* Posts by Ugotta B. Kiddingme

730 posts • joined 23 Dec 2009

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SpaceX blast-off delay

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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to paraphrase an old mariner's blessing

Fair winds and [calm] seas

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Paying a PoS*, USA? Your chip-and-PIN means your money's safer...

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: The ones who've adopted Chip 'n Pin

Last three times I've used my chipped debit card (at retailers who actually HAD that function enabled), I've entered my PIN and not a signature. In fact, I cannot recall a single instance of signing when using my chipped card - granted this is a debit card which takes directly from my checking account and not a traditional credit card where one pays the bill at end of the month.

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Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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The most frustrating thing to me

are all the retailers who have the new readers capable of taking chip-n-pin cards but also sporting a hand-written sign saying "chip reader not operational yet, please swipe your card." If the reader had been installed last week, I could understand. However, yesterday I explained to the manager of the grocery I use that I would no longer shop there because those hand-written signs were still in place SIX MONTHS after the readers were installed.

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Engineer uses binary on voting bumpf to flag up Cali election flaws

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: Boaty McBoatface

Donald Trump is Shouty McShoutface.

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Must listen: We've found the real Bastard Operator From Hell

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Go

<standing ovation>

Oh, bravo! With pub o'clock in two hours, this has made my Friday. Thank you! </standing ovation>

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Rampant robot tries to rip my clothes off

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: Bah!

Well I, for one, liked it and thank you for providing it. As someone who came of age in the late 70's, I enjoyed Kraftwerk and even used their lyrics to attempt to improve my laughably bad German. My girlfriend at the time was somewhat disillusioned when I explained that the lyrics to one of their biggest hits were simply "We drive, drive, drive on the motorway."

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UC Davis chancellor suspended after headlines like this one undo $175,000 online name-scrubbing efforts

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Trollface

is this a new twist on or corollary to

the Streisand Effect? Perhaps we could call it the Indirect Streisand©®™. The article seems to indicate they were trying to pad positives to balance out negatives - as opposed to a more conventional Streisand Effect; i.e. the results from attempting to actually REMOVE negatives.

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SpaceX: We'll land on Mars in 2018 (cough, with NASA's help)

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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on the plus side

Wall-E um... Sarcastic Rover will have a place to put all that stuff it's been collecting.

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Samsung's little black box will hot-wire your car to the internet. Eek!

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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I'll pass, thanks.

"But the bigger question of course is: why do car owners actually want a connected car?"

Well, silly, to make it even EASIER for ne'er-do-wells to hack into my vehicle.

"The main advantage of the device, according to Zinchenko, is that it might enable you to get smaller insurance quotes – because the company would be able to see how safely you drive."

More likely, 'because the company could use that data against you to deny claims, etc.' Especially when one remembers how Samsung got caught gathering privacy-invading data via their smart TVs and the like.

"That's going to be a very, very hard sell to consumers."

On the one hand, I'd call that El Reg's understatement of the year so far. On the other hand, looking at electoral results I see that people will fall for pretty much anything so this will likely garner "Product of the Year" honors or somesuch...

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What do you call an old, unpatched and easily hacked PC? An ATM

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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physical intrusion

while I can't speak for the rest of the world, here in Yankville, most (not all, but most) ATMs by "major" banks are "through the wall" where the user has no access to USB or network ports. I consider those highly tamper resistant and they are the only type I will use. The ones you have to be very wary of are those in convenience stores/chemists which are free-standing devices. In addition to the often exorbitant fees associated with those, you have no way of knowing who has accessed the innards and tampered with it. I avoid those except in dire cash emergencies. And given that my chip-and-pin debit card works almost everywhere, very little qualifies as a dire cash emergency.

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Brainwave-controlled drone racing is here

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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not exactly "exciting" yet BUT...

it's a decent start. Who knows, in a few years, this could translate into an extra head-mounted widget on your Oculus or other VR headgear and become a really fun, cool, and immersive experience.

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US intercepts Bermuda Triangle bubble podule

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Darwin and Davy Jones

were in a heated round of Rock/Paper/Scissors to see who got first crack at Baluchi when interrupted by USCG "spoil sports"

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'Impossible' EmDrive flying saucer thruster may herald new theory of inertia

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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question

given that this is using microwaves to produce propulsion, might we need to be careful where the thing is pointed? Could be problematic at the other end of a journey when you turn round to decelerate. I can't remember which scifi author used something like this - using a ship's exhaust as a weapon to the roast a planet on approach.

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Soyuz to loft Sentinel-1B Earth-watching sat

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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assembly

"The Russian horizontal assembly method... is a lot simpler than hoisting everything up for vertical mating, "

Well, if you don't have handy a giant building with enormous cranes built specifically for that purpose, then I suppose horizontal would be decidedly simpler. NASA opted for the megabuilding to assemble the Apollo rockets. At one time, it was the largest building (by volume) in the world. I went there as a child (unfortunately narrowly missed one of the latter Apollo launches). The scale of that building and the crawler which transports the assembled vehicles to the launch pad boggles the mind.

