* Posts by lawndart

271 posts • joined 16 Dec 2009

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Are we looking at the first domain name meme? Neigh

lawndart

says

Presumably Jeph couldn't think of any content any more questionable than Wal*mart?

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Samsung offers $90,000 if you can fix California's epic drought with tech

lawndart

says

It's going to take a huge amount of Artiks to build the dams.

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Boffins turns landfill WinPhones into microscopes

lawndart

Re: Crap

I find amoebic chat is thoroughly absorbing.

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18-wheeler ROBOT JUGGERNAUT hits Nevada's highways. Cower, fleshies!

lawndart

says:

It'll just get stuck behind that JCB on the bypass.

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VOTERS! This Election: Vote #Smart, Vote #Digital

lawndart

says

Only 24 hours to save the Gov Digital Service and here's me without Flash installed.

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Ryanair stung after $5m Shanghai'd from online fuel account

lawndart

says

Have they tried looking for their money in another, entirely different bank some 20-30 miles from where they expected it to be?

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Streaming tears of laughter as Jay-Z (Tidal) waves goodbye to $56m

lawndart

Re: Sign o' the Times

Even after all these years very few have guessed, Ringo.

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WIN a RockBLOCK Mk2 Iridium sat comms unit

lawndart

Lohan

Operability

Review

Decision

Should

Have

Another

eXperiment

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Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

lawndart

says

If you are interested in rocket design and the problems with space travel such as the one mentioned in this article then get yourself to Winchell Chung's Atomic Rockets website:

http://www.projectrho.com/public_html/rocket/index.php

Prepare to be somewhat depressed when you are repeatedly told "no, you can't do that" however.

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BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

lawndart

says:

Hang on - I'm still using a PS2 keyboard on my test rig.

And the only reason it plugs into the PS2 socket on the mobo is because there is a 5 pin DIN/PS2 adaptor halfway down the cable.

Hmm. Wonder if Simon is interested...

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Ban Minecraft? That's jive, Turkey!

lawndart

says

Politicians! Don't just do something, stand there!

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I see what you've done, there, twiiter.com: Tweet troops tackle tech twin

lawndart

says

If only people wouldn't thoughtlessly follow links in Guardian articles this wouldn't be a problem.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: El Reg eggs Benedict

lawndart

says:

It looks really tasty and I will have to try that very soon.

The way this series is going, though, at some point adding bacon to the meal is going to start with the instruction "First catch your pig..."

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HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

lawndart

says:

"Sending humans to the moon changed the future of the human race in ways that we don't yet understand."

The bit that I don't understand is why we stopped.

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HOLY SEA SNAILS! Their TEETH are strong enough to build a plane

lawndart

Says:

They may have the teeth to make an aeroplane, but clearly they don't have the ambition.

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Mysterious STAR set to appear on Christmas Eve above Blighty: The ISS

lawndart

says:

I watched it go over and had an excellent view.

The kids from a couple of houses down the road were in their garden yelling "Hello Santa!" at it and waving like fury :)

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You have a 'SIMPLE QUESTION'? Well, the answer is NO

lawndart

says:

I too have been wary of being accosted by old men ever since that time at a wedding where some old sailor went waffling on about albatrosses for what seems like hours.

An octogenarian friend (genuinely an old sailor) was introduced to computers about five years ago.

I helped him out with some of the basics and he picked things up really quickly.

He still considers himself as incapable but seems to have the same skill level as most people as far as computers are concerned.

The old folk asking questions are not necessarily the ones to be wary of. It's the new accountant at work who asks things like, "You know how to use Excel. How do I add up a column of figures easily? Is there a formula you can show me?"

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The Shock of the New: The Register redesign update 4

lawndart

says:

We're getting there.

The giant picture and vast font of the headliner is still a pain if you are looking for new stories from your Opera Speed Dial or other browser equivalent, because the headline story is all you get.

The way the headlines are done in each of the categories is much better. Yes, it is pretty much how it was before, but that worked.

Probably very much a long shot, but since we have to log in to comment, would it be possible to include some settings in the user profile so we can select how The Register looks for ourselves?

This would also give you feedback.

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ESA: Venus probe doomed to fiery death on weird planet's surface

This post has been deleted by a moderator

NASA asks world+dog to name Mercury's craters (back off, 4chan)

lawndart

offers:

Bronowski, after Jacob Bronowski, scientist and mathematician, author of The Ascent of Man.

That is assuming he hasn't already had one named after him (a very cursory search did not produce any results)

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Rosetta beams back colour pics: 67P shades of grey are SO HOT right now

lawndart

says

When The Almost-imperceptably-Red-Comet approaches, it's time to rouse the dragons, for the Almost-imperceptably-Thread shall fall and possibly bruise the odd blade of grass.

