Feeds

* Posts by LinkOfHyrule

1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009

Streetfighter 2: The World Warrior

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Great game even if you are crap at/hate fighting games

This is probably ironically, both a hardcore game and a causal one. Wack the difficulty level all the way down, mash some buttons and everyone can play this! I think it has a lot to do with just how funny the sound affects and background graphics are let alone game play.

0
0

Hacktivists lift emails, passwords from oil biz in support of Greenpeace

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Re: Err...

I'd pay actual real money* to go to an illegal backstreet hippy vs hacker cage fight and watch them beat the shit out of each other.

*Five quid max, plus I want a free drink!

2
1

Raspberry Pi used as flight computer aboard black-sky balloon

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

UK High Altitude Society wiki - not what I expected

Damn, I was getting them mixed up with the Mile High Club - I bet they get that a lot!

1
0

Sky's TV-on-demand registers with regulator just hours before opening

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

I don't get it dude!

What's the difference between TV on demand and a website that allows you to watch videos?

If I made a six part documentary on the cultural impact of Paris Hilton in relation to modern public toilet architecture, but no TV channel wants to show it so I just stick it on my own website where it can be streamed "on demand" then it seems at present my site would be just a normal website with some crap videos - not an on demand service.

If however Channel Five came along and said "wow bugger me, if we showed this documentary of yours it would literally be the second best programme we have ever aired after Prisoner Cell Block H, here's £20,000 we'll buy the rights" and they show it every Tuesday at 9pm and with the money I made, I make a new show, a talent contest for reformed junkies - "Heroin Idol" and flog that to ITV, and then allow these two shows to be watched "on demand" on my site, am I then a video on demand company? Or what? I don't get it!

Paris, obviously!

0
0

Skype so sorry for sending that saucy IM to mum instead of pash

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Separate IM accounts, guys - a normal one and a pervy one. Avoids all manor of disasters! I don't get why someone would want to mix up mum, dad, aunty Mabel, gimpboy2000 and cum-dump-susan all on the same account!

2
0

Sleek new Macs violate fanbois' Retinas with display garbage

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

It just works, bitch!

And on the flipside, welcome to my world, the world of Windows XP - does this all the time but only for a few seconds when moving windows about - quality programming as always!

0
0

Lego ponders Portal pack

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

This is a nerd marriage made in heaven.

I actually think as a toy though, my idea for a LEGO council tower block would be more fun - part of the new "Lego Croydon" range!

0
0

Apple fails to block stolen iOS in-app content

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Happy

Terms of service, I love it

Hahaha! Whatever next? Cracked Photoshops with an EULA from the warez cracking crew - boring legal speak but the text scrolls and plays a funky chiptune!

"Yo Apple, hit me up and gimme some of dat iPhone 5 shit, bitch"

4
0

Build a bonkers hi-fi

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Cables

I've just replaced the cable on my USB mouse with 100% oxygen free gold plated super duper £6,000 speaker cable and I swear my mouse pointer is way more accurate than ever!

10
1
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Re: I want superconductors

For that money you could get Coldplay/Rolling Stones/Whatever symphonthy orchestra round to play live in your living room which kind of defeats the purpose of reproducing sound as accurately as possible.

6
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Bonkers? oh yes.

If I ever win the Euromillons I'm buying those creepy Italian speakers and connecting them to a 1980s vintage Amstrad midi Hifi system just to piss people off for a luagh!

9
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Re: The MS1-3D rips CDs as 320kb MP3s

Yeah before anyone starts, FLAC, which amptly named if you ask me - yeah its "in devlopmeant" for this thing - so they released a HiFi product that is only capable of playing shitty mp3 and you have to wait for an add on hahahahahahahahahahahahaha so funny. Knowing these high end audio companies the'll go bust before the add on/update is released again hahahahahahahaha.

8
2
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

The MS1-3D rips CDs as 320kb MP3s

Whats the bloody point then? Spending Bob Diamond levels of money of amps, speakers etc if you're going to be listening to you tunes in mp3 format! Especially when you have terrabytes of storage! jeeze!