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NASA injects cash into solar electric motor

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: @Alistair

If you manage to generate 1.21GW and get it down in size/weight so as to be vehicle-portable...

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NASA spools up ultra-high def aurora movie

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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fiery streak at 4:48 mark

Bottom center of the screen. Is that a slow-moving meteor or space junk burning up on atmospheric entry or a rocket launch, presumably headed for the station?

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Obama to admit Moon landing was faked?

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: Not similar at all

"The Saints were 25-1 to win the Super Bowl at the start of that season, not even the longest odds in the NFL as there were a few teams at 100-1."

That may be, however the 43 long and often humiliating years we fans suffered through prior to our moment of glory cannot be downplayed or overlooked. There are only nine NFL teams older than the Saints who've never won a Superbowl. And of those nine, only two (Cleveland Browns and Detroit Lions) have never at least MADE IT to the Superbowl *. New Orleans Saints were good enough (and lucky enough) to win it on their first try. Many of the other 43 seasons were SO bad that fans often went to the games with paper bags over their heads.

* IIRC, the Minnesota Vikings hold the dubious record of "most Superbowl appearances without a victory" at 4.

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Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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similar thing over here a few years ago

Until fairly recently, one of the most hapless teams in the NFL (American football) was the New Orleans Saints. The two most unlikely things in the universe were hell freezing over and the Saints winning the Superbowl. Late in the evening of Sunday February 7th, 2010, there were an awfully large number of people (myself included) who had to suddenly cease saying "[extremely unlikely event] will happen when the Saints win the Superbowl." I even heard rumor that the local newspaper briefly toyed with the headline for Monday's edition. Instead of "SAINTS WIN!" they briefly considered "HELL FREEZES OVER!"

Even better were the large number of outrageous bets that suddenly became payable. "I'll do [ridiculous/dangerous/stupid thing] when the Saints win the Superbowl."

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Chilling evidence emerges of Kilocat weapon

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Coffee/keyboard

simple comedic timing

"The challenge of how to guide 1,000 cats from altitude to a floating platform in the vast Pacific may seem insurmountable, but the solution is in fact very simple:"

[picture of space-based laser pointer]

Well played, Lester. Well played...

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Czech Republic to rebrand

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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kidding aside

Is the CH in Czechia pronounced as a "K" like "Check-ee-ah" or as in "CHocolate"? If the latter, that could lead to folks confusing Czechia with Chechnya. Some of my fellow Yanks already don't realize these are two separate countries a couple thousand miles apart...

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Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Joke

when asked who would pay for the rebranding efforts,

government leaders shrugged and said, "The Czech's in the mail..."

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Prof Hawking to mail postage-stamp space craft to Alpha Centauri using frickin' lasers

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: No return

they just need to include a note:

"Greetings,

"Peace and Prosperity to you and all your fellow Centaurian beings. I am Mr Amatee Mbogo, Finance Minister for a small nation-state on planet Sol 3 (which we call Earth) and am in possession of 274 bazillion Centaurian dollars. Please send a small finder's fee of 500 Centaurian dollars to the following space-time coordinates and a generous share of the fortune will be sent straight away."

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Astroboffin discovers exoplanet by accident ... in 1917

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: Grey Dwarf?

the "Not-white Dwarf".

Needs more Crelm Toothpaste

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US WEATHER SERVICE KILLS ALL CAPS

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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unfortunately...

the synthesized voice that "reads" those weather alerts on Weather Radio (which is also rebroadcast on spare cable channels, etc, in various local markets) probably WON'T be upgraded to something we can understand.

On the other hand, MY ELDERLY MOTHER LIKES THE ALL CAPS WEATHER REPORTS BECAUSE THAT'S HOW SHE TYPES IN EMAILS TO HER FELLOW BLUE-HAIRS, so that's nice I suppose...

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El Reg forces NSA to act

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Coat

hard hitting investigative journalism!

This is why I read the register.

Oh wait... this isn't the bus wanker story?

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Hey, tech industry, have you noticed Amazon in the rearview?

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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@ Anonymous South African Coward

but we need to know: did "that user" have an industrial accident? fall up a flight of stairs? or into a "randomly placed" cement mixer?

You might be giving too much attention to problem solving and not enough to retribution er, future problem prevention...

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Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Pint

disclaimer

That is the best article-leading disclaimer I've read in a while. I can almost hear the frustration devolve into "You know what? FUCK this!" Here, I think you need this more than I do. You'll feel much better.

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NASA gives blacked-out Kepler space 'scope the kiss of life

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Pint

yet again...

... resourceful engineers have won the day and squeezed a bit more usefulness out of a space device WELL beyond its expected lifespan. Chapeau doffed and glass raised.

