Posts by Fluffykins
576 posts • joined Tuesday 22nd May 2007 08:53 GMT
Posted in 4G auctions - illegal and immoral?
I still wonder why not a model like UK TV transmission
One or two companies providing mast infrastructure (Eliminates multiple masts in similar locations) providing transmission servcies to the mobile teleco operators, who could then concentrate on shafting^h^h^h^h^h^h^h serving customers and punting the latest phones.
Facebook?
BLOODY FACEBOOK?
The same porous organisation that I wouldn't trust with my personal data even if I was impersonating a non existent person, with someone else entering the data on a PC that was switched off and disconnected from the Internet .
Yeah right.
About as likely as a Marmite laser.
Posted in Danish embassy issues MARMITE WAFFLE
Carlsburg and Tubourg
Is that the same thing I have come to know and detest as Near frozen Gnat's Urine (TM)?
You don't NEED titles in the Afterlife.
Yay, Apocalypse HAS happened an' we're all in the doo doos.
At least I think so. I'm pretty sure this isn't my usual office I'm sat in. I'm almost certain it's hell with fluorescent lighting.
Frikkin' Lasers on a BMW?
Get the idiots to drive propelrly, THEN give 'em the toys!
Posted in BOFH: Every silver lining has a cloud
Take your damn' title and shove it. Sideways.
"performing my own testicular surgery with a hole punch and a 100watt soldering iron"
Megacoffeesplurge moment - and that's coming from someone with a 4" vasectomy scar (Long story which will cost at least a pint)
Posted in Jupiter's Io a hotbed of lava
Well
"Satan was actually a settler who lect the ship before it arrived on earth and went to live on Io with his weird 3 headed space dog."
You've met the wife's mother, then?
Is that an intentional Sarah Palin-ism?
I think it IS intentional. Unless you'd like to repudiate the theory.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/blog/2010/jul/19/sarah-palin-refudiate-new-word
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Refudiate
RE: Some twat HAS stolen my infrastructure!
S'alright.
Found it.
Posted in Amazon splatters ads to cut Kindle price
It's not the ads. It's what's at the other end.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/02/28/tainted_ads_blight_uk_sites/
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/03/28/spotify_tainted_ad_follow_up/
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/03/25/spotify_malvertisement_attack/
Fork in electrics
I've often said that.
Posted in Tie me customer down, sport
The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.
It always amazes me how positive comments are, amongst people in the marketing industry, about practices which many people find objectionable or intrusive.
Pretty much all of us are at the receiving end of some sort of profit making business, it's important to understand how we view them and how the owners can improve them because (this is the key bit) if your company isn't doing this and their competitors are doing it successfully then your company is going to take a hit.
Then there's the professionalism bit. You work on web projects, if you don't understand the user's side of this then how on earth am you going to educate the business idiots you work with (because they mostly don't understand this stuff)? Just because we don't like something doesn't make it rubbish. You don't like being marketed at, and I can assure you that it doesn't work with me and as long as it doesn't you'r going to need to understand these user preferences so that your company can make more money and you can demand a bigger share of it.
------------------
I can assure you that I didn't buy my car from one particular garage purely because I was marketed at.
I can assure you I earmark companies sending useless and claptrap promotions as 'not preferred'
I can assure you that I have an 0871 phone number I give out where I can't avoid providing one.
I hope you don't generate Flash advertising: I can assure you that the actions of a few mindless advertisers with irritating and intrusive animated web adverts (Including Mercedes who I would have expected to know better) are the reason I run Firefox and AdBlock Plus. Of course, minimalist adverts with lots of white space definitely never have worked, do not work, never can work. Just ask Google.
Posted in Tie me customer down, sport
nyaah nyaah
Got my bile in first!
I heartily agree with you, though.
Posted in Orange offers HTC Desire sequel
"Orange has pre-loaded the handset with its Mail and Maps apps."
No, no, no, no. What you meant was:
"Orange has borked a perfectly good handset by mindlessly shovelling in a shitload of useless, branded apps, trial versions of games and "features" which with its incompetent marketing droids have decided that you want."
They have probably compounded their utter stupidity by making their crudware impossible to delete - Even the fucking trial versions of useless apps.
Fortunately I have an excellent ZTE blade (San Francisco) which has been rooted, unlocked (who the hell wants the 'benefit' of Orange's customer indifference^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h service) and the useless bloatware taken off and it's now a prefectly serviceable phone.
Rant
I really, really don't understand why phone operators routinely sod up perfectly decent phones with their preconception of what users want, in the first place and then make it impossible to get rid of..
When you look at what they actually offer by way of a 'User experience', its actually pretty insulting. Little wonder that debranded hand sets command the best prices. Maybe the retarded marketing droids are assuming everyone else thinks in the same cockeyed way as them.
/rant
Posted in Tie me customer down, sport
A neat summary
In one article you have managed to gather together most of the things I find really offensive about being marketed at.
The special offers that aren't actually special. the mindless email reminders - "oh, we haven't heard from you for a long time" (Maybe, just maybe, it's because I didn't have the need or desire to contact you!)
If I want something, I'll go out into the marketplace and have a look.
If I've done business with a company once, I generally know who they are, what they do and how to reach them and I'm perfectly happy to leave it at that.
Having a company ramming itself down my throat is usually a very good reason to look elsewhere. If they are prepared to be that irritating at the time they should be trying to impress me, just how badly would I be treated once I'd been suckered in and the need to impress was less?
Title be buggered.
"'User experience' is something 20 pints of Guinness and a kebab with chilli sauce gives you."
Something that should be beaten repeatedly into every snotty little advertising consultant droid human race disqualificant, preferably using one of his own legs.
