Posts by LinkOfHyrule

clear, rigid feminine pleasure device

I'm sorry but that phrase is just too funny.

Great, I've just spat tea all over my opaque, rigid, multi-gender typing device!

I watched the video teardown the other day

I watched the video teardown on ifixit the other day - I like the little comment about the fan being there because of past xbox overheating problems maybe!

When, oops, I mean IF, the Kinect goes wrong, I wonder if we will get the red finger of death this time? I don't know which is more painful, a red ring or a red finger!

We need freedom of speech in this country

We need freedom of speech in this country. I want the people of this country to say what they really feel without fear of prosecution . That way, the members or the Tory party will be able to spout off their true opinions of ethnic minorities, the poor etc and then maybe the public will wake up to the fact that they have voted in (well sort of voted, they didn't actually win did they) the most out of touch bunch of selfish scumbags we've seen since the last time they were in power!

Good old Britain with its sense of fair-play

Well done Britain!

He's lost two jobs, he's in debt to the tune of thousands, he'll have trouble getting another job not only because of the criminal conviction but because their aren't any jobs. And soon, he'll be told by our new overlords that he's a lazy, work-shy, lay-about dole-scum and that if he wants to continue getting his £65 a week dole money, he'd better do some forced labour!

And all because of a joke on twitter! Yes it was a crap a joke but the punishment is a little harsh!

Good old Britain with its sense of fair-play.

LOL

hehe, that Google message sounds friggin' desperate if you ask me!

"Oh please don't leave me! I'm better than her! You'll regret it! She'll never give you what we had together!"

Flavour of the month (or flavour of the five to ten year period that huge US tech companies dominate) changes you know, Google! You'll be an oversized embarrassment to yourself just like Microsoft is now, one day too!

I own it, i'll do wtf I like with it!

If companies don't want us tampering with their stuff then don't sell it to us - otherwise shut-up, please!

And if it's true that they are selling the thing at cost or a loss then I only have one thing to say to that... Ha-ha!

Damn

bj.co.uk is already registered! Such a shame, I had high hopes for what I was going to do with that domain!

Now I just hope the Cook Islands still have bj.co.ck available!

Paris, cos it was gunna be a Paris fan-site of course!

There's no excuse

There's no excuse for this. You can't just go round sending people bills for stuff they aint brought. Oh, hang on, looks like you can until you get threatened with a fine. Silly me.

Bunch of fraudsters.

Homoeopathic

I've just taken delivery of a brand spanking new homoeopathic 1TB hard-drive. I think I was ripped off though as the box just contains water - apparently thought the water "has the memory" of being a hard drive so it will still work!

I love this line

I love this line: "Note that we have done a proper investigation".

LMAO If only the real law enforcement agencies would use such wording too, we'd all feel so much safer in the knowledge that the law was being upheld because the investigation was "a proper" one!

"masticating on the rubbery prophylactic"

Damn, that was so funny it made me spit my load all over the keyboard!

(The load was of course tea)

WTF!

Love how printer makers are feeling so left out from the twitter craze!

What's next? Is Armatige Shanks going to add twitter and Facebook apps to toilets and urinals?

"doing a wee, nice selection of urinal cakes today!"

That person on the Guardian

That person on the Guardian blog comments section who said the Register only publishes stories about naughty bits has yet again been proven wrong! This story is totally un-rude yet sounds rude from the Headline! Take that Guardian idiot!

You missed one BIG key feature

You missed one BIG key feature - it also makes for a handy go-anywhere nose picker!

Paris cos she also goes-anywhere!

When I was a small child

When I was a small child, I genuinely thought "Margaret Thatcher" and "Bitch" meant the same thing!

My dad was a labour supporter I think that's why lol

I'm gunna ask them

I'm gunna ask them if there's is a way to change the error messages. "Oops, this is embarsing" is getting so old after seeing it everyday for god knows how long now!

I want it to say something else maybe "Ooh what am I like!" or maybe "We apologise for the inconvenience but your session was lost due to trespassers on the line at Effingham Junction".

