* Posts by Robert Ramsay

572 posts • joined 25 Sep 2006

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When Capita job ads go BAD

Robert Ramsay

more common than you might think...

Just type "Yorkshite" into Google :-)

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JFrog's marriage made in ... well: Internet of Things, meet DevOps

Robert Ramsay

I thought the guy's speech was actually a bot.

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So. Why don't people talk to invisible robots in public?

Robert Ramsay
Meh

I don't understand

They seem perfectly happy to shout their heads off in a phone conversation!

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Hacked in a public space? Thanks, HTTPS

Robert Ramsay

Costa Wi-fi

Last time I tried to connect to the local Costa wi-fi, it wouldn't even let me establish a secure link to Google. Needless to say I fired up my phone's hotspot instead.

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Radiohead vid prompts Trumpton rumpus

Robert Ramsay

Life On Mars got there first.

Is it Gene Hunt? Is he beating up a nonce?

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Remain in the EU and help me snoop on the world, says Theresa May

Robert Ramsay

Guess What?

The EU are in the process of deciding whether our mass surveillance is illegal or not. I'm guessing this is what her rubbish dog-whistle is actually about. Unless she really wants to torture prisoners.

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FOUR Avatar sequels

Robert Ramsay

Unobtanium?

Fuckoffium more like!

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Ad slinger Phorm ceases trading

Robert Ramsay

As Michael Palin put it in "A Fish Called Wanda"...

"Good."

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Mystery Kindle update will block readers from books after Wednesday

Robert Ramsay

Re: Not very user friendly

I have two keyboard Kindles in my house - one of them updated without a hitch, the other one stubbornly refused and had to be USB'd into submission...

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Why should you care about Google's AI winning a board game?

Robert Ramsay

As Emo Philips said...

"Luckily, it proved not to be so proficient at kick boxing..."

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You say you're an Ansible expert, wise guy? Come and prove it

Robert Ramsay

As Douglas Adams put it:

"Have you found a solution?"

"No - but I've got a NEW NAME for the problem!"

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Eurovision Song Contest uncorks 1975 vote shocker: No 'Nul point'!

Robert Ramsay

Good idea!

Just a shame they had to wait until after Terry Wogan died! He stopped presenting it because of the dodgy voting blocks...

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What would happen if Earth fell into a black hole?

Robert Ramsay
Trollface

Black Hole Firewalls

...or we might all vanish in a brief puff of smoke...

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/black-hole-firewalls-confound-theoretical-physicists/

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US rapper slams Earth is Round conspiracy in Twitter marathon

Robert Ramsay

So this is where we are...

To get publicity for your career, you have to look like an enormous dickhead on purpose instead of by accident, as is usual.

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Four Boys' Own style World War Two heroes to fire your imagination

Robert Ramsay

Despite helping found the KKK...

Nathan Bedford Forrest. Sorry to copy from Wikipedia, but...

" In the battle of Fallen Timbers, he drove through the Union skirmish line. Not realizing that the rest of his men had halted their charge when reaching the full Union brigade, Forrest charged the brigade single-handedly, and soon found himself surrounded. He emptied his Colt Army revolvers into the swirling mass of Union soldiers and pulled out his saber, hacking and slashing. A Union infantryman fired a musket ball into Forrest's spine with a point-blank musket shot, nearly knocking him out of the saddle. Forrest galloped back to his incredulous troopers. A surgeon removed the musket ball a week later, without anesthesia, which was unavailable."

" In December 1862, Forrest's veteran troopers were reassigned by Gen. Braxton Bragg to another officer, against his protest. Forrest had to recruit a new brigade, composed of about 2,000 inexperienced recruits, most of whom lacked weapons. Again, Bragg ordered a raid, this one into west Tennessee to disrupt the communications of the Union forces under Grant, which were threatening the city of Vicksburg, Mississippi. Forrest protested that to send such untrained men behind enemy lines was suicidal, but Bragg insisted, and Forrest obeyed his orders. On the ensuing raid, he showed his brilliance, leading thousands of Union soldiers in west Tennessee on a "wild goose chase" to try to locate his fast-moving forces. Never staying in one place long enough to be attacked, Forrest led his troops in raids as far north as the banks of the Ohio River in southwest Kentucky. He returned to his base in Mississippi with more men than he had started with. By then, all were fully armed with captured Union weapons."

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From alchemy to brain-hacking: How to be better, forever

Robert Ramsay

Brainhacking

So magick is becoming "respectable" now they are calling it "brainhacking"?

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Linus Torvalds targeted by honeytraps, claims Eric S. Raymond

Robert Ramsay

That photo...

Which one's him?

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Robert Ramsay

"Armando Iannucci's TED talk on reincarnation was well received"

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It's 2015, and someone can pwn Windows PCs by inserting a USB stick

Robert Ramsay
Happy

Thank you for this useful service

Please can you do this list every Patch Tuesday? It's really good to see the list of fixes without having to go back and forth to Microsoft's KB for each one.

