1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009
Apple must be ****ing themselves!
PC World and Currys apps - too funny!
Want bad advice when buying consumer electronics? There's an app for that!
Anyone fancy a Quicksee?
Just a quick one!
The riding of mobility scooters
They could make the riding of mobility scooters an attraction in and of itself like the family fun-day episode of Phoenix Nights!
Would be a great excuse too for an officially licensed version of "Potters Big Pink Paradise"!
"or face extension"
"or face extension"
haha got me!
I was uncharacteristically grouchy today, more a case of Firefox's spell checker failing, spell checkers are an area where Microsoft actually beets Mozillia!
They aint going to catch the prolific shearers and downloaders anyway. They will find a way to avoid detection. They only way to counter it, is to bring in laws and powers that take away all our privacy.
Wow, loving the thought of living like a slave with no private life because the music and film industries don't have a clue! You're all pricks, you deserve to go under, seriously fuck you all, you will die, when we start our own media companies that don't treat customers like shit you won't be able to compete. You'll have to get with the times or face extension.
Or maybe you will just get the laws changed so will all have to be your bitches. Yeah looks like you are doing that. How long will it be until independent film and record companies are made illegal.
Remember folks, the music business sue single mums thousands for sharing a few crap tunes. These people are scum, ripping of artists, consumers and now even conning the bloody government once more to get their own way and rip us all off. Fucking scum!
Urm excuse me!
Some of the idiots actually voted Lib Dem too!
Oh and some voted Labour
OMG I just had a great idea!
I've just had a great Idea that will solve this problem for everyone.....
iPads! Yes - use iPads all the time while being naked - its just big enough to cover most rude downstairs lap areas! (Unless you're a lucky chap!) Not sure what ladies will need to do to cover their upper rude area - maybe two more iPads? Either way, just converting to fanboism will solve all problems!
See, it really is true that Apple products solve all known problems!
Mine's the one i'm not actually wearing.
Oh my, all two of their listeners will be horrified! Oh, Sorry, I forgot, only 50% of their audience uses the internet, and it was him who discovered it!
I'm joking! Calm down! They actually have three listeners as I sometimes tune in when I can't sleep! That's why its called Radio "Three" you know!
Quite a lot of exclamation marks in this post isint there!
Only a matter of time...
It's only a matter of time until the governtards will ban us from filming ourselves eating hot chillies as it will be classed as extreme porn causing life threatening injuries to a persons anus!
Notice I haven't used the joke symbol, I'm serious! They probably will!
Nothing new here
Google suggest and the oh so lovely (not) Google toolbar have been doing this for years. And yes, I was well aware of the whole fuc, shi, cun, boll, wan, twa, situation! It also holds a grudge against the music style and building material both known as hardcore.
I wonder how many 48k Speccys you would need to store 1.5 gigs between them all? I cant be bothered to do the math(s) but maybe someone else could and then a "Speccys worth" could maybe become a new official unit of measurement?!
When's it first test flight then?
...Extreme Conkers! Or Urban Conkers! No...? Virtual Conkers? ConkesVille? Conkr.com? iConk?
I love how
I love how the usb stick was branded with the police details - I wonder if the MI5 and MI6 usb sticks are branded with the words "Top Secret"!?
Mines the one with the word "Coat" printed on it!
There's so many jokes I could make about this...
...But i'll do a non rude one and say...
Filthy "pen pushers" pedling their filth to kiddies! Something needs to be done about these "pushers"! It starts off with pens but can easily lead to pencils and magic markers!
I wouldnt encourage this
You could do yourself some damage and be nominated for the Darwin awards. I hope you're not being for real!
I'm not a spiders rights activist thought btw, I couldn't care a less about them.
That is all!
Mines the rubber trench-coat!
Hell Daily Mail
the mac daddy of Humberside.
Mac daddy as in pimp, not Steve Jobs
And no offence to Hull by saying "Hell Daily Mail" either!
Can we have a "warning, try not to fall off the chair" icon for posts like these in future?
Yeah I was a bit harsh on records there maybe as I actually quite like them myself as it is of course still cool to DJ with them and the fact that many records from way long before I was even born survive is both a technical achievement and again very cool!
They all have pros and cons, digital downloads sound pretty crap too if you don't back up and have a hard drive failure resulting in them "not existing" any-more!
What a load of old...
I'm pretty bllody sure the internet was actually invented in the USA.
Most people cant tell between a CD and a 320kbps MP3 file.
Vinyl records have a habit of melting and sounding like crap.
Big band music is heard very often out in public and I beleive there is even a dedicated show on Radio 2 catering to it on friday nights.
There's nowt to stop the US hacking China and Russia.
Bloody idiots. The reason the music industry is "dead" is because it's actually been ripping off consumers and artists alike since it's inception. I give away a lot of music I write for free. Without the internet however, I'd probably not be making music as it was kind of a expensive thing to get into thanks to the so called industry acting like a bunch of selfish pricks in the past!
Oh and Fleetwood Mac sound like a bunch of fanbois! ;o)
...a three day event of swimming and stand up comedy sponsored by Toilet Duck and Domestos wouldn't draw a crowd, would it!
Most kids who are murdered are killed by their own parents so by that logic, we should be handing out tags at the exit to the maternity ward.
