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* Posts by Mystic Megabyte

756 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

Mystic Megabyte
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Facepalm

Black hole

Picture this, a spacious newly built double garage with a superbly smooth screeded floor. There are two steps up into the house and the garage is totally empty. In theory any item dropped would be easily found in seconds. But wait, there is one brick missing where some pipes go under the house.

From the top of the step ladder I watch as the screw I drop hits the bottom step, goes horizontal and vanishes forever through the only possible exit.

I think that light fitting still only has one screw holding it up :(

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Scotland's BIG question: Will independence cost me my broadband?

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

You must be joking

"and plans to spend £75m building a new digital-TV multiplex full of Scottish content."

We already get Gaelic TV although no-one here speaks it.

BBC Radio Scotland is full of tossers who blether on about uninteresting crap.

All the TV heads that I know just watch Sky so I can see this to be a total waste of money.

As for the internet, I'm with Scotnet who's service is exemplary although it rides on BT wholesale. No blocked sites so far. Up here in the Northern Isles I get a 8128 kbps connection but the nearest towns over the water are supposed to getting 80 Mbps soon. I doubt that will ever reach here.

If Scotland goes independent then Orkney and Shetland will too. Slap a 200 mile claim to the surrounding sea and all the oil that President For Life Salmond has promised the Scots. Then you may see the Scottish army invading us poor defenceless islanders*. Having said that we could just buy an army with all that oil money :)

*Shortly after the re-naming of the Salmond Airport, Salmond Road Bridge and Salmond University etc.

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HP settles suit with popstar Chubby Checker over todger tester app

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

Re: Well that explains...

You're a clown!

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iOS services intended solely for diagnostics: 'I don’t buy it for a minute'

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

My fault

I am entirely to blame for the BBC outage :(

I typed get_iplayer --get everything

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Australia floats website blocks and ISP liability to stop copyright thieves

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Lawyers

I think this has less to do with copyright issues and almost entirely to do with lawyers thinking that they will be made for life. "Hey, we can sue everyone ad infinitum!"

Like the American firm who allegedly put up the content in the first place and then sued the downloaders.

My thoughts on this are NSFW.

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There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES

Mystic Megabyte
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Megaphone

Re: My 2p @Mike Smith The answer to your problem?

Watch this, it's long but well worth seeing. Joe Wilson gets very animated when he starts ranting about the Hollywood beancounters. NSFW but contains some gems.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRdRzlVuzn0

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BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled

Mystic Megabyte
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Black Helicopters

Damn those ruskies

With all the flight MH17 news and comment I think that the BBC has pissed off Putin quite a bit recently . Coincidence? I think not.

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Cave pits, ideal for human bases, FOUND ON MOON

Mystic Megabyte
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Alien

Learn from the historical documentaries!

"Try to not land in the soup."

and on no account touch that monolith.

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MYSTERIOUS Siberia CRATER: ALIENS or METEOR not involved, officials insist

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

It's the lair of the white worm

Send in the boy scouts!

For the younger readers this film contains one of the funniest sex scenes ever filmed.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095488/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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UK.gov's data grab and stab law IMMINENT as Drip drips through House of Lords

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

See how the useless scumbags voted

http://blog.38degrees.org.uk/2014/07/16/mp-vote-privacy/

That's the last vote you get from me Alistair.

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Gust catches Amazon's skirt, reveals glimpse of 'Netflix for books'

Mystic Megabyte
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Pirate

Re: Libraries Yet more DRM hindrance.

For me to borrow an ebook from my library I would have to install Adode Editions which is not possible as I only run Linux/Android. So TPB has become my library.

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Space geeks' resurrected NASA Sun probe ISEE-3 now on collision course with THE MOON

Mystic Megabyte
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Go

Time delay

In the case of probes that are very distant I have often wondered what these boffins are monitoring on their screens. Bearing in mind a communication delay of many minutes, is it where the probe actually is now or where it was x minutes ago or perhaps where it should be in x minutes? Confused? I am!

Hopefully someone will know the answer.

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Cosmic dust riddle BREAKTHROUGH: Study tackles stuff of the universe

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

yeah but

OK they have worked out where the dust comes from but where does all that fluff originate. <looks under bed> A prize for the first person to mention shockwaves :)

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Telephone calls

"This is The Computer Support department of Microsoft" said an Indian Voice."

That poor guy spent 10 mins. trying to "fix" my Linux laptop before I told him to feck off.

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Facebook 'manipulated' 700k users' feelings in SECRET EXPERIMENT

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Good marketing?

