* Posts by Robert Ramsay

549 posts • joined 25 Sep 2006

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FBI to WordPress users: patch now before ISIL defaces you

Robert Ramsay

Requires a valid nonce?

I hope it's just my out of date terminology knowledge...

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Faux ‪pro-IS Facebook‬ shot down within hours of launch

Robert Ramsay

That photo you used...

...always makes me think "We're the knights of the round table, we dance when e'er we're able..."

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'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

Robert Ramsay

I put in another vote for Scrivener. It's cheap, designed for the job and you can use it on more than one of your own machines.

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TalkTalk may begin making 'Three style' low-cost mobile moves

Robert Ramsay

I just hope the poor fucker in the picture got paid loads for having to do that pose :-/

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WATCH IT: It's watching you as you WATCH IT (Your Samsung telly is)

Robert Ramsay
Terminator

"I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, Dave"

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Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

Robert Ramsay

Re: GIF

"Have you come far?"

"I hit the headboard once."

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Robert Ramsay

Re: whatever to the great British tradition....

I just tried to retweet that.

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'Revenge porn' bully told not to post people's nude pics online. That's it. That's his punishment

Robert Ramsay

Please please get his hairy bumhole face off the front page.

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Hola HoloLens: Reg man gets face time with Microsoft's holographic headset

Robert Ramsay

Re: "You hold a fist in front of your face, raise a finger vertically, then roll it back down."

I believe this is what you are looking for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtuuFppENS8

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Robert Ramsay

Please could you make the active link cover the whole top bar and not just the bit in the middle with the text on it? Ta!

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Boffins: We have found a way to unlock the MYSTERIES OF SHEEP from old parchments

Robert Ramsay

Full marks

for the excellent phrase "peeling a handy sheep"

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You stupid BRICK! PCs running Avast AV can't handle Windows fixes

Robert Ramsay

Anti-virus

Can anyone recommend Windows antivirus that doesn't suck donkey balls and/or suck up all your resources?

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Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

Robert Ramsay

Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

...again...

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'You have no right to see me NAKED!' Suddenly, everyone wakes up at the Google-EU face-off

Robert Ramsay

Re: Actually

Could I see a picture of him clothed before deciding?

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Tim Cook: The classic iPod HAD TO DIE, and this is WHY

Robert Ramsay

I'm getting a Fiio X5 for my birthday.

That is all, thank you.

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

Robert Ramsay

My hotspot is called "Google Surveillance" and no-one's ever bothered me at an airport :-)

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Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

Robert Ramsay

I really enjoyed it.

And I didn't roll my eyes once. Lots of excellent, inventive bits. Mixing humour and horror like the best stuff. And the monsters were genuinely scary and exciting. And it's taken me until last episode to realise that I didn't like Clara because she was previously (and probably will be again) written TERRIBLY. These last two episodes she actually came over as an actual person.

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Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape

Robert Ramsay

Re: NIght Light

God bless wikipedia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birdhouse_in_Your_Soul

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Antarctic ice at ALL TIME RECORD HIGH: We have more to learn, says boffin

Robert Ramsay

I like to think that all the warming we're doing is counteracting a new ice age which we should have had by now :-)

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'Bill Gates swallowing bike on a beach' is ideal password say boffins

Robert Ramsay

"Where now for Mark Zuckerberg raised by badgers?"

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Three photons can switch an optical beam at 500 GHz

Robert Ramsay
Joke

But...

...what happens if any of the three photons falls out and rolls under the sofa?

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Moto 360: Neat gizmo – if you're a rich nerd

Robert Ramsay

Purposes

since phones are now getting way too big, put it on vibrate and shove it up your arse?

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Wearables market set to EXPLODE... Wait, is that a STRAP-ON chair?

Robert Ramsay

As opposed...

to a chair with a strap-on...

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Robert Ramsay

Heh.

"Oh noes! My inalienable right to behave like a dick is being naysayed by the VERY PERSON I'm paying money to see! The horror!"

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eBay bans CD sales of metal band Burzum, citing offensive material

Robert Ramsay

Re: I don't get the complaints about Mien Kampf

Hasn't Boris Johnson said he might be standing again? Just saying.

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PEAK LANDFILL: Why tablet gloom is good news for Windows users

Robert Ramsay

Asus Transformer

...is what you're describing. runs Windows 8.1, comes with Office, has an SD slot for extra storage...

I don't work for Asus, but I do like the machine a lot...

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Microsoft's Black Thursday: XBox Live goes down as XBox Studio canned

Robert Ramsay

Get Indiana Jones

"We have top men working on it."

"Who."

"Top - MEN."

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Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE DNS outage

Robert Ramsay

Heh...

