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* Posts by LinkOfHyrule

1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009

Apple throws a wobbly over Steve Jobs dolly

LinkOfHyrule
Jobs Horns

The Apple workers collectable figurine range

They should stop making the Steve figurine and instead make a Foxconn iPhone factory worker one - instead of standing on an Apple logo, he or she would be standing on the factory roof.

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Kids want Santa to bring iPads not consoles

LinkOfHyrule
Jobs Horns

If LEGO was made by Apple

If LEGO was made by Apple you would only be able to get black bricks at the moment - as Steve has yet to find a white plastic he likes for the white bricks!

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Ten... sub-£50 budget MP3 players

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Bush craft

The Bush was only reviewed because of its name.

"Maybe that's being a little harsh on Bush, but having gone through several in the past, I don't feel too bad saying it."

"As usual with a Bush, it's simple and easy to use"

Not quite as good as the Bush radio review the Register did a while ago though!

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Online publishers and hosts launch libel reform campaign

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Which type of furry?

By furry, do you mean unshaven or dressed in mascot costumes?

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LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

I'm all in favour

I'm all in favour of such reforms if it means we can actually get comments allowed on stories about the music industry and Rupert Murdoch again here on El Reg!!!

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Anti-piracy lawyers 'knowingly targeted the innocent', says law body

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

"good" lawyers

These guys are not even "good" lawyers - they probably thought they were oh so clever with this little scam. All they basicly did was send blackmail letters asking for a few hundred quid (a few hundred quid is just beer money to any "decent" lawyer though isint it!).

Yeah, being a lawyer is such a sexy job if you work for Davenport Lyons - all those envelopes to stuff and those Excel spreadsheets full of IP address to wade through - HBO should make a f**ing drama series about it!

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Shell's London office UNDER WATER and besieged by GIANT EELS

LinkOfHyrule

title goes here apparently

I've heard this story about swimming pools either accidentally or on purpose, being built slightly to small, a couple of times before but I cant remember if it was referring to the Shell building. Maybe that drunk architect was the original source of it!

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LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

I thought this was another one of "those" stories

Wow, this is funny! I'm shocked this story is true - I thought this was another one of those stories from the Register with a totally bonkers, not what it first seems, headline!

I was expecting another story about a google earth mistake which had placed the Shell building in the middle of the Thames or something!

I just love the thought of some oil exec pushing the call button for the lifts and moments later "ding", door opens and out pours a torrent of eel infester water!

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Foxconn hit by worker protests

LinkOfHyrule
Stop

lavish lifestyles

I've read many reports on working conditions in Chinese factories - never seen such lavish lifestyles that you have mentioned. I have however seen plenty of pictures of revolting shared dorms and toilets, dangerous factories full of junk, raw materials and finished goods blocking fire exits, people sleeping under their workstation during lunch breaks and visibly ill and injured workers with vacant worn out expressions slogging over making whatever product it is the factory makes like slaves.

As for overtime, its not uncommon for it to be forced, and the accommodation and meals provided are often so bad that some workers in these factories opt to eat out or rent a flat or room to avoid them even if they don;t have an option of getting more pay for not making use of the firms own facilities.

Anyway, whatever who cares - as long as nice shiny smart phones come out the other end who cares eh!

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Street View hits 20 German cities

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

They should have

They should have blurred out every building in that scene - some really ugly examples of prefabricated concrete uglyism there!

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Brits say 'no, no, no' to 3D TV

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

3D???

Well seeing as most of the acting on telly is one-dimensional, I hadn't actually realised that 2D TV was even available!

Mines the one with a copy of "crap forum comments and jokes for Dummies" in the pocket.

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UK.gov ignores 'net neutrality' campaigners

LinkOfHyrule
Unhappy

A series of tubes

The BBC is reporting on this story - I like the reference to pipes http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11773574

Thanks for trying to f***-up the interwebtubez, tory idiots. Why not make all unemployed people's internet connections unable to connect to anything other than job centre and loan shark websites while your at it!

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Blogger faces terror charges for 'naming MPs'

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Words FAIL me

Wow, I'm sure every item in existence could be described as containing "information likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism" so we're clearly all guilty!

If this blogger is a little bit naughty in the terroristy sense though surely some help from mental health professionals would do the trick, not a court case. And I'm giving the police and courts the benefit of doubt saying that as from the sounds of things all he did was make a list of publicly available information and he gets the blame for some nuttah he doesn't even know, actions!

Maybe it's the authorities who need the psychiatric help!

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Facebook bug sin-bins female users

LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

upload a image from a government-issued ID card

WTF? Since when has this 419ish tactic been a normal way of identifying yourself to social network sites? Is facebook sponsored by New* Labour or something?

*lol it's not new any-more is it!

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Speak geek: The world of made-up language

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Sod Elvish

Sod Elvish, what about Hyrulian!!! :oD

Anyway, I always thought Elvish was a mega famous rock and roll singer from Cornwall ??!!!

