* Posts by FozzyBear

335 posts • joined 15 Feb 2010

Page:

No, George Brandis, telcos still don't want you taking the console in their networks

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Mushroom

Seriously why is this legalisation even being considered. Why are the responses so measured and formal, when "fuck off dipshit" summarises everything so nicely.

The whole premise of this being used to stop terrorism is fucking ridiculous. The AG department are not the experts on terrorism and they certainly don't have the knowledge to make informed decisions on basic networks, never alone national telecommunication networks that use everything from basic copper to satellites.

This is the first step in turning Australia into such a big brother state it would make hard core communists spasm in ecstasy

Brandis you fucking tool, get back under that mouldy rotten log you crawled out from.

0
0

Boffins baffled by record-smashing supernova that shouldn't exist

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Alien

Awesome,

Who wants all the answers when the questions are so much more interesting to investigate.

I do suspect, however, that Marvin the Martin finally got his illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator working

4
0

200 experts line up to tell governments to get stuffed over encryption

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Mushroom

I am no encryption expert

But I would also like to add my voice to the growing din of protests. However, I would like to clearly and concisely express my discontent to the politicians

FUCK OFF YOU IMBECILES

2
0

Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Re : I trust it will be equally illegal for women to have erect nipples?

I'd be more concerned, offended by moose knuckles

3
0

You’re clever? But are you clever enough to give a Reg lecture?

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Pint

I'll sign up.

Lecture: The individual characteristics of hops derived refreshments

Location: The local pub

time: 5pm to ???? (sadly to ensure an impartial review several iterations of certain selections maybe required)

This will be the first in a series of lectures exploring the world of alcohol. Audience participation is not only encouraged but required)

2
0

Revenge porn 'king' Hunter Moore sent down for 2.5 years, fined $2k

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
FAIL

Breen Whitman

Please slither back into whichever dank, mouldy rotting crevice you crawling out from to make that comment

0
0

Part of the world's IT brought down by Azure Active Directory issue

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Happy

went down earlier this morning

You know every other website that I read this phrase on it always has a happy ending. Alas, on the El Reg or when IT related is always ends in frustration, tears and crying that you cant finish the job

0
0

NSW government mulls unified public safety comms

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
FAIL

Hmmmm

000 Operator : Hello Which emergency service

Caller: ambulance My Husband is having a heart attack.

000 Operator: Unfortunately they are all busy at the moment. Have you considered upgrading your current plan to our $60 / month premium plan. It provides priority queue to the emergency service, gives an extra 100 minutes talk time and gives you an additional 500MB of data each month

Caller. Really!, but I still have 3 months left on my current contract.

Operator: That's not a problem if you sign up now we'll waiver the usual exit fee and even give you the choice of a new handset or a tablet

Caller Excellent sign me up.

<Clickety click>

Operator: Ok all done you should receive all that in the mail in three days time. Oh look a line has just opened up for the ambulance.

Caller: Umm don't bother can you put me through to the local funeral director.

Operator: Sure, and thank you for calling Telstra, umm I mean emergency services

2
0

128GB DDR4 DIMMs have landed so double your RAM cram plan

FozzyBear
Bronze badge

Re: Bugger

Bean counters they're easier to replace. A lot cheaper too.

0
0
FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

Bugger

Just finished my budgeting for next year on hardware. As a few have posted above a few of these bad boys will allow database in memory. It would be hard to justify the just released prices to the bean counters. the upside, I'd get to watch a few spontaneously combust

2
0

Australian cops rush to stop 2AM murder of … a spider

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Ah,

Just the sort of story to brighten an otherwise suicidal Monday morning

0
0

HPE to open private London drinking club

FozzyBear
Bronze badge

PPFFFTTTT

There is no need for a name. The new logo the green rectangle that was produced in MS paint in 5 secs, is instantly recognisable around the world

0
0

Nuisance call blocking firms fined £170,000 ... for making nuisance calls

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: My current pet hate

This is the best advice. Done it before, I'll do it again.

1
0

Green rectangles are the new rounded rectangles

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Mushroom

I've heard a lot of BS in my time. but

HP's described its own new logo as " ...transformative, flexible and agile as we are becoming, while standing out from the pack."

this statement has just broken my internal BS meter, took a dump on it then set it on fire.

11
0

Cartoon brings proper tech-talk to telly

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Terminator

Interesting

I always thought "Happy tree friends" was the best representation of working in I.T.

It always starts out with rainbows and everyone skipping hand in hand, But by the end of the day you know there is going to be carnage and blood on the floor, You're just wondering what new and inventive way either the business, sales support or that licencing rep from SAP or IBM are going to make it happen.

6
0

Kim Dotcom slams 'dirty ugly bully' Uncle Sam as extradition hearing ends

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Mushroom

Gordon argued that the sort of mass copyright infringement that sites like Megaupload allow for have a knock-on impact on box office prices and that some companies "may choose to stop making films altogether."

