1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009
Re: Alan Partridge?
I thought it was the Norwich branch of Tandy that closed on Christmas eve so Alan could browse without being annoyed by the public.
I am not happy with the depth of this review - you failed to mention how good it is at grating cheese - I assume it has that functionality, it certainly looks to me like it dose!
"dated and cheesy"
This is why I love MS - they just can't help but embarrass themselves time after time after time. Ohh Microsoft what are you like!
Paris as she also seems to get off on public humiliation!
Re: Hey Big Fat Dumb arsehole 555
I dunno if he's laughing but I am absolutely peeing myself - this post has made my day!
Re: I am probably going to be downvoted for this but...
That's okay matey! To be honest I like to "go for combos" in forum posts - I've slagged off the police and the apple fanbois in fell swoop here which is quite cool you gotta admit! These forums are like Farmville to me but with real people's feelings instead of virtual turnips!
I am probably going to be downvoted for this but...
I happen to know some "old bill" and they also happen to be "typical Mac users" - NO FUCKING WAY would I trust them to know how to operate this kit properly!
Wake up, your business model is totally shit and dose not make as much money any-more - deal with it you bunch of pussies! Yes, you're all pussies - you're scared, you cry yourselves to sleep saying "why do the big horrible general public steal my copyrighted work its not fair wa wa wa I want my mummy!" you bunch of pathetic, outdated, delusional, non-creatives!
Re: Oral sex? Really?
Maybe its doctor's medical notes shorthand for a promiscuous male with a history of oral herpes or something?
Brum's canals have a greater volume of turds in them than Venice's so give them some credit please!
RE: Travelling to space is a waste of time.
"If space was full of rubber or fish I could see the point"
What, kind of a like a fetish club come fishmongers? That'd be awesome - zero-g rubber orgy and a fish supper - count me in!
Just thought of a new angle on this...
As well as flogging the Big Issue, how about the sellers also flog QR codes that enable the downloading of porno mags. It saves the embarrassment of buying the physical version, you simple wink at the seller when you hand over the cash and he then presents you with a QR code from "under the counter" as it were.
I know its a shit idea but this is the publishing business were talking about here and it thrives on really shit ideas and bollocks business models!
Who the fuck are Microsoft to say I can only install apps I get through their Windows Poundshop Market Place or whatever the heck its called! If I have brought a bit of software than as far as I am concerned I can do what the frig I want to it mate! The effing cheek! I'm guna have to start drinking real ale and using Linux at this rate!
Re: There must be more to this................
He hacked into Big Dumb Guys Facebook account - and he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for the fact he typed a status update that wasn't all in upper-case!
All I can say is, if your piece is green, go see a doctor immediately!
Stelios I think also tried to sue a local bird I know who has a reputation for being too easy! He's not the first to sue her, in fact the local clap sufferers society wanted to try and start a class action!
I brought some potatoes off some big dumb guy last week - when I opened the packaging I was shocked to discoverer it actually contained a brand new iPhone!
Re: JUST WISHING
Sorry to go off topic but...
I have a confession to make Mrs Big Dumb Guy - I have fallen passionately in love with you since you started posting here - I think I have read three posts of yours now and I have a feeling which I have never felt stronger before about anyone - will you please marry me so we can run away to Western-Super-Mare and live happily every after together, until the machines rise and eliminate all of mankind!!!?!!!
I know it will be tough for Mr Big Dumb Guy and I will of course be sorry for his loss, but I just cannot resist a high quality upper-case MILF like yourself! I am your ticket out of here baby, we won't need the governments 'back of a fag packet' legislation idea as an excuse for you to leave him now - our love and the fine Westcountry resort of WSM will be all we need. Please say yes my love, for my heart melts like cheese on toast whenever I see your capitalised musings! xxx
Re: YEAH RIGHT
I'd love a threesome with you two, can I be your big dumb bitch?
