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* Posts by Morphius

49 posts • joined 11 Feb 2010

Hands up, who couldn't post to Facebook today? Oh, MILLIONS of you

Morphius
Pint

Re: "posting status updates on the free content ad network"

I withdraw my comment on the basis you got there before me....

Bah humbug.... have a pint!

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Google's Street View cars venture inside TARDIS

Morphius

Re: Pulled

Odd, still works for me!

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Logitech launches MEGA-PRICEY 15-in-1 remote

Morphius

These do have advantages

Whilst the new one is too expensive, my One is great. It cost about £110 plus a bluetooth adapter for the ps3 on ebay. Now, when I want to watch a movie, one button press and the tv comes on, the av kit comes on, the ps3 comes on and all are set to the right inputs and working. Even the missus loves it now as there is no digging around for the right remote, no faffing about remembering which input the ps3 is on and which is the sky+.

The amount of devices it knows is brilliant, updated frequently and if it isn't listed then you can just program it in.

And you can even change channel whilst on the phone, something that if using an app on your phone would be much more difficult.

I still think the new one is too expensive though, it looks like the One with inbuilt bluetooth, with less real buttons, something that costs £170 currently (One remote and ps3 adapter for bluetooth).

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Sonic the Hedgehog

Morphius
Thumb Up

Ahhhh, the GameGear

I still to this day have the music from the Jungle level as my ringtone.... and I think I can still see that level if I close my eyes...

Happy times....

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Researcher hacks aircraft controls with Android smartphone

Morphius
Black Helicopters

BOFH predates this...

A few years back BOFH redirected his conference flight from it's boring destination to one with many more cocktails.

Makes me wonder when the security robots are going to appear around here *prepares the pickaxe*

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Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

Morphius

Re: Why not....

Why risk it? Straight bit of motorway, mile or so ahead kept clear by police. Surely, rather than risk the lives of those involved in undertaking this, it is safer to just let the fuel run out which flat out couldn't take that long. Having to clear 000's of miles of motorway fast lane is still cheaper than at least 2 lives lost due to a 100mph+ accident.

However if we are thinking outside the box, a helicopter, with a winch, speed matched to the car, snatch it from the road and then just slow down, keeping the car 5 inches from the ground... The A-Team would have managed it!

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Morphius

Re: Hmmm

In the current megane and clio, the card doesn't have to be put into the dash, having it on your person is enough to start ther car, whereby it isn't needed again (save to keep the car from beeping at you non-stop saying the card is not detected if you take it out of the car). With the car in motion the stop/start button doesn't work, however if you press it twice or more in quick succession is kills the engine no matter what speed you are doing (I tried it to see how dangerous that button was).

My guessing is that if he has hand controls then this could be making the problem much more complicated (assuming he has those) as a button to accelerate or brake could easily be ignored by the car itself. It almost sounds like the ECU is getting confused and thinking any incoming signal is one that suggests go faster.

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Traceroute reveals Star Wars Episode IV 'crawl' text

Morphius

Re: A few corrections

evil..... but funny....

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Greedy Sky admits: We crippled broadband with TOO MANY users

Morphius

Re: As an ex customer

Alas, as a rural customer our internet costs more than the unlimited packages which I expect but it was not made clear when I tested my home number on their website that rural broadband increases the cost above the 8Mb normal price.

I would like to say that they did make a deal with me and we got a good price, but it was still slightly more than I was expecting from their site.

I will however happily refer others to them on the basis that my connection now works as predicted but didnt before.

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Morphius
Holmes

As an ex customer

I have to say I was surprised when I switched. I initially went with Sky because it came cheapest when bundled (I know, I know) and on my 8Mb line got a reasonable 6.5Mb. After the 1st year or so the speed during peak times was too slow to watch standard def iPlayer or youtube. I have switched to a certain Yorkshire based company with annoying adverts and on the day of connection I was able to stream HD youtube whilst downloading updates at the same time for the consoles.

During my time with Sky we tried tech support, tried new routers, filters, pigeons but nothing worked until we switched. After a while and midway through an email exchange their support guys just went silent and ignored any further emails.

I had put it down to them being over subscribed before Christmas so this article doesn't surprise me at all.

Note: I am not associated with either ISP and will point out that we pay quite a lot more for our broadband, something said new ISP doesn't make quite so obvious until you speak to sales, however I would rather pay more for something that works, than save £8-£10 and have it unusable.

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Saucy MINX in a THONG makes GoDaddy's hy-PHWOAR-visors go

Morphius
Joke

Eh? Why are you on about a virtual datacenter?