Really, care to explain the release of "dumb and dumber to", Jupiter ascending,, hot tub time machine 2 and the other cringe worthy material that has tarnished the silver screen this year.

22
1

French Playmobil heist: El Reg denies involvement

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Happy

I DEMAND

A playmobil re-creation of the heist to the tune of Yakety Sax.

6
0

Hackathons: Don't try them if you don't like risks

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Pint

Recently dodged that bullet

Having been on company "retreats", team building days, sponsored development and character days (Yeah, still have no frigging idea what hell that is).This voice of reason can honestly say they are a

FUCKING WASTE OF TIME

Want to improve team dynamics. Call down tools at lunch time and throw the card on the bar for the afternoon.

5
0

Facebook conjures up a trap for the unwary: scanning your camera for your friends

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

Yeah.. No thanks

My only suggestion to Zuck and his mates is for the opt out button to be nice and big with the helpful text of "fuck off" in nice big bold caps.

63
0

How Microsoft will cram Windows 10 even harder down your PC's throat early next year

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Pirate

Windows will make your PC purr ( from the Piccy in the article)

Really, My mate has a cat. It basically lays in the corner and does Sweet F.A. When it does decide to do something it craps all over the place then paws kitty litter everywhere. to top it off at random times it will lovingly leave a dead animal in a hidden corner of the house stinking up the place

hmmmm. Come to think of it Nice analogy Microsoft

18
0

Telstra claims ideas created in Hackathon as its own for 18 months

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Flame

All your base are belong to us

Fixed that for them. More concise and to the point.

Seriously why would you sign away your rights and potential IP away.

2
0

You own the software, Feds tell Apple: you can unlock it

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Mushroom

Yep interesting situation. The Accused can taken the 5th. the Cops have a valid search warrant wanting to get at the information that no doubt confirms their suspicions And for the first time Ever I am agreeing with Apple with them pleading in court. Hey please don't use our own EULA against us. It is used to screw the user over , not us.

13
0

Microsoft flashes cash for security bugs in ASP.NET and .NET Core

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

Presumably the company is betting that developers using its web application framework, even in open source guise, will find themselves drawn towards hosting on Azure, or using a SQL Server database, or linking with Microsoft services such as Office 365 or Azure Active Directory.®

They bet wrong. Main reason I have moved away from Microslop is so I don't have to use their crap.

0
4

Microsoft mavens promise proper quantum computer in 10 years

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Alert

Re: Maybe it will be so powerful

Possibly, but it would take seven and half million years of processing. After which you would get the BSOD, with a faint outline of the number 42 burnt into the display screen.

7
1

Microsoft now awfully pushy with Windows 10 on Win 7, 8 PCs – Reg readers hit back

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Read the EULA, people

You are right. That is essentially what the EULA dictates. Still doesn't make it right. They do not have the right to force you to accept any or all changes. I am still the gate keeper of my systems and I dictate how I want my systems to run. I make the decisions on what, if any, information I share. And I certainly get to make the decisions on how my system accepts updates or security patches

This action by MS is the final straw for many users who have been able to overlook or even forgive MS's indiscretions in the past. Anyone who is not a mindless lemming is moving on I have, they have lost me as a customer. Honestly I haven't regretted that decision for one second.

21
1
FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Happy

I was going to make a similar comment.

Fortunately Garry you were able to voice my thoughts and without too many expletives as well. Thank you for your restraint.

62
1

Shocker: Net anarchist builds sneaky 220v USB stick that fries laptops

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

Don't care how many down votes.

This is essential kit for the BOFH toolbox.

12
2

Apple may face $900m bill after A7 CPU in iPhones, iPads ripped off university's patent

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Trollface

Apple calling someone else a Patent Troll.

My brain went into vapour lock over the level of irony of that statement

10
1

Brazilian prisoner nabbed with mobile up rear end

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Happy

Everyone seems so surprised that he managed to insert that much

I'm not. I know any number of senior managers and politicians that live with their head up their arse.

6
0

Hillary's sysadmin left VNC, RDP exposed to the internet - report

FozzyBear
Bronze badge

still leaving one mystery device to be identified. ®

Yep that'll be the actual truth of the situation. Unfortunately that will never see the light of day.

5
0

Data retention has started in Australia, but carriers aren't ready

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

I was once again going to provide a rational argument against this legislation. However, as usual being rational is as rare commodity in Canberra. So I will simply make the following statement

Brandis can kiss my sweaty hairy arse.

8
0

Sysadmins can forget PC management skills, says Microsoft

FozzyBear
Bronze badge

So someone at Microsoft has woken up and realised what is happening out in the real world of business. I have seen any number of so called experts that sit there turning an ipad around trying to figure out which way is up.

