Posts by LinkOfHyrule
1509 posts • joined Friday 11th December 2009 10:15 GMT
Page:
Exactly
I brought a cheap £5 vodaphone Nokia a few months back and as well as calls and texts it has a torch and a calculator!
I guess technically though those are kinda classed apps though - the "find your keys in the dark doorway app" and the "I'm very stingy and insist on only paying for own food and drinks when I go out for a meal with someone rather than paying an equal share app".
Paris, 'cus she's also technically classed as an app too!
Building measuring contest
My shed is officially the tallest building in my garden. Do I get a prize now?
That's one ugly box!
Paris, cos that's also one ugly box!
The right thing?
What, polluting the planet with yet more unusable xboxes - hows that the right thing! Stupid Microsoft should of made a console that actually works in the first place. They treat physical products the same as their shoddy software - when users start complaining about how shit it is they just send out a bloated update. Only instead of a Windows update shoved down a few interwebz tubes, this time is its a big box of badly bodged together cheap Chinese made electronics shoved through your letter box!*
*Yes I know that's gotta be one big-ass letter box, hence the Paris icon!
Someones been reading the Daily Mail
These scroungers you are on about receive job seekers allowance and they already have "to work for their money" - its called job hunting. If they don't do it they loose their benefits. I think you are getting "unfit for work" and "lazy" mixed up again. Yes there will be some scroungers but don't kid yourself that most benefit recipients are out there living a luxury lifestyle on your tax money cos they aint.
Paris, 'cus she can scrounge off me any time she likes!
Dix-heads
I've never even bloody heard of these "brands" before. Actually I wasn't even sure Dixons were still going, I'm quite shocked they are!
Paris coz at least I've heard of her even if I don't know who she is and what she dose!
Why not just bring back workhouse George
Why not just bring back workhouse George and outsource its operation to Foxconn. It could be "staffed" by disability living allowance "scroungers" who because of their life limiting conditions can't actually work and be forced to make iPhones or something.
It will be cheaper than the current Chinese labour used and you could give all "hard-working Conservative voter families" a free iPhone if they keep you in power with free upgrades at every election. It will be good for the economy as once the plebs have tried the iPhone, they will never go back to a Nokia and Apple updates them every year yet you only hold elections what every 4-6 years or something? You'll be kinda like a drug dealer giving the first hit free and all the tax income you make from 4-6 years of iPhone upgrades and app sales will more than cover the cost of all the free phones and solve the budget deficit.
It's a good policy George, you can have it on the house!
Yes! Managed to slag off the Torries, Foxconn and Apple and even throw in some Daily Mail style headlines all in one comment! If only it was actually relevant to the story in question!
Well maybe this comment is a little silly
Hell no! The last thing I want is a piece of Microsoft technology controlling my household gadgets. Seriously, this is not a joke comment, I'm for real!
Microsoft you suck so hard, you can't make anything that actually works properly, your advertising campaigns are an embarrassment and your company name sounds like a medical condition that middle aged not-well-endowed men suffer from!
Well maybe this comment is a little silly but then again so is the idea of touching a bloody wall next to a light switch to turn the blooming lights on!
Paris, cos she lights up too when you touch her wall.
ok.....
Ok i'll patent shitting then.
Posted in Alpha.gov.uk – it's nearly a beta
eeewwwww
I just had a quick look and for some reason, something about it reminds me of Bing. Yuck!
Paris, cos she also reminds me of Bing but for very different reasons.
if you can patent this clickable video...
I think it's time I patented breathing. Yep that's right, if you can patent this clickable video shit and start suing people to make money then obviously breathing is also patentable. It's obviously an honest way to make a living, why do anything useful when I can sue people!
Paris, cos she's infringing my patent!
Very well done
Curing cystic fibrosis kicks ass! Nice one!
Free stuff?
Shall we stop clearing up the litter from your street, maintaining your local park and all the other "free stuff" you get as well then? Are you actually saying that people who cannot work because of health issues should not have the right to have a "lifestyle". Yeah, all the severally disabled people with life limiting conditions will be over joyed hearing that, knowing that they will be fed and housed but can get to hell if they think they are entitled to a little money so that they can leave their home now and then for a day out or to visit family or buy a computer to use the interwebz.
