1509 posts • joined Friday 11th December 2009 10:15 GMT
Siemens are normally the result of ATOS not the other way around!
I am a comedy genius!
Ha, that's arssing ironic
I was on an important call using skype the other day and the bloody thing updated itself and sodding cut us off! It's possible I accidentaly clicked on something to allow it do so as it was bugging me earlier that day to update and maybe I misclicked during one of those moments when windows slows the F down and the screen does not repaint correctly but even so, you'd think they'd bloody wait until you've finished your call!
The effing cheek! Thanks Microsoft! I would literally offer out Steve Ballmer to a pub carpark fight if it ever happens again - so annoying!
Paris because I can imagine her standing on sidelines outside the pub saying "he aint worth it Steve!"
Make your own pick!
Should that not be "make your own prick!"?
You could make one out of a used toilet roll tube and three ping pong balls, one for the crown and two the for the supporting act but it will go soggy if you suck it
Amazon's UK headquarters remain in Slough.
All these global companies headquartered there... I love to think of American business people coming to the UK on business and heading to "Slug, Berk-Shire" from the airport.
This is a joke...
I really wish you guys would stay on topic ffs - this thread was supposed to be all about bowel movements! I see absolutely no reason to bring up computer hardware! Jeeze!
Hmm, something emerged from under a bridge?
So that's where they founded the company! Makes a change from the old Apple cliché of starting from a garage. It kind of explains a lot actually with regards company culture, thanks for this little nugget - someone update the wiki page!
Re: '"new message" pings from webmail services'
Re: Olympic Brands
It's in East London but yet McD's can't even be arsed to invent a "Jellied Eel Quarter Pounder With Mash" yet have the cheek to demand only they make chips, which they do not even make anyway. The bloody cheek of it!
These games should have been run by traditional oldschool East-End gangsters. You infringe the five rings trademark - you get five fingers broken! Security is provided by proper east end thugs - they love their mums but will chuck you off the top of a council tower block as soon as looking at you if you take liberties or don't cough up for protection!
I can't Adam and Eve it sometimes!
Good ol' Group Four
They're guna have to rebrand again soon at this rate - may I suggest this time you call yourselves "Incompetas"
Re: Or maybe
I managed to go half a day without checking my upvotes - thanks to my trusty elastic-band worn on the wrist aversion therapy! As used by people giving up smoking and released into the community convicted sex offenders! On the other hand being forced to listen to steps for a whole afternoon made me want to vomit - I'm dubious about this 42 steps program but the Nigerian bloke who emailed me details says to stick with it and keep sending of the cheques (well wire transfers)!!
Windowlene of course! <--upvoted
Now Linux... hmmm, the juice of four freshly squeezed penguins me think? The birds not the chocolate bar!
Re: Foxconn-marketing biz
Yeah cider - 'cus it's Apples aint it!
Not sure what drink you'd have to play the Microsoft version of this game - probably the nearest liquid would be raw untreated sewage! Or Grolsch!
The thing about this site is that, all those little news stories about Apple and the goventards destroying our freedoms, they're like little morish rich tea biscuits - laced with crack - you're boss aint guna mind you having a brew and a nibble now and then, it increases productivity - but because of the highly addictive crack ingredient, you start living a double life of minimised firefox windows, refreshing the homepage and active forums every 15 minuets, checking to see if today's lame jokes taking the piss out of Linux fanbois choice of alcoholic beverage has gained any downvotes or not - no not this time, they aint as vindictive as the apple guys, they are proud of their real ale habbit!.........
You get the idea... Therapy starts next week, its the 42 steps program, involves a mixture of the ten steps, the band Steps, and that Hitchcok film.
Blimey I think I have now lost it.
Mines the straight jacket!
BBC, remake Breaking Bad - replace crystal-meth with processed catnip products, get the bloke from Finger Mouse to make some finger puppets of Jesse and Walter to play the main characters, cast Dale Winton as a Mexican drug lord, swap the New Mexico desert for the post-apocalyptic Kent village that is Dungeness and get Rolf Harris to rerecord the theme tune using a musical instrument made of out a tampon and a piece of tracing paper - and I GUARANTEE you'll be on to a winner!
I want my consultants fee now, bitch!
That should be their new slogan...
The Register - just enough IT news to get it past YOUR Internet blocks! Now with added Paris and 50% extra free Foxconn re-branding! Because your IT department is worth it!
I feel sorry for anyone who lives there - not because of the mess - because you are being internationally bitchslapped by the Olympic whatsit-called committee and various corporate arses. All your regeneration are belong to us! Few weeks time it won't just be old buildings laying derelict either! Bitch, prepare for an Olympic legacy!
We need to invent a drinking game, where every time Foxconn is mentioned on this website in an Apple story, we have to down a pint a pint of cider!
They'll be a few IT people sacked for being sozzoled on the job within a week for sure! Better make sure that park bench has wifi!
Re: Saving Face
In light of this, instead of buying him a pint, he's only getting a half now. And I'm not bringing it to him either he can come up to the bar and carry it back himself!
Dude, that aint normal. You might have a serious medical condition! And probably a serious dry cleaning bill too if this happens often!
China, Thailand, Pakistan and elsewhere
China, Thailand, Pakistan and The United Kingdom - fixed it for you.