I'd forgotten I'd switched over to OpenDNS until I read this story...

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Hey, remember the iPod Touch? Apple just did

Robert Ramsay

I still want my 1TB iPod "Classic"

That is all, thank you.

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Yes. App that lets you say 'Yo' raises 1 MEEELLION DOLLARS

Robert Ramsay

Sign up here...

to provide VC capital for my new app "Fuckoff" - unique chance to get in at the ground floor!

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iOS 8 to PROBE your GUTS and your HOME

Robert Ramsay

Re: Why did I read that as

You're lucky - I ALSO read the guy's name as "Ferenghi"

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Spy back doors? That would be suicide, says Huawei

Robert Ramsay

They didn't say it wasn't true...

...only that no-one had proved it.

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Firefox biz Mozilla makes Beard new interim chief executive

Robert Ramsay

A beard...

Is also a slang term for a woman who a gay man goes around with to throw people off the scent...

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NZ bloke's drunken poker bet ends in 99-letter name

Robert Ramsay

No 16 Bus Shelter

Sadly, it took me a few seconds to realise why you might want to call your child that.

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PM Cameron leaps aboard Internet of Thingies

Robert Ramsay

Share and Enjoy

"Did your robots rebel against you?"

"Oh, no, worse than that - they liked us!"

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'Leaked' iPhone 6 pics will make cool fanbois WEEP - it's a PHABLET

Robert Ramsay

that's what the iWatch is going to be for!

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Apple won't bag HUMUNGOUS 4G deal... 'cos China HATES plastic iPhone 5C – analyst

Robert Ramsay

Glad to hear...

...that the Chinese can tell a rubbish deal when they see one...

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Sky rapped over PREMATURE SEXY CONDOM ad

Robert Ramsay

I thought of Peter Serofinowicz

This voiceover was found to have "heightened the sensual nature of the ad".

"Frrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaan...?"

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Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

Robert Ramsay

Glad he was none the worse...

...and I see the Register's obsession with genital mutilation stories is unabated...

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Brit inventors' GRAVITY POWERED LIGHT ships out after just 1 year

Robert Ramsay

I saw it and read "Gravity powered light ships" which is WAY more exciting.

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Google: YouTube fights off HUGE ASCII PHALLUS MENACE

Robert Ramsay

If you want to clean up YouTube...

...you will only do it by eliminating morons.

So let us know how that goes.

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Chinese prof brands gamers no better than drug dealers

Robert Ramsay

Drug dealers?

Drug *users* shurely?

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Om-nom-nom-nom! Google's Cookie Monster DEVOURS MORE DRIVES

Robert Ramsay
Coat

OmNomNom

This means that the operating manual is the dread OmNomNomicron.

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POWER SOURCE that might END humanity's PROBLEMS: A step forward

Robert Ramsay
Happy

"Humanity has briefly achieved artificial fusion reactions, but sadly only in H-bombs"

The advert underneath said "Harness the power of flash"

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Want to BUILD YOUR OWN Tardis? First, get a star and set it spinning...

Robert Ramsay

Dark Matter

Dark matter is the gravitational effect carried over from parallel universes. This leads to the prediction that the "amount" of dark matter measured will increase over time, as universes split and split again with regard to the time axis.

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IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! Google's secretive Omega tech just like LIVING thing

Robert Ramsay

Re: Name

I worked for one company where the username format was first name followed by first initial of last name. We had one developer called Chris whose surname initial was T.

"Do not worry about this problem - Christ will fix it"

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Adobe exec puffs cloud shop: Online features are so 'compelling'... What are they again?

Robert Ramsay

It must be terrible

Saying the same rubbish things to people day after day when you know they aren't true, and the only reason to do it this way is purely to make more money.

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HP 100TB Memristor drives by 2018 – if you're lucky, admits tech titan

Robert Ramsay
Coat

Tim Robbins isn't looking well.

<runs away>

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Please, PLEASE, Skype... Don't kill our apps and headsets, plead devs

Robert Ramsay

Obligatory XKCD reference

http://xkcd.com/1172/

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Diamonds are forever POURING down on Jupiter, Saturn - boffins

Robert Ramsay

"It's very uncertain what happens to carbon down there."

To sail the diamond seas of Saturn

A boat of tungsten under me

To know that deep below the land

Metallic hydrogen forms a second sea

Or perhaps the crushing forces

Turn the diamonds into jam

superconducting nanotubes

arrange themselves the best they can

A billion years of buckyballs

that reproduce and stick and spread

Giant neurons, giant brains

A gas giant for a giant head

And one day as old HAL comes cruising

A million miles, drifting by

Following signals most perplexing

The Great Red Spot will open, like an Eye.

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