All we need now
All we need now are the Amiga and Archimedes fanbois!
Makes it easier
Makes it easier to list **** goods from China!
Mines the *fake* one
Speaking of names
Speaking of names, I suggest that it is a good idea NOT to use your real name or your usual stage name if doing "independent" films of a certain nature.
It was probably a fanboi
It was probably a fanboi who complained to the ASA. He's got a good few days of forum bait out of this now - "PS3 is da best the Advertisingz standardz thingy even says so, so it must be true!"
Wii owners are apparently to busy dusting their wiis to be making complaints if internet gaming forums are to be believed!
I quite like fart jokes but I don't actually need an app for them, the real thing is free.
It is messed up though that you cant have anything related to sex on the app store, but bodily emissions of a less romantic type are not only fine but probably encouraged!
Maybe they will allow tethering if it was possible to actually tether your arse to the iPhone.
Every story on the Register mentions Apple these days... Oh hang on... that kind of dirty mac!
I think they do offer a special deal
I think they do offer a special money off deal actually - but you need to collect tokens in the local paper to qualify!*
*I might be wrong though
Legend Of Zelda Music eh?
Legend Of Zelda Music eh? Why that is my favourite music! For obvious reasons! I might have to see this film, hurry up and make it available to watch at home though, I hate the cinema, too many smelly people and no pause button!
Frankly I'm surprised
Frankly I'm surprised that the green/red fruits that grow on trees that contain pips are still known as apples! I would of though Steve would of tried suing orchards/god/plannet Earth by now for trademark infringement - they rip off his company's name and they even have the word "app" as the first three letters!
I wonder if Steve will also try to patent gravity seeing as it was discovered with an apple!
Mine's the one with infringing fruits sticking out the pocket!
Claim you prize from
Claim your prize from the university of East Anglia hahahaha!
I actually meant the TOTAL all time up votes and down-votes covering all forum posts, not the current post, I just realised that I had forgot to say earlier and consequentially you might think i'm thick! Haha! Silly me!
"I'm going to use this as another call to get a reason for rejection added if a comment is rejected"
"I'm going to use this as another call to get a reason for rejection added if a comment is rejected"
Oh please no, otherwise all my rejected ones will say "rejected due to commenter being a immature libellous knob who thinks he funny but is actually pathetic" or something along those lines i'm sure!
What I would like though, is the number of up-voted and down-voted for each users comments displayed along side their username in the forums. Then we will know who's winning! ;o)
I listen somtimes!
I love that weird thingy they do where they go on about "Dogging" and "German bite" and how its either falling or "Rising".
Not sure what it's for, I'm guessing its for either kinky people or sailors!
Give me a H, give me a S give me a B...
Yeah, I'm sure its that one. They offer free security software and the previous article about this attack said something about the user password format which seems so similar to be identical. Though to be fair I don't know anything Barleys password format so I could be wrong. Probably aint though!
Oh and they also offer some weird software too that's meant to stop this sort of thing (ha) and I think they use it as an excuse not to compensate people ripped off who didn't download it (or use a mac or Linux so can't use it anyway even if they wanted.)
If I'm ever in my local branch of some soft furnishing emporium and some shifty fella comes in to buy curtains, I had better call the cops. They will raid his house, find the curtains and do him for processing terrorist materials!
I thought the only reason people had hotmail and yahoo accounts these days was so they could access msn (I refuse to call it windows live whatever-the-nuts it's called) and sign up for spammy forums and news sites?
I always giggle when I see a business that has a hotmail email address as its main contact email addy! Especially when they have a perfectly good website url they could use! Oh and I giggle harder when I see a hotmail address email actually painted on a van or a shop-front sign!
woah "hang" about...
woah "hang" about you forgot the other ball!
<---- Don't worry, here it is!
Congrats on your "red hot tip"
I get all my...
I get all my lesbian stories from el Reg (and to be fair, I also get all my transvestites having sex with dogs in ditches stories from here to!) and all my wanky balls stories from the independent!
I wouldn't have it any other way I can tell you!
Accidental paperless office
"Accidental paperless office"
Haha! What happened, did they leave the windows open on a windy day or was it a case of "Dog ate your benefit claim"!
Hehe, yeah a banking trojan that robs the rich to give to the poor! Only downside is that it checks you geolocation and only works if you live in Nottingham!
I bet someone now replies saying "well actually, Robin Hood was from Yorkshire"!
How about Juggawatts!
How about buying a Mac, but also buying a Microsoft Mouse! (That one made in the Chinese sweatshop that used under-age workers!)
Taboo I know, mixing the the Jobs and the M$! It's a bit like those brought-up council houses with the stone cladding and mock Tudor beams isn't it!
I can imagine...
I can imagine students hiring a crane and truck and nicking these for a laugh!
Hey, Reg forum mod people, can we have new icon, one to represent being physically sick!?
Oh hang on, we have one already...
Yay one of my comments got picked! I win at internetz commentz!
- JLaw, Kate Upton exposed in celeb nude pics hack
- Google flushes out users of old browsers by serving up CLUNKY, AGED version of search
- GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine
- China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
- Something for the Weekend, Sir? If you think 3D printing is just firing blanks, just you wait