Re: Stimulates movement?
Good old Daly Mail! A Kindle just don't compare in this situation, TRUST ME!
1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009
Good old Daly Mail! A Kindle just don't compare in this situation, TRUST ME!
My company is bringing out a similar product soon - its a perfume with the fragrance of an old crusty porno mag. The main ingredient instead of water - or aqua as we call it in the trade ;) - is starch!
This is going to bring a whole new dimension to Come Dine With Me! Cant effing wait!
It only took two and half minuets to load the homepage - amazing work guys!
Also, I know finding sensible urls is hard these days but just randomly mashing the keyboard to make up a website name is a bit lame is you ask me!
We need a "puked all over my keyboard / tablet / whatever device we're using" button.
Just thinking about them makes me ill. eeeewwwwww!
Its not blackmail - its hackmail!
BOOM BOOM I'm here all week *cheesy wink*
Okay, I didn't realise I had to please a bear with you guys - how exactly do we please him? Sounds a bit risky if you ask me! I only wanted to look at some old photos not be involved in this weirdness!
These guys are dropping the ball a bit here. I know everyone raves about Chrome these days but I am fixated on the fox when it comes to tinkling the interwebz..
They need to up their game and make Firefox better than Chrome for privacy - which aint too difficult thanks to Chrome being made by the worlds largest web advertising and stalking company. Sort it out dudes! I love me some Firefox but this is Microsoft level of common sense fail!
I thought this SITE was bi-Atlantic?
This aint malwear, its a productivity app!
For situations like this its not DRM we want but KDRM - Kitten Distraction and Removal Mechanism. I think Sony are working on a version which involves every Bluray coming with a free medium sized dog.
What has the shop that sells glass eyes got to do with any of this? .......oh...... eye glass not glass eye!
I mis-saw what you typed - should have gone to SPECSAVERS! I love SPECSAVERS - they are so awesome! I will say it again - SPECSAVERS!
"So what do you do for a living?"
"Well, I'm a iPhone Smoother! And I don't actually make a living from it!"
Mine's the one covered in flakes of iPhone casing,
He or she will simply prescribe a few months of "Windows therapy" - probably something like two months of being forced to use Windows 95 without USB drivers. That'll soon cure you!
I wish Apple was actually run by Woz, they'd actually be cool then - but alas probably bankrupt too as he'd no doubt piss all the money up the wall on a joke product like giant Segway riding, lazer wielding robots.
This is similar to a product I have just patented - it's for people into basket weaving who are rather embarrassed by this outdated crafting method - my product browses for bizarre hardcore leather bondage porn and conducts fake cyber sex chat sex sessions on your behalf. It even orders the occasional butt-plug from on-line sex shops so that anyone tracking you will never suspect you're really just some saddo into making baskets!
The real MS Agents wear sharp black suits, dark shades and knock on your door when you're home alone. You answer and the agent says to you in a menacing tone "I see you're writing a letter" - you reply in the time honoured tradition of telling them to fuck off and punching them in the face. Two minuets later their back at the door - "I see you're trying to print a document" etc
I know of new FB alternative. It's called 'The Pub'.
It allows it's users the chance to share information with one another, make new contacts, play games, be social and even get into stupid tit for tat arguments over nothing just as you can on Facebook!
Mine the one that smells of stale beer
...News International or the Daily Mail, he seems well qualified. And the being drunk bit will mean he really fits in with his co-workers.
I cant tell if this would be the start of a beautiful friendship or the start of an ordeal ending in court cases and therapy.....
Who's the MILFophobe who downvoted me!
I demand a MILF icon! I Demand it now Apple! Stop discriminating!
We've had open government data for years - usually the data is found in the bins round the back of offices or on a train seat sometime just after rush hour!
It reminds me of one of the shittiest films I have ever seen "For Queen and Country" I think its called - starring Denzil Washington as a South Londoner (blimey such an awful attempt at a British accent) - anyway the only memorable part is when one of the characters mispronounces Psion as "piss on".
Urm anyway, whatever, mines the one with the piss on!
No no no - its all about da a la Carte Kitchen with the Swiss roll drizzled with baked beans! Or it least it would be if it was 1987 still!
Back to the main topic - so a nine year old girl is causing harm and distress is she? I take it her local council are planning the extradition charge to the US for terrorism against canteen food as we speak - or maybe they have decided to just drone her as it's now the in thing to do to terrorists and those that cause harm and distress to society and interfere with the functioning of the state!
