Posts by LinkOfHyrule 1657 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Dec 2009
As are all mums who shop at Iceland - total terrorist home grown lone wolf extremists the lot of them!
I've gone for beer instead of joke alert this time - actually joke alert, is that the next stage up from amber alert on the scare the public scale? Does it mean a joke about Robin hood airport on twitter is imminent?
Terrorists are everywhere silly - the government told me!
These are all warning signs - this is why we NEED the PRISM system! Duh!
If you want my Facebook login you're bloody welcome to it - if you're that desperate to look at pictures of my sisters cats all day that is! Thought not!
But if you change your mind and you do fancy ogling some puss, then why not cut out the middle-man - instead of phising for Facebook logins just get a job at PRISM and fill your boots with as much puss as you can handle!
Paris because its too early in the morning and I'm talking shite to myself on the el-reg forums! Again!
Imagine if the Microsoft Welsh Male Voice Choir and the ARM Barbershop Quartet got together and recorded a single together - and then the MS boys made the ARM chaps go down the shops to buy a few thousand copies of it in a vain attempt to bump it up the "Alternative" music charts!
This is exactly what they're doing here!
I think the El reg Special Projects research thingy needs to do a full scale investigation into the effects of eating 200g of each type of biscuit in twenty minuets. Everything from Hobnobs to Jammy Dodgers including dead fly biscuits, Bourbons, Nice and even Fig Rolls!
Maybe get that turd examiner woman from Channel Four involved too if drunk.smile's experiences with custard creams are anything to go by.
...This has not only been done before but has been done better. You should look into Fortisip, PEG tubes and feed pumps.
If you are going to eat gloop - what better way than having it pumped directly into your stomach by a machine via a plastic tube sticking out your belly button?
Timmy: "Awesome I scored another Tetris! woot!"
xboxOne: "Hey Timmy listen up!"
Timmy: "hu?!!?"
xboxOne: "My name is Hans Brix LeBloc - CEO of Thermalite - Europes leading manufacturer of breeze blocks for the construction industry!"
Timmy: "what the.....!!!"
xboxOne: "I've been spying on your Tetris games these past few months Timmy and you really have skills me and the guys here at Thermalite think we could use down at our brick making factory!...etc.etc.etc."
Timmy: "Sod off you perv! MUM THE XBOX IS SPYING ON ME AGAIN!"
Mum: "It's okay Timmy, I'll call the NSPCC again!"
Johnny: "Take that bitch!" < he says as he kills another terrorist in Call of Duty.
xboxOne: "Hey Kid... HEY KID!!!"
Johnny: "Woah wtf, is that you xbox? Are you talking to me?"
xboxOne: "Yeah it's me kid, Sgt Ballmer here, first XBOX battalion. We've been watching you for a while Johnny using the cameras in your XBOX Kinnect. We like your style kid, you really know how to kick some butt on Call of Duty!"
Johnny: "Woah thanks sir!"
xboxOne: "Say kid, how'd you like to come work for us and fly drones keeping 'merica safe? We could do with a sharp shooting patriot such as yourself..." etc. etc. etc.
etc!
It looks like the NSA must have edited the vid or something!
Two blokes in black suits and shades will turn up at the doors of all the people who did manage to see the unedited video and they will say "You DID NOT see this video, do you understand us, slave?!!" in threatening tones!
This is how life will be from now on under the XBOX Holy One!
I bet that embassy he dosses in has one hell of a knackered-out futon by now! Smelly too possibly!
At least he's not sleeping in a windowless cell like Mr Manning. Give the poor chap a window ffs and no I don't mean Windows 8! The dude has enough problems!
... I want to download the song "Sex Dwarf" by Softcell or some early 90s breakbeat "Hardcore" the Prodigy for example? Or I want to google the track listing for the latest in the series of the tragically less exciting than it sounds "Clubland Extreme Hardcore" to laugh at how much it sucks etc...?
Google will simply think I'm into hardcore sex club porn featuring people with restrictive growth when I'm not, and this will make the internet a better place will it!?
How will the ministry of truth know how to filter out actual dwarf porn and not well known synth pop songs with similar sounding names?
Load of old effing stupid bollocks! And I supposed saying that will be blocked too!
I was just about to say "No matter what your opinion is, at least with it being called NOOBS it does exactly what it says on the tin." If we go with your idea I will have to change my statement to "it does exactly what it say on the silicone!" Which is technically a more accurate description either way when you think about it!
I'm sticking my thumps right up for BOOBS!
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