LOL at anyone who says I can't be homophobic cos I'm not scared of my gay family member/friend/dog etc
Dude, I hate fast food joints but I don't soil myself whenever I walk past a McDonalds! The word homophobia dose not just mean an irrational fear - its also used to as a word for ignorant and often closeted people who can't come to terms with their own cuntishness!
Fucking most epic fail I have seen on this forum in a long time - turning a conversation about a spunk based font into a 'I think gay people should not have the same misfortune to get married' rant!
Mrs BIG DUMB GUY
I wasn't expecting this! I seriously pissed myself laughing at the concept!
Re: Company adds Sad Onions to Button Batteries
"An excellent forum posting"
Re: NO FUCKING P IN HAMSTER!!!!!
Damn I'm probably guna be offered sweets and kidnapped by some of you lot at this rate! Taken back to your secrete underground, tin foil lined, tech dungeon! Damn stranger danger getting me into trouble again!!!!!
I'm doing a Columbo here...
...Just one more thing - dose anybody else agree this thread is a contender for El Reg's "most off-topic forum thread" award? If so what do we win?
Mine the grubby flasher's mac.
Re: NO FUCKING P IN HAMSTER!!!!!
Blimey - you learn something new everyday - firstly that you can have 's and Ps and secondly that sometimes grammar Nazis do actually talk out of their arses after-all!
It's good to have a second opinion - thanks guys!
I have completely forgotten what the original point of this thread was now!
NO FUCKING P IN HAMSTER!!!!!
Don't apologise matey! I have seriously improved my spelling thanks to the grammar Nazis here in these forums! No P in Hamster - got it! Will add that to no ' in 1980s.
People like you provide a valuable service to those of us unfortunate enough to be educated under a combination of Thatcher, Major and Blair!
Re: More than enough...
PETAHampsters? I take it that's a new PETA breakaway movement devoted solely to destroying Freddie Starr?
Re: More than enough...
What's that in PEU (Paris Equivalent Units) then? 4.2 Jugawatts?
I would have had that image had this been 1997 and not 2012 - in my eyes the Simpsons started to suck ass as they say, around that time!
Roy Chubby Brown, Frankie Boyle and Jeremy Clarkson
Clarkson hosting a Google event...
"I think Google is gay. I think you're all gay because your logo is made up of lots of different colours and it reminds me of those flags you see outside gay pubs. There I said it! So I must be right! Cos I'm Clarkson! If you don't want to be gay, use Bing! - what do you mean I am not being paid now?"
Week later, his PR person issues an apology statement - which basically means he fires up a template in MS Word and dose a find and replace for BBC + Google and Gay + Germans. Standard stuff really, it happens so often!
Those two places must be at least a five minuet walk apart from each other - you could maybe shave a minuet off by going up Smelly Alley though. Dose it still stink of fish by the way? Not been for a while, I managed to escape the place ten years ago, the town became a bit too Microsofty for my liking!
The Yellow Pages is totally useless these days - even the paper its printed on is to thin to use as toilet paper! I know of no other use for it other than for those occasions when you need a breeze block to throw at someone but you don't have any to hand! Good old yellow pages!
Typical Daily Mail reader reaction to this story below...
There really are some weird fetishes on the internet these days. Thumbnail porn indeed! I have heard of toenail porn but thumbnails is taking it way to far! We need the goventards to block this filth I tell you!
Damn, and there was me thinking this was a website for Google's new range of transistor radios!
I know a few Yorkshire folk but I am not up to speed on the Lancashire dialect. To be fair I can barely speak English as it is so going northern is rather like doing a masters degree in a subject I can barley pass at GCSE level!
I reckon Apple should just buy ITV - imagine how funny Corrie would become - everyone would be in the Rovers Return on their iPads...
"oh aye chuck, have a looook at this new t'app in t'app store - I can now order a pint and a Betty's hotpot on me t'Apple t'iPad so dooont have t'go t'bar anymore!"