Most people who don't work actually don't work because there are not enough jobs or they cant work. Daily Mail is that way son. Go read it if you want to believe all the myths about benefits claimants. You'll probably love it.
hard working my arse
In my opinion Titus Technophobe, those who trott out the "hard working families" line are usually selfish idiots who don't actually work hard at all. You think you work hard but compared to some people in this world, your life is so easy. If you don't like it then you can stop sending you kids to state school, stop using the NHS and getting all your prescribed drugs for free, stop using the public road network - you get the idea, all that "socialist toilet" stuff you use all the time. You're probably depriving a family that works harder than you do of its use.
weird dream
And here I was thinking the Tories wanted to give benefit claimants tattoos, not remove them. Kinda concentration camp style "DOLE SCUM" and an ID number right accrues the forehead or something.
Or was that just a weird dream I had about my next visit to Job Centre Plus?
Haslemere is full of tits
You can't move for tits round here! The place is jam packed with 'em! And I'm not talking about the Blackberry using suited kind that spew into and out of commuter trains at rush hour!
Hahaha
At this rate, LittleBigPlanet 3 will be a third party Wii 2 game!
Twats
They paid $4K for that?
I can write better music on a sodding Commodore Amiga! Na it must be the "professionally" produced video that cost actual money.
Don't take my Paris!
Don't take my Paris! Please! Seriously, don't, she is responsible for most of my upvotes (experience points) thanks to all the cheap shots I have at her expense!
The Frycon idea is good, quite interesting in fact - boom boom.
Maybe replace the grammar Nazi one with the Guardian's logo?
An icon representing Big Society? Maybe it could be a boarded up council library or a malnourished child?
Picture of a fluffy kitten for hard hitting serious stories? I'm out of ideas now.
Posted in XXX domain names go live
www.theregister.xxx
www.theregister.xxx - sucking the hand that feeds IT
I'm so funny!
Posted in Wii price cut coming
Wii is being slashed is it?
Well slashing is what normally happens when you have a wee is it not?
Mines the one that smells like a care-home resident.
Posted in H2O water-powered shower radio
"It is British too"
"So the H2O is conceptually excellent. It is British too,"
David Cameron is also British, but that doesn't change the fact that he's an ugly, useless, cheap and nasty, lump of tat.
Don't buy British for the sake of it!
Paris, 'cus although she aint British, she is at least conceptually excellent!
I OWN 50% OF TEH REGISTER BOOK
I'm sure I once lived near someone who writes for the the register and we probably get our wood pellets from the same place so I'm demanding you hand over 50% (FIFTY PERCENTS) of the website to me. I'd like the bottom 50% of each page please.
T.W.A.T
Time wasting arse-head tory.
Posted in W**k-O-Meter
I've already got a w***ometre...
...it's called a lazy boyfriend!
Mines the one with the encrusted stains.
we aint got any as I ain't been to tescos yet
A certain newsagents outside a railway station somewhere on the Portsmouth to Waterloo line buys their fags at tescos and sells them over the going rate! Well at least did a couple of years back, not sure if they still do. I know because I asked for twenty Bensons' once and the lady behind the till said "sorry, we aint got any as I ain't been to tescos yet!"
squeezing cash from those polygonal udders!
"milk their now-ancient cash cows of Zelda, Metroid, Mario, etc"
Urm, that's a good thing if you ask me! And they're hardly unique in doing so - remind me how many GTA, Halo or COD games there are now? The game industry is all about squeezing cash from those polygonal udders!
Also how is one FPS not essentially a remake of all the ones that came before it. COD is basically Doom with bad voice acting and prettier graphics.
Paris, 'cus I mentioned udders.
Posted in iPhone 4 SURVIVES plunge from plane
What's the difference between an iPhone and...
What's the difference between an iPhone and a Foxconn employee?
Top Tip...
If someone in the seat, or a few seats, in front of you is using a laptop on the class 444 or 450, look up at the glass luggage racks above the seating - they reflect the screen image quite often - it's handy for spying! Well actually, its handy if you want to be bored stiff watching someone work on a spread sheet or watching last-nights EastEnders on iPlayer. I did once see someone coding on the train though - probably one of you lot lol!