Don't get me wrong I applaud the effort, It's just long overdue. Hopefully desktops are not completely removed, if so, that's a serious oversight

1
8

If you wanted Windows 10, it looks like you've already installed it

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

The thing that had me searching for a cross and holy water was the image for the article. Imagine for a second having to install windows 10 from floppy.

NOW that is a new level of hell

3
0

Scary Trans-Pacific Partnership trade treaty signed off

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

Why do I get the feeling that yet more of my rights and freedoms have yet again been brutally raped. A generous kick back to the Pollies will make sure that those rights and freedoms are sold cheaply in the pursuit of even more profits

6
1

Cisco Australia bumps prices by 12.83 per cent, for second time this year

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
IT Angle

And here I thought it was just another mindless cash grab from yet another company. My Mistake.

If the weakening Aussie dollar is to blame can we expect a drop in price when the dollar regains it's strength against the greenback?.... Yeah thought not.

1
0

Japan begins mega-rollout of 100 million+ national IDs

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Alien

So How does it work

for all those aliens with the tentacles I keep seeing in their "art" movies. Are they issued just one card or 8.

0
0

Ex-Autonomy CEO Mike Lynch sues HP for $150m+

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Happy

Wait a minute

.

.

Ok I'm in my comfy chair and I have my popcorn. Continue!

2
0

SAUCY INCEST and brutal VIOLENCE boosts UK space sector

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Happy

I have to admit

I have read countless series where the good guygirl was readily identified. You knew regardless of his/her loss or number of near death experiences s/he would eventually triumph. An epilogue would tie the story off in a nice feel good bow. You could put the book down knowing it was a good read and the good guy/girl saved the day

Reading ice and fire you knew Ned Stark was the good guy. I was hooked the moment instead of a last minute reprieve they cut off his head. Reading a book series where the good guy may not win or you’re picking between anti-heroes, that’s what makes a good read for me. The gratuitous sex and violence well, that’s just gravy.

3
0

OFFICIAL: Facebook growth BIGGER THAN ... JESUS, the INTERNET!

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

I'm sure there is a joke in there somewhere

drawing on the parallel between the irrational ficitious content of religion and the content in facebook, I just can;t find it.

1
1

Architect of UK’s hated Care.data scheme quits NHS, flees from Britain

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Alert

Two hundred years later

The British are still using Australia as a penal colony

5
0

Microsoft puts arm round Salesforce, pair skip gaily into the cloud

FozzyBear
Bronze badge

Microsoft puts arm round Salesforce, pair skip gaily into the cloud

Why couldn't they have merrily skipped off a cliff onto large jagged rocks.

0
0

Lessig to NZ court: Dotcom charges would fail in the US

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Pirate

Who would have thought that the U.S in their zeal to curb global criminal masterminds that they overlooked a few tiny details such as facts and evidence.

22
1

DMCA takedown bots must respect 'fair use' of copyright – US appeals court

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Mushroom

Seriously

Why haven't the lawyers and executives for UMG been dragged outside the courtroom and publicly flogged

7
0

Deluded Aussie geeks hail Turnbull's elevation to prime minister

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

Time will tell. However, issues such as data retention laws and the attorney general trying to dictate telco infrastructure all with input from Malcolm’s “transformation office” , I fear we have substituted toxic Tony with Moronic Malcolm..

10
0

Vodafone 'fesses up to hack of journalist's phone, denies 'improper behaviour'

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

What the hell

Does an accounting firm know about investigating system security breaches? I hope this PR stunt to dance around a criminal offence has cost them plenty of dosh

3
0

Look! Up in the sky! It's letters on a plane read with a 250MP camera

FozzyBear
Bronze badge

makes text readable at 18km range

and yet you will still be squinting to make out the fne print in any software licencing agreement

38
0

Is John McAfee running for US president? 'My campaign manager told me not to comment'

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Devil

I hope he wins

It would make the nightly news the most entertaining thing to watch on TV.

17
0

Stealth service – Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

FozzyBear
Bronze badge
Happy

Snake, Snake Plissken

I thought he was dead!

0
0

Australia the idiot in the global village, says Geoff Huston

FozzyBear
Bronze badge

The understatement of the year

The reason, he suspects, is simple cluelessness: nobody in parliament nor among the various departmental heads that demanded data retention understands how the networks operate: "They just don’t get it", he states

Yep you could also safely say that turnball, Brandis and the other asshats of the Australian federal government make a bus load of idiots look like a physicist’s convention

15
0

Popcorn time at Popcorn Time: More vid slurpers hauled into court

FozzyBear
Bronze badge

The real crime

is that these production companies have released those movies and require payment to watch them. It should be mandatory for a public health warning be attached to any Adam sandler movie.

5
0

Page:

Forums