* Posts by LinkOfHyrule

1657 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Dec 2009

'Porn lock' heralds death of WikiLeaks, internet, democracy, universe

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Oh and just one more thing, Evil Weevil...

Oh and just one more thing, Evil Weevil - you're real name doesn't happen to be Lt Columbo dose it? The flashers mac you're wearing is what gives it away!

You're the original mac fanboi!

Man caught w*nking over Alan Sugar's autobiography

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Can we please have

Can we please have a "Top ten people performing weird sex acts in public of 2010" countdown here on El Reg? Featuring stories like this from the past year. I'm not sure this will beat the bloke in sludge tank in Cornwall or the transvestite in the moat with the dog, though, but its still probably a top five contender!

David Attenborough dino doc shows limits of 3D TV

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

3D - the new DAB (In terms of FAIL)?

Something like a quarter of all people can't even see 3D screen images - and of those of us who can, headaches and eye-strain are a common occurrence apparently!

3D won't take off unless all tellies/monitors support it without the need of glasses and the cameras needed to produce the images become cheap and standard. Until then I'm calling 3D the new DAB! Or who knows, maybe it will be worst than that and it's actually the new HD DVD!

hahaha!

Xbox 360 outsells PS3 2:1

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

LMAO

"What's going to happen when Apple does a gaming console based on iOS?"

What, has Steve been working on the Pippin 2?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Bandai_Pippin

Bet Shiggsy's shitting himself!

Lock and load: Birmingham launches gunfire location IT

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

Ptoo

No you're not, but that's actually a bang on description of the sound!

iPad-smuggling women pinched in China

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

lol

I'm not a fan-biologist either but I have never actually met a fangurl that hardcore, its always the blokes so I was unsure of the correct naming!

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

Oh the irony

The bloody things are made in China!

And that one with twenty in her handbag, are you sure she wasn't just a typical Apple fanboi?

Mines the one brimming with fondle slabs and Jesus phones

(Bet someone made all these crap jokes before I got a chance to too!)

French woman chased up tree by wild pigs, rescued by copter

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

Daily Mail headline...

Will illegal French immigrant pigs march along Channel Tunnel and attack YOUR family?

Alan Sugar's 'cockup braindead in call centre clueless' BT row

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

heh heh hehe!

hehe, the only place I've ever seen the Amstrad Emailer phone is on the set of the Apprentice and also funnily, the set of I'm Alan Partridge!

Maybe Lord Suggsie should bring out a landline Twitter phone too, bring the range "up to date" *chuckles*!

Minister 'C*nt' promises £50m to get fabtastic fibre for all

LinkOfHyrule

There was

There was, but only in and around Tunbridge Wells.

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

I'm still waiting

I'm still waiting for porn on demand through a Prestel terminal that was promised on an old episode of "Micro Live" that was shown before I was born, that I watched on youtube the other day, that caused me to laugh at the hairstyles and fashions of the early '80s.

Paris, 'cus she's surprisingly well rendered in magenta block characters!

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

Jeremy

Hunt by name, c*nt by nature.

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Dunno

"PS Jeremy Hunt talked of his programme creating 'up to' 600,000 new jobs - anyone have a clue where these might be coming from?"

Dunno? Phorm operators? Phorm installation engineers? Phorm advertising sales department?

Anonymous attacks PayPal in 'Operation Avenge Assange'

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

you must admit

Ebay are very fair to all though you must admit - they're one of the few companies that actually screws everyone from consumers, to small business right up to big global luxury brands!

As long as they get their cut they don't seem to give a shit what's sold through their site! Whether its real of fake, was delivered on time or never showed up, nah, they don't care!* That's my opinion at least based on buying a fake product from their site.

Paris, 'cus at least with her, you know you're getting the genuine article and her dispute resolution system is second to none!

Gov decides not to have scientific advice on drugs any more

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Yeah, sod the scientists!

The new committee is made up of actual stoners and Daily Mail readers!

Sony sells Playstation-packing TV

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Or howabouts

How about a SEGA Megadrive shoved inside an Amstrad Emailer phone! hahaha!

LinkOfHyrule

looks weird

I think there was a Panasonic gamecube dvd player too.

Anyway, I actually really like the idea of a PS2 telly - I need both a new telly and was thinking of getting a PS2 too so that I can catch up on some Playstation classics I missed first time round - HOWEVER - that telly is so ugly! The base on that thing just looks weird if you ask me. Shame they didn't design it to be more like one of those DVD/telly combo units.

Popular sites caught sniffing user browser history

LinkOfHyrule

erratically pointing all over the place

I have my mouse speed and acceleration settings cranked to the max so that you only need to move the mouse about 2 millimetres to move the pointer from one side of the screen to the other (Because i use the mouse on my lap and I find it works for me!) so I'd love to see what their mouse snooping utility thinks of me if I were to visit their site and they see that I'm erratically pointing all over the place!

