Posts by LinkOfHyrule
1509 posts • joined Friday 11th December 2009 10:15 GMT
Page:
comprehensively pwned
That phrase made me do a LOL.
I imagine these French dudes will be part of a forthcoming comprehensive pwnage strategy as a result of their marketing genuis...
Paris because she's fully comprehensive herself in many ways.
It's totally a business decision. They must get in the order of a hundred or more less customer service phone calls per day by sending out plaintext instead of resets from non tech savy customers I would say.
Fucking idiots / clever bastards depending how you look at it - until they get hack in which case the first one applies only.
Re: What happened to the death of El Reg icon?
Someone hacked my account once for a joke - they change my order from a weekly shop to 120 cucumbers, 60 pots of Vaseline, 80 pairs of Marigold rubber gloves, 40 bottles of Johnson's Baby Oil, 140 cans of squirty cream, 50 packs of rubber johnnies, 20 packs of 200 clothes pegs and one copy of What HiFi Magazine.
I was fucking well embarrassed! Not by the obvious orgy supplies but by the hifi mag!
police downloaded over 1TB of porn
and also in the same week...
Police station tissue supplies ran dry, cases of officer repetitive strain injury quadrupled, and at least one senior investigator is reported to have gone blind!
Because gamers are bitches in the eyes of Ubisoft execs?
Perfect timing
I'm on the lookout for something stylish to wedge my door open with, I think I have found it...
Paris 'cus she knows a good thick wedge when she sees one!
Posted in Apple mulls over investment in Twitter
Re: Dodgy valuation?
The thing about twitter and its low capacity one-hundred-and-forty character limit is that...
Fuck I ran out of characters!
dum, dum, dum dum, dum, dumdumdum...
I can't tell if I'm looking at Google Earth or the EastEnders title sequence.
Follow my new twitter feeds
@TheRéglstér
@NéiI McA||ister
@ArIdrew OrIowski
@Julian-Arse-Anger
All genuine material, absolutely no fakery!
They are telling the truth
They are telling the truth. The Police and FBI DO NOT have the ability to listen to skype calls...
It's the NSA, CIA, MI5 and MI6 who have the skype backdoors dude!
Re: How long?
What I really could do with is arse-cheek recognition. I know it's a bit niche but in my line of work it would be a godsend!
Great advert - when I become rich and famous, I will choose Social Imposter to protect my online profile too!
Amazingly, foreigners want to watch The Jeremy Kyle show - and their broadcasters pay for it.
I imagine broadcasters do pay for it - in lost viewing figures by those with more than six braincells. Payday loans, bingo, cash4gold, personal injury lawyers, trashy celeb mags, bookies, lottery, junk-food and unneeded over counter medicines are obviously also big advertisers overseas too then!
I know ITV was always supposed to be a wee bit trashy but its epic these days! Might as well rename it Lidl TV and be done with it!
Posted in W3C names four new editors of HTML5 spec
Why is it all tech firms people and web types on these committees and no "normal" people.
Put someone like Paris on there or something! Maybe then they will cut some of the bullshit and in-fighting as soon as she pipes in with something like "uh excuse me but uh, dude, why do my youtubes not work in big blue e browser when I choose HTML 5 mode but it does in cute ginger fox browser? I mean duh, I don't get it!"
dude when you screw up this epically, you have to expect complaints.
And when you don't fail this hard, when its just a single customer who has lost his whole months wages due to your own incompetence, you're saying he should just say "mustn't grumble, I'll be paid again in four and a half weeks time, until then I'll let me kiddies starve and the house get reprocessed" rather than phone up the bank and say "oi excuse me mate, but what the frig, where's all me green gone?"
It has nowt to do with whether its paper based or all on some mainframe - if you screw up people will, and have every right, to moan! If you don't like it, stop messing up!
I think Paris is the icon that best expresses this posting!
Re: This time it's me...
Bloody hell that's well cheeky - trying to get you signed up to a credit card at a time like this, plus its wasting time as I am sure they had a lot of calls on hold while she was doing that.
What was her sales pitch "next time we fuck up, use our new credit card to buy food with instead!"
Re: @LinkOfHyrule
I know - you've hit the nail on the head here - if only they drank tea and had electric kettles.