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Virtually no one is using Apple Music even though it is utterly free

Robert Ramsay

Re: No thanks

your ipod on shuffle play must sound like Spike Jones and his City Slickers! :D

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Cops turn Download Festival into an ORWELLIAN SPY PARADISE

Robert Ramsay

We've bin spendin most our life

...livin in an Orwellian spy paradise...

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A 16 Petaflop Cray: The key to fantastic summer barbecues

Robert Ramsay

Misunderstanding

I thought you meant the Cray ran hot enough to cook your BBQ on it...

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Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

Robert Ramsay

Bwahahahaha!

Remember, kids, being a fuckwit is independent of race, creed or colour!

Although one of these three will give you a head start!

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FBI to WordPress users: patch now before ISIL defaces you

Robert Ramsay

Requires a valid nonce?

I hope it's just my out of date terminology knowledge...

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Faux ‪pro-IS Facebook‬ shot down within hours of launch

Robert Ramsay

That photo you used...

...always makes me think "We're the knights of the round table, we dance when e'er we're able..."

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'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

Robert Ramsay

I put in another vote for Scrivener. It's cheap, designed for the job and you can use it on more than one of your own machines.

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TalkTalk may begin making 'Three style' low-cost mobile moves

Robert Ramsay

I just hope the poor fucker in the picture got paid loads for having to do that pose :-/

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WATCH IT: It's watching you as you WATCH IT (Your Samsung telly is)

Robert Ramsay
Terminator

"I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, Dave"

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Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

Robert Ramsay

Re: GIF

"Have you come far?"

"I hit the headboard once."

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Robert Ramsay

Re: whatever to the great British tradition....

I just tried to retweet that.

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'Revenge porn' bully told not to post people's nude pics online. That's it. That's his punishment

Robert Ramsay

Please please get his hairy bumhole face off the front page.

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Hola HoloLens: Reg man gets face time with Microsoft's holographic headset

Robert Ramsay

Re: "You hold a fist in front of your face, raise a finger vertically, then roll it back down."

I believe this is what you are looking for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtuuFppENS8

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Robert Ramsay

Please could you make the active link cover the whole top bar and not just the bit in the middle with the text on it? Ta!

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Boffins: We have found a way to unlock the MYSTERIES OF SHEEP from old parchments

Robert Ramsay

Full marks

for the excellent phrase "peeling a handy sheep"

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You stupid BRICK! PCs running Avast AV can't handle Windows fixes

Robert Ramsay

Anti-virus

Can anyone recommend Windows antivirus that doesn't suck donkey balls and/or suck up all your resources?

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Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

Robert Ramsay

Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

...again...

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'You have no right to see me NAKED!' Suddenly, everyone wakes up at the Google-EU face-off

Robert Ramsay

Re: Actually

Could I see a picture of him clothed before deciding?

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Tim Cook: The classic iPod HAD TO DIE, and this is WHY

Robert Ramsay

I'm getting a Fiio X5 for my birthday.

That is all, thank you.

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

Robert Ramsay

My hotspot is called "Google Surveillance" and no-one's ever bothered me at an airport :-)

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Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

Robert Ramsay

I really enjoyed it.

And I didn't roll my eyes once. Lots of excellent, inventive bits. Mixing humour and horror like the best stuff. And the monsters were genuinely scary and exciting. And it's taken me until last episode to realise that I didn't like Clara because she was previously (and probably will be again) written TERRIBLY. These last two episodes she actually came over as an actual person.

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Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape

Robert Ramsay

Re: NIght Light

God bless wikipedia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birdhouse_in_Your_Soul

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Antarctic ice at ALL TIME RECORD HIGH: We have more to learn, says boffin

Robert Ramsay

I like to think that all the warming we're doing is counteracting a new ice age which we should have had by now :-)

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'Bill Gates swallowing bike on a beach' is ideal password say boffins

Robert Ramsay

"Where now for Mark Zuckerberg raised by badgers?"

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Three photons can switch an optical beam at 500 GHz

Robert Ramsay
Joke

But...

...what happens if any of the three photons falls out and rolls under the sofa?

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Moto 360: Neat gizmo – if you're a rich nerd

Robert Ramsay

Purposes

since phones are now getting way too big, put it on vibrate and shove it up your arse?

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Wearables market set to EXPLODE... Wait, is that a STRAP-ON chair?

Robert Ramsay

As opposed...

to a chair with a strap-on...

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Robert Ramsay

Heh.

"Oh noes! My inalienable right to behave like a dick is being naysayed by the VERY PERSON I'm paying money to see! The horror!"

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eBay bans CD sales of metal band Burzum, citing offensive material

Robert Ramsay

Re: I don't get the complaints about Mien Kampf

Hasn't Boris Johnson said he might be standing again? Just saying.

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PEAK LANDFILL: Why tablet gloom is good news for Windows users

Robert Ramsay

Asus Transformer

...is what you're describing. runs Windows 8.1, comes with Office, has an SD slot for extra storage...

I don't work for Asus, but I do like the machine a lot...

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Microsoft's Black Thursday: XBox Live goes down as XBox Studio canned

Robert Ramsay

Get Indiana Jones

"We have top men working on it."

"Who."

"Top - MEN."

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