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Cyber cops crush plod-snapper site following Millbank riot

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Okay then

Okay then, why the hell should five to sixteen year-olds have free education then? According to your logic they shouldn't.

Why is the air we breath free? Lets charge for it!

uuuuggghh!

FAIL

Oh and LOL at "glad my taxes" - such a classic Daily Mail readers turn of phrase that! Are you sure you went to uni?

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LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Good publicity for fitwatch though

Good point! They should write to Amazon too and tell them to unhost their site as it's probably helping offenders by selling stuff they might use to break the law with!

Good publicity for fitwatch though, no doubt the sites name will confuse some though, thinking its some sort of attractiveness rating service or dating site!

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Calls for US nudie perv scanner 'opt-out day'

LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

Seriously WTF

Those pics are revolting, made me feel physically sick! I'm not saying that to be funny either, those are gross. If that's what the security staff at the airports will have to look at each day then I say get rid of the scanners on taste issues at the least! Or at least provide baff bags to ground staff too!

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Facebook unveils 'next-gen' messaging system

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Woah!

Ease off the cum slinging people!

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Chicago officer beats off dildo-wielding bill-skipper

LinkOfHyrule
Coffee/keyboard

clear, rigid feminine pleasure device

I'm sorry but that phrase is just too funny.

Great, I've just spat tea all over my opaque, rigid, multi-gender typing device!

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Xbox Kinect costs just £35 to build

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

I watched the video teardown the other day

I watched the video teardown on ifixit the other day - I like the little comment about the fan being there because of past xbox overheating problems maybe!

When, oops, I mean IF, the Kinect goes wrong, I wonder if we will get the red finger of death this time? I don't know which is more painful, a red ring or a red finger!

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Tory councillor arrested over 'stoning to death' tweet

LinkOfHyrule
Flame

We need freedom of speech in this country

We need freedom of speech in this country. I want the people of this country to say what they really feel without fear of prosecution . That way, the members or the Tory party will be able to spout off their true opinions of ethnic minorities, the poor etc and then maybe the public will wake up to the fact that they have voted in (well sort of voted, they didn't actually win did they) the most out of touch bunch of selfish scumbags we've seen since the last time they were in power!

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Twitter joke martyr loses appeal

LinkOfHyrule
Flame

Good old Britain with its sense of fair-play

Well done Britain!

He's lost two jobs, he's in debt to the tune of thousands, he'll have trouble getting another job not only because of the criminal conviction but because their aren't any jobs. And soon, he'll be told by our new overlords that he's a lazy, work-shy, lay-about dole-scum and that if he wants to continue getting his £65 a week dole money, he'd better do some forced labour!

And all because of a joke on twitter! Yes it was a crap a joke but the punishment is a little harsh!

Good old Britain with its sense of fair-play.

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Microsoft Xbox 360 Kinect

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

No its not!

"it's going to turn into their primary domestic computing interface."

No its not! I'm not holding my arm up in the air for two and half seconds just to click on the sodding start menu (or windows menu as I think they renamed it now after years of clicking start to turn off PCs) !!!

As for Milo, I think you need a enhanced CRB check before you're allowed to play that one!

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LinkOfHyrule
Stop

I think we will have to wait

I dosen't matter how good the hardware is, its the games that make the console. At the moment there are just a few games out for this thing and obviously I wouldnt judge the system based on those alone as they are early simple games (probably), essentially a step up from tech-demos. Once more games (or not) get released for the thing, then I think we will be in postition to actually judge how well the Kinect is fairing against the Move and Wii.

It seems pointless reviewing the Move and Kinect right now - all there is to say about both of them is "they work, there's a few shit games, one good game and playing makes you look silly like the wii did four years ago".

I think we will have to wait until after next Christmas's shopping season to find out for sure if this thing is going down well with consumers and if the games are good. Jurys still out for me!

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Google alerts users to Facebook contacts 'trap'

LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

LOL

hehe, that Google message sounds friggin' desperate if you ask me!

"Oh please don't leave me! I'm better than her! You'll regret it! She'll never give you what we had together!"

Flavour of the month (or flavour of the five to ten year period that huge US tech companies dominate) changes you know, Google! You'll be an oversized embarrassment to yourself just like Microsoft is now, one day too!

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Hacker unshackles Kinect from Xbox

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

I own it, i'll do wtf I like with it!

If companies don't want us tampering with their stuff then don't sell it to us - otherwise shut-up, please!

And if it's true that they are selling the thing at cost or a loss then I only have one thing to say to that... Ha-ha!

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Software engineer blogs own Starbucks wiretap

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

Flying low

I do hope that YKK will soon issue a critical update to fix his zip/zipper vulnerability!

Mines the one that won't zip up.

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BBC One HD to go live tonight

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

wow

Wow, I never knew Armando Iannucci was a Reg reader!

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LinkOfHyrule
Happy

Nothing apparent about it

Central Reading is a rural backwater. I grew up in the damn awful place, I know. :oD

Joking aside, you used to be able to get normal analogue telly from either the London region or the proper south region that covers the area depending on whether you lived on a hill or not and depending which way you pointed your aerial. I guess this doesn't apply to digital since the transmission power levels are lower.

Your lucky though, I cant get digital despite living two or three miles away from the transmitter because of a huge hill the blocks the signal out. I can't even get decent analogue either so I literally did stop paying the licence fee and now rely on iPlayer and other online telly watching sites. It will be 2012 until my local relay transmitter is upgraded to digital too but by then I probably still wont use it. Oh and I live in actual rural backwater called Surrey not in some Welsh valley surprisingly given the lack of telly-age.

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BT network goes titsup up north

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

It's the old

It's the old "Have you tried turning it off and on again" excuse!

Paris, cos she likes to be turned on again after an outage.

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Nominet to flog short domains

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Damn

bj.co.uk is already registered! Such a shame, I had high hopes for what I was going to do with that domain!

Now I just hope the Cook Islands still have bj.co.ck available!

Paris, cos it was gunna be a Paris fan-site of course!

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Ofcom to TalkTalk, Tiscali: Stop over-billing

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

There's no excuse

There's no excuse for this. You can't just go round sending people bills for stuff they aint brought. Oh, hang on, looks like you can until you get threatened with a fine. Silly me.

Bunch of fraudsters.

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Wales loses 'dot-cum' domain to tax haven

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Can we please have

Can we please have .tosser.uk for Surrey then?

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LinkOfHyrule
Coffee/keyboard

.cym

And always thought .cym was some sort of potential porn site domain! Silly me!

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Times celebrates disappearing readers

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

Yeah but

Yeah but I only read the Register for the stories bout Paris and cross-dressers in moats with dogs. Surely some of the readers come for the tech news, we need a readership demographics survey or something! I need to know what sort of people vote up and down my silly comments - worryingly, it seems like 80% of my comments are voted up!

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LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Great post but...

Great post but what I want to know is, which people are reading The Register?

Is it the people who think Paris is running the country?

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LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

There isn't enough FAIL in the world to describe this huge FAIL of Rupert's.

Yes, this comment may appear immature, but it has to be done, you can't argue with FAIL.

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Gov may restrict unfair dismissal claim rights

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

Cool

So that's what it was called then! Maybe now I can at least track it down before I'm too poor to be able to afford the interwebz (Or its made illegal/taxed too much for poor people to use it)

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LinkOfHyrule

Well at least...

Well at least they'll be able to do a remake of that "Gisa job" show!

The original is before my time and i've never seen it repeated on telly, only clips of that gisa job bloke.

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Seagate squirts out rectal cleaning spray

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Homoeopathic

I've just taken delivery of a brand spanking new homoeopathic 1TB hard-drive. I think I was ripped off though as the box just contains water - apparently thought the water "has the memory" of being a hard drive so it will still work!

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419ers threaten terrorism charges

LinkOfHyrule
Heart

I love this line

I love this line: "Note that we have done a proper investigation".

LMAO If only the real law enforcement agencies would use such wording too, we'd all feel so much safer in the knowledge that the law was being upheld because the investigation was "a proper" one!

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UK border police seize £500k from Nigerians' hand luggage

LinkOfHyrule
Coffee/keyboard

haha

Your post made me lol (LAUGH OUT LOUDS)

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'Condom in my Whopper' man pulls case

LinkOfHyrule
Coffee/keyboard

"masticating on the rubbery prophylactic"

Damn, that was so funny it made me spit my load all over the keyboard!

(The load was of course tea)

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Lexmark adds Twitter to printer

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

WTF!

Love how printer makers are feeling so left out from the twitter craze!

What's next? Is Armatige Shanks going to add twitter and Facebook apps to toilets and urinals?

"doing a wee, nice selection of urinal cakes today!"

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Vodafone moves 360 goalposts

LinkOfHyrule

How would one go about it

Would you just call them up and say "I don't agree" and they would be obliged to end the contract? Someone should try this, I fear it wouldn't be easy, the call centre drones will probably just try to make you change your mind, offering you new tariffs etc.

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LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

"We dont use gas!" "What is gas!"

I don't even know what it even bloody is! I've only ever heard about though El Reg and yet I'm an actual Vodafone customer!

Great job lads and lassies down at Vodafone! You've made a shit product hardly anyone's heard of and of those who have, you have to force them to, well maybe not use, but to have it installed!

If only all of Britain's business possessed such skilful insight!

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Ryanair wins ihateryanair.co.uk because of £322 ad revenue

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

lol

I don't know, but if indeed they are that's pretty funny - duh!

Paris, cos I may of just had a dumb Paris moment!

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LinkOfHyrule

"and leave you stranded when the cr*p hits the fan"

"and leave you stranded when the cr*p hits the fan"

Shouldn't that be "When the crap hits the jet engine spinny roundy thingys"?

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Paris Hilton flashes her Brazilian...

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

That person on the Guardian

That person on the Guardian blog comments section who said the Register only publishes stories about naughty bits has yet again been proven wrong! This story is totally un-rude yet sounds rude from the Headline! Take that Guardian idiot!

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