What a bunch of losers!
Do these guys operate out of a lock-up garage in Peckham or something?
I think she should continue reviewing the meals - she puts that food critic bloke to shame - you know the one, he's got a stupid name and he's probably really fat too.
Oh yes! They do down at Vodaphone at least - probably the MILFiest telecommunications company of them all - BT on the other hand... It's more of a dominating matron-ish vibe they give off! As for Virgin Media - well let's just say the name's a bit misleading!
You're not that bird who phoned me up the other week to ask if I fancied upgrading my contract are you? I bet it is you! I thought you sounded quite MILFy I must admit! But no, I don't want a new phone thanks!
Oh yes, I had a butchers at that once and it said Southwark was a no go zone for American tourists!
I think they should do a new spin off version - the CIA World Facebook..... hang on......
Are we talking Pot-Noodles, Buckfast and boyband CDs or normal stuff like johnnies, baby oil and whipped cream?
You're right, I actually missed it and only spotted it after I posted mine. Still I added some colour to my version, well not colour, insult would be the correct word!
Are you the person who writes all the spam about princes in Nigeria needing my help/wanting to marry me even though they don't know what I look like? You are arnt you!
He is nice. Very nice. Does not mean he can't get on my tits though - seriously, being on four TV channels simultaneously of an evening is a bit much! Stephen, maybe turn a few jobs down now and then yeah? I mean seriously, Direct Line insurance - what, were the former cast of the Bill and Casualty not available that day or something - leave something for the shit actors to do too please!
No longer pushing notes, instead pushing up daisies!
Damn, I should replace that ear eater dude with the strange hair on that show with the ironic name that Stephen does, I am that funny!
This will only be used by chav kids to watch youtube vids of shit pop/urban/dance music on buses in provincial towns - expect to have to have Justin Bieber and random rappers projected on to the back of your head on the way home from work if you use public transport!
Mate are you watching daytime talk-shows and soaps or something? Not dissing your viewing choices but I think you're watching shows aimed at birds.
The Vulture is the Register and the Register is the Vulture. It's composed of 69 overlapping rounded-rectangles - the very embodiment of Zen like simplicity and it represents a connection between people, a network if you will, that our readers are a part of. It's all about bringing peace and love to the masses through the medium of news
I think my BSometer just exploded!
...start a UK ISP company! That'd be funny - an ISP told to block its own website!
Paris 'cus she's partial to a Jolly Roger!
I wonder if you changed your password to that exact same message about blowing up some backwater provincial airport that got that bloke convicted for being a terror-tweeter if you'd be liable for the same offence? After all, you would be sending a disturbing/upsetting* message through a digital communication link every time you logged in.
*them's like law words or something.
Anything with the word "link" in its name sucks..... wait
If you want a cheap datacentre solution - find a bloke called Dave in a east London pub who's got an empty garage and a old aircon machine - aka Dodgy Dave's Hosting Ltd. They would be a good fit for Megaupload, or Pukkaupaload as Dave would rather call it.
Paris cos she wants her home movies back that the feds stole!
It's quite ironic to hear it first from a company called last.
No, instead we build cyber prisons - it's like your mum's basement but with bars and special non slip soap.
TMI - I do not wish to know about the bodily fluid emissions of Apple fanbois thank you! No wonder the iPad has a wipe clean surface!
Sometimes people just invest in things they happen to like even if the business model is shit. Maybe he's into "cyber"?
Just make tube travel free and ask for people to donate what they think their journey was worth once they reach their destination! Could have a little collection box in the shape of Boris Johnston's head in which people can fling their change or bonk up against.
It's not big and it aint clever. FFS - .sucks? .hiv? .wtf would be more like it! It's the ultimate in trolling, force image conscious companies to have to buy a million different domains to protect their image - either they pay up or the cyber squating trolls move in - its win win either way for the money grabbers and the tosspots! And for the rest of us, we have to put up with stupid fucking websites name now like www.libdem.fail just cos organisations will attempt to be cool and instead look like a bunch of knobcheeses! Aggghhh!
SACOM sounds a bit like sack 'em if you're sloppy with the pronunciation! I they should re-brand, which brings me to my second point...
Oh my god, an article about Foxconn and Apple on the Register without the word "re-brander" in it - whatever next!