Posts by Blofeld's Cat

Anything?

"In a pinch, it can do anything"

OK let's see it put together an Ikea wardrobe. It seems to have the appropriate number of "hands" anyway.

So long...

Asteroids, meteors and comets arrive and the dolphins start leaving. This does not bode well.

Did the dolphins leave a message by any chance?

It's the dressing-gown and towel.

$100k...

Remember it is the broken door they they have to replace.

Broken windows would have cost less.

Interesting...

I had assumed these articles were in response to the average tourist's experience...

"You went on a day-trip to Gibraltar? What did you do in the afternoon?"

No 'Plan B'...

So that will be: "Plan A SP1" then.

Well...

Yavin 4 and ... er ... hang on that's not a moon.

Your cheque is in the post...

Many companies would be unable to pay this amount, in less than three months.

The Accounts Office would first need a business case, three competitive quotes, a review by the budget committee, proforma invoice, two signatures, a purchase order number...

That's assuming they even understand the urgency of the situation.

Success...

" I'm hoping the proceeds of this game will get me a few steps closer to less day job and more game making."

Well so far he has achieved the "less day job" bit...

So...

Presumably the team from Operation Podium will now be able to get back to investigating the official Olympic games ticketing arrangements.

[Waves hand] "These are not the tickets you paid for".

Er...

"Miso Soup Designs' Anti-Loneliness Ramen Bowl"

Is somebody channelling the spirit of Douglas Adams?

<-- You're never alone with the FSM.

Unlike...

So we have an "announcement" of "work in progress" for a product still in "pre-beta" (alpha?), which won't be rolled out widely for at least a year, if at all.

They also don't know how to index all the data yet, or turn it into a business.

Sounds another sure-fire winner to me.

"visited"...

"... the Finnish phone maker told The Hindu it was “visited” by tax officials ..."

Putting the word "visited" in quotes makes me suspect that three ghosts tax officials turned up sequentially on Christmas Eve, wanting to discuss tax past, tax present and tax future.

Hmm...

At first glance they look like a cheap pet for a supervillian, but then you see how much the replacement ink costs.

It has The Kraken Wakes in a pocket.

Prediction...

At 3.6 cm in, the drill bit jams and snaps off, leaving a broken piece 1.2 cm long in the hole.

Curiosity then pauses for a week while the mission crew decide whether to:

• A) Load a new drill bit, select a new target location, clean the new section of rock and try again
• B) Cut the end off the rawlplug and use a shorter screw.

It has the large hammer and some bent screws in one pocket.

Career opportunity...

Perhaps the son could become a professional online assassin.

Evolution in action...

Give sufficient time the Murray-Sunset National Park will gain a new tourist attraction...

Guide: "These bleached bones and rusting vehicles are the Legendary iPhone Users' Graveyard where, for some unexplained reason, large numbers of fanbois came to die."

"Some people say that if you listen carefully on still nights, you can hear ethereal voices saying you have reached your destination."

Phoenix...

Fear not, a new Playmonaut will rise, Stig-like, from the wreck...

Presumably SPEARS 2 will have a drop the payload now button, and/or a flotation device, hopefully in the form of a couple of airbags.

Sounds familiar...

In the twelfth century a grave and lead cross were "discovered" at Glastonbury Abbey carrying the legend "Here lies interred the famous King Arthur on the Isle of Avalon".

The abbey church was being rebuilt at the time. There had been a fire, and the number of visiting pilgrims had dropped off dramatically...

Omissions...

So no space for the retrospective salon-noir* of Manic Mansion, the expressive Dadoism* of Day of the Tentacle, the socialist utopia* of Lemmings or minimalist Zeitgeist* of Colossal Cave?

And where's the serial surrealism* of Monkey Island?

It's the one with the "Dial a Pirate" disk in one pocket.

*I've read art reviews before.

Perhaps...

Perhaps you could have a variant of the "duress code" used by some alarm panels, where a special code disables the local alarm in the usual way, but sends out a silent alarm as well.

In this case payroll.dat would get decrypted, but real_payroll.dat would be silently ignored.

It's OK it's one of ours...

ED-209: "Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply."

Dick Jones: "I think you'd better do what he says, Mr. Kinney."

ED-209: "You now have 15 seconds to comply."

Mistake...

"... they told the police ... but were laughed at and were not believed. ..."

Now if they had told the Kent Police it was eight feet tall and had a camera ...

Yes, it's another knob joke...

"... 'large knob' in frontal lobe ... "

Was it turned up to eleven ?

It has the inch ruler, marked in centimetres, in the top pocket.

Target...

"... the Schroedinger basin ..."

Presumably it will only be determined whether or not the target area will yield good information when the lander arrives there.

It has a catnip mouse in one pocket.

Ancient...

Birkinshaw (Fred Emney) wandered around Turin knocking out CCTV cameras this way in The Italian Job (1969).

I've got my coat but the doors seem to be stuck...