* Posts by cosymart

204 posts • joined 23 Jan 2010

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Ark scoops £700m to host ALL UK.gov's data centre needs

cosymart

OJEU

OJEU - the Official Journal of the European Union. There you go.

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Hated smart meters likely to be 'a costly failure' – MPs

cosymart
Facepalm

SMART Meter For Business

The business I work for had an electricity SMART meter installed last November. Hurray! thought I, no more faffing about each month trying to take a reading in a dark cabinet. Contacted the supplier... "So, now that you have a SMART meter installed here you won't require monthly readings from us? Oh no we need those to continue for at least another year, as although we are rolling out these meters we don't have the software to interface it with our billing system." What!!!

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In assault on American values, Lockheed BLASTS PICKUP with RAYGUN

cosymart
Megaphone

Re: @4ecks - If we can solve the power supply issue…

@ Graham Marsden

No just lots of people who wished that cyclists would read and obey the current highway code.

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cosymart
Mushroom

Re: input vs. output

(Challenger Tank) And 120mm HESH & APDS shells! Not forgetting the 2 machine guns. Who needs a laser?

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HP Services engineer dispatch tool 'broken', say engineers

cosymart

Chickens coming home....

Let me get this right, there is a major IT company implementing a major internal IT solution that is slurping up funds and the target end date is slipping to the right. Why does this not surprise me, they are obviously using the same consultants as they foist on everyone else! Ha! :-)

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I, ROBOT ~ YOU, MORON. How else will automated news work?

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: The robots are amongst us

"What I'd like to find now is a sort of reverse Turing test, one which will tell the difference between a call centre agent and a badly programmed bot."

Simple, I can understand what a badly programmed bot is saying.

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In praise of China’s CROONING censors: Company songs NOW!

cosymart
WTF?

Don't

Don't give up your day job....on second thoughts this is your day job, oh dear.

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Big Data, empty bellies: How supermarkets tweak prices just for the sake of YOUR LOVE

cosymart

Re: individual pricing

For that you need Google Glass and access to your bank.

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Your gran and her cronies are 'embracing online banking' – study

cosymart
WTF?

POA is easy

Getting a POA was easy, just a matter of knowing a good solicitor. Getting my mothers bank, Halifax, to accept it and set up/change the accounts was worse than pulling teeth. At one branch when I presented the certified signed copy quote from the branch POA expert "I am sorry I can't accept a copy" me "why" him "because I need to feel it, to check it is real"....What!? I could go on....

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Doctor Who's tangerine dream and Clara's death wish in Last Christmas

cosymart
Holmes

Re: A female doctor possible?

I think we need River Song back.... The Doctor needs to meet his wife again, that would give Clara something to choke on :-)

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Alfa Romeo Giulietta Quadrifoglio Verde: Fun, but not for all

cosymart
Happy

If you want POWER!

If you want a fun? drive try an artic power unit, amazing to drive and more power than you would ever need. The forward/back rocking motion is interesting.

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Last chance for Xmas Cash'n'Carrion goodies

cosymart
WTF?

Classic

The lovely Fenke is not even modelling the Classic Register T shirt.... Don't you want to flog anything? Bah, humbug!

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

cosymart
Thumb Up

USS Ponce

I thought that this was a wind up...There really is a USS Ponce. Named after an American lobbyist by any chance? :-)

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So this Saudi Prince calls and asks why he can't watch movies ...

cosymart

Re: Users...

But not then....

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cosymart

Users...

Conversation that I have had more than once. "I cannot open any Word documents or spreadsheets. What are you trying to open them on? An iPad, I just cannot get them to open. Did you check before you bought the iPad that things like Word would work on it? I didn't know that I had to, my friend had an iPad and says it is wonderful and she takes pictures with it so I had to get one." Puts phone down in exasperation....

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Give nerds their own PRIVATE TRAIN CARRIAGES, say boffins

cosymart
Megaphone

Really Hard Living in London

"The same could certainly be said for any poor soul attempting to get to north London via the capital's woeful commuter train services."

Think yourself lucky you have some form of transport, most folks outside the M25 have to rely on cart tracks and charabancs. I do wish the whiners in London would lift their eyes up from their newspapers or smart phones from time to time and join the rest of the UK!

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Amazon DROPS next day delivery amid Cyber Monday MADNESS

cosymart

Ordered Friday Arrived Today

Ordered via standard delivery and the items arrived this morning. What's the fuss about?

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Japan pauses asteroid BOMBING raid – still no word from Bruce Willis?

cosymart
Facepalm

Clangers

I trust the asteroid has been/will be checked and cleared to ensure that no Soup Dragons or shiny clad mice have colonised it? Wait a minute, they are hoping to collect "organic" material, ye gods we could be over run with aliens with squeaky voices!