I would have no idea how to cope with certain stressful and difficult situations over there - what is the US equivalent of "shall we have a nice cup of tea" or "shall i put the kettle on" which is the natural response we have to well, actually every bloody kind of situation when you think about it!
Posted in Never mind Azure: They BROKE Twitter!
Re: BBC
It's part of the testing for world war 3.0 - they are just seeing how the public cope with the idea of social networking rationing!
I cant wait for the government propaganda slogans...
Loose tweets, sink fleets
A stray like will down a flight
Skype a stranger, put your country in danger
And my personal fave - Check-in your location - and kill your whole family!
Posted in Never mind Azure: They BROKE Twitter!
This outage is also affecting my joke telling abilities....
<%= joke beginning %>
<%= joke punchline %>
<%= reason for Paris %>
B-Boom!
Oi Gabe...
...I can assure you pal that using your tongue is not a "pretty good way of connecting a mechanical system to your brain" unless you happen to have some kind of disability in which case it could be very cool or you are very eccentric in which case it may be totally normal.
Other than that, its not pretty good at all - all the slime, bad breath, flakes of pork pie or sushi depending on your diet - its just gross!
I'm sorry but I do not want my next game controller to be made by oral-b!
Posted in Win a monster laptop
Re: Better watch out...
I laid a monster cable in the WC this morning - bring it on bitches sue me for it! That Samsung vs Apple judge will just tell us that, although my cable was composed entirely of shit, it just wasn't as shit as your cables - no case to answer!
Did they not have Olympic lanes four years ago then? I thought all hosting cities needed to have them these days and I am sure they must have had laws against saying "The Olympic Games" on penalty of ten years hard labour in a poundshop product supply factory.
I think London should be twinned with Beijing as they have so much in common, including air pollution!
Re: Porn
Now I'm worried about the chap further up the comments with the Ann Widdecombe porno collection and how he came to acquire it - was that a case of "excuse me Miss Widdecombe- I notice your Windows ME seems to be playing up again, would you like me to take a look at your lappy for you and fix it? And don't worry, I wont remove your cat desktop wallpaper!"
Re: I bet the Goventards regret privatising BT now we have interwebz
lmao.
Re: Sony managers are on crack. Too much drugs
I'm sorry dude but comments like that are totally stupid and offensive!!!
Everyone knows its crystal meth they're on!
Foxconn should have designed the thing to be more sweat resistant - these gaming devices need to be able to cope with "gamers thumb" as the British Medical Journal calls it - textbook error guys!
All this is, is the banking equivalent of a double post on a forum...
All this is, is the banking equivalent of a double post on a forum...
Re: @LinkOfHyrule
lol Actually if we do have some Tea Fetishists in here, I'm cool with that, we could do some teabagging!
B-boom!!
I bet the Goventards regret privatising BT now we have interwebz
If they hadn't, the small indy competitors would have gone bust yonks ago and as for BT itself - all internet usage would be goventard approved - each browsing session would start with you logging in with your national insurance number (which would be linked to your government mandated facebook account at this stage in time) on the gpo.uk.gov website.
All emails, voip calls and IMs would be logged, all file-sharing would be blocked, you'd pay the GPO/BT an hourly usage fee and when you logged off, your computer speakers would blare out the national anthem, akin to BBC1 closing down for the night in the "olden days" aka pre 1997!
They'd bloody love that, they wouldn't need their new ninteen-eighty-four style laws, they already exist and we'd be all moaning about how great America is because they have unrestricted lolcats and we dont!
Sorry, I realise it may sound like little of what I said has any relevance to the article - sod it I'm posting it anyway as the idea of everyone's PCs and tablets playing the national anthem when you finish a browsing sesh has me giggling! That's gotta be worth at least one upvote surely!
Re: This is why
Someone else mentioned "her" in relation to porn last week on here too - was that you too?
I have the number of a really good therapist ;o) It's okay, I am here for you, I aint judging you.
"You should fix your internal sensor soon. If unsure what to do, try putting your laptop near hot steam for several minutes to clean the sensor."
Now if that happened to me, and let's suppose I was someone who who knew nowt about computers and thought it was genuine even if a little weird - I wouldn't be taking the laptop into the bathroom with me, my first thought would be to head to the kitchen and brew up a cup of Twinnings!