23
4

Fake sandwich shop's big fake Likes leave Facebook looking flaky

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: "Rory poses the question of whether Facebook's $100bn valuation can be justified."

What does facebook even do, really? It's the web equivalent of skirting boards as far as I am concerned. If they didnt exist we'd probably moan occasionally that our walls are a little scuffed but no one would be loosing any sleep over it plus you'd save on gloss paint! Same with facebook but instead of scuffed walls and paint its talking shit to people and clicking like out of politeness when really you dont give a damn that we'll miss!

4
0

Oiling the big wheels that keep the Paralympics moving

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

£££ th€ £o¢u$ is on th€ £th£€t€$, th£ ¢omp€tition and th€ m€dal$. Th£t is what th€ G£m€$ £r£ £bout

Fixed it a bit more - I don't know why I am getting involved I normally think its pretty lame when people write M$ instead of Microsoft.

1
0

UK's web super-snoop powers could be extended to councils

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

All your datas are belong to us - kind regards, the council tax depatment!

1
0

Gambling site's 'no strings attached' offer had strings attached

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

I remember when the term "888" meant something useful (It was about three months ago lol).

0
0

Move over Raspberry Pi, give kids a Radio Ham Pi - minister

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Happy

Aint guna fly in the inner cities, not cool enough

...Make your own Pirate radio FM Transmiter with RDS functionality on the other hand - they'll be giving their science teacher bigups on air in no time!

5
0

BBC mulls seizing the wheel of Local TV

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Peartree Productions

If one these channels brings us "Youth Hostleing With Chris Eubank" I will actually go out and buy a TV licence especially (I dont watch telly any more apart from iPlayer and downloads)

0
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Re: FailMux more like

Portsmouth TV used to have a documentary like the one I described - Damn, they even had their own kids show and a Sci-fi drama - think Doctor Who but filmed on VHS camcorders in Fareham lol I am not joking either, I must sound like the bloke who cried wolf considering what I just said does sound like the sort of jokes I normally make but some quick googling has found actuall evidence!

http://www2.tv-ark.org.uk/otherchannels/portsmouthtv.html

http://www.theadventuresofstephenbrown.co.uk/

Actually to be honest, I quite liked watching that channel, it was "so bad its good" material at times.

1
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
FAIL

FailMux more like

"What shall we watch tonight guys?..."

"Well we could watch the X Factor on ITV1, some random period drama on BBC1 that looks quite good, The Wire on Sky Thingamabob, that really cool film about that cool thing that happened on FilmFour or we could shoot some terrorists on XBOX if none of that takes your fancy!"

"I know, lets watch Basingstoke TV!!! It's bound to be good! Order a pizza guys and settle down for a fun filled night of documentaries about very old people talking about how they didn't have a toilet in their house when they were young and Powerpoint slide shows listing local job vacancies and details of church-hall coffee mornings and jumble sales!"

Can't see it happening some how.

8
1

Yahoo! hack! leaks! 453,000! unencrypted passwords!

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

<cinema trailer bloke's voice>

In a world where exclamation marks are plentiful... A chosen hero goes on an epic adventure of a life time... and dares to ask the question - how is babby formed?

10
1

Instagram bug 'exposed' hipsters' private photos to strangers

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Moral of the story...

Or use Photoshop off-line to touch up those pics of yourself at the annual Surrey housewives and slaves, rubber swinging orgy, if you don't want the world to know you won this years best all round Gimp! Speaking of which, yes Lunux guys before you start, you can also be touched up by the Gimp if you don't want to pay for/download a cracked, Photoshop!

1
1

Religious wars brewing in ICANN gTLD expansion

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Re: This is the internet...

Standing on the shoulders of giant cocks!

3
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

proven to rewire the brain - and that's a fact bitch

Last time I checked my brain did not contain wires - so these guys are saying that watching porn is the equivalent of having a sparky come round knock you up a new ring main - but inside your head - wow amazing, I never knew that!