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Hi-torque tank engines: EXTREME car hacking with The Register

cosymart
Thumb Up

If I Recall...

If I recall correctly from my time working on Centurions. The Meteor engine, because of it's aero background, had 2 magnetos (1 for each V side) rather than normal distributors. Setting these up to be correctly synchronised was a b****er and more of a black art than engineering.

The sound of this engine is something to behold especially if the mag settings were slightly out as you then had the classic belch of flame and loud burp of the backfire...lovely :-)

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SKYPE has the HOTS for my NAKED WIFE

cosymart

Re: I've found the one time a YouTube video helps

Re Haynes manuals...lost count of the number of times they glibly say "just remove X" but fail to say how!!

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Sky ponders 200,000-customer MVNO 'trial'. Soft launch, anyone?

cosymart
WTF?

Re: MVNO; Mischievious Vultures Need Opiates?

So will someone please tell me what MVNO means as the article fails in that respect.

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Vulture trails claw across Lenovo's touchy N20p Chromebook

cosymart
Happy

Re: Where's The RAM?

In the field with the sheep, probably doing what rams do best...

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Doctor Who becomes an illogical, unscientific, silly soap opera in Kill The Moon

cosymart
Facepalm

It's Dr Who

Let me get this right...

A reviewer is complaining about the non-science in Dr Who. This is a series that has as it's basic premise 1) An alien who is a "Time Lord". 2) Who is hundreds of years old. 3) Happens to look like humans. 3) Regenerates and changes his appearance totally. 4) Lives in a machine that can go forward and backwards in time. 5) Said machine looks like a police box yet is infinitely large on the inside.

Come on!

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Apple tool: Buying an iPhone in a carpark? Find out if it's STOLEN

cosymart

Re: "Bloke said not to open box until he leaves"

Chips, yummy.

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Heatmiser digital thermostat users: For pity's sake, DON'T SWITCH ON the WI-FI

cosymart
Meh

Reverse Engineer

Is a reverse engineer someone who can take things apart but is unable to put them back together again? I used to work with lots of these :-(

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Wanna keep your data for 1,000 YEARS? No? Hard luck, HDS wants you to anyway

cosymart
Facepalm

1,000 years

Load of bollocks. How do you prove it? Just look at the technology and sociological advances made in the last 1,000 years. Look at the equivalent from c1080. The Doomsday Book, this was written in Medieval Latin and was highly abbreviated and included some vernacular native terms without Latin equivalents. So, it was written in ink on velum? and we still cannot read/understand all of it.

How many words and abbreviations in regular use in various Navies (vernacular native terms seems quite apt :-) ) will be understood in 100 years time let let alone 1,000 years.

Anyone paying good money for 1,000 year archives needs to invest in quality paper, ink and people who have legible handwriting! Oh, and add a dictionary to the list of things to be transcribed :-)

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General Motors issues STOP DELIVERY for 2,800 corvettes over defects in 2015 model

cosymart

Time Warp

Bit like Garmin issuing their map version 2015.10 in spring 2014. Confusion or what!

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Fanfare of trumpets as LOHAN reveals mission patch

cosymart
Facepalm

Ditto the UK

Yes, my first thoughts were why the USA in the background. Should be UK or Western Europe.

Methinks that someone has dropped the balls. Come on Lester own up, you were so blinded by bodette Fenke Foss and her attributes that you failed to check the details. :-)

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Microsoft KILLS Windows 8.1 Update 2 and Patch Tuesday

cosymart
Megaphone

Broke

@Hargrove - 'Whatever happened to "do it right the first time" and "If it ain't broke, don't fix it?"'

"do it right first time"!!! You mean you have never used any Microsoft software, or to be honest any software of any substance. If software suppliers produced cars it would look like a CV2 and arrive with no wheels, you would never be able to trade it in as you don't actually own it.

It is broke and they are struggling to fix it :-( The only issue as I see it is that Microsoft's definition of broke is somewhat different to yours and mine.

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We sent a probe SIX BILLION km to measure temperature of a COMET doing 135,000 km/h

cosymart
Headmaster

Re: Celsius?

@mr.K - You are missing the fact that a Metre is a unit of measure and a meter is a device to measure with.

I will just get my coat out of the meter cupboard :-)

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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

cosymart
Happy

Tip

Just to change the topic ever so slightly....

If you ever have call up one these awful telephone systems, you know: press 1 for contracts, 2 for payments....etc. Just press the # key, human every time :-)

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You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary

cosymart
Facepalm

Aware

All advertising does is make people aware. So lots more people will soon be aware that there are alternative methods of obtaining digital media with little or no penalties.

Is this really the message they want to be putting out?

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True fact: Your CAT wees ... like a racehorse

cosymart
Holmes

Needs to be asked.

Is there a difference between male and female pee times? Given the above discussion and the fact, now established, that the length of the urethra is critical females should pee for a shorter time? Or am I missing something here?

