1509 posts • joined Friday 11th December 2009 10:15 GMT
If they charge £1.99 for 0Kb I wonder how much a gigabyte costs using the same rate?
Bloody hell I make that infinite pounds and infinite pence! I'm glad I'm not a Virginyte as I don't think I could manage a repayment plan for a debt that steep!
I'm making a complaint to the ASA...
...about the 90s Dutch Eurodance band 2Unlimited - if you ask me they are both very limited in terms of talent and in terms of what constitutes an actual band of musicians! I'm expecting it to be fully upheld!
real money gaming is a popular leisure activity in the UK
real money gaming is a popular way to piss away your family's income in the UK, if you are so desperate to do it you need it on facebook.
Corrected it for them
I always put my sexuality as MILF curious
it'd be easier than wiping your arse.
That made me lol as I can just imagine a new marketing slogan - "Linux Servers - Easier than wiping your arse" and a little picture of that penguin dude holding a bog-roll!
it begins with 'C' and ends in 'sucker'...
Hahahaha it's true I tell thee!
These firefox boys think of everything! You'd never get that in MS word unless some programmer hid it in hex amongst a load of C code!
Imagine if Sinclair were still knocking about - they would have totally already made this phone!
Oh I would love a SpecPhone - Android ported to the Zialog Z80, membrane touch-screen making use of flexible e-ink technology, built in PAL/Freeview tuner with long telescopic aerial, pocket sized thermal printer add-on, powered by non standard sized button cells and Microdrive data storage - it would kick arse! The ringtones would suck though with that poor quality and inflexible built in beep!
Re: A quick heads up
Satanist - "thought for the day" lol
Re: It's actually quite good for...
Loads faster not loads fester - duh I FAIL lol Fitting considering the topic of discussion.
I remember in the late 80s even still, BBC2 used to close down for a little 10 minuet snooze with some shit Jazz music in the afternoons before Finger Mouse came on!
"that ghastly programme with Esther Rantzen...."
Which one dude? Everything she was in sucked hard! Actually the best thing she ever did was that advert for Ambulance Chasing Lawyers Direct - dozy mare ends up doing an advert for exactly the sort of company she spent years campaigning against - duh!
Re: A quick heads up
Don't worry guys, the "fall lineup" as they call it over in NY and Hollywood is kick ass - literally, we have a show about kicking donkeys - part of a series called "Animals Hospitalised"
Also look out for our glitzy new talent show - "The Hex Factor" it goes a bit whitcrafty but our sponsors (an infomercial for a motivational self-help audiobook on cassette tape) insisted we widen the demographic a bit!
It's really exciting times for us, we even have our own miniature version of BBC TV Centre - its basically the same thing except it's in a small light industrial unit it Chigwell!
It's actually quite good for...
...typing in the name of a movie and scrolling down to the subheading named "critical reception" - it loads fester than the other movie review websites, you can be in and out in less than 5 seconds if you just want to quickly know if something on Netflix sucks or not!
baa out loud!
This gives me an idea for a new SMS adult service - chat live to bored sheep! X-rated woollen action! 09069 69CHOPS - £1 per text plus standard network rate.
A quick heads up
Just to let you all know, my new show "Piss Pot Makeover" is starting tonight at 9PM on GoatSlaughter TV - the new Satanist channel on Freeview HD!
Check it out, this week I will be wrapping a late Victorian era porcelain chamber pot with some offcuts of cheap textured wallpaper and also showing you how to snazz up a 1980s vintage plastic hospital bedpan!
I bet BBC1 are shitting themselves! I better send them one of my props!
I got a spam email yesterday in my new outlook.com email inbox - it said...
"Worried, embarrassed, ashamed of the length of your password? Your password length fails to impress her? Feeling inadequate next to that fat nerdy dude in the IT office?....." etc
Then it went on trying to flog me "herbal password extenders!"
Can they please introduce a "stop showing ads for stuff I'm never going to buy in a million years" rule too? I remember a couple of years ago one VOD site that managed to evade my ad-blocker used to show me adverts for ladies shampoo a lot - I am not a bird I am a bloke! I don't care about split ends lol and so much for targeted advertising! Maybe they can program the flash player to overlay a message saying - "oi, mate, buy beer instead!" that would probably work!
I can't wait to buy a knitted apple laptop
Re: "It's not a Metro Lyn, it's a Rover 100!"
