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* Posts by elawyn

23 posts • joined 8 Jan 2010

NASA robot plans mid-2020s trip: Europa. Wet, radioactive life forms (hopefully). Bliss

elawyn
Alien

HAL-9000: [message relayed from monolith] All these worlds are yours, except Europa. Attempt no landing there. Use them together. Use them in peace.

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Dr Hurricane unleashes FUSION POWER at Livermore nuke lab

elawyn
Mushroom

Can someone let me know when they get it small enough to sit on the back of a De Lorean?

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Short-staffed website swaps DOGS for DEVELOPERS

elawyn
Happy

Can someone let me know if Playboy ever come up with something similar to this 'rewards' idea?

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Colombian boffins reconstruct flight path of Russian meteor

elawyn
Alien

Are sure it wasn't launched from Klendathu?

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Asteroid miners hunt for platinum, leave all common sense in glovebox

elawyn

Is there a market?

I'll happily buy their first 50 tonnes of platinum, delivered Earthside at $30 per tonne!

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Brit boffins' bendy bamboo bike breakthrough

elawyn
Coat

I made something like this as a kid. Except I decided it needed a motor as well, so I made a wooden motorcycle.

Wooden wheels, wooden frame, wooden petrol tank, wooden engine.

Sadly tho, it wooden go.

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Facebook 'personal' news feed gets algorithm rejig

elawyn

It could be worse. They could be posting just the first few words of all your friends updates, then when you click on 'more', you get "And first, a word from our sponsor with an exciting new offer!" and you have to sit through some marketing droids feeble attempt at a flash animation for a product you'd never buy.

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LOHAN: She's low orbit and helium assisted

elawyn
Alien

orbit

Strictly speaking, anything that goes 'ballistic' *is* in orbit, just not a complete orbit. If you stand in your garden and throw a rock, it goes 'ballistic' and starts to fall under gravity. The faster you throw it, the further it goes. Throw it at 7 miles per second and it's in an 'escape' orbit. Any slower and it's in a 'decay' orbit.

Semantics, gotta love them!

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'3-2-1 ... Good Morning Atlantis!'

elawyn
Facepalm

Welcome home Atlantis.,,,

All the crew on the ground should dress up in ape suits so that when the crew land and look out the window, everyone is an ape.

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HP's Hurd quits quickly on sexual harassment probe

elawyn
WTF?

I'm in the wrong job.

Give me $ 17m, plus shares. I'll resign immediately after sexually harassing anyone!*

* except Mrs Bee. I'm not so stupid to risk that, I'd prefer to keep whatever parts still work firmly attached.

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Miracle-tech that could fix almost everything: Major advance

elawyn
Alert

Sharks with lasers

1. Equip shark with laser powered by a superconducting battery charged to 1.21 gigawatts.

2.....

3. Profit

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London hospital hosted grumble flick shoot

elawyn
Joke

Coming soon...

The 2011 'Naughty Nurses of the NHS' pinup calendar.

Probably given away free to the unemployed. DVD costs extra (possibly covered under BUPA)

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PARIS in hot glue gun action

elawyn
Joke

wooden wonder?

I once built a car out of wood. Wooden wheels, wooden gears, wooden engine and so on.

It wooden go!

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Medical diagnoses for 130,000 people vanish into thin air

elawyn
FAIL

unencrpyted?

wtf?????

Straight violation of Hipaa Privacy and the little known Hipaa security regs. If I remember correctly, that's a $50k fine PER, plus up to ten years in 'club fed' *just*on the privacy part.

On the security part::-

1.2 Penalties

CEs that do not comply with the Security Rule requirements are subject to a number of penalties. Civil penalties are $100 per violation, up to $25,000 per year for each requirement violated. Criminal penalties range from $50,000 in fines and one year in prison up to $250,000 in fines and 10 years in jail.

Good grief, that's a 1996 regulation!

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Pakistani lawyer petitions for death of Mark Zuckerberg

elawyn
WTF?

seems a simple answer is needed

Cut Pakistan from the Internet completely.

btw, here's my pic of Mohammed, in a dark coal mine. To save bandwidth it's only one pixel

.

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Mobiles back in the frame as bee killers

elawyn
Joke

wel of course it did

instead of making honey, the bees were too busy giving each other a buzz!

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X2 triple-twirly speedcopter approaching 180 knots

elawyn
Happy

so...

if it goes faster and faster, eventually ALL the rotors will stop spinning?

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Robothopter in biomimetic butterfly boffinry breakthrough

elawyn
WTF?

This won't do

Mr. President, we can't afford a biomemitic butterfly gap!

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US Navy's plane-hurling mass driver in tech hiccup

elawyn

Gratuitous pop culture reference

Insert Star Trek comment...

"Captain, we need to reverse the polarity on the Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System"

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El Reg insults 'millions of Irish Catholics'

elawyn
Joke

onishiko

"wait, there's a US Site?"

Yes, it's a dumbed down version of the UK one!

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NASA's WISE opens 'candy store of images'

elawyn
FAIL

"move it to one side?"

You mean, move it a few thousand light years to one side? :)

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Buster's World gives Guardian Professional balloon-sized headache

elawyn
Thumb Up

appropriate name?

schools secretary Ed Balls

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Controversy rages over robot vasectomy reversal in Florida

elawyn
Terminator

I for one welcome our

un-snipping robot sterilization reversing overlords!

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