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* Posts by LinkOfHyrule

1509 posts • joined Friday 11th December 2009 10:15 GMT

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

My advice would be

If he/she mentions Western Union - RUN!

LinkOfHyrule
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Happy

Re: Dish was like Indiana Jones

I didn't have to worry about ad breaks back in the Betamax days - the only programme I was recording was Thomas The Tank Engine and it didn't have any ad breaks!

LinkOfHyrule
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Trollface

Well that's the trouble with milkfloats init!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Dish was like Indiana Jones

What a bit 80s? hahaha I'm on fire today!

Joking aside it is a bit 80s really skipping the ads - just like good old Betamax!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Not obviously stupid no, I wouldn't say that. But it is stupid!

Examples of why...

Accounts being hacked, making a fool of yourself by tweating that you brought Findus ready-meals on valentines day, marketers using the info in your feed to spam you with targeted crap, boring people with your purchases.

LinkOfHyrule
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WTF?

Sending financial transactions through not only an unencrypted but a publicly accessible channel - what could possibly go wrong with that!?

Why not just send people's other personal shit like medical info via twiiter too? Example...

"@Paris - Your results are now available #std #testresults #hasgotclap"

Jeeze!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Maybe the Bill need to set up a dedicated task force to tackle this crime. The officers working in this specialist unit could be called "Copper Coppers" hahaha

Paris because she likes a boy in blue to take down her particulars!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Re: Is there anybody there?

This is almost exactly what happened - it actually spelt out "Susan Sung Well On Britains Got Talent" but they were so preoccupied with the idea of suing them they chose to read into it what they wanted to hear!

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

This was actually meant to be a licensed product - it's based on the little known ITV drama series "Daylight Robbery" from fifteen years ago staring Michelle Collins! Its really big in Germany that show and the blonde bird with the shooter is meant to be Ms Collins herself in her role as a young mother turning to bank jobs to pay her gas bill! It's a good likeness I'm sure you will agree, they really know how to injection mould soap stars those Playmobil guys!

They were also planning on doing a similar Thelma and Louise playset complete with convertible car and convenience store but alas they lost the licences for both so instead we ended up with this generic "City Action" set. Such a shame!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

I can't wait for...

Windows ME Turbo HD Hyper Horsemeat Edition!!!!

Paris because of the horsemeat reference!

LinkOfHyrule
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WTF?

Re: Dodging dog turds while blindfold

Basic arthmatic? Yeah cos that comes in handy when you lose on the first go dont it! No sorry but that game is silly and dull.

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Dodging dog turds while blindfold

AKA Minesweeper!

I'm sure this service will be a useful way to host phishing websites to get peoples Google logins so thumbs up to Google!

LinkOfHyrule
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Holmes

Well it's a great shame

Personally I was hoping for it to die spectacularly, maybe some sort of armed siege or a big ass fine from information commissioner or a funny hacking fiasco - to hear that its gone titsup just because that Mench woman is full of cyber shit is very disappointing but then again, hardly surprising!

I do worry about the users though - I'm sure this thing was keeping them off the streets and out of trouble!

Icon - cyber Sherlock!

LinkOfHyrule
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Happy

I wonder if there is a Korean tech news site out there reporting on the UK's rising market for pawn shops too?

Apparently there is a demand here in Surrey for a sort of "Waitrose cum Cash Converters" type pawnbrokers that dish out dosh in return for fine wine collections and sports cars! It was on Newsnight a few months ago so it must be true, its not like that programme makes shit up or anything!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Indeed, they need to add a line of text saying "Comments disabled, bitch" or something. Saying that though, why would comments be disabled on a story about the R pi?

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Re: You've been sexting again haven't you.....

Well I thought I would give it a go based on Diane Abbott's recent advertising campaign for it!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Well fart sounds aren't that far below the quality of most pop music today :)

Dubstep is often mistaken for heavy flatulence with all that "wobble bass"

LinkOfHyrule
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Mushroom

And don't forget the long awaited (to iTunes at least after all the reluctance to digital downloads by the rights owners) "Sgt Pepperoni's Lonely Farts Band"!!!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Was it really "Monkey Drums"???

Not that I am accusing the marketing people of this song of doing a sly deal with Apple or anything but can you imagine if the 25 BEEEELIONTH download was something like "A Lovers Audio Guide to Anal Beads and How to Use Them" - do you really think Apple would be all gun ho about announcing that as their milestone download?

No neither do I !!!!!

PS - it's a good informative guide that! I can highly recommend it!*

*Not really I made it up for the purposes of "humour"

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Thanks for the heads up!

Never even heard of them before! Thanks for the heads up though - I will remember to forget about their website as soon as possible!

Paris because she has been known to pin up her cupcakes for all to see!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Re: A friend of mine...

Either that or Bitcoins!

LinkOfHyrule
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FAIL

Re: A friend of mine...

Bugger someone further up made a similar joke - oh well don't complain people, think of it as buy one get one free but with virtual goods that you didn't actually buy - just like what Zynga do!

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

A friend of mine...

...owns some of their shares - last year he had dividends paid to him in virtual turnips!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

"very touch centric"

Eeewww, I thought we were beyond this kind of work place harassment in this day and age!

LinkOfHyrule
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Coffee/keyboard

It is not funny what this bloke did but it was very funny reading about it! Very odd, I would have used Tesco Value bog cleaner myself as its cheaper.