Sod getting that old fusebox sorted out, I'm just guna wrap it in pages from Playboy and it will fix itself!

5
1

Disable Gadgets NOW says Redmond

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Mushroom

I wouldnt wet myself, I'm not into that

I'd rather have a fight (and a penis measurement session) in a basement than use OSX.

11
1

UK's brazen copyright land grab sneaked into Enterprise Bill

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

cutting off one's nose to spite one's face.

If you put the watermark text out of the way of any person's facial features in the photos then it wouldn't cut of anyone's nose!! lol

0
2
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

I'm going to upload an episode of "Top Gear" - I have no idea who owns the copyright* but I tried to find out so I will assume its an orphaned work.

*obviously bullshit

So what's the difference between this and the BBC nicking my photos off flickr and sticking them all over their news website using the same excuse?

Maybe a good precautionary measure would be to watermark all photos with the text "Daily Mail readers are all Paedophiles and the BBC kill kittens" and at least then, if they do nick the pics, they look stupid.

3
1

O2, GiffGaff network goes titsup for unlucky punters

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Terminator

Opooh

First the banks go titsup, then the mobile coms - tinfoil hoody guys will be saying this a test run for when they send us dark as part of their evil scheme to enslave us!

And by the way, I am in no way affiliated with The Register, I am just a happy customer

2
0

Android games console scheme nets $2.5m

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Just wait until the lads hear about this...

DEAR KIND SIRS OR MADEMS

MY NAME IS PRINCE GAMER OF NIGERIA AND I HAVE A INTERESTING PROPOSITITION FOR YOU THAT COULD BE IN YOUR INTERESTS. MY FATHER KING GAMEBOY III, WAS KILLED BY EVIL TERORISTS EARLIER THIS YEAR AND I AM NOW LEFT TO MANAGE HIS ESTATE. HIS DREAM WAS TO BUILD THE WORLDS FIRST EVER ANDROID GAMING CONSOLE. I WOULD NOW LIKE TO PARTNER WITH YOU IN THIS GREAT VENTURE. PLEASE DEPOSIT SOME MONEY SAY £1000 (ONE THOUSANDS POUNDS US DOLLARS) IN MY KICK-STARTER PROJECT ACCOUNTS (VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER)......

1
0

Microsoft tightens squeeze on TechNet parasites

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

fessed up to using a Linux computer.

LMAO fessed up! You guys owe me a new keyboard, that was funnier than intended!

"Mum, dad... I have something important to tell you... I use Linux!"

"It's okay son, we always suspected anyway, the beard is a bit of a give-away!"

22
0

Retina MacBook Pro nukes Apple's green credentials

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Doing it wrong?

Duh, they have geniuses remember! That's how they do it!

Paris 'cus she's a genius too you know!

6
0

Top spook: ISP black boxes NOT key to UK's web-snoop plan

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

black box would be placed on a network where such information could be hoovered up

I'm not sure how effective a 90s Italio House band would be at doing that to be honest - I used to love that tune of their though with the bird who mimed - "'cus you're right on time... woah-oah-wo-oa-oh-woah-oah-oh-ah-oh-woah-hoa!"

3
0

China's censors move to stamp out sex and violence online

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Stop

Don't give "us" ideas...

Just you wait, in a few years time you'll upload a video of some kittens nomming to Youtube but there will be a six month "processing" delay and a £500 fee while the video gets sent off to the BBFC for certification!

Actually what will really happen is that by then Google will have introduced a special BBFC certification algorithm which will only take a few seconds and will be free to use, but it will erroneously rate your kitten nomming film R18 due to suggestive scenes!

You just know they will try this or something like it in order to "protect" our children...

3
0

Racketeering suit filed over smut-piracy charges

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
WTF?

Ring ring....

"Hello"

"Yo bitch, give us a few thousand dollars or we're guna tell everyone you're a lesbian perv porno watcher and rob you!"

- I hope the class action kills these twats off, for a porn company you'd think they know the correct way of screwing people, this aint it!