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You need a list of specific unknowns we may encounter? Huh?

cosymart
Holmes

Re: Anyone familiar with the Peter Principle

The trick here is to recognise that point in your own career and swiftly take early retirement based on that pay level.

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Apple is KILLING OFF BONKING, cries mobe research dude

cosymart
Happy

Re: Shift in Thinking

@Don Dumb Thank you for your enlightenment. As a 60+ person I may fit into your Waitrose elderly persona. On that topic I have noticed that I seem to be one of the few people to use the self-scan system that they have. Now that does same time.

Getting back to bonking...If my Waitrose shopping bill ever came to under £20 I would bonk like mad! :-)

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cosymart
WTF?

Shift in Thinking

I have had a pay by bonk card for ages. Never used it as the only tills I have seen it at have been at the larger shops/department stores. After having queued to arrive at a till I now have a choice:: Cash? Card? or Bonk? Not knowing the fine detail of the pay by bonk or indeed if will it work I use either cash or card.

I have no desire to look like a plonker waving my card and the cashier giving me strange looks (well, no more than normal) :-(

Why not stick a small unmanned pay by bonk till by the exit with bullet point instructions for idiots (me) to reduce the normal queues?

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Tech that we want (but they never seem to give us)

cosymart
Mushroom

Re: What tech do you want that industry does not deliver?

Add to that software that does not need patches to make it function as it should.

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cosymart
Facepalm

If cups kept the beverage at the served temperature when would you be able to drink it? Ditto the scalding hot cheese in the pizza. Idiot!

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Look, pal, it’s YOUR password so it’s YOUR fault that it's gone AWOL

cosymart

Why would I want to keep ass?

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Boffins debunk red wine miracle antioxidant myth

cosymart
IT Angle

To aid science

To aid medical science I fully intend to continue drinking red wine and when I clog it donate my body for them to examine. What we need is a control group of non-drinkers who will also donate their bodies. Any takers?

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Hey, does your Smart TV have a mic? Enjoy your surveillance, bro

cosymart
FAIL

Smart TVs

Try and buy a stupid TV, nigh on impossible. Quote from my local TV dealer, "all TVs are smart these days" :-(

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Hey sailor, fancy putting your hands all over a NeRD fondleslab?

cosymart
Holmes

Network

Even if it did have wireless it wouldn't be a lot of use as a sub must as near a perfect Faraday cage as it is possible to build.

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Passport PIN tech could have SAVED MH370 ID fraudsters

cosymart
Joke

Re: Lost or stolen (or dead)

You mean as well as clearing up the blood and disposing of the body I have find the passport and send it to the passport office. Oh you didn't mean executer...my bad :-(

My coat is the one with executor instructions in the pocket along with the bloody knife. A bloody dictionary would be better!

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'Mommy got me an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000 for Xmas!' South Park: Stick of Truth

cosymart
Holmes

Re: Girls

Lots of people have degrees, many have more than one. Does not necessarily mean that they are any good at anything in the work place. What is wrong with working at a hotel? One of my friends started working at a hotel and is now finance director of an international hotel chain.

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PSST! New PCs with Windows 7 preinstalled are out there – and will be into 2015, at least

cosymart
WTF?

Sell it to me

Perhaps it because I a bit long in the tooth, but if someone is trying to get me to buy something I expect them to sell it to me. You know the carrot, oooh buy this because it will do this; quicker, better, less errors etc. All I am getting is "move to Windows 8 because XP is being pulled". Great incentive! So just what is better about the latest offering? Do tell, don't be shy.

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LOHAN's handsome young autopilot springs into life

cosymart
Childcatcher

Re: Don't forget

Speaking of foreign shores... What you also need then is an automatic flag slider (Think 007 number plates on the Aston Martin DB5). This could be linked to the GPS and programmed to change when crossing the border. We don't want our hero Playmonaut to be banged up for illegal entry.

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BT scratches its head over MYSTERY Home Hub disconnections

cosymart
Thumb Up

I like Virgin(s)

To put the other side of the coin I have the combined router/modem/hub/thingy from Virgin and it has been perfect from the day it arrived. Full house coverage, no problems.

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Chaps propose free global WiFi delivered FROM SPAAAACE

cosymart
Happy

Vision

I cannot get rid of the vision of an ISS astronaut opening a window and chucking a handful of small cubes out and then carefully closing the window. Bizarre :-)

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Mail Migration

cosymart
FAIL

2nd Migration

So having migrated your mail system once, your organisation presumably made the wrong choice or the perimeters changed. The phrase "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" springs to mind. I also foresee blood on the carpet; users are involved :-(

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Twitter: It's JUST LIKE Elder Scrolls (no it's not)

cosymart

Re: most of them looking younger than the apps on my iPhone ?

If it is not Mole Station then what is it?

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