Dual boot
Install windows on your machines too, statistically it will make you live longer and you will get more sex!
People who play FarmVille...
"People who play FarmVille actually spend real money to buy virtual food or whatever it may be for their pig."
Yeah, these are the same people who get addicted to online bingo - you are scum really for targeting a business at this type of customer. Kid's are going to go without with food so their crazy-ass mother can feed her virtual pig you know!
It is too expensive
It's not value for money at that price if you ask me. Knock £70 off at least - half its price off and its a must by for me. And redesign it, bloody hell its ugly!
Posted in Ten... fantasy swords you wish you owned
I have nothing to say on the matter actually
I have nothing to say on the matter actually.
Yes they need a survey!
Well not everyone uses porn for wanking you know. I quite enjoy looking at porn for its comedy value or for new ideas to try out.
This is serious comment by the way, not a joke one.
Posted in God-game creator granted Bafta gong
What about Milo?
What about Milo, the Kinect pederast simulator?
Posted in Exhibition to applaud videogames as art
There is beauty in everything
There is beauty in everything - including badly rendered 8 bit graphics.
This isn't a sarcastic comment either.
So God hates fags dose he?
So God hates fags dose he? What is that meant to mean, sounds like one of the government health warnings you get on packs of 20 Bensons!
Screw you WBC!
title goes here
I was just reading an article about Apple fucking over Last.fm thinking "where's the prison survival kit stuffed up the jacksie angle". Deal with it!
Posted in Brits luv broadband. True
I like your style!
So we have never heard of the marketing firm behind the survey and probably never will because you didn't include a link or even a name! I like your style!
I wish the "mainstream" media would do the same, especially breakfast telly - it just seems to be made up of news stories that all start: "A new survey out today shows..." or "A new survey out today highlights..." and so forth.
or.....
Or shove a penguin in the hole. Or a finger in the penguin.
Obvious joke alert
There already are humans kept as pets by machines - they're called "iPhone owners"!
I'm here all week, unfortunately.
Interesting concept - but this will never bloody work.
Interesting concept - but this will never bloody work. Far too many what ifs, I'm not even going to start. Maybe in a different format it could but a doo-dar you have to physically plug in? What is this, the '80s or something?
There is one simple solution already - become educated in online security and safety - know the risks and benefits and make informed decisions. That aint gunna happen for all people either I guess. Maybe we are all just screwed!
Paris, 'cus she's the original "plug in and forget it" device!
I live in Surrey
As well as being the most "wooded" county, we are also well known for our high levels of cocaine usage and wife beating amongst the middle-classes!
Stop showing off!
Bloody fanbois! You can be nearly as bad as those Appletards sometimes!
Posted in Dell to buy AMD?
Flashback lol
Will this be basically a bit like when Commodore brought 6502 CPU maker MOS - in the olden days?
Mines the one with a badly researched book about the history of computing in the pocket.
And I typed into Bing ...
"If you key in "ACS"," for instance, it may use your previous searches to determine whether you mean the "American Cancer Society" or the "American Chemical Society"."
And I typed into Bing "ACS company owner" and got a picture of a giant cock!
the most hardened fanbois :-D
Hang about - you are suggesting people throw their iPhones? I cant see the most hardened fanbois wanting to throw an Apple device (It just not natural to them) and I cant see the normal Apple customers wanting to throw their very expensive pieces of consumer electronics either (Yes Wiimotes arnt cheap but you don't ruin them by dropping or throwing them at the wall accidentally! - well that's debatable I guess)
If they are going to go down this route, they need to come out with a dedicated games controller. Controllers will be treated like toys - its what they are - they will be thrown, dropped and even used as weapons against our fellow man during multilayer games. I don't think the iPhone can take that sort of punishment.
Expect single button games controllers to make a come back any time soon - now in shiny white and with a glowing picture of a fruit on them!
And...
As a gamer, I have to ask - what's a Kinect?
Na only joshing with ya, I remember that thing!
Dudah, dudah, dudahdudah, boooo!
This is funny! All that needs to be said!
Your post is a bit fucked up
Your post is a bit fucked up - but I like it! Upvoted!
