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* Posts by LinkOfHyrule

1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009

China wants to be techno SUPERPOWER

LinkOfHyrule
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Re: HAPPY HAPPY HARDCORE

I've got some Japanese Happy Hardcore, its quite cool. Would love to hear a Chinese take on the style.

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LinkOfHyrule
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Happy

Re: "Techno superpower"

I wonder if in a bid to save money, western dance music producers will outsource their music production to China? I can imagine a huge Foxconn factory just full of Macs, Midi controllers and speakers with hundreds of workers toying away knocking out the latest tunes - I wonder which production line would be the most prized to work on? I imagine it must suck to be on the Dubstep line, all that wobble bass would drive the workers insane!

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Steve Jobs was top of the flops, says Apple's Tim Cook

LinkOfHyrule
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Metro

It's London's favourite kind of litter. Available from your nearest railway station floor or train carriage seat.

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LinkOfHyrule
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Foxconn-rebranding company.

The Register is my favourite Out-Law.com re-branding company.

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EU vows to make asylum-seeker database 'more efficient'

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

I've heard the Daily Mail referred to as many things before but calling it an asylum-seeker database is being a bit loose with the terminology if you ask me!

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Olympic Wenlock plod cops condemnation from Amazon wags

LinkOfHyrule
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Boris Johnson mascot

I actually happen to have a little insider information about the official Olympic merchandising. They were actually going to bring out a little model of a Boris Johnson mascot until it was pointed out to them it would be significantly more electable than the real thing so had to abandoned it for fear the greatest city on earth would be ruled by inanimate lump of plastic with a silly hairstyle!

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BBC uses lifted Iraq war photo to depict Syrian slaughter

LinkOfHyrule
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FAIL

© teh inetwebz

Always makes me laugh when on the few occasions I have visited the Daily Mail website for some reason (usually involves me laughing and saying "oh my balls, what a bunch of BS") and I see a picture credited to "The Internet". I mean seriously FFS!

The scary thing is that most of their die hard fans probably think the internet is an actual legal entity - one which is systematically trying to corrupt their kids with extreme porn!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Re: Why, oh why...

Why are all of LinkOfHyrule's posts on this forum troll-ish?

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Sony to bring bog-friendly blowers to Blighty

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Finally a phone...

Finally a phone that can stands the demands of a large scale watersports party! I'm sure they did extensive researched and decided there was a market for it here. Do they know something we don't?

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Publishing barons: Free speech a 'cloak for tawdry theft'

LinkOfHyrule
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FAIL

They don't care if you break copyright if it makes them some dosh

There was a time when you could have sampled the shit out some old song, made a underground dance remix of it and if it got popular, nine out of ten times the rights holders would authorise you to release it legitimately once they saw the pound signs flash in their eyes at the thought of royalties. Sometimes though they would sue you if the tune had already sold big and get all the earnings from it.

If copyright infringement makes them money then they want to know. This is why you can sample other's music and get away with it if you make little or no money - it would cost them more to sue you than they would get in damages.

The reasons these guys want three strikes is so they can sue you and be up on the deal. No other reason. They cannot do it in this country at the moment and make it stick. It dose not matter also if its big corporate music, books, whatever. Rather than come up with a decent business model that works in the 21st century they would rather stick to what they know - screwing everyone in sight - can't blame them really, they are after all a type of pimp.

Please by all means sue large scale criminal pirating operations. But when you start suing your customers for downloading Justin Beiber's latest vocal arse sludge based on some dodgy list of IPs then you're no better than crims yourself really.

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Microsoft forbids class actions in new Windows licence

LinkOfHyrule
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Thumb Up

"of merchantable quality"

That made me giggle! I would however argue that Microsoft are a right bunch of merchants!

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LinkOfHyrule
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FAIL

MS Prenup

All new Microsoft products come with a free roll of toilet paper - it's what the end user agreement is written on!

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Steve Jobs' Atari memo, Apple I to go under the hammer

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Don't complain dude, this place keeps me off the streets! I'd be a productive member of society if it wasn't for these forums and their ever dwindling levels of moderation!

I also find your comment offensive to kids - 5 year old ones do not make jokes about BO - they do jokes about snot at that age!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Windows

"The Jeremy Kyle Show"...

Put me on the lie detector and ask me if I have been romantically involved with any member of the opposite operating system! If I fail, Steve Ballmer can come on wearing a tracksuit and storm the stage shouting "You f***ing liar, I'm guna f*** you up you cheating f***ing c***, you get me!" Then the two security dudes have to hold him back as he goes for me. Typical episode of the show that would be.

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LinkOfHyrule
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Trollface

Re: Who plays games on a Mac

There's a new multi-platform game you could try playing - its quite popular these days - its available on all flavours of desktop OS, all smart phones, heck even SMS text messaging to a degree!

