1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009
Yorkshire mills were the inspiration for Foxconn! The only thing Foxconn did differently was stack the back-to-back workers cottages on top of one another to form huge dormitories and then dangerously overcrowd them.
Mine's the one labelled "Made in Yorkshire"
Re: Exsqueeze me???
My advice, if you've got an angry bird who's constantly demanding to know where you are, then she's probably suspecting you're having an affair! Either dump her or go to Relate (or the Jeremy Kyle show and get hooked up to a lie detector and be laughed at by a million unemployed viewers, on national telly).
Re: Just as well I don't use Online Banking
Unless you fall victim to a bedroom based man in the middle attack - aka a threesome with a thief!
Re: Mario & Sonic at the olympics?
If you had told me twenty years ago that there would one day be a game staring both Sonic and Mario and it would be set in East London of all places, I would have literally spat on your back! What is this world coming too!
Dr Ashen is dicing with death with all the chemical soaked, knock off crap he comes into contact with.
Lube - the answer to everything!
I cannot stress this enough people - lube, lube, LUBE!
Lube - for all life's little problems!
They might as well do this on South West Trains too!...
I got on a train from Waterloo to Portsmouth Harbour one late night a few months back. Needing to use the loo, I politely waited outside of the disabled tardis toilet as it was engaged. A few minuets later, the door slides open and me and the other passengers in the vestibule are greeted by a drunk male commuter proudly proclaiming "I just had a wank in here!" - typical Surrey commuter!
I live in Surrey as dose My Hunt - I dread to think what Surrey TV would be like!
Why is catnip still legal then?
My old puss used to get smashed off her six tits on this stuff, how come pet shops are peddling this filth to children when it's clearly a legal feline high?!
Mine's the one that makes tails go erect!
I hate Macs 'cus...
I hate Macs 'cus I can't afford one.
Paris 'cus she is a natural fit with the town of Swindon.
As useful as a teapot?
So they're as useful as a teapot? I like tea, I'd find that quite useful.
How about saying they are as tasty as a dog stools teapot?
Reasonable but a bit shit
"Reasonable but a bit shit" - Microsoft's new advertising slogan
"DubStep ruins 'normal' car speakers."
Dubstep ruins everything.
Kev, this is an example of sarcasm
The man is clearly a fucking genius - I mean come on, he's got a chip in him that opens a door for him - he's the Jesus of Reading!
ima mop that bull
that phrase conjurers up images to me of a cowshed that desperately needs cleaning up!
I'll let you make the female nurses wear PVC if you're cool with me making all the male nurses wear full rubber uniforms!
C++0x is illegal here!
"C++0x" looks to me like the ASCII art representation of a depraved sex act involving barbed wire and as such is considered "extreme porn" under English law!
What in the name of Paris!
This is the same as me complaining that The Register causes me to type sarcastic bollocks into interweb forums! It just isn't true, I'm naturally predisposed to talk shit!
Zuckerburg - He's the mac daddy of the advertising industry!
I brought a cheap £5 vodaphone Nokia a few months back and as well as calls and texts it has a torch and a calculator!
I guess technically though those are kinda classed apps though - the "find your keys in the dark doorway app" and the "I'm very stingy and insist on only paying for own food and drinks when I go out for a meal with someone rather than paying an equal share app".
Paris, 'cus she's also technically classed as an app too!
Building measuring contest
My shed is officially the tallest building in my garden. Do I get a prize now?
That's one ugly box!
Paris, cos that's also one ugly box!
The right thing?
What, polluting the planet with yet more unusable xboxes - hows that the right thing! Stupid Microsoft should of made a console that actually works in the first place. They treat physical products the same as their shoddy software - when users start complaining about how shit it is they just send out a bloated update. Only instead of a Windows update shoved down a few interwebz tubes, this time is its a big box of badly bodged together cheap Chinese made electronics shoved through your letter box!*
*Yes I know that's gotta be one big-ass letter box, hence the Paris icon!
Someones been reading the Daily Mail
These scroungers you are on about receive job seekers allowance and they already have "to work for their money" - its called job hunting. If they don't do it they loose their benefits. I think you are getting "unfit for work" and "lazy" mixed up again. Yes there will be some scroungers but don't kid yourself that most benefit recipients are out there living a luxury lifestyle on your tax money cos they aint.
Paris, 'cus she can scrounge off me any time she likes!
I've never even bloody heard of these "brands" before. Actually I wasn't even sure Dixons were still going, I'm quite shocked they are!
Paris coz at least I've heard of her even if I don't know who she is and what she dose!
Why not just bring back workhouse George
Why not just bring back workhouse George and outsource its operation to Foxconn. It could be "staffed" by disability living allowance "scroungers" who because of their life limiting conditions can't actually work and be forced to make iPhones or something.
It will be cheaper than the current Chinese labour used and you could give all "hard-working Conservative voter families" a free iPhone if they keep you in power with free upgrades at every election. It will be good for the economy as once the plebs have tried the iPhone, they will never go back to a Nokia and Apple updates them every year yet you only hold elections what every 4-6 years or something? You'll be kinda like a drug dealer giving the first hit free and all the tax income you make from 4-6 years of iPhone upgrades and app sales will more than cover the cost of all the free phones and solve the budget deficit.
It's a good policy George, you can have it on the house!
Yes! Managed to slag off the Torries, Foxconn and Apple and even throw in some Daily Mail style headlines all in one comment! If only it was actually relevant to the story in question!
Well maybe this comment is a little silly
Hell no! The last thing I want is a piece of Microsoft technology controlling my household gadgets. Seriously, this is not a joke comment, I'm for real!