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

running on a Mac which was itself running an Android emulator

What would happen if you ran inside the Windows a virtualised Mac OS - does the world slowly and painfuly end or something?

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Mega Hurts

It just wont be the same ever again without all the uploaded movies, TV shows, warez and porn.

I suggest branching out into new industries instead - maybe a Kickstarter rip-off called Mega Beggar?

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Re: concentration of pillocks among staff and customers.

"The Apple shops are very different to all others. There's a far higher concentration of pillocks among staff and customers."

Wow, did you enter a cheat for getting lots of upvotes or something or do only Apple haters read stories about Apple?

P.S. Fuck Apple lol

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Re: Ha Ha Ha... bite me!

Windows 8 tiles are everwhere these days!

I even saw them in someone's kitchen!! They'd gone for that oh so funky late 90s multicoloured silly pattern type vibe that Windows 8 does too - only the tiles were slightly rounded in the corners unlike Win8 with its "trying to make lazy design cool by making everything flatter than a roadkill hedgehog" motif!

I must admit though, I just wanted to touch the heck out of that kitchen wall, MS are really on to something here, I just had a desperate urge to stroke those tiles senseless! So Win8 gets the finger up from me you could say! I think it will revolutionise the way we think about inputting stuff into computers and domestic kitchen design for weeks to come!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

The Microsoft Way™

WTF is that? Sounds like the name of some naff self-help personal training and life coaching solution sold via a late night infomercial!

You CAN suceed when you do it The Microsoft Way™! Call now and all this can be yours on ten audio cassettes for only £199 plus shipping and handling! Call now and and start living your life The Microsoft Way!!!!

Eeewww

LinkOfHyrule
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I still have some Wii games I intend to play but I rarely feel in the mood to play games these days so might take a decade or so to get round to it - heck I have some Gamecube games I intend to play too and I need the old Will as this new fangled one wont play the buggers!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Oh the irony

They are basically copying what X-Tube does then arnt they!

LinkOfHyrule
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Happy

What about those 3 pin ICs packaged the same as transistors that play jingle bells? I have never actually seen one but my old electronics GCSE textbook claimed such a thing existed! I'm guessing cheap novelty musical teadybears are full of then!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Should have also given away some LEDs too so that the nippers can make some clichéd electronics projects - Google coloured red, green, blue and yellow ones!

Paris 'cus she's well into flashing things with her good old 555 timers!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Re: What's a 'cum stylus'??

Maybe its a sausage- wern't actual sausages used as styluses by folk in Korea or something a while back on capacitive touch screens phones? Or did I dream that?

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Re: The only tablet

You don't need to take out a loan to buy the thing - that would be very silly! If you aint got the readies for one, do the sensible thing and do not eat for a couple of years!

You will be both slimmer and have an iPad - Double the coolness!

You need to start thinking smart son, maybe even think different, if you want to be an iPad user!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

equivalent as the back of a fag packet

There's a market here for the fag industry - cig branded tablets!

Bloke in pub: "Mate, I'll show you that new dodad I knocked up in AutoCAD on my 20GB Benson & Hedges GoldPad"

Could even have an e-cig cum stylus accessory to go with it!

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

“it is your duty as a geek to innovate.”

I have an idea to help out those teenagers who need to look up "health advice" - I call my idea "PPP Hotspots" the PPP standing for "Public Porn Point" - its simply an open wireless hotspot for the public to do anon porn surfing away from their own connections! It's innovative because despite being old tech its got a new name!

Joking aside, fuck you governtards! Wanting to look at my web usage, bunch of sickos!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Re: Good Thing It Wasn't Apple

Surely the cells of an Apple spreadsheet would be comprised of rounded rectangles, no?

By the way, loving these old war stories - Reg, do more oldskool business like this please, makes a good read for us young'uns who wern't even born when half this shit went down!

Paris because she loves a bit of the old DOS

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Internet sensations like Gangnam Style were blocked

I think these guys might be all-right after-all!

LinkOfHyrule
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Thumb Up

female equivalent of Keth Vaz.

Damn that's stingingly harsh! But true!

LinkOfHyrule
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FAIL

pornified

Forget pornified or even hornified - I'm yawnified!

If you want a proper debate love, then use proper words! I take it your language skills have been corrupted from watching Tweenies Savile porn or something?

Jeeze!

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

The Sky's the limit!!!!

And that limit is about 0.8Mbps

b-boom tish groan etc

LinkOfHyrule
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Pint

1.66 elephants per minute

I do hope you guys don't wee in swimming pools - if not we're all going to drown pretty damn quick!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

"something from the weekend"

Uuggghhhhhh! I wish people would dispose of them properly! Yuk!

LinkOfHyrule
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Gimp

I think I'll stick to my rubber gimp hood, to at least save myself looking like a cyberpunk Elton John when my pic is taken like that dude in the picture does wearing those things!

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

sat playing Grand Theft Auto

That's terrible! Grand Theft Auto is such an old and shit game - I think he should upgrade to one of the more recent ones with 3D graphics!

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Re: Bungle costume at a party in London one weekend

That was ITV not BBC!

You should post what happened on one of those "furry fursuit sex websites" that I have heard of that a friend told me about.

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Re: Support

Bluetooth STDs

LinkOfHyrule
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Gimp

If it runs Android then I hope they also bring out an inflatable electric sheep too!