Feeds

* Posts by LinkOfHyrule

1678 posts • joined 11 Dec 2009

Everything Everywhere to be Nothing Nowhere in rebrand

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

GPO 2.0

7
0

UK.gov's minimum booze price dream demolished

LinkOfHyrule
Pint

Booze if you ask me, is the most dangerous drug in use in this country - the sheer numbers of deaths, assaults, broken homes, abuse, fucked up lives it plays a part in is why I hold this view. Along with first hand experience of what I call "drunk twats" who have done a good job of ruining parts of my life - thanks dad!1

However - I am not someone who wants it banned, blames it for all social evils, wants minimum pricing, or any of that bollocks. I also do like a nice pint or glass of wine, and heck, even occasionally have been known to get sloshed.

I want a sensible approach taken to dealing with problem drinkers, the question of booze advertising, health costs - not yet more ill informed legislation. WTF is up with drink, drug and health policy in this country (well most countries)?

Do something to stop people like my dad killing themselves with drink - upping the price aint guna matter - just means more kids go without food like I did so their alky parents can get their fix!

I don't know what the answer is though - maybe its to kill all politictards with alcohol poisoning.

9
0

Sony PlayStation Vita sales crawl

LinkOfHyrule
Holmes

Nitnetndo and Sony...

Make phones with D-pads, shoulder buttons and analogue sticks...

And do a cheap one for young kids too, as I don't think you're average 7 year old is going to be signing up to a bloody two year contract just so he can play Pokémon or whatever shit they like these days!

2
0

Apple now most valuable company OF ALL TIME

LinkOfHyrule

Re: Electrical fittings

Of course - MK are the Apple of electrical fittings arnt they!

My consumer unit is Crabtree though I think - I guess thats like having a load of Macs connected to a Windows server aint it!

0
0
LinkOfHyrule

Re: As an Apple fan I'd just like to say.....

That's a point isint it - those old light-switches have both rounded corners and only one button on their face.

I've basically got twenty knock off iPhones stuck on my walls!

4
0
LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Re: As an Apple fan I'd just like to say.....

I really like the light switches and plug sockets in my house, they are very snazy. They have a retro 1950s roundedness to the corners and a satisfying clunk when you plonk a light on. You could say, that on many levels, they just work! Maybe I should find out who makes them so that I can become a fan of the company!

7
2

Merde! French Prez palace blueprints nicked from cable layer

LinkOfHyrule
Coffee/keyboard

Le Reg foreign desk,

That'll be google translate then?

4
0

PayPal co-founder sells out of foundering Facebook at VAST profit

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

My fail

Missed the reference to Tesco in the article at the end. I thought for moment posts from another topic were appearing - shame as I was looking forward to resulting chaos that could have caused!

2
0
LinkOfHyrule

Best scam ever!

Also, what's up with all the posts about Tesco in this thread? Are the forums on the wonk or something or are some of your readers often drunk during their lunch breaks? Seems like those posts were meant for another story not this one!

1
4

UK watchdog snaps on glove to probe Tesco's 'security fails'

LinkOfHyrule

They do it because for a company of that size it probably reduces the number of customer support phone calls they receive per day by customers confused by or too thick to understand the password reset process correctly.

Either that or they just don't give a shit.

1
0

Anonymous takes down UK government websites in Assange attack

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

Re: .... New Orderly World Players in CHAOS bring Certainty with AIDefinite Vision.

I'm printing out this reply, framing it, and putting it on the wall!

0
0
LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Re: What, I wonder, would have happened...

Pretty much the same thing but all the furniture is from IKEA so the sofa bed he sleeps on would break after a weeks usage.

3
0
LinkOfHyrule
Happy

Re: New Orderly World Players in CHAOS bring Certainty with AIDefinite Vision.

Blimey, that's a big arse link you put in your comment mate!

1
0
LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I think you are all missing the most important issue at play here............

And that is, man, that was a really shit balcony Julian gave his speech from the other day wasn't it! It was merely a jumped-up groundfloor window! The Window above it had much better iron work railings and was considerably more impressive! I am assuming the room above is part of the Columbian embassy or something? Julian, you should have sought asylum there mate, their balcony has way more gravitas!

8
1

'SEX and the FEMALE BRAIN are CONNECTED' - shock discovery

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I've met one the scientists involved in this...

I shook his hand and it was all sticky for some reason!

0
5

SHOCK: Brainwave readers work as advertised

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I can't wait until I can go to my GP and get an annual injection of Norton Internet Security for Human Brains! That'll be fun - especially the chronic upgrade reminder cluster headaches ten month's later!

6
0

Anti-gay Uganda's premier backs pride march in protest hack

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

Re: Aggravated Homosexuality?