Now that would be awesome!

Haha love this comment

Haha I like this comment on that blog from a commentard called "blighty".

"No matter how inconsequential the story is, if it in any way mentions nudity, sex, reproductive organs, stupidity it will make it onto the site, and even then they struggle to find more than a few stories every week."

That's why I and many others read the Register - for the sex, nudity and reproductive organs! Mixed in with IT news! Duh!

However his/her comments about struggling to find stories is balls. I visit the site probably about 5 times a day and there's always new stuff about knobs and jubs to read each visit!

Oh and this climate-change/gate stuff is so boring to me now. Oh and that blog was so boring and stinks of trying to hard. People moan at me about grammar but over there on the Gruanianaiaianengrua its another matter all together! He needs to learn to limit the use of the comma key!

Paris of course - for the jubs!

lol

That company will fail anyway, hardly anyone at the moment wants electric cars and not all of the few who do have tons of money they can piss away on a Tesla anyway.

If and when the public want/need electric the big players will kill the firm off anyway.

hahaha stupid PR people!

DAB sucks

The bloody government, f-ofcom and the industry need to just admit what everyone's knows - that DAB is useless crap and a complete waste of everyone's time and money.

Yeah, 'cus MP2 is really the future of audio broadcasting isint it! If DAB was good, pirate radio stations would be available on it but no, they are all still on FM or this thing called "the interwebz tubez"!

What a total ****

This geezer sounds like a total ****. Shouldn't be a friend to your own kids? What dose he hate them or something?

As for the file sharing thing. Shut the **** up.

Kiss are a shit band, I can say I honestly don't know any of their songs but they are definitely still shit!

I've never even heard of them, what are they some sort Welsh mens' choir or something?

If you input this story into the Daily Mail headline generator

If you input this story into the Daily Mail headline generator, along with the stories about the CEOP buttons, you get the following...

"Is Facebook causing your family to become terrorists and paedophiles?"

It also carries the following subheading...

"Scientists still don't know if Facebook causes cancer and wars, is it safe to let your family take the risk?"

First person to

The first person to sign up, get connected to the cams and THEN broadcast a relay of all the cams they are watching over the net so the rest of us watch too and even play pranks in the location the cam is covering, wins a pint!

That should hopefully also help put an end to this stupid idea. If not, I'm sure that fact people ant gunna pay to work will!

I misread Solder as Shoulder

I thought this story was about the Apple TV sporting some secrete "Shoulder Pads" in some sort of '80s power-bitch fashion comeback!

Remember Folks!

Perv scanners will not store images. They do not even have the required hardware to do so!

Perv scanners will not be abused by their operatives. You do not need to worry about airport staff looking at your love plumbing.

Perv scanners are safe. They will not cause you harm and have of course been stringently tested to ensure your personal safety.

Perv scanners prevent all known forms of terrorism. It's true!

If you disagree with two or less of the above statements then you are clearly either a terrorist or a paedophile.

If you disagree with two or more of the above statements then you are clearly both a terrorist and a paedophile!

Firm and Harsh Regards,

Your Governmentz.

NOT FAIR WAHH HAAA OOWW!

This kid is gunna be crying into his beer! Not fair! Want it now!

I want to play games in 3D for 15 minuets and then turn the 3D off due to headaches and never use it again, NOW!

BS!!!!!!!!!

"almost 90 per cent of youth would happily pay a monthly fee for for a mobile-phone wallet, mainly for the privilege of not having to wait in line for movie tickets."

BS - Nobody our age goes to the bloody cinema any-more, we aint living in the '30s any-more, granddads!*

Not seen a flick on the "big screen" for about 8 years, I like to you know, eat food that isn't flavoured expanded polystyrene and to be able to actually see and hear the film , plus I like the option of being able to do a number 1 or even a 2 without missing anything!

We have these things called DVDs and the interwebtubes you know, and I can sit right in front of the telly should I need it to look really big!

*Obviously some still do but they live in places like Staines and Slough where seeing a film on a giant telly thingy is still literally the most exciting thing to do in the whole town!