All the people who responded positively to negative stories and vice versa get tagged as potential psychos and then get nothing but gun and knife adverts.

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YOU - NASA. Enough with the ROBOTS, get some PEOPLE to MARS

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Humans > robots?

@Vlad

Yes but there is useful stuff in the Americas and bugger all on Mars, not even any air.

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US skywatchers get Earth's first peek at new meteor shower

Mystic Megabyte
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Alien

Triffids next?

The last time this happened everyone went blind :(

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Vinyl-fetish hipsters might just have a point

Mystic Megabyte
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Megaphone

Otari 1" 8 track

I used to use one of these and for instruments like a saxaphone you can't beat the tape compression,

it never went into distortion.

http://www.the8trackshack.com.au/shack-pics-002.jpg

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Please work for nothing, Mr Dabbs. What can you lose?

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Luvvies, don't you just love 'em

I was recording the soundtrack for a film at cheapo studio rates when I discovered that everybody else were on union rates. I let slip that I was also a union member and they had to pretend that I'd played the harmonica and gave me a bunch of cash. Somewhere out there my name is on the credits as a muso instead of sound engineer.

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BBC hacks – tweet the crap out of the news, cries tech-dazzled Trust

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

All TV is dumb

When repoting a bus crash TV editors seem compelled to show me a stock image of a bus.

I KNOW WHAT A FECKING BUS LOOKS LIKE!

Please credit your audience with some intelligence.

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Minecraft players can now download Denmark – all of it – in 1:1 scale

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Freetown Christiania

Can you still mine for hashish there?

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Vladimir Putin says internet is a 'CIA project'

Mystic Megabyte
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Big Brother

The Real George Orwell

This is worth a listen, some very intelligent views on the subject.

Quite scarily it seems to be happening right now.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01qhb8b

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All men are part of a PURE GENETIC ELITE, says geno-science bloke

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Platypus man

I read that the boffin had also found the same X in Platypus. This showed that it had endured for a looong time.

New movie plot? Man gets bitten by radioactive Platypus, grows poisonous barbs on his heels and starts laying eggs. I want Steven Segal in the lead as only he could express the subtle emotions of the role.

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So long, 'invincible dreamers': Google+ daddy Gundotra resigns

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Google groups

Yesterday I checked to see if there were any GGs in the UK for a popular activity... there were none.

I don't have a Facebook account so I'll have to rely on that old tech. telephone.

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SAVE THE EARTH... give all your iThings back to us, begs Apple

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

iPood

Or you could use an iPood to bury your shiny thing with an acorn and grow an oak tree.

Oh no! You cannot because a device for burying turds infringed on the all encompassing Apple empire and was banned.

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NASA finds first Earth-sized planet in a habitable zone around star

Mystic Megabyte
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Alien

general ignorance question

Say we put a telescope on the Moon pointing at Kepler-186f in conjunction with one on Earth. It would collect photons from a disc the same radius as the Moons orbit.

Would Kepler-186f look bigger? Or would it be out of focus due to the Earth/Moon's orbit around the Sun? Or something else?

There must be something wrong with my understanding here but I'm sure that someone will tell me why.

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Lavabit loses contempt of court appeal over protecting Snowden, customers

Mystic Megabyte
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Big Brother

Catch 22

He could argue that he hired a secret lawyer to contest his case in a secret court. Of course he is bound by law not to reveal any of these details or if he did in fact do any of them. Allegedly.

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Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years

Mystic Megabyte
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Paris Hilton

Remember to wear knickers

So is my flying car is going to be made of glass?

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Windows 8.1, which you probably haven't upgraded to yet, ALREADY OBSOLETE

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

No

I would not touch Windows 8 with a bargepole, thanks anyway.

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Google woos enterprise developers with 'Glass at Work' program

Mystic Megabyte
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Paris Hilton

Big breaths

"shoot video of the patent for sharing with the rest of the team,"

Only if the patent has rounded corners!

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Heartbleed vuln under ACTIVE ATTACK as hackers map soft spots

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

"things not normally associated with volunteer work."

Like all those Doctors who volunteer to work in disaster areas.

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Icahn, but Iwont: Carl the investor pest ends war with eBay

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Sad git

We should feel sorry for people who every waking moment think only of money.

Get a life!

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Cheat Win XP DEATH: Little-known tool to save you from the XPocalypse

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

" the copy in the VM is keyed against VirtualPC's emulated hardware "

In the interests of research only, where is the emulated BIOS file kept?