It is more common for straight guys to cross dress I think? Dunno, seems that way, maybe that should be a question included on the next census.

Sorry that, was meant to be my standard crap joke that I always post when someone downvotes a comment I have made in which I mention I am gay - I don't think it actually works though!

I think I might be a repressed heterosexual.

0
0
LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Re: Aggravated Homosexuality?

LOL at the repressed homosexual who downvoted me. You know you want mince round dressed in drag really, you just cant bring yourself to admit it can you!

0
3
LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Re: Aggravated Homosexuality?

Gotta love all those gay stereotypes - not.

Being gay myself, well being a human being who lives in the UK. I have to say that some of the most masculine, hardest (pardon the pun) and blokiest men are often the gay ones and frankly, these gay stereotypes of mincing, campness and acting effeminate are not based in reality or if they are, are hugely exaggerated.

Paris because fag hags are another stereotype arnt they

5
2

Vulture Central logo pops up in prehistoric France

LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

I was always under the impression this was a news website and not some weird cult! That rock vulture thingy and that crisp are probably going to be the starting point for a new book by the bloke who did the The Da Vinci Code! I feel like I have accidentally signed up for a free trial of Scientology (minus the comeback should I fail to upgrade to a pro account) or something by being registered on these forums!

1
0

IEEE admits its MS-DOS history revisionist is in Microsoft's pay

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

if($os = "drdos")

I'm pretty sure you missed out the ELSE statement that causes windows to crash anyway even if you use it with their own DOS.

B-boom!

3
0

WikiLeaks haters launch DDoS assault on Russia Today

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

At least Pussy Riot was spelt correctly

It is easy to mistype it as Pussy Tori - and if you did, it will likely confuse the average Daily Mail reader who would assume you were referring to the feline wing of the Conservative party!

0
0

Amazon UK to offer collection service at corner shops

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

Re: My local CollectPlus

Good idea if you ask me.

Here's an idea - any of you that do live a fair way from a shop offering this service - maybe amazon will let you get your stuff delivered to a shop near your workplace or some-place else you spend time during the day. Maybe you will miss your normal train home but a thirty minuet wait might be worth it in order to get your hands on Fifty Shades of Shit or whatever you buy from Amazon.

2
2

Apple to bring YouView approach to Apple TV

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

re: So what? It'll have an Apple on it, so it's revolutionary !!!!!111!!1!

Don't be so sarcastic! Really!

Everyone knows that yes it will be a revolution. Heck, if Apple brought out their own range of 4-inch plastic soil pipes, as long as they had the Apple logo embossed into the shiny grey PVC, fanbois would be queuing-up for the chance to flush a log through said pipe work - for the simple reason that the Apple plumbing will be a revolution in and of itself because of who it's made by!

Please stop your sarcasm and take Apple seriously for once will you - it's really not fair of you!

.

.

.

.

.

.

LMAO

1
0

eBay invites mystic wrath over ban on spells, potions and lotions

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Damn you eBay!

They just pulled my listings for magic markers!

5
0

Human rights group: Nintendo tops conflict minerals baddies list

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I thought foxconn just plonked the same shit in everyone's products anyway. So these guys are telling us that the foxconn warehouse has big crates of ethical components and big crates of unethical ones depending on who's stuff their making?

0
0

High tech toilets receive big prizes from Bill Gates

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Perfect man for the job

If anyone should know about this sort of thing its Bill - he did after all spew out the software equivalent of infected runny shit for years so yes indeed, when I think toilets, I think Bill Gates (and his missus) naturally!

Paris because her phone number is actually written on many toilet cubical walls throughout the world.

3
5

Goldeneye

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Re: This article gave me cancer

Worst comment I have seen here since Big Dumb Guy.

You should write for the Daily Mail as they'd love you to write your own article for them called "Does playing Goldeneye 64 cause cancer and lower house prices?"

1
0

Few 'Likes' for Facebook from hedge-fund moneybags

LinkOfHyrule
Stop

Groupon tat bazaa

You need to make a correction to this article - I have been reading The Register long enough to know that it's eBay that's called a tat bazaa - I believe the correct term for Groupon according to the official Register editorial guidelines is something like 'fish foot spa marchents' or similar is it not?!

6
0

Microsoft halts new apps on Windows Phone Marketplace

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Todd Brix said a new backend had been introduced

Headline should have been Brix Bricks windows phones with his big backend.

2
0

Samsung's Wang was up 22 hours a day, had no time to copy Apple

LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

Pathetic - If I was the judge in this case I would just personally bitch slap both parties in the middle of the court room and tell them what a complete set of bitches they both are for suing each other over such frivolous shit!

Great headline for the story by the way!