Man, with these dumb-arse draconian Nineteen-eighty-four style laws coming in maybe a lolcat based defence league is actually not such an effing stupid thing after-all. Ceiling cat to the rescue!
Saw this on BBC News almost twelve hours ago and have been waiting for the Reg Story...
...Just so I could post - hahahahahahaha this is effing hilarious! I want to buy the judge a pint - coolest judge ever, totally bitch slapped both Apple and Samsung!
Imagine if this happened here...
"Cousin John liked Jeremy Hunt"
"Your mum liked David Mlliband"
"Uncle Jim liked Boris Johnson"
"Aunty Mabel liked the BNP!" lol
BGL Group, you're discriminating....
...against people with an unusual fetish for town centre market places! Yes it may be rare, even less common than that thing that German bird who married the Berlin wall (and then had an affair with a wooden fence) had, but that is no excuses guys!
That dude who owns comparethemarket.xxx is probably setting up a porno site for people with this fetish who want to do comparisons to see which market they find most attractive! It saves on train fares/petrol for those afflicted and eliminates the obvious embarrassment factor of being overwhelmed with lust in a public place! (Remember folks, google streetview doesn't often show pedestrianised streets and therefore lacks detailed pics of most British markets!) People with this particular sexual preference probably feel like they are being targeted and may want to sue for human rights abuses! I suggest they organise a Marketphilia awareness day and a Facebook campaign!
Great game even if you are crap at/hate fighting games
This is probably ironically, both a hardcore game and a causal one. Wack the difficulty level all the way down, mash some buttons and everyone can play this! I think it has a lot to do with just how funny the sound affects and background graphics are let alone game play.
I'd pay actual real money* to go to an illegal backstreet hippy vs hacker cage fight and watch them beat the shit out of each other.
*Five quid max, plus I want a free drink!
UK High Altitude Society wiki - not what I expected
Damn, I was getting them mixed up with the Mile High Club - I bet they get that a lot!
I don't get it dude!
What's the difference between TV on demand and a website that allows you to watch videos?
If I made a six part documentary on the cultural impact of Paris Hilton in relation to modern public toilet architecture, but no TV channel wants to show it so I just stick it on my own website where it can be streamed "on demand" then it seems at present my site would be just a normal website with some crap videos - not an on demand service.
If however Channel Five came along and said "wow bugger me, if we showed this documentary of yours it would literally be the second best programme we have ever aired after Prisoner Cell Block H, here's £20,000 we'll buy the rights" and they show it every Tuesday at 9pm and with the money I made, I make a new show, a talent contest for reformed junkies - "Heroin Idol" and flog that to ITV, and then allow these two shows to be watched "on demand" on my site, am I then a video on demand company? Or what? I don't get it!
Separate IM accounts, guys - a normal one and a pervy one. Avoids all manor of disasters! I don't get why someone would want to mix up mum, dad, aunty Mabel, gimpboy2000 and cum-dump-susan all on the same account!
It just works, bitch!
And on the flipside, welcome to my world, the world of Windows XP - does this all the time but only for a few seconds when moving windows about - quality programming as always!
Terms of service, I love it
Hahaha! Whatever next? Cracked Photoshops with an EULA from the warez cracking crew - boring legal speak but the text scrolls and plays a funky chiptune!
"Yo Apple, hit me up and gimme some of dat iPhone 5 shit, bitch"
Re: I want superconductors
For that money you could get Coldplay/Rolling Stones/Whatever symphonthy orchestra round to play live in your living room which kind of defeats the purpose of reproducing sound as accurately as possible.
Re: The MS1-3D rips CDs as 320kb MP3s
Yeah before anyone starts, FLAC, which amptly named if you ask me - yeah its "in devlopmeant" for this thing - so they released a HiFi product that is only capable of playing shitty mp3 and you have to wait for an add on hahahahahahahahahahahahaha so funny. Knowing these high end audio companies the'll go bust before the add on/update is released again hahahahahahahaha.
The MS1-3D rips CDs as 320kb MP3s
Whats the bloody point then? Spending Bob Diamond levels of money of amps, speakers etc if you're going to be listening to you tunes in mp3 format! Especially when you have terrabytes of storage! jeeze!
Re: "Rory poses the question of whether Facebook's $100bn valuation can be justified."
What does facebook even do, really? It's the web equivalent of skirting boards as far as I am concerned. If they didnt exist we'd probably moan occasionally that our walls are a little scuffed but no one would be loosing any sleep over it plus you'd save on gloss paint! Same with facebook but instead of scuffed walls and paint its talking shit to people and clicking like out of politeness when really you dont give a damn that we'll miss!
£££ th€ £o¢u$ is on th€ £th£€t€$, th£ ¢omp€tition and th€ m€dal$. Th£t is what th€ G£m€$ £r£ £bout
Fixed it a bit more - I don't know why I am getting involved I normally think its pretty lame when people write M$ instead of Microsoft.
All your datas are belong to us - kind regards, the council tax depatment!
I remember when the term "888" meant something useful (It was about three months ago lol).
Aint guna fly in the inner cities, not cool enough
...Make your own Pirate radio FM Transmiter with RDS functionality on the other hand - they'll be giving their science teacher bigups on air in no time!
Re: Peartree Productions
If one these channels brings us "Youth Hostleing With Chris Eubank" I will actually go out and buy a TV licence especially (I dont watch telly any more apart from iPlayer and downloads)