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Real Ale TWATS: In SPAAAACE, no one can churn your cream

lawndart

says:

A bit startled to hear they have toilets in Westminster. I thought politicians simply crapped all over the general public.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

lawndart

says:

When do we get the "lovely new makeover"?

Because we certainly don't have it now.

At first I thought I had inadvertently zoomed my browser. Imagine my consternation when the GIANT PRINTER image turned out to really be a GIANT PRINTER image.

Look, I only have a 1920 x 1080 screen. I would prefer it not to have to scroll down to find the articles.

And then scroll down even more to find the next row. And wonder why some articles are twice as wide as others.

Also my Opera speed dial only shows the GIANT PRINTER so I can't tell whether you have updated your articles which is a nuisance.

I'm all for experimentation. Try again.

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3D PRINTED GUNS: THIS time it's for REAL! Oh, wait – no, still crap

lawndart

Re: Not a perfect solution, but...

Probably not a bad idea to have a backup weapon in the form of a water pistol filled with alcohol too.

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So long, thanks for all the ...er, FISH BRIGHTER than boffins thought

lawndart

asks

Are zebra fish attracted to barcodes?

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ROGUE SAIL BOAT blocks SPACE STATION PODULE blastoff

lawndart

says:

Reminds me of the old nautical rhyme:

When the wind comes from the north-and-west,

It's time to don your thermal vest.

When the wind from the northeast does blow,

Just give it up and go below.

When the wind does fail and fade away,

They will not go to space today.

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RUMPY PUMPY: Bone says humans BONED Neanderthals 50,000 years B.C.

lawndart

Re: The Neanderthal must have been really drunk...

Kurten passed away long before the sequencing of the Human Genome let alone the Neandertal variant. He was writing about the facts as he understood them (the sterile hybrid was the accepted theory) and threw in a bit of fantasy to explain the interbreeding and a possible reason for the subsequent extinction of the Neandertal line.

Being able to tell a story does not detract from his ability as an anthropologist, else we might also discount the work of Robert L Forward and Carl Sagan.

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lawndart

Re: The Neanderthal must have been really drunk...

The anthropologist Björn Kurtén hypothesized that the Neandertals were attracted to Cro-Magnons/Early Modern Humans because the details of the latter's physiology, such as lack of a heavy brow ridge, made them look like a Neandertal child. This brought out the Neandertals' mothering/nuturing instinct. Any offspring would be hybrids of the two species and have the benefit of hybrid vigour, which probably made them even more attractive, but the very unfortunate disadvantage of being sterile.

The C-M/EMH may have had to beat them off with a stick, but any kids would have been an evolutionary dead end.

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NASA: Mars satellites menaced by speeding SPACE ALIEN

lawndart

says:

"Its actual composition is what's getting astronomers' hearts beating faster."

Possibly they should have named it Epinephrine instead of something that sounds like a railway point component.

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Cable guy, Games of Thrones chap team up to make Reg 'best sci-fi film never made' reject

lawndart

Re: Hmm

I ploughed through the gore and nastiness of the first book without realising it was part of a trilogy in the first place. I picked up the second hoping that the g&n would abate in that one, but no such luck. I eventually reached a quarter of the way in before giving up - sf horror is not really my cup of tea and I felt I had given PFH a chance with this one.

A considerable time later I was working away from home and needed a book to read so I picked it up again; it probably helped that I had forgotten most of the details of my previous attempt. I then went on to the third and saw it through to the end, more out of a fascination with how the mess was going to get resolved. The Deus Ex Machina ending makes me feel that PFH didn't know how he was going to resolve this either and panicked.

I still have the books but they're not likely to get read again.

I liked his Greg Mandel stuff.

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Alien gimp gag or cosmic golf ball? NASA tackles question everyone's asking

lawndart

says:

It's clearly a previously undiscovered moon of Mars in a particularly low orbit.

I think we should name it Ike.

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Divinity Original Sin and Wasteland 2 reviews: Turn-based gaming's NOT DEAD YET!

lawndart

Re: Sir

Lethal combat system was what Traveller was all about, and the computer game was faithful in its rendition of the combat.

I used to GM the Traveller RPG and my merry band of players took a few TPKs to realise this wasn't D&D or Star Wars and the battles were the games' climax, not something your ground your way through on your way to the next level up. They did get very wily at times and there were a few games where guns were drawn but never fired. Kudos to them for that.

A lot of old games seem to be being reborn for Linux. Hopefully Megatraveller gets a do over, as I can't run it on my current W7 64 machine and it would be nice to try it again.

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DARPA-backed jetpack prototype built to make soldiers run faster

lawndart

says

Definitely not going to be advancing in column formation then.

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BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV

lawndart

says:

Clangers? I'm thinking more along the lines of:

Bungle: Hello George. What are you doing?