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BOFH: Can't you just ... NO, I JUST CAN'T

Morphius
Alert

Re: F***ing brilliant @Ian Johnston

"Yes we support people, but that is because those people need our support."

An error there:

"Yes we support people, but that is because those people need our support due to not understanding things such as humour or not reading them to the end"

Point proven above.

I do agree with the article... it is exceptions which lead to unexpected consequences as the system was designed before the exception was requested and usually for good reason.

Everyone thinks they are important enough to need an exception, but are they important enough to take the blame when things go wrong as a result of going against the procedures?

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BOFH: Tenacious B and the Printer of Destiny

Morphius
Devil

Re: Proofreading please

Ahhhh, picking up on spelling errors in a BOFH article... That is very brave.

Now, could you lend me a hand calibrating this Management Interface?

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Five go wild with the Administration Tools Pack

Morphius
Unhappy

"Anne: It says: ‘Your virus-checker downloads an update that causes it to go insane and detect itself as malware. It tries to delete itself on every workstation on site. Helpdesk goes into meltdown. Spend three days trying to clear things up.’

Julian: I must say, that doesn’t sound very likely."

Too soon man.... Just too soon...

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Sophos antivirus classifies its own update kit as malware

Morphius
Pint

Re: Not just the sophos program

This is what we have found... so far the list includes Commvault, Flash, Shockwave, Quickbooks, Dell Server Administrator, Java... (although most of those run, just won't update now)

Sophos issuing instructions on their site to fix Sophos is one thing but the damage this false positive has caused by deleting the updaters is a lot worse. Thank god it happened when most of our PCs were offline so only a handful are going to need work, I pity those on US timezones where their computers were all online.

Beer because I think some people are going to need one!

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BOFH: Shove your project managementry up your mailbox!

Morphius
Thumb Up

Ahhhhhh, that is just what was needed for a Friday morn...

Happy Systems Administrator Appreciation Day to all BOFH out there!

May your users fall silent (ly down a lift shaft) and your PFYs forget about their promotion plans (through dead mans still smoking boots naturally) for the day!

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BBC deletes Blue Peter from BBC One

Morphius

* Mum of pop siren Sophie Ellis-Bextor

"* Mum of pop siren Sophie Ellis-Bextor"

And from the linked BBC article...

"Janet left Blue Peter to have her second child. Rumour has it that she was sacked because she wasn't married to the father, but in actual fact it was Janet's decision to leave. The resulting bairn in question also wasn't Sophie Ellis Bextor. "

Now, in situations like these I refer to the always accurate Wikipedia which agrees with el Reg but not the Beeb....

In this confused state I am worried I will lose track of what is up too *Sits on head*

Surely the Beeb wouldnt be wrong?

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Dell XPS 13 Ultrabook

Morphius

Maybe it is just me but in a business environment, business computers connect using LAN still, wireless is for visitors and people skiving off using their mobiles to read the news.

I am sure my Sales Director wouldn't mind the shiny thing to put on meeting room tables but would keep crossing these off due to simple requirements. VGA/DVI breakout would be nice too for connecting to alien projectors.

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'Asteroid mining company' makes classic hypegasm debut today

Morphius

Re: Red Dwarf

Just keep Rimmer away from the drive plate... I would definately take a penguin puppet onboard though!

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Lords give automatic smut censorship bill the once-over

Morphius

Re: Bastards

Having re-read the article, the age verification requirements are actually on the ISP to prove that the user is over 18. Not that you can only access adult material on sites which verify you as over 18.

I will still agree this is a bad idea and is another database that you shouldnt have to be registered on.

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BOFH: Dawn raid on Fort BOFH

Morphius

Re: I nominate

Wrong way around.... all of the floppy disks readable except the one marked "Rainy Day Plan - keep safe"

The Media that you dont need or want to work ever again always works... the stuff with juicy photos or blackmail matierial always dies :(

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Scammers exploit new Dr Who girl with Twitter smut video

Morphius
Joke

Re: Twitter scams and spam.. not news.

I wasn't too sure about your comment on links. I thought it wise to check so went through our spam traps and clicked on a few of the links in the emails pushing the free videos.

I now completely agree that there are no videos on the sites where these links point to, but at least I didn't get anything nasty on my comp

Click Here for amazing Videos of Dancing gurls

Cheap v1agrers here, fast shipment

Business Opportunity from Mrs Mary Anjumal, click to complete the application

uter. I think I got off lightly really!