Microsoft you suck so hard, you can't make anything that actually works properly, your advertising campaigns are an embarrassment and your company name sounds like a medical condition that middle aged not-well-endowed men suffer from!
Well maybe this comment is a little silly but then again so is the idea of touching a bloody wall next to a light switch to turn the blooming lights on!
Paris, cos she lights up too when you touch her wall.
Ok i'll patent shitting then.
if you can patent this clickable video...
I think it's time I patented breathing. Yep that's right, if you can patent this clickable video shit and start suing people to make money then obviously breathing is also patentable. It's obviously an honest way to make a living, why do anything useful when I can sue people!
Paris, cos she's infringing my patent!
I just had a quick look and for some reason, something about it reminds me of Bing. Yuck!
Paris, cos she also reminds me of Bing but for very different reasons.
Very well done
Curing cystic fibrosis kicks ass! Nice one!
Shall we stop clearing up the litter from your street, maintaining your local park and all the other "free stuff" you get as well then? Are you actually saying that people who cannot work because of health issues should not have the right to have a "lifestyle". Yeah, all the severally disabled people with life limiting conditions will be over joyed hearing that, knowing that they will be fed and housed but can get to hell if they think they are entitled to a little money so that they can leave their home now and then for a day out or to visit family or buy a computer to use the interwebz.
Most people who don't work actually don't work because there are not enough jobs or they cant work. Daily Mail is that way son. Go read it if you want to believe all the myths about benefits claimants. You'll probably love it.
hard working my arse
In my opinion Titus Technophobe, those who trott out the "hard working families" line are usually selfish idiots who don't actually work hard at all. You think you work hard but compared to some people in this world, your life is so easy. If you don't like it then you can stop sending you kids to state school, stop using the NHS and getting all your prescribed drugs for free, stop using the public road network - you get the idea, all that "socialist toilet" stuff you use all the time. You're probably depriving a family that works harder than you do of its use.
And here I was thinking the Tories wanted to give benefit claimants tattoos, not remove them. Kinda concentration camp style "DOLE SCUM" and an ID number right accrues the forehead or something.
Or was that just a weird dream I had about my next visit to Job Centre Plus?
Haslemere is full of tits
You can't move for tits round here! The place is jam packed with 'em! And I'm not talking about the Blackberry using suited kind that spew into and out of commuter trains at rush hour!
At this rate, LittleBigPlanet 3 will be a third party Wii 2 game!
They paid $4K for that?
I can write better music on a sodding Commodore Amiga! Na it must be the "professionally" produced video that cost actual money.
Don't take my Paris!
Don't take my Paris! Please! Seriously, don't, she is responsible for most of my upvotes (experience points) thanks to all the cheap shots I have at her expense!
The Frycon idea is good, quite interesting in fact - boom boom.
Maybe replace the grammar Nazi one with the Guardian's logo?
An icon representing Big Society? Maybe it could be a boarded up council library or a malnourished child?
Picture of a fluffy kitten for hard hitting serious stories? I'm out of ideas now.
www.theregister.xxx - sucking the hand that feeds IT
I'm so funny!
Wii is being slashed is it?
Well slashing is what normally happens when you have a wee is it not?
Mines the one that smells like a care-home resident.
"It is British too"
"So the H2O is conceptually excellent. It is British too,"
David Cameron is also British, but that doesn't change the fact that he's an ugly, useless, cheap and nasty, lump of tat.
Don't buy British for the sake of it!
Paris, 'cus although she aint British, she is at least conceptually excellent!
I OWN 50% OF TEH REGISTER BOOK
I'm sure I once lived near someone who writes for the the register and we probably get our wood pellets from the same place so I'm demanding you hand over 50% (FIFTY PERCENTS) of the website to me. I'd like the bottom 50% of each page please.
Time wasting arse-head tory.
I've already got a w***ometre...
...it's called a lazy boyfriend!
Mines the one with the encrusted stains.
we aint got any as I ain't been to tescos yet
A certain newsagents outside a railway station somewhere on the Portsmouth to Waterloo line buys their fags at tescos and sells them over the going rate! Well at least did a couple of years back, not sure if they still do. I know because I asked for twenty Bensons' once and the lady behind the till said "sorry, we aint got any as I ain't been to tescos yet!"
squeezing cash from those polygonal udders!
"milk their now-ancient cash cows of Zelda, Metroid, Mario, etc"
Urm, that's a good thing if you ask me! And they're hardly unique in doing so - remind me how many GTA, Halo or COD games there are now? The game industry is all about squeezing cash from those polygonal udders!
Also how is one FPS not essentially a remake of all the ones that came before it. COD is basically Doom with bad voice acting and prettier graphics.
Paris, 'cus I mentioned udders.
What's the difference between an iPhone and...
What's the difference between an iPhone and a Foxconn employee?
If someone in the seat, or a few seats, in front of you is using a laptop on the class 444 or 450, look up at the glass luggage racks above the seating - they reflect the screen image quite often - it's handy for spying! Well actually, its handy if you want to be bored stiff watching someone work on a spread sheet or watching last-nights EastEnders on iPlayer. I did once see someone coding on the train though - probably one of you lot lol!
Install windows on your machines too, statistically it will make you live longer and you will get more sex!
People who play FarmVille...
"People who play FarmVille actually spend real money to buy virtual food or whatever it may be for their pig."
Yeah, these are the same people who get addicted to online bingo - you are scum really for targeting a business at this type of customer. Kid's are going to go without with food so their crazy-ass mother can feed her virtual pig you know!
- HALF A BILLION TERRORISTS: WhatsApp encrypts ALL its worldwide jabber
- HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rocking boffin Brian Cox
- Bang! You're dead. Who gets your email, iTunes and Facebook?
- YOU are the threat: True confessions of real-life sysadmins
- Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review