Posted in Microsoft wraps Windows 8 in Ribbon UI?
I comment thus, in an exciting new format:
change accepting of incapable be must you then it like don't you if Obviously, format. new a in comment a provide I'd thought just I
Posted in Microsoft wraps Windows 8 in Ribbon UI?
Antiquated UI or shiny new UI?
I don't give a shit. I just want somehting I can use effectively.
And Office 2k7 isn't
Posted in Microsoft wraps Windows 8 in Ribbon UI?
FFS! The Office 2k7 ribbon is painful enough!!!
After the sheer pain that was - and is, even many months down the line - the Office 2k7 ribbon then please, please tell me this is all a horrible dream.
If MS really, really thinks the Ribbon UI is really desirable, then why not offer it as a downloadable add-on for people who like to think they are geeks and who don't give a shit about productivity.
If the ribbon is so good, the servers will be swamped with people downloading it.
Just like Yahoo toolbars are readily downloaded by all and sundry.
If I want half my screen covered in useless crap, I'll just get a wad of postit notes and use them.
Summat like this?
Extinction of Flames in a Nonuniform Electric Field http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~db=all~content=a777865619
That's a bit wordy. Personally, I prefer 'KZZZZRRRTTT!'
Honesty seems to be patchy.
Check this out:
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20263-japans-record-of-nuclear-coverups-and-accidents.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news
Alternatively
Come up with something that isn't an industry standard and use it often enough so it becomes an industry standard - at least, a standard in everything from your industry.
Like iPhone/iPlayer connectors.
OK. I'm not a Vermin customer, but I'll pay £ unlimited per month*
* subject to a fair use policy of 50p
Gits +1
I almost second that
just pay "Up to" the monthly fee.
Benevolent but.....................
wouldn't it be a great way of assembling a database of who was linked to whom?
Posted in Sheep as smart as humans: Official
Can you also please ask
What is the speed of a sheep in a vacuum?
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/08/24/vulture_central_standards/
SHAMpoo?
Hey, I got money. I can afford REAL poo.
Only if
You are Paul Daniels
Of course he had to stay in the orbiter
Two's company, Tree's a crowd.
Old news?
29th March 2010: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/infotech/ites/csc-under-scanner-for-exploiting-indian-it-professionals-in-denmark/articleshow/5736717.cms
Posted in Bank scorched by stupid Facebook policy
thermonuclear shit explosion
A nice wireless keyboard, please.
Posted in Punters 'pooh-pooh video on demand'
It is an example of
A huge range of choice but, when it finally comes to the crunch, next to nothing worth choosing.
You don't have to go the USA to find naff ideas like that
The NHS is bury looking at getting a close relationshipe with Facebook.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/11/24/nhs_connect_facebook_privacy_fears/
One word:
Farcebook
Posted in Malawi poised to outlaw farting
BOTTIE!!!!!!
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWBUl7oT9sA
Posted in Forget Flash – content is king
Went and had a look at the site.
That's EXACTLY what I'd want. Straightforward, simple and what I'd hope to find as a pretty damn good Internet Experience.
You can stick flash
Sideways.
Posted in Forget Flash – content is king
"Full Internet Experience"
I have used commercial sites with Flash and sites without Flash. As a general rule of thumb, the more Flash content there is, the fouller the "Internet Experience" becomes.
You sit there while several hundred kB of some marketing driod's notion of what you find appealing grinds out of a server and wings its way down to you with a nice, reassuring downloading animation.
Eventually the edifice plays and you realise that, no, it's not any relevant infomration, it's just a landing page with a hapless animation about just how marvellous the latest promotion is.
One of the worst offenders is the motor industry. In the end I siimply gave up with the nice, glossy flash based marketing tripe that passses for real, usable product information. It was so slow, so unpleasant.
Please, PLEASE PL f-ing EASE, less Flash/Silverlight and the like.
Let's have a "Full Internet Experience" by all means, but lets make it a pleasant one: Nice, tidy HTML; no bloody flash ads, no bloody Flash promos, gimmicks and the like; no mindless marketing; no web 2.0 hrea.
DO tell me clearly and succinctly about the product. DON'T show me dumb your marketing department is.
ICT?
I thought we'd decided that IT was called ICT only by people outside the industry.
@Aristotle etc.
"Depends if you were trying to lick them all in one go"
Do you mean all of Paris Hilton or all the postage stamps.
just curious
I think you are talking about
The Blank Constant*
*The reaction most people give to anthromophicisations** of large units, especially when one anthromorphic unit is substituted for another
**set out in terms intended to relate to the human experience***
***Excluding Paris Hilton now decent 3D TVs are available and assuming the imminent availability of a decent USB Groin attachment.
I still don't get it.
"began showing showing ads to netizens based on the pages they had visited in the past."
OK. that tells the advertisers what you were interested in yesterday/last week/last month. It sure as hell doesn't tell them what you will be interested in NEXT, does it?
The other thing I don't get is why the hell anyone in their right mind would be expected to cick on an advert link or one in an emailed ad? You can't tell for sure a) who actually placed the ad, where the link actually goes and c) what's at the other end. As a case in point, I have just checked out a nasty little piece of work purporting to come from Samsung, as part of a footie themed promo. Samsung say its nowt to do with them and are 'investigating'
Posted in Matrix 4 and 5 in works, threatens Keanu
OK: Title?
The Matrix: The Reboot?
The Matrix Rebooted
The Matrix: What does this button do?
The Matrix: Don't.....Oh shit.
I'd have thought this was proof
She's already had one.
I've got a mirror from the 1940's
Is that enough of a retro-reflector?
Very good Sir
Or madman
Trialling a stomach camera?
Now, THAT takes some guts.