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Space probe in orbit above Mercury sees signs of polar ice

Morphius
Coat

"Other revelations include the fact that Mercury's core is huge as these things go, making up fully 85 per cent of the planet, and that its surface is comparatively flat and featureless compared to the mountainous terrain of Earth or Mars."

Wait a second, thats no pla...... ok, ok, I am leaving already!

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Nokia invents teeny throbbing tattoos to make your skin crawl

Morphius

I wonder

Would the level of vibration be dependant on the power provided by the NFC tech? If you were to increase the power significantly would you be able cause the person/limb to shake?

I imagine that going near the Oyster card machines could also be interesting.

This could open new doors for the BOFH

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Mega squid use HUMONGOUS eyes to spot ravenous sperm whales

Morphius
Thumb Up

Re: It is dark.

Ahhhhh, Zork... That brings back memories!

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Finders of lost mobes can't resist staring at privates

Morphius
Meh

Re: Password protect it and you don't get it back.

"I stuck a label with my name and mobile number on the back of mine. Simple."

Awesome, so they can ring the phone that they are now holding. A very random suggestion - of course I assume that you have two mobiles. But then, what happens if you lose both.....

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Windows 8: Thrown into a multi-tasking mosh pit

Morphius
FAIL

The way I see it, if the IT department won't use it, then they won't have the experience to support it properly and as such uptake in most organistations will be slow. For most businesses money talks and for a major upgrade there must be returns, if those returns are financial and time based losses then it should be shot down.

I asked my boss (not of the pointy-haired variety) to shut down my Windows 8 CTP box, it took him nearly 10 minutes to find where the shutdown button was (on the menu that pops out to the right and under settings). He is far from anti-change and knows his way around most computers but was amazed that they had removed such intuative features.

If you want a fun game, get a non-techie and a techie user to race against the clock to shut down the box (without using Ctrl+alt+del as that method at least exists still) - this could even make it into the olympics and provides great entertainment for a Monday afternoon.

Change is good, except bad changes, those are bad.

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Apple iPad 3 'retina display' uses Sharp super-high aperture tech

Morphius
Coat

So you could say...

That the iPad now features Aperture science inside?

Well this was a triumph!

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Mammoths, sabre-tooths MURDERED by second giant space boulder

Morphius

Re: "cosmic impact"

Not any more, Annoyingly.

Now I am leaving, Bonjour

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Workers can't escape Windows 8 Metro - Microsoft COO

Morphius
Thumb Up

I was going to say the same thing. Just checked my build that is behind me. As long as you go the desktop you can control the windows however you want. BUT I still say this is for the touch screens, it took me a while to find the off button, control panel and the such. Most end users would find things if they looked but of course most end users fear change so will just complain and be downgraded.

I really dont see the point of metro on a desktop.

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Two Brits in court over Michael Jackson back catalogue hack

Morphius

Wrong song to sing on the way into court...

Because I'm Bad, I'm Bad-

Come On

(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-

You Know It

(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-

Come On, You Know

(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

And The Whole World Has To

Answer Right Now

Just To Tell You Once Again,

Who's Bad . . .

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Feds unlock suspect's encrypted drive, avoid Constitution meltdown

Morphius

Re: Forgot the key.....

Perfectly reasonable... Caused by *flips over calendar* Solar radiation reflected off of your highly polished boots disrupting the electro signals in my brain, Officer.

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iPad 3 launch news pushes Apple shares to $500bn high

Morphius

Re: Re: Errm...

I would just like to say that I upvoted this... although I did so while groaning!

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Ten... top Android games

Morphius
Thumb Up

Re: Also worth checking out

I do agree with this one... getting all the achievements was not easy.... the kids get a friendly croc to watch and laugh at, and I get hugely frustrated trying to collect 3 ducks on every level!

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Morphius
Unhappy

Ice Breaker

Maybe it is just me, but I can't find this one in the Android Market place and the link on the article also errors!

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Global warming COULD SHRINK THE HUMAN RACE

Morphius

Re: Re: It's already happened

I had heard that Coventry was odd, but this statement just takes the biscuit... "Something about a diet of greasy feet..."

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Third of Blighty stuck on snail-speed broadband

Morphius
Pint

Max speeds are one thing...

How about boosting the capacity of the networks too. I live in a rural location and at midday would enjoy 6Mb on an 8Mb line, come home and run the speed test in the evening / night and have been frequently given less than 1Mb.

Out of interest, how are these figures calculated? Is it purely the best that can be seen with the wind in the right direction and the nearby pub offering free booze and food to tempt everyone away from their connection for an hour or two whilst they are tested?