And little nerdy perv boy, instead of seeing my lovely naked body all steamy and covered in soap, would instead be pulling his pud to images of my lime-scale coated kettle heating element and if he's lucky he might catch a glimpse of lip-on-porcelaine teacup slurping action but nothing more stimulating than that!
Windows using Idiot here...
I sometimes type things such as search queries and passwords using the on screen keyboard - I consider myself fully bi-mousual in this respect rather than to lazy to reach forward ten inches and use the keyboard! I don't need to use command lines for work related stuff or anything and I certainly have not memorised any commands but have been known to go native under special circumstances. Maybe next time the need arises I will be mousing my commands into the console window rather than fingering my way in using the keyboard, who knows, might give it a whirl!
I actually started using the on screen keyboard because for a while I shared a computer with a disabled person who could not type and his keyboard was literally, underneath his desk as he never used it!
Posted in O2 floods London with free Wi-Fi
"This may see amenities post ads to punters in the local area to promote discounted restaurant offers or last minute theatre deals, which might be just the ticket or annoying overkill. Time will tell. ®"
Finally, the Soho 'Tart Card' goes web 2.0!
Re: Big Brother's Fabian deception strategy
I never said it was trolling. I was expressing my freedom of speech in saying it males you a pussy ass bitch.
And finally...
LOL This is just like the "good old days" of ITV with Trevor What's his face talking absolute shit on News At Ten.
Oh dude, I would so totally love to own an Amspad!
Yes I am posting under a fake name - I conduct all online "business" under a fake name and actually have two names I use "in real life" too plus a few other names I use as aliases for musical works I produce.
In all I have probably twenty to thirty names! It comes in handy for avoiding cross contamination, it means I can talk shit here unscathed too!
Here's a idea for those worried their government will arrest them for posting youtube comments - if google asks for your real name, lie! Or is that too hard?
Where's the "I'm a cowardly troll who lives in my mums basement and despite my racist and homophobic commenting past I actually jack off to inter-racial gay porn on a daily basis" option?
Posted in Ten... PC games you may have missed
I know I am rather late in this comment but it needs to be said...
Dear Esther? Seriously? Is this game where you take pictures of vegetables shaped like penises and send them into That's Life? If not it should be, and may I say it would be a better fit on iPhone and andriod, you could use the in built camera and send your knob pics directly to Esther Rantzen's inbox. She'd like that...
Well Rounded
I just used MS Paint to draw a rounded rectangle and then suddenly, iTunes popped up a dialogue box titled cease and desist telling me to erase the rounded rectangle immediately or they would, to use their exact words "sue my fucking Windows using scum, ass off!"
I am of course joking, I don't really have iTunes installed *shudders*
Re: I am not a Prawn
Whoever downvoted me is a prawn and the sort of person who would describe a DSL circuit as mission critical.
Re: In One Sentence [sic}
David's monthly check-up at the clinic was rather unsettling. When he returned home he fired off emails to Jude Law, Brad Pitt, Angelie Jolie, Charles Clark and Delia Smith to give them the bad news...
Have another
I wonder if Rebecca Brooks will do that thing where you have a blue towel put over your head as you're led from the back door of the court to the G4S prisoner transportation van?
I am not a Prawn
"You're precisely the sort of people that use the phrase "mission critical" to describe a DSL circuit."
No I'm not. LOL I would upvote you actually as you do make me laugh but I cant be bothered, doing so isint mission critical enough!
Posted in Foxconn plans massive plant in Indonesia
G4S in association with ATOS and Foxconn brings you...
...the twenty-first century British workhouse! Those of you too disabled to actually get out of bed (literally) can now relive the days of yore by being forced to work, and work hard, for your daily gruel! However, things sadly are not totally the same as the good old days - instead of smashing rocks to make railway ballast, you'll be tied to a work bench glueing batteries into Apple iPhones twelve hours a day!
Posted in Australians receive SMS death threats
Re: This is not a joke
Yo, that's my bitch bro - back off!
Hollywood law, Bollywood law
What about Colliers Wood law, should they follow that one too?
Posted in Australians receive SMS death threats
This is not a joke
Someone paid me to kill you. You have 48 hours to upvote me. Do not call the police or someone promise to get killed. Upvote me now!