6
0

Flash Player to vanish from Android store on Wednesday

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Yay

We're one step closer to finally finding a cure for Flash!

9
1

BBC gives itself a gold in 700Gbit-a-second Olympic vid sprint

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Re: What?

I think you are all seriously missing the point here - were these French wheels clean or dirty!?

1
0
LinkOfHyrule
Happy

Re: What?

Hey anon coward, dont be harsh on him, he's probably got a disability called Bernard Manning syndrome - he cant help saying stupid outdated shit.

4
1
LinkOfHyrule

turn it into a reality tv freakshow like everything else they do

Disability is something very close to my heart. Off topic a little but, Ch4 had recently this lovely documentary about disabled people going on dates - I thought it was great.... However, the name that was given to this show and the way it as marketed was absolutely abhorrent- it was called "The Undateables".

Not only was the name of the show stupid because the people clearly were datable (all the show consisted off was these supposed undatables going on actual dates), but it was bloody offensive too!

I am able bodied and have been on dates with a disabled person and ended up getting engaged - call my partner undatable again and I will bloody twat you one! Pricks! You used to be the best TV channel possibly in the world, you're now worst than Living TV or even channel 5!

4
2

Saudi royals seek ban on .virgin, .sex, .catholic, .wtf and 159 MORE

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

Re: .cotton

I'm cybersquatting you too cottonfoo!

That rhymes, I really should be poet laureate for Staines-upon-Thames or something with skills like that!

0
1
LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I've just had the producers of EastEnders on the phone to me shouting their arses off over my plans to register .cotton - they claim it infringes their rights as they had a character called of course - Dot Cotton!

1
0

Wannabe media barons outed in UK local telly bid list

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

YourTV, Metro8, Made In

Rubbishest TV company names ever -

YourTV - just plain shit

Metro8 - wtf seriously! What is this, a channel run by Microsoft to promote Windows or something!

Made In - I take it each channel will be known as "Made In Swindon", "Made In London" etc - probably best to just call them all "Made in Haste" or "Made Impossible to make any money due this whole thing being a shite idea"

1
0

Brits obey mobile ads, says mobile ad biz

LinkOfHyrule
Holmes

Oh man what is that foul stinky smell

Oh its bullshit!

2
0

Apple granted patent for in-cell touchscreen display tech

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Christ, for a moment I thought they had patented touchscreens embedded into human skin cells or something so you could theoretically have an iPhone build directed into your arm, or belly or arse or whatever!

0
0

Hold onto your hats, world: Groupon actually made a PROFIT

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Wow

I must admit, I thought the bottom had fallen out of the fish foot spa market so well done for actually making some money!

1
0

Blinkbox to sell Game of Thrones series 2 by stream

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Re: I'll wait for the boxset....

The old bricks and mortar file-sharing network eh!

1
0
LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

£17.99

Fuck off.

0
1

Kidney-for-iPad fanboi sues after illness strikes

LinkOfHyrule
Gimp

Re: I sold my teeth for an iPhone

Could you have not just given toothed blowies but charged for them and then saved up for an iPhone instead?

0
0
LinkOfHyrule
WTF?

WTF indeed

Jeeze, I'm not even going to make my customary Apple / Fanboi bashing jokes in comment to this - this is just a sad situation. What the fuck is up with these sick fuck organ traders! Fuck you, you sick fucks!

4
0

Alleged 'Xbox 720' dev box eBay'd for $20,100

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

Re: Durango Durango

That's a bloody good point!

0
0
LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Durango Durango

They are my favourite 80s Australian wild-dog synth-pop band ever!

♫ His name is Ballmer and he dances on the sand... ♫

Love dat shit!

0
1

Don't get sued or cuffed on Twitter: Read these top 10 pitfalls

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

My advice...

Become a sex addict - seriously - spend every spare moment you have shagging, tossing, flicking, x-tubing, whatever - just keep your hands busy - best way to avoid your idle thumbs getting you sent to guantanamo bay for threatening to blow up an Olympic swimmer or something stupid!

0
0

Acer dishing out 16,400 cheap OLYMPIC laptops to schools

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

There is a joke here somewhere about an Acer contractor forgetting to wipe a hard-drive leading to a bunch of kids getting their hands on some secrete info about something related to the Olympics. I am not quite sure what it is though...

Bolt's porno collection? Boxing ref's Swiss bank account details? Steamy video diary of a Beach Volleyball team in action? Boris's secrete raunchy IM chats with the North Korean wrestling team?

1
2

Microsoft: It was never 'Metro,' it was always 'Modern UI'

LinkOfHyrule

Remember Windows CeMeNT?

I've got it - call it Windows SeeYou NT

0
0