George: Hello Bungle. Zippy has created a new compression algorithm and passworded his file. I am trying to crack it.

Bungle: Have you tried a rainbow table?

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The police are WRONG: Watching YouTube videos is NOT illegal

lawndart

says:

Ignorance is no excuse in the eyes of the law.

Knowledge that there is no law covering this particular "crime" is no excuse in the eyes of the law.

Knowing your rights is grounds for suspicion in the eyes of the law.

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

lawndart

Re: Flash

"Little light,

Will guide them to me."

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Boffins ID freakish spine-smothered prehistoric critter: The CLAW gave it away

lawndart

says:

I first saw Hallucigenia in an old coffee table book "The Rise of Life" by John Reader (yes, I still have it.)

My first thought on seeing the picture is "surely they have it upside down". The spindly little spine legs would sink into the sea bottom ooze. The waggly other protruberances would certainly make a better method of propulsion, whether walking or swimming. I deferred to the paleontologists who discovered the thing, but it is nice to be right.

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Spin doctors crack 'impossible' asteroid hurtling towards Earth

lawndart

says:

Straightforward solution.

Get a whole load of geckos. Train them to wear little gecko spacesuits. Put them in a ship and send it off to the asteroid. Once there they all attach a line to the spaceship and float over to the asteroid. They stick themselves dipole-dipole fashion to the surface and begin squirting cyanoacrylate adhesive over the asteroid to bind it together. The lines are all wound into a single strong cable by the spin of the asteroid. The spaceship then begins a very gentle burn until the asteroid is no longer on collision course. The geckos then detach from the surface and their lines, and float back to the spaceship. They return to Earth to a hero's welcome and all the insects they can eat.

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LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

lawndart

says (again)

Lohan Upgrade Spots Trees

Re-entry Utility Program Enables Rapid Tree Avoidance

Geomagnetic Tree Avoidance Variant (Laurel, Ash, Chestnut, Elm, Yew, Juniper, Oak, Now As Standard)

Magnetic Anomaly Detector Brings Inspired Tree Collision Hack.

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lawndart

says

Small Program Usually Reduces Tree Impacts Near Ground

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lawndart

offers:

As my last attempt at an acronym resulted with being mentioned in despatches for rudeness I offer

LARCH

Lohan Arborial Repulsion Code Hack.

Presumably Ruperta converts everything into assembly language?

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World's only flyable WWII Lancaster bombers meet in Lincs

lawndart

says:

Blood ran cold for a moment on reading the title to this article - a meet can be construed as a collision.

The nice thing about living near Sywell in Northamptonshire is the Vulcan and the Lancaster frequent the place for display training with the local acrobatic team The Blades. I have had the Lanc orbit my house at low level while waiting for its slot.

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Astounding: We're about to stick a probe in orbit of a COMET

lawndart

says:

More of a Moby Duck.

Hopefully the Philae lander has been programmed to transmit on harpoon impact, "To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee"

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Cor blimey: Virgin Media pipes 152Mb fibre to 100,000 East Londoners

lawndart

says:

It could be all the old DOCSIS 1.0/1.1 modems still in use which are cluttering up the network; I recall reading they generate more noise than the later versions.

We are due to be upgraded by VM to 50Mbit/s in October. I called "Customer Services" in March asking whether I could have a new modem as I am still running my fourteen year old Motorola Surfboard SB4100 (DOCSIS 1.0) and wouldn't they prefer such old kit off their network?

They still wanted me to pay £20 for the privilege so I still have it, although it won't ever reach 50Mbit/s when the higher speed kicks in.

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Two years on, Curiosity's still in the same crater

lawndart

Unexpected behaviour

"Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose any more. Goodbye."

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Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!

lawndart

Look, for the last time, it's not how big the damn thing is, it's what you do in it that counts.

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Plucky Rockall adventurer prepares to leave islet

lawndart

says:

I never realised the Antarctic stretched so far north.

Have they been reading the reciprocal compass heading again?

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Drone's drug airdrop mission ends in failure for Irish prisoners

lawndart

says:

The drugs. Were they from the Amazon region?

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Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

lawndart

says:

Here I lie, awake at two thirty AM with a broken rib.

Unikitty is doing nothing for me even though I am trying to think positive thoughts.

Do you have to be a virgin?

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BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

lawndart

Re: Missed opportunity here

There is pretty good evidence of pliers existing many millions of years in the past (grippy marks on bones, handle prints in clay etc.) but there is no known fossil example older than the early plierstocene; the species Inuria illegitimus.

There is considerable debate on when the wire stripper first evolved and whether the centre ring with cutter blade is an entirely separate species to the one with the wire cutter built in to the handle end. Determining the point of evolutionary divergence is difficult particularly when considered along side the first appearance of the knurled nut gripping ring, as the KNGR may or not appear alongside both types.

It's a fascinating subject.

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