Or something like that, I cant do northern, I live in Surrey ffs!
Also, I'd imagine the sets would become much shinier and minimalist but they'd have to get rid of the cobbles as hybrids and Segways don't get on too well with bumpy road surfaces so I'm led to believe!
Wow, I can't wait for the inevitable "Babestation Leeds Edition" which will be needed I am sure during the overnight period to make the revenue stack up - local Yorkshire lassies with their local lullies out for the lads - only £1.50 per min for a private chinwag - well you don't get owt for nowt!
I'd like to see the BBC buy that as a shining example of local content and stick it on iPlayer!
Re: Sharks with lasers
That's quite cool! All we need now is some kittens with strobe lights and an owl with a disco ball and we've got ourselves a rave going!
I wanna milk MS like the big tech udder it is!
How do I get some of this magical Microsoft seed fund money? From the sounds of it, all I need to do is come up with a really stupid idea!
I know.... a tainted iPad app that has secrete dodgy code in it, that causes the iPad's power management circuits to malfunction resulting in the battery exploding! - it will be the ultimate iPad killer and just what MS needs for Windows 8 BS (or whatever its called) on ARM devices to be a success!
Either that or a new IDE interface with grey everything!
I love Big Dumb Guy 555 - he's my fave comentard! And he's also named after my fave integrated circuit!
I need a new one too, this one has the Z and the G the wronz way round!
I remember playing 18 rated games before I was legal age - that big red 18 symbol was a "OMG its cool cos its got swears in it!" marker. How the fuck are kids of today going to know which games are the cool ones now!? PEGI logos look so uncool in comparison!
Thank you Mr Vag!
Imitation is the sincerest form if flattery
When they rip you off, Mega-Hyper-Global-Corp, it's actually just their way of saying you rock and you're awesome!
Actually, those TV adverts provide a useful service - they alert me of which websites to avoid! For some people a silly-ass advert like that may appear 'jolly', but to me it acts as a kind of 'twatdar'!
I had the misfortune to redecorate a 1970s vintage flat and it had this exact wallpaper slapped all over the living room already! I'm calling BS on this - it's clearly just old stock from the bad old days of beige and wood-grain re-branded for the iTwat generation!
I've gone telly free - its great - right now the house is all lovely and peaceful!
My peace was spoilt the other week by some bloke from TV licensing knocking on my door, I just ignored him and he popped a note through my letter hole saying he'd be back - bring it on! Next time ill hand you back all the unopened letters from your organisational telling me I must be a criminal because I don't watch endless repeats of Come Dine With Me!
Re: *I think I paid around £27 with vat and shipping.
Matey, honestly, if anyone knows about the health problems smoking causes its us smokers trust me!
There is no need to lecture us, you should see the stuff I cough up of a morning, I think they use similar things for the slime effects in horror movies!
Anyway, I was trying to make a light hearted point about how you can buy a fully fledged capable computer for the price of weeks fags - back in the late 70s a comparatively similar computer would have cost half a Transit van's worth of duty-frees!
Paris because I mentioned coughing up slime and it reminds me of the episode of South Park featuring her!
*I think I paid around £27 with vat and shipping.
I spend more than that a week on fags! And this little gizmo would probably fit in a fag packet!
When I give up smoking I'm guna buy Raspberries instead!
Re: ANYBODY KNOW WHERE THE NEXT OLYMPICS IS
I know we shouldn't feed the trolls but I like this dude's style! He makes me laugh!
Leave the caps lock on dude! No need to be anti-capitalist!
yeah thanks, I wasnt expecting to laugh reading this comments! :oD
Don't stop me now
I'm having such a good time
Looking at your interwebz!
- Mounties always get their man: Heartbleed 'hacker', 19, CUFFED
- Analysis Oh no, Joe: WinPhone users already griping over 8.1 mega-update
- Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen
- Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning
- OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs