Re: Die Java Die
You've been reading too much Reddit. Those criticising Java in 2016 tend to be the ones who left it behind at Java 6 and early JEE, or hate static typing in general.
Modern Java doesn't compare. The new closure syntax and streaming API is enough to satisfy 90% of use cases where FP is needed. There are a ton of Sinatra-like libraries for writing small lightweight microservices, and the ecosystem, which was already vast, has only got bigger since v6.
I've had to move to Node/JS. I'd move back to Java in a flash if I could.