My Droid EXPLODED mid phone call, says Texan

LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

What the fox

I love how apparently owning a phone repair company qualifies you as being a general all-round "Tech Expert" according to the video report!

Mass mind control artist condemns El Reg to obscurity

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

Limbaughing up for a bad joke

This Rush Limbaugh guy is clearly very silly. I mean, who names themselves after a nerdy prog rock band?

Telegraph to charge for online news

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

@ dumb newspapers with paywalls

I've never enjoyed reading newspapers in their dead tree format. I have grown up with the firstly the TV news and then interwebz. I have never paid for news. Go behind your paywall, see if I and those like me care. Watch as your readership dwindles, meanwhile I'll be getting my news for free elsewhere (free being ad funded - you remember advertisers right? You used to have them when you had a readership!)

haha, they'll regret it every-time there's a huge story that in the past would have generated loads of page views and only their twenty-thousand or so subscribers can actually get to read it!

'Smear agricultural land with human poo'

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

But, on this topic, they're on pretty solid ground.

Are you sure they're not on pretty soiled ground?

How I saved the Macintosh

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

Great article!

I love these sort of articles that delve into the era of the industry that's before my time. A very enjoyable read, I can't view the videos at the moment but might check 'em out later!

Feds seize 70 'filesharing, dodgy goods' sites

LinkOfHyrule

Double standards

I notice youtube.com hasn't been seized - isn't it funny. Probably the largest cache of copyright infringing video content on the planet is totally immune from such measures - I wonder if that fact it's owned by a large multinational is why?!

The Mac that saved Apple (and Steve Jobs)

LinkOfHyrule
Troll

Very rare in the wild for a 'best seller' if you ask me!

I don't think I have ever seen one of these in the (transparent) flesh. I saw a few later models in college once and saw that flat-screen model that looks like a table lamp in a shop window once though!

It was quite an insight seeing what lurked beneath it's oh so '90s exterior! Speaking of which, I'm certainly no Apple fanboi but I would say this thing may of had some impact on the design of consumer electricals at the time as I remember a couple of models of 14" portable tellies for sale in 2000 or there abouts that where made from transparent plastic in an obvious nod to this machine.

I aint seen that many C64s lurking about either to be honest, ZX Spectrums on the other hand, I think they're a standard feature of every British attic by now!

Troll, as his hair is probably the same colour as one of those models of iMac.

Reg Hardware Reader Awards 2010

LinkOfHyrule

Playstation Move

Crap glowing wii remote dildo.

Stuxnet code leak to cause CYBER-APOCALYPSE NOW!

LinkOfHyrule

Sod Sky News

Sod Sky News, the Daily Mail should get on the case - I want to know if Stuxnet causes (or maybe cures) cancer!

Gamers demand CoD: Black Ops money back

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I want my money back

I want my money back because the original Gameboy version of Tetris has shitter graphics than the PC version!

Regional accent read-outs coming to satnavs

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

fat is a good story, fanks!

I pronounce my "Th"s as "f"s and I don't personally see what's so thucking wrong with it! Thor thucks sake!

Official: Playboy back cat stashed on hard drive

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Yeah good idea

I like the idea of a hard-drive that contains all back issues of the Daily Mail - however I don't think they make a large enough capacity drive yet to contain all the instances of the words "Asylum seeker" that have been used in that publication since its inception.

LinkOfHyrule
Coffee/keyboard

ewwww

Nasty!

It was probably also quite time consuming collecting all the back issues from bramble bushes in railway sidings which seems to be the place to get back issues of old jazz mags.

Apple throws a wobbly over Steve Jobs dolly

LinkOfHyrule
Jobs Horns

The Apple workers collectable figurine range

They should stop making the Steve figurine and instead make a Foxconn iPhone factory worker one - instead of standing on an Apple logo, he or she would be standing on the factory roof.

Kids want Santa to bring iPads not consoles

LinkOfHyrule
Jobs Horns

If LEGO was made by Apple

If LEGO was made by Apple you would only be able to get black bricks at the moment - as Steve has yet to find a white plastic he likes for the white bricks!

Ten... sub-£50 budget MP3 players

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Bush craft

The Bush was only reviewed because of its name.

"Maybe that's being a little harsh on Bush, but having gone through several in the past, I don't feel too bad saying it."

"As usual with a Bush, it's simple and easy to use"

Not quite as good as the Bush radio review the Register did a while ago though!

Online publishers and hosts launch libel reform campaign

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Which type of furry?

By furry, do you mean unshaven or dressed in mascot costumes?

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

I'm all in favour

I'm all in favour of such reforms if it means we can actually get comments allowed on stories about the music industry and Rupert Murdoch again here on El Reg!!!