I imagine that if you created these figures at 7-8pm across an average of 3 week nights then the UKs average would be an even sadder place!

(beer, just because I mentioned a pub)

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BOFH: Moon landings, Pong and the case of the smoking server

Morphius

Re: Now, I am not one to hold a grudge...

Nice!

... "It was only when the "Americas Funniest Home Videos" came on for the 3rd time that he realised he was really in trouble. Those videos are of course enough to make even a sane man scream "to hell with this American nonsense", luckily Kate who used to work reception was now a dab hand with her standard air hostess zip ties and the gitmo style hood"

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Morphius
Thumb Up

Ahhhhhh, Friday

Now, who agrees that next weeks episode will start with a line close to the following:

"Now, I am not one to hold a grudge..."

Please feel free to complete this line in typical BOFH fashion...

"... so I shut off the cameras in the lift before it broke down, after all, no-one needs to see what happens to a PFY when left in the lift for a weekend"

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BOFH: The Cloud Committee Calamity

Morphius

8 other people?

Nah, noone would think to check where the security guards were at this time. They have always been in the BOFH back pocket.

Unless a faint whirring sound was heard shortly before the untimely demise, their last robots were getting much more advanced after all.

<please all imagine the black helicopter icon>

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BT seeks apartment dwellers to sign-up to 'superfast' FTTP trial

Morphius
WTF?

Expensive is fine, IF it was offered. I would accept that the fibre install would be costly but seeing as all 5 exchanges around me were not upgraded from 8Mb and show as not planned for infinity either you actually have no option.

I can't help but think that finishing one roll out would be good, then moving on to the next. But BT would rather upgrade some areas, change the tech and cancel the previous upgrade then upgrade those same first areas again.

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Microsoft renovates Xbox Live dashboard

Morphius

Cloud storage for save games?

Given that save games seem to be using more and more space (I may be wrong but some new games insist on having a hard drive as the save games are so large) surely waiting for 30 minutes at a checkpoint whilst it frantically tries to upload my progress using BT Broadband is not a good idea?

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Leo DiCaprio slated to play Turing in biopic

Morphius
Headmaster

"The ink has already dried on Warners' script deal, but speculation on who might play Turing in a biopic has already begun, coders' mag i-programmer reports."

I always thought the saying was "The ink has barely dried...."

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Biker gang plunders Covent Garden Apple Store

Morphius
Coat

Really?

These two were not members of a bike gang, they were just a couple of bad apples!

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BOFH: Drunken Time Lord

Morphius

re: In RSS Feed

http://feed.theregister.co.uk/atom?q=bofh

Much better to be safe than sorry.... missing a BOFH could put you at a serious disadvantage with your colleagues!

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Channel Islands VAT loophole shut, petrol prices cut

Morphius
Stop

Ti'tle be back....

Unfortunately I choose to live in the country. I rent a small house with my better half who is a student in a city. Based on no scientific research other than my own logic, living in the country side will benefit me by allowing me to breath cleaner air and to buy produce from a nearby organic farm which is some way outside of any cities, hopefully leading to better health and less financial burden on the NHS. I currently drive to work which takes me 15 minutes at approx 50mpg. the nearest train station is 20 minutes away by car which is 20 minutes from my town of work, and then 20 minutes walk. 2 buses a day run through my village and not at the hours I work. Cycling would probably take 1.5 hours to get to the station, only to catch a train that is usually late.

I take my better half to the nearest train station each morning where she catches the train into the city for university. If we were to both use public transport our journey times would increase by 3-4 hours a day, this would fall if bus service was improved but living in a sparsely populated area, a frequent bus service would likely run mostly empty on most trips.

By arriving home at 5:50 rather than gone 7 allows for better free time to rest, and to study in free time to improve personally, this improvement allows for better performance at work and consequently more chance of a payrise/promotion which then leads to more taxes. Reducing downtime due to commuting would also increase tiredness and stress, leading to a decrease in health, causing more lost productivity for my company, leading to less taxes gained.

Of course this doesn't even touch upon the expected rise in cost of food as supplies for farms/supermarkets are not well served by bicycles, unless you are offering to transport 40 tons of food around for people by bike?

Got a fault with your internet, unfortunately fuel is too expensive for the BT van to use any more, so he is conducting repairs by bike now, the waiting list has risen due to only reaching 2 customers a day instead of 20 (hypothetical number, not based on BT tech support figures).

Unfortunately I am not a fan of horses either!

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Red Dwarf's Kryten exposes iPhone number

Morphius
Thumb Up

Do you think he actually said....

"Oh, spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska."

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