You've actually inadvertently made a really important point - Windows 8 is actually so bad, Allan Partridge will now start using a Mac! And he's the sort of dude who'd have thought Windows ME was the best OS ever...
I actually need to post nasty comments about MS for "technical legal reasons" - it's part of my remit to be seen as a beacon of impartiality. I've slagged Apple so much for their rounded rectangles that its only proper I slag MS for their very much non rounded rectangles too!
I think after 5 minuets of being on hold to any company, a message should kick in offering you the chance to press 1 and hear some free recorded phone sex stories to help relieve the stress while you're waiting! Then again, customers would start moaning, and possibly groaning too, when they're taken off hold, especially at the crucial moment!
Might as well just merg the banks with the scammers old friend
NatWestern Union | Bank & Money Transfer
At this rate, we will have scammers bonking into people on packed rush hour commuter trains.
Network Rail will have to run a public safety poster campaign - Beware of Bonkers!
I visit the Register website a lot these days - partly because I am a big fan and partly because my life is really pitiful and pathetic and I am quite addicted to checking my up/down votes (get voting people!).
How many farts worth of browsing do you lot think I do? I'd quite like to know just in case farting/consumer carbon usage is ever taxed in the future as this kind of information may affect a future mortgage application or NI contributions for all we know!
Re: Lady Bracknell
Where's that quote from? The Ballard of RAIDing Gaol?
I've got my real name for the first time ever on a free webmail service - yay! I will never use it though probably!
Also, not keen on the interface colour scheme - looks a bit NHS clap clinic website rather than funky new email service.
Life after windows...
Door For Workgroups 3.1 - New from Microsoft with patented "knob" technology!
Re: Enthusiasm evades everyones expectations
It certainly isn't charisma that Microsoft has you're right - whatever it is though, if you could bottle it, they'd sell it exclusively in Lidl - lmao
Re: Well here is an important milestone...
And then a low end embedded version of that where you have to chisel a sodding set of DOS command prompt instructions into a sodding stone tablet!
I'm surprised they don't just patent a process involving pushing out predigested foodstuffs from a ring of muscle in a persons lower digestive tract, into a large porcelain bowl filled with water, with additional user input via the use of wiping touch gestures during the clean up process and then just sue all of mandkind's arse's off literally!!!!!!
That one took a few seconds to kick in as at first I thought it was a typing error, then I was all like "attic?" oh I get it now, a place where you store all your useless shit until you die and it ends up on Cash in the Attic when your family decide to sell all your private personal processions so that they can fund a three-day trip to Blackpool to play Bingo and get drunk on cheap fortified wine in your memory...
Don't think it actually works to be honest, how about Web Dodgy Dossier or Web Cubby Hole instead?
And why does Firefox's spell checker want me to change it to say "Chubby Hole" that's a bit rude! The perils of open source - should be called open sauce lol
a fridge that accesses Betfair.com
Hell no. That is a pretty desperate image - a mother and father so addicted to online gambling that they are placing bets while making little johnny his eggy bread for din dins, in the kitchen, on their Beko fridge, brought from the Freeman's catalogue on tick no doubt - (does Freeman's even still exist anyone know?) damn what a horrid thought!
Thank you for that depressing image! Words are powerful you know, theatre of the mind and all that! And those few words of yours produced in my mind a depressing made for TV kitchen sink drama set in Stoke-on-Trent during a Big Society+Facebook induced nuclear apocalypse directed by Ken Loach!
Well, I went on Amazon the other week to order Fifty Shades of Grey - I thought the price was a little extortionate at first but I guess it's the price you pay for finding out what all the fuss is about...
Imagine my surprise two days later when a pallet full of Dulux turns up at my front door and the delivery man says to me "I have your fifty shades of grey here mate!"
Mines the one with splodges of "Lovers Drizzle Eggshell", "Midnight Depression Matte" and "Major's Extra Dull" all over it!
Might give it a whirl then - I actually prefer firefox overall despite describing it as verminous - but I like to have a bit of browsage redundancy for those times when you get stupid error messages like "oops we droped a bollock and crashed because Adobe can't code their way out of a wet paper bag when writing flash plugins" etc..
Re: The Frankie Boyle angle
Love how this thread managed to go off on to Foxconn factories and suicide - good old el Reg!
Upvoted for "puppy dogs entrails"
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