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Revoke, reissue, invalidate: Stat! Security bods scramble to plug up Heartbleed

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Re: This has been used in the wild on Bitcoin exchanges

"I suspect it's directly caused by this issue."

bollocks!

I suspect it's the NSA, because they are the puppets of the banks who really don't want Bitcoin to succeed.

The ability to move money without the bank getting a cut? Preposterous!

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EE dismisses DATA-BURNING glitch with Orange Mail app

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Co-op

I read yesterday that the Co-op are about to sell Sim cards. The prices looked good.

Unfortunately they use EE.

Sorry Co-op but you just lost a potential customer.

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Bendy or barmy: Why your next TV will be curved

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Unintended consequences of mesmeric TV screens

If it makes the woman in white think she's a teapot then I don't want one.

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Microsoft spells out new rules for exiling .EXEs

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Too late

The reason that I abandoned Windows was that I spent more time running programs to eliminate malware than actually using it productively.

Last week I saw the first pop-under in years while running Chromium on Xubuntu and visiting yify.tv. (Warning! It's best not to visit this site if you're running Windows)

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Hyper-V telling fibs about Linux guest VMs

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

"No, the team writing the Hyper-V tools are up to date and are part of the Hyper-V team. It is the Linux manufacturers that lag behind in merging the updates to the Integration Tools into their releases. As it mentions in the Microsoft statement."

In other words, Microsoft keep moving the goalposts to ensure a constant level of FUD.

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Final Windows XP Patch Tuesday will plug Word RTF vuln

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

VM

As for me, I'm going to do one last update and leave XP locked into a VM for the odd time that I may need it.

Hopefully I will never have to install 2GB of bloatware (Nokia Smart Suite) just to update the firmware on my featureless phone ever again.

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Facebook swallows Oculus VR goggle-geeks. Did that really happen?

Mystic Megabyte
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Go

Darwin awards all round

As more and more FB users walk in front of trucks whilst wearing their 3D goggles.

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Boffins working on debris float models to track MH370 wreckage

Mystic Megabyte
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EPIRB

Maybe planes should carry some EPIRBs. If there were three of them distributed about the cabin then chances are that one would escape the wreck and float to the surface.

Not very expensive to buy and cheap to maintain. Airlines could advertise the fact that they're carried to boost passenger confidence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EPIRB

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This changes everything: Microsoft slips WinXP holdouts $100 to buy new Windows 8 PCs

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Re: upgrading old boxes

I'm typing this on an eeePC900 running Xubuntu 13.10.

An easy install, it all works OOTB and boots up very fast. It resumes from suspend in a couple of seconds and is reconnected to wi-fi in a few more. Added Chromium, it's faster than Firefox.

If you are going for the full-fat install then consider moving /tmp and /var to the 16GB drive because the 4GB drive will fill up fast and leave no room for the updates.

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Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Upgrade to XP now.

I'm working on a boat at the moment, the LaserPlot chart-plotter runs on MSDOS!

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NSA 'hunted sysadmins' to find CAT PHOTOS, high-level passwords

Mystic Megabyte
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Slinkedin

Maybe that's why I keep getting invites to Linkedin.

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'Weev' attempts to overturn AT&T iPad 'hack' conviction

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: Insecure = ok?

I find your plant pot analogy to be wrong.

Say that I'm on the subway and and man next to me has fallen asleep with an open folder on his lap.

I cannot but help to read some confidential information and then tell it to my friends. Is that hacking?

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Twitter turns 8: Five tech kingpins whose first tweets are UNBELIEVABLE

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

I must be missing something

I seem to have led a normal life without seeing any tweets.. From reading El Reg I understand that it so sort of communication system that "celebrities" use to let their followers know that they've had a dump.

WTF is that about and why should I care?

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NSA spies recorded an entire COUNTRY'S phone calls for a MONTH: Report

Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

Disc full

I wondered why my cloud space is always full. Presumably the handle Mystic Zetabyte is already taken.

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Actually, there is an Arapaho word for 'pliers'

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Is there an Arapaho word for this?

When working in any confined space why is the tool that I need behind me?

And how the hell did it get there when I only just put it down?

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Is Microsoft hinting at a fully fondleslab-friendly future for Office 365?

Mystic Megabyte
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Windows

What?

Anyone who is recommending MS Office should be sacked immediately.

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Foxtel's new football-watching shirt THROBS after every tackle

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

???

What a complete waste of time, money and resources.

It's sad enough already to see grown men wearing their football shirts in the pub but this "invention" will put them into a whole new league of fail.

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