9 posts • joined Thursday 31st December 2009 20:18 GMT
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All you people going on about Google and Microsoft. We should never forget the real enemy - Apple! Simply replace Google for the Romans and Apple for the Judean People's Front and it all makes sense (the Popular Front is of course Palm).
Reg: “ The only people we hate more than the Romans are the f**king Judean People’s Front.”
Stan: “Yeah, the Judean People’s Front.”
Reg: “Yeah. Splitters.”
Stan: “And the Popular Front of Judea.”
Reg: “Yeah. Splitters.”
Stan: “And the People’s Front of Judea.”
Reg: “Yea... what?”
Stan: “The People’s Front of Judea. Splitters.”
Reg: “We're the People’s Front of Judea!”
Stan: “Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.”
Reg: “People’s Front!”
Francis: “Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?”
Reg: “He’s over there.” [points to a lone man]
Reg, Stan, Francis, Judith: “SPLITTER!”
New MS search will add value
"I mean, if someone is looking for Mary Telford (just a random name) then when they find a few matches, they'll open each one in a new tab and then go through the tabs, closing the ones that are not the person they're looking for."
While typing in "Mary Telford" a little paper clip will pop up and say "I see you're searching for new victims to stalk. Have you tried groomingfornewbs.com?". In this way Microsoft make their pennies on the click and the user gets a better service. This is why MS are the world's largest tech corp. They give you what you want even if you don't want it.
Why be so surprised?
Apart from the bucketload of fail Apple have already dished out in the last 24 hours, having no iPad iBooks in the UK is actually a blessing.
Did you see St. Steve's demo of this? $12.99 per book sale from his nickel and dime bookstore? That will easily equate to £12.00 here in Blighty. You can go to Amazon and pick up the same book in old-fashioned paper format (otherwise known as "The iPulp" a few centuries ago) for half the price.
OK, you don't have it always on demand via your back-lit jesus-pad, but you never have to worry about running out of juice to use it, you get less eye-strain, you can fold a page over when you want to "bookmark" it, you save a shed-load of money compared to the shiny digital version, you can sniff it, you can loan it out to someone, you can resell it if you need the beans, you look less of a tit reading it.
The benefits are almost infinite. Thank you Apple for sparing the old world from this. Now, if you could run along and get back to concentrating on brilliant operating systems and put the "we're a mobile company" aside, you'll make a lot of your old admirers so much happier.
In years to come
the OED will use this event as a definition of "fail". I'm an Apple fan but this is simply a disastrous event.
I almost feel sorry for old Stevie.
"Hey everyone, the netbook stinks, what you need is a bigger iPod Touch! We'll provide everything you need (at a price) and don't worry if it multitasks like a sysadmin on a Friday afternoon - you and it will look very cool!!!
Just look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes.
"iTunes doesn't turn a profit" ?
A source would be welcome. Everything I've read seems to indicate that iTunes makes a stash of cash. The iPhone is probably a big help there.
Words can have multiple meanings
1, ( Chimera) (in Greek mythology) a fire-breathing female monster with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail.
• any mythical animal with parts taken from various animals.
2, a thing that is hoped or wished for but in fact is illusory or impossible to achieve.
I suspect the author was referring to the second definition. The first definition is usually abbreviated as "Vista".
that there doesn't seem to be any Orwellian references to 1984 in that article. Maybe it's just a given these days.
Apple are definitely Big Brother in any future dystopia, though Google run them a close second. This is from someone who uses iMacs for fun, Unix for work, and Google Apps and email cos they are brilliant.
Use them, abuse them, just don't lose them to the data miners.
Oh, and before we lose sight of the big picture - thanks to RIPA 2000 your data is intercepted in realtime right now between your client and the "cloud" by legally compliant ISP's. THAT is much scarier than anything being proposed on the west coast of a fading superpower, and it's being going on for a decade.
Happy New Year.
- Xmas Round-up Ten top tech toys to interface with a techie’s Christmas stocking
- Google embiggens its fat vid pipe Chromecast with TEN new supported apps
- Microsoft: Don't listen to 4chan ... especially the bit about bricking Xbox Ones
- Shivering boffins nail Earth's coldest spot
- Exploits no more! Firefox 26 blocks all Java plugins by default