Its called "Trolling"!! It's rather fun and it's social without actually needing to have any friends! Try it out its a right jolly jape!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Coffee/keyboard

Maybe it was the same turtleneck all the time

Hahahaha! Love it!

And as for the dumb shits at work - maybe Atari was divided into two camps - dumb shits and smelly shits.

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LinkOfHyrule
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: "... who he considered to be "dumb shits"."

I think it's funny they made work nights because he stank! Hahaha! No wonder he took to wearing turtlenecks in later life, they help keep the BO sealed in!

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UK High Court split over Twitter airport bomb joke

LinkOfHyrule
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decision about the so-called "Twitter Joke Trial".

Well at least they have their terminology correct - it certainly is a joke trial.

Mine the one with a copy of "English Criminal Law for Dumb Shits" sticking out the pocket!

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'6,000 RIM jobs at risk' of a pink slip

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Misleading headline

I thought this was a news story about the Guinness word record for Anilingus and was confused to find it on The Channel - it's really more of a Reg Hardware story if you ask me - but alas its something to do grown up things and not about rude stuff at all!

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YouView reportedly set for 2500-home pre-Olympics trial

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Is this thing ever going to launch? I am in my twenties yet I am fully expecting to be long dead by the time it comes out! I honestly think it would be quicker for Paris to evolve into a race of super humans!

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Ten... tablet survival accessories

LinkOfHyrule
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Gimp

I'm doing a Columbo here...

Yeah, I guess I should have said "I just have scary vision of rabid Apple fanbois putting iPads on their walls and using them as sodding light switches."

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LinkOfHyrule
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Okay not everyone is a twat then, fair point. There are some people who would like their iPads on the wall for various reasons, I think cooking and boats come under my small flat point though seeing as both tend to be small in the main.

I am not unimaginative either - I just think having a tablet computer on the wall looks shit. I imagined it and in my mind's eye it looked shit, sorry.

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LinkOfHyrule
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WTF?

Would you really want an iPad on your wall? Surely if you do you're a massive twat! Or have a very small flat and no telly!

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UK cookie law compliance takes effect today

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Cookie safeword

I would rather have a consistence way across all websites and across all browser to deal with this - this is going to get on my tits! I do hope it doesn't become tempting to use a VPN or proxy via another non EU state because of this shit!

I think the whole reason for the ICO's softly, softly fiddle with a monkey approach is that they know it's going to be an epic screw-up all round but they are just not sure exactly how. They do not to me seem like the sort of dudes that can effectively plan what their having for tea let alone the future of the interwebz and personal information in general!

I'm plonking a Paris on this as I actually genuinely think she would have come up with a better solution!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Happy

Re: EPIC FAIL

Seems to work now but still, that's classic FAIL! I am giving them another FAIL point too for having a beige-ish website - what do they think it's the 70s or something! I feel like I'm in an episode of Life up Mars's Arse going to that site!

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Steve Jobs' death clears way for vibrating Apple tool

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

I was hoping this was an article about Apples new range of sex toys - vibrating rounded rectangles - iCum

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Man's car warns of AIR RAID OVER LONDON

LinkOfHyrule
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Re: Bullfights?

Some of the less well known ones...

Zombies (4387)

Gordon Brown streaking (113)

Lorry full of kittens shed its load (2120)

Impromptu illegal jungle/drum n bass rave in carriageway (1085)

Road closed due to flooding caused by football hooligans urinating en-mass (775)

Diversions due to a young couple making love atop a keep left bollard (4569)

They thought of almost everything!

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Fake Angry Birds app makers fined £50k for shock cash suck

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Obligatory meme based pun

In Russia, premium rate telephone lines call you!

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LinkOfHyrule
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WTF?

A1 Agregator

With as classy a company name as that they might as well be called "Dodgy Dave's Digital Deception Development and Distribution Ltd"

Why the heck are these guys not in prison? And will the makers of Angry Birds and Google hurry up and sue these guys arses off for trademark infringement , distributing pirated aps and terms of service breaches! I know some users may be too dumb to read ap permisions but still!

I wonder if A1 Agregator are one of these "Silicon Roundabout" firms? Na can't be, these guys actually made some money!

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Top Facebook exec begs students: 'Click on an ad or two'

LinkOfHyrule
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'Click on an ad or two'

Clearly begging isn't illegal in Massachusetts then!

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Moshi Monsters pushed onto pint-sized kiddies' mobes

LinkOfHyrule
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FAIL

Seriously? Kids are doing this days are they? Na, it aint the cool ones playing flash games on social networks, its the sad fuck ones!

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Biz law reform: Bad news for lawyers, good news for hippies

LinkOfHyrule
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Bad news for lawyers, good news for hippies

I can't wait for that new iPad game that's comming out soon - Lawyers vs Hippies!

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Special Projects Burro pops his hooves

LinkOfHyrule
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Awww, please accept my condolences.