Anti-piracy lawyers 'knowingly targeted the innocent', says law body

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

"good" lawyers

These guys are not even "good" lawyers - they probably thought they were oh so clever with this little scam. All they basicly did was send blackmail letters asking for a few hundred quid (a few hundred quid is just beer money to any "decent" lawyer though isint it!).

Yeah, being a lawyer is such a sexy job if you work for Davenport Lyons - all those envelopes to stuff and those Excel spreadsheets full of IP address to wade through - HBO should make a f**ing drama series about it!

Shell's London office UNDER WATER and besieged by GIANT EELS

LinkOfHyrule

title goes here apparently

I've heard this story about swimming pools either accidentally or on purpose, being built slightly to small, a couple of times before but I cant remember if it was referring to the Shell building. Maybe that drunk architect was the original source of it!

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

I thought this was another one of "those" stories

Wow, this is funny! I'm shocked this story is true - I thought this was another one of those stories from the Register with a totally bonkers, not what it first seems, headline!

I was expecting another story about a google earth mistake which had placed the Shell building in the middle of the Thames or something!

I just love the thought of some oil exec pushing the call button for the lifts and moments later "ding", door opens and out pours a torrent of eel infester water!

Foxconn hit by worker protests

LinkOfHyrule
Stop

lavish lifestyles

I've read many reports on working conditions in Chinese factories - never seen such lavish lifestyles that you have mentioned. I have however seen plenty of pictures of revolting shared dorms and toilets, dangerous factories full of junk, raw materials and finished goods blocking fire exits, people sleeping under their workstation during lunch breaks and visibly ill and injured workers with vacant worn out expressions slogging over making whatever product it is the factory makes like slaves.

As for overtime, its not uncommon for it to be forced, and the accommodation and meals provided are often so bad that some workers in these factories opt to eat out or rent a flat or room to avoid them even if they don;t have an option of getting more pay for not making use of the firms own facilities.

Anyway, whatever who cares - as long as nice shiny smart phones come out the other end who cares eh!

Street View hits 20 German cities

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

They should have

They should have blurred out every building in that scene - some really ugly examples of prefabricated concrete uglyism there!

Brits say 'no, no, no' to 3D TV

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

3D???

Well seeing as most of the acting on telly is one-dimensional, I hadn't actually realised that 2D TV was even available!

Mines the one with a copy of "crap forum comments and jokes for Dummies" in the pocket.

UK.gov ignores 'net neutrality' campaigners

LinkOfHyrule
Unhappy

A series of tubes

The BBC is reporting on this story - I like the reference to pipes http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11773574

Thanks for trying to f***-up the interwebtubez, tory idiots. Why not make all unemployed people's internet connections unable to connect to anything other than job centre and loan shark websites while your at it!

Blogger faces terror charges for 'naming MPs'

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Words FAIL me

Wow, I'm sure every item in existence could be described as containing "information likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism" so we're clearly all guilty!

If this blogger is a little bit naughty in the terroristy sense though surely some help from mental health professionals would do the trick, not a court case. And I'm giving the police and courts the benefit of doubt saying that as from the sounds of things all he did was make a list of publicly available information and he gets the blame for some nuttah he doesn't even know, actions!

Maybe it's the authorities who need the psychiatric help!

Facebook bug sin-bins female users

LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

upload a image from a government-issued ID card

WTF? Since when has this 419ish tactic been a normal way of identifying yourself to social network sites? Is facebook sponsored by New* Labour or something?

*lol it's not new any-more is it!

Speak geek: The world of made-up language

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Sod Elvish

Sod Elvish, what about Hyrulian!!! :oD

Anyway, I always thought Elvish was a mega famous rock and roll singer from Cornwall ??!!!

Cyber cops crush plod-snapper site following Millbank riot

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Okay then

Okay then, why the hell should five to sixteen year-olds have free education then? According to your logic they shouldn't.

Why is the air we breath free? Lets charge for it!

uuuuggghh!

FAIL

Oh and LOL at "glad my taxes" - such a classic Daily Mail readers turn of phrase that! Are you sure you went to uni?

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Good publicity for fitwatch though

Good point! They should write to Amazon too and tell them to unhost their site as it's probably helping offenders by selling stuff they might use to break the law with!

Good publicity for fitwatch though, no doubt the sites name will confuse some though, thinking its some sort of attractiveness rating service or dating site!

Calls for US nudie perv scanner 'opt-out day'

LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

Seriously WTF

Those pics are revolting, made me feel physically sick! I'm not saying that to be funny either, those are gross. If that's what the security staff at the airports will have to look at each day then I say get rid of the scanners on taste issues at the least! Or at least provide baff bags to ground staff too!

Facebook unveils 'next-gen' messaging system

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Woah!

Ease off the cum slinging people!