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* Posts by Capt John Yossarian

14 posts • joined 18 Jan 2010

Lock up your Crackberries

Capt John Yossarian

err...

BlackBerry's do have that function. Under setup, select owner info and you can stick a tag line in the info field, after Owner Name.

"a reward is available if found. fred@tixylix.com"

That will appear on the lock screen.

I've previously lost a BB and had it returned from the bar in question (it's either that or a cab!) the next morning.

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Apple iPhone forums gripped by deleted thread paranoia

Capt John Yossarian
Thumb Up

har de har

Excellent - post of the day!

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Apple denies iPhone 4 antenna glitch, blames inaccurate signal bars

Capt John Yossarian
Grenade

Patronising twat....

Balls. I live in the North East and travel extensively and have pretty good 3G coverage a high percentage of the time. Hell, even when dicking about on my boat, I can get coverage on both 3G cards (O2/3) and CrackBerry (O2) when about a mile offshore. Whenever I visit Canary Wharf, I get fuck all reception and am reduced to GPRS.

Still, I keep a box of pigeons handy - an iLoft, so I can keep in contact with my masters in London Villiage.

oooh aaaaarrrgh

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AOL offloads Bebo - for 'exceptionally uninspiring number'?

Capt John Yossarian

mmmm

I worked for company sold to AOL for over £75M and sold two years later for around £8M

How about that for shareholder value?

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Wreck of 1930s flying aircraft carrier dubbed 'historic'

Capt John Yossarian
Paris Hilton

wow

...Want one

Paris, 'cos she famously went down also...

(I'll get my coat)

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iPad forces operators to shave their SIMs

Capt John Yossarian
Troll

hehe

"setting a president with this device enables.."

Nose bubble moment...

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Playmobil throws down animation gauntlet

Capt John Yossarian
Paris Hilton

Debbie does Dallas?

Surely someone must have thought of that one...

Paris, 'cos she has similar acting abilities...

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Teen attacks father in Fifa 2009 fight

Capt John Yossarian
Coat

You couldn't make this shit up...

Perhaps the kid is naturally a little shit and the game incident is merely a manifestation of his chav tendencies.

Can't wait for the Mail or Express to get hold of this one!

Mines the one with the machete in the pocket - always handy for board (bored) meetings...

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Brits left cold by mobile internet

Capt John Yossarian
Troll

Prices...

I've got a fairly cheap tariff with O2 - about £34 per month that gives me unlimited usage. In the 2.5 years I've been with them, I've never been charged for any excess. Only time you get stuffed for excessive usage is if you use phone as modem - hence why I got 3G card for tablet.

There are a plethora of sites that are mobile friendly, so I can happily check news, travel, weather and tides - very useful for me. I live in the North East and rarely get a GPRS only connection, so happily browse on 3G.

As with Bracken Dawson, I use it all the time as do many friends and colleagues. I dont use Facebook or Twitter as I don't feel the need to see constant updates from people informing me of the colour of their toast or the shape of a particularly "funny" cloud. Pointless, IMHO.

I use 4 email accounts and can happily get all emails, work and social, pushed to me. As a climber/hiker/sailor, having stuff like Googlemaps with aerial photos/maps as well as real-(ish)-time weather has been invaluable a few times for planning/decision making.

Far from being a Jesus Phone type, I feel this sort of technology is complimentary to my lifestyle and is certainly useful, just like my SwissTool or a Maglite, but not the focus of my life.

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Airport scanner staff object to vetting

Capt John Yossarian
Coat

Techy Question...

Don't know the spec of these systems or the type of interface that the person doing the scanning will use, but there does seem to be a rather *big* assumption that the interface will have some USB connector and an interface to allow whoever is using the scanner to save images to a memory stick or similar. Would be incredibly dumb if this was the case.

I would imagine that the person doing the vetting would have some facility to trigger an alert which tags the image and the relevant details to some kind of superdoopervisor system to allow escalation of the individual concerned. It would be staggering if these systems didn't have simple audit trails built in to determine who's accessed what and when.... QinetiQ strike me as exceptional clever buggers and I can't think they'd overlook this sort of functionality. Any BA worth their salt would have spotted this sort of numptiness at the earliest stage of product whiteboarding.

From what I've seen of security systems at airports in US, UK, EU and Middle east, they're typically proprietary boxes and don't look like the sort of systems to deploy a "right click moose and send to Interweb/Facebook/Sun" functionality. Some of the hyperbole here and elsewhere seems to be nothing more than, er, hyperbole...

Mines the one that reeks of common sense...

ps Thanks Lionel Baden - BTW - any relation to Dusty Bin Laden? I think we should be told...

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Capt John Yossarian
Unhappy

WTF

Surely these people are already vetted for the work that they carry out? It would beggar belief if that was not the case.

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More problems for Apple's top desktop

Capt John Yossarian
Megaphone

PC vs Mac

*Sigh* here we go again.

As a tech professional, I'm sick to the back teeth of this sort of shite. Believe it or not, there are many of us who are platform agnostic - you use the best tool for the job.

Mac's are outstanding when it comes to design and grafix etc and PC's are excellent at doing a whole raft of stuff for both commercial and home users. That's it.

Is there a need for constant bitching between people on this and many (repeat ad infinitum/nauseam) other sites? No there isn't.

Mac users - accept that sometimes products will have faults or simply don't meet the hype surrounding them.

PC users - accept that there are other platforms out there intended for specific users and uses.

Personally, I've used computers since late '70's - PDP's, Apple II's, iMac's, more PC's than you could shake a shitty stick at and ludicrous number of servers/mini's and mainframes. Hell I can remember Xerox's Worm (so named 'cos it took chunks outta Apples! - circa 82-ish).

They're just stuff for doing stuff. Hell you might as well get into a hissy-fit over whether a Ryobi Router is better than Makita or Trend (queue jokes..). They're simply tools and not a golden ticket to the afterlife or a cure for AIDS or a miracle penis enlarger.

Flame on!

Yossa

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SFO abandons case management IT

Capt John Yossarian
Paris Hilton

Balls...

Having spent many years in the past developing Case Management systems for the legal market in UK, there are a variety of different legal practice areas that require the logging of ridiculous amounts of data. Class action suits, such as Zebrugge Disaster, AIDS infections through infected blood etc spring to mind. These sorts of cases generate staggering amounts of data as well as requiring a raft and other evidence to be stored with the case. Typically these cases are not focussed on a single "client/claimaint" which ramps up the scale a tad. Sadly, these cases also last for years. The SFO requirement is not exactly unique in many respects.

I would also argue that a good deal of CM systems are not CRM based. CRM is typically a single view of a customer across an entire enterprise/business and their interactions with said biz, whereas CM, er, isn't..

Paris because her relationship management is at best, dodgy

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Discrimination warning over airport body scanners

Capt John Yossarian
Unhappy

Who cares

I've got a passport with biometric doodads and God knows what data on it. I've been fingerprinted and given retinal scan at La Guardia. I've had a DNA swab taken by UK Plod for being stupid with driving under influence. There is a plethora of data on me held in a ridiculous number of governmental and commercial systems.

None of this bothers me at all. Surely I can't be the only one around who doesn't give a flying fuck about all of this. Let them scan my balls all they want.

My only concern is would I be arrested for indecency if all this attention on my member made him rise to the occasion! I think we should be told...

ps Does this mean I can't take a stash with me on my jollidays abroad anymore?

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