Trades Descriptions violation

I saw the words "Orlowski" and "Twat" and immediatley clicked. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered it referred to Andrew not Teresa........

Bye bye Dell

Hasn't one trick pony Turd lined his pockets from other people's misery enough?

The CEO equivalent of Pol Pot.

If the HP Board is interested.......

.......I have some magic beans for sale. $3Bn a bag, guaranteed profit makers, honest.

Call me, Yah?

Bugger

It's a shame that LG have no tablet or mobile plans. I have two 32GB Touchpads and I love WebOS. It's fast, intuitive and simple to use. The email GUI is great and very simple to set up. I tried Android on one of them and took it off again, it was so slow and cluinky in comparison.

The only real WebOS weakness for me was that the native ability to play back movie formats was very limited. But that was easily remedied with an app that cost less than £5.

The Touchpad was a great opportunity missed for HP purely because it was overpriced at the time. Shame.

Next CEO?

Howard Hughes. He knows how to build morale, generate business, staisfy customers and motivate people

They've got form

HP CEOS are very good at pissing money up the wall and then pointing fingers later. Palm, EDS and now Autonomy were all bought in a rush and all have been subject to write downs since. A pity they aren't so impetuous when it comes to staff reward.

How the hell do Govt expect to get economies of scale and buy IT as an entity when they insist on ridiculously fragmented contracts in order to give an impression of competitive tender. Particularly when the civil servants in charge are incapable of managing complexity

Sorry gents but yoursaying "we expect our suppliers to be joined up" does not relieve you of all risk and responsibility. Your contract, your problem

Clueless

HP failure is nothing to do with the unions hamstringing management. HP have spent and lost about $50bn on EDS, Autonomy, Palm, Vertica etc in the last 5 years. They have invested nothing to build the services, instead they have ripped out cost without thought about what that cost represents (revenue earning staff) and imposed process to stifle.

$10b spent on Autonomy and they let the entire management team that represents the value of that investment walk away! Outrageous. Palm is quite literally written off in the Touchpad debacle. EDS has had zero investment, they bought it to take the profits but have zero idea of how to use it or build it effectively. Vertica is another one that was bought and the boss left. All were bought as CEO vanity pieces as CEOs, particularly Mark Turd fought to be bigger than IBM. Pointless.

HP is a hardware company but it's products are nothing special. Where is the R&D, where is the innovation? There is none. The two biggest markets right now are Tablets & Smartphones. HP offer neither. Laptops etc are commodity kit, people buy the cheapest not the badge.

Bin the hardware division like IBM did, it's a low margin distraction. Maybe keep servers, but build the Autonomy/EDS Services piece. Set some direction. FFS

As an HP employee, rightly or wrongly, I really don't care whether the allegations are true or not. The mere fact that they were the catalyst for removing his cancerous and destructive management style as well as getting his ample snout away from the bonus pot is good enough for me.

kerchinngg

Seeing as ebay are continuing to make a damned sight more in commission on Touchpad sales than HP have managed to write off then maybe the new CEO choice was inevitable

So what do we get now?

..................another slash and burn merchant like Hurd? or is she actually going to stabilise and build something worthwhile.

I was quite happy in EDS. What the hell did we do to deserve that we ended up badged as a part of this chaotic mess.

Not even available on EPP

HP have probably urinated the $1.6bn, spent on Palm, up the wall here. Or lets say £7k per worldwide employee.

Yesterday you could not see them on EPP. This morning there were listed at £106 for a 32GB or £69 for a 16GB version on the EPP site. All a waste of time when HP were out of stock anyway.

So staff get F'all pay rises again as HP try to recoup the loss per unit of over £100, the write off on dev costs of future hardware and potential write off if WebOS doesn't find licencees.

All that and we don't even get first sniff of the bargain.

Mark Turd bought Palm. I hope Leo has a plan and this and the float offf of PSG is a brave decision that makes HP strong rather than the cock up it seems to be right now

Simple

All they need is a a few pints, some peanuts, their beacon, a towel and a copy of HHGTTG.

Larry is God amongst men

They should follow the Pharoahs lead and ensure that Hurd is buried with him when he goes.

Preferably still alive.

Legend

How about prosecuting the passenger for being a dick head?

Birds of a feather

Does Ellison treat Oracle like his personal Fiefdom too then?

Hurd falsified expenses and, if you believe the story that he and Fisher have agreed on, didn't even get a jump out of it.

Hurd had to go. It's just a pity it wasn't a lot sooner and that he didn't get to go to jail.

Bye Bye - I'll fetch your coat

£17m? Try $42m in 2008!

The world's greediest autocrat, sorry multi-tasker (President, CEO & Chairman) has gone. The fact that it the allegations include his having made financial mistakes is just the icing on the cake.

I never thought that Mark Hurd would do anything to make me feel like I couldn't wait to get back to work on Monday.

I stand corrected.