1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009
Re: Privacy Stuff
The government needs to see your popping veins to check to make sure you're not conducting a terrorist attack on the sewer system by dumping a huge pipe blocker of a turd!
You need to stop criticising dude - THEY ARE DOING IT FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR CHILDREN! Jeeze!
</joke> - don't worry I'm not Eadon 8.1 lol
Re: I wonder how many real victims of child abuse who have been photographed saw it and thought
It effing disgusting - Cameron is a nasty little man - any intelligent person can see that. Only thick people vote for him though and he knows it - heck he spends every day clearly demonstrating it!
Re: "Microsoft is warning Brits who use its Bing search engine..."
Seeing as in Chrome you search from the url bar I will think you'll find Chrome offers a fully integrated peadoing experience so your're all wrong!
Google - the peado's choice™
Re: I think there's an internal Reg competition
It was actually explained somewhere else on the site a few days ago that they have a crack team of highly skilled headline bitches in their basements!
This isint a joke either, this was the official line from an El Reg head honcho! - well maybe not head honcho - I cannot remember who, some person who writes stuff here, I forget their names, its all to easy to when the headlines are so great! who pays attention to the actual authors and the stories with headlines like this!
Re: A REGISTERED TRADEMARK Story?
If you ever do change the house style then I think you should opt for Paris inside a circle. Sort of like a no smoking sign but instead its a YES Paris sign!
I think that would really work.
Re: jazz cigarette
This is the second time in the past month or so el Reg has used the term "jazz cigarette" in an article - it cracks me up every time!
via chat lines such as Facebook or Myspace
Oh yes facebook that well known "chatline". What's the number again? oh yeah it's 0891 505050 if I'm not mistaken!
Re: Good Pricing!
For twenty notes you're either talking smackhead down an alley way or a bumper pack of Waitrose Organic Italian on the vine!
Re: "blames the conservative UK market"
Well I knew that - it was a joke hence the joke icon - unless you mean the other person - I don't know if they knew that though - I'm confused now, bloody conservatives fault that is!
"blames the conservative UK market"
Sod blaming the market - just blame the Conservatives instead! They do seem to mess a lot of stuff up at the moment so it likely is their fault in some way! I don't think ill and older people can afford to eat any-more let alone buy "falling-down-the-stairs-detector-phones" so yeah it is their bloody fault!
Re: bollock shares?
I'm pretty poor - I wonder how much a pubes worth would cost?
Re: Fire up the pun-o-tron
I don't know about you but I'm just "itching" to comment on this...
Probably the biggest load of bollocks I have seen on El Reg for a while!
Little ones or big hills.
I think he should just sneak out of Russia, hop on a channel tunnel freight train like all good illegal immigrants do, jump off in the UK and make his way to North Wales. Once there, clamber up it's highest mountain, find a cave and live out the rest of his life as a hermit.
It would be the ultimate in hiding in plain sight - Snowden up Snowdon!
Just had word from the head of the wardrobe department on this new Jobs film - apparently it was the easiest gig they have ever done - they just filled a trailer up with Levis and black turtle necks - job(s) done!
Re: *If* Clare Perry *really* wanted to do something for "The children"
Kids can't vote - fuck 'em!
I think that's the motto!
Re: It's all so depressing
Don't do that you'll be put on a watch list containing the names of anarchists, terrorists and people in their 90s!
Re: "specially-trained team of sub editors"
Oh come on, they do their best! I'd like to see you do a better job of it without any light, water or hope of freedom and the constant threat that senior el reg staffers will get their whips out!
Re: Bill Ray, you are wasted
Those guys do important work! The sub editors here sometimes get a little bit of stick for the odd typo slipping through into articles but their headlines are always crafted to perfection - this ones a corker, it should be entered into this years Booker Prize for literature!
Paris because this headline's worth it!
Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?
Can I just say - 120 upvotes - an impressive opening round there! I think that is scientific enough to undoubtedly say that porn bloke is indeed an high order bellend!
I make shit music which is available for free at a well known "cloudy" "sound" website that dosnt even work properly half the time - I wish I got 7 cents for every play - id have ooh maybe £40-£60 by now - not bad for three years work! </sarcasm>
Re: The sex-blog platform
Imagine if this place renamed as "Da Regiztr"
The sex-blog platform
No wonder its called Tumblr - I thought it was just a shit name I never knew they put so much clever wittiness into its naming!
Re: Dear Advertising Scum. STFU, GTFO, FOAD, & HAND.
I think its done deliberately to confuse American tourists - a bit like how you can get a train from Norwich to both Liverpool Street station and Liverpool Lime Street!
Its quite clever when you think about it - all those unnecessary train journeys by foreigners add quite a bit to our economy once you add them all up! British inventiveness at its best!
Re: Dear Advertising Scum. STFU, GTFO, FOAD, & HAND.
Oh and P.S.
I prefer Party Rings to Third Party Cookies so eff you adverscum!
Re: Dear Advertising Scum. STFU, GTFO, FOAD, & HAND.
The A3 goes between London and my beloved Portsmouth actually!
I love Pompey, its my favourite of all the run down inner cities!
!sdratsab ykaens ehT
I'll get me coat!
Mines the one that's on back to front of course!