5
0

Nutter bans Apple purchases over environmental fudging

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Does this mean that while Apple portable products are sleek on the outside, inside they're an unsightly mess of huge blobs of glue, looking like a self-assembly Sinclair product made by a 'nutter' with a glue gun? I bet the glue blobs have rounded corners though!

1
0

Atos IT workers threaten strike during Olympics over 'living wage'

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Happy

Re: I know it may be hard for you to believe given your own experiences, but bejesus, ...

Okay I am starting to come round a bit now. I have already had a few discussions with a northern mate of mine and have already discovered we have some major "cultural differences" even though I grew up on a rough estate myself down south - but I do live in Surrey now and its clearly a different country to Yorkshire let alone Scotland! I think also I was bit moodier than normal today due to ATOS being the main topic which I guess is understandable!

Glad you like the Kyle comment, I would have used the original line from the League of Gentlemen but its about 12 years out of date to be saying "flicking myself off to Trisha" lol

1
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Thank you - that will be one more up vote

ATOS are French though arnt they? If so I wouldn't worry about their empire building abilities too much!

1
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Re: I know it may be hard for you to believe given your own experiences, but bejesus, ...

I believe there are towns that are devastated when their heavy industries closed down and there is fuck all hope for anyone - I refuse to believe EVERYONE in the whole town is a crook though. The DWP aint THAT thick. If it were true the Job Centre wouldn't even be staffed to give anyone any benefits as the workers would be at home on the dole flicking themselves off to Jermeny Kyle, wouldn't they!

4
1
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

I know it may be hard for you to believe given your own experiences, but bejesus, it does happen :(

I refuse to believe unless she lives in Burnley LMAO

0
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Re: Whole towns == Burnley

Actually, I take that back, I just realised in the title you said Burnley - yeah you're probably right then.

2
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Re: Whole towns == Burnley

if large means almost fuck all and town means, a few streets in a sink estate.

0
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

Re: 0.5%, *really*?

That anon coward at 12.14 is spot on. As for you, call the benefit snitch line if you think she is on the make. No point telling us, do I look like the scroungers hotline!

You could ask your GP about it too next time you go in for a fondle. Doctors and consultants are known to be very pissed off with a certain company with a masturbatory name too - they undo a lot the work the consultants do in getting their patients better with all the worry and stress they cause - you have to rememberer, the top consultants have big-ass egos, they tend to get pissy when their patients get ill cos of idiots like this messing with their work! it really gets on their tits! They'd phrase it differently in the main, I'm using laymans terms here!

5
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

Re: I don't give ATOS

I wouldn't mind so much if they did celebrity announcements. Julian Clary would be quite funny...

"Passengers on platform two are advised that a passing Freightliner on its way to Southampton docks may attempt to suck you off!....... "

5
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge

I keep hearing the phrase "the Olympic family" on the news and in the media - It makes me sick in my mouth every time. It's so creepy!

3
0

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Cut'n'paste UK launch for cut-price Motorola Android

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Hahaha

I love it when big companies mess up like this - this is definitely from the Microsoft school of public relations, a textbook example - good work Motothingymabob!

0
0

Phishers jailed for lifting over £300k from student loan applicants

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
FAIL

HAHAHAHA you suck at fraud!

0
0

Museum of Computing recognised as PROPER MUSEUM

LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Promoting safe computing?

If I practice safe computing, do you reckon I should mention so on any on-line dating profiles I may use? I wouldnt want to to end up with a barebacker - someone who has an unencrypted wireless router for example!

0
0
LinkOfHyrule
Silver badge
Joke

As someone who grew up in a town in Berkshire...

...I have heard of this mythical Swindon - the tales are of magic on the highways - of travellers being driven round in circles while trying to navigate through the cursed town of swine. I NEVER want to go there.

And also, are you sure the computer museum doesn't happen to be the Swindon branch of PC World? I have heard rumours that their stock is so out dated that it could actually be considered museum material.

4
1