioned above, MS's collusion with Hollywood and DRM was their downfall. I want to be the admin of my own machine.
Hogwarts magic spell
Does GCHQ have a motto? If not, then I suggest; Imperium C Imperium V
Somebody can probably better, my brain has only had one cup of tea so far.
Temporarily allow all this page
MS's own site won't render at all in Firefox 31.0 so I don't see their plan working very well.
That was my first car, it had eight seats FFS. Looked like a slug!
It annoys me that they want to look for past life instead of existing organisms. It's a well known fact that all sorts of life forms hide under rocks. Flip over a suitable rock, scoop up some dirt and place it into some water*. gently heat and perhaps add some sugar. Surely something will grow.
OK I only did "O" level physics and biology but I cannot be far wrong.
*In a sealed container to stop it sublimating away.
Re: why are they bothered?
>While I do enjoy the comment (and have used a similar line myself) this really is a bit more serious. It's not >just about spying on Senators but about removing information the Senators are using to investigate CIA >activities. And then lying to them about it.
This post will "self destruct" in 10 seconds!
Picture this, a spacious newly built double garage with a superbly smooth screeded floor. There are two steps up into the house and the garage is totally empty. In theory any item dropped would be easily found in seconds. But wait, there is one brick missing where some pipes go under the house.
From the top of the step ladder I watch as the screw I drop hits the bottom step, goes horizontal and vanishes forever through the only possible exit.
I think that light fitting still only has one screw holding it up :(
You must be joking
"and plans to spend £75m building a new digital-TV multiplex full of Scottish content."
We already get Gaelic TV although no-one here speaks it.
BBC Radio Scotland is full of tossers who blether on about uninteresting crap.
All the TV heads that I know just watch Sky so I can see this to be a total waste of money.
As for the internet, I'm with Scotnet who's service is exemplary although it rides on BT wholesale. No blocked sites so far. Up here in the Northern Isles I get a 8128 kbps connection but the nearest towns over the water are supposed to getting 80 Mbps soon. I doubt that will ever reach here.
If Scotland goes independent then Orkney and Shetland will too. Slap a 200 mile claim to the surrounding sea and all the oil that President For Life Salmond has promised the Scots. Then you may see the Scottish army invading us poor defenceless islanders*. Having said that we could just buy an army with all that oil money :)
*Shortly after the re-naming of the Salmond Airport, Salmond Road Bridge and Salmond University etc.
Re: Well that explains...
You're a clown!
I am entirely to blame for the BBC outage :(
I typed get_iplayer --get everything
I think this has less to do with copyright issues and almost entirely to do with lawyers thinking that they will be made for life. "Hey, we can sue everyone ad infinitum!"
Like the American firm who allegedly put up the content in the first place and then sued the downloaders.
My thoughts on this are NSFW.
Re: My 2p @Mike Smith The answer to your problem?
Watch this, it's long but well worth seeing. Joe Wilson gets very animated when he starts ranting about the Hollywood beancounters. NSFW but contains some gems.
Damn those ruskies
With all the flight MH17 news and comment I think that the BBC has pissed off Putin quite a bit recently . Coincidence? I think not.
Learn from the historical documentaries!
"Try to not land in the soup."
and on no account touch that monolith.
It's the lair of the white worm
Send in the boy scouts!
For the younger readers this film contains one of the funniest sex scenes ever filmed.
See how the useless scumbags voted
That's the last vote you get from me Alistair.
Re: Libraries Yet more DRM hindrance.
For me to borrow an ebook from my library I would have to install Adode Editions which is not possible as I only run Linux/Android. So TPB has become my library.
In the case of probes that are very distant I have often wondered what these boffins are monitoring on their screens. Bearing in mind a communication delay of many minutes, is it where the probe actually is now or where it was x minutes ago or perhaps where it should be in x minutes? Confused? I am!
Hopefully someone will know the answer.
OK they have worked out where the dust comes from but where does all that fluff originate. <looks under bed> A prize for the first person to mention shockwaves :)
Re: Telephone calls
"This is The Computer Support department of Microsoft" said an Indian Voice."
That poor guy spent 10 mins. trying to "fix" my Linux laptop before I told him to feck off.
All the people who responded positively to negative stories and vice versa get tagged as potential psychos and then get nothing but gun and knife adverts.
Re: Humans > robots?
Yes but there is useful stuff in the Americas and bugger all on Mars, not even any air.
The last time this happened everyone went blind :(
Otari 1" 8 track
I used to use one of these and for instruments like a saxaphone you can't beat the tape compression,
it never went into distortion.
Luvvies, don't you just love 'em
I was recording the soundtrack for a film at cheapo studio rates when I discovered that everybody else were on union rates. I let slip that I was also a union member and they had to pretend that I'd played the harmonica and gave me a bunch of cash. Somewhere out there my name is on the credits as a muso instead of sound engineer.
All TV is dumb
When repoting a bus crash TV editors seem compelled to show me a stock image of a bus.
I KNOW WHAT A FECKING BUS LOOKS LIKE!
Please credit your audience with some intelligence.
Can you still mine for hashish there?
- SMASH the Bash bug! Red Hat, Apple scramble for patch batches
- A BENDY iPhone 6, you say? Pah, warp claims are bent out of shape: Consumer Reports
- eXpat Files 'Could we please not have naked developers running around the office BEFORE 10pm?'
- CoTW Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
- Vulture at the Wheel Renault Twingo: Small, sporty(ish), safe ... and it's a BACK-ENDER