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Apple design chief Jony Ive knighted - but not by the Queen

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Re: What about my 3 year old?

"Steve Jobs in his house, bare of furnishings and furniture save for a hi-fi and a beautiful floor-standing Tiffany lamp. Echoing the adages of William Morris and Oscar Wilde."

Next time you get burgled, before you start bitching, stand back and just examine the scene for a few moments - maybe the thieves did you a favour and gave you a new tasteful, beautiful interior!

Pay close attention to the obligatory turd they often left behind - if its carefully placed in such a position that it's highlighted by the glow of one or more of your remaining light fittings then you know these guys know their installation work! You may find being robbed adds value to your home rather than detracting from it! Imagine Banksy coming round to nick your Playstation - you'd be the envy of the neighbourhood!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Trollface

Re: What about my 3 year old?

Bitch fight! Laptop bags at dawn!

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LinkOfHyrule
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At first I was afraid I was petrified

Do you think I'd crumble

Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh no, not I. I will Sir Ive

Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive;

I've got all my life to live,

I've got all my love to give and I'll Sir Ive,

I will Sir Ive.

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Google warns against ISPs hard on web filth

LinkOfHyrule
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Happy

Re: You don't have an ad-blocker installed?

No I do have AdBlock, I was "Joking" hence the "Joke Alert"!!! It was an excuse to make a very bad joke, I learned how to do it from reading lots of Register headlines over the years!

Why do I get the feeling my fellow comentards only take me serious when I am being firmly tongue in cheeks!

I'm going to have to get a life at this rate and find something better to fill my afternoons with. Like auto-erotic asphyxiation using a scrunched up Daily Mail as a ball-gag. Would love to see them report my death if it goes titsup "Dead pervert choked on Daily Mail bigotry"

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LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Re: she was "appalled" by what she found there

I don't get that problem - I always search bareback (with safe searched switched off)

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LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

@ Anon 2012 12:07 GMT

It now returns this very page so I win!

Mahahahaha! My plan worked! But why do I keep getting adverts for concrete bollards and organic turnips?

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LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

she was "appalled" by what she found there

Well if you type into Google "Lesbian robot vomit scat rotten turnip insertion rubber suction tube infected mudchute BDSM spanking breath-control electrocution concrete-bolard-dildo-fisting muff-stuffing bukkake party hardcore extreme mega uber porno" then what do you expect!

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Open Data Institute pours golden £10m shower on upstarts

LinkOfHyrule
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Gimp

Re: Golden Shower

We should all get tested for hepatitis then as a precaution - I do not mean to cast accusations or anything here but we're being pissed on by Torries and Liberals and they have a bit of a reputation for certain "things"!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Coffee/keyboard

Golden Shower

Any excuse! You lot are worst than me! Honestly!

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Jailed Facebook hack Brit targeted Justin Bieber's girlfriend

LinkOfHyrule
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FAIL

Re: "Joking aside I have never heard of her"

If only I actually gave a shit who she was!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

"She had a Facebook account on which she has 6 million friends,"

Fook me! That's a lot of "friends" she must be the loveliest lady in the whole wide world.

Joking aside I have never heard of her - I take it she's a new version of Paris or something? No idea what a Bieber is either which is probably lucky. Sounds rather nasty like it causes a rash or something!

This hacker bloke sounds like a right twat too I would like to add - seriously dude, you aint got the clout to get away with hacking, who do you think you are Murdoch or something!

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Ballmer says 500 MILLION 'users' to 'have' Windows 8 in 2013

LinkOfHyrule
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Happy

Re: There's two types...

Seriously dude, I was going to make this exact same comment, hate it when this happens!

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Steve Jobs' 'private Apple spaceship' seeks public love

LinkOfHyrule
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FAIL

Rip off of BBC TV Centre

Apple/Steve stealing shit from others and claiming it as their own invention again.

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VIA outs $49 Raspberry Pi-alike

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

who in the manufacturing team was responsible for final assembly/testing.

So that's what Gordon Brown is up to these days - he's got a job on the production lines at Foxconn!

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Apple's trial experts are 'slavish fanbois who believe in magic'

LinkOfHyrule
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Just found an actual transcript of the court case online...

Your honor, unicorns do so exist! Steve had a whole stable full of them back in Cupertino - we would squeeze their teats to extract the magic! We then take that magic, ship it off to China, and 8 weeks later a new version of iPhone emerges!

We put it to this court that Samsung has willingly and recklessly infringed our magic milking patent in the production of their so called smart-phones. They may be smart, but your honor, they sure aint magic! I rest my case...

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Virgin Media mauls UK.gov for pumping millions into BT

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Re: Cables

I think the only cables they lay these days are in the staff toilets!

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Report: SAP exec charged with $1,000 LEGO bar-code caper

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

If he gets convicted and sent to jail he'll be shitting bricks!

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