Luckily there aint that many smack heads knocking around so it shouldn't be too much of an issue. Those that do lose their home, well that could be the perfect chance to get them into a rehab centre. I still dont understand the W Bush and Blar bit though - were they on smack too?
I wish I knew what you mean but your comment is a bit too "tony blair and george w bush" for me to understand.
Re: In the eBook market
Some people enjoy being shafted by Apple though don't they!
It must have something to do with the rainbow coloured Unicorn horn they use to do said shafting!
Re: It's alright folks....
Check this out its totally badass!
If he's guna shove adverts down my face I'm okay with it as long as its THIS advert!
If I was an unemployed youth...
Then I would take my lead from Eddie Hitler and just look at the camera and say the following;
"Smooth, suave, sophisticated - you got it!"
I bet the people who have this thing don't care anymore anyway seeing as all their friends stopped emailing them when the Amstrad Em@iler phone went titsup they have no used for it anyway!
My interesting fact abut it is obviously completely made afterall! Fitting really!
I have only ever read it the once back in the 90s - found a copy in my dad's mag rack! I remember thinking "I have never seen so many adverts for sex lines outside of Soho phone boxes!"
I was also reminded of the Sport earlier this week watching the DVD of Bottom Live and seeing Eddie "reading" it!
What a load of old bollocks!
You must be "bat shit" crazy to come up with an article such as this!
Joking aside the headline does remind me of the Sunday Sport - now there was a newspaper! Except I think for legal reasons it wasn't actually published as an actual 'news' paper!
Re: With the £1,000 prize from the sponsors Cuprinol
Blimey, that's getting all meta! Its the shed/boat equivalent of Russian dolls crossed with thingies cat and the age old chicken and egg question - its making my head hurt just thinking about!
With the £1,000 prize from the sponsors Cuprinol
I like the wooden bloke they used to have in their adverts. hmm I really must stain some wood sometime. urm anyway... good bit of marketing there! Back to the sheds...
I wonder if you could make a boat out of an upturned shed?
Re: probably at the orders of the Bilderberg Group
That's just a drinking club - they get together, have a natter and play some darts! Maybe even a bit of wii Sports Bowling if Peter Mandleson remembers to bring it!
Na if anyone is doing any new world ordery stuff like that, they'll be in the secrete bunker with an army of evil elves and a shark infested swimming pool at their disposal.
I knew Northampton must have been famous for something!
I heard different - I heard he woke up one morning to find Steve Ballmer on his doorstep in a pissed off mood - "So you think Windows 8.1 on is FAIL do you? Take your coat off and meet me in the parking lot, we're guna settle this like developers!"
Eadon is still in the hospital - they still can't remove the six foot cardboard cutout of a Windows Start menu that Steve used on him as a finishing move!
If you are missing him though don't worry, I've been told I do a good impression of him sometimes much to my horror!
Re: It's like a Status Quo compilation album
They should bring that out - iQuo the album - and because it's Apple, it only uses one chord!
Does Jamie Oliver still do adverts for Sainsbury's?
If he does, will this mean that when you phone up the Sainsbury's Mobile pay as you go Top-Up line you'll be greeted with...
"allo me old mockney sparrahw , big up for calling the Sainsbury's top up line! Spend a monkey on top ups this month and we'll give you a pukka helping of web access for free and a couple of scores of free texts!...."
I notice Paris is now batting for the other side in terms of forums posts - I cannot say I am at all surprised but it may take a little getting used to!
what CEO Tim Cook calls "wearables"
I'm not interested in Apple wearables - get back to me when you start doing "insertables" and you never know, maybe you could end up turning a few of us sceptics!
Cool - another one I aint heard of before!
Another great read!
They've already made a movie about him aint they?
It wasn't a Hallmark channel made for TV cry-fest though it got a full cinema release... that one where Tom Hanks lives in an airport!
We've got a Lloyds and a Boots right next to each other here - talk about turf wars! I expect they'll be gang banging next, fighting over who controls the corner so they can sling their prozac and tampons!
Can I suggest shoving a pipeline directly into the gobs of leading politicians of all sides and fracking the heck out of their faces? They spout so much hot air that there's bound to be a usable and sustainable gas supply in there somewhere!
Sherlock 'cus he's already got a pipe sticking out his chops!
I'm not him, I have the jokes taking the piss out of Linux on this very forum to prove it! And I actually like some Microsoft products, Solitaire is decent enough! haha!
They have done a number of look backs at old stuff im too young to know about over the years, quite often when some iconic bit of gear or software reaches a 10, 20 or 30 year birthday - I think its time they created a dedicated "old stuff covered in cobwebs" section on the site so that we can find them all easily!
Could call it, "El Reg's shed" or "Take me up the loft hatch!"
- Vid Reg bloke zips through an iPHONE 6 queue from ZERO to 60 SECONDS
- Anal-ysis Buying memory in the iPhone 6: Like wiping your bottom with dollar bills
- Bacon-related medical breakthrough wins Ig Nobel prize
- Teardown Pop open this iPhone 6 and see where the magic oozes from ... oh hello again, Qualcomm
- Competition Your chance to WIN the WORLD'S ONLY HANDHELD ZX SPECTRUM