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BOFH: Sure, I could make your cheapo printer perform miracles

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Computer User - Not Technical

another great acronym to add to my list. Thanks!

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ESA decupboards asteroid-dusting brush-o-matic

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Space Roomba?

If built larger and somewhat sturdier, that would be useful in cleaning up LEO*

* no icon because only HALF joking...

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Brits rattle tin for 'revolutionary' hydrogen-powered car

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: zero emissions?

Have a curry just before you set off?

No, that's for the methane version which won't be introduced until 2018.

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Champagne weekend for Blue Origin with third launch

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: "It's the 'Flying Dildo' (TM)"

Yes. It seems Blue Origin were originally going with a more conventional design until they got wind of the something heading our way from deep space. This led redesign efforts to the current shape in an effort to appease our new Giant Space Vagina overlady(bits).

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Google tried to be funny, cocked it up, everyone thought it was a bug

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: I don't get it.

yes, what Waldo Kitty said. For example...

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'Planet nine' theory boosted by Kuiper Belt Object with odd orbit

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: @Swarthy

and we have lots of manufacturing capacity for Agenothree. Upvoted for the Pern reference.

On a related note, I have always thought that, with proper cinematic treatment, that series could rival the Star Wars saga. And for bonus points: it's never been done so, not a [string of expletives] remake/reimagining/reclusterfuck.

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Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Happy

well...

as an AI experiment, I think we can agree it was a dismal failure. As an unintentional entertainment vehicle, however...

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Foxconn pays £2.5bn to swallow Sharp in cut-price takeover deal

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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I hope that works out

I remember when Sharp was a respected and sought after brand of everything from televisions to microwave ovens - one of which still sits working in my kitchen. I hope Foxconn's motives are to truly revitalize the Sharp brand and not just gobble up the IP and discard the rest simply for the sake of a profit stream.* [/curmudgeon]

* absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeking profit, IF one does it responsibly.

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Microsoft did Nazi that coming: Teen girl chatbot turns into Hitler-loving sex troll in hours

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: @Dwarf

ELIZA: So you say for those too young. Tell me more...

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Computers shouldn't smoke. Cigarettes aren't healthy for anyone

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: Keyboard hell (@Binky)

Alt-0163 and Alt-156 with BOTH produce the '£' sign.

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Dodgy software will bork America's F-35 fighters until at least 2019

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: "their shiny, new carriers will have nothing to carry for a few more years."

or, perhaps a rethink resulting in a simple, elegant, robust, and affordable solution from yesteryear.

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Boffins bust biometrics with inkjet printer

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: It very much depends on the reader

"They take your fingerprints at the airport now!?

They do in the US.."

citation required. Not in any of the US airports I've used in the last several years.

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Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: @ Christian Berger

"September 22, 1986 MacGyver demonstrated..."

but to be fair, McGyver could make a nuclear missile out of three transistor radios, one automobile muffler, two pocket knives and a carrot.*

* of course, only if it was a reasonably FRESH carrot.

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Alien studs on dwarf's erection baffle boffins

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: A space mine

"I wonder what they were mining for?"

Intelligencium - after not finding appreciable quantities on the inner planets

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MAME goes fully FOSS

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Thumb Up

Re: Be warned...

As a long time operator of MAME, I can definitely vouch for Graham Marsden's statement above. MAME is a wonderful black hole of time. You begin playing and soon find yourself wondering where several days went...

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Everything bad in the world can be traced to crap Wi-Fi

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Coffee/keyboard

HipsterWankCafe_FREE

that did indeed make me laugh. Thank you for ending the work week with a fine spray of afternoon tea on the keyboard/monitor/shirt/nearby coworker. Cheers!

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Uncle Sam's boffins stumble upon battery storage holy grail

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: Prussian blue?

I was waiting for the disclaimer to reassure us that "No Hooloovoos were harmed in the making of our Prussian Blue product.

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Good eye, Hubble! Space 'scope spots furthest-ever object

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Pint

well done, Hubble

yet another scientific first.

The timing of this is perfect. Just days ago, I saw a Discovery Channel documentary on the upcoming James Webb telescope which detailed how and why it would be able to see much farther than Hubble. Now, not even a week later, it turns out maybe not THAT much farther since Hubble can apparently see farther than ever imagined. Spiffy! Hopefully, they have similarly underestimated the capabilities and lifespan of the Webb scope.

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IBM slices heavy axe through staff in the US

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: "A Clockwork Orange?"

Yep. A "bit o' the old in-out" to long-term employees...

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Google risks everything if it doesn’t grab Android round the throat

Ugotta B. Kiddingme
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Re: So why did it sell Motorola?

Amusingly coincidental timing - my Motorola G (2nd gen, so at least one HW rev behind) got 6.0 update yesterday.

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