* Posts by Scott 53

100 posts • joined 16 Dec 2009

Page:

Universal Credit at high risk of cyber-attack, fraud from the outset

Scott 53

And I thought this was meant to be a joke

http://dilbert.com/strip/2007-11-26

1
0

Shareholder rage freezes Salesforce boss Marc Benioff's package

Scott 53

Larry's package

$1.547bn in other compensation? That's a hell of a lot of Luncheon Vouchers.

9
0

Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

Scott 53

Re: Ah

I'm hoping for a pat on the back.

3
0
Scott 53

Ah

So that's what comes out of Cowes.

7
0

George Bush naked selfie hacker Guccifer gets his day in US court

Scott 53

"George Bush naked selfie"

Clickbait on El Reg now? Shame on you.

1
0

Canadian rotter abducts giant Playmobil fireman

Scott 53

Re: You know the rules...

If there's a Playmobil reconstruction then it won't have happened.

1
0

Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback

Scott 53

Which one?

"All I know is what's on the Internet" - artificial intelligence or natural stupidity? Could be Tay, could be Donald.

3
0

Microsoft did Nazi that coming: Teen girl chatbot turns into Hitler-loving sex troll in hours

Scott 53
Coat

Re: Cortana

"would you like me to help you find some Nazi goat porn?"

Goatsieg Heil?

0
0

Hands on with the BBC's Micro:Bit computer. You know, for kids

Scott 53

Re: It's a jungle out there

And those surprisingly violent arguments about who was holding the conch.

8
0
Scott 53

Re: So far... in the style of the original BBC Micro error messages

Don't forget the missing apostrophe in "its useful", so

Syntax error

4
0

How to make the trains run on time? Satellites. That's how

Scott 53

Re: Fail-Safe

Trains delayed by the weather? Only in the third world...

3
0

NIST set to shake up temperature with quantum thermometer

Scott 53

Re: big problem with quantum thermometers

It is simultaneously too cold and too warm until the moment you put your Schrodinger's coat on.

7
0

Linux fans may be in for disappointment with SQL Server 2016 port

Scott 53
Joke

"Microsoft runs the risk of burning the goodwill it has fostered among some Linux advocates."

Ha ha ha.

Ha.

4
1

How a Brexit could stop UK biz and Europe swapping personal data

Scott 53

British Channel?

Where's that?

0
1

Is there anything left to ask Bill Gates? (Other than gissus a million?)

Scott 53

Re: When will he stop his genocidal and other dark practices...?

The causal relationship between vaccines and autism is well established. People on the autistic spectrum are over-represented in areas such as scientific research, which leads to the conclusion that autism causes vaccines.

1
0

London cops hunt chimpanzee in top hat

Scott 53
Headmaster

Apes

They're apes. If in doubt as to which family something falls into, please refer to any of the films in the "Planet of the Apes" series. They aren't documentaries but they do understand the distinction between apes and monkeys.

9
0

US chap sharpens paradigm-busting scissors

Scott 53
Joke

Re: Invented by the Romans?

And popularised by Cicero.

Try saying it out loud.

11
0
Scott 53

Re: Typical discrimination

...or both. Colour me chastised.

8
0
Scott 53

Typical discrimination

against left-handers. My wife will be really cross when she finds out.

7
1

Microsoft releases Windows 10 preview for Raspberry Pi 3

Scott 53

Re: Embrace, extend, and extinguish

The Edison link doesn't work. It's http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/01/07/intel_demos_pconsd_tiny_computer_for_internet_of_things_and_wearables/

0
0

Patient monitors altered, drug dispensary popped in colossal hospital hack

Scott 53

fruit

"IT? How hard can it be? I am a DOCTOR!"

It's hardly brain surgery, is it?

0
0

Black Monday: Office 365 down and out in Europe

Scott 53

Re: A message to all who thought Office 365 was a good idea

"And that was down to the data centre done looking at backups if they worked of not. I know keep an eye on it myself and kick them when it does not run."

Please tell me you don't write code.

2
0

FBI says it helped mess up that iPhone – the one it wants Apple to crack

Scott 53

Killed by Police?

I suppose they kept playing "De Do Do Do De Da Da Da" until he just couldn't take it any more.

3
0

China 'evacuates' 9,000 around monster radio 'scope

Scott 53

Re: Humans gone

Wi-fi nannystations

0
0

Ordnance Survey unfolds handy Mars map

Scott 53

Quorn?

So that rules out animal life on Mars.

5
0

'Hobbit' heads aren't human says bone boffin

Scott 53

What about Sméagoogle robots?

16
0

This is what it looks like when your website is hit by nasty ransomware

Scott 53

Re: Read-only filesystems

"combination mini-fridge/microwave"

Does that keep things both hot and cold at the same time, like David Beckham's Thermos flask?

0
0

Firemen free chap's todger from four-ring chokehold

Scott 53

Ouch

Can I uncross my legs now?

1
0

Mall owner lays blame at Apple's door for dragging down sales

Scott 53

Re: LuluLemon?

They have a section for "Women's bras" - I assume the Men's bras are still under development. I'm underdeveloped myself in that area.

1
0
Scott 53

Tennants using over 10,000 sq ft

Is that how much space is devoted to Doctor Who merchandise?

1
0

Dutch cops train anti-drone eagle squadron

Scott 53

I see where they got the idea

I think Sharknado might have been badly dubbed into Dutch and come across as a documentary.

1
0

I love you. I will kill you! I want to make love to you: The evolution of AI in pop culture

Scott 53

And the point is...

Well there's a list of some things with robots and AI in. Thanks.

And it's grisly. A grizzly end is when you've survived long enough to go a bit Gary Lineker around the temples.

9
0

Pentagon fastens lasers to military drones to zap missiles out of the skies

Scott 53

Re: "Sadly no plans for sharks as yet"

"Sharks on drones...?"

Isn't that the plot of Sharknado 4?

0
0

The last time Earth was this hot hippos lived in Britain (that’s 130,000 years ago)

Scott 53

Re: It's true!

Yes, I do remember those times - and I'm glad to see that The Reg has started republishing proper science articles on this subject instead.

FTFY

2
1

Come on kids, let's go play in the abandoned nuclear power station

Scott 53

"cork used to prevent the ingress of radioactive material"

Was there a diagram showing where to insert it?

15
0

The next Cuban gristle crisis: US Navy warship powered by beef fat

Scott 53

Illuminatus!

"If only one could use killed animals psychic energy..."

Hail Eris

0
0

Squeeze the banana to log into this office Wi-Fi

Scott 53

Well done

+ several for the Banana Phone reference

7
0

Watchdog says yes to BT's EE takeover deal. Shrugs. No 'significant' harm in it

Scott 53

We get to see a Willem Dafoe/Kevin Bacon deathmatch.

8
0

HPE's London boozer dubbed the 'Hewlett You Inn?'

Scott 53

Question

Does the jukebox only work when your glass is full?

0
0

After-dinner Mint? Stylish desktop finale released as last of the 17 line

Scott 53

Improvements in the bowls?

I'm getting the impression you're boweled over by this new release.

10
0

Lovelace at 200: Celebrating the High Priestess to Babbage's machines

Scott 53

Re: Ada?

It was a bit of a shock to realise "Deep Throat" was that long ago.

0
1

Foetuses offered vaginal music streaming service

Scott 53

Nothing new

I was playing Good Vibrations on a boom box years ago.

1
0

North Wales Police outsourcing deal results in massive overspend

Scott 53

Re: Well this is disappointing

Reg readers are aware that kinetic energy= mv2/2. Welcome to the site.

1
0

Facebook and Twitter queen Taylor Swift: Facebook and Twitter are RUBBISH

Scott 53

Re: "elucidate for those too lazy to check"

Could someone explain tl;dr too please - it'll save me looking it up.

0
0

Typo in case-sensitive variable name cooked Google's cloud

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: It's not about "proof reading"

proofreading

2
0

Microsoft Office 365, Azure portals offline for many users in Europe

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: Office 365.25

"A year is 365.25 days, so this is acceptable downtime."

A tropical year is 365.242189 days. If it was 365.25 days we wouldn't need the rule that century years are only leap years if they are divisible by 400.

0
0

Mozilla: Five... Four... Three... Two... One... Thunderbirds are – gone

Scott 53

Mozilla is finally growing up

"At the same time, build, Firefox, and platform engineers continue to pay a tax to support Thunderbird."

Proper tech companies don't pay tax.

3
0

Commentard achieves bronze badge, goes directly to jail

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: Holy shit!

And yes it does, doesn't it?

FTFY

To be fair, you did warn everyone.

11
0

Your taxes at work: Three hours driving to turn on politician's PC

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: Really - there wasn't a cleaner or anyone else in the building...

To be fair, engineers who can solve problems on how plate tectonics used to work on Mars are rather thin on the ground.

Was there also a spelling test?

2
0

Pause Patch Tuesday downloads, buggy code can kill Outlook

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: Pause Patch Tuesday downloads, buggy code can kill Outlook

If you'd used Outlook to check your post before sending, it might have highlighted the difference between effect and